FabSwingers.com forum: Favourite insults

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is a lighthearted thread. Give us your favourite insults. No taking it seriously though

Jizzpixie

Cockwombling shitgibbon

Wankbadger.

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By *umalotagainMan
over a year ago

a town called malice

Ya bawbag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As useful as a bag of dicks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shitc*nt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Johnny Big Spuds

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By *elpful and caringMan
over a year ago

Scarborough

Bastard nosed fuckpig

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By *arrapsMan
over a year ago

port talbot

I wouldn’t piss in your mouth ,even if your back teeth are on fire.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look like someone has set fire to your face and put it out with the back of a frying pan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'You helmet'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only the dull, are brilliant at breakfast" Oscar Wilde

So true

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

As some said when I first came back " sorry I take a size bigger" lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Billy big-bollocks is one of mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cumsucking womblefied puffinated arsegobbler.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Loving these

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

You nobjockey!

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

Wankstain

Dickhead

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Cuntybollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Helmet

Bunglecunt

Cock juggling thunder cunt

Nobber

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Dickwad

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By *imsbackMan
over a year ago

Darkest Peru

Waste of your mothers milk ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your face looks like the inside of an asshole

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

"Your face looks like the inside of an asshole"

That just made me piss!

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

The best insult:

Years ago, when I was a student, I was bussing it to work after a lecture. On the back of a bus a bully was hastling this one kid.

The bully was calling him a dick and so on, the lad being bullied pressed the bell and has he stood up, he turned to the bully and said 'I don't care who you think I am but looking at your face, it's obvouse your mother still owes my dog fuck money, you ugly shit' then he walked off, head held high.

The bully was left whippering in the seat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dicksplash

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"Dickwad"

Are you just throwing words out or are you actually talking to your fella?

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By *r. Pepper...Man
over a year ago

liverpool

The age old 'gobshite' has always been a favourite of mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dilapidated fuck hole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your face looks like the inside of an asshole

That just made me piss!

Job done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mother should have swallowed you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Decrepit monkey skeleton

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By *r. Pepper...Man
over a year ago

liverpool

Teeth like a witchdoctors necklace

Teeth like a burned down fence

Once heard someone describe the footballer jay spearing as looking like a doll that had been in a house fire, which was bang on the money

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Skinny prick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The age old 'gobshite' has always been a favourite of mine"

I remember a prank where where typing "Gobshites" into Google Maps displayed Anfield. Gave me quite the chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cunty-bollox

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By *r. Pepper...Man
over a year ago

liverpool

"The age old 'gobshite' has always been a favourite of mine

I remember a prank where where typing "Gobshites" into Google Maps displayed Anfield. Gave me quite the chuckle

As an Evertonian I can confirm that kopites are gobshites

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nicola...has anyone said you look like Jimmy cranky

Joking apart Jimmy cranky and Nicola sturgeon have never appeared in the same room at the same time......hmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're so ugly I bet your mum used to feed you with a catapult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're so ugly I bet your mum used to feed you with a catapult "

She used to put my photo on the fireplace to keep the younger siblings away from danger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simple old cock jockey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're so ugly I bet your mum used to feed you with a catapult

She used to put my photo on the fireplace to keep the younger siblings away from danger

And age use to hang a, pork chop around my neck to make the dog play with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're so ugly I bet your mum used to feed you with a catapult

She used to put my photo on the fireplace to keep the younger siblings away from danger

And age use to hang a, pork chop around my neck to make the dog play with me

age=she

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're so ugly I bet your mum used to feed you with a catapult

She used to put my photo on the fireplace to keep the younger siblings away from danger

And age use to hang a, pork chop around my neck to make the dog play with me

Ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always had a penchant for fucktard

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory

We have a winner!!!

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Twatwaffle

Cuntmuffin

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory

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By *ocusMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

“You fucking waste of spunk!”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My fav of all time

2 wrongs don't make a right.....take your parents for example

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By *ocusMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

Favourite stress relievers of mine

Nobsocks, fucksticks, dickfuck.

Also fond of calling foolish people “spunkjugglers”.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you were born the midwife slapped your mother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are absolutely right, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink but.... You can make it fuck!ng wish it had!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Revenge is not in the plan.....you'll f##k yourself on your own

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

A few favourites of mine include arse head, cock womble, wank stain, prick and the good ol' *unt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed."

I love this one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plant pot

Plank

Shit head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your parents were to divorce....would they still be brother and sister

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Cockwomble

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

And c*ntwaffle

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Ya Quilt

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

You're as much use as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like a virgin with three legs.

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By *ir SupremacyMan
over a year ago

Bolton

My niece one is the best.....Your mum has two cunts.....and you're one of them

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

your as much use a chocolate tea pot/fire guard.

Or to quote Barry Sheen "as useful as a fart in a space suit"

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By *olinOfBathMan
over a year ago

Corsham

Go take a running fuck at a rolling doughnut...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wankspangle is another good one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bout as useful fart in fanny !

Bit like pissing in the wind !

Bout useful as a chocolate tea pot !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wankspangle is another good one"

Yes, another good one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everton fan lol !

Highly insulting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm guessing your face bleeds every 28 days ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not offended by what you say. I'm just glad that you're stringing words into sentences now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've a face like a busted wellington"

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

"Everton fan lol !

Highly insulting

Booooo ! COYB !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

- There’s more dick/cunt in your personality than in your trousers

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By *ocusMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

A highly specific one for use when men with beards are being assholes.

“Just because you’ve got hair round your gob doesn’t mean you can talk like a cunt as well”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mouthbreather.

Oxygen thief.

Twat (love this cos you can emphasise both t's)

Numpty.

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By *aughty_tonyMan
over a year ago

King's Lynn

"Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory

Lmao

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Skunkpussies and jizz monkies.

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By *uffnsmovCouple
over a year ago

Leeds/Wakefield

You're so stupid. Lancashire wouldn't let you in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuckwit

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By *aughty_tonyMan
over a year ago

King's Lynn

A work mate once owned me with thus classic, I just shaked his hand as had no come back.

"The average penis is 6in's long, the average vagina is 9in's deep. That means in Cambridgeshire there must be a few hundered thousand yards of useless c*#t and I'm stood here talking to 5'9 of it right now"

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

Twaty bollocks x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are from the shallow end of the gene pool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow, the air is well and truly blue with all of these. How about something without expletives:

Thick as pig's muck, twice as lumpy? Unperturbed by imagination?

But then I can sometimes be a bit of a c*ntnugget or worse still a motherfcukingc*ntsucker!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1 more brain cell you would be classed as stupid

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By *rystal DreamtimeTV/TS
over a year ago

horsham

You can’t educate pork !!

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By *aughty_tonyMan
over a year ago

King's Lynn

The fact that jellyfish have survived 650 million years and have no brains must be reassuring for you

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By *aughty_tonyMan
over a year ago

King's Lynn

"The age old 'gobshite' has always been a favourite of mine

I remember a prank where where typing "Gobshites" into Google Maps displayed Anfield. Gave me quite the chuckle

Lol yep and highly accurate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off !

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

You've got teeth like piano keys.

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By *dward_TeagueMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

I have a couple that I like:

“snotty little turd” and

“your life has been a complete waste of sperm and egg”

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

Cockwomble.

Wank stain.

As much use as a marzipan dildo.

You useless sack of cum.

** reference any episode of The Thick of It for more superb insults.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

You look like you've been dragged backwards through a bush.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

"Cunt

My personal favourite too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hasn't got two brain cells to rub together ...

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

I'm partial to Spoonerisms:

Barking fustard

Funting cuck

Wacking funker

Also use 'Aerosol' quite a lot when driving.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

You look like a Bulldog licking piss off a thistle.

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By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

Spunk trumpet

Dead slug

Thunder cunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twatwaffle

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

..another from my motoring repertoire:

Youttoxeter

(Anywhere,not just in Staffordshire)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Face like a blistered pisspot.

You're so fat, when you fall down the stairs, it's sounds like the end of Eastenders.

Your dad produced over 500 billion sperm in his life and you are the result.

You're so ugly even Jimmy Savile wouldn't fix it for you.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

.. and to emphasize the heirarchy of stupidity, especially on the roads:

'A Paramount Wanker'

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Bus Wankers......

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By *ullie-kingMan
over a year ago

newmains

Tadger

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

Smeg head - from Red Dwarf

Ya little prick / ya little bollocks - from Father Ted

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Your mother must of been a weightlifter to raise a dumbbell like you

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I wish my knob was as thick as you

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By *he_virgin_maryWoman
over a year ago

Here, there and everywhere!

[Removed by poster at 11/04/21 15:23:52]

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By *he_virgin_maryWoman
over a year ago

Here, there and everywhere!

You're a wanker, shame your father wasn't....

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By *he_virgin_maryWoman
over a year ago

Here, there and everywhere!

Cockwombling shitgibbon"

This reminds me of a song by a band I love....

https://youtu.be/otfp2WZliDs

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon

Spangletwat is my current favourite, but I will be trying a few from this thread

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By *rooperRedMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton

Syphilitic monkey cunt.

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