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 ). Us ladies (and couples, but I need to work with what I know best) are in a strong position on fab, obviously. There are lots more people looking for single ladies than other groups of people. We are in demand. And I do not deny that we all have the right to make our own choices about who we speak to, and who we have in our inboxes and our knickers.
But, ladies, what is it that stops you in your tracks with a man (or couple, or TV/TS)? I'm not great at private conversation, and have been known to ignore my inbox for days at a time, so I'm not really the best at knowing the answer to the question I'm posing. I don't, however, hit the block button in a hurry, but I know that some people do, maybe before speaking to a person, maybe during the conversation, perhaps when the conversation has died out a bit.
What is it that makes you hit the block button (obviously abuse aside, I'm a speed demon with blocking when someone gives me shit)? Do you block people for things they say on the forum? Do you block people for what other people say about them?
Do you block them just because they don't fit your preferences? This one in particular I find difficult.... I have no issue at all blocking random fab folk because they're not who I'm looking for, but I wouldn't personally do it to forum people because of the question and answer games and the like.
Is it as some people have said and ladies are so inundated with attention that they are always looking for someone "better"? Is it because they can cut someone off for any reason and there will be someone along to take their place? Personally I don't think it's either of those things for most of us (for example, I'm not inundated or looking for anyone particularly, let alone better). Is it just that we have reached the point where it's been that long a lockdown that we are willing to wait a while longer to find the right person and aren't willing to compromise?
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 you spoke your mind so no needs to apologise. Thanks for providing insights regarding blocking incentives. Sometimes it comes across as unfair and rushed. Saying that as I usually stand on the other side. | |||
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" you spoke your mind so no needs to apologise. Thanks for providing insights regarding blocking incentives. Sometimes it comes across as unfair and rushed. Saying that as I usually stand on the other side. "Woo hoo! My brain fart helped! | |||
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"I've only ever blocked 2 people on here. 1 for abusing me and one for being a complete fuckwit with me . Overly arrogant people I would consider blocking but fortunately there are mainly fine folk on here . No help I know but I'm randomly musing too xx" You didn't block me yet then....  | |||
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"I've only ever blocked 2 people on here. 1 for abusing me and one for being a complete fuckwit with me . Overly arrogant people I would consider blocking but fortunately there are mainly fine folk on here . No help I know but I'm randomly musing too xx You didn't block me yet then.... "Obvs lol | |||
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" you spoke your mind so no needs to apologise. Thanks for providing insights regarding blocking incentives. Sometimes it comes across as unfair and rushed. Saying that as I usually stand on the other side.
Woo hoo! My brain fart helped!"Brain fart did give me a bit of a giggle too so you nailed it | |||
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"I've only ever blocked 2 people on here. 1 for abusing me and one for being a complete fuckwit with me . Overly arrogant people I would consider blocking but fortunately there are mainly fine folk on here . No help I know but I'm randomly musing too xx You didn't block me yet then....
Obvs lol "Must try harder....  | |||
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" you spoke your mind so no needs to apologise. Thanks for providing insights regarding blocking incentives. Sometimes it comes across as unfair and rushed. Saying that as I usually stand on the other side.
Woo hoo! My brain fart helped!
Brain fart did give me a bit of a giggle too so you nailed it "Even better.... | |||
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"I normally block people before I have ever spoken to them and it’s usually because they are someone for whom everything is about themselves, which means things aren’t compatible. For instance the last person I blocked to day messaged this afternoon a longish message, sent a pic saying how much he would love to meet me, could accommodate blah bla. Looking forward to chatting. I ignored. He’d ignored my husband, ignored the fact it says we’re not meeting. Tonight I get another message, more pics, he’s free now would I like to go round. Dick!! No!! All the previous reasons oh snd COVID oh and I don’t even know you. Blocked him, he’s a total tool, doesn’t deserve the pleasure of wanking over my pics anymore never mind messaging me "I definitely would have done the same in that instance! | |||
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"Ive been here nearly 15 years and in that time ive had three abusive messages. Im very quick ( or was when my profile was open) to block anyone i wasnt interested in chatting too. Its made my experience on fab lovely and drama free" So did you do the preemptive block? Or wait until you had spoken? | |||
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"Ive been here nearly 15 years and in that time ive had three abusive messages. Im very quick ( or was when my profile was open) to block anyone i wasnt interested in chatting too. Its made my experience on fab lovely and drama free So did you do the preemptive block? Or wait until you had spoken?" Bit of both. If the message was crap i would ignore and block. If they sent a decent message id reply and then block. Never gave anyone chance to be abusive | |||
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"Ive been here nearly 15 years and in that time ive had three abusive messages. Im very quick ( or was when my profile was open) to block anyone i wasnt interested in chatting too. Its made my experience on fab lovely and drama free So did you do the preemptive block? Or wait until you had spoken?Bit of both. If the message was crap i would ignore and block. If they sent a decent message id reply and then block. Never gave anyone chance to be abusive" That's very sensible. But not blocking just because you didn't like the look of them? | |||
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"I get peoples idea on the fact there is probabky someone else ready to message or whatever, but it does seem as though alot of people block for the power trip of it, its an interesting discussion for sure" I don't know about a power trip really.... why would you think that? | |||
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"Ive been here nearly 15 years and in that time ive had three abusive messages. Im very quick ( or was when my profile was open) to block anyone i wasnt interested in chatting too. Its made my experience on fab lovely and drama free So did you do the preemptive block? Or wait until you had spoken?Bit of both. If the message was crap i would ignore and block. If they sent a decent message id reply and then block. Never gave anyone chance to be abusive That's very sensible. But not blocking just because you didn't like the look of them?" Ive never blocked someone on looks its always been because of their profile or first message. Im attracted to personality over looks | |||
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"I get peoples idea on the fact there is probabky someone else ready to message or whatever, but it does seem as though alot of people block for the power trip of it, its an interesting discussion for sure I don't know about a power trip really.... why would you think that?" Not sure, i just find that some people do it because they think they are better than you | |||
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"I get peoples idea on the fact there is probabky someone else ready to message or whatever, but it does seem as though alot of people block for the power trip of it, its an interesting discussion for sure" Why do you think its a power trip i used to block save me getting the abusive others say they get | |||
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"I get peoples idea on the fact there is probabky someone else ready to message or whatever, but it does seem as though alot of people block for the power trip of it, its an interesting discussion for sureWhy do you think its a power trip i used to block save me getting the abusive others say they get" I can totally understand that side of it,having many female friends that use the site, im aware of the tyrade women recieve, but if your a few days into q convo, and then blocked out of nowhere, its definitely a little odd | |||
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"Ive been here nearly 15 years and in that time ive had three abusive messages. Im very quick ( or was when my profile was open) to block anyone i wasnt interested in chatting too. Its made my experience on fab lovely and drama free So did you do the preemptive block? Or wait until you had spoken?Bit of both. If the message was crap i would ignore and block. If they sent a decent message id reply and then block. Never gave anyone chance to be abusive That's very sensible. But not blocking just because you didn't like the look of them?Ive never blocked someone on looks its always been because of their profile or first message. Im attracted to personality over looks" As am I.... thank you for sharing Diamond. | |||
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"I get peoples idea on the fact there is probabky someone else ready to message or whatever, but it does seem as though alot of people block for the power trip of it, its an interesting discussion for sure I don't know about a power trip really.... why would you think that? Not sure, i just find that some people do it because they think they are better than you" You can't know that's why though.... there may be other reasons, which is what I'm curious about really. | |||
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"I get peoples idea on the fact there is probabky someone else ready to message or whatever, but it does seem as though alot of people block for the power trip of it, its an interesting discussion for sure I don't know about a power trip really.... why would you think that? Not sure, i just find that some people do it because they think they are better than you You can't know that's why though.... there may be other reasons, which is what I'm curious about really." This is true, just a feeling for sure, and tbh, its not something i experience much here, more on other platforms, good to be curious though | |||
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"I block when am not interested and not really looking forward to the person messaging me in 3 weeks time with the same message, or if they are insulting me like usually when I say no. " So again, after the contact has been made. | |||
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"I get peoples idea on the fact there is probabky someone else ready to message or whatever, but it does seem as though alot of people block for the power trip of it, its an interesting discussion for sure I don't know about a power trip really.... why would you think that? Not sure, i just find that some people do it because they think they are better than you You can't know that's why though.... there may be other reasons, which is what I'm curious about really. This is true, just a feeling for sure, and tbh, its not something i experience much here, more on other platforms, good to be curious though" That's fair enough.... | |||
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"Erm I’ll never know as can’t ask them I e been blocked I’m like bleach me 99.9% of all people "Hmmm... not ideal | |||
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"Erm I’ll never know as can’t ask them I e been blocked I’m like bleach me 99.9% of all people
Hmmm... not ideal
"But hygienic | |||
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"Erm I’ll never know as can’t ask them I e been blocked I’m like bleach me 99.9% of all people
Hmmm... not ideal
But hygienic "True story.... | |||
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"Erm I’ll never know as can’t ask them I e been blocked I’m like bleach me 99.9% of all people
Hmmm... not ideal
"Wait this is blown my mind your interacting with me I think bit unsur as not happened before | |||
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"Erm I’ll never know as can’t ask them I e been blocked I’m like bleach me 99.9% of all people
Hmmm... not ideal
But hygienic
True story...." | |||
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"I’m interested to know this, I read profiles, attach face pics when I message n try make each message personal but (although I’ve not been blocked) not often do I get a reply..." Right I’m think I can see the issue here it’s your camera work it’s shocking on profile picture bigger zoom and your good to go  | |||
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"I used to very rarely block, & when I did it was because they'd been directly abusive via message, these days I do it far more often and for several reasons. Occasionally it is before any contact has been made. It might be in response to a status update, a comment on the forums, or something that is on their profile, that shows me without doubt that they are someone I wouldn't want to chat to or meet. I used to add a private note on their profile but that was time consuming so now I just block. " Now I did find this interesting reading | |||
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"I’m interested to know this, I read profiles, attach face pics when I message n try make each message personal but (although I’ve not been blocked) not often do I get a reply... Right I’m think I can see the issue here it’s your camera work it’s shocking on profile picture bigger zoom and your good to go "Part of the reason it’s blocking faces is she’s married so it’s intentional haha have face pics on request though n still regularly meet up with her | |||
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"Erm I’ll never know as can’t ask them I e been blocked I’m like bleach me 99.9% of all people
Hmmm... not ideal
But hygienic
True story...."Most boring person on fab often gets a blockn | |||
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The simple answer is - because I don't want any further contact with that person.
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"Good morning all, my reason if pestering and said no from off or deleted no reply after several attempts by them same response, Recent also been asked by them to block so stop then contact myself again. " People have asked you to block them? That's different... | |||
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"I used to very rarely block, & when I did it was because they'd been directly abusive via message, these days I do it far more often and for several reasons. Occasionally it is before any contact has been made. It might be in response to a status update, a comment on the forums, or something that is on their profile, that shows me without doubt that they are someone I wouldn't want to chat to or meet. I used to add a private note on their profile but that was time consuming so now I just block. " Have you ever changed your mind about one of those blocks and been pleasantly surprised? | |||
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"I have a rather large block list, I feel mean at times but it has helped to curb abusive messages and the volume of messages. Reasons; Sending a dick pick. Copy and paste the same message several times. Bitching that I’ve not replied. If there is a questionable status (for example one asked about working girls locally as though this is a hooker site). If what they say in a forum (those that moan about women not replying as an example). Page full of dicks. Photos on a single man’s profile of bareback sex. State they want slim women. Entitled or moany profile or status." Oh the bitching about no reply! I do enjoy those messages, particularly when they're sent speedily after the first message, or when I've not even been online, and then they come with a block so I couldn't reply if I wanted to! | |||
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"I don't block unless they are people who know me in real life Strict filters and non explicit pictures help me coast quite nicely under the radar of any idiots that want to use me as wank bank fodder and its very refreshing "I do love your pictures C. But I'm going to admit I never realised that you used them as another filter! Jeez woman..... that's brilliant. | |||
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"So many reasons
The simple answer is - because I don't want any further contact with that person.
"And that's the right of you and of all of us my lovely, and I have no right at all to question it really. I get nosey when I have a late night muse.... as I often say, I shouldn't be allowed to internet without adult supervision.... | |||
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Lu | |||
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"If it’s from messages, I’ll block for crude/excessively rude messages, abuse and if someone is generally being a dick. I didn’t ever block people from the forum, but I have started doing that recently, some of the posts have been eye opening recently, and not in a good way. It’s never a power trip or and ego thing, more as self protection. I don’t see the need to block people I’m not interested in really. " The self protection is my reason really. In a variety of ways. | |||
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"I should probably have just gone to sleep instead of babbling my brain farts at the Lounge. Sorry people That made me laugh I spilt my tea "Sorry..... | |||
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"If it’s from messages, I’ll block for crude/excessively rude messages, abuse and if someone is generally being a dick. I didn’t ever block people from the forum, but I have started doing that recently, some of the posts have been eye opening recently, and not in a good way. It’s never a power trip or and ego thing, more as self protection. I don’t see the need to block people I’m not interested in really. The self protection is my reason really. In a variety of ways." I think a large proportion of the time, people take it personally and think it’s about them, but that’s not necessarily the case. | |||
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"Repeated messages from the same person. Don't mind people having a perve and trying their luck once or twice, but repeated messaging starts to get stalkerish." I tend to ignore repeated messages once I've said no thank you once, unless they get nasty. But then I will block eventually. The beginning of year I had one guy who sent me the same pasted message every 3 or 4 days from January to about May  That was dedication, especially as I never once replied.
I do wonder what happened to him.... | |||
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"There are a few reasons I block people.... Unsolicited dick pics, people clearly not r3ading our profile, rudeness, abuse, persistent messages after being told no, saying something in the forums that makes me think you're a total fucktard, off-putting profile....i could go on. I don't wanna waste my time/energy on people I'm not into, and there are a lot of cunts about, so our block list is extensive
Lu "Despite never even chatting with people, or even communicating in any form I've been blocked "just because" I don't really understand that one... I get other more obvious reasons but "just because I can" now thats wierd... Within peoples rights obviously... But I don't get that one. | |||
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"I used to find it really hard to block people and would end up getting stressed and avoiding the site because every time I came online the same people I had already said no to would be there. It’s something I’ve worked on and now I block a little more but it takes a lot. Usually disgusting requests, I haven’t really had abuse. Recently I have started blocking guys that persistently message despite never having had a reply from me and I’m quicker with that if it’s the same message as before. " It’s your right to block anyone you choose. You don’t have to have a reason, or an excuse | |||
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"There are a few reasons I block people.... Unsolicited dick pics, people clearly not r3ading our profile, rudeness, abuse, persistent messages after being told no, saying something in the forums that makes me think you're a total fucktard, off-putting profile....i could go on. I don't wanna waste my time/energy on people I'm not into, and there are a lot of cunts about, so our block list is extensive
Lu
Despite never even chatting with people, or even communicating in any form I've been blocked "just because" I don't really understand that one... I get other more obvious reasons but "just because I can" now thats wierd... Within peoples rights obviously... But I don't get that one."There are several reasons I'd block someone I've never spoken to.... So I never have to speak to then being the most obvious. There's always a reason. | |||
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"My block list is empty. But I'm sure I decorate other people's block lists. "That seems to cheer you......  | |||
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"Blocking is a common place I think. For a variety of reasons. I've never really initiated a message to meet anyone purely and primarily cos we're on lockdown and shouldn't be. I do however spend time here on forum games that sometimes require a PM to get the game flowing. I was blocked 3 times last night for just such a reason... For simply participating in a forum game. Is that a reason for blocking? Who knows?" That doesn't make sense to me.... but as I said, I'm not really block happy. Everyone has their own reasons and that's what my over tired, over active brain was trying to delve into and understand in the early hours. The why..... | |||
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"I block anyone who is abusive or who won’t take no for an answer. If I’ve said no three times then the next time I block them. " 3 strikes.... that makes sense to me. | |||
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"I've only got 3 on my block list, they are overly persistent men who don't take no for an answer, feel your pain ladies even tho profile reads straight, filters not used cuz of engaging in forums..I'm not a great blocker, but make a great blockee" Are you a very well behaved blockee? | |||
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"My block list is empty. But I'm sure I decorate other people's block lists.
That seems to cheer you...... "Well...tbh...I don't care. I am trying to be nice and polite to everyone. If someone blocks me...I really don't care because I know there's no reason from my part. | |||
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"There are a few reasons I block people.... Unsolicited dick pics, people clearly not r3ading our profile, rudeness, abuse, persistent messages after being told no, saying something in the forums that makes me think you're a total fucktard, off-putting profile....i could go on. I don't wanna waste my time/energy on people I'm not into, and there are a lot of cunts about, so our block list is extensive
Lu "You two and I are like polar opposites in the blocking world Mrs! | |||
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"If it’s from messages, I’ll block for crude/excessively rude messages, abuse and if someone is generally being a dick. I didn’t ever block people from the forum, but I have started doing that recently, some of the posts have been eye opening recently, and not in a good way. It’s never a power trip or and ego thing, more as self protection. I don’t see the need to block people I’m not interested in really. The self protection is my reason really. In a variety of ways. I think a large proportion of the time, people take it personally and think it’s about them, but that’s not necessarily the case." Oh absolutely!! It doesnt have to be about the person being blocked at all, just the person blocking. | |||
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"I’ve tried to message a few forumites in the past, not because I’m interested in them sexually, but perhaps to say something supportive in private only to find they’ve blocked me. I then wonder if I’ve upset them in the past or if it’s because I’m trans. I don’t understand preemptive blocking just because they’re not for you; I speak to lots of people I don’t find attractive and have very fulfilling conversations. " So do I. And the preemptive blocking is something that while I do understand it,it really isn't for me. | |||
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"There are a few reasons I block people.... Unsolicited dick pics, people clearly not r3ading our profile, rudeness, abuse, persistent messages after being told no, saying something in the forums that makes me think you're a total fucktard, off-putting profile....i could go on. I don't wanna waste my time/energy on people I'm not into, and there are a lot of cunts about, so our block list is extensive
Lu
You two and I are like polar opposites in the blocking world Mrs!"We are! Over a decade of using sites like this aswell as social media teaches you to self preserve. It's not worth my brain space. You're too soft! But you've not been here long really...that'll wear off | |||
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"I’ve tried to message a few forumites in the past, not because I’m interested in them sexually, but perhaps to say something supportive in private only to find they’ve blocked me. I then wonder if I’ve upset them in the past or if it’s because I’m trans. I don’t understand preemptive blocking just because they’re not for you; I speak to lots of people I don’t find attractive and have very fulfilling conversations. So do I. And the preemptive blocking is something that while I do understand it,it really isn't for me." Hit send instead of new line 
I'd also say I would hope it isn't because you're trans, but I can understand that it would be your first thought. That saddens me. | |||
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"I used to find it really hard to block people and would end up getting stressed and avoiding the site because every time I came online the same people I had already said no to would be there. It’s something I’ve worked on and now I block a little more but it takes a lot. Usually disgusting requests, I haven’t really had abuse. Recently I have started blocking guys that persistently message despite never having had a reply from me and I’m quicker with that if it’s the same message as before. " I used to find it a lot harder than I do now, and I'm still slow to block. But what Fallen has said is right, you don't need a reason or excuse. I'm just a nosey bugger. | |||
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"I've absolutely loads (over a hundred easily) of people on my block list for different reasons including things they've said in the forums or they simply have something in their profile which means I don't particularly want to come across them again, a bit like my personal filter " I had to check if I was there
It is the ultimate way of filtering people I think. | |||
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"I’ve tried to message a few forumites in the past, not because I’m interested in them sexually, but perhaps to say something supportive in private only to find they’ve blocked me. I then wonder if I’ve upset them in the past or if it’s because I’m trans. I don’t understand preemptive blocking just because they’re not for you; I speak to lots of people I don’t find attractive and have very fulfilling conversations. So do I. And the preemptive blocking is something that while I do understand it,it really isn't for me. Hit send instead of new line
I'd also say I would hope it isn't because you're trans, but I can understand that it would be your first thought. That saddens me."It saddens me too, it can really upset me tbh, especially when I’m just trying to be supportive towards someone. | |||
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"I block for all sorts of reasons, just for ease of admin really, so if they message me after mentioning in forums they find body hair revolting for example, or they express a dislike for fat folk, or they think tall women are shit etc. I don’t want to waste my time or theirs by engaging in PM’s. I also block for being too close to me, rude/insulting messages. Being heavily persistent which starts to irritate me. I have no qualms in blocking someone. It doesn’t affect them as they probably wouldn’t even notice I blocked them (or care). " Some of us do notice and it can be quite upsetting, especially if we’re pretty insecure. | |||
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"People that are too close to home, people who post things on forums that we find abhorrent, profiles that message with an album of weeping penises, creepy messages with no photos, people asking for meets or weird things via message (they get reported too), people that pester after polite declines and creeps. "Weeping penises! Oh Mrs!
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"Random blocker here. It varies and I can just block because there’s nothing on television." I've always had you pegged as random.... but I didn't think the television had that much to do with it. Thank you Sam (and I checked.... I'm safe to continue to perve so far ) | |||
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"I tend to block people where we have reached out and they have let us know they are not interested, it saves them appearing in future searches. I have blocked a couple of people based on forum comments, where they have said something that makes me believe we wouldn’t get on socially. " I do understand blocking to remove people from searches.... that has always made sense to me. Have you ever changed your mind about someone you've blocked based on a forum comment? | |||
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"I don't block or, should I say, I haven't had cause to block I am good at ignoring twunts though Failing that, kill them with sarcasm Or bluntness Or an opportunity to meet Whichever works "I swear to god Bussy..... all I saw on my first glance was "Failing that, kill them" My head went a bit funky and didn't take in anything else, leading my brain to kick into overdrive and wonder if you meant it, were being sarcastic, had done it before, how did you do it, do you do it often, was it sensible to announce it on the forum, does that explain where certain people have vanished to? And in the split second all that was going on I was worried you'd end up in the slammer and not able to be here and I was sad. I may still be over tired and brain farty. | |||
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"Crap.... even with that massively long ramble I left something out. Everyone not in the 'ladies' category, same query about blocking.... what makes you do it? I should probably have just gone to sleep instead of babbling my brain farts at the Lounge. Sorry people." Other than abuse the only time I use the block button is if they overstep the mark.. persistently messaging even after a polite no, if I know them offline and the worst I've had is where they've somehow found me on the book of face etc (how the fuck I don't know I don't give my real name) and tried to add me and interact there by adding me or messaging after a no on here | |||
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"My block list is empty. But I'm sure I decorate other people's block lists.
That seems to cheer you......
Well...tbh...I don't care. I am trying to be nice and polite to everyone. If someone blocks me...I really don't care because I know there's no reason from my part. "That's a really good way to look at it. And echoes what Fallen Angel said about not taking it personally really  | |||
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"I block for all sorts of reasons, just for ease of admin really, so if they message me after mentioning in forums they find body hair revolting for example, or they express a dislike for fat folk, or they think tall women are shit etc. I don’t want to waste my time or theirs by engaging in PM’s. I also block for being too close to me, rude/insulting messages. Being heavily persistent which starts to irritate me. I have no qualms in blocking someone. It doesn’t affect them as they probably wouldn’t even notice I blocked them (or care). " I like the "ease of admin" description. That makes sense. | |||
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"My block list is empty. But I'm sure I decorate other people's block lists.
That seems to cheer you......
Well...tbh...I don't care. I am trying to be nice and polite to everyone. If someone blocks me...I really don't care because I know there's no reason from my part.
That's a really good way to look at it. And echoes what Fallen Angel said about not taking it personally really "This I've discovered I'm blocked by a fair few people on here, I'm guessing it's because I don't meet their 'criteria' as I know it's nothing I've personally done as I'm always nice and polite to everyone I interact with | |||
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"I’ve tried to message a few forumites in the past, not because I’m interested in them sexually, but perhaps to say something supportive in private only to find they’ve blocked me. I then wonder if I’ve upset them in the past or if it’s because I’m trans. I don’t understand preemptive blocking just because they’re not for you; I speak to lots of people I don’t find attractive and have very fulfilling conversations. So do I. And the preemptive blocking is something that while I do understand it,it really isn't for me. Hit send instead of new line
I'd also say I would hope it isn't because you're trans, but I can understand that it would be your first thought. That saddens me.
It saddens me too, it can really upset me tbh, especially when I’m just trying to be supportive towards someone. "I get that. It does for me too, especially when I've never spoken to the person. I mean, I respect the right to block of course, but it does upset me. Maybe Lu is right and we need to toughen up, but I like you as you are  | |||
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"I used to find it really hard to block people and would end up getting stressed and avoiding the site because every time I came online the same people I had already said no to would be there. It’s something I’ve worked on and now I block a little more but it takes a lot. Usually disgusting requests, I haven’t really had abuse. Recently I have started blocking guys that persistently message despite never having had a reply from me and I’m quicker with that if it’s the same message as before. I used to find it a lot harder than I do now, and I'm still slow to block. But what Fallen has said is right, you don't need a reason or excuse. I'm just a nosey bugger." Don’t be sorry, it’s interesting | |||
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"My block list is huge, and echoing much of the above: Arsey or controversial forum posts Gross status updates People im not interested in meeting as they dont match what im looking for Abusive and entitled people who wont take no for an answer and try to convince you otherwise But also: Folk who have no communication skills whatsoever especially those who focus their entire conversation on for example my tits or my ass and how they will treat me/my body parts (in a negative/derogatory way) Past meets who turned out to be wronguns or liars People on who's near who are my kids ages in case i know them and i dont want outing I use my filters fully so I dont get hundreds of messages and for those I do I'm always polite and I answer all my messages and am upfront from the start without being rude so its definitely not a power trip. Why on earth would I want to waste my time on here fending off messages from people I dont want to meet? " That does make total sense, especially as you do actually answer all your messages. I really don't understand how anyone thinks blocking is a "power trip" though I must say. | |||
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"We very rarely block people. We find it easy enough to just not respond to messages we don't want. It's only if somebody gets shitty with us that we block. The first one was a guy who blamed us for not wanting to meet him and said we had a bad attitude. The most recent was somebody who kept accusing us of being fake with no evidence and Hannah just had enough of her and blocked her. I think we have only blocked about five people over two years. Ignoring people gets us through most situations." I do find ignoring works most of the time... | |||
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"Crap.... even with that massively long ramble I left something out. Everyone not in the 'ladies' category, same query about blocking.... what makes you do it? I should probably have just gone to sleep instead of babbling my brain farts at the Lounge. Sorry people. Other than abuse the only time I use the block button is if they overstep the mark.. persistently messaging even after a polite no, if I know them offline and the worst I've had is where they've somehow found me on the book of face etc (how the fuck I don't know I don't give my real name) and tried to add me and interact there by adding me or messaging after a no on here " That's worrying. Maybe a photo search? It's one reason I don't have my face public to be honest. | |||
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"Maybe Lu is right and we need to toughen up, but I like you as you are "Thank you. I’m comfortable with my openness and vulnerabilities. I’ve changed myself enough already | |||
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"Generally if they are a bit arsey or rude.. My block list isn't that long thankfully. One is because I know him in real life and he didn't realise it was me. Best to avoid any interactions. One because he was constantly sending messages when I wasn't interested 3 or 4 others who were just twats to me after I said no. 1 because he took to being horrible in an initial message 2 more because they are nasty on the forums. " I haven't actually looked to see how long my block list is.... but I do know I'd not remember why most are blocked | |||
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"Only posts reeking of incel or misogyny would have me block the forumite. I don't mind disagreeing with someone but that is beyond their pale. Otherwise it's when someone can't take no for an answer or who were rude in their message." That is beyond the pale, and a reason that totally makes sense to me! | |||
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"Crap.... even with that massively long ramble I left something out. Everyone not in the 'ladies' category, same query about blocking.... what makes you do it? I should probably have just gone to sleep instead of babbling my brain farts at the Lounge. Sorry people. Other than abuse the only time I use the block button is if they overstep the mark.. persistently messaging even after a polite no, if I know them offline and the worst I've had is where they've somehow found me on the book of face etc (how the fuck I don't know I don't give my real name) and tried to add me and interact there by adding me or messaging after a no on here That's worrying. Maybe a photo search? It's one reason I don't have my face public to be honest." No pics on here that are on my social media that could be searched | |||
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"I block people who send me abuse, try to pay me, offer me dr*gs, message me over and over, get shirty with me for not replying or taking a while to reply, who give me the creeps or who I don't want to be able to see my profile. It seems daft to me to block people just over what they say in the forums as you can still see their forum posts. " See.... that is what I keep thinking. You can still see them, and they you. Doesn't make a great deal of difference if you can't see their profile. | |||
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"Maybe Lu is right and we need to toughen up, but I like you as you are
Thank you. I’m comfortable with my openness and vulnerabilities. I’ve changed myself enough already "You're a wonderful person Rachel! And a beautiful woman! If someone's blocked you iys very much their loss! I've always found you a delight to chat with! | |||
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"I used to find it really hard to block people and would end up getting stressed and avoiding the site because every time I came online the same people I had already said no to would be there. It’s something I’ve worked on and now I block a little more but it takes a lot. Usually disgusting requests, I haven’t really had abuse. Recently I have started blocking guys that persistently message despite never having had a reply from me and I’m quicker with that if it’s the same message as before. I used to find it a lot harder than I do now, and I'm still slow to block. But what Fallen has said is right, you don't need a reason or excuse. I'm just a nosey bugger. Don’t be sorry, it’s interesting "I'm good at being sorry! | |||
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"Maybe Lu is right and we need to toughen up, but I like you as you are
Thank you. I’m comfortable with my openness and vulnerabilities. I’ve changed myself enough already "You're amazing and it's so wonderful to see you so comfortable.... | |||
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"Crap.... even with that massively long ramble I left something out. Everyone not in the 'ladies' category, same query about blocking.... what makes you do it? I should probably have just gone to sleep instead of babbling my brain farts at the Lounge. Sorry people. Other than abuse the only time I use the block button is if they overstep the mark.. persistently messaging even after a polite no, if I know them offline and the worst I've had is where they've somehow found me on the book of face etc (how the fuck I don't know I don't give my real name) and tried to add me and interact there by adding me or messaging after a no on here That's worrying. Maybe a photo search? It's one reason I don't have my face public to be honest. No pics on here that are on my social media that could be searched "I have no idea then.... | |||
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"My block list is empty. But I'm sure I decorate other people's block lists.
That seems to cheer you......
Well...tbh...I don't care. I am trying to be nice and polite to everyone. If someone blocks me...I really don't care because I know there's no reason from my part.
That's a really good way to look at it. And echoes what Fallen Angel said about not taking it personally really
This I've discovered I'm blocked by a fair few people on here, I'm guessing it's because I don't meet their 'criteria' as I know it's nothing I've personally done as I'm always nice and polite to everyone I interact with " | |||
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Another reason is men that have straight on their profile but say they are bi in a message. As far as we can see there are only two reasons:
They are lying to the people that only want to meet straight guys
or
They are lying to us, aren't really bi, and just want to get to Debs.
We can usually tell the difference and sometimes wind the latter up by telling them how turned on Debs gets seeing a guy rimming me that it is a dealbreaker if they won't do that, before having any contact with her. They don't usually message back | |||
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"I used to very rarely block, & when I did it was because they'd been directly abusive via message, these days I do it far more often and for several reasons. Occasionally it is before any contact has been made. It might be in response to a status update, a comment on the forums, or something that is on their profile, that shows me without doubt that they are someone I wouldn't want to chat to or meet. I used to add a private note on their profile but that was time consuming so now I just block. Have you ever changed your mind about one of those blocks and been pleasantly surprised?" No, I've never changed my mind because the initial reason for the block will still be there. I don't block for minor things, but for things that are definitely deal breakers for me (drug use, bare backing, clear disrespect of boundaries/consent, etc etc). Recently there have been several where I've blocked in relation to their response to the pandemic. | |||
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"I very rarely block but I do counter block once I’ve noticed someone has blocked me. No sneaking back to take a look when they want, unless they make another profile of course, and who can be bothered with all that nonsense? "This would be me, ive only blocked people that have been offensive or those that have blocked me. What’s the point of befriending someone too block a couple of messages later?? | |||
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"Maybe Lu is right and we need to toughen up, but I like you as you are
Thank you. I’m comfortable with my openness and vulnerabilities. I’ve changed myself enough already
You're a wonderful person Rachel! And a beautiful woman! If someone's blocked you iys very much their loss! I've always found you a delight to chat with!"Thank you. Plenty have though. I just counter block, have a little cry and move on | |||
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"I very rarely block but I do counter block once I’ve noticed someone has blocked me. No sneaking back to take a look when they want, unless they make another profile of course, and who can be bothered with all that nonsense? "Plenty do though! It's something else I don't understand.... who has the energy?! | |||
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"The first person we blocked was a guy who wanted me to tell him it was OK to mutilate his balls. He wanted to castrate himself. We talked about it for hours. I think he really needed help but eventually it got too much and I had to block him. Others my wife blocked because of power mind games. If someone is insulting you they are doing it to show their power over you. If they are getting off on talking to you dirty when you have said no that's another power mind game. Building themselves up at the expense of her. If she didn't consent to being in a scene with you but you do it anyway then you need to be blocked. " I'd agree with that for certain! | |||
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"I very rarely block but I do counter block once I’ve noticed someone has blocked me. No sneaking back to take a look when they want, unless they make another profile of course, and who can be bothered with all that nonsense?
Plenty do though!
It's something else I don't understand.... who has the energy?!"How do you counter block? I’d be right on this haha | |||
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"During the last year I've become a pre emptive blocker, rather than only if someone became abusive. There are a huge number of people who don't match what we're looking for, just as we're not everyone else's cup of tea. Much easier for our updates, and searches to show more profiles we want to see and that means less filtering when we've got the horn! " I never really think about that logic.... but then I don't really look at updates apart from friends and hotlist, and I very rarely search. I'm not a pro active fabber.... | |||
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"The most common reason for us is peole not taking a hint. If they have messaged us to say "What are you up to" twice in the last month the reason we haven't replied is because we are not interested. Trust me, we haven't had to think about it and forgotten
Another reason is men that have straight on their profile but say they are bi in a message. As far as we can see there are only two reasons:
They are lying to the people that only want to meet straight guys
or
They are lying to us, aren't really bi, and just want to get to Debs.
We can usually tell the difference and sometimes wind the latter up by telling them how turned on Debs gets seeing a guy rimming me that it is a dealbreaker if they won't do that, before having any contact with her. They don't usually message back "Lying is a very sensible thing to avoid by blocking.... | |||
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"I used to very rarely block, & when I did it was because they'd been directly abusive via message, these days I do it far more often and for several reasons. Occasionally it is before any contact has been made. It might be in response to a status update, a comment on the forums, or something that is on their profile, that shows me without doubt that they are someone I wouldn't want to chat to or meet. I used to add a private note on their profile but that was time consuming so now I just block. Have you ever changed your mind about one of those blocks and been pleasantly surprised? No, I've never changed my mind because the initial reason for the block will still be there. I don't block for minor things, but for things that are definitely deal breakers for me (drug use, bare backing, clear disrespect of boundaries/consent, etc etc). Recently there have been several where I've blocked in relation to their response to the pandemic. " Ahh yes.... I've done that a few times. I have changed my mind about people once or twice though. | |||
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"I very rarely block but I do counter block once I’ve noticed someone has blocked me. No sneaking back to take a look when they want, unless they make another profile of course, and who can be bothered with all that nonsense?
This would be me, ive only blocked people that have been offensive or those that have blocked me. What’s the point of befriending someone too block a couple of messages later??"If they've changed in their messages maybe? | |||
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"I block people who come across as attention seekers, always putting status’s up about wanting cock and gagging daily, I also have blocked people for the constant upload of graphic pics I just don’t want to be seeing. I have never blocked someone for forum conversations, seems rather petulant to me... but I think it’s happened to me a few times haha "The graphic pics and statuses I can understand blocking if that's not what you want to see, definitely. | |||
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"I very rarely block but I do counter block once I’ve noticed someone has blocked me. No sneaking back to take a look when they want, unless they make another profile of course, and who can be bothered with all that nonsense?
Plenty do though!
It's something else I don't understand.... who has the energy?!
How do you counter block? I’d be right on this haha"Just block them from their profile (can still do even if they've blocked you) | |||
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Sometimes blocking feels extreme. There are times I end up having really tedious conversations just to be polite when actually I’d rather just not get messages from them.
If they were nasty, I would block. | |||
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"Only 2 on our block list, one is a couple that just kept sending us a 'Lets meet' request despite being told we are not meeting and the other is a single guy that just sent an unsavoury first message (and yes it did have a pic attached) We don't get a lot of interaction on here so never had the need to block people other than the reasons above. Maybe we are not controversial or sexy enough "Maybe not controversial but you're a sexy pair! | |||
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"I tend to only counter block ...I've come across people who have blocked me without us even saying hi on here ...I understand blocking as a control of who you want to negate from meeting or chatting with ...I just think it's their loss ..not mine....saves me wasting my time as well as theirs "Sensible way to look at it! | |||
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"I block people when I get fed up with their status updates or pictures in my local updates. I also block for insults/abusive or icky messages. That’s probably it "You're always pretty sensible and straightforward I've thought! | |||
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"So many things. I am not into doing a monologue and felt the need to reply to every message I get so when I take time to reply to a message that has been sent to me and that the said message is totally ignore, I blocked in order to find myself in the sale situation again. Especially when I am not the one who have instigated the conversation in the first place. Some written stuffs on profile makes me block them. Ppl I don't like the persona Ppl who insulted me and blocked me without giving me a right of response, I block them in case they want to do it again. And I think that is about it " All makes sense to me F&B.... thank you. | |||
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"I would like an option to send messages to spam
Sometimes blocking feels extreme. There are times I end up having really tedious conversations just to be polite when actually I’d rather just not get messages from them.
If they were nasty, I would block. "Blocking feels extreme to me too.... I like the spam idea | |||
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"So many things. I am not into doing a monologue and felt the need to reply to every message I get so when I take time to reply to a message that has been sent to me and that the said message is totally ignore, I blocked in order to find myself in the sale situation again. Especially when I am not the one who have instigated the conversation in the first place. Some written stuffs on profile makes me block them. Ppl I don't like the persona Ppl who insulted me and blocked me without giving me a right of response, I block them in case they want to do it again. And I think that is about it " Oh shit. I monologue! I need to use less words or post less. Thanks beard guy | |||
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"I've blocked a few from the Forum. Not for any direct exchange, I don't mind disagreement, but for really unpleasant things they've posted that means I'd wish to avoid any direct contact with them." I have blocked for really unpleasant things posted... but it really takes a lot for me to do that. | |||
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"I have a rather large block list, I feel mean at times but it has helped to curb abusive messages and the volume of messages. Reasons; Sending a dick pick. Copy and paste the same message several times. Bitching that I’ve not replied. If there is a questionable status (for example one asked about working girls locally as though this is a hooker site). If what they say in a forum (those that moan about women not replying as an example). Page full of dicks. Photos on a single man’s profile of bareback sex. State they want slim women. Entitled or moany profile or status."
Yes, many of these reasons why people are on my block list. | |||
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"I block people that just send a random, copy and pasted message. Blank profiles which seem a bit sus. People that have been abussive to me. People who are just looking for ego massages I wouldn't block if they seemed different though, I know I can when my mind is foused on work or normal life things, unless they showed signs of sexism or racism, then I would block for sure." That's a point. People do change dependant on what's going on in their lives. I try not to jump to conclusions when someone seems a bit different (but overthinker so I convince myself it's something I've done) | |||
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actually shocked me and increased my block list considerably.
I have certainly toughened up since I first joined the site, but now find the block button as a great back up when dealing with ignorant or abusive people on here. | |||
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"I block for all sorts of reasons, just for ease of admin really, so if they message me after mentioning in forums they find body hair revolting for example, or they express a dislike for fat folk, or they think tall women are shit etc. I don’t want to waste my time or theirs by engaging in PM’s. I also block for being too close to me, rude/insulting messages. Being heavily persistent which starts to irritate me. I have no qualms in blocking someone. It doesn’t affect them as they probably wouldn’t even notice I blocked them (or care). " I certainly did notice and do care that you did.It's a real shame but obviously your choice but gutted to say the least. | |||
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"My block list isn't too bad to be honest. I'll block if they send multiple abusive messages or if they say weird shit like I wish my mum looked like you etc. "Have you had a message off the guy who says his mrs looks like shit compared to you? I think he rejoins now and then. | |||
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"I very rarely block but I do counter block once I’ve noticed someone has blocked me. No sneaking back to take a look when they want, unless they make another profile of course, and who can be bothered with all that nonsense?
This would be me, ive only blocked people that have been offensive or those that have blocked me. What’s the point of befriending someone too block a couple of messages later??
If they've changed in their messages maybe?"Then just be upfront and say “not for me” | |||
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"I've not blocked many at all. Thinly veiled digs in threads which are meant to be fun - I don't want that sort of person viewing my profile. The odd racist comment I've received (not many in ten years, only two). When I've seen people bullying newbies to the forum. That's not okay and as childish as it might seem, I don't want to engage with someone who does that. And a couple more here and there. For the most part I'm rather agreeable. "I don't like thinly veiled digs or bullying, I think they're childish and tiresome, but I wouldn't necessarily block for those things. I do understand why a person might though | |||
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"I have a huge block list. I block for so many different reasons. I just use it as a filter and see blocking or being blocked as a negative. " *dont | |||
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"I don't block people as a rule, but then again i'm not in the position many find themselves in to receive abuse or crass / creepy messages. If I were, my block list would be larger than 1. I don't block people for having different views or for saying something I may deem offensive on the forums. I just ignore it." I think ignoring is the chosen way of many.... | |||
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"I used to find it really hard to block people and would end up getting stressed and avoiding the site because every time I came online the same people I had already said no to would be there. It’s something I’ve worked on and now I block a little more but it takes a lot. Usually disgusting requests, I haven’t really had abuse. Recently I have started blocking guys that persistently message despite never having had a reply from me and I’m quicker with that if it’s the same message as before. I used to find it a lot harder than I do now, and I'm still slow to block. But what Fallen has said is right, you don't need a reason or excuse. I'm just a nosey bugger." I’ve always been bad at it, even on chat sites. I tend to look for the good in everyone even after they’ve shown there isn’t much hope. My husband goes nuts with me cause he then sees me get upset or frustrated with someone. If I tell him a certain someone is back he just rolls his eyes now. I let him control the block list on our couple profile | |||
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"I hit block quickly - not to be unkind, but it’s to save the usual abuse when you say you’re not interested I’ll block over things I won’t compromise on - for example , conversation. Wat u up 2 - gets a block, only because I know I’m not interested already. The usual crass openings, a face I won’t find attractive etc " Blocking quickly does save on the abuse sometimes. I should probably use it more.  | |||
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"I hit block quickly - not to be unkind, but it’s to save the usual abuse when you say you’re not interested I’ll block over things I won’t compromise on - for example , conversation. Wat u up 2 - gets a block, only because I know I’m not interested already. The usual crass openings, a face I won’t find attractive etc Blocking quickly does save on the abuse sometimes. I should probably use it more. "I don’t see blocking as a nasty thing on here - I see it as saving their time too. | |||
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"I've only got 3 on my block list, they are overly persistent men who don't take no for an answer, feel your pain ladies even tho profile reads straight, filters not used cuz of engaging in forums..I'm not a great blocker, but make a great blockee Are you a very well behaved blockee? " No I circumvent it with new profiles, a silhouette avatar and the ever ingenious 'hey' message accompanied by the ever popular dick pic | |||
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"If I challenge someone on a thread, I’ll generally block them so they can’t DM me with abuse. I find that if you should get into a spat (sorry guys) with some men they can get bi/trans/ homophobic if their argument isn’t holding water after awhile, fragile male ego can emerge, so they go quiet on the thread but not in DM’s. Obviously I’ve had a few derogatory messages sent as well. So they get blocked by admin or myself. I once added to my status that I was thinking of leaving the site and the amount of negative responses along the lines of ‘if you’re going why don’t you just fuck off’ actually shocked me and increased my block list considerably.
I have certainly toughened up since I first joined the site, but now find the block button as a great back up when dealing with ignorant or abusive people on here. "When people descend into abuse because they don't have the ability or the validity of argument to continue a conversation civilly it boils my piss. Blocking is the least that should be done! | |||
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"My block list isn't too bad to be honest. I'll block if they send multiple abusive messages or if they say weird shit like I wish my mum looked like you etc. "Um.... if their mum.looked like you that would be odd. Because you look far too young to have 18+ yr old kids!! | |||
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"It's a sensitive topic - so many seem to take it personally. When we first joined I felt bad about blocking cos it seemed mean. Over time my perspective has completely switched around! Now I do pre-emptively block if I know by someone's status, profile or message that we're not a good fit. Why waste their time and ours? I view it as a fabmin tool. Mrs kf x" I'm still trying to get used to the idea of it as a tool and not a personal affront. | |||
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"People I typically block include: - Those local to me who absolutely spam updates, but who I don't find attractive. - Racists. - Murderous fascists. - Unhinged paranoids. - Misogynists and manospherians of any flavour. - People who are clearly just looking for a row. - Anyone who parrots Daily Mail talking points. - People who hate animals. - Militant barebackers. " There seems to be an undertone of murder I wasn't previously aware of rife on fab
Thank you.... | |||
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