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"If anything I'm probably somewhere in-between. I've still got prejudice, don't know all the social barriers, and say inappropriate things. Hopefully as I grow I'll educate myself to be more inclusive and less judgemental. " That said, I still think ALL of the old grannies hate guys who wear hoodies! | |||
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I don't think I am particularly. The rare occasion I do a thread I try and make sure I don't show bias in who I reply to - I reply to posts that are interesting/I have something to say on the points raised. Or I do show bias and reply to my friends because I'm comfortable with them and know they'll understand my humour.
I don't know if we should necessarily be more inclusive but more welcoming, definitely. Newer posters who aren't single attractive women come in for a harder time on here. I do wish more people would respond to the post rather than the poster buuuut slight hypocrisy on my part. People post how they like and will continue to do so. We all have biases, we all like people on here more than others. That's fair enough.
As long as they don't bleat about others not being inclusive (with the bleeding c word) or how inclusive they are, I'm fine with it. | |||
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"If anything I'm probably somewhere in-between. I've still got prejudice, don't know all the social barriers, and say inappropriate things. Hopefully as I grow I'll educate myself to be more inclusive and less judgemental. That said, I still think ALL of the old grannies hate guys who wear hoodies!" They hate guys with 18 spikes on the top of their heads also 
I was walking into a shop when had them and a old dear was walking out and she just said what have you done to your hair you stupid boy.
I just laughed and said that's special coming from someone with a blue rinse and got on with my shopping | |||
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"If anything I'm probably somewhere in-between. I've still got prejudice, don't know all the social barriers, and say inappropriate things. Hopefully as I grow I'll educate myself to be more inclusive and less judgemental. That said, I still think ALL of the old grannies hate guys who wear hoodies!" This is true we do. | |||
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"If anything I'm probably somewhere in-between. I've still got prejudice, don't know all the social barriers, and say inappropriate things. Hopefully as I grow I'll educate myself to be more inclusive and less judgemental. That said, I still think ALL of the old grannies hate guys who wear hoodies!" Hey I'm an old granny and i don't hate guys who wear hoodies !! | |||
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"If anything I'm probably somewhere in-between. I've still got prejudice, don't know all the social barriers, and say inappropriate things. Hopefully as I grow I'll educate myself to be more inclusive and less judgemental. " That’s an interesting response. I was thinking specifically in terms of the forums but your response in terms of society is probably the most that anyone can do. Learning and developing to lose prejudices is something that more people could strive for | |||
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"Fuck knows. Here? Life in general? I think there's so much pressure (sometimes from the self) to be inclusive you could burn yourself out trying not to offend or do anything that may be construed as excluding someone when the reality is they're not being targeted, they're not being deliberately left out. It's almost like one extra layer of pressure being put on in a world that's already quite difficult to navigate. " Agreed! I find it amazing that in a world that revolves largely around social media (particularly due to the pandemic) that people cannot simply detach themselves from something they do not like. We have block options. We can choose to un-friend and un-follow people or pages that we do not agree with. Yet people would rather take the time to make a comment on something they do not agree with, provoking an argument that could have been avoided... Why bring this on yourself, only to complain about it, when you could simply have avoided it in the first place... | |||
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"I'm trying to be. Always. I look to the harm or potential harm caused by actions, rather than the person. We learn, we adapt, we change. Or at least I try to." A similar response to Morningstar’s. I think that learning and development is an important part of personal and social growth | |||
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"Fuck knows. Here? Life in general? I think there's so much pressure (sometimes from the self) to be inclusive you could burn yourself out trying not to offend or do anything that may be construed as excluding someone when the reality is they're not being targeted, they're not being deliberately left out. It's almost like one extra layer of pressure being put on in a world that's already quite difficult to navigate. " I was thinking on the forums specifically. I think that you’re right though, you can burn yourself out trying to respond to all of everyone. Is the responsibility on us to include everyone? | |||
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"Being inclusive to me means the likes of Jim and Ash - they'll not only reply to every post but theyll also tailor a message so it's relevant to you and they've clearly given it at least a few seconds of thought. Actually, it's more... responding to every good point not just those complimenting you.
I don't think I am particularly. The rare occasion I do a thread I try and make sure I don't show bias in who I reply to - I reply to posts that are interesting/I have something to say on the points raised. Or I do show bias and reply to my friends because I'm comfortable with them and know they'll understand my humour.
I don't know if we should necessarily be more inclusive but more welcoming, definitely. Newer posters who aren't single attractive women come in for a harder time on here. I do wish more people would respond to the post rather than the poster buuuut slight hypocrisy on my part. People post how they like and will continue to do so. We all have biases, we all like people on here more than others. That's fair enough.
As long as they don't bleat about others not being inclusive (with the bleeding c word) or how inclusive they are, I'm fine with it. " | |||
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"I think total inclusivity is impossible. I think it's a good thing for people to make an effort to make new people feel included but it's always going to take time to get to know people when you're new and people are always going to get on more with some than others. I also don't think people are obligated to engage with new people. Sometimes people are in a place where for their own reasons they just want to stick to their own circle for a while and I think as long as its done mindfully and with remembering what it was like to be new themselves that that's ok. " I kind of agree. Like with people who expect responses to every cold message that they send out, not every post on threads can be answered and responded to. I go through phases where I try to engage folks and then others where I just want to chat and focus on myself. As you say, there shouldn’t be the obligation to roll out the welcome mat to everyone, although the other side is that without new blood, the forums will stagnate and just be populated by a couple of posters saying the same things over and over... | |||
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"I'm probably not in all honesty. When I start a thread I sometimes find it difficult to reply if I've already answered to a similar point and then I feel like I'm repeating myself. I think as Meli said I could be more welcoming and approachable no doubts. But I also think it's a two way street, can't expect people to approach you if you're giving off bad vibes yourself. " I see your point. I’m of the belief that not all threads need a response to every post and most should work like a conversation. Some can just run on their own, others require farming. Expecting a response from the OP on every post is a bit excessive and requires a huge amount of effort from posters, which then limits thread content. | |||
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"Groups become less inclusive over time often by accident , developing their own language and rules of etiquette assuming everyone new understand them. People transition from the back seats slowly to the front as they learn the rules, if they stay long enough they get on stage for a while , then become too exposed, meltdown and leave. I love this stuff , been in forums since 1997 and not much changes " That’s very true. So you see it more as a progression by virtue and understanding than by inclusion? Doesn’t that make the forums quite difficult to engage with and stagnant though? | |||
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"For me it's about us respecting and accepting our differences so everyone feeling valued. It will look like where people and groups don't have to hide aspects of their identity out of fear. It should enhance lives of everyone. If we all listen more and talk less and educate ourselves at every opportunity we are on path to inclusivity. "Nicely put | |||
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"Inclusive not so much, welcoming yes, exclude no. Sometimes I have time to reply sometimes not, sometimes I like to just read the replies and respond to any questions, other times I like to watch how people interact with my question" This fairly accurately reflects how I like to post. Sometimes my questions have a point, sometimes I’m just curious what people think | |||
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"I think total inclusivity is impossible. I think it's a good thing for people to make an effort to make new people feel included but it's always going to take time to get to know people when you're new and people are always going to get on more with some than others. I also don't think people are obligated to engage with new people. Sometimes people are in a place where for their own reasons they just want to stick to their own circle for a while and I think as long as its done mindfully and with remembering what it was like to be new themselves that that's ok. I kind of agree. Like with people who expect responses to every cold message that they send out, not every post on threads can be answered and responded to. I go through phases where I try to engage folks and then others where I just want to chat and focus on myself. As you say, there shouldn’t be the obligation to roll out the welcome mat to everyone, although the other side is that without new blood, the forums will stagnate and just be populated by a couple of posters saying the same things over and over..." Yeah that's why it's good to have a balance and as long as enough people aren't closed off to interacting with new people it will work. I just get annoyed when it's seen as compulsory all of the time. Obviously don't be a dick about it but it's unfair to expect constant emotional labour from everyone and it doesn't make people bad people for not always being up for it. | |||
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"Fuck knows. Here? Life in general? I think there's so much pressure (sometimes from the self) to be inclusive you could burn yourself out trying not to offend or do anything that may be construed as excluding someone when the reality is they're not being targeted, they're not being deliberately left out. It's almost like one extra layer of pressure being put on in a world that's already quite difficult to navigate. Agreed! I find it amazing that in a world that revolves largely around social media (particularly due to the pandemic) that people cannot simply detach themselves from something they do not like. We have block options. We can choose to un-friend and un-follow people or pages that we do not agree with. Yet people would rather take the time to make a comment on something they do not agree with, provoking an argument that could have been avoided... Why bring this on yourself, only to complain about it, when you could simply have avoided it in the first place..." I’m not sure that I agree with this. Ignoring alternative opinions or dissenting voices just creates echo chambers. If you don’t like something, there are ways of engaging respectfully but just walking past isn’t always the best way of dealing | |||
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"I'm probably not in all honesty. When I start a thread I sometimes find it difficult to reply if I've already answered to a similar point and then I feel like I'm repeating myself. I think as Meli said I could be more welcoming and approachable no doubts. But I also think it's a two way street, can't expect people to approach you if you're giving off bad vibes yourself. I see your point. I’m of the belief that not all threads need a response to every post and most should work like a conversation. Some can just run on their own, others require farming. Expecting a response from the OP on every post is a bit excessive and requires a huge amount of effort from posters, which then limits thread content. " Yet sometimes the poster puts that pressure on themselves. Take for example this thread - you don't need to respond to every post, my post didn't need a thumbs up whilst others received further words. It could have just been left as is. I don't think any thread (minus the nocturnal) people expect a response to every post. I don't see what's wrong with people not being inclusive. Most people aren't and don't try to be - whether that's because of comfort reasons, they don't have the energy, personal issues regarding posters. That's fine. | |||
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"I'm probably not in all honesty. When I start a thread I sometimes find it difficult to reply if I've already answered to a similar point and then I feel like I'm repeating myself. I think as Meli said I could be more welcoming and approachable no doubts. But I also think it's a two way street, can't expect people to approach you if you're giving off bad vibes yourself. I see your point. I’m of the belief that not all threads need a response to every post and most should work like a conversation. Some can just run on their own, others require farming. Expecting a response from the OP on every post is a bit excessive and requires a huge amount of effort from posters, which then limits thread content. " I think if everyone saw the forum as a busy noisy club. Then people wouldn't feel so excluded. There's always threads to start off with as a newbie, such as the music ones. Or the forum challenges. It's always going to be hard to jump fresh into some threads if you're not recognised. But it's the same in real life I don't expect the forum to be different. | |||
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"Depends. When we run the challenge threads, we make sure we reply to every person. If I start a thread I let it run and comment occasionally, so as not to hog it really. Try to be on threads always, but I also consider my comfort zone as part of it. In life, I don’t know, I’ve forgotten what it’s like. " It can be a difficult balance, I agree. Sometimes people forget about ‘our’ level of comfort or energy at times | |||
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"I do if I start a thread, I feel it’s only polite if someone has taken the time to comment. Less so on other threads " I think that it depends on the thread and also on the response, if it’s a sarcastic or derailing comment then would you still respond? Sometimes it can be very invested and also it can derail the thread itself to respond to every post. | |||
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"I think total inclusivity is impossible. I think it's a good thing for people to make an effort to make new people feel included but it's always going to take time to get to know people when you're new and people are always going to get on more with some than others. I also don't think people are obligated to engage with new people. Sometimes people are in a place where for their own reasons they just want to stick to their own circle for a while and I think as long as its done mindfully and with remembering what it was like to be new themselves that that's ok. I kind of agree. Like with people who expect responses to every cold message that they send out, not every post on threads can be answered and responded to. I go through phases where I try to engage folks and then others where I just want to chat and focus on myself. As you say, there shouldn’t be the obligation to roll out the welcome mat to everyone, although the other side is that without new blood, the forums will stagnate and just be populated by a couple of posters saying the same things over and over... Yeah that's why it's good to have a balance and as long as enough people aren't closed off to interacting with new people it will work. I just get annoyed when it's seen as compulsory all of the time. Obviously don't be a dick about it but it's unfair to expect constant emotional labour from everyone and it doesn't make people bad people for not always being up for it. " I agree | |||
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"I'm probably not in all honesty. When I start a thread I sometimes find it difficult to reply if I've already answered to a similar point and then I feel like I'm repeating myself. I think as Meli said I could be more welcoming and approachable no doubts. But I also think it's a two way street, can't expect people to approach you if you're giving off bad vibes yourself. I see your point. I’m of the belief that not all threads need a response to every post and most should work like a conversation. Some can just run on their own, others require farming. Expecting a response from the OP on every post is a bit excessive and requires a huge amount of effort from posters, which then limits thread content. I think if everyone saw the forum as a busy noisy club. Then people wouldn't feel so excluded. There's always threads to start off with as a newbie, such as the music ones. Or the forum challenges. It's always going to be hard to jump fresh into some threads if you're not recognised. But it's the same in real life I don't expect the forum to be different. " I was a bit shy first entering the forums but now I just hop in all the time
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"Fuck knows. Here? Life in general? I think there's so much pressure (sometimes from the self) to be inclusive you could burn yourself out trying not to offend or do anything that may be construed as excluding someone when the reality is they're not being targeted, they're not being deliberately left out. It's almost like one extra layer of pressure being put on in a world that's already quite difficult to navigate. Agreed! I find it amazing that in a world that revolves largely around social media (particularly due to the pandemic) that people cannot simply detach themselves from something they do not like. We have block options. We can choose to un-friend and un-follow people or pages that we do not agree with. Yet people would rather take the time to make a comment on something they do not agree with, provoking an argument that could have been avoided... Why bring this on yourself, only to complain about it, when you could simply have avoided it in the first place... I’m not sure that I agree with this. Ignoring alternative opinions or dissenting voices just creates echo chambers. If you don’t like something, there are ways of engaging respectfully but just walking past isn’t always the best way of dealing" Perhaps my phrasing wasn't great, but what I mean is, why create negativity when you can just pass it by. Yes by all means a debate is great and others opinions are entirely valuable for societal progression. What I disagree with, is someone taking time out of their day to make nothing more than negative comments before claiming to be a victim of dissent when someone else disagrees with them... I believe inclusivity can include a degree of ignorance (for want of a better word), like agreeing to disagree... | |||
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"I'm probably not in all honesty. When I start a thread I sometimes find it difficult to reply if I've already answered to a similar point and then I feel like I'm repeating myself. I think as Meli said I could be more welcoming and approachable no doubts. But I also think it's a two way street, can't expect people to approach you if you're giving off bad vibes yourself. I see your point. I’m of the belief that not all threads need a response to every post and most should work like a conversation. Some can just run on their own, others require farming. Expecting a response from the OP on every post is a bit excessive and requires a huge amount of effort from posters, which then limits thread content. I think if everyone saw the forum as a busy noisy club. Then people wouldn't feel so excluded. There's always threads to start off with as a newbie, such as the music ones. Or the forum challenges. It's always going to be hard to jump fresh into some threads if you're not recognised. But it's the same in real life I don't expect the forum to be different. I was a bit shy first entering the forums but now I just hop in all the time
"I've noticed you're much more confident than you were | |||
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"I do if I start a thread, I feel it’s only polite if someone has taken the time to comment. Less so on other threads I think that it depends on the thread and also on the response, if it’s a sarcastic or derailing comment then would you still respond? Sometimes it can be very invested and also it can derail the thread itself to respond to every post. " I'd say if I'm personally asked a question then I will usually answer it but not every comment requires a reply really and sometimes people answer before you get a chance anyway | |||
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"I'm probably not in all honesty. When I start a thread I sometimes find it difficult to reply if I've already answered to a similar point and then I feel like I'm repeating myself. I think as Meli said I could be more welcoming and approachable no doubts. But I also think it's a two way street, can't expect people to approach you if you're giving off bad vibes yourself. I see your point. I’m of the belief that not all threads need a response to every post and most should work like a conversation. Some can just run on their own, others require farming. Expecting a response from the OP on every post is a bit excessive and requires a huge amount of effort from posters, which then limits thread content. Yet sometimes the poster puts that pressure on themselves. Take for example this thread - you don't need to respond to every post, my post didn't need a thumbs up whilst others received further words. It could have just been left as is. I don't think any thread (minus the nocturnal) people expect a response to every post. I don't see what's wrong with people not being inclusive. Most people aren't and don't try to be - whether that's because of comfort reasons, they don't have the energy, personal issues regarding posters. That's fine." That's a good point about the personal issues thing. There's people on here that I know don't like me and I tend to avoid them as a result. I've had it when I've posted something that due to the subject I have made an effort to respond to every person and I have had it when someone I usually avoid for this reason has commented and then you're left in the awkward position of either having them as the only person not responded to or breaking your own rule of not engaging with them. | |||
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"I'm probably not in all honesty. When I start a thread I sometimes find it difficult to reply if I've already answered to a similar point and then I feel like I'm repeating myself. I think as Meli said I could be more welcoming and approachable no doubts. But I also think it's a two way street, can't expect people to approach you if you're giving off bad vibes yourself. I see your point. I’m of the belief that not all threads need a response to every post and most should work like a conversation. Some can just run on their own, others require farming. Expecting a response from the OP on every post is a bit excessive and requires a huge amount of effort from posters, which then limits thread content. Yet sometimes the poster puts that pressure on themselves. Take for example this thread - you don't need to respond to every post, my post didn't need a thumbs up whilst others received further words. It could have just been left as is. I don't think any thread (minus the nocturnal) people expect a response to every post. I don't see what's wrong with people not being inclusive. Most people aren't and don't try to be - whether that's because of comfort reasons, they don't have the energy, personal issues regarding posters. That's fine." No, I don’t need to but on this thread, I felt that it warranted it, at least at first. I think that there’s a difference between not being inclusive and excluding people but many don’t see the distinction. I’ve had regular posters complaining at me for not responding directly to their posts and that I’m excluding them for not answering | |||
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"I'm probably not in all honesty. When I start a thread I sometimes find it difficult to reply if I've already answered to a similar point and then I feel like I'm repeating myself. I think as Meli said I could be more welcoming and approachable no doubts. But I also think it's a two way street, can't expect people to approach you if you're giving off bad vibes yourself. I see your point. I’m of the belief that not all threads need a response to every post and most should work like a conversation. Some can just run on their own, others require farming. Expecting a response from the OP on every post is a bit excessive and requires a huge amount of effort from posters, which then limits thread content. Yet sometimes the poster puts that pressure on themselves. Take for example this thread - you don't need to respond to every post, my post didn't need a thumbs up whilst others received further words. It could have just been left as is. I don't think any thread (minus the nocturnal) people expect a response to every post. I don't see what's wrong with people not being inclusive. Most people aren't and don't try to be - whether that's because of comfort reasons, they don't have the energy, personal issues regarding posters. That's fine. That's a good point about the personal issues thing. There's people on here that I know don't like me and I tend to avoid them as a result. I've had it when I've posted something that due to the subject I have made an effort to respond to every person and I have had it when someone I usually avoid for this reason has commented and then you're left in the awkward position of either having them as the only person not responded to or breaking your own rule of not engaging with them. " That’s a bit of a catch 22 situation. Although I take a degree of pleasure in responding to people that I know don’t like me... | |||
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"I do if I start a thread, I feel it’s only polite if someone has taken the time to comment. Less so on other threads I think that it depends on the thread and also on the response, if it’s a sarcastic or derailing comment then would you still respond? Sometimes it can be very invested and also it can derail the thread itself to respond to every post. I'd say if I'm personally asked a question then I will usually answer it but not every comment requires a reply really and sometimes people answer before you get a chance anyway " That’s where letting the thread breathe on its own is important too and where it really tends to go somewhere, otherwise it’s just half filled with my opinion and no one needs that! | |||
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"What does that mean to you, do you think that you are, should we be more so and how would that look to you? " Inclusive to me means being open to new people and ideas. Trying to ensure no one feels left out or excluded. The type of person who never has a bad word to say about anyone. I don’t think I am. I am too much a loner to worry about feeling part of something, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try and fit in. I just don’t let my feelz get in the way. The world needs more inclusivity, however institutionalised behaviours need to be ousted first and that won’t happen in my life time. | |||
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"I do if I start a thread, I feel it’s only polite if someone has taken the time to comment. Less so on other threads I think that it depends on the thread and also on the response, if it’s a sarcastic or derailing comment then would you still respond? Sometimes it can be very invested and also it can derail the thread itself to respond to every post. " Yes it does depend on the nature of the thread, I agree. If it’s a sarcastic or derailing comment id probably by pass it. No point feeding someone’s fuel | |||
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