FabSwingers.com forum: Is it possible.....

By *eorge Jetson OP Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

To be TOO nice?

Do men (or women/couples) need an edge, a hint of rawness, a glint of ruthless "grab it and hold on" to hold ladies and couples interests?

Can being nice be seen as" too nice" and be risked being passed by without a second thought?

Views? Opinions? Experiences?

Discuss.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Yes. It happens all the time George. If it's happening to you just remember this ....

The kind of shits that don't include everyone and don't notice when someone is overlooked are NOT the kind of shits you want to socialise with anyway.

If you just mean for sex.... NO.. cocks / and faces are never rejected for being toooooo nice........

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I don't think a person can be too nice . Everyone should be as nice as possible.

But being a naturally kind person can leave you open to being taken advantage of.

It's happened to me and I'm sure others too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth."

Yeah but we can sniff out false nice..... real nice is nice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth.

Yeah but we can sniff out false nice..... real nice is nice."

Makes me sick up a little in my throat

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

Look up the whole nice guy things.

It’s about being genuine. If your being nice because you think it’ll get you something people can tell. We’ve evolved for millions of years to pick up on how congruent people are with their actions

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

What is “too nice”? I’m nice, nice doesn’t mean perfect in every way like our Mary Poppins

It’s nice to be nice and if that gets you overlooked in anyway then I’m ok with that. It says more about them than me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yep.

people aren't stupid, being fake nice will always be caught out.

just be yourself, whether you're nicey nicey or a little bit spicy.. you can't please everyone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not sure, but one of my best mates from back in the day, often had women fawning after him, he’s a good looking bloke, a woman said to me once that he was too friendly and nice and it put her off, once she got to know him as she wasn’t expecting it, I don’t know if she thought he was going to be more of an asshole because of his looks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Yes ..I'm too nice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Problem with being nice is people tend to walk all over you and take advantage of your good nature

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's nothing wrong with being a nice person but I do tend to be skeptical of people who are over complimentary or are all sunshines and rainbows. I like people to be real whether it be a good day or bad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Problem with being nice is people tend to walk all over you and take advantage of your good nature

Hence the phrase , Don't mistake my kindness for weakness.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"There's nothing wrong with being a nice person but I do tend to be skeptical of people who are over complimentary or are all sunshines and rainbows. I like people to be real whether it be a good day or bad

Yes this 100% . We all have bad days, just be honest about it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Problem with being nice is people tend to walk all over you and take advantage of your good nature

Hence the phrase , Don't mistake my kindness for weakness.....

"
ooo I'm having that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women are into bad boys aren’t they? Unless they want to actually date them, then you need to be the perfect gentleman...

Guys like sluts...in the sheets but ladies I think he streets.

*all just rumors I hear.

You can be too nice to some people who just take this piss out of you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Yes. We all have bad days, say bitchy things about other people, have more to us than being a 2D nice. Nobody gets on with everybody, on here or in the real world. I think being nice is a good thing - of course it is. I don't know one person who isn't human with flaws though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eorge Jetson OP Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

I very much keep things real, no hidden agendas here. I just think it's nice to be nice, I've very recently had the "pleasure" of reading the things that some (not all.. Dont kill me guys) single men (and even more bizarrely albeit rarely) couples deem appropriate to send women to try to engage in hopes of meeting and I'm at a loss to how people consider these things as being nice and expecting people to believe they are genuinely nice people. That said, is it better to have an "edge" a "bad boy" image that keeps people wanting to engage in conversation time and time again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Oh as far as the OP goes, I don't think people need an edge to attract attention/admirers. I do think they need to be genuine though. I wouldn't be put off someone because they are nice but as Peach says, authenticity is far more likely to attract me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth."

I was described recently as 'bitchy, but thoughtful'

I am like really unsure how to take that, so I'm taking the positives out of it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth.

I was described recently as 'bitchy, but thoughtful'

I am like really unsure how to take that, so I'm taking the positives out of it

Get you! How to take it? Easy one to answer. You know in figure skating when the crowd erupts and teddies and flowers get thrown onto the ice. Just like that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not sure, but one of my best mates from back in the day, often had women fawning after him, he’s a good looking bloke, a woman said to me once that he was too friendly and nice and it put her off, once she got to know him as she wasn’t expecting it, I don’t know if she thought he was going to be more of an asshole because of his looks. "

Maybe she found him creepy. Sometimes if people are overly nice it's weird.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Oh as far as the OP goes, I don't think people need an edge to attract attention/admirers. I do think they need to be genuine though. I wouldn't be put off someone because they are nice but as Peach says, authenticity is far more likely to attract me. "

Agreed. What is an edge when you think about it? A fine fucking line it's easy to fall off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth.

I was described recently as 'bitchy, but thoughtful'

I am like really unsure how to take that, so I'm taking the positives out of it

Get you! How to take it? Easy one to answer. You know in figure skating when the crowd erupts and teddies and flowers get thrown onto the ice. Just like that."

With grace, a false smile and a slight slip then?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth.

I was described recently as 'bitchy, but thoughtful'

I am like really unsure how to take that, so I'm taking the positives out of it

Get you! How to take it? Easy one to answer. You know in figure skating when the crowd erupts and teddies and flowers get thrown onto the ice. Just like that.

With grace, a false smile and a slight slip then?

I was thinking more of a tutu but ya know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the situation. I know sunshine people. I also know they are hiding being in really awful relationships. I think the sunshine is just their way of coping.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she found him creepy. Sometimes if people are overly nice it's weird. "

Nah, he’s not the slightest bit creepy, just a genuine nice bloke.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not that I have found find my niceness to be a plus point to be honest with you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Its easy to come across as a nice person when it's on a keyboard, its only as you get to know someone that their true nature comes out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she found him creepy. Sometimes if people are overly nice it's weird.

Nah, he’s not the slightest bit creepy, just a genuine nice bloke. "

He might be creepy to women.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she found him creepy. Sometimes if people are overly nice it's weird.

Nah, he’s not the slightest bit creepy, just a genuine nice bloke.

He might be creepy to women. "

Jeez, whatever

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be TOO nice?

Do men (or women/couples) need an edge, a hint of rawness, a glint of ruthless "grab it and hold on" to hold ladies and couples interests?

Can being nice be seen as" too nice" and be risked being passed by without a second thought?

Views? Opinions? Experiences?

Discuss..... "

It’s not possible to be too nice, as long as you’re aware with it I suppose. If people are being extra nice to please others or feel they are too nice and others are taking advantage, then that’s not good, clearly.

In an attraction context yeah, of course some people may think a person is boring if they are too nice (an unfair link I’d personally say), but that’s probably a good informer of overall compatibility anyway.

I see it as an attractive and / or positive trait if someone is nice, kind etc, but when it feels natural as already mentioned. And the opposite when someone is selfish, unkind etc on a general basis.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Loaded Friendliness' is a term my other half uses

I like it

You see it quite a lot in everyday life

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its easy to come across as a nice person when it's on a keyboard, its only as you get to know someone that their true nature comes out"

Exactly this.

Over time the mask slips and the true colour comes out. People can rarely maintain a persona for any length of time.

I'm twat. Always have been always will be, what you see is exactly what you get whether I'm online or real life. I cannot be anything other than me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"'Loaded Friendliness' is a term my other half uses

I like it

You see it quite a lot in everyday life "

Oooooo, sounds sneaky fuckery

*snarls*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eorge Jetson OP Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"Its easy to come across as a nice person when it's on a keyboard, its only as you get to know someone that their true nature comes out

Exactly this.

Over time the mask slips and the true colour comes out. People can rarely maintain a persona for any length of time.

I'm twat. Always have been always will be, what you see is exactly what you get whether I'm online or real life. I cannot be anything other than me "

But you have lovely pics and gorgeous blue lingerie. So that's a bonus.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

"'Loaded Friendliness' is a term my other half uses

I like it

You see it quite a lot in everyday life "

I see this in people, but I’d put it down to me just being an old cynic.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be TOO nice?

Do men (or women/couples) need an edge, a hint of rawness, a glint of ruthless "grab it and hold on" to hold ladies and couples interests?

Can being nice be seen as" too nice" and be risked being passed by without a second thought?

Views? Opinions? Experiences?

Discuss..... "

I think men who show their 'not nice' side can be attractive, not because they're 'bad boys' but because women think they're not trying to hide anything whereas men who are 'too nice' can be treated with suspicion as others have suggested.

The big flaw in this attraction is that these 'not nice' men are often hiding very unpleasant traits as well, while 'too nice' may simply be good guys like the friend CityJeans refers to.

Best in my experience to take people at face value until proven otherwise.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth."
This, being nice and being athentic are two different things. Just because someone is nice to your face, doesn't mean that they are a nice person.

It's all about being athentic to yourself as well and if you are authentic to yourself you should be seking to always improve yourself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

"To be TOO nice?

Do men (or women/couples) need an edge, a hint of rawness, a glint of ruthless "grab it and hold on" to hold ladies and couples interests?

Can being nice be seen as" too nice" and be risked being passed by without a second thought?

Views? Opinions? Experiences?

Discuss..... "

Too nice can also mean boring if they offer no true opinions etc. From experience I am suspicious of people that come across as super nice because they are generally hiding unpleasant aspects of their personality.

However truly nice is always great. I try to be nice, but sometimes my inner bitch does surface. I still TRY to be nice though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be TOO nice?

Do men (or women/couples) need an edge, a hint of rawness, a glint of ruthless "grab it and hold on" to hold ladies and couples interests?

Can being nice be seen as" too nice" and be risked being passed by without a second thought?

Views? Opinions? Experiences?

Discuss.....

I think men who show their 'not nice' side can be attractive, not because they're 'bad boys' but **because women think they're not trying to hide anything whereas men who are 'too nice' can be treated with suspicion as others have suggested.**

The big flaw in this attraction is that these 'not nice' men are often hiding very unpleasant traits as well, while 'too nice' may simply be good guys like the friend CityJeans refers to.

Best in my experience to take people at face value until proven otherwise."

They might be good guys. Or they might be nice to men but creepy to women.

** very insightful!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel

It's the fake 'nicey nicey' that you have to watch out for.

We like to think we are nice people, but some people can try to take advantage of your nice nature. But it won't change us.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm very nice. I like being nice, doesn't mean I'll let anyone take advantage, but I don't see a reason to not be nice to people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its easy to come across as a nice person when it's on a keyboard, its only as you get to know someone that their true nature comes out

Exactly this.

Over time the mask slips and the true colour comes out. People can rarely maintain a persona for any length of time.

I'm twat. Always have been always will be, what you see is exactly what you get whether I'm online or real life. I cannot be anything other than me

But you have lovely pics and gorgeous blue lingerie. So that's a bonus.

Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What exactly is nice?

For me, I like people who are authentic and who are themselves, who are real and true to themselves.

You can be nice/kind whatever and not be a pushover, you can be sweet and caring, and still put boundaries in place.

You can be nice and not be boring or false (obviously the opposite applies to all this too).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Past two relationships I've had have ended with the "you're a nice guy but..." excuse, and both women went on to utter bastards - one was/is a smackhead and the other got his kicks beating women. So yeah guess being "nice" isn't what all women want.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You can never be too nice ie pleasant and attractive. You can be too sychophantic, creepy and false which a lot of people think nice is.

People will often be passed over if they're fairly mild mannered or shy especially in group situations unless there's a "nice" person who notices someone is alone and includes them.

Nice on its own won't get you by in the world though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What exactly is nice?

For me, I like people who are authentic and who are themselves, who are real and true to themselves.

———

You can be nice and not be boring or false (obviously the opposite applies to all this too). "
m

False and fake. That’s not cool, and I don’t go for that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I think you can't be too nice, as long as it is authentic. And people are often cynical and don't trust nice people are being authentic. Which is really sad.

I do think that it can hurt you being too nice though, as people often take advantage, mistaking niceness for weakness.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I think you can be too soft and let people walk over you. That's definitely a thing. However, most of the time when I hear people claim they're too nice its because they do nice things for people in order to later use it as leverage to get what they want from those people and I don't really think that's very nice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

What is nice? Being kind and considerate? Being polite? Keeping out of arguments? I don't know.

I think it's a problem if people - particularly men - consider themselves to be "too nice" to get any interest and therefore try to present themselves as something they're not. That never sits well with me. Be who you are! Easier said than done, though, if you're not comfortable with yourself.

It's a fine line, though, particularly with the written word on here. Does keeping away from confrontation mean you are "too nice"? Does trying to be even-handed and see other people's point of view mean you are "too nice"? If so, then I'm probably too nice.

Mrs kf x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you can't be too nice, as long as it is authentic. And people are often cynical and don't trust nice people are being authentic. Which is really sad.

I do think that it can hurt you being too nice though, as people often take advantage, mistaking niceness for weakness."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What people need is authenticity (IMHO) and "too nice" lends me to think that someone isn't exactly always telling the truth.

Yeah but we can sniff out false nice..... real nice is nice.

Makes me sick up a little in my throat "

hope you swallowed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

There's no such thing as too (genuinely) nice however there are some drawbacks . "Too nice" people can be used and abused and walked over, both on here and vanilla life .

They're not less desirable in my eyes, I don't need to be "mind played" to fancy the pants off someone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Goog good guys comments everyone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Genuinely nice never advertises the fact. Bit like the nun's story...do good and disappear.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Yes. One of my friends is too nice. When I ask which outfit is the nicest she says I like them all so to not offend me for example. It gets pretty annoying. I'd much rather the friend who says ones a mess. Give me brutal honesty anyday

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread