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It’s ok to not be ok

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By *umalotagain OP   Man
over a year ago

a town called malice

People keep saying it, but do they really mean it?

I say this as a friend ( not a close one, but a friend none the less) decided to end his life on Thursday.

Possibly the least expected especially having spoken to others that he was on the way up and things were looking really good for him

So please check in with your friends, keep an eye on anyone you think might not be ok and let’s all get through this dam virus and back to some fun and naughtiness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s really terrible .

Sending hugs.

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By *umalotagain OP   Man
over a year ago

a town called malice


"I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s really terrible .

Sending hugs."

Thank you, need them right now x

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By *luebellRacerCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

Sorry for your loss OP. We have lost 3 friends to suicide over the last few years.

It's not easy.

Allow yourself to feel all the feelings. None of them are wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People keep saying it, but do they really mean it?

I say this as a friend ( not a close one, but a friend none the less) decided to end his life on Thursday.

Possibly the least expected especially having spoken to others that he was on the way up and things were looking really good for him

So please check in with your friends, keep an eye on anyone you think might not be ok and let’s all get through this dam virus and back to some fun and naughtiness

"

So sorry to hear this and sorry for your loss. These things hit you like a tidal wave but yep. We have to take care of ourselves. We are nearly there, just a little longer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one of my friends was found passed six weeks ago. i only spoke to him just before. completely out of the blue, and entirely devestating. We went through so much together, our children grew up together.

trying to navigate grieving for him, amongst everything else, has just pushed my own issues massively backwards, and it's soul destroying. Like the way im feeling for this person that i loved, and the hurt im going through, and the all-consuming guilt i have, is the reason i'm not attempting anymore.

it is okay not to be okay, and yes OP i do think people mean it to a certain extent.

But, like my friend, you never tell the whole truth do you? You never admit how dark the thoughts are, how poorly you really are, what you're really thinking or feeling, because you know nobody will understand. You don't want to burden, so you do the im fine.. and smile. and just get on with it.

Px

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Sorry for your loss

Sadly it’s still not ok for guys to be ok in today’s society. Despite the fact that men make up 75% of suicides it’s still not socially acceptable for us to be vulnerable and seek help.

I’ve lost count of how many friends decided it was too much and took their own life in the last 12 years.

If your a guy and your struggling reach out. Even if it’s privately with a friend or family member you trust

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By *.R.MMan
over a year ago

Norfolk


"Sorry for your loss

Sadly it’s still not ok for guys to be ok in today’s society. Despite the fact that men make up 75% of suicides it’s still not socially acceptable for us to be vulnerable and seek help.

I’ve lost count of how many friends decided it was too much and took their own life in the last 12 years.

If your a guy and your struggling reach out. Even if it’s privately with a friend or family member you trust "

This, every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry for your loss

Sadly it’s still not ok for guys to be ok in today’s society. Despite the fact that men make up 75% of suicides it’s still not socially acceptable for us to be vulnerable and seek help.

I’ve lost count of how many friends decided it was too much and took their own life in the last 12 years.

If your a guy and your struggling reach out. Even if it’s privately with a friend or family member you trust "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

one of my friends was found passed six weeks ago. i only spoke to him just before. completely out of the blue, and entirely devestating. We went through so much together, our children grew up together.

trying to navigate grieving for him, amongst everything else, has just pushed my own issues massively backwards, and it's soul destroying. Like the way im feeling for this person that i loved, and the hurt im going through, and the all-consuming guilt i have, is the reason i'm not attempting anymore.

it is okay not to be okay, and yes OP i do think people mean it to a certain extent.

But, like my friend, you never tell the whole truth do you? You never admit how dark the thoughts are, how poorly you really are, what you're really thinking or feeling, because you know nobody will understand. You don't want to burden, so you do the im fine.. and smile. and just get on with it.

Px "

So sorry for your loss, give yourself time and take care of yourself.

I have lost so many friends over the years to suicide. Some of them with no inclining or warning which made me question my ability as a friend because if I was that good a friend I would of known but that is irrational as you just don't know, people are good at hiding their feelings and in my experience the ones who don't talk or share are the ones to be watchful of

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By *umalotagain OP   Man
over a year ago

a town called malice

Thank you all for the kind comments, it means a l lot that “complete strangers” ( you are all like family) have commented and messaged me

Just remember to check in on your friends often

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"it is okay not to be okay, and yes OP i do think people mean it to a certain extent.

But, like my friend, you never tell the whole truth do you? You never admit how dark the thoughts are, how poorly you really are, what you're really thinking or feeling, because you know nobody will understand. You don't want to burden, so you do the im fine.. and smile. and just get on with it. "

I agree with this.. seemingly capable, strong, independent, happy, content people are masters at disguising how they feel and not burdening others

When you are in that black hole there is very little that can pull you back.. And if you feel it (even a tiny black hole), it is often there as an ever presence through your life. Sometimes it's not possible to resist the temptation to relax and fall into the enveloping blackness

So sorry to everyone on this thread who has lost someone, suicide especially leaves so many unanswered questions, so many 'what ifs'. I hope you find your peace and can move on

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 03/04/21 08:57:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a horrible thing. Sending thoughts op. Mark and Nicky. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand the pain you are feeling, having lost a family member to suicide many years ago.

Sending sincere hugs to all that have been affected.

Sarah xxx

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