Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to The Lounge |
| Jump to newest |  |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My son is autistic "Greetings Steve
How has your son been affected by lockdown? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My son is autistic
Greetings Steve
How has your son been affected by lockdown?"He’s not very sociable  but yes, has hidden in his room as he’s too scared to go out without me. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Mum of a young one with ASD. "I prefer the term ASC. How’s it going with him? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My son is autistic
Greetings Steve
How has your son been affected by lockdown?
He’s not very sociable but yes, has hidden in his room as he’s too scared to go out without me. "We had that with my son during lockdown 1. The sudden and drastic change in routine made his social anxiety almost unbearable. He wouldn't go out alone at all for a few months. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"ASD here. Dyspraxia and mild dyslexia. Adult diagnosis. All a big shock but made sense and a watershed moment. " It's huge isn't it? Suddenly your life and struggles make sense. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My 2 bothers and sister have autism as well " It's very much a family thing in my clan too. My Dad and brother are almost certainly on the spectrum but have no interest in pursuing a diagnosis. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So people consider autism a disorder? Something that isn’t right or normal? " Checks and balances. I would consider my dyspraxia and dyslexia a disorder so to speak they don’t do me any favours. But my ADHD gives me drive and my Autism gives me what I call a mental superpower. My 3D problem solving skills are highly sought after in my field of work. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So people consider autism a disorder? Something that isn’t right or normal? " It's why I prefer "neurotypical" and "neurodiverse" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm dyslexic as is my eldest son. I'm glad I know that I am as now my son won't have to endure the assumption that he is stupid like did. " 
Awareness is so much better than when we were kids. I'm hoping my son will bypass a lot of the negative experiences I had as a teenager and young adult. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Neuro typical here but fully supportive and accepting (strange to have to type that!) of divergent folks. " Hi Tea Monkey, glad you joined us | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So people consider autism a disorder? Something that isn’t right or normal? I use to work with kids with autism a 10 yesrs ago. Most people say they're not normal. Au contré...WE are not normal - they ARE. They don't lie and they're honest." My honesty is often mistaken for rudeness. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
I was diagnosed with Asperger's at uni following the advice of my amazing supervisor. For the most part I'm fairly good at presenting as neurotypical - I had to learn so I didn't feel as different and was accepted. Different to me meant unlikeable but now I know it's who I am and that's part of my strength.
I do sometimes find things difficult and it's exhausting explaining that I'm not always overthinking, I just don't understand what someone means. People can be very callous and cruel. For the most part I'm good. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So people consider autism a disorder? Something that isn’t right or normal? " I use to work with kids with autism a 10 years ago. Most people say they're not normal. Au contré...WE are not normal - they ARE. They don't lie and they're honest. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm dyslexic as is my eldest son. I'm glad I know that I am as now my son won't have to endure the assumption that he is stupid like did.
Awareness is so much better than when we were kids. I'm hoping my son will bypass a lot of the negative experiences I had as a teenager and young adult."It's definitely a lot better, as I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult. It's a battle though to get formal recognition that he is, especially with lock down. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So people consider autism a disorder? Something that isn’t right or normal? " That's a difficult question to answer because each individual's experience is so different. I belong to a Facebook group of Autistic mum's and the majority of the preferred ASD to ASC because they feel disabled and debilitated by being autistic. Personally I hate 'disorder' because I don't see myself as broken, just different. That word is used to describe MH issues like Borderline/Histrionic/Narcissistic personality disorder, which are usually due to negative experiences in childhood. I was born this way, so prefer the word 'condition'. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Mum of a young one with ASD. I prefer the term ASC. How’s it going with him? "He loved being off School, didn’t want to go back. His speech has hit a blip in that he seems to have developed a stress stutter, but School said that may just be temporary. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hey Nell et al!
I was diagnosed with Asperger's at uni following the advice of my amazing supervisor. For the most part I'm fairly good at presenting as neurotypical - I had to learn so I didn't feel as different and was accepted. Different to me meant unlikeable but now I know it's who I am and that's part of my strength.
I do sometimes find things difficult and it's exhausting explaining that I'm not always overthinking, I just don't understand what someone means. People can be very callous and cruel. For the most part I'm good. "Hey Meli I wish the term Asperger's was still used. By the time I got diagnosed it was banned as a diagnostic term altogether. I like defining categories as it makes the world easier to understand. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So people consider autism a disorder? Something that isn’t right or normal? I use to work with kids with autism a 10 yesrs ago. Most people say they're not normal. Au contré...WE are not normal - they ARE. They don't lie and they're honest. My honesty is often mistaken for rudeness. "Mine too & going off in speals as a know it all...nope, just cant help sharing knowledge or thoughts | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hey Nell et al!
I was diagnosed with Asperger's at uni following the advice of my amazing supervisor. For the most part I'm fairly good at presenting as neurotypical - I had to learn so I didn't feel as different and was accepted. Different to me meant unlikeable but now I know it's who I am and that's part of my strength.
I do sometimes find things difficult and it's exhausting explaining that I'm not always overthinking, I just don't understand what someone means. People can be very callous and cruel. For the most part I'm good.
Hey Meli
I wish the term Asperger's was still used. By the time I got diagnosed it was banned as a diagnostic term altogether. I like defining categories as it makes the world easier to understand."It is still used, I mean, I use it as that's what I have been told I have. Been diagnosed Aspergers at the age of 27, 34 now. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Mum of a young one with ASD. I prefer the term ASC. How’s it going with him?
He loved being off School, didn’t want to go back. His speech has hit a blip in that he seems to have developed a stress stutter, but School said that may just be temporary. Has he got an EHCP? If not, get one. I’d be asking the school what has changed that caused him stress and subsequent stutter.
" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hey Nell et al!
I was diagnosed with Asperger's at uni following the advice of my amazing supervisor. For the most part I'm fairly good at presenting as neurotypical - I had to learn so I didn't feel as different and was accepted. Different to me meant unlikeable but now I know it's who I am and that's part of my strength.
I do sometimes find things difficult and it's exhausting explaining that I'm not always overthinking, I just don't understand what someone means. People can be very callous and cruel. For the most part I'm good.
Hey Meli
I wish the term Asperger's was still used. By the time I got diagnosed it was banned as a diagnostic term altogether. I like defining categories as it makes the world easier to understand."Nothing wrong with being an Aspie! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Jeez I'm reading this thread and some of the stuff being said really has me wondering about myself. Particularly the rambling and over honesty thing. Plus I have read on a few occasions about both dyslexia and dyscalculia Reading the symptoms I can relate to so many. But how does one even start about getting tested for any of these conditions?" Talk to your GP. Unfortunately, there's a huge waiting list in most places. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So people consider autism a disorder? Something that isn’t right or normal? I use to work with kids with autism a 10 yesrs ago. Most people say they're not normal. Au contré...WE are not normal - they ARE. They don't lie and they're honest. My honesty is often mistaken for rudeness.
Mine too & going off in speals as a know it all...nope, just cant help sharing knowledge or thoughts "My Stepmum used to call me a know it all constantly and was really quite verbally cruel to me. Now it all makes sense as to how I was and the lack of understanding back then. I can’t help feel real resentment over it all sadly. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Jeez I'm reading this thread and some of the stuff being said really has me wondering about myself. Particularly the rambling and over honesty thing. Plus I have read on a few occasions about both dyslexia and dyscalculia Reading the symptoms I can relate to so many. But how does one even start about getting tested for any of these conditions? Talk to your GP. Unfortunately, there's a huge waiting list in most places." Thanks I'll try but getting an appointment with my GP is like trying to get an audience with God. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My parents were offered a diagnosis in my teens and they refused. (I knew nothing about this) In my teens I would have been an Aspie. I'm now autistic. They are unhappy." What are they unhappy about specifically? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Jeez I'm reading this thread and some of the stuff being said really has me wondering about myself. Particularly the rambling and over honesty thing. Plus I have read on a few occasions about both dyslexia and dyscalculia Reading the symptoms I can relate to so many. But how does one even start about getting tested for any of these conditions? Talk to your GP. Unfortunately, there's a huge waiting list in most places. Thanks I'll try but getting an appointment with my GP is like trying to get an audience with God." I know for autism, private diagnosis is available but it's not always recognised. And it's expensive. NHS diagnosis - the waiting list for adults is often years, I'm afraid. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Jeez I'm reading this thread and some of the stuff being said really has me wondering about myself. Particularly the rambling and over honesty thing. Plus I have read on a few occasions about both dyslexia and dyscalculia Reading the symptoms I can relate to so many. But how does one even start about getting tested for any of these conditions? Talk to your GP. Unfortunately, there's a huge waiting list in most places. Thanks I'll try but getting an appointment with my GP is like trying to get an audience with God." Go onto the NAS website where it lists traits and explains the process for getting an assessment. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My parents were offered a diagnosis in my teens and they refused. (I knew nothing about this) In my teens I would have been an Aspie. I'm now autistic. They are unhappy. What are they unhappy about specifically? " The label. They didn't want me to have the label. And autism is "worse", apparently. I sought out the diagnosis myself, and didn't tell them until it was done. I am what I am, and it's liberating to understand. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hoorah for Autism Acceptance Month! While NT myself I have multiple autistic friends with autistic children. Much love you all! " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Jeez I'm reading this thread and some of the stuff being said really has me wondering about myself. Particularly the rambling and over honesty thing. Plus I have read on a few occasions about both dyslexia and dyscalculia Reading the symptoms I can relate to so many. But how does one even start about getting tested for any of these conditions? Talk to your GP. Unfortunately, there's a huge waiting list in most places. Thanks I'll try but getting an appointment with my GP is like trying to get an audience with God." My employer sent me to a spld assessment who took a look at what I presented with and sent me to onward referrals. That’s perhaps another way for you to try. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My parents were offered a diagnosis in my teens and they refused. (I knew nothing about this) In my teens I would have been an Aspie. I'm now autistic. They are unhappy. What are they unhappy about specifically? The label. They didn't want me to have the label. And autism is "worse", apparently. I sought out the diagnosis myself, and didn't tell them until it was done. I am what I am, and it's liberating to understand." I have a huge issue with the 'label' argument. It's not a label, it's a diagnosis. Glad you were able to do what was right for you | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I worked for 10 fantastically amazing years with children on the spectrum. They taught me so many wonderful things and how there is no wrong way of thinking about school just different better ways "I agree with this. Schools and their staff are quite capable of changing what they do to fit in with kids with ASC and very often any changes benefit all the kids. A lot of teaching staff won’t listen or refuse to change. Except when they met pushy parent who knows his stuff me. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My parents were offered a diagnosis in my teens and they refused. (I knew nothing about this) In my teens I would have been an Aspie. I'm now autistic. They are unhappy. What are they unhappy about specifically? The label. They didn't want me to have the label. And autism is "worse", apparently. I sought out the diagnosis myself, and didn't tell them until it was done. I am what I am, and it's liberating to understand. I have a huge issue with the 'label' argument. It's not a label, it's a diagnosis. Glad you were able to do what was right for you "Thank you. They just thought I'd get through or grow out of it. Afraid not. I adapt, I always have. You kind of have to. But it's a way to understand how I am, to help myself get by. To find people who get me. To limit and mitigate any disabling factors. To help me flourish, not just cope. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So people consider autism a disorder? Something that isn’t right or normal? I use to work with kids with autism a 10 yesrs ago. Most people say they're not normal. Au contré...WE are not normal - they ARE. They don't lie and they're honest. My honesty is often mistaken for rudeness.
Mine too & going off in speals as a know it all...nope, just cant help sharing knowledge or thoughts
My Stepmum used to call me a know it all constantly and was really quite verbally cruel to me. Now it all makes sense as to how I was and the lack of understanding back then.
I can’t help feel real resentment over it all sadly."That's understandable. Being misunderstood has caused me great distress in the past. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So people consider autism a disorder? Something that isn’t right or normal? I use to work with kids with autism a 10 yesrs ago. Most people say they're not normal. Au contré...WE are not normal - they ARE. They don't lie and they're honest. My honesty is often mistaken for rudeness.
Mine too & going off in speals as a know it all...nope, just cant help sharing knowledge or thoughts
My Stepmum used to call me a know it all constantly and was really quite verbally cruel to me. Now it all makes sense as to how I was and the lack of understanding back then.
I can’t help feel real resentment over it all sadly.
That's understandable. Being misunderstood has caused me great distress in the past."Same. Sympathies | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I worked for 10 fantastically amazing years with children on the spectrum. They taught me so many wonderful things and how there is no wrong way of thinking about school just different better ways I agree with this. Schools and their staff are quite capable of changing what they do to fit in with kids with ASC and very often any changes benefit all the kids. A lot of teaching staff won’t listen or refuse to change. Except when they met pushy parent who knows his stuff me. "This is interesting to me. Most of my friends have taken or kept their kids out of school, because schools cannot and/or will not provide autistic children with the support they require to go. I agree that changes made usually benefit NT as well as ND children. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I worked for 10 fantastically amazing years with children on the spectrum. They taught me so many wonderful things and how there is no wrong way of thinking about school just different better ways I agree with this. Schools and their staff are quite capable of changing what they do to fit in with kids with ASC and very often any changes benefit all the kids. A lot of teaching staff won’t listen or refuse to change. Except when they met pushy parent who knows his stuff me.
This is interesting to me. Most of my friends have taken or kept their kids out of school, because schools cannot and/or will not provide autistic children with the support they require to go. I agree that changes made usually benefit NT as well as ND children."if the child has an EHCP they have a legal requirement to meet the needs of the child. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I worked for 10 fantastically amazing years with children on the spectrum. They taught me so many wonderful things and how there is no wrong way of thinking about school just different better ways I agree with this. Schools and their staff are quite capable of changing what they do to fit in with kids with ASC and very often any changes benefit all the kids. A lot of teaching staff won’t listen or refuse to change. Except when they met pushy parent who knows his stuff me.
This is interesting to me. Most of my friends have taken or kept their kids out of school, because schools cannot and/or will not provide autistic children with the support they require to go. I agree that changes made usually benefit NT as well as ND children."School was a fucking shit show for me. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? " If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. It's a huge spectrum. If they're able enough - ask. 99.9% of the bullshit I deal with could be dealt with by just asking me how to handle it. Nothing I ask for is extreme. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? " The first thing I'd like people to know is that the spectrum is not a gradient, with non-verbal at one end and Einstein at the other. Every autistic person will exhibit traits from the 'triad of impairments' in a unique way and just because someone is 'high functioning' doesn't mean they are 'low needs'. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I worked for 10 fantastically amazing years with children on the spectrum. They taught me so many wonderful things and how there is no wrong way of thinking about school just different better ways I agree with this. Schools and their staff are quite capable of changing what they do to fit in with kids with ASC and very often any changes benefit all the kids. A lot of teaching staff won’t listen or refuse to change. Except when they met pushy parent who knows his stuff me.
This is interesting to me. Most of my friends have taken or kept their kids out of school, because schools cannot and/or will not provide autistic children with the support they require to go. I agree that changes made usually benefit NT as well as ND children. if the child has an EHCP they have a legal requirement to meet the needs of the child. "Getting the EHCP in the first place is like pulling teeth | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? " that most people with ASC are not mentally subnormal | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? The first thing I'd like people to know is that the spectrum is not a gradient, with non-verbal at one end and Einstein at the other. Every autistic person will exhibit traits from the 'triad of impairments' in a unique way and just because someone is 'high functioning' doesn't mean they are 'low needs'." Christ yes. So often "high functioning" is mistaken for "doesn't need help". It's more like "is able to hide their autism to not upset the neurotypicals". It's exhausting, I'm doing my best, ffs meet me some of the way. Please. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" My Stepmum used to call me a know it all constantly and was really quite verbally cruel to me. Now it all makes sense as to how I was and the lack of understanding back then. I can’t help feel real resentment over it all sadly." This resonates with me. I've been told before I'm very outspoken in what I believe many times. And the know it all comments as well. Feeling resentment is understandable. x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I worked for 10 fantastically amazing years with children on the spectrum. They taught me so many wonderful things and how there is no wrong way of thinking about school just different better ways I agree with this. Schools and their staff are quite capable of changing what they do to fit in with kids with ASC and very often any changes benefit all the kids. A lot of teaching staff won’t listen or refuse to change. Except when they met pushy parent who knows his stuff me.
This is interesting to me. Most of my friends have taken or kept their kids out of school, because schools cannot and/or will not provide autistic children with the support they require to go. I agree that changes made usually benefit NT as well as ND children. if the child has an EHCP they have a legal requirement to meet the needs of the child.
Getting the EHCP in the first place is like pulling teeth "I won’t disagree but it depends what you say to who and what evidence you can supply to back up your submission. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hey Nell et al!
I was diagnosed with Asperger's at uni following the advice of my amazing supervisor. For the most part I'm fairly good at presenting as neurotypical - I had to learn so I didn't feel as different and was accepted. Different to me meant unlikeable but now I know it's who I am and that's part of my strength.
I do sometimes find things difficult and it's exhausting explaining that I'm not always overthinking, I just don't understand what someone means. People can be very callous and cruel. For the most part I'm good.
Hey Meli
I wish the term Asperger's was still used. By the time I got diagnosed it was banned as a diagnostic term altogether. I like defining categories as it makes the world easier to understand."Ah yes, it's now all under the umbrella term ASC isn't it? I don't understand why that was done in all honesty. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Mr KC was diagnosed about 6 years ago, so he was 28. I think he's found it cathartic to know why he's him. It's helped our relationship immensely too. I think we're both glad he went through the diagnosis process." if anything it gives one an explanation | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Jeez I'm reading this thread and some of the stuff being said really has me wondering about myself. Particularly the rambling and over honesty thing. Plus I have read on a few occasions about both dyslexia and dyscalculia Reading the symptoms I can relate to so many. But how does one even start about getting tested for any of these conditions? Talk to your GP. Unfortunately, there's a huge waiting list in most places. Thanks I'll try but getting an appointment with my GP is like trying to get an audience with God. My employer sent me to a spld assessment who took a look at what I presented with and sent me to onward referrals. That’s perhaps another way for you to try. " Gp is one option but often longest. If your work has a health insurance policy, you can claim the appointment costs through that. Private is another but is expensive and not always recognised diagnosis by nhs so be careful who you go to. I.e. i was diagnosed private but by a nhs recognised psych, many in Glasgow for instance go to Gordon Brown who claims to be an ADHD specialist however everyone who walks in his office gets a diagnosis and then gets refused meds on NHS & forced to pay him again for the perception & for meds out of own pocket. (we don't pay for perceptions up here). The reason why the NHS have an issue is because of the spectrum, in simple terms there are a range of traits/behaviours/ticks that ADHD, Autism, bi-polar, aspergers (and others) all have in common, the frequency and effects on the person are really what makes the difference between them, you can also be co-morbid & have several. For instant there's 3 adhd's, Inattentive (daydreamer), Hyperactive (not always phsyical, can also be mentally overactive) & combined (me, i won the full bag)
My mate has 6!
therefore, Gordon brown could be giving wrong diagnosis & therefore wrong meds.
Atm alot of psychs are dealing with severe cases ( due to lock downs) or have been re-distrubuted to other areas of NHS (since all are at least have basic medical training).
The foundations and support groups have lots of help towards it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" My Stepmum used to call me a know it all constantly and was really quite verbally cruel to me. Now it all makes sense as to how I was and the lack of understanding back then. I can’t help feel real resentment over it all sadly. This resonates with me. I've been told before I'm very outspoken in what I believe many times. And the know it all comments as well. Feeling resentment is understandable. x" This for me too. I do talk alot though | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Mr KC was diagnosed about 6 years ago, so he was 28. I think he's found it cathartic to know why he's him. It's helped our relationship immensely too. I think we're both glad he went through the diagnosis process."
The diagnosis can be just as beneficial to family and friend's as to the individual receiving it, for sure. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have high functioning autism. My niece has tourrets and my nephew is currently being assessed for Aspie." Hi Lorna | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. It's a huge spectrum. If they're able enough - ask. 99.9% of the bullshit I deal with could be dealt with by just asking me how to handle it. Nothing I ask for is extreme." How would I know they have autism if they don't tell me? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. It's a huge spectrum. If they're able enough - ask. 99.9% of the bullshit I deal with could be dealt with by just asking me how to handle it. Nothing I ask for is extreme. How would I know they have autism if they don't tell me?" You don't. But if you're dealing with someone and weirdness comes up, it's easier to ask. They may not disclose but it's also a way for them to mitigate. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? The first thing I'd like people to know is that the spectrum is not a gradient, with non-verbal at one end and Einstein at the other. Every autistic person will exhibit traits from the 'triad of impairments' in a unique way and just because someone is 'high functioning' doesn't mean they are 'low needs'." Thank you I've looked that up. "These are known as 'the triad of impairments', or 'the three impairments': Social Interaction. ... Social Communication. ... Rigidity of Thinking and Difficulties with Social Imagination" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? that most people with ASC are not mentally subnormal " I suppose people often fear what they don't understand. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? The first thing I'd like people to know is that the spectrum is not a gradient, with non-verbal at one end and Einstein at the other. Every autistic person will exhibit traits from the 'triad of impairments' in a unique way and just because someone is 'high functioning' doesn't mean they are 'low needs'. Thank you I've looked that up. "These are known as 'the triad of impairments', or 'the three impairments': Social Interaction. ... Social Communication. ... Rigidity of Thinking and Difficulties with Social Imagination" "I'm very rigid with my thinking and can't let things easily if I'm passionate about something or believe I'm right. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I worked for 10 fantastically amazing years with children on the spectrum. They taught me so many wonderful things and how there is no wrong way of thinking about school just different better ways I agree with this. Schools and their staff are quite capable of changing what they do to fit in with kids with ASC and very often any changes benefit all the kids. A lot of teaching staff won’t listen or refuse to change. Except when they met pushy parent who knows his stuff me.
This is interesting to me. Most of my friends have taken or kept their kids out of school, because schools cannot and/or will not provide autistic children with the support they require to go. I agree that changes made usually benefit NT as well as ND children.
School was a fucking shit show for me."Me too, wasn't even allowed in the door of half my classes so i pissed off the the stables & worked/taught riding largely to disabled (physical & mental) people during week actually, NT's were at weekend. Wasn't allowed on trips either due to timekeeping (late always, not by much), attendance (was no point sitting in a corridor) & never handin in punishment exercises (just forgot, literally had a drawer/bag full). Still passed all my exams with highest grades they would let me sit them at....big middle finger to them! My son was similar due to no diagnosis, he's 19 now & daughter gets help she needs. Neice however has been 'told' she hasnt got it by a teacher despite her report card reading like mine...she is getting similar to me & son & we need to sort it for her. What i have had & still do have from some folk especially NT professionals is a lack of understanding in ND adults & differences in parenting styles & especially when those ND adults have children. I.e. i have basic rules in my house like tidy up, don't hurt others, don't waste, try not to wreck it (son is terrible) etc other than that they can do what they like etc. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A question for all you neurodiverse fabbers....is there anything you find particularly challenging when on a meet? Personally my sensory sensitivities can sometimes be an issue. My sense of smell is particularly sensitive so strong perfume and aftershave can be overwhelming. Gazing into someone's eyes for more than 5 seconds is very uncomfortable, and multitasking is nigh on impossible. A 69 just isn't going to be successful...." For me its my consideration span. I get bored very easily and can seem disinterested. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? The first thing I'd like people to know is that the spectrum is not a gradient, with non-verbal at one end and Einstein at the other. Every autistic person will exhibit traits from the 'triad of impairments' in a unique way and just because someone is 'high functioning' doesn't mean they are 'low needs'. Thank you I've looked that up. "These are known as 'the triad of impairments', or 'the three impairments': Social Interaction. ... Social Communication. ... Rigidity of Thinking and Difficulties with Social Imagination"
I'm very rigid with my thinking and can't let things easily if I'm passionate about something or believe I'm right. "I think passion is a good thing. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I worked for 10 fantastically amazing years with children on the spectrum. They taught me so many wonderful things and how there is no wrong way of thinking about school just different better ways I agree with this. Schools and their staff are quite capable of changing what they do to fit in with kids with ASC and very often any changes benefit all the kids. A lot of teaching staff won’t listen or refuse to change. Except when they met pushy parent who knows his stuff me.
This is interesting to me. Most of my friends have taken or kept their kids out of school, because schools cannot and/or will not provide autistic children with the support they require to go. I agree that changes made usually benefit NT as well as ND children.
School was a fucking shit show for me.
Me too, wasn't even allowed in the door of half my classes so i pissed off the the stables & worked/taught riding largely to disabled (physical & mental) people during week actually, NT's were at weekend. Wasn't allowed on trips either due to timekeeping (late always, not by much), attendance (was no point sitting in a corridor) & never handin in punishment exercises (just forgot, literally had a drawer/bag full).
Still passed all my exams with highest grades they would let me sit them at....big middle finger to them!
My son was similar due to no diagnosis, he's 19 now & daughter gets help she needs. Neice however has been 'told' she hasnt got it by a teacher despite her report card reading like mine...she is getting similar to me & son & we need to sort it for her.
What i have had & still do have from some folk especially NT professionals is a lack of understanding in ND adults & differences in parenting styles & especially when those ND adults have children.
I.e. i have basic rules in my house like tidy up, don't hurt others, don't waste, try not to wreck it (son is terrible) etc other than that they can do what they like etc. "I withdrew and shut down. I did well, I rarely got into trouble, but it was deeply emotionally soul destroying. And the only person to blame, apparently, was me. Yeah ok. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A question for all you neurodiverse fabbers....is there anything you find particularly challenging when on a meet? Personally my sensory sensitivities can sometimes be an issue. My sense of smell is particularly sensitive so strong perfume and aftershave can be overwhelming. Gazing into someone's eyes for more than 5 seconds is very uncomfortable, and multitasking is nigh on impossible. A 69 just isn't going to be successful.... For me its my consideration span. I get bored very easily and can seem disinterested." I do this as well. Coupled with the difficulty I have in making eye contact for any length of time and it can come off as rude. Or like I'm really coy/shy. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A question for all you neurodiverse fabbers....is there anything you find particularly challenging when on a meet? Personally my sensory sensitivities can sometimes be an issue. My sense of smell is particularly sensitive so strong perfume and aftershave can be overwhelming. Gazing into someone's eyes for more than 5 seconds is very uncomfortable, and multitasking is nigh on impossible. A 69 just isn't going to be successful.... For me its my consideration span. I get bored very easily and can seem disinterested. I do this as well. Coupled with the difficulty I have in making eye contact for any length of time and it can come off as rude. Or like I'm really coy/shy. "Everyone knows you're the shyest person on fab  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A question for all you neurodiverse fabbers....is there anything you find particularly challenging when on a meet? Personally my sensory sensitivities can sometimes be an issue. My sense of smell is particularly sensitive so strong perfume and aftershave can be overwhelming. Gazing into someone's eyes for more than 5 seconds is very uncomfortable, and multitasking is nigh on impossible. A 69 just isn't going to be successful...." Laughing at this so resonates. You are not going to get much eye contact out of me that’s for sure. I’m not too bad with the multi tasking but I feel crowded and feel like I need space then I often find myself sliding off the bed for a break on the floor. Which can be kind of weird. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
(Mr) | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A question for all you neurodiverse fabbers....is there anything you find particularly challenging when on a meet? Personally my sensory sensitivities can sometimes be an issue. My sense of smell is particularly sensitive so strong perfume and aftershave can be overwhelming. Gazing into someone's eyes for more than 5 seconds is very uncomfortable, and multitasking is nigh on impossible. A 69 just isn't going to be successful.... Laughing at this so resonates. You are not going to get much eye contact out of me that’s for sure. I’m not too bad with the multi tasking but I feel crowded and feel like I need space then I often find myself sliding off the bed for a break on the floor. Which can be kind of weird. " I have an image of you sort of melting off the bed and pooling on the floor.... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think if people accepted each other from the start it would be a lot better. How many run ins and arguments happen due to misunderstandings or simply things being taken the wrong way? To have such a condition in that kind of environment must be very hard going. I don't have such things but I'll try and understand " Thank you x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My nephew & niece both have autism it's clear in their communication with my nephew being the worse of the two. However, this hasn't stopped them doing well and both are very bright he was thinking about doing astrophysics before lockdown. After having a quick look, I'm wondering as ADHD was mentioned at school regarding another nephew and thinking of some of the issues I've had in the past. It would certainly explain some behaviours.
(Mr)"Is it something you'd be interested in investigating? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A question for all you neurodiverse fabbers....is there anything you find particularly challenging when on a meet? Personally my sensory sensitivities can sometimes be an issue. My sense of smell is particularly sensitive so strong perfume and aftershave can be overwhelming. Gazing into someone's eyes for more than 5 seconds is very uncomfortable, and multitasking is nigh on impossible. A 69 just isn't going to be successful.... For me its my consideration span. I get bored very easily and can seem disinterested. I do this as well. Coupled with the difficulty I have in making eye contact for any length of time and it can come off as rude. Or like I'm really coy/shy.
Everyone knows you're the shyest person on fab " Sometimes I do come across that way! I once went to a club night and all the noise and light plus people talking and being so close to me and the newness of it all was a bit overwhelming.
How do you manage your sensory sensitivities on meets? Do you inform people beforehand or just mentally prepare yourself? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think if people accepted each other from the start it would be a lot better. How many run ins and arguments happen due to misunderstandings or simply things being taken the wrong way? To have such a condition in that kind of environment must be very hard going. I don't have such things but I'll try and understand " Thank you. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A question for all you neurodiverse fabbers....is there anything you find particularly challenging when on a meet? Personally my sensory sensitivities can sometimes be an issue. My sense of smell is particularly sensitive so strong perfume and aftershave can be overwhelming. Gazing into someone's eyes for more than 5 seconds is very uncomfortable, and multitasking is nigh on impossible. A 69 just isn't going to be successful.... For me its my consideration span. I get bored very easily and can seem disinterested. I do this as well. Coupled with the difficulty I have in making eye contact for any length of time and it can come off as rude. Or like I'm really coy/shy.
Everyone knows you're the shyest person on fab
Sometimes I do come across that way! I once went to a club night and all the noise and light plus people talking and being so close to me and the newness of it all was a bit overwhelming.
How do you manage your sensory sensitivities on meets? Do you inform people beforehand or just mentally prepare yourself? "I tell people in advance about my aftershave aversion, which has always been met with understanding. The only time the eye contact thing was a problem was when a bloke wanted me to gaze up at him as I was giving him oral. I had to stop and explain that it was nigh on impossible because a. prolonged eye contact is difficult at the best of times and b. I can't give good head when I'm concentrating on looking at his face because that's multitasking. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think if people accepted each other from the start it would be a lot better. How many run ins and arguments happen due to misunderstandings or simply things being taken the wrong way? To have such a condition in that kind of environment must be very hard going. I don't have such things but I'll try and understand Thank you." S'alright | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My nephew & niece both have autism it's clear in their communication with my nephew being the worse of the two. However, this hasn't stopped them doing well and both are very bright he was thinking about doing astrophysics before lockdown. After having a quick look, I'm wondering as ADHD was mentioned at school regarding another nephew and thinking of some of the issues I've had in the past. It would certainly explain some behaviours.
(Mr)
Is it something you'd be interested in investigating? "I think I would as that's at least 3 males on the same side of the family, but I've got other issues at the moment that are more pressing. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My parents were offered a diagnosis in my teens and they refused. (I knew nothing about this) In my teens I would have been an Aspie. I'm now autistic. They are unhappy. What are they unhappy about specifically? The label. They didn't want me to have the label. And autism is "worse", apparently. I sought out the diagnosis myself, and didn't tell them until it was done. I am what I am, and it's liberating to understand. I have a huge issue with the 'label' argument. It's not a label, it's a diagnosis. Glad you were able to do what was right for you "We didn't have family support more widely when Mr KC was going through the process, if you get my drift... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I worked for 10 fantastically amazing years with children on the spectrum. They taught me so many wonderful things and how there is no wrong way of thinking about school just different better ways I agree with this. Schools and their staff are quite capable of changing what they do to fit in with kids with ASC and very often any changes benefit all the kids. A lot of teaching staff won’t listen or refuse to change. Except when they met pushy parent who knows his stuff me.
This is interesting to me. Most of my friends have taken or kept their kids out of school, because schools cannot and/or will not provide autistic children with the support they require to go. I agree that changes made usually benefit NT as well as ND children. if the child has an EHCP they have a legal requirement to meet the needs of the child. "While this is indeed the law, it very rarely happens, amongst my friends at least. And getting a dx/EHCP in the first place can be a monumental task. One of my friends only today was again lamenting the I think 6 year battle she's had to get one of her son's needs met? She's been through hell with it, tribunals et al. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I worked for 10 fantastically amazing years with children on the spectrum. They taught me so many wonderful things and how there is no wrong way of thinking about school just different better ways I agree with this. Schools and their staff are quite capable of changing what they do to fit in with kids with ASC and very often any changes benefit all the kids. A lot of teaching staff won’t listen or refuse to change. Except when they met pushy parent who knows his stuff me.
This is interesting to me. Most of my friends have taken or kept their kids out of school, because schools cannot and/or will not provide autistic children with the support they require to go. I agree that changes made usually benefit NT as well as ND children. if the child has an EHCP they have a legal requirement to meet the needs of the child.
While this is indeed the law, it very rarely happens, amongst my friends at least. And getting a dx/EHCP in the first place can be a monumental task. One of my friends only today was again lamenting the I think 6 year battle she's had to get one of her son's needs met? She's been through hell with it, tribunals et al."it’s all unreasonably difficult. We had to go to tribunal for PIP. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My parents were offered a diagnosis in my teens and they refused. (I knew nothing about this) In my teens I would have been an Aspie. I'm now autistic. They are unhappy. What are they unhappy about specifically? The label. They didn't want me to have the label. And autism is "worse", apparently. I sought out the diagnosis myself, and didn't tell them until it was done. I am what I am, and it's liberating to understand. I have a huge issue with the 'label' argument. It's not a label, it's a diagnosis. Glad you were able to do what was right for you
We didn't have family support more widely when Mr KC was going through the process, if you get my drift..."I bet xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? The first thing I'd like people to know is that the spectrum is not a gradient, with non-verbal at one end and Einstein at the other. Every autistic person will exhibit traits from the 'triad of impairments' in a unique way and just because someone is 'high functioning' doesn't mean they are 'low needs'. Christ yes. So often "high functioning" is mistaken for "doesn't need help". It's more like "is able to hide their autism to not upset the neurotypicals". It's exhausting, I'm doing my best, ffs meet me some of the way. Please." Im having this exact issue with pip atm, because i can walk, read, write & drive....doesnt help my ass from getting sacked or help back in jobs though, being on time, proofreading,help with prep & instructions etc. So far i've been told because im a mum, have hnd & can drive i simple cant have any issues...yeah okay, cos i got my diagnosis from a cereal box & love being told to try harder, focus more, stay still, shut up, stop interupting, correlating subjects sentences & topics in ways others understand, be on time, not loose track of time, not lose things, not forget immediately, being able to force myself to do things it does not want to do, take myself away from a hyperfocus (activity or deep learning over short period of time. I could really do with an adhd cbt/coach but they are all private & i dont have it. Btw. I have no idea why, but my spell check isnt working soz. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My parents were offered a diagnosis in my teens and they refused. (I knew nothing about this) In my teens I would have been an Aspie. I'm now autistic. They are unhappy. What are they unhappy about specifically? The label. They didn't want me to have the label. And autism is "worse", apparently. I sought out the diagnosis myself, and didn't tell them until it was done. I am what I am, and it's liberating to understand. I have a huge issue with the 'label' argument. It's not a label, it's a diagnosis. Glad you were able to do what was right for you
We didn't have family support more widely when Mr KC was going through the process, if you get my drift..."I do. When I first started pursuing a diagnosis my family were embarrassed and thought I was seeing problems where there were none and generally making a fuss. Then I got it and they suddenly changed their attitudes and became supportive, my mum even seeking out her own. I needed that support from the beginning though, which they couldn't bring themselves to provide. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I tell people in advance about my aftershave aversion, which has always been met with understanding. The only time the eye contact thing was a problem was when a bloke wanted me to gaze up at him as I was giving him oral. I had to stop and explain that it was nigh on impossible because a. prolonged eye contact is difficult at the best of times and b. I can't give good head when I'm concentrating on looking at his face because that's multitasking. " Those reasons are perfectly logical. Maybe blindfolds? I did that with my last strictly Fab meet and framed it as a sort of kinky thing because his stare was really intense and he really liked lots of eye contact. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I tell people in advance about my aftershave aversion, which has always been met with understanding. The only time the eye contact thing was a problem was when a bloke wanted me to gaze up at him as I was giving him oral. I had to stop and explain that it was nigh on impossible because a. prolonged eye contact is difficult at the best of times and b. I can't give good head when I'm concentrating on looking at his face because that's multitasking. Those reasons are perfectly logical. Maybe blindfolds? I did that with my last strictly Fab meet and framed it as a sort of kinky thing because his stare was really intense and he really liked lots of eye contact. "That's brilliant! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My parents were offered a diagnosis in my teens and they refused. (I knew nothing about this) In my teens I would have been an Aspie. I'm now autistic. They are unhappy. What are they unhappy about specifically? The label. They didn't want me to have the label. And autism is "worse", apparently. I sought out the diagnosis myself, and didn't tell them until it was done. I am what I am, and it's liberating to understand. I have a huge issue with the 'label' argument. It's not a label, it's a diagnosis. Glad you were able to do what was right for you
We didn't have family support more widely when Mr KC was going through the process, if you get my drift...
I do. When I first started pursuing a diagnosis my family were embarrassed and thought I was seeing problems where there were none and generally making a fuss. Then I got it and they suddenly changed their attitudes and became supportive, my mum even seeking out her own. I needed that support from the beginning though, which they couldn't bring themselves to provide."We stopped at the first bit (fuss). The irony is that the least supportive person was, at that time, a TA who worked mainly with children with additional needs, including autism, ADHD and the like  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A question for all you neurodiverse fabbers....is there anything you find particularly challenging when on a meet? Personally my sensory sensitivities can sometimes be an issue. My sense of smell is particularly sensitive so strong perfume and aftershave can be overwhelming. Gazing into someone's eyes for more than 5 seconds is very uncomfortable, and multitasking is nigh on impossible. A 69 just isn't going to be successful.... For me its my consideration span. I get bored very easily and can seem disinterested." Totally,can prevent you fully enjoying it too. Other one i have is my hyperness, my mouth is worst & goes million miles per hours & just try keep up with subject & recognise the connections between the related subject
Other is more mysogonistic based, i like puzzles, i like physically learning, i like to take things apart, fix em & rebuild, stripping cars & rebuilding myself, largely by hand. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Another mum of a young one with ASD here. * waves to everybody *" hello! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? The first thing I'd like people to know is that the spectrum is not a gradient, with non-verbal at one end and Einstein at the other. Every autistic person will exhibit traits from the 'triad of impairments' in a unique way and just because someone is 'high functioning' doesn't mean they are 'low needs'. Christ yes. So often "high functioning" is mistaken for "doesn't need help". It's more like "is able to hide their autism to not upset the neurotypicals". It's exhausting, I'm doing my best, ffs meet me some of the way. Please. Im having this exact issue with pip atm, because i can walk, read, write & drive....doesnt help my ass from getting sacked or help back in jobs though, being on time, proofreading,help with prep & instructions etc. So far i've been told because im a mum, have hnd & can drive i simple cant have any issues...yeah okay, cos i got my diagnosis from a cereal box & love being told to try harder, focus more, stay still, shut up, stop interupting, correlating subjects sentences & topics in ways others understand, be on time, not loose track of time, not lose things, not forget immediately, being able to force myself to do things it does not want to do, take myself away from a hyperfocus (activity or deep learning over short period of time. I could really do with an adhd cbt/coach but they are all private & i dont have it. Btw. I have no idea why, but my spell check isnt working soz. " Being able to drive as a reason NOT to award PIP can be kicked out at tribunal - have you got professional help with it? They will quote case law and you can get those dismissed. Loads of ‘disabled’ people can drive. And are mums. One doesn’t preclude the other. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I worked for 10 fantastically amazing years with children on the spectrum. They taught me so many wonderful things and how there is no wrong way of thinking about school just different better ways I agree with this. Schools and their staff are quite capable of changing what they do to fit in with kids with ASC and very often any changes benefit all the kids. A lot of teaching staff won’t listen or refuse to change. Except when they met pushy parent who knows his stuff me.
This is interesting to me. Most of my friends have taken or kept their kids out of school, because schools cannot and/or will not provide autistic children with the support they require to go. I agree that changes made usually benefit NT as well as ND children."We have been lucky with our gson. Hi school has trained teachers and equipment for autism including a light sensory room and purpose built garden where kids can retreat. They recognized his autism the moment he started school. We also had suspicions. With school help he was very quickly diagnosed and now gets lots of support from school and family. He has missed out on speech therapy due to covid so this year he has lost out on much needed help | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I worked for 10 fantastically amazing years with children on the spectrum. They taught me so many wonderful things and how there is no wrong way of thinking about school just different better ways I agree with this. Schools and their staff are quite capable of changing what they do to fit in with kids with ASC and very often any changes benefit all the kids. A lot of teaching staff won’t listen or refuse to change. Except when they met pushy parent who knows his stuff me.
This is interesting to me. Most of my friends have taken or kept their kids out of school, because schools cannot and/or will not provide autistic children with the support they require to go. I agree that changes made usually benefit NT as well as ND children.
School was a fucking shit show for me.
Me too, wasn't even allowed in the door of half my classes so i pissed off the the stables & worked/taught riding largely to disabled (physical & mental) people during week actually, NT's were at weekend. Wasn't allowed on trips either due to timekeeping (late always, not by much), attendance (was no point sitting in a corridor) & never handin in punishment exercises (just forgot, literally had a drawer/bag full).
Still passed all my exams with highest grades they would let me sit them at....big middle finger to them!
My son was similar due to no diagnosis, he's 19 now & daughter gets help she needs. Neice however has been 'told' she hasnt got it by a teacher despite her report card reading like mine...she is getting similar to me & son & we need to sort it for her.
What i have had & still do have from some folk especially NT professionals is a lack of understanding in ND adults & differences in parenting styles & especially when those ND adults have children.
I.e. i have basic rules in my house like tidy up, don't hurt others, don't waste, try not to wreck it (son is terrible) etc other than that they can do what they like etc.
I withdrew and shut down. I did well, I rarely got into trouble, but it was deeply emotionally soul destroying. And the only person to blame, apparently, was me.
Yeah ok."defo not you! though I was blamed for all that went wrong with me too. for me other than an incident with pencil, hand, chair & teacher (auto reaction to harm) I got into trouble for talking mainly or fidgeting, nothing majorly disruptive and still got excluded from activities. I think I had a much harder time with peers, I was in fights a lot, none of which I started, mostly cos someone else had claimed I'd said or did something I didn't. looking back on it I wonder if they had bets on over it as it was so frequent. that's another bit of the ADHD a heightened fight/flight/freeze/fawn response, mine largely leans to fight, it's not even a thought to hit back if I'm hit, and doesn't matter who or what size either. I do have a defiance that is something else, my daughter is official diagnosed with a defiance and compliance disorder, think she took that from me. I left school at 15, pregnant (was on pill long before, no weight gain & regular periods for 7 mths!) even my body defied it was pregnant until it really couldn't!! 
My child was then the main focus and god knows how many times I've been treatened with social work to take my kids cos I won't let them tell me how to raise my kids, I wasn't doing it wrong, just different add mum + kids have adhd and the kids issues get put on me a lot of the time. Funny thing is I'm stricter than most parents! I will not take no for an answer.
that's causing some issues with my daughter atm & school. both defiant, both loud, she doesn't want to, I'm not going to have child ruling the roast(yes, I have tried all the usual tacts, my son's 19 & got him through school eventually). It's not the school or the activities, it's the getting up & out the door on time. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? " Parents who don't have children with autism, please teach your beautiful kids that ours are the same as yours, they just want to play and laugh, be included, accepted, validated and have a place in the community just like your. Please teach them that differences are to cherish and are harmless. Many thanks for this post OP | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Being able to drive as a reason NOT to award PIP can be kicked out at tribunal - have you got professional help with it? They will quote case law and you can get those dismissed. Loads of ‘disabled’ people can drive. And are mums. One doesn’t preclude the other. " Yup. I'm a mum and I drive, but I had to get my car adapted and now I have a hand operated clutch. It was partly funded by Access to Work but I funded the rest myself. I can't be arsed claiming for PIP for this very reason - I really can't be faffed arguing and fighting. I fund my mobility equipment myself because I don't qualify for NHS wheelchair services. It's lucky my employer has been supportive, adapted my work and so I can afford to fund my own equipment rather than need PIP. Obviously that's not the case for lots of people and it's disgusting that it's such a difficult thing to apply for. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I worked for 10 fantastically amazing years with children on the spectrum. They taught me so many wonderful things and how there is no wrong way of thinking about school just different better ways I agree with this. Schools and their staff are quite capable of changing what they do to fit in with kids with ASC and very often any changes benefit all the kids. A lot of teaching staff won’t listen or refuse to change. Except when they met pushy parent who knows his stuff me.
This is interesting to me. Most of my friends have taken or kept their kids out of school, because schools cannot and/or will not provide autistic children with the support they require to go. I agree that changes made usually benefit NT as well as ND children. if the child has an EHCP they have a legal requirement to meet the needs of the child. " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Being able to drive as a reason NOT to award PIP can be kicked out at tribunal - have you got professional help with it? They will quote case law and you can get those dismissed. Loads of ‘disabled’ people can drive. And are mums. One doesn’t preclude the other. Yup. I'm a mum and I drive, but I had to get my car adapted and now I have a hand operated clutch. It was partly funded by Access to Work but I funded the rest myself. I can't be arsed claiming for PIP for this very reason - I really can't be faffed arguing and fighting. I fund my mobility equipment myself because I don't qualify for NHS wheelchair services. It's lucky my employer has been supportive, adapted my work and so I can afford to fund my own equipment rather than need PIP. Obviously that's not the case for lots of people and it's disgusting that it's such a difficult thing to apply for." F-ing dogshit! They look for any reason not to award it. I come across PIP in my job a lot and they just treat everyone like they are fraudulent. I'm gonna go look at that big cocks thread before I get too pissed off | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? The first thing I'd like people to know is that the spectrum is not a gradient, with non-verbal at one end and Einstein at the other. Every autistic person will exhibit traits from the 'triad of impairments' in a unique way and just because someone is 'high functioning' doesn't mean they are 'low needs'. Christ yes. So often "high functioning" is mistaken for "doesn't need help". It's more like "is able to hide their autism to not upset the neurotypicals". It's exhausting, I'm doing my best, ffs meet me some of the way. Please. Im having this exact issue with pip atm, because i can walk, read, write & drive....doesnt help my ass from getting sacked or help back in jobs though, being on time, proofreading,help with prep & instructions etc. So far i've been told because im a mum, have hnd & can drive i simple cant have any issues...yeah okay, cos i got my diagnosis from a cereal box & love being told to try harder, focus more, stay still, shut up, stop interupting, correlating subjects sentences & topics in ways others understand, be on time, not loose track of time, not lose things, not forget immediately, being able to force myself to do things it does not want to do, take myself away from a hyperfocus (activity or deep learning over short period of time. I could really do with an adhd cbt/coach but they are all private & i dont have it. Btw. I have no idea why, but my spell check isnt working soz. Being able to drive as a reason NOT to award PIP can be kicked out at tribunal - have you got professional help with it? They will quote case law and you can get those dismissed. Loads of ‘disabled’ people can drive. And are mums. One doesn’t preclude the other. " I haven't no, but really they have no standing with me as I work alongside NHS in regards to ADHD community. tbh I could still do with a hand & case law I have none of. I do have issues with communications which could very well fault me, either being misunderstood (again, like trying to explain impulsive spending on spontaneous trips leads to debt..they think I just want gov to pay of debts...hmm no, I've got the c/card companies over a barrel for on irresponsible lending.) I'm much better on phone than in person yet still misunderstood due to speed or intent. they basically didn't understand a word I said or at least not why I was saying it. It is going to tribunal, had notification of that already. I know 'cos I passed my test with ADHD and unmediated ...took me 6 times as I get overwhelmed trying to 'prove' myself in front of others and mentally flap, did give me those extra hours with instructor not flapping to hone and develop my skills...that good I raced a mx5 & rx8 in a car park 8 mths after passing, and can park in a trolley bay...used to be a challenge for me & friends to see who could fit their cars through the tightest gaps. I also treat my car like is a killing machine/tool so I make that the focus to be uber aware of others when driving....its the mental difference that keeps me & others safe, especially since it's big & solid framed, unless it's an artic lorry or similar, the other car & its occupants will come off worse always than I & mine....damn thing makes lampposts wave with a tap from gearbox catch (automatic park position), rocks forward/back to catch gear & stop rolling away). and a mum since 15, he's 19 now, works, pays bills, has a LD GF, he's doing okay. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Being able to drive as a reason NOT to award PIP can be kicked out at tribunal - have you got professional help with it? They will quote case law and you can get those dismissed. Loads of ‘disabled’ people can drive. And are mums. One doesn’t preclude the other. Yup. I'm a mum and I drive, but I had to get my car adapted and now I have a hand operated clutch. It was partly funded by Access to Work but I funded the rest myself. I can't be arsed claiming for PIP for this very reason - I really can't be faffed arguing and fighting. I fund my mobility equipment myself because I don't qualify for NHS wheelchair services. It's lucky my employer has been supportive, adapted my work and so I can afford to fund my own equipment rather than need PIP. Obviously that's not the case for lots of people and it's disgusting that it's such a difficult thing to apply for. F-ing dogshit! They look for any reason not to award it. I come across PIP in my job a lot and they just treat everyone like they are fraudulent. I'm gonna go look at that big cocks thread before I get too pissed off " I've never applied for it because I've been put off by the experiences of my wheelchair basketball colleagues who really do need to apply. A man who lost a leg who needs to continually prove his condition because apparently losing a leg might be temporary, for example? A man who has never ever been able to walk has to continually have assessments to prove he hasn't suddenly been granted the ability to walk in his 48th year of life. Etc. I'm in the fortune position of not needing to apply so I don't. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Being able to drive as a reason NOT to award PIP can be kicked out at tribunal - have you got professional help with it? They will quote case law and you can get those dismissed. Loads of ‘disabled’ people can drive. And are mums. One doesn’t preclude the other. Yup. I'm a mum and I drive, but I had to get my car adapted and now I have a hand operated clutch. It was partly funded by Access to Work but I funded the rest myself. I can't be arsed claiming for PIP for this very reason - I really can't be faffed arguing and fighting. I fund my mobility equipment myself because I don't qualify for NHS wheelchair services. It's lucky my employer has been supportive, adapted my work and so I can afford to fund my own equipment rather than need PIP. Obviously that's not the case for lots of people and it's disgusting that it's such a difficult thing to apply for. F-ing dogshit! They look for any reason not to award it. I come across PIP in my job a lot and they just treat everyone like they are fraudulent. I'm gonna go look at that big cocks thread before I get too pissed off " Absolutely! I was astounded by what the wrote in fake i'll find it & quote it to show just how disgusting it is I'm a Capricorn, combine that with the ADHD defiance and you're on! that with the fact I have to for the other I also support. Feck yeah could do with a good fight for a good reason! problem is I either shut down when the ask me to talk, I have ptsd which involves cops & courts aka the system or I'll reduce them to dust for their stupid thinking and discriminatory ways. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? Parents who don't have children with autism, please teach your beautiful kids that ours are the same as yours, they just want to play and laugh, be included, accepted, validated and have a place in the community just like your. Please teach them that differences are to cherish and are harmless. Many thanks for this post OP "The trouble with parents teaching their kids about autism is most parents unless they have problems with their own children don't understand autism themselves. My son had one issue where my gson was accused of biting a girl in class. My son was approached by the girls parents outside school shouting abuse at my son saying my gson is a nasty child and butter wouldn't melt in his beautiful little girls mouth. Fortunately cameras and a teacher seen the incident and it clearly shows nothing happened. Parents automatically acuse other kids as most are ignorant to other children's issues. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you wish that people knew about autism? Parents who don't have children with autism, please teach your beautiful kids that ours are the same as yours, they just want to play and laugh, be included, accepted, validated and have a place in the community just like your. Please teach them that differences are to cherish and are harmless. Many thanks for this post OP
The trouble with parents teaching their kids about autism is most parents unless they have problems with their own children don't understand autism themselves.
My son had one issue where my gson was accused of biting a girl in class.
My son was approached by the girls parents outside school shouting abuse at my son saying my gson is a nasty child and butter wouldn't melt in his beautiful little girls mouth.
Fortunately cameras and a teacher seen the incident and it clearly shows nothing happened.
Parents automatically acuse other kids as most are ignorant to other children's issues. "where as I answer the phone and go 'Okay, what has happened now?' and I'll admit when she's in wrong like yesterday she wanted to be alone, friend wanted her to play, went from wanting to play to kicking in groin & hair pulling...daughter was told stright you lift you hands/feet I'd expect to be hit back so don't cry bout something YOU started! especially not over someone trying to be your friend, if it was an issue get a teacher or ask to go to chill room. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Oh hello! There seems to be a lot of us that are neuro-diverse. I knew I liked it here." There is indeed
Welcome. X | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I can only urge anyone to look this up, it might be of benefit. I would prefer not to go into detail on personal matters. Please consider that I would not have made a contribution without insight." It appears to be a programme aimed at dyslexia that has, at best, weak evidence for its efficacy. Autism is not dyslexia. By recommending a "therapy", are you suggesting we should be trying to find "cures"? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I can only urge anyone to look this up, it might be of benefit. I would prefer not to go into detail on personal matters. Please consider that I would not have made a contribution without insight. It appears to be a programme aimed at dyslexia that has, at best, weak evidence for its efficacy. Autism is not dyslexia. By recommending a "therapy", are you suggesting we should be trying to find "cures"?" I was just about to type something similar. I actually don't want to be "cured" I'm ok being me. Yes I have challenges and some id rather not face but I'm happy with who I am and live my best life. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hey all, I don’t have autism or have any family members living with autism either... I have had the pleasure to work with some families and children, and I simply will say you are all superhero’s and I hope the struggles have not been too great during this lockdown with so many changes. "Thank you. Lockdown has been a huge challenge for me. I don't cope at all with sudden change and uncertainty so its been hard but iv got through. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
