FabSwingers.com forum: Film cliches they need to bin!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The tech guy who can miraculously enhance a grainy image, filmed on a potato, zoom in so that you can see the suspects reflection in the victims sunglasses. Plus they never press ‘ENTER

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Training montages

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Training montages

With uptempo music.

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By *razzyhorseMan
over a year ago

cambridge

The moment someone says "let's split up...."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK maybe this is just me and my fanny flaps but why in movies when two people have sex does the dick always go straight in like she's got the Grand Canyon down there?? 1 second and BAM he's deep inside her pounding away!

Surely that doesn't happen? Unless you're fucking absolutely soaked!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OK maybe this is just me and my fanny flaps but why in movies when two people have sex does the dick always go straight in like she's got the Grand Canyon down there?? 1 second and BAM he's deep inside her pounding away!

Surely that doesn't happen? Unless you're fucking absolutely soaked! "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Surely that doesn't happen? Unless you're fucking absolutely soaked! "

Just once the leading man should slip it in and hit the perineum full on and the woman shout ‘You fucking idiot, back it up and have another go!’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Russian henchmen. - playing cards with vodka bottles on the table.

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

Laying rolled up in sheets all sweaty and sexy after sex.

Where is the waddle to the toilet holding the guys boxes between your eggs trying not to leave a snail trail?

No one getting pulled over for speeding.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Henchmen waiting their turn to get beat up

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

All she needs to do is take her glasses off and let her hair down to morph into the love interest

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Kent

"Laying rolled up in sheets all sweaty and sexy after sex.

Where is the waddle to the toilet holding the guys boxes between your eggs trying not to leave a snail trail?

No one getting pulled over for speeding. "

Hahaha.....why does that resonate so well in my minds eye

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Bad guys always losing.

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By *evil-AngelWoman
over a year ago

...

"Laying rolled up in sheets all sweaty and sexy after sex.

Where is the waddle to the toilet holding the guys boxes between your eggs trying not to leave a snail trail?

And with perfect hair and makeup as well

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

Baddies spaying hundreds of bullets all over the place and miraculously missing the good guys/gals, followed by the good guys/gals firing 20-30 shots from an 7-8 round pistol with 100% accuracy, even at long range.

Guns never suffering jams or misfires and never needing to be reloaded during shoot-outs.

Previously killed off characters being resurrected for future sequels.

Baddies who do needlessly evil things like kill their henchmen at the drop of a hat, or drown kittens and puppies in the river, for no other reason that to show how evilly evil they are.

Whoever the main male and female characters are in a story falling in love by the end or finishing on a romantic kiss... regardless of what the actual genre of the film is or what the main story is about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bad guys always losing."

Not to give spoilers. I could name a few films that break the norm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Explosions not the same in real life.

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

Women generally.. harking back to the 70's..

Princess Leia/ Wonder Woman/ Ripley

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

They never nip to tescos for a packet of fags

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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago

C'est moi Boudoir

Tame bedroom talk! If that was how everyone talked nobody would be getting laid

And what's with the sheet over them the following morning...maybe I am just a brazen foul mouthed hussy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Computer geeks in films can break into any system in under a minute while sipping coffee, all the time reflecting of their glasses green text scrolls across, they then shout ‘I’m in!’ And everyone then walks over and leans in, oh, also they always wear a cool band T shirt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No matter how fast the scantily-clad and terrified teenager runs, the slowly-lumbering murderer always catches up with her.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

"No matter how fast the scantily-clad and terrified teenager runs, the slowly-lumbering murderer always catches up with her.

All you gotta do to get away from Michael myers is walk faster than him...always made me laugh that

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Americans as the good guys.

Aussie kids that foil the bad guys.

Forgotten birthdays.

High schools with no bags to carry books and folders.

Every teenager driving. No one fails the test.

All teen girls are cheer leaders. They don't do any sports

No car can go around corners.

All shots of Paris have to show the tower.

Girls and women don't go fishing.

Computer geeks never use mice.

The printer never, ever jams: well the one in Red Dwarf did!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No matter how fast the scantily-clad and terrified teenager runs, the slowly-lumbering murderer always catches up with her.

All you gotta do to get away from Michael myers is walk faster than him...always made me laugh that "

And as for Scooby Doo.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People doing phone calls all wrong and just hanging up without saying "Ok Barbara I'll let you go now, you take care of yourself. Bye, yes bye, bye bye now".

Cars exploding after a crash.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anybody turning up to a flight brief wearing a cowboy hat.

They would have his or her wings pulled on the spot.

Ruined the otherwise perfectly accurate Top Gun movie for me.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Fat people being the funny friend or comedy relief.

Although I am fucking funny to be fair

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Jason Bourne jumping out of a fith floor window and now breaking any bones.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Visiting Blackpool

After a couple have sex there's no wiping, there's no fluids

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Anybody turning up to a flight brief wearing a cowboy hat.

They would have his or her wings pulled on the spot.

Ruined the otherwise perfectly accurate Top Gun movie for me."

I thought that was a documentary that programme ?

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By *offee27Man
over a year ago

Wiltshire

I'm starving says one character.

Next scene they are sat in front of a full plate chatting and sipping wine and not scoffing like they've been fasting for Lent

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"People doing phone calls all wrong and just hanging up without saying "Ok Barbara I'll let you go now, you take care of yourself. Bye, yes bye, bye bye now".

Cars exploding after a crash."

Unless they’re from Devon, cause everyone just puts the phone down once they’ve got the information required, which is usually what goes on first, the jam or the cream.

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Very rare they shoot the tyres out on cars to stop them ...just spray the car completely......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The morning after, her hair looks like she's just been to the hairdressers before he woke, she seems unusually gifted to not have the 'fingers in a plug socket' hairdo

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

Teenagers coming downstairs in the morning to a full spread for breakfast and nibbling one corner of a piece of toast then shooting off to get to school early

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Teenagers coming downstairs in the morning to a full spread for breakfast and nibbling one corner of a piece of toast then shooting off to get to school early "

Yeah, the housewife’s in films make lavish breakfast’s, only for every member of her family to take one bite of toast and a gulp of coffee or orange juice, then grab their things and rush out the door saying ‘Gotta go Mum, I’m running late!’ The husband will say ‘Me too honey!’ Not once will she kick off saying why the fuck do I bother.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After sex or the following morning, the female always gets out of bed covering herself with the bedsheet

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

Walking in through the front door and not closing it.

Two people chatting in the front of the car - the driver always looks at his passenger for far too long. In the real world, if you took your eyes off of the road for that long you'd be wrapped around a lamppost in the blink of an eye

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Every grocery bag in a film is made of brown paper and has a baguette sticking out, usually next to some herbs, probably parsley.

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By *oxyVikingCouple
over a year ago

East Anglia

"Laying rolled up in sheets all sweaty and sexy after sex.

Where is the waddle to the toilet holding the guys boxes between your eggs trying not to leave a snail trail?

No one getting pulled over for speeding. "

This made me absolutely roar with laughter. I’m picturing the walk

Freya

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Man making a woman dinner,always chopping a red pepper.

Woman making man dinner, always sipping a red sauce to check the flavour.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Eating Thai food from those cartons with chopsticks.

No one in the real world can use chopsticks.

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By *irenGuy70Man
over a year ago

Cirencester

In car chases, the protagonist always seems to be changing up gears like they've got a 28-speed gearbox.

Talking dogs... and mice for that matter.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That one guy you haven’t seen in the film up until he says ‘Sir, you’d better take a look at this!’ and then you never see him again.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

No erections ever seen, whether in a sexual or other scene.

Really annoying bratty American kids

Groups that don't stay together when a serial killer is loose.

Group fight scenes against the goody, each baddy gets a light knock, tripped over etc and are out of the attack, as others take turns, the light slaps the others got seemingly causing severe disablement.

Unnecessary romances, not needed for the plot

Almost all personality types are clichéd. Lame!

Any global catastrophes always pan to Big Ben, Eiffel Tower, Kremlin, etc not some important other places, such as Nuneaton, Wakefield etc.

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By *inell1Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

3 bad guys going up against one hero and they attack one at a time rather than piling on him and beating the shit out of him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No erections ever seen, whether in a sexual or other scene.

Really annoying bratty American kids

Groups that don't stay together when a serial killer is loose.

Unnecessary romances, not needed for the plot

Almost all personality types are clichéd. Lame!

Any global catastrophes always pan to Big Ben, Eiffel Tower, Kremlin, etc not some important other places, such as Nuneaton, Wakefield etc. "

Any film shot in Paris has the Eiffel Tower in the back ground, just in case you didn’t know it was Paris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"3 bad guys going up against one hero and they attack one at a time rather than piling on him and beating the shit out of him"

I've always thought this... why do they take it in turns???

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Happy endings.

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

"Happy endings."

The End

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

New temporary teacher is brought in to the projects to help a class that is deemed unteachable, at first they don’t like him/ her but then they turn it around when they show faith in them, even though they’ve done nothing to earn this faith, they all go on to get A grades and high powered jobs.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

The female lead always goes back to her snowy, cold town at Christmas to save her family business and falls in love with the bad guy who is trying to buy it out.

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Do bar stools still break when smashed on someone's back during a brawl? This happened a lot in the 80s but I think they may be sturdier nowadays.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

The black guy always dies first.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Do bar stools still break when smashed on someone's back during a brawl? This happened a lot in the 80s but I think they may be sturdier nowadays."

I've seen one get smashed over someone's head. They don't break.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Every bar scene with dudes involves them ordering two beers, the bar keep will not ask to clarify which brand or if they want them in a glasses, then hand them two non specific bottled beers that they immediately sip out of them without question.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Every bar scene with dudes involves them ordering two beers, the bar keep will not ask to clarify which brand or if they want them in a glasses, then hand them two non specific bottled beers that they immediately sip out of them without question.

That's because American beer/lager tastes the same.

Bud/Coors/Miller are the only beers available.

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

The amount of cardboard boxes that seem to litter the streets of America for v8 powerd cars to smash into

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

If the good guy falls out of a high window there's always a skip filled with boxes or a mattress to break his fall.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If the good guy falls out of a high window there's always a skip filled with boxes or a mattress to break his fall.

Or an Awnings they slide down onto the pavement

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Whisky drinking detective, chain smoking his way through his current divorce.

School kids always in uniform, even when it's 10pm .

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By *razzyhorseMan
over a year ago

cambridge

"If the good guy falls out of a high window there's always a skip filled with boxes or a mattress to break his fall.

Or theres a truck driving past which he miraculously falls into and cushions his landing.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"If the good guy falls out of a high window there's always a skip filled with boxes or a mattress to break his fall.

Or theres a truck driving past which he miraculously falls into and cushions his landing. "

No one ever falls off.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

People on telly never seem to go to the Job Centre, when they haven't worked for ages.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Nobody is ever very real. They don't have duff days, or regular clumsy stuff going on, unless it's part of the plot. People are regular film characters, rather than regular real people.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

All diners have female waiting staff.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Not so much a cliche but whenever they show any international capital or major city, they always subtitle it; City, Country.

Who doesn’t know where Paris, Munich, Berlin or London are?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In action films, like 007 for example, Mr Bond can take out countless henchman/bad guys no problem - one shot kills, right on target. But when it comes to the main villain, he will empty clips and miss. Does he lose his nerve or something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The shark getting killed at the end

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Action heroes having a pointless sex scene with the ‘hot’ female lead, just to demonstrate how masculine they are

(But apparently same sex relationships are ‘shoved down people’s throats’)

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Not so much a cliche but whenever they show any international capital or major city, they always subtitle it; City, Country.

Who doesn’t know where Paris, Munich, Berlin or London are?!"

Paris is in Texas, right?

And it always snows at Christmas. Unless of course Eastenders had decided no to do snow, then Corrie or Emmerdale will follow suit. Broken snow machine perhapes?

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"The shark getting killed at the end "

Is that a Finding Nemo spoiler?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Walking into abandoned, run down buildings and flicking the light switch up and down like they’re tapping out a morse code signal.

Meanwhile, back at Scottish Power HQ, Dave, head of abandoned buildings, shouts out “power up Trev, we have lift off”as he rubs his hands gleefully at being able to send out a random bill for £0.25 after 30 years of nothing.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Not so much a cliche but whenever they show any international capital or major city, they always subtitle it; City, Country.

Who doesn’t know where Paris, Munich, Berlin or London are?!

Paris is in Texas, right?

And it always snows at Christmas. Unless of course Eastenders had decided no to do snow, then Corrie or Emmerdale will follow suit. Broken snow machine perhapes?"

If you can’t tell the difference between a major European capital and Texas, there’s still a problem...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When using a taxi, no one waits to hear the cost, just pulls any money out from their wallet, hands it over and never waits for any change.

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By *ackdaw52Man
over a year ago

Chesterfield

Plane tickets that come in an envelope.

I've been all over and I've never been issued with plane tickets.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Walking into abandoned, run down buildings and flicking the light switch up and down like they’re tapping out a morse code signal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They only ever fuck in missionary or up against a wall.

No legs wrapped round his neck or doggy style in the middle of the bed..

No fumbling for a condom, wrestling with the wrapper trying to get the bloody thing open..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They only ever fuck in missionary or up against a wall.

No legs wrapped round his neck or doggy style in the middle of the bed..

No fumbling for a condom, wrestling with the wrapper trying to get the bloody thing open..

Never see them trying the wheelbarrow position.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Plane tickets that come in an envelope.

I've been all over and I've never been issued with plane tickets.

Or chasing the love interest through airport security without being ploughed down by 25 airport security guards screaming “GET ON THE FLOOR NOW” before tasering your nipples..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When a man asks a woman out on a date, she says yes and they part with a whimsical smile, never organising a date, a time or an agreed location.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

The speccy dude is always smoking hot when he takes off his glasses.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

There’s always someone at the door but it’s never Hermes, but someone who wants a shag or to murder you or tell you they love you using placards and a tape deck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The speccy dude is always smoking hot when he takes off his glasses.

It’s the same with the nerdy girl who wears glasses, then gets a make over for a prom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attractive guy stalking a girl and instead of "I'm calling the police now you creepy fucker!" It's all "how romantic that you've broken into my room to watch me sleep!". Twilight has a lot to answer for

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

What fucks me off is.

Man asks woman out, she says yes, he says 8 o'clock but they never say what day or where!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Attractive guy stalking a girl and instead of "I'm calling the police now you creepy fucker!" It's all "how romantic that you've broken into my room to watch me sleep!". Twilight has a lot to answer for

*tears up operation ‘pixie’ blueprints *

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*tears up operation ‘pixie’ blueprints *"

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By *rambuie100Man
over a year ago

essex/suffolk border

See a knife wielding manic... outside to safety ?, or run upstairs ? I know, off to Bedfordshire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://youtu.be/pjk7QVMMgZs

Funny horror cliche handled.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grenades that throw people 10 foot up in the air.

5 minutes of big self felating studio logos.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cars always inadvertently develop an otherwise unknown problem that prevent them starting first time when the main character needs to get away from the enemy quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the wife lays out this amazing breakfast spread and the stupid husband with bad time management takes a bite of toast and fucks off for a busy day at the office

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

The basket ball that finds the net, with three seconds to go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody ever needs the loo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Walking into abandoned, run down buildings and flicking the light switch up and down like they’re tapping out a morse code signal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The British always plays a bad guy

And why do these seemingly intelligent women run off into the woods when being chased by a serial killer and they always fall over

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Nobody ever needs the loo. "

And when they rarely do, it's never to change their tampon or have a poop.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Airplane scenes are always in huge planes with loads of legroom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bad guys actually being able to shoot a target

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nobody ever needs the loo. "

Accept in The Nice Guys, one really funny scene in a toilet cubicle!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Nobody ever needs the loo. "

After Trainspotting, I wonder why?

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Not so much a cliche but whenever they show any international capital or major city, they always subtitle it; City, Country.

Who doesn’t know where Paris, Munich, Berlin or London are?!

Paris is in Texas, right?

And it always snows at Christmas. Unless of course Eastenders had decided no to do snow, then Corrie or Emmerdale will follow suit. Broken snow machine perhapes?

If you can’t tell the difference between a major European capital and Texas, there’s still a problem...

In the blizzards, they all look the bloody same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That Will does not need to be shot at in every film

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Men always get to drive in car chases

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't get me started with film Police!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Sean Bean death scenes in almost everything he does: yes I know there is a site based on this already.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"When the wife lays out this amazing breakfast spread and the stupid husband with bad time management takes a bite of toast and fucks off for a busy day at the office

And if he spills something down his tie his wife just tuts lovingly and produces a freshly laundered one from thin air. We all know the correct response would be “For gods sake Lionel, that was a clean tie just back from the dry cleaners!!!” whilst her right eye twitches manically because Lionel really does her tits in.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"When the wife lays out this amazing breakfast spread and the stupid husband with bad time management takes a bite of toast and fucks off for a busy day at the office

Sounds like Butterflies to me.

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By *hilledGuerillaMan
over a year ago

In the monkey house

Digital timers on bombs.

Car chases where the cars have about 6 million gears.

Infinite capacity magazines on guns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

... he was 3 days away from retirement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Digital timers on bombs.

Car chases where the cars have about 6 million gears.

Infinite capacity magazines on guns. "

True no reloads

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

People firing accurately on full auto with assault rifles, doesn't happen in real life and you'd get through all your ammo in a minute.

Lead characters taking an absolute beating but are still able to fight with speed and agility afterwards. And when someone is surrounded by a gang of goons but they only attack one at a time, rather than all piling in and getting the upper hand.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Bombs that can be diffused, with perfect wiring colour schemes.

NYC cabbies called Mikey

Middle class female toffs, who have boy's names. Fred, George, Billie that sort of thing.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I'm not watching any of the films you guys would be making. I can watch Domestic Drudgery and the Dullest Day Ever just by sitting in my own living room

Would someone just think of the escapism for one god darned cottonpickin' minute?!

Oh, and can I add - space stuff like asteroids or whatever that can be deflected by one heroic man in stonewashed jeans, helped by a dude who can tap out Morse code on his replaced knee?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The guy/girl chasing someone they let go, to an airport and catching them as the plane is about to take off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fires going like a bastard in hollywood houses/buildings that don't seem to give off any level heat to impede our hero who also has perfect visibility as there is no little or no smoke.

Fact:

Fire hot.

Visibility pretty much fuck all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bullet proof car doors that the good guys hide behind

1. It’s thin metal they go straight through

2. No bullets actually go under the car door the good guy is hiding behind

3. In fact no bullets go under the car

4. The cars do not really explode like they do in films

Lots more

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By *uyfrombristolMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"Americans as the good guys.

Aussie kids that foil the bad guys.

Forgotten birthdays.

High schools with no bags to carry books and folders.

Every teenager driving. No one fails the test.

All teen girls are cheer leaders. They don't do any sports

No car can go around corners.

All shots of Paris have to show the tower.

Girls and women don't go fishing.

Computer geeks never use mice.

The printer never, ever jams: well the one in Red Dwarf did!

There's a formative film with Corey Haim and Heather Graham that disproves at least one of those tropes!

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

Computer text appearing on screen in real time always makes a noise.

Defusing a bomb they always ask what colour wire to cut.....now although I’m an electrician I’d have to say that your regular Jihadi terrorist bomb maker does not follow a strict wiring code that conforms with the current wiring regulations.

Rows of lights coming on sequentially or in pairs on runways.....flick a switch and they’re all on or all off ffs

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By *ausageNmashCouple
over a year ago

Andover

Surely that doesn't happen? Unless you're fucking absolutely soaked! "

And they dont faff about with a condom or dont they have " safe sex" in movie world ?

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By *ausageNmashCouple
over a year ago

Andover

"They never nip to tescos for a packet of fags "

And a scratch card

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By *ausageNmashCouple
over a year ago

Andover

Serious injuries that heal rather quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People falling from height, getting blown up or shot and then dusting themselves down and continuing without any pain or loss of physical ability

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Whenever someone picks up a cat in a film the cat is ALWAYS pretty chilled out. In real world, unless they want to be picked up, they get right moody with you and turn into a feline version of Jackie Chan and leave you looking like you’ve been cuddling up to Edward Scissorhands.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

Pregnant person goes from nothing to full blown manic labour in one contraction, and baby comes out huge and clean.

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

Nobody locks their car but it it is still there or intact when they return to it.

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By *hilledGuerillaMan
over a year ago

In the monkey house

English actors or English characters as the bad guy.

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

Tyres squealing even on dirt roads

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

No driver ever applies their handbrake silently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women who say No really mean Yes eg James Bond

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A cigarette doesn’t burn hot enough to ignite petrol yet is always used to start off that trail to blow things up

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

They go clothes shopping in ONE store - the guy picks an outfit (or whole new wardrobe), despite not knowing her at all, and the woman always appears from the changing room with a perfectly fitting dress, not something that hangs like a sack, or pinches and bulges in all the wrong places.

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By *peak and SpellCouple
over a year ago

Greenwich, SE LONDON

Computers that beep whenever any key is pressed or is processing something.

Imagine how annoying that would be in a real life office.

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By *lint-EverhardMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

Just running away from the explosion or defusing the bomb in time. Nobody gets it wrong and are blown to smithereens.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Someone escapes by jumping through the toughened safety glass of a ceiling to floor skyscraper window - it always smashes first time - and they never get cuts or concussion.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Plane tickets that come in an envelope.

I've been all over and I've never been issued with plane tickets.

To be fair that may depend on the age of the film or the era it's set in - I was still being issued with actual tickets (in envelopes) for travel up until the late 90s

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Action heroes (especially you Mr Bond) who can jump in any vehicle and immediately know where all the controls are and how to expertly drive/fly/pilot it without stalling, turning on the windscreen wipers instead of the indicators etc

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

No matter what town or city they're in, nobody has trouble finding a parking space outside their destination.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

It's an old cliche BUT...you're alone in a house, prior events have already creeped you out and there's suspenseful music playing, you hear a noise in the basement that needs to be investigated so the right thing to do is go down there and ignore the light switch?

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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire and London

"Eating Thai food from those cartons with chopsticks.

No one in the real world can use chopsticks."

This one can - but you're right about using them to eat food out of boxes.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

[Removed by poster at 30/03/21 08:18:08]

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

The entire plot hingeing on who the protagonist's dad is. Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Feel good films where a group of kids (who at the start of the film are usually wayward) foil an adult who is up to no good

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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire and London

Australian accents for "English" characters in American films.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

If you're the "buddy" of the lead actor in an action film you better be good at death scenes because you'll be getting one that sparks the lead into a determined course of action to revenge it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When there a gun fight and the guy shots everyone with 1 bullet but when its the big bad guy and the hero a million bullets get shot n not a single wound

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No matter what town or city they're in, nobody has trouble finding a parking space outside their destination. "

Imagine the main character just driving round and round the block trying to find a space, losing his shit.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

The protagonist being presented with a choice of two love interests, and ending up with the boring, tame, less-attractive one. The interesting, characterful, more-interesting one is then usually killed off because Hollywood hates women who aren't sexless doormats.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 30/03/21 09:45:31]

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Guns that never run out of bullets, the hero always getting the beautiful girl at the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Training montages

What?! Can you imagine any of the rocky movies without the training montages or any JCVD movies without them!!

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.

Bisexual people being promiscuous!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Someone is on a high speed drive......

bridge opens or canyon appears.........

Will they make it ????????????

Yurrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssss..... !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bisexual people being promiscuous! "

True, but that Olivia Wilde scene in House tho...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody actually makes fucking plans...

"Let's grab a coffee later"

Ok Paul but Jesus Christ when, where... am I just ment to wander between Starbucks looking for your easy breezy ass..

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

The baddies always falling to their deaths is film language for their fall from grace ...

Why do the sexy dommy women always have to get killed off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firing an automatic weapon in an small room and not being deafened

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The weapon is ALWAYS in the cistern in a UK police series and under the floorboards in America...... or on top of the four poster if it's a woman's diddy handbag type thang........

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Someone is on a high speed drive......

bridge opens or canyon appears.........

Will they make it ????????????

Yurrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssss..... !"

Depends if they are good or bad - good then every time....bad they nosedive into space

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

How short, dainty women can butt whoop 19 stone musclemen.

Why people can run at full sprint, through people’s houses and over garden walls for what seems like an eternity.

Receptionists are always polite....

Women smacking men in the face is portrayed as ok, and the man never retaliates.

Why do cars and motorcycles seem to defy physics by moving in ways that are just not possible.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

There's always a karate fight.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Black people only playing music by black artists.

Slightly lame that one.

European cars are frowned upon, unless they're Beemers, Mercs and supercars.

VW bugs are purely novelty.

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By *anther81Man
over a year ago

Drogheda

The character that from the start you know is not important enough to care enough about so is going to die.

Has a bit of an affect on the main character but not really enough to affect the story.

Why bother or they just there to waste time or make the main character seem like a caring person.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

So the hero needs to make one shot to save the planet, country, President, whatever and starts off with a fully loaded gun, X Wing etc

Never, ever does he make that shot at the first attempt, or even the second, third etc....it's *always* down to shit or bust with the last bullet/missile etc...which of course *always* finds the target!!

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

The leading character's "homely" bestie being full on hysterical and/or kooky to make up for having a face only their mother could love.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Every bomb they diffuse goes right down to the last second as they cut the wire.

And, there's always an agonising choice between two wires as to which is the correct one.

And, they always change their minds at the last minute.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

There's always a funny fat mate in childhood films.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

People jumping or being thrown through glass windows without getting a single scratch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Noone has an issue with people drinking and driving unless it's a plot point

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"People jumping or being thrown through glass windows without getting a single scratch.

Safety glass, innit

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

When glass does shatter no one gets any in their eyes, but their faces are shredded to bits.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"When glass does shatter no one gets any in their eyes, but their faces are shredded to bits.

Erm SPECIAL safety glass. Innit

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"When glass does shatter no one gets any in their eyes, but their faces are shredded to bits.

Erm SPECIAL safety glass. Innit

Yea, that special safety glass that can avoid your eyes

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"When glass does shatter no one gets any in their eyes, but their faces are shredded to bits.

Erm SPECIAL safety glass. Innit

Yea, that special safety glass that can avoid your eyes

It's like Ronseal, does exactly what it says on the tin. Honest. Scout's honour etc

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Sports related films the underdogs always win...it might be a moral victory but they still come out on top...

...and if they do win the actual game it's always the last kick of the ball or play of the game that wins it usually in extra time or having come back from being behind in the early part of the game

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By *exysoul888TV/TS
over a year ago

Newcastle

Turn on the TV, and it's at the start of the news article they need to see.

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