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"What about Haddaway song  "Damn .... I'll look that one up. Put it on the no list while im looking for it. | |||
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"Wanting to know what love is. You must be a foreigner!" *Granny licks the end of her pencil and puts their name on the list of offenders...... * ....... | |||
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"A chemical reaction in our brains designed to get us to form attachments to others in order to mate and raise offspring together. " Ooooooooo that's for sure a good starter..... we all enjoy that feeling but then it dies....... 
So what is Love with a capital L ? Love after the shag ? | |||
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"I think love is best left undefined. But I agree with chemical explanations. Thats why when levels change we seem to lose the high of it. " I'm quite happy to leave it undefined but if we leave it undefined then people would have to stop pretending to understand what the other is feeling or attempting to lay down the terms they will be loved under. | |||
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"Feeling like you're "home" " That's how I can describe it for me anyway, in as few a words as possible. | |||
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"If you were in a room with everyone you've ever met, who would you look for? I saw this the other day and it made me think of three people. I think that's love. "Attachment? Familiarity ? | |||
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"I think love is best left undefined. But I agree with chemical explanations. Thats why when levels change we seem to lose the high of it. I'm quite happy to leave it undefined but if we leave it undefined then people would have to stop pretending to understand what the other is feeling or attempting to lay down the terms they will be loved under. " So complex. | |||
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"When you've got each other's back even when you don't like each other very much." There is this meme of an elderly couple sitting on a bench .. its raining and they both are turning away from each other but the man is still holding umbrella over her head.  something like that ? | |||
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"If you were in a room with everyone you've ever met, who would you look for? I saw this the other day and it made me think of three people. I think that's love. "Or many , many other reasons...... | |||
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"When you've got each other's back even when you don't like each other very much. There is this meme of an elderly couple sitting on a bench .. its raining and they both are turning away from each other but the man is still holding umbrella over her head. something like that ? "Very much like that but it also applies to kids, friends, parents. | |||
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"When you've got each other's back even when you don't like each other very much." Loyalty..... Army mentality ? Trained to do so ? Police officers ? Thieves ? Do they 'love' each other? I agree with what you say though , in that those who love each other are there through thick and thin but I don't see that AS love..... it's not what it is but it is apparent between those that love. | |||
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"When you've got each other's back even when you don't like each other very much. There is this meme of an elderly couple sitting on a bench .. its raining and they both are turning away from each other but the man is still holding umbrella over her head. something like that ? "Lovely toon ..... He's been taught to look after women ...... not love though is it. A stranger might do that for you ...... respect and all that. | |||
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"If you were in a room with everyone you've ever met, who would you look for? I saw this the other day and it made me think of three people. I think that's love.
Or many , many other reasons......
"Well I think everyone has a different idea of what love is to them so it could be different for you and others. And as Rose said, familiarity even could be what makes you look for them. But when I read that quote it really resonated with me about what love is. | |||
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"Feeling like you're "home" That's how I can describe it for me anyway, in as few a words as possible." Safe..... Trust..... | |||
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"Properly caring about someone from their ups and downs to how they are etc" Like a care worker or a nurse ? Is caring the same thing as love ? | |||
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"It's a big question, I'm not sure my brain can cope with British Summer Time AND this! It would help if we had more specific language to categorise the different types of love, and a lesson on distinguishing between them in year 6 of primary school alongside the puberty talk, complete with pop quiz, badges and a packet of haribo for the highest score. Personally I think any feelings for a partner before around 2 years into a relationship when you've really got to know them are attraction, lust and infatuation. Before then we get a highly edited version of a person as they're on their best behaviour and keen on making a good impression. " That really opens things up and I agree with most of it ..... We need precise language to discuss anything. I don't hold that there are different types of love ..... Love is Love. The degrees you intimate at would be , lust , desire, crush , sympathy , empathy etc etc ..... love is love isn't it ? I don't want haribos.... I'll have crisps thannks..... I 'love' those. | |||
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".... It would help if we had more specific language to categorise the different types of love, and a lesson on distinguishing between them.... Personally I think any feelings for a partner before around 2 years into a relationship when you've really got to know them are attraction, lust and infatuation. Before then we get a highly edited version of a person as they're on their best behaviour and keen on making a good impression. " Agreed on both points. 
I feel love for friends but it's different to the love I feel for my partners in an almost inexplicable way. Love is far too nuanced, far too subjective and personalised a thing.
I remember this fantastic animated film on epistemology (I think!) and it had these thought bubbles depicting what love meant to each individual who said those immortal three words.
From personal experience I know people fall in "love" with the idea of me easily so I'm now framing "I love you as I lust after you and think you are fantastic." It's not I'm on my best behaviour though, my overthinking comes out at a drop of hat. It's more the image of me marries with the idea of a loveable person. | |||
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"It's what I feel for Mr KC all the time but also why I'm desperate to hug my adult son and why I want snuggles from my 4yo daughter. It's a thing (chemical reactions blah blah) designed to foster closeness, co-operation and altruistic behaviour between closely related humans, or between humans who have mutual attraction to each other. Mr KC is very attractive to me "Do you think we get beyond the chemical stage ? I see the chemical stage as a very early stage between adults...... | |||
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"When you've got each other's back even when you don't like each other very much. Loyalty..... Army mentality ? Trained to do so ? Police officers ? Thieves ? Do they 'love' each other? I agree with what you say though , in that those who love each other are there through thick and thin but I don't see that AS love..... it's not what it is but it is apparent between those that love. " Hmm, this is deep. For me love is only evident in its expression. Maybe it is just a chemical reaction at first but when I look at my parents in their 67th year of marriage, getting on each other's nerves, bickering, moaning about each other but terrified when one of them is ill I think it must be much more than that but what do I know | |||
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"LOVE Is patient Is kind Does not envy Does not boast Is not proud Does not dishonour others Is not self seeking Is not easily angered Keeps no record of wrongs Does not delight in evil Rejoices with the truth Always protects Always trusts Always hopes Always perseveres Love never fails. Corinthians 13. 4-8" Sounds lovely doesn't it. I don't turn to any bible for definitions of love though. Who wrote Corinthians btw ? | |||
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"It's a big question, I'm not sure my brain can cope with British Summer Time AND this! It would help if we had more specific language to categorise the different types of love, and a lesson on distinguishing between them in year 6 of primary school alongside the puberty talk, complete with pop quiz, badges and a packet of haribo for the highest score. Personally I think any feelings for a partner before around 2 years into a relationship when you've really got to know them are attraction, lust and infatuation. Before then we get a highly edited version of a person as they're on their best behaviour and keen on making a good impression. That really opens things up and I agree with most of it ..... We need precise language to discuss anything. I don't hold that there are different types of love ..... Love is Love. The degrees you intimate at would be , lust , desire, crush , sympathy , empathy etc etc ..... love is love isn't it ? I don't want haribos.... I'll have crisps thannks..... I 'love' those. " What about the badge, do you still want that? There's also conditional and unconditional love. What I feel for my children will never be destroyed, no matter what they do. I might not always like them or their behaviour, but the love is unshakeable. I've fallen out of love with friends and partners after being treated badly, or simply by growing apart. | |||
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"LOVE Is patient Is kind Does not envy Does not boast Is not proud Does not dishonour others Is not self seeking Is not easily angered Keeps no record of wrongs Does not delight in evil Rejoices with the truth Always protects Always trusts Always hopes Always perseveres Love never fails. Corinthians 13. 4-8 Sounds lovely doesn't it. I don't turn to any bible for definitions of love though. Who wrote Corinthians btw ?" St. Paul. The full title of the book is "St. Paul's letters to the Corinthians" | |||
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"Feeling like you're "home" That's how I can describe it for me anyway, in as few a words as possible. Safe..... Trust..... " Yes. I love my friends, and this is very much how I feel. When I've been "in love" before, I've tended to find the safety and the trust are the things that get harmed. So, as much as I believe in supporting each other through the bad, it's also loving yourself enough not to ignore or discard red flags, and trusting yourself enough to make the decision to walk away or you end up losing so much more, you lose yourself, your hope and your faith. | |||
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"If you were in a room with everyone you've ever met, who would you look for? I saw this the other day and it made me think of three people. I think that's love.
Or many , many other reasons......
Well I think everyone has a different idea of what love is to them so it could be different for you and others. And as Rose said, familiarity even could be what makes you look for them. But when I read that quote it really resonated with me about what love is. "Now that I do agree with ..... 'We all have a different idea of what love it' ...... oh yes indeedy we do. | |||
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"It's what I feel for Mr KC all the time but also why I'm desperate to hug my adult son and why I want snuggles from my 4yo daughter. It's a thing (chemical reactions blah blah) designed to foster closeness, co-operation and altruistic behaviour between closely related humans, or between humans who have mutual attraction to each other. Mr KC is very attractive to me
Do you think we get beyond the chemical stage ? I see the chemical stage as a very early stage between adults......
"Oxytocin is secreted in vast quantities after a mother gives birth and is what starts off the parental bond. Also happens with skin to skin contact between parent (any gender) and child. Chemical reactions are what causes all forms of love, romantic and platonic. | |||
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"Love is constantly thinking about that one person Love is feeling like a part of you if missing when you are apart and whole when you are together. Love is waking up next to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Love is remembering the little things that make each other smile. Love is an embrace, warm and safe Love is respect, truth and honesty. " Thanks. Lovely sentiments. Line one sounds more like anxiety to me I said TO ME .....
Nice sentiments tho .......
I love waking up in my own bed. I do still love others.... I promise | |||
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"It's a big question, I'm not sure my brain can cope with British Summer Time AND this! It would help if we had more specific language to categorise the different types of love, and a lesson on distinguishing between them in year 6 of primary school alongside the puberty talk, complete with pop quiz, badges and a packet of haribo for the highest score. Personally I think any feelings for a partner before around 2 years into a relationship when you've really got to know them are attraction, lust and infatuation. Before then we get a highly edited version of a person as they're on their best behaviour and keen on making a good impression. " see the worst heart break i ever had was from my shortest relationship, but i know the feelings i had for that person were stronger than any love i ever felt for anyone before that i had been with for years and years for me you might still be seeing an edited version of a person in that early phase but that just means perhaps your love won’t survive the changes , it doesn’t mean your feelings towards that version you know can’t be love | |||
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"When your soul feels full from you sitting in the same room together. When you do nothing, but it feels like it’s something, as you are together. K" I can do that with someone I like or respect...... I don't think all of us believe in souls..... Thanks for sharing your ideas on love ..... i am interested. Seriously. | |||
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"LOVE Is patient Is kind Does not envy Does not boast Is not proud Does not dishonour others Is not self seeking Is not easily angered Keeps no record of wrongs Does not delight in evil Rejoices with the truth Always protects Always trusts Always hopes Always perseveres Love never fails. Corinthians 13. 4-8 Sounds lovely doesn't it. I don't turn to any bible for definitions of love though. Who wrote Corinthians btw ?" No idea, I’m not religious. It was at the bottom of a letter someone sent me at Christmas and it was still in my phone, when I saw your thread it reminded me of it and I copied it out. Went too all that trouble and you dismissed it without a care, not much love there Granny | |||
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"It's a big question, I'm not sure my brain can cope with British Summer Time AND this! It would help if we had more specific language to categorise the different types of love, and a lesson on distinguishing between them in year 6 of primary school alongside the puberty talk, complete with pop quiz, badges and a packet of haribo for the highest score. Personally I think any feelings for a partner before around 2 years into a relationship when you've really got to know them are attraction, lust and infatuation. Before then we get a highly edited version of a person as they're on their best behaviour and keen on making a good impression. see the worst heart break i ever had was from my shortest relationship, but i know the feelings i had for that person were stronger than any love i ever felt for anyone before that i had been with for years and years for me you might still be seeing an edited version of a person in that early phase but that just means perhaps your love won’t survive the changes , it doesn’t mean your feelings towards that version you know can’t be love " I'm not saying those feelings are any less powerful, quite the opposite in fact. But to really love the bones of someone you need to know who they are. | |||
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"Read "Love Factually: The Science of Who, How and Why We Love" by Laura Mucha. It's a truly absorbing read. " I might if I ever feel the need. Thanks for the suggestion though ...... She's an ex lawyer.. She did research and interview so i'm not saying her work is without meaning ..... it's not exactly her field though.... | |||
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"When your soul feels full from you sitting in the same room together. When you do nothing, but it feels like it’s something, as you are together. K I can do that with someone I like or respect...... I don't think all of us believe in souls..... Thanks for sharing your ideas on love ..... i am interested. Seriously." the way i see these examples people have given is just because you could do them for reasons other than love , doesn’t mean that they can’t also be elements of love fo example the sky is blue, but not everything blue is the sky things people have listed, care, safety, trust, etc etc love can be these actions and feelings, but not all of these actions and feelings are love does that come across as gibberish? it makes sense in my head | |||
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"Wanting to be with someone during the shit times as well as the good. Someone who scoops you up and envelopes you with love. Someone you want to grow old with I had it and it was cruelly snatched away " x | |||
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"When you've got each other's back even when you don't like each other very much. Loyalty..... Army mentality ? Trained to do so ? Police officers ? Thieves ? Do they 'love' each other? I agree with what you say though , in that those who love each other are there through thick and thin but I don't see that AS love..... it's not what it is but it is apparent between those that love. Hmm, this is deep. For me love is only evident in its expression. Maybe it is just a chemical reaction at first but when I look at my parents in their 67th year of marriage, getting on each other's nerves, bickering, moaning about each other but terrified when one of them is ill I think it must be much more than that but what do I know "More than you think ........ Love is indeed evident in expression ..... | |||
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"A chemical reaction in our brains designed to get us to form attachments to others in order to mate and raise offspring together. " This.x Then a comfy pair of Jean that you Chuck on daily as it’s safe, reliable and comfy.... | |||
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"It's as simple as this. It's the chemical reaction in a females brain to form an attachment to a male in order to mate and give birth to help continue the population and often this is for life. Men have a similar reaction and have a series of crushes. A man's role As the bill is to form as many relationships as possible and father many children to continue the species. This is a tension between the set of morals programmed into us my the church and state. Nature is nature. Women love. Men have crushes and can more easily move on. Some will disagree but that's my view..." Do you have references to back that up,Tom? | |||
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"What about Haddaway song
My sentiments also "I still haven't listened. Maybe I should and then we could just drop the mic I w ill though ...... I will listen. | |||
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"It's a big question, I'm not sure my brain can cope with British Summer Time AND this! It would help if we had more specific language to categorise the different types of love, and a lesson on distinguishing between them in year 6 of primary school alongside the puberty talk, complete with pop quiz, badges and a packet of haribo for the highest score. Personally I think any feelings for a partner before around 2 years into a relationship when you've really got to know them are attraction, lust and infatuation. Before then we get a highly edited version of a person as they're on their best behaviour and keen on making a good impression. That really opens things up and I agree with most of it ..... We need precise language to discuss anything. I don't hold that there are different types of love ..... Love is Love. The degrees you intimate at would be , lust , desire, crush , sympathy , empathy etc etc ..... love is love isn't it ? I don't want haribos.... I'll have crisps thannks..... I 'love' those. What about the badge, do you still want that? There's also conditional and unconditional love. What I feel for my children will never be destroyed, no matter what they do. I might not always like them or their behaviour, but the love is unshakeable. I've fallen out of love with friends and partners after being treated badly, or simply by growing apart. " (heart thingy) I don't like the behaviour of one of my daughters very much at the moment but i'll kill anyone that says a word about her.... boof ! straight up their wind pipe. | |||
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"It's a big question, I'm not sure my brain can cope with British Summer Time AND this! It would help if we had more specific language to categorise the different types of love, and a lesson on distinguishing between them in year 6 of primary school alongside the puberty talk, complete with pop quiz, badges and a packet of haribo for the highest score. Personally I think any feelings for a partner before around 2 years into a relationship when you've really got to know them are attraction, lust and infatuation. Before then we get a highly edited version of a person as they're on their best behaviour and keen on making a good impression. see the worst heart break i ever had was from my shortest relationship, but i know the feelings i had for that person were stronger than any love i ever felt for anyone before that i had been with for years and years for me you might still be seeing an edited version of a person in that early phase but that just means perhaps your love won’t survive the changes , it doesn’t mean your feelings towards that version you know can’t be love I'm not saying those feelings are any less powerful, quite the opposite in fact. But to really love the bones of someone you need to know who they are." you might never know someone fully, so that would mean you could never love someone for example a woman (or man) finds out their partner has been living a double life for 10 years, your concept would mean you were never able to have loved them , but you did , its just that you loved the version you knew i could see how it could work in reverse though , to love someone you have feel able to share all of yourself with them - safe to give all of yourself over, and in this example the one with the double life and parts of themselves concealed cannot truly be in love | |||
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"LOVE Is patient Is kind Does not envy Does not boast Is not proud Does not dishonour others Is not self seeking Is not easily angered Keeps no record of wrongs Does not delight in evil Rejoices with the truth Always protects Always trusts Always hopes Always perseveres Love never fails. Corinthians 13. 4-8 Sounds lovely doesn't it. I don't turn to any bible for definitions of love though. Who wrote Corinthians btw ? St. Paul. The full title of the book is "St. Paul's letters to the Corinthians"" Did he type it up ? | |||
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"It's a big question, I'm not sure my brain can cope with British Summer Time AND this! It would help if we had more specific language to categorise the different types of love, and a lesson on distinguishing between them in year 6 of primary school alongside the puberty talk, complete with pop quiz, badges and a packet of haribo for the highest score. Personally I think any feelings for a partner before around 2 years into a relationship when you've really got to know them are attraction, lust and infatuation. Before then we get a highly edited version of a person as they're on their best behaviour and keen on making a good impression. see the worst heart break i ever had was from my shortest relationship, but i know the feelings i had for that person were stronger than any love i ever felt for anyone before that i had been with for years and years for me you might still be seeing an edited version of a person in that early phase but that just means perhaps your love won’t survive the changes , it doesn’t mean your feelings towards that version you know can’t be love I'm not saying those feelings are any less powerful, quite the opposite in fact. But to really love the bones of someone you need to know who they are. you might never know someone fully, so that would mean you could never love someone for example a woman (or man) finds out their partner has been living a double life for 10 years, your concept would mean you were never able to have loved them , but you did , its just that you loved the version you knew i could see how it could work in reverse though , to love someone you have feel able to share all of yourself with them - safe to give all of yourself over, and in this example the one with the double life and parts of themselves concealed cannot truly be in love " Yes I think you're right. Loving a version of someone can be just as powerful and all-consuming as loving a whole person. | |||
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"Feeling like you're "home" That's how I can describe it for me anyway, in as few a words as possible. Safe..... Trust..... Yes. I love my friends, and this is very much how I feel. When I've been "in love" before, I've tended to find the safety and the trust are the things that get harmed. So, as much as I believe in supporting each other through the bad, it's also loving yourself enough not to ignore or discard red flags, and trusting yourself enough to make the decision to walk away or you end up losing so much more, you lose yourself, your hope and your faith. " BOOM....... love of self. No one has mentioned that ........ oh yes indeedy we are getting further with this ...... | |||
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"It's what I feel for Mr KC all the time but also why I'm desperate to hug my adult son and why I want snuggles from my 4yo daughter. It's a thing (chemical reactions blah blah) designed to foster closeness, co-operation and altruistic behaviour between closely related humans, or between humans who have mutual attraction to each other. Mr KC is very attractive to me
Do you think we get beyond the chemical stage ? I see the chemical stage as a very early stage between adults......
Oxytocin is secreted in vast quantities after a mother gives birth and is what starts off the parental bond. Also happens with skin to skin contact between parent (any gender) and child. Chemical reactions are what causes all forms of love, romantic and platonic."I'd argue that Romance and Love are very much NOT related. I can romance anyone without loving them ...... I do believe in the existence of platonic love and SMH when those who profess to 'not be getting any' confuse sex and love. | |||
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"It's a big question, I'm not sure my brain can cope with British Summer Time AND this! It would help if we had more specific language to categorise the different types of love, and a lesson on distinguishing between them in year 6 of primary school alongside the puberty talk, complete with pop quiz, badges and a packet of haribo for the highest score. Personally I think any feelings for a partner before around 2 years into a relationship when you've really got to know them are attraction, lust and infatuation. Before then we get a highly edited version of a person as they're on their best behaviour and keen on making a good impression. see the worst heart break i ever had was from my shortest relationship, but i know the feelings i had for that person were stronger than any love i ever felt for anyone before that i had been with for years and years for me you might still be seeing an edited version of a person in that early phase but that just means perhaps your love won’t survive the changes , it doesn’t mean your feelings towards that version you know can’t be love I'm not saying those feelings are any less powerful, quite the opposite in fact. But to really love the bones of someone you need to know who they are. you might never know someone fully, so that would mean you could never love someone for example a woman (or man) finds out their partner has been living a double life for 10 years, your concept would mean you were never able to have loved them , but you did , its just that you loved the version you knew i could see how it could work in reverse though , to love someone you have feel able to share all of yourself with them - safe to give all of yourself over, and in this example the one with the double life and parts of themselves concealed cannot truly be in love Yes I think you're right. Loving a version of someone can be just as powerful and all-consuming as loving a whole person. " i do get though that its easier to keep up edited versions of yourself in the short term so by a few years in the chances are much higher that your love is for the real version of someone | |||
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"It's as simple as this. It's the chemical reaction in a females brain to form an attachment to a male in order to mate and give birth to help continue the population and often this is for life. Men have a similar reaction and have a series of crushes. A man's role As the bill is to form as many relationships as possible and father many children to continue the species. This is a tension between the set of morals programmed into us my the church and state. Nature is nature. Women love. Men have crushes and can more easily move on. Some will disagree but that's my view..." Tbh I think you're right | |||
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"It's a big question, I'm not sure my brain can cope with British Summer Time AND this! It would help if we had more specific language to categorise the different types of love, and a lesson on distinguishing between them in year 6 of primary school alongside the puberty talk, complete with pop quiz, badges and a packet of haribo for the highest score. Personally I think any feelings for a partner before around 2 years into a relationship when you've really got to know them are attraction, lust and infatuation. Before then we get a highly edited version of a person as they're on their best behaviour and keen on making a good impression. see the worst heart break i ever had was from my shortest relationship, but i know the feelings i had for that person were stronger than any love i ever felt for anyone before that i had been with for years and years for me you might still be seeing an edited version of a person in that early phase but that just means perhaps your love won’t survive the changes , it doesn’t mean your feelings towards that version you know can’t be love " Agreed wholeheartedly. Who is to say that love cannot be almost instant? | |||
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"It's as simple as this. It's the chemical reaction in a females brain to form an attachment to a male in order to mate and give birth to help continue the population and often this is for life. Men have a similar reaction and have a series of crushes. A man's role As the bill is to form as many relationships as possible and father many children to continue the species. This is a tension between the set of morals programmed into us my the church and state. Nature is nature. Women love. Men have crushes and can more easily move on. Some will disagree but that's my view..." I disagree with very little of what you say Tom. Except that you confuse pro-creation with love. | |||
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"from the chemical point of view , does anyone know why your brain stops making these chemicals , because i presume this must happen since people are able to fall out of love with each other " If I remember rightly it lasts around 2/3 years long enough for baby to reach toddler age...all to do with survival. | |||
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"LOVE Is patient Is kind Does not envy Does not boast Is not proud Does not dishonour others Is not self seeking Is not easily angered Keeps no record of wrongs Does not delight in evil Rejoices with the truth Always protects Always trusts Always hopes Always perseveres Love never fails. Corinthians 13. 4-8 Sounds lovely doesn't it. I don't turn to any bible for definitions of love though. Who wrote Corinthians btw ? No idea, I’m not religious. It was at the bottom of a letter someone sent me at Christmas and it was still in my phone, when I saw your thread it reminded me of it and I copied it out. Went too all that trouble and you dismissed it without a care, not much love there Granny "Ahhhhhhh Glasshoppaaaaaaaa I love. I appreciate your fanzine article It doesn't explain what love is tho...... | |||
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"I don’t know, I don’t wanna know, I just like it. Love is a feeling that has accompanied me for as long as I can remember and long may it continue. Love is what makes me who I am. " I don't like it. For me, Love means pain and always ends in tears  | |||
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"When your soul feels full from you sitting in the same room together. When you do nothing, but it feels like it’s something, as you are together. K I can do that with someone I like or respect...... I don't think all of us believe in souls..... Thanks for sharing your ideas on love ..... i am interested. Seriously. the way i see these examples people have given is just because you could do them for reasons other than love , doesn’t mean that they can’t also be elements of love fo example the sky is blue, but not everything blue is the sky things people have listed, care, safety, trust, etc etc love can be these actions and feelings, but not all of these actions and feelings are love does that come across as gibberish? it makes sense in my head " Not gibberish at all. They can indeed be elements of love. I wouldn't dispute that. But each of all the ( perfectly acceptable actions/descriptions ) above do not define love ....... I had eggs for breakfast but eggs are not breakfast...... I agree with most people but we still don't know what love is. | |||
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"I don’t know, I don’t wanna know, I just like it. Love is a feeling that has accompanied me for as long as I can remember and long may it continue. Love is what makes me who I am. I don't like it. For me, Love means pain and always ends in tears "That’s sad. I do understand that love experiences are different for everyone. It’s a strange thing. | |||
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"What love means changes with age. But all you need is love." True.. Did YOU sneak a song in there ??? OUT ! | |||
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"For me I think this poem by Lang Leav pretty much sums it up! What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude. It was like being exhumed, I answered, and brought to life in a flash of brilliance. What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy. It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence. What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow. There was a long pause before I responded: It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me—said all at once." Utterly, Utterly , Utterly beautiful. I am going to get a copy of that ..... However it assumes love.... It describes the feeling of someone who has loved and lost ... rather than tell us what love is. | |||
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"I don't know what it is. " Biggest truth here today Patrick | |||
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"When your soul feels full from you sitting in the same room together. When you do nothing, but it feels like it’s something, as you are together. K I can do that with someone I like or respect...... I don't think all of us believe in souls..... Thanks for sharing your ideas on love ..... i am interested. Seriously. the way i see these examples people have given is just because you could do them for reasons other than love , doesn’t mean that they can’t also be elements of love fo example the sky is blue, but not everything blue is the sky things people have listed, care, safety, trust, etc etc love can be these actions and feelings, but not all of these actions and feelings are love does that come across as gibberish? it makes sense in my head Not gibberish at all. They can indeed be elements of love. I wouldn't dispute that. But each of all the ( perfectly acceptable actions/descriptions ) above do not define love ....... I had eggs for breakfast but eggs are not breakfast...... I agree with most people but we still don't know what love is. " so maybe its a culmination of these things before it is love - one their own they do not equal love but together they do? like eggs alone don’t make a breakfast but if you have eggs, sausages, bacon together you got yourself a breakfast , and yet also someone on the continent might have an entirely different and yet equally as valid view of what makes up their breakfast (take this with a pinch of salt because that cheese and meats nonsense for breakfast is sacrilege ) | |||
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"from the chemical point of view , does anyone know why your brain stops making these chemicals , because i presume this must happen since people are able to fall out of love with each other " That's cos the initial 'rush' is not love....... it's attraction ..... Some might argue that that is all love is... | |||
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"I don’t know, I don’t wanna know, I just like it. Love is a feeling that has accompanied me for as long as I can remember and long may it continue. Love is what makes me who I am. " You are loved ? OR You love ? OR Both ? | |||
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"from the chemical point of view , does anyone know why your brain stops making these chemicals , because i presume this must happen since people are able to fall out of love with each other If I remember rightly it lasts around 2/3 years long enough for baby to reach toddler age...all to do with survival. " Also lasts as long as you breastfeed so could be longer than 3yrs.... By then, the connection is imprinted and you love your child, usually unconditionally for the rest of your/their lives. | |||
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"I don’t know, I don’t wanna know, I just like it. Love is a feeling that has accompanied me for as long as I can remember and long may it continue. Love is what makes me who I am. I don't like it. For me, Love means pain and always ends in tears "Attachment perhaps ? Surely love is kind.... | |||
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"It's what I feel for Mr KC all the time but also why I'm desperate to hug my adult son and why I want snuggles from my 4yo daughter. It's a thing (chemical reactions blah blah) designed to foster closeness, co-operation and altruistic behaviour between closely related humans, or between humans who have mutual attraction to each other. Mr KC is very attractive to me
Do you think we get beyond the chemical stage ? I see the chemical stage as a very early stage between adults......
Oxytocin is secreted in vast quantities after a mother gives birth and is what starts off the parental bond. Also happens with skin to skin contact between parent (any gender) and child. Chemical reactions are what causes all forms of love, romantic and platonic.
I'd argue that Romance and Love are very much NOT related. I can romance anyone without loving them ...... I do believe in the existence of platonic love and SMH when those who profess to 'not be getting any' confuse sex and love. "Romance is a series of cultural norms for "showing off" or peacocking to gain love and affection. Different cultures have very different ideas to what romance involves but there's no difference in the chemical reactions in the brain when two people are attracted or a woman gives birth, that is a physiological phenomenon. | |||
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"from the chemical point of view , does anyone know why your brain stops making these chemicals , because i presume this must happen since people are able to fall out of love with each other That's cos the initial 'rush' is not love....... it's attraction ..... Some might argue that that is all love is... " its not really attraction when its with your kids / parents though is it , but i guess its also much harder to fall out of that kind of love , wonder if its different chemicals or different concentrations of the same chemicals depending if its romantic love or familial love - there must be a reason our brain knows to categorise them differently | |||
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"LOVE Is patient Is kind Does not envy Does not boast Is not proud Does not dishonour others Is not self seeking Is not easily angered Keeps no record of wrongs Does not delight in evil Rejoices with the truth Always protects Always trusts Always hopes Always perseveres Love never fails. Corinthians 13. 4-8 Sounds lovely doesn't it. I don't turn to any bible for definitions of love though. Who wrote Corinthians btw ? St. Paul. The full title of the book is "St. Paul's letters to the Corinthians" Did he type it up ? " Yes, on a Remington analogue typewriter  | |||
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"It's what I feel for Mr KC all the time but also why I'm desperate to hug my adult son and why I want snuggles from my 4yo daughter. It's a thing (chemical reactions blah blah) designed to foster closeness, co-operation and altruistic behaviour between closely related humans, or between humans who have mutual attraction to each other. Mr KC is very attractive to me
Do you think we get beyond the chemical stage ? I see the chemical stage as a very early stage between adults......
Oxytocin is secreted in vast quantities after a mother gives birth and is what starts off the parental bond. Also happens with skin to skin contact between parent (any gender) and child. Chemical reactions are what causes all forms of love, romantic and platonic.
I'd argue that Romance and Love are very much NOT related. I can romance anyone without loving them ...... I do believe in the existence of platonic love and SMH when those who profess to 'not be getting any' confuse sex and love.
Romance is a series of cultural norms for "showing off" or peacocking to gain love and affection. Different cultures have very different ideas to what romance involves but there's no difference in the chemical reactions in the brain when two people are attracted or a woman gives birth, that is a physiological phenomenon."oh my post was just too slow in asking this question about the chemicals is there a reason then that our brain knows the difference between attracted love and maternal love - or is that just purely from expected behaviours from culture? | |||
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"I don’t know, I don’t wanna know, I just like it. Love is a feeling that has accompanied me for as long as I can remember and long may it continue. Love is what makes me who I am. You are loved ? OR You love ? OR Both ?" Both. Totally, loved and give love. | |||
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"Why does it have to be defined? Why can’t it be whatever an individual wants it to be at any given time, which will change endlessly to suit their own narrative?" i guess in a relationship be that family or romantic it helps to at least have a common understanding between both parties as to what love between you means , surely helps to maintain it , but it could be different in every relationships sure | |||
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"Why does it have to be defined? Why can’t it be whatever an individual wants it to be at any given time, which will change endlessly to suit their own narrative?" Then it has no value between people Huggy. It doesn't exist outside of the self. And I am not disagreeing.
It's a view I hold. | |||
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"I don’t know, I don’t wanna know, I just like it. Love is a feeling that has accompanied me for as long as I can remember and long may it continue. Love is what makes me who I am. You are loved ? OR You love ? OR Both ? Both. Totally, loved and give love. " I got a butterflutter then ..... nice way to be in the world. | |||
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"For me I think this poem by Lang Leav pretty much sums it up! What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude. It was like being exhumed, I answered, and brought to life in a flash of brilliance. What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy. It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence. What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow. There was a long pause before I responded: It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me—said all at once. Utterly, Utterly , Utterly beautiful. I am going to get a copy of that ..... However it assumes love.... It describes the feeling of someone who has loved and lost ... rather than tell us what love is. " I adore this poem. I think she does in the first verse and as a result you have the impact of the last verse. I believe in connecting with people on different levels. I think that you just feel it. That's what makes it so hard to define. Loads of things already mentioned like trust, loyalty, honesty etc...they are ingredients. I think because we are all so individual that everyone will experience it differently. I heard a great saying once which is kind of like the poem above. Love can only be measured in heartbreak. I think that is so sad. The very thing that differentiates us and we all question, seek, go against our better judgement for at times, try to define etc...will only fully be felt after it is gone. | |||
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"I don’t know, I don’t wanna know, I just like it. Love is a feeling that has accompanied me for as long as I can remember and long may it continue. Love is what makes me who I am. " I love this so much.  | |||
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"I think that the various words are needed. Language carries meaning and yet we have not yet defined love as such. I do not hold that one word is sufficient to describe how we feel about various people and objects in our lives..... e.g. When people say - I LOVE this programme....... I LOVE bacon ....... I LOVE these shoes........ I LOVE my facebook 'friends' ....... To me this cheapens 'love'. When someone squeals at a new friend.... 'O.M.G! I love you' ....... when they just mean ..... well we had great fun today. You are so funny to be with ........ It's very misleading ....... especially to someone who was looking for love. It's used far too much and too easily nowadays.. My generation used it sparingly, it meant something. You couldn't say it about an ice-cream you'd have looked a twat........ P.S. I love vanilla if anyone is buying. "Materialism has taken over. Instantaneous satisfaction and replacement seem more prevalent today which devalues everything and we call it evolution 
I really like that this pandemic has highlighted our behaviour to a degree and made us more appreciative of what is termed the simple things but in truth, they are the most important. | |||
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"I don’t know, I don’t wanna know, I just like it. Love is a feeling that has accompanied me for as long as I can remember and long may it continue. Love is what makes me who I am. I love this so much. "Me too. Beautiful | |||
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"It's a big question, I'm not sure my brain can cope with British Summer Time AND this! It would help if we had more specific language to categorise the different types of love, and a lesson on distinguishing between them in year 6 of primary school alongside the puberty talk, complete with pop quiz, badges and a packet of haribo for the highest score. Personally I think any feelings for a partner before around 2 years into a relationship when you've really got to know them are attraction, lust and infatuation. Before then we get a highly edited version of a person as they're on their best behaviour and keen on making a good impression. " hence why none of mine last that long, spotted before 2 years
I agree with you that there are different types of love, your love for your kids for instance is not the same as for your partner. regardless of the type of love it is as peach say feeling like home, no matter where you actually are, its definitely a personal feeling. | |||
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"Schopenhauer offers some interesting if borderline misogynistic views on the subject: "The only true purpose, the real purpose of every communion in love is the procreation, the birth of a child, although people who are in love are unable to conceive the nature's treacherous way, casting over the actual act a shining veil "." what about the people who are not maternal and never intend to pro create, is it a case of my biology doesn’t compute that decision in my consciousness so still charges on with the hormonal and chemical steps anyway? or possibly its why i have never been able to make love last | |||
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"For me I think this poem by Lang Leav pretty much sums it up! What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude. It was like being exhumed, I answered, and brought to life in a flash of brilliance. What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy. It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence. What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow. There was a long pause before I responded: It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me—said all at once. Utterly, Utterly , Utterly beautiful. I am going to get a copy of that ..... However it assumes love.... It describes the feeling of someone who has loved and lost ... rather than tell us what love is. I adore this poem. I think she does in the first verse and as a result you have the impact of the last verse. I believe in connecting with people on different levels. I think that you just feel it. That's what makes it so hard to define. Loads of things already mentioned like trust, loyalty, honesty etc...they are ingredients. I think because we are all so individual that everyone will experience it differently. I heard a great saying once which is kind of like the poem above. Love can only be measured in heartbreak. I think that is so sad. The very thing that differentiates us and we all question, seek, go against our better judgement for at times, try to define etc...will only fully be felt after it is gone. " i can relate to this , i think i’ve only ever appreciated the full measure of my feelings in retrospect when it was time to pack them back in a box and move on but i live in hope that its a case of “so far” its only been measured that way , and that one day i will be in such strong love that i can appreciate it fully during it | |||
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"Schopenhauer offers some interesting if borderline misogynistic views on the subject: "The only true purpose, the real purpose of every communion in love is the procreation, the birth of a child, although people who are in love are unable to conceive the nature's treacherous way, casting over the actual act a shining veil ". what about the people who are not maternal and never intend to pro create, is it a case of my biology doesn’t compute that decision in my consciousness so still charges on with the hormonal and chemical steps anyway? or possibly its why i have never been able to make love last " It's possible, yes, that the non-maternal brain is wired differently. We're all very different at the end of the day. As for the earlier question about romantic love vs platonic love and the chemicals that underpin it - there's no difference. Oxytocin is the culprit and it's released in mothers during/after birth and for a period after but it's also released during romantic liaisons and especially skin to skin contact. Which is why naked snuggles are ace! Try this article in Scientific American with the title "Be Mine Forever: Oxytocin May Help Build Long-Lasting Love" | |||
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"For me I think this poem by Lang Leav pretty much sums it up! What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude. It was like being exhumed, I answered, and brought to life in a flash of brilliance. What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy. It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence. What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow. There was a long pause before I responded: It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me—said all at once." This resonated with me so much after I lost my husband | |||
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"I often read posts on 'love'. Posts from those who have lost it. Posts advising those who've lost it on how to get it back. Posts making decisions of whether you were truly loved before you lost it ...... yada yada yada .... What is love ?? What is it ? In anyone's opinion or experience. What is love ? (i've already done the Howard Jones song .... so don't. Don't be doing Tina Turner either ) Just your ideas....." Granny I haven’t a clue what love is. I’m stumped. | |||
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"Schopenhauer offers some interesting if borderline misogynistic views on the subject: "The only true purpose, the real purpose of every communion in love is the procreation, the birth of a child, although people who are in love are unable to conceive the nature's treacherous way, casting over the actual act a shining veil ". what about the people who are not maternal and never intend to pro create, is it a case of my biology doesn’t compute that decision in my consciousness so still charges on with the hormonal and chemical steps anyway? or possibly its why i have never been able to make love last " I guess the rational mind can override biological impulses but not extinguish them. I don't wholly subscribe to the Dawkins view that we are all perpetually in thrall to the programming of our genes. | |||
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"I don't know what it is. Biggest truth here today Patrick "Seems confusing and does more damage than good. But wouldn't know | |||
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"Love is getting a blow job without having to finish off the back bedroom skirting boards cause ‘they’ve not been painted for a while’ Love is having anal on none ‘birthdays’ Love is giving you that little handjob and not saving it for ‘taking the bins out when it’s raining’ Love is having a fuck once a week and not because you bought her that top she wanted from Tammy Girl "Brought a tear to my eye that did..... God I LOVE you Mystique ( hearty thing that goes pump pump ) and I mean LOVE like I LOVE Line of Duty ...... that much! | |||
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"Love is getting a blow job without having to finish off the back bedroom skirting boards cause ‘they’ve not been painted for a while’ Love is having anal on none ‘birthdays’ Love is giving you that little handjob and not saving it for ‘taking the bins out when it’s raining’ Love is having a fuck once a week and not because you bought her that top she wanted from Tammy Girl
Brought a tear to my eye that did.....
God I LOVE you Mystique ( hearty thing that goes pump pump )
and I mean LOVE like I LOVE Line of Duty ...... that much! "I can feel it through the WiFi waves Granny | |||
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"You do know Tammy Girl went awol in the 90's ..... ? You don't buy her a dress that often do you ?" I think it’s called Tampax girl now | |||
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"Love is getting a blow job without having to finish off the back bedroom skirting boards cause ‘they’ve not been painted for a while’ Love is having anal on none ‘birthdays’ Love is giving you that little handjob and not saving it for ‘taking the bins out when it’s raining’ Love is having a fuck once a week and not because you bought her that top she wanted from Tammy Girl
Brought a tear to my eye that did.....
God I LOVE you Mystique ( hearty thing that goes pump pump )
and I mean LOVE like I LOVE Line of Duty ...... that much!
I can feel it through the WiFi waves Granny "I have steam valves ....... wtf is WIFI ? | |||
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"You do know Tammy Girl went awol in the 90's ..... ? You don't buy her a dress that often do you ? I think it’s called Tampax girl now "men buying your tampax ... now that is true love haha | |||
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"Love is getting a blow job without having to finish off the back bedroom skirting boards cause ‘they’ve not been painted for a while’ Love is having anal on none ‘birthdays’ Love is giving you that little handjob and not saving it for ‘taking the bins out when it’s raining’ Love is having a fuck once a week and not because you bought her that top she wanted from Tammy Girl
Brought a tear to my eye that did.....
God I LOVE you Mystique ( hearty thing that goes pump pump )
and I mean LOVE like I LOVE Line of Duty ...... that much!
I can feel it through the WiFi waves Granny
I have steam valves ....... wtf is WIFI ?"It’s our inbuilt electrical impulse, our frequencies are very much aligned. Or should I say mine is approx 7.5 inches in tune with yours | |||
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"Memories cause love. Love kills." I think that's going a bit far..... Love hurts. Love mars. Love wounds and scars Any heart not tough or strong enough ..... | |||
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"Not smashing him in the face with a brick when he uses my £15 hair conditioner when bathing the dog "That's so sweet xxx you are an angel. | |||
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"For me I think this poem by Lang Leav pretty much sums it up! What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude. It was like being exhumed, I answered, and brought to life in a flash of brilliance. What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy. It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence. What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow. There was a long pause before I responded: It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me—said all at once." Ohh wow this has got me right in the heart today, three years ago today I lost my partner, I’ve been and put flowers on his grave and the finality of the goodbyes is a truly soul emptying crushing feeling
As for love it’s not all hearts n flowers it’s someone buying your favourite salad for tea, it’s someone who wants to be with you and isn’t afraid to let you know, it’s someone buying you a Minions mug for your birthday just because you laughed at the movie with him, it’s loving their quirks and not wanting to slap them quite so viciously when they do things that do annoy you, it’s laughing and cuddling and holding hand watching the telly in silence coz you don’t feel the need to be taking all the time.... yeah some of that is love for sure | |||
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"Memories cause love. Love kills. I think that's going a bit far..... Love hurts. Love mars. Love wounds and scars Any heart not tough or strong enough ....." Love could kill you inside...make you miserable. | |||
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"Memories cause love. Love kills. I think that's going a bit far..... Love hurts. Love mars. Love wounds and scars Any heart not tough or strong enough ..... Love could kill you inside...make you miserable." I don't think it's love that does that x | |||
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"Memories cause love. Love kills. I think that's going a bit far..... Love hurts. Love mars. Love wounds and scars Any heart not tough or strong enough ..... Love could kill you inside...make you miserable. I don't think it's love that does that x " Trust me. | |||
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 I Mr KC | |||
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"For me I think this poem by Lang Leav pretty much sums it up! What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude. It was like being exhumed, I answered, and brought to life in a flash of brilliance. What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy. It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence. What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow. There was a long pause before I responded: It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me—said all at once. Ohh wow this has got me right in the heart today, three years ago today I lost my partner, I’ve been and put flowers on his grave and the finality of the goodbyes is a truly soul emptying crushing feeling
As for love it’s not all hearts n flowers it’s someone buying your favourite salad for tea, it’s someone who wants to be with you and isn’t afraid to let you know, it’s someone buying you a Minions mug for your birthday just because you laughed at the movie with him, it’s loving their quirks and not wanting to slap them quite so viciously when they do things that do annoy you, it’s laughing and cuddling and holding hand watching the telly in silence coz you don’t feel the need to be taking all the time.... yeah some of that is love for sure "(Hugs) for your loss and for the day that's in it. Love is...actions not words. It is a beautiful poem that has made me cry on many occasions | |||
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"Love is getting a blow job without having to finish off the back bedroom skirting boards cause ‘they’ve not been painted for a while’ Love is having anal on none ‘birthdays’ Love is giving you that little handjob and not saving it for ‘taking the bins out when it’s raining’ Love is having a fuck once a week and not because you bought her that top she wanted from Tammy Girl "Tammy Girl? How old is your girlfriend? 12? | |||
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"It's a big question, I'm not sure my brain can cope with British Summer Time AND this! It would help if we had more specific language to categorise the different types of love, and a lesson on distinguishing between them in year 6 of primary school alongside the puberty talk, complete with pop quiz, badges and a packet of haribo for the highest score. Personally I think any feelings for a partner before around 2 years into a relationship when you've really got to know them are attraction, lust and infatuation. Before then we get a highly edited version of a person as they're on their best behaviour and keen on making a good impression. " I like this. | |||
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"Love is getting a blow job without having to finish off the back bedroom skirting boards cause ‘they’ve not been painted for a while’ Love is having anal on none ‘birthdays’ Love is giving you that little handjob and not saving it for ‘taking the bins out when it’s raining’ Love is having a fuck once a week and not because you bought her that top she wanted from Tammy Girl
Tammy Girl? How old is your girlfriend? 12?"She was, in 1995 | |||
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"Not smashing him in the face with a brick when he uses my £15 hair conditioner when bathing the dog " . | |||
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for me is that snuggle at the end of the night when I’m falling asleep spooned into Mr Sofa’s hot ass, or in my spot on his chest/underarm. That feels like home to me | |||
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