FabSwingers.com forum: Dark jokes please.

By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

Ok done a few of these and love them. Lets hear your dark jokes today and best 1 liners.

Lets all agree that we wont take offence here too. Were all adults.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How dark can we go ? X

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Warming up my block button. Let's see who outs themselves this time!

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

"Ok done a few of these and love them. Lets hear your dark jokes today and best 1 liners.

Lets all agree that we wont take offence here too. Were all adults."

Do Fab admin know that though!!!!

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Nobody seems to want to put their head above the parapet and take the inevitable flack, so I‘ll start things off.

Can orphans eat in a family restaurant?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats the difference between a baby and a baked potato.

About 140 calories.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

patiently waiting for Ms Peach to arrive

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By *iwi maleMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

This would be Frankley Boyles forum

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By *iwi maleMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

How long does a turkey last in a freezer?????. Bout 5 hours

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

How many binary programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

10!

One to hold the ladder and one to change the the bulb.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the deaf dumb and blind kid get for Christmas?

Cancer...

Hubby told the nurses this at his oncology appointment last week and it went down a storm.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Alan Turing is the perfect choice for the new £50 note as he was also not accepted in most shops.

I wouldn't say my school was that racist but in Maths class there was a lot of division.

I had a call earlier from the school about my daughter's World Book Day costume yesterday! Have they never read 'The Emperor's new clothes'?

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Why are Women's feet shorter than Mens?

So they can get closer to the kitchen sink.

My Husband used to have 6 inches and a wrinkle, now he's got 6 wrinkles and an inch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant.....I know too many offensive jokes

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his cousin in the woods?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Why are Women's feet shorter than Mens?

So they can get closer to the kitchen sink.

My Husband used to have 6 inches and a wrinkle, now he's got 6 wrinkles and an inch."

Why do women generally outlive men? They have to tidy up after them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/03/21 13:09:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone was excited at autopsy club.

Tonight was open Mike night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How dark are we talking here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did stevie wonder say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

That's the most violent book I've ever read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be schizophrenic. But we are alright now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"

"Africa," says the parrot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you get if you cross prince Charles and the Queen?

Killed in a tunnel.

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By *argoyleMan
over a year ago

dudley

What's the difference between "oooh" and "aargh" --- about 3 inches

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By *argoyleMan
over a year ago

dudley

I got an e-mail from "bored housewife 33 looking for some action". I sent her my dirty laundry.

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By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

Whats got 4 legs and 1 arm?

A pitbull in a playground

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We met a lovely Jamaican man who had WENDY tattooed on his cock. We said "Aah that's nice, is that your wife". He said "No, it says WelcomE to Jamaica have a Nice DaY"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/03/21 15:58:51]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the first thing a battered wife does when she gets out of hospital... Da fucking dishes if she knows what's good for her

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By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo

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By *ydrewMan
over a year ago

Winchester

[Removed by poster at 27/03/21 19:03:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two peanuts walking down the road.... One was a salted.

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By *uper SaiyanMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I hate seeing emos in the bank. They're always cutting in line.

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

My Therapist told me to write letters to everybody I hate and then burn them..... Did that! But now what do I do with all these bloody letters?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, didn't this thread take off after hubbies cancer joke..

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By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

It really did lol.

Been laughing a lot!

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

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By *lint-EverhardMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

Why isn't Michael Jackson very good at playing chess?

Because he's dead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I somehow managed to send naked pictures to everyone in my mobile telephones address book.

It cost me a fortune in stamps

Boom!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just bookmarking this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it me, or is it really hot in here? I'm sweating like Joseph Fritzel on an episode of MTV Cribs.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back.

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By *ice But Very NaughtyCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

This thread is making me think that a game of Cards against Humanity with you all would be a good laugh.

Her x

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

Did anyone see the meme when trump played golf and the ball hit biden on airforce one? It was fun lol.

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

To the k1dnapers who say they took my mother in law- The pinkie you sent is not sufficient evidence for proof of life..... I'm going to need a lot more than that if you ever want to see a Penny!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fabswingers

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By *onnyrover72Man
over a year ago

doncaster

My worse moment was when I was telling the joke about what you do if your epileptic son has a fit in thee bath, Answer is throw in your washing. A men next to me said my son was epileptic and died in the bath, I was so sorry and ashamed and asked him if he had drowned. No he said he chocked on a sock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck me some of these are dark...

Keep em coming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look up!

Is it a bird! Is it a plane!

Whatever it is, its heading for the world trade centre!

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By *ewkesbury cowboyMan
over a year ago

Tewkesbury

Why can't women ski?

No slope between the bedroom and the kitchen

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Yeah you would still have to stay within forum rules to add a post, the ones I am removing don't

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By *ewkesbury cowboyMan
over a year ago

Tewkesbury

How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb?

Steven

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Yeah you would still have to stay within forum rules to add a post, the ones I am removing don't

https://www.fabswingers.com/content/forum-rules

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By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

Difference between a working girl and a coffin

You cum in one and go in the other

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By *ewkesbury cowboyMan
over a year ago

Tewkesbury

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?

Full

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you call a dog with no legs?

Anything, but it won't come to you .

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

"Why can't women ski?

No slope between the bedroom and the kitchen"

missed the washing basket ride down the stairs did ya? much quicker than ski's

my ex once told me to take it like a man, no problem I said as I ready myself with a foot long strap on & told him to bend over.

really I should send my son on for this...he's is really dark, he'd have you in stiches, though all laptops broken with spat out tea maybe not a good idea.

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By *artender_onthelooseMan
over a year ago

Dublin

A box of condoms, please.

That’ll be €6.99

Do you want a bag with it?

Nah I’m OK. She’s actually quite pretty.

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By *ewkesbury cowboyMan
over a year ago

Tewkesbury

"Why can't women ski?

No slope between the bedroom and the kitchen

missed the washing basket ride down the stairs did ya? much quicker than ski's

my ex once told me to take it like a man, no problem I said as I ready myself with a foot long strap on & told him to bend over.

really I should send my son on for this...he's is really dark, he'd have you in stiches, though all laptops broken with spat out tea maybe not a good idea."

I been telling that one since secondary school and your the first to point out the washing basket slide

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By *ewkesbury cowboyMan
over a year ago

Tewkesbury

I hate the term anal bleaching.

I prefer to say changing my ringtone

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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago

C'est moi Boudoir

"What you call a dog with no legs?

Anything, but it won't come to you ."

Where would you find a dog with no legs?

The last place you left it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the monkey fall out the tree?

Cuz it was dead .

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By *athan 123Man
over a year ago

rochdale oldham border

How does the monkey make its cheese on toast? He puts it under the gorilla

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

"Why can't women ski?

No slope between the bedroom and the kitchen

missed the washing basket ride down the stairs did ya? much quicker than ski's

my ex once told me to take it like a man, no problem I said as I ready myself with a foot long strap on & told him to bend over.

really I should send my son on for this...he's is really dark, he'd have you in stiches, though all laptops broken with spat out tea maybe not a good idea.

I been telling that one since secondary school and your the first to point out the washing basket slide"

maybe cos I can still fit in one like a did as a kid haha....cardboard boxes laid down stairs first is much better

can ya tell me house is a bit wild

hide and seek with kids is fun, told them to count and they've been looking for me ever since....oh wait that was their dads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate the term anal bleaching.

I prefer to say changing my ringtone"

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By *ogan WillowCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Why did the monkey fall out the tree?

Cuz it was dead ."

The world misses you Rik

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By *melfCouple
over a year ago

Stoneybridge

Two monkeys in the bath, the first one says

"oooooooohhhoooohhh"

Second one says

"Well put some cold water in then"

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By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

What’s the difference between a Joke and 4 dicks? I heard you can’t take a Joke!!!!

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By *hilledGuerillaMan
over a year ago

In the monkey house

"Everyone was excited at autopsy club.

Tonight was open Mike night

Someone crack open another cold one.

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Why is 88 the lesbian couples favourite number?

Because they both get 8......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife is telling people that I'm always talking behind her back, and sometimes I'm pushing her around... Ffs sake what does she expect.. She is in a god damm wheelchair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then there was the time she asked me to make her feel special... So I gave her a helmet and a box of crayons..

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By *ltrMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Why do women get married in white

Because all good domestic appliances come in white

Sorry

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By *lint-EverhardMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

What's green and smells of pork?

Kermit's finger.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok I think this needs to stop now

To clarify, illegal activities are not allowed on the forum even in jest.

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