FabSwingers.com forum: Type of men that are attractive?

By *hamCouple30 OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

I read recently that women are only attracted to a small type of men. These men must offer value as women no longer need to rely on men for money and security.

Ladies, what would describe as the type of men you're attracted to?

Men, please pay attention as you might learn about what ladies really want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I shall do everything suggested in this thread

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Liberal, funny, doesn't take themselves too seriously, philosophical and quirky (usually geeky).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Liberal, funny, doesn't take themselves too seriously, philosophical and quirky (usually geeky). "

Noted

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

A strong minded, independent, quietly confident man, but not arrogant. Hard working and have lots of energy. A nice smile goes a long way nnd most of all, above all else, have a positive attitude to life with a fantastic sense of humour.

I'm so lucky that my husband has all of those qualities.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/03/21 09:35:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will do me and if the lady doesn’t like it then good luck to her... I’ll carry on living and be happy.

Just like I don’t expect a woman to change herself and manipulate someone to ‘catch them’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Confident, funny, witty, intelligent, heart of gold, thoughtful, independent.. Invested in my development

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Whilst I can understand that with changing times the rules of attraction may have changed - I'd be interested to read more (if you have a link?) as, if what you are suggesting is correct, it would mean a large number of men never meeting or finding a relationship with anyone, which obviously hasn't been the case so far.

Would also suggest that people don't have different things, from others, that attract them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I shall do everything suggested in this thread

You shouldn't have to change yourself at all. Can you imagine the response if the genders in the original post had been reversed?

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

Surely a cock the size of a sky remote comes into play??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm attracted to different things in different people.

Someone with good humour is a must though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I shall do everything suggested in this thread

You shouldn't have to change yourself at all. Can you imagine the response if the genders in the original post had been reversed? "

Noted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funny, not a racist, not a misogynist, outwardly focused as in not selfish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only thing I can say on this you shouldn’t have to change who you are for someone man or women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surely a cock the size of a sky remote comes into play??

I saw a status a guy posted once...asking for mini models of sky remotes. It cracked me up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whilst I can understand that with changing times the rules of attraction may have changed - I'd be interested to read more (if you have a link?) as, if what you are suggesting is correct, it would mean a large number of men never meeting or finding a relationship with anyone, which obviously hasn't been the case so far.

Would also suggest that people don't have different things, from others, that attract them "

There's a fair bit of research from dating and hook up sites which shows a small number of men get a very disproportionate amount of looks and meets, but male to female attention is much more broadly spread. This doesn't really translate into the real world as everyone needs somebody as the song goes, thank goodness!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honest, a clear communicator, open and aware.

Works on himself to grow.

Smiley and a positive outlook.

Independent, with his own interests.

Loving, kind, gentle (but not always), supportive and affectionate.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Only thing I can say on this you shouldn’t have to change who you are for someone man or women "

Absolutely. It's also often pretty transparent to try so doesn’t work anyway.

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton

"I shall do everything suggested in this thread

You shouldn't have to change yourself at all. Can you imagine the response if the genders in the original post had been reversed? "

So very true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A strong well mannered man, who has a wealth of knowledge, someone with plenty of energy, a problem solver, a calm nature and shows he genuinely wants to be around you and protect you.

That's all for me

Mrs C

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"Only thing I can say on this you shouldn’t have to change who you are for someone man or women "

Well said. You need to be able to truly be yourself in full form

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women: I just want a man to make me laugh!

Me, a funny man: Hi!

Women: hahaha, no not you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so confused. Should I be changing who I am or not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm so confused. Should I be changing who I am or not? "

I need to find some quirks.

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By *ewforestguyMan
over a year ago

England

"I shall do everything suggested in this thread

You shouldn't have to change yourself at all. Can you imagine the response if the genders in the original post had been reversed? "

exactly this. Plus everyone is different and has different tastes and likes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm so confused. Should I be changing who I am or not? "

why would you want to change.? Be you, be true

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

Slow down I can't write that quick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm so confused. Should I be changing who I am or not?

why would you want to change.? Be you, be true "

Because I'm a modern woke man. I have no independent thought.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 27/03/21 09:47:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Physically - Tattoos, some facial hair and definitely not a gym body. I like bigger built guys. Think rugby physique

Personality - Cheeky, strong willed and inhibition free. Caring when needed (good for when hugs are wanted) and intelligence. Ability to talk about anything and everything.

I feel like I'm putting out an advertisement here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men take note??

I am changing for absolutely no one and anyone who would try to change another person isn't worth sharing a whole life with imo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women hold the power when it comes to selecting in sex and men as a result often try to fit the model of what (they think) women want.

Unfortunately, women are often wise to that game and the men often get it wrong in any case. Be yourself is a good start, and if that’s not good enough then work on you. And don’t pander for heavens sake.

I quite like the Billy Connolly line on this though. Women need to feel loved to have sex and men need to have sex to feel loved, so somewhere in all that someone has to lie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is one of those questions that will get as many different answers as there are women.

Me, I’m attracted to a cute face, nice butt, left wing politics, not dominant/alpha, good clothes (not suits etc, not my thing).

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

If a man told a woman to pay attention and change there would be outrage

It's a two way street and imo there's no need for a guy to pay attention and alter himself to fit what a woman wants.

The same as no woman should alter herself to fit what a man wants.

Be yourself and at least the other person is liking the real you and not someone you're pretending to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one has said over 6ft yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can only assume this post has been posted to trigger the battle of genders again which is a common theme to get high responses.

It’s such a ridiculous concept. We as humans are so diverse and have such different experiences that to suggest what a person brings to a relationship across the board is all going to be the same. So many examples of how wrong you are really, and then suggesting guys need to change to accommodate is beyond ridiculous. Not only is that fake unsustainable but promoting misery to the person feeling they need to change. Imagine a painfully introverted type who is being told you need to be extrovert full of energy and confident... but then there are people who love introverted types. This whole concept is embarrassing and putting all people into a category. And if Fab has told me anything, it’s there are many versions of what people want

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Attraction is like a pie chart and various attributes make it a whole such as looks and personality etc. But the % of each variable differs from person to person but it always makes 100%. If you click you click no need to overanalyze in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one should change at all! Is that what this thread was about? Don't do it, be yourselves

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

He’s got to be big and strong

Enough to turn me on....on...on

Plus witty, dry humoured, good appetite for sex, dirty minded, kind eyes, outdoorsy, upbeat personality, enjoy cooking, not a dickhead....the usual.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Would also suggest that people don't have different things, from others, that attract them

Ah thanks for the context makes sense from that perspective to an extent and possibly reflects on both sides of the equation - perception and reality are often different though as you say.

Similar to the oft repeated suggestion on here that only gym fit, big dicked, adonises get a look in which we know in reality is not true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can only assume this post has been posted to trigger the battle of genders again which is a common theme to get high responses.

Who said men need to change? I don’t want someone to change to suit me, growing and transforming together is different to changing.

I didn’t see this as a division, or a gender thing, more a what do women like?

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I read recently that women are only attracted to a small type of men. These men must offer value as women no longer need to rely on men for money and security.

Ladies, what would describe as the type of men you're attracted to?

Men, please pay attention as you might learn about what ladies really want.

I highly doubt the journalistic validity of this article beyond click bait.

In my experience, women are attracted to a huge variety and diversity of people, based not just on their ‘value’ but them as a person.

Are we really saying that people only are attracted to the value in others, as opposed to their values?

Part of me wonders if this article is intended as a satire of how women were viewed a few decades ago

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

"Physically - Tattoos, some facial hair and definitely not a gym body. I like bigger built guys. Think rugby physique

Personality - Cheeky, strong willed and inhibition free. Caring when needed (good for when hugs are wanted) and intelligence. Ability to talk about anything and everything.

I feel like I'm putting out an advertisement here

I'd like to say that's me to a tee. But when I try to grow a beard the bugger takes off in the first strong breeze and I'm scared of needles so I'm a blank canvas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He’s got to be big and strong

Enough to turn me on....on...on

Plus witty, dry humoured, good appetite for sex, dirty minded, kind eyes, outdoorsy, upbeat personality, enjoy cooking, not a dickhead....the usual."

Damn, cooking ain’t my thing, the rest was in the bag, well apart from the not being a dickhead bit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can only assume this post has been posted to trigger the battle of genders again which is a common theme to get high responses.

Who said men need to change? I don’t want someone to change to suit me, growing and transforming together is different to changing.

I didn’t see this as a division, or a gender thing, more a what do women like? "

It clearly says men take note to learn what women want, that means take note and change your behaviours to suit what women want...

otherwise why do we need to know

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Also someone who gives you confidence in yourself by supporting you, believing in you, being there for you no matter what and being an anchor in life for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can only assume this post has been posted to trigger the battle of genders again which is a common theme to get high responses.

Who said men need to change? I don’t want someone to change to suit me, growing and transforming together is different to changing.

I didn’t see this as a division, or a gender thing, more a what do women like?

It clearly says men take note to learn what women want, that means take note and change your behaviours to suit what women want...

otherwise why do we need to know"

You may have a point, but equally it could mean, men think women find a,b,c attractive, but actually the truth is they find d,e,f attractive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also someone who gives you confidence in yourself by supporting you, believing in you, being there for you no matter what and being an anchor in life for you."

Also this

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Would also suggest that people don't have different things, from others, that attract them "

I’d have to search for the stats again, but I’ve read that typically throughout history about 20% of men were able to pass on their genes whereas around 80% of women passed on theres. It’s been the norm through out history that most men weren’t suitable and marriage and monogamy were things that were invented to try to artificially level the numbers out. It’s interesting stuff

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

"I'm so confused. Should I be changing who I am or not? "
No, don't changed yourself to fit into somebody else ideals or preferences but do try to evolve in your own peronal growth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can only assume this post has been posted to trigger the battle of genders again which is a common theme to get high responses.

Who said men need to change? I don’t want someone to change to suit me, growing and transforming together is different to changing.

I didn’t see this as a division, or a gender thing, more a what do women like?

It clearly says men take note to learn what women want, that means take note and change your behaviours to suit what women want...

otherwise why do we need to know

You may have a point, but equally it could mean, men think women find a,b,c attractive, but actually the truth is they find d,e,f attractive? "

Yep and that’s also my point, no one size fits all, and this is just a post of individuals saying what they like... and I guarantee most things mentioned are about being a nice human being for the most part, and that doesn’t just apply to men.

I read an article a while back about how biologically woman are more attracted to men who have a certain shoulder to waist ratio which is all to do with alpha dominance, protection etc.... but what about dad bods, what about the persons personality, I just think suggesting one size fits all and men should take note and adapt who they are to suit what people say they like is ridiculous and they will never be happy!

Could spend your life getting in shape, getting tattoos, growing a beard, being an outgoing confident guy. Then meet someone you really like and find out then like dad bods, hate tattoos and beards and prefer quiet laid back people. I just find the whole concept of adapting who you are to find someone completely absurd.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Somebody say "Really tall" please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can only assume this post has been posted to trigger the battle of genders again which is a common theme to get high responses.

Who said men need to change? I don’t want someone to change to suit me, growing and transforming together is different to changing.

I didn’t see this as a division, or a gender thing, more a what do women like?

It clearly says men take note to learn what women want, that means take note and change your behaviours to suit what women want...

otherwise why do we need to know

You may have a point, but equally it could mean, men think women find a,b,c attractive, but actually the truth is they find d,e,f attractive?

I agree, no one should change themselves to suit anyone else. I just read it differently to you.

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By *reatformeatWoman
over a year ago

my own bubble

Sophisticated well spoken . Dressed smart smells good , uses aftershave every day. Opens doors for you , moves chairs for you, buys you flowers and tells you how good you look , !!! Do they still exist or am I being un realistic ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm so confused. Should I be changing who I am or not? No, don't changed yourself to fit into somebody else ideals or preferences but do try to evolve in your own peronal growth."

How do I do that? Tell me!

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

"Somebody say "Really tall" please. "

holds breath

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

I find all types of men attractive, there is no one type fits all for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can only assume this post has been posted to trigger the battle of genders again which is a common theme to get high responses.

Who said men need to change? I don’t want someone to change to suit me, growing and transforming together is different to changing.

I didn’t see this as a division, or a gender thing, more a what do women like?

It clearly says men take note to learn what women want, that means take note and change your behaviours to suit what women want...

otherwise why do we need to know

You may have a point, but equally it could mean, men think women find a,b,c attractive, but actually the truth is they find d,e,f attractive?

I agree, no one should change themselves to suit anyone else. I just read it differently to you."

Fair, perhaps ive came here with the wrong mentality haha

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

All points noted, message me for my CV

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

"Sophisticated well spoken . Dressed smart smells good , uses aftershave every day. Opens doors for you , moves chairs for you, buys you flowers and tells you how good you look , !!! Do they still exist or am I being un realistic ??"

Problem is...they may do all this initially but the real guy seems to somehow smash through the fantasy veneer they hide behind.

Don't despair, the clues are always there just don't get swept along in the torrent of bullshit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Somebody say "Really tall" please.

holds breath"

I would think a lot appreciate tall men

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think "value" in men is a bad way to put it, it's probably more priority and power dynamic shifting.

I like intelligence, humour, humility, an awareness of the world and an ability to empathise and shift perspective. I have things I like physically but they're not nearly as important as temperament.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also someone who gives you confidence in yourself by supporting you, believing in you, being there for you no matter what and being an anchor in life for you."

I'm loving all of your forum posts today

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"He’s got to be big and strong

Enough to turn me on....on...on

Plus witty, dry humoured, good appetite for sex, dirty minded, kind eyes, outdoorsy, upbeat personality, enjoy cooking, not a dickhead....the usual.

Damn, cooking ain’t my thing, the rest was in the bag, well apart from the not being a dickhead bit! "

Now you’re just letting me down gently, because every other thread you mention you’re cooking something!

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

I’ve spent the majority of my adult life in relationships with women. Now that I’ve discovered some of the joys of single life, I’m very wary of changing who I am to appease a partner.

Over a long term your true colours will come out and playing a part to attract isn’t going to make a relationship work.

So I’ll stay being me and hopefully only attract those with the same mindset

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"Also someone who gives you confidence in yourself by supporting you, believing in you, being there for you no matter what and being an anchor in life for you.

I'm loving all of your forum posts today

Thank you. I'm just speaking the truth

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Somebody say "Really tall" please.

holds breath

I would think a lot appreciate tall men

I'm tall but I've only ever had one petite girl come up to me in a pub saying she wanted to climb me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me attraction doesn't have a look or a type ... but I find intelligence, good humour and integrity the most important things, imperative for longer term friendships! Luckily for me most fall down on those points alone!!

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I read recently that women are only attracted to a small type of men. These men must offer value as women no longer need to rely on men for money and security.

Ladies, what would describe as the type of men you're attracted to?

Men, please pay attention as you might learn about what ladies really want.

I find this incredibly sexist towards men, can you imagine the UPROAR if the genders were reversed?

To suggest people change regardless of gender is terrible.

Be you. If people don't like it then so be it, you can't be everybody's cup of tea

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I like a man who is confident without being arrogant who will speak his mind and give his opinion even when he knows it goes against the grain,but does it without resorting to rudeness and putting others down.Someone with a good sense of humour who I can have a laugh with is important. Add in a nice cheeky grin and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and a nice pert bottom and I'd be very happy .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Taking notes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read recently that women are only attracted to a small type of men. These men must offer value as women no longer need to rely on men for money and security.

Ladies, what would describe as the type of men you're attracted to?

Men, please pay attention as you might learn about what ladies really want.

I find this incredibly sexist towards men, can you imagine the UPROAR if the genders were reversed?

To suggest people change regardless of gender is terrible.

Be you. If people don't like it then so be it, you can't be everybody's cup of tea

Imagine if I put this

I read recently that men are only attracted to a small type of women.

These women must offer value as men no longer need to rely on women for housework and making sandwiches.

Men, what would describe as the type of women you're attracted to?

Woen, please pay attention as you might learn about what men really want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one has said over 6ft yet

It’s a myth bussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read recently that women are only attracted to a small type of men."

I'm a small type of man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read recently that women are only attracted to a small type of men. These men must offer value as women no longer need to rely on men for money and security.

Ladies, what would describe as the type of men you're attracted to?

Men, please pay attention as you might learn about what ladies really want.

I find this incredibly sexist towards men, can you imagine the UPROAR if the genders were reversed?

To suggest people change regardless of gender is terrible.

Be you. If people don't like it then so be it, you can't be everybody's cup of tea

Imagine if I put this

I read recently that men are only attracted to a small type of women.

These women must offer value as men no longer need to rely on women for housework and making sandwiches.

Men, what would describe as the type of women you're attracted to?

Woen, please pay attention as you might learn about what men really want.

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I read recently that women are only attracted to a small type of men. These men must offer value as women no longer need to rely on men for money and security.

Ladies, what would describe as the type of men you're attracted to?

Men, please pay attention as you might learn about what ladies really want.

I find this incredibly sexist towards men, can you imagine the UPROAR if the genders were reversed?

To suggest people change regardless of gender is terrible.

Be you. If people don't like it then so be it, you can't be everybody's cup of tea

Imagine if I put this

I read recently that men are only attracted to a small type of women.

These women must offer value as men no longer need to rely on women for housework and making sandwiches.

Men, what would describe as the type of women you're attracted to?

Woen, please pay attention as you might learn about what men really want.

Exactly!! Grips my s***!

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

"I read recently that women are only attracted to a small type of men. These men must offer value as women no longer need to rely on men for money and security.

Ladies, what would describe as the type of men you're attracted to?

Men, please pay attention as you might learn about what ladies really want.

I find this incredibly sexist towards men, can you imagine the UPROAR if the genders were reversed?

To suggest people change regardless of gender is terrible.

Be you. If people don't like it then so be it, you can't be everybody's cup of tea

Imagine if I put this

I read recently that men are only attracted to a small type of women.

These women must offer value as men no longer need to rely on women for housework and making sandwiches.

Men, what would describe as the type of women you're attracted to?

Woen, please pay attention as you might learn about what men really want.

Well said brother

errrrr I'm going now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tall, well groomed, confident.

Great sense of humour, the ability to not take life too seriously all the time.

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By *hamCouple30 OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

I like that this conversation exposes the fear that men have about being a more thoughtful person. "I'm not changing for no one"

This attitude will not get you far in life or love.

Women are always adapting to please their men, but the thick men just want it their way.

There are lots of single men and not many single ladies around. Look at this site as an example.

Men. Stay as you are. Selfish and thick. Women will find the good men. The caring loving and thoughtful ones.

I do feel sorry for the ladies that have to put up with these guys...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like that this conversation exposes the fear that men have about being a more thoughtful person. "I'm not changing for no one"

This attitude will not get you far in life or love.

Women are always adapting to please their men, but the thick men just want it their way.

There are lots of single men and not many single ladies around. Look at this site as an example.

Men. Stay as you are. Selfish and thick. Women will find the good men. The caring loving and thoughtful ones.

I do feel sorry for the ladies that have to put up with these guys... "

What do you say to the women that disagree with you?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I like that this conversation exposes the fear that men have about being a more thoughtful person. "I'm not changing for no one"

This attitude will not get you far in life or love.

Women are always adapting to please their men, but the thick men just want it their way.

There are lots of single men and not many single ladies around. Look at this site as an example.

Men. Stay as you are. Selfish and thick. Women will find the good men. The caring loving and thoughtful ones.

I do feel sorry for the ladies that have to put up with these guys... "

I disagree with that. I don't think anyone should have to change to suit someone else. Change happens organically or else it doesn't doesn't last, and people always change as their circumstances change, even if they say they won't.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

It’s an interesting one when most of the answers from women are basic stuff like well groomed, confident, funny etc etc

And guys are like “I ain’t changing for no one”

If your not well groomed change that for yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I shall do everything suggested in this thread

that might be very time consuming, i imagine we all want completely different things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like that this conversation exposes the fear that men have about being a more thoughtful person. "I'm not changing for no one"

This attitude will not get you far in life or love.

Women are always adapting to please their men, but the thick men just want it their way.

There are lots of single men and not many single ladies around. Look at this site as an example.

Men. Stay as you are. Selfish and thick. Women will find the good men. The caring loving and thoughtful ones.

I do feel sorry for the ladies that have to put up with these guys... "

I believe in the UK there are slightly more women than men, probably due to greater longevity. Presumably the number of single men and women is therefore roughly the same, the imbalance on Fab is not reflected in reality.

I'm not convinced calling people selfish and thick is the way to constructive dialogue but I'm open to changing my mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would also suggest that people don't have different things, from others, that attract them

yeah right swipes snd matches doesn’t mean anything other than superficially people think they look good

how that translates to successful relationships is much harder to track - people are attracted to much more than a good looking picture

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Handsome, check

Goals in life, check

Not a trump supporter, check

Funny, check

Modest, check

Full package BF material! Check

Girlfriend, error not found...

This is rigged

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can only assume this post has been posted to trigger the battle of genders again which is a common theme to get high responses.

this idea of creating insecurity is exactly why the type of articles the OP is referring to was written

the media drip feed sell you the insecurity so in future they can sell you the solution, all the while already drip feeding the next insecurity and the cycle continues

easier said than done but until we can all seek our validation internally rather than from others / society, the wheel will just keep turning

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Offer value?!? Women do not and should not hold all the cards. Relationships are a 2 way thing and both individuals should bring something to the table.

I absolutely hate this notion that men should conform to some kind of list and be grateful for any attention they receive.

What happened to equality?!?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Somebody say "Really tall" please. "

i am pretty sure my friend picked her husband solely on this requirement so you have a market out there for sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Offer value?!? Women do not and should not hold all the cards. Relationships are a 2 way thing and both individuals should bring something to the table.

I absolutely hate this notion that men should conform to some kind of list and be grateful for any attention they receive.

What happened to equality?!?!

Life happened, social media happened, influencers happened, online dating happened. The way we asses people now is very different to what it was 30 years ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like that this conversation exposes the fear that men have about being a more thoughtful person. "I'm not changing for no one"

This attitude will not get you far in life or love.

Women are always adapting to please their men, but the thick men just want it their way.

There are lots of single men and not many single ladies around. Look at this site as an example.

Men. Stay as you are. Selfish and thick. Women will find the good men. The caring loving and thoughtful ones.

I do feel sorry for the ladies that have to put up with these guys... "

This is a fine haul. Congratulations OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tall, well groomed, confident.

Great sense of humour, the ability to not take life too seriously all the time.

Tall -check

Well groomed - check

Confident -check

Great sense of humour - check

The ability to not take life too seriously all the time - check

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read recently that women are only attracted to a small type of men. These men must offer value as women no longer need to rely on men for money and security.

Ladies, what would describe as the type of men you're attracted to?

Men, please pay attention as you might learn about what ladies really want.

I find this incredibly sexist towards men, can you imagine the UPROAR if the genders were reversed?

To suggest people change regardless of gender is terrible.

Be you. If people don't like it then so be it, you can't be everybody's cup of tea

Imagine if I put this

I read recently that men are only attracted to a small type of women.

These women must offer value as men no longer need to rely on women for housework and making sandwiches.

Men, what would describe as the type of women you're attracted to?

Woen, please pay attention as you might learn about what men really want.

honestly i took the OP itself as tongue in cheek and then expected the thread to show what women want is all different- the article that inspired the thread however is what i consider to be crap designed to make people feel crap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Somebody say "Really tall" please. "

I said it! And I stand by it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has grumpy, likes cake, hates Christmas and getting on a bit come up yet?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I read recently that women are only attracted to a small type of men. These men must offer value as women no longer need to rely on men for money and security.

Ladies, what would describe as the type of men you're attracted to?

Men, please pay attention as you might learn about what ladies really want.

I find this incredibly sexist towards men, can you imagine the UPROAR if the genders were reversed?

To suggest people change regardless of gender is terrible.

Be you. If people don't like it then so be it, you can't be everybody's cup of tea

Imagine if I put this

I read recently that men are only attracted to a small type of women.

These women must offer value as men no longer need to rely on women for housework and making sandwiches.

Men, what would describe as the type of women you're attracted to?

Woen, please pay attention as you might learn about what men really want.

Yup. Fuck that noise wherever it comes from.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tall, well groomed, confident.

Great sense of humour, the ability to not take life too seriously all the time.

Tall -check

Well groomed - check

Confident -check

Great sense of humour - check

The ability to not take life too seriously all the time - check

But I thought you didn’t like this thread?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A strong minded, independent, quietly confident man, but not arrogant. Hard working and have lots of energy. A nice smile goes a long way nnd most of all, above all else, have a positive attitude to life with a fantastic sense of humour.

I'm so lucky that my husband has all of those qualities.

Mrs"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like that this conversation exposes the fear that men have about being a more thoughtful person. "I'm not changing for no one"

This attitude will not get you far in life or love.

Women are always adapting to please their men, but the thick men just want it their way.

There are lots of single men and not many single ladies around. Look at this site as an example.

Men. Stay as you are. Selfish and thick. Women will find the good men. The caring loving and thoughtful ones.

I do feel sorry for the ladies that have to put up with these guys...

i don’t think you should change your appearance or personality in terms of your likes and dislikes / hobbies etc for anyone else - those things make you “you”

but i don’t think its unacceptable to change things like thoughtfulness, selfishnesses, ability to communicate well, healing from your past trauma and the way that makes you approach personal relationships plutonic/ familial or romantic etc - these should be considered self improvement wether they get you a relationship or not you are then bringing a better version of “you” to the table

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By *hantasmagoriaWoman
over a year ago

Newport

Heavily tattooed and beards

love a man that makes me laugh, good banter! Sucker for green eyes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like that this conversation exposes the fear that men have about being a more thoughtful person. "I'm not changing for no one"

This attitude will not get you far in life or love.

Women are always adapting to please their men, but the thick men just want it their way.

There are lots of single men and not many single ladies around. Look at this site as an example.

Men. Stay as you are. Selfish and thick. Women will find the good men. The caring loving and thoughtful ones.

I do feel sorry for the ladies that have to put up with these guys... "

I can’t even with these utter drips

Thanks for your concern, I guess I am a selfish thick man because I’m interested in a woman’s values not just her value.

Because I hold my own self worth and time as equal to anyone else’s, and don’t deem her as greater than me but an equal. That honesty trumps manipulation. Because to be truly happy a person has to live their truth, and then someone with similar truths will match with them.

All people should aim to be the best they can be, should be good humans, but you are suggesting men need to manipulate their personalities to try con a woman to like them. Because woman only care about what value a man brings... so basically all women are gold diggers in your eyes.

Get back in your box

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I value all souls the same way, if you are nasty with no morals then you aren't for me.

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

"Somebody say "Really tall" please.

I said it! And I stand by it.

At last there’s hope for me

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

U can b all and everything and still not enough 4 some people x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like that this conversation exposes the fear that men have about being a more thoughtful person. "I'm not changing for no one"

This attitude will not get you far in life or love.

Women are always adapting to please their men, but the thick men just want it their way.

There are lots of single men and not many single ladies around. Look at this site as an example.

Men. Stay as you are. Selfish and thick. Women will find the good men. The caring loving and thoughtful ones.

I do feel sorry for the ladies that have to put up with these guys...

I can’t even with these utter drips

Thanks for your concern, I guess I am a selfish thick man because I’m interested in a woman’s values not just her value.

Get back in your box

Ouch.

I don’t think the post was that bad that it warrants this response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like that this conversation exposes the fear that men have about being a more thoughtful person. "I'm not changing for no one"

This attitude will not get you far in life or love.

Women are always adapting to please their men, but the thick men just want it their way.

There are lots of single men and not many single ladies around. Look at this site as an example.

Men. Stay as you are. Selfish and thick. Women will find the good men. The caring loving and thoughtful ones.

I do feel sorry for the ladies that have to put up with these guys...

I can’t even with these utter drips

Thanks for your concern, I guess I am a selfish thick man because I’m interested in a woman’s values not just her value.

Get back in your box

Ouch.

I don’t think the post was that bad that it warrants this response. "

Well i do, if this was reversed and we were saying the exact same things towards women it would be disgusting, so I see no difference. To attack men for holding their values and morales as high enough to not change who they are to please and manipulate women to be seen as more valuable.

We are not just talking about men being good and nice people but changing who we are based on what women say they value. Suggesting we need change who we are. Imagine saying that to a woman.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

I think men are winning hands down and women don’t like it. They don’t commit to women anymore and use the hook up culture to get what they want. To a lot of men, this beats getting married.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"I think men are winning hands down and women don’t like it. They don’t commit to women anymore and use the hook up culture to get what they want. To a lot of men, this beats getting married.

It takes 2 to tango. Hookup culture doesn’t exist unless both are taking part

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are not just talking about men being good and nice people but changing who we are based on what women say they value. Suggesting we need change who we are. Imagine saying that to a woman. "

Why does it always come back to “If the roles

were reversed”

If this had been a male saying it, I wouldn’t have no issue with it either personally, I don’t know about others. I can’t see anyone “attacking men” as you put it, I do see people posting their opinions, ones some may not agree with, but I don’t see any attacking.

Telling someone to “Get back in their box” for what is likely a harmless post is really over the top and is more like “attacking” than anything they’ve said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs"

plus must be sexy, fun and talented.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"I think men are winning hands down and women don’t like it. They don’t commit to women anymore and use the hook up culture to get what they want. To a lot of men, this beats getting married.

It takes 2 to tango. Hookup culture doesn’t exist unless both are taking part

Yes, agreed, but how many use the hookup culture and then end up hurt because when they find “the one” he isn’t interested in commitment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think men are winning hands down and women don’t like it. They don’t commit to women anymore and use the hook up culture to get what they want. To a lot of men, this beats getting married. "

I disagree. I think both men and women freely partake in hookup culture and casual sex equally.

Women are more sexually liberated & open than ever these days, marriage isn’t the “end goal” for as many women today as it was 30 years ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are not just talking about men being good and nice people but changing who we are based on what women say they value. Suggesting we need change who we are. Imagine saying that to a woman.

Why does it always come back to “If the roles

were reversed”

Telling someone to “Get back in their box” for what is likely a harmless post is really over the top and is more like “attacking” than anything they’ve said. "

Entitle to your opinion but I stand by mine, if I’m being called thick and selfish because I don’t agree with jotting down all the qualities woman deem as valuable and working towards them to find a mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But they didn’t directly call you thick did they?

You took that personally so your feelings are on you really.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

We are not just talking about men being good and nice people but changing who we are based on what women say they value. Suggesting we need change who we are. Imagine saying that to a woman.

Why does it always come back to “If the roles

were reversed”

Telling someone to “Get back in their box” for what is likely a harmless post is really over the top and is more like “attacking” than anything they’ve said. "

I don’t think it’s attacking men it’s just an unfair set of values we are expected to abide by and whether you can see it or not shouldn’t invalidate our feelings or perception of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are not just talking about men being good and nice people but changing who we are based on what women say they value. Suggesting we need change who we are. Imagine saying that to a woman.

Why does it always come back to “If the roles

were reversed”

Telling someone to “Get back in their box” for what is likely a harmless post is really over the top and is more like “attacking” than anything they’ve said.

I don’t think it’s attacking men it’s just an unfair set of values we are expected to abide by and whether you can see it or not shouldn’t invalidate our feelings or perception of it

Who is expecting you to abide by it other than the person in the forum who wrote the post?

Nobody is invalidating your feelings, you’re free to feel as you please. But if you’re taking someone’s general post as personal attack on yourself as an individual you probably need to ask yourself why you’re doing that.

If someone made a generalisation about women and I know I’m not like that, I wouldn’t feel the need to fly off the handle or even justify myself.

I find that strange. Quite a few men have responded and have not needed to justify what type of man they are, likely because they’re secure in who they are and don’t believe they are the above.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But they didn’t directly call you thick did they?

You took that personally so your feelings are on you really.

Well aware my feelings are mine, and I am responsible for my feelings, and I am also responsible for how I act on them... I still 100% believe what I’ve said. Based on how I have read and interpreted how they articulated their opinions.

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By *hamCouple30 OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Yet again there are men in this forum that show open minded thinking and a small minority that are closed minded and see women as a threat.

This is not men bashing as I'm a man posting (Leo). I'm am stick and tried of hearing and seeing the way men trey women and their expectations.

This post was asking what ladies find attractive in a man. The men who fear this question are very aggressive in their response.

I don't remember asking for men to respond at all.

This is an opportunity for men to learn and present their qualities. I'm asking for tricks or witch craft. Just feedback for men to get on with ladies.

This was not a battle of the sexes but a refocus.

And yes, some of comments from a few men are Thick and Thuggish

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By *hamCouple30 OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

We are not just talking about men being good and nice people but changing who we are based on what women say they value. Suggesting we need change who we are. Imagine saying that to a woman.

Why does it always come back to “If the roles

were reversed”

Telling someone to “Get back in their box” for what is likely a harmless post is really over the top and is more like “attacking” than anything they’ve said.

Endlessly single material

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think men are winning hands down and women don’t like it. They don’t commit to women anymore and use the hook up culture to get what they want. To a lot of men, this beats getting married.

I disagree. I think both men and women freely partake in hookup culture and casual sex equally.

Women are more sexually liberated & open than ever these days, marriage isn’t the “end goal” for as many women today as it was 30 years ago. "

agreed

its not a case of men winning vs women thing , its a freedom of choice is now catching up with society telling you that you must settle down and fit in a box thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are not just talking about men being good and nice people but changing who we are based on what women say they value. Suggesting we need change who we are. Imagine saying that to a woman.

Why does it always come back to “If the roles

were reversed”

Telling someone to “Get back in their box” for what is likely a harmless post is really over the top and is more like “attacking” than anything they’ve said.

Endlessly single material "

does this assume endlessly single can’t be someones goal?

i would rather be endlessly single than have to contort myself into a version that someone else desires

i think i have seen plenty posts on the forums that would suggest i an not alone in this thinking, even from folk who have previously been married so at some point must have thought differently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tall, well groomed, confident.

Great sense of humour, the ability to not take life too seriously all the time.

Tall -check

Well groomed - check

Confident -check

Great sense of humour - check

The ability to not take life too seriously all the time - check

But I thought you didn’t like this thread?

I was taking the piss

Plus I'm already all of those things so dont need to change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quietly confident.

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

"Quietly confident.

About...?

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Non drama attracting, confident and emotionally Intelligent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quietly confident.

About...?

I mean the vibe you are giving out when around other people. That reassuring calmness where you make people listen to you despite of not being loud or using flashy words. Making your point known with a great eloquence, but also humbleness. Its hard to pinpoint really

I know when I see.

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

"Quietly confident.

About...?

I know when I see.

Very well put across

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs

plus must be sexy, fun and talented."

Add to the above..honest...

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By *ucidityWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I read recently that women are only attracted to a small type of men. These men must offer value as women no longer need to rely on men for money and security.

Ladies, what would describe as the type of men you're attracted to?

Men, please pay attention as you might learn about what ladies really want.

Self aware, knowledge of trauma and triggers, goes to therapy, actively anti-opression, good communication skills, will do some a fair share of emotional labour.

And...must love dogs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To go against what are mostly typical posts you would expect to see on a thread such as this ...

All the good and desirable qualities mentioned hardly ever come into play if someone is thinking of coupling up as an item if one of the people is financially secure and the other does not have a pot to piss in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quietly confident.

About...?

Bitcoin

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

".. Invested in my development

I like that, no one should change for anyone but themselves, but confident people always look for a mentor to support and encourage them to develop further.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not an independent woman so I am happy with any man that has at least £12.99 in his bank account. I have high standards.

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

"I'm not an independent woman so I am happy with any man that has at least £12.99 in his bank account. I have high standards. "

Why £12.99 exactly something special in mind?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not an independent woman so I am happy with any man that has at least £12.99 in his bank account. I have high standards. "

Damn!!!!

I only have £12.95

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not an independent woman so I am happy with any man that has at least £12.99 in his bank account. I have high standards. "

10p short

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I'm not an independent woman so I am happy with any man that has at least £12.99 in his bank account. I have high standards.

10p short

10p???

Im £12.98 short and have low standards. Im knackered.

But my heart huge.

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By *TJxComboMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"I'm not an independent woman so I am happy with any man that has at least £12.99 in his bank account. I have high standards.

Why £12.99 exactly something special in mind?"

Pays for the Netflix

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not an independent woman so I am happy with any man that has at least £12.99 in his bank account. I have high standards. "

Bank balance £13

Outstanding bills £5388

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not an independent woman so I am happy with any man that has at least £12.99 in his bank account. I have high standards.

10p short

10p???

Im £12.98 short and have low standards. Im knackered.

But my heart huge.

And so is your cock!

But yes as TJCombo said it pays for Netflix and if you can provide me with the ultimate luxury Netflix experience I know that I will be taken care of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tall, well groomed, confident.

Great sense of humour, the ability to not take life too seriously all the time.

Tall -check

Well groomed - check

Confident -check

Great sense of humour - check

The ability to not take life too seriously all the time - check

But I thought you didn’t like this thread?

I was taking the piss

Plus I'm already all of those things so dont need to change

I’ll find something to make you change!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not an independent woman so I am happy with any man that has at least £12.99 in his bank account. I have high standards.

Why £12.99 exactly something special in mind?"

Well its not a Netflix premium subscription or a Dominos any pizza, any size offer as they are both £13.99.

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By *xhibitionistbenMan
over a year ago

Ware / Kings Cross

"Funny, not a racist, not a misogynist, outwardly focused as in not selfish. "

It’s a shame that “not a racist, not a misogynist” even needs to be mentioned - that should be a given but unfortunately there are those kinds of morons everywhere.

Personally I wouldn’t change for the sole reason of meeting one woman’s demands. I always try to be a better person, limit the traits in myself I don’t like so much and amplify the ones I do like. If that works for someone, great! If not, I’m sure they’ll find someone right for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To go against what are mostly typical posts you would expect to see on a thread such as this ...

i am one of those people but its because past experience has taught me it can make a relationship very difficult

if i was with someone and circumstances changed for them and they became financially insecure i would already be invested in them and wouldn’t break up with them over it

but when starting something new, yes i like folk to have a pot to piss in - they only need to have their own pot though, they don’t need a second one for me as i will bring my own

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I read recently that women are only attracted to a small type of men. These men must offer value as women no longer need to rely on men for money and security.

Ladies, what would describe as the type of men you're attracted to?

Men, please pay attention as you might learn about what ladies really want.

Self aware, knowledge of trauma and triggers, goes to therapy, actively anti-opression, good communication skills, will do some a fair share of emotional labour.

And...must love dogs. "

Fuck I just came

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont have a prescribed list, its indefinable x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find very tall and skinny dudes incredibly sexy ????

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By *harisajidanWoman
over a year ago

london

Non-physical traits: Confident, makes an effort, consistent, pays attention to detail, takes initiative, decisive, empathetic and a good sense of humor.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Non-physical traits: Confident, makes an effort, consistent, pays attention to detail, takes initiative, decisive, empathetic and a good sense of humor. "

Hey, I’d like to message you please Sharisa xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Non-physical traits: Confident, makes an effort, consistent, pays attention to detail, takes initiative, decisive, empathetic and a good sense of humor.

Hey, I’d like to message you please Sharisa xxx"

you should be after the poster who said some women like a,b,c... others like d,e,f

they know exactly who is into you

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I find very tall and skinny dudes incredibly sexy ????"

I'll get me coat.

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

"I find very tall and skinny dudes incredibly sexy ????

I'll get me coat.

Don’t leave yet mate

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Somebody say "Really tall" please.

I said it! And I stand by it.

Hurrah! Thank you.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I find very tall and skinny dudes incredibly sexy ????"

Double hurrah! Thank you, too.

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By *ad Bod AdonisMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Women: I just want a man to make me laugh!

Me, a funny man: Hi!

Women: hahaha, no not you!"

Very true. I've always been able to make women laugh but that's never translated into success in attracting thrm.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Self aware, knowledge of trauma and triggers, goes to therapy, actively anti-opression, good communication skills, will do some a fair share of emotional labour.

And...must love dogs."

I've seen it suggested recently that expecting someone to attend therapy is inherently classist. That might have come from an American, though, and I'm not sure what NHS provision for therapy is like. Probably grotesquely underfunded.

Otherwise, five out seven isn't bad, is it?

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By *ucidityWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Self aware, knowledge of trauma and triggers, goes to therapy, actively anti-opression, good communication skills, will do some a fair share of emotional labour.

And...must love dogs.

Otherwise, five out seven isn't bad, is it? "

That’s an interesting point, if someone’s financial situation prevents them from access to therapy (and NHS services are a postcode lottery) I wouldn’t hold that against them.

If someone does have the disposable income however, I see it in a similar vein to a gym membership. It’s an investment in yourself and your well being.

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By *ad Bod AdonisMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Self aware, knowledge of trauma and triggers, goes to therapy, actively anti-opression, good communication skills, will do some a fair share of emotional labour.

And...must love dogs.

Otherwise, five out seven isn't bad, is it?

That’s an interesting point, if someone’s financial situation prevents them from access to therapy (and NHS services are a postcode lottery) I wouldn’t hold that against them.

If someone does have the disposable income however, I see it in a similar vein to a gym membership. It’s an investment in yourself and your well being.

Well I'm half way there. I've had therapy but never had a gym membership.

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By *ucidityWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I read recently that women are only attracted to a small type of men. These men must offer value as women no longer need to rely on men for money and security.

Ladies, what would describe as the type of men you're attracted to?

Men, please pay attention as you might learn about what ladies really want.

Self aware, knowledge of trauma and triggers, goes to therapy, actively anti-opression, good communication skills, will do some a fair share of emotional labour.

And...must love dogs.

Fuck I just came

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By *ucidityWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Self aware, knowledge of trauma and triggers, goes to therapy, actively anti-opression, good communication skills, will do some a fair share of emotional labour.

And...must love dogs.

Otherwise, five out seven isn't bad, is it?

That’s an interesting point, if someone’s financial situation prevents them from access to therapy (and NHS services are a postcode lottery) I wouldn’t hold that against them.

If someone does have the disposable income however, I see it in a similar vein to a gym membership. It’s an investment in yourself and your well being.

Well I'm half way there. I've had therapy but never had a gym membership. "

Haha, I haven’t had one for a long time. Rescued a dog instead.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I see it in a similar vein to a gym membership. It’s an investment in yourself and your well being.

That's an interesting comparison – especially given that both can do more harm than good, and can directly compromise a person's well-being.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Self aware, knowledge of trauma and triggers, goes to therapy, actively anti-opression, good communication skills, will do some a fair share of emotional labour.

And...must love dogs.

Otherwise, five out seven isn't bad, is it? "

It's definitely true. I think we can probably sub out therapy for introspection/working on your shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apart from all the usual cobblers I love to listen to stories of life experiences. Doesnt have to be wild and wonderful stuff but just someone that can talk in an interesting way about things in their life.

I'm not sure you could or should ever become a person that you are not just to please somebody else though. That's just obvious though isn't it.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

In response to the discussion of whether or not one should change for other people: Here's a bit of advice given by a guy I knew at uni. He's handsome, charming, successful at everything he puts his mind to, better than me in every way, and has had a *mindboggling* number of sexual partners.

"Be yourself, but be the *version* of yourself that they can handle."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In response to the discussion of whether or not one should change for other people: Here's a bit of advice given by a guy I knew at uni. He's handsome, charming, successful at everything he puts his mind to, better than me in every way, and has had a *mindboggling* number of sexual partners.

"Be yourself, but be the *version* of yourself that they can handle.""

But will he ever be able to find the one to love him and him her/him if he wanted to. Does lots of encounters make him feel better than just one person to share his marvellousness with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Funny, not a racist, not a misogynist, outwardly focused as in not selfish. "
That's me out then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Funny, not a racist, not a misogynist, outwardly focused as in not selfish. That's me out then

LOL!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Funny, not a racist, not a misogynist, outwardly focused as in not selfish. That's me out then

hopefully only because of a failed stand up career

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Be yourself, but be the *version* of yourself that they can handle."

But will he ever be able to find the one to love him and him her/him if he wanted to. Does lots of encounters make him feel better than just one person to share his marvellousness with

Yes. She's one of the most attractive women I've ever met, and generally wonderful in every way.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Be yourself, but be the *version* of yourself that they can handle.""

I like this.

I'd perhaps add "consider if you can be that version of yourself with them". That speaks to if they work for you as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs

plus must be sexy, fun and talented.

Add to the above..honest..."

Oh yes very important if for ongoing fun. Severely lacking in some Fab men I have chatted to and a few I have met

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To go against what are mostly typical posts you would expect to see on a thread such as this ...

I have no interest in how a man is financially and I think you will find most independent women who do not want to co-habit would feel the same. Single Fab women are not all gold diggers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not an independent woman so I am happy with any man that has at least £12.99 in his bank account. I have high standards.

10p short

10p???

Im £12.98 short and have low standards. Im knackered.

But my heart huge.

Not surprised - strawberries and cream are expensive this time of year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m just thankful that there are all these perfect people out there in fab land to tell us what is attractive.

I, for one, have only been successfully adulting for twenty something years so it’s all a bit new.

Thank you everyone for another thread to tell men what you think they should be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not an independent woman so I am happy with any man that has at least £12.99 in his bank account. I have high standards.

Why £12.99 exactly something special in mind?

Pays for the Netflix "

Mine is only £5.99

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