FabSwingers.com forum: Your Ashes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I read today that Lemmy had his ashes delivered to friends in bullets , total legend !

Any ideas on what you would like to happen to yours ?

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Mine can go in the bin.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Scattered. I don’t want any final resting place for people to feel obliged to visit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Scattered. I don’t want any final resting place for people to feel obliged to visit. "

Ditto

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Sorry, I thought this was about Cricket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like mine to be put in a firework so I can go out with a bang

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I (Luke) am not planning on being cremated. I'm looking into being buried at sea. It's one of the most environmentally friendly methods there is. Eventually nothing is left. It all goes back into nature and the big circle of life.

Hannah wants to be buried under a tree to feed it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I would like a sky burial but I don't think that's allowed in uk. Failing that there's a huge oak tree in Ashdown Forest I'd quite like to spend eternity under.

If you walk along the top of Beachy Head you sometimes find little heaps of ashes. I hope my breath, I don't want to be inhaling someone's grandad.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

*Hold my breath

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*Hold my breath"

For 54 minutes?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like my ashes to be made into a diamond. That diamond would be encrusted into a dildo that will go up Kitty's vaj. I might make it onto page one of Hot Photos. I might make it up her bum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I might be badly stuffed, as in life

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Scattered. I don’t want any final resting place for people to feel obliged to visit.

Ditto

Pretty much this for me. Also I don't want anyone feeling guilt if they haven't been up to my grave.

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By *torm in a G cupWoman
over a year ago

Land of the Long White Cloud

Burial at sea sounds perfect. Failing that my ashes scattered at my favourite Lake here in NZ.

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By *roticusCouple
over a year ago

Porthmadog

I've already organised mine. In a huge starshell by a well known firework manufacturer. Come sunset I'll go out in the biggest bang my part of North Wales has seen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d like to be made into a dildo so I can still fuck

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By *roticusCouple
over a year ago

Porthmadog

"I'd like mine to be put in a firework so I can go out with a bang

Sorry, didn't see the post, snap!

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

This actually happened to me, no shit! I met a woman on a straight dating site from near Castle Coombe. Although we met at a pub, the chemistry was good, and so she asked me back for coffee. She had a beautiful place with a big inglenook fireplace which was roaring. The conversation led on to her late brother who died of alcoholism. Very sad, but then as we got intimate on the sofa, she told me that her brother was watching us! Then she pointed up to the mantlepiece, and said, "That's his ashes there, I keep them with me, and that way my brother never leaves me!" Needless to say there wasn't a second date. Not long after that, I got to meeting a lady from Cardiff who invited me round for supper and I wasn't in the house ten minutes when I thought that she was having an epileptic seizure. Nothing quite that simple, she had only gone into a trance to talk to the dead! Now I've been watched, photographed and filmed over the years, but the idea of being watched by ghosts, one with his ashes on the mantlepiece, entrenches my firm belief that some of these people on straight dating sites make us swingers seem frighteningly normal, unless of course you think different, and that it's good idea to have your ashes on display at parties after your number is up, and you can be there as well.

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

"Scattered. I don’t want any final resting place for people to feel obliged to visit. "
Same here.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

I want a green burial, make new life from me

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By *aggy40Man
over a year ago

Nuneaton

"I've already organised mine. In a huge starshell by a well known firework manufacturer. Come sunset I'll go out in the biggest bang my part of North Wales has seen."

I'm the same!!!!

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

I want to be put in one of those confetti cannons they use at those stupid bloody gender reveal parties and just launched over a crowd of people I don't like

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I'll be dead and won't give a fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (Mrs) want scattering along the local beach so my family can go to our happy place and have a chat with me, my husband wants his ashes scattering at sea (navy officer)

That's cheered me up no end first thing in a morning

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I've told my kids I want them scattered over the cliff at blackgang chine IOW x

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Scattered. I don’t want any final resting place for people to feel obliged to visit.

Ditto

Pretty much this for me. Also I don't want anyone feeling guilt if they haven't been up to my grave."

Yes I've told mine dont put me in a grave yard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d have my ashes turned into a diamond or a couple of diamonds. There is a a company in the U.K. that does this.

Then I’d have a lady have me so I am put onto a clit piercing.

Or I’d have a couple have two diamonds one for a cock ring and she can have the clit piercing. Haha

I have an iffy heart so contact me if you would have me as a diamond.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scattered in 3 places.

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Scattered on my favourite beach, alongside my ma.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd like my ashes to be made into a diamond. That diamond would be encrusted into a dildo that will go up Kitty's vaj. I might make it onto page one of Hot Photos. I might make it up her bum."

Now we know who the diamond guy's friend was..

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

That's up to the people i leave behind. My mum wants to be scattered on the lake of Geneva.

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

Planted in with the roots of a young oak Tree taken from Ireland and replanted at my property in Spain, so when the kids/grandkids come to visit, part of me is there growing up on the hill. And there is the connection to Home.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

Honestly dont care. When I'm dead I'm dead. I told the missus just to put me in a cardboard box and leave me out for the binmen

Hate funerals with an absoulte passion and my only real request is to not have one. Just a wake and no one is allowed to be upset. I want morbid jokes at my expense and everyone complaining about what a miserable bastard I was

I've already opted to leave my body to medical science anyway. Quite partial to the idea of a medical student poking around in my innards or my skull ending up being used as a desk ornament.

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay

"I've told my kids I want them scattered over the cliff at blackgang chine IOW x"

Ashes right? I mean not the kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually couldn't care less tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ashes are going to be placed into a brick and put in the memorial wall of my footie team then it’s up to the kids to do what they want with the rest haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Planted in with the roots of a young oak Tree taken from Ireland and replanted at my property in Spain, so when the kids/grandkids come to visit, part of me is there growing up on the hill. And there is the connection to Home. "

Make sure they don't embalm your body though, all the chemicals seep into the soil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mine can go in the bin."

Yep me too but our bin and not yours obvs!!!!

Tony

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I want mine scattered in the sea at Largs up in Scotland, where I scattered my wife's ashes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read today that Lemmy had his ashes delivered to friends in bullets , total legend !

Any ideas on what you would like to happen to yours ? "

I'd love to come up with something so original that friends and family would put it down to me being eccentric. In reality, I'm more 'do not stand at my grave at weep' as it's the last thing I'd want people to do. If I knew I was on my way, I'd love a good "wake" / party to create great or new memories before I went x

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I want my ashes to be dumped in water, but I don't care if that means they're flushed down the loo or dumped down a grid. I just don't want them somewhere memorial-y that family might feel obliged to visit.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"...

I'll be dead and won't give a fuck.

...

Two posters there I can identify with.

I have no children and have made it known in my papers that I don't want a funeral.

What is is the true chance of actually getting your own ashes anyway?

My plan has always been that when I've had enough I will go far out to sea in a rubber dinghy with a sharp knife to puncture it and with weight on my body. That way the fish, crabs and lobsters will get repaid for all I have taken from them over the years.

My body won't get found so the sharks in the funeral trade won't benefit.

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

You do get your own ashes back. I did a maintenance job at a crematorium a few years ago, and saw the whole process start to finish. Only surgical steel from artificial joints goes in the bin, but gold teeth can be a perk of the job for the unscrupulous.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"You do get your own ashes back. I did a maintenance job at a crematorium a few years ago, and saw the whole process start to finish. Only surgical steel from artificial joints goes in the bin, but gold teeth can be a perk of the job for the unscrupulous. "

Thanks for the clarification.

Noted that your Jag is not gold!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Wallop me in a firework and send me skyward.

Or whatever the fuck anyone wants. Shit on them for all I really care.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd like my ashes to be made into a diamond. That diamond would be encrusted into a dildo that will go up Kitty's vaj. I might make it onto page one of Hot Photos. I might make it up her bum."

How I missed this I don't know

dear god Jim, there are no words hahaha

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

Make sure they don't embalm your body though, all the chemicals seep into the soil

"
I did not know that

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

"Wallop me in a firework and send me skyward.

Or whatever the fuck anyone wants. Shit on them for all I really care."
great idea

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By *illybeachboyMan
over a year ago

Guernsey

Is like to be scattered along the shore of my local naturist beach.

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Sprinkled onto a bed of onions where the best are entered into the annual show. Ash is a good source of nutrients. Competitive from beyond the grave...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want mind spread in my favourite place

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

I loved making sandcastles with my grandad. Mind you, the rest of the people in the crematorium were not amused.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made into fireworks along with some bluebell seeds and let off on my Sister in Laws house over the Welsh valley....

I don't want a funeral, just pack me off alone... then I want a garden party at dusk. And when the bluebells grow my boys will always be able to find me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want a Viking funeral. I just need to find someone that’s good at shooting flaming arrows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t know for sure.

I quite like the idea of my ashes being shot into space.

Or being scattered at Silverstone, but I doubt any race teams would thank me for that….maybe I could be put into the bitumen at the appropriate resurfacing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd like my ashes to be made into a diamond. That diamond would be encrusted into a dildo that will go up Kitty's vaj. I might make it onto page one of Hot Photos. I might make it up her bum.

Now we know who the diamond guy's friend was..

Funnily enough, i just read that and thought.... 'sooooo, how does being sewn into a pair of ladies knickers, grab ya??!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turned into pencils so I can be useful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd like my ashes to be made into a diamond. That diamond would be encrusted into a dildo that will go up Kitty's vaj. I might make it onto page one of Hot Photos. I might make it up her bum.

Now we know who the diamond guy's friend was..

Funnily enough, i just read that and thought.... 'sooooo, how does being sewn into a pair of ladies knickers, grab ya??!'

I got questioned about this comment today..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

are there laws where your ashes cannot be shattered?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

or scattered even ffs

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I'm tempted to donate myself to medical science, which is quite an odd thought for me, as I prefer to use natural remedies myself. I just like the idea of others learning from my body after I've gone. Fascinating stuff.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I really don't know what I want done with them but I know for sure I don't want them cluttering up someone's shelf or Mantle piece.

Although at this rate there wont be much to cremate as I'll die alone and my cat will start eating ms before I'm found

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We fired a good friend out of a cannon. Me, they won't even find my body..

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I'm tempted to donate myself to medical science, which is quite an odd thought for me, as I prefer to use natural remedies myself. I just like the idea of others learning from my body after I've gone. Fascinating stuff.

I looked into it, you have to qualify and be in a certain catchment area. Even if you qualify, depending how you die they may refuse the body and the family get left to sort things and have a funeral

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By *ussup73Man
over a year ago

Hornsey, North London

I want to be scattered over Disneyland.

I also don’t want to be cremated.

(Borrowed from unknown source)

Failing that I quite like the Hunter S. Thompson version of a burial.

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

When I’m dead, I’m dead, I really won’t care. It’s up to those left behind to decide what will make them feel best

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By *oxy babeWoman
over a year ago

gower

I have had a small amount of my late fathers ashes tattooed into my upper arm, it was tricky finding a tattooist who was prepared to do it at first though

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By *nfin8yWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

Scattered with my dog’s ashes. She was very special to me.

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

Thanks for the clarification.

Noted that your Jag is not gold!"

That name was actually given to me by a couple that I used to play with years ago. Her husband had a few reliable guys for gang bangs that he used to refer to as his A Team. However there was also a couple of Dave's involved, and he used to refer me as Dave Silverjag. The name kinda got around a bit, so when I uploaded the profile on here all those years ago, I thought that if I stick with that, one or two might recognise me, and they did.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"are there laws where your ashes cannot be shattered?

...

or scattered even ffs"

Probably not in or around reservoirs, not that they would amount to more than the metaphorical 'drop in the ocean'!

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"are there laws where your ashes cannot be shattered?"

You can’t do it in a royal park.

I know this because my ma wanted to be scattered in Regents Park.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to me vaporised. Not by a hipster. Just hooked up to electricity and back to the atmosphere.

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

I'm sure that everyone would agree though that when the coffin slides through the wall at the crematorium, it's "Very moving"

Cremation is also, "Very heart warming," and, "A glowing tribute."

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I don't care whst happens to my body...it's not like I need it after I'm dead.

Have told hubby he can bury me at the bottom of the garden

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I won't care. I won't be here and if someone does what I did with my husband's it'd be too funny.

My daughter went for his ashes and when he came home he was in something like a 2lb sugar bag.

I thought ..... fuck really ?

Anyway she said, What we gonna do Mum?

I said ... we will scatter them in the park next to the church where we got married. She says okay.

We got there. It was beautiful. We'd married in the Summer heat of 1976 and the air was full of ladybirds. Anyway .... Now it was Spring 2012.

She says to me .... is this allowed? I said .... I dunno.

She didn't want to do it , we didn't want to be seen so ..... I took over.

I put a hole in the corner of the bag and began to walk around like a hunchback as the ashes slowly trailed around behind me feeding the daffs n grass.....

I never confessed to my daughter that part of her Dad came home with us cos as I was letting go of him ...... bit went into both trainers......

R.I.P. xx

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"I don't care whst happens to my body...it's not like I need it after I'm dead.

Have told hubby he can bury me at the bottom of the garden

Typical, another job for ME to do

Cal

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"I don't care whst happens to my body...it's not like I need it after I'm dead.

Have told hubby he can bury me at the bottom of the garden

Typical, another job for ME to do

Cal

But you're so good at doing stuff

Nita

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd like mine to be put in a firework so I can go out with a bang

https://scattering-ashes.co.uk/sky/firework-display/

Although I'm always reminded of this cartoon

https://www.picfun.me/images/54d4b2b27669653435440000/send-everybody-to-crematorium-with-fireworks

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Mine can go in the bin."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The tree thing is something I want. They put you in like this hessian sack with a tree sapling and you get planted, as the tree grows and your body decomposes the tree literally absorbs you and your remaining family/friends get the coordinates of the tree and you can have a little plaque put on the trunk.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"The tree thing is something I want. They put you in like this hessian sack with a tree sapling and you get planted, as the tree grows and your body decomposes the tree literally absorbs you and your remaining family/friends get the coordinates of the tree and you can have a little plaque put on the trunk.

Sounds good but it bet it comes with a price tag commensurate with the greenness of the idea.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I’m going to risk it and be separated from bits of my ashes. I want my family to pop me in a bit of a keepsake or jewellery and then scatter the rest. Can’t tell you where though, it’s a secret

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won't care. I won't be here and if someone does what I did with my husband's it'd be too funny.

My daughter went for his ashes and when he came home he was in something like a 2lb sugar bag.

I thought ..... fuck really ?

Anyway she said, What we gonna do Mum?

I said ... we will scatter them in the park next to the church where we got married. She says okay.

We got there. It was beautiful. We'd married in the Summer heat of 1976 and the air was full of ladybirds. Anyway .... Now it was Spring 2012.

She says to me .... is this allowed? I said .... I dunno.

She didn't want to do it , we didn't want to be seen so ..... I took over.

I put a hole in the corner of the bag and began to walk around like a hunchback as the ashes slowly trailed around behind me feeding the daffs n grass.....

I never confessed to my daughter that part of her Dad came home with us cos as I was letting go of him ...... bit went into both trainers......

R.I.P. xx "

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Mine are going to be scattered by my sporting friends at a particular sports ground. I’ve left money for all my friends to watch a match in the hospitality, then they will go onto the pitch after to scatter them.

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

Second that

no cremation or ashes of me but this!

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Second that

no cremation or ashes of me but this!

This is what my husband chose for himself. He is in a willow coffin not a hessian sack and we can't put a plaque on the tree. Now, eight years later, the site looks like a normal wood and is very tranquil with wild flowers.

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

Second that

no cremation or ashes of me but this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cremated (mrs) and turned into diamond so that i can shine bright forever.

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