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Why dont all women breast feed?

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

Someone we know have got a new born and he thought it was strange why his partner didnt want to do it, whilst there could be several reasons behind it like they might not like it, what do you think and did you do it?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I did but I knew a lot of women who found it really difficult. Sympathetic midwives, health visitors and partners encouraged them to bottle feed of they found it too difficult. Having a new baby is hard and as long as they are getting enough nourishment and love it doesn't matter how.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I also think that partners who can't understand why new mothers stop breast feeding should have their nipples put in a vice four hourly for a week and see how they get on.

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By *ntman83Man
over a year ago

Walsall

My ex couldn't produce enough milk and our son was losing too much weight so we were told to start bottle feeding. I enjoyed it as it help to form a much more solid bond with him

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

I didnt get any milk so couldn't feed my babies

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I fed both of my children, one for just over 2 years the other a year.

Some women find it very painful, some can't produce enough milk and some just don't want to.

Personally I couldn't be bothered with making up bottles and sterilising everything. I did enough of that at work at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are 100s of reasons someone might not breastfeed their child.

It's not unusual.

Lu

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mostly its because Western society has sexualised breasts and women dont feed publicly in polite society- well thats an outdated concept hungover from the days when if you were rich you had a wet nurse and a nanny.

There are a range of medical reasons too, but the truth is mostly its perceived as too hard, or too time consuming.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

A whole multitude of reasons. Some women struggle with breastfeeding, some want their bodies back after 9 months of not being able to eat and drink and do certain things and don't want to continue that due to breastfeeding, some don't want to be the one responsible for all the day AND night feeds as the one with the boobs, for some it doesn't work for them due to returning to work, some don't feel up to it after a draining pregnancy/birth, for some it's just personal preference, some have issues such as invertered nipples, some don't want to deal with how some people can be offended by seeing breastfeeding, etc, etc.

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By *arakiss12TV/TS
over a year ago

Bedford

Humans are the only kind that bottle feed their babies if breast is not viable, in the natural world it's do or die, or maybe surrogate breast feeding from another.

Yeh breast is best but not fun if you get sore.

A friend of mine used to say bottle fed babies grow up to be grumpy facist dictators.

I don't think that's true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I breastfed but my daughter never latched on so I had to use a breast pump and my supply disappeared after five months as I wasn't consistent enough with pumping.

I think there's so many reasons why women don't breastfeed. My closest friend doesn't ever want to do it because she doesn't want saggy boobs. I know women who had very little milk, women who found it too painful, some babies will not latch on, some find it embarrassing and others who find formula the easier option.

I'd never judge anyone for not breastfeeding. As long as baby is fed and happy that's all that matters to me.

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

.

I breast fed both my kids for about two weeks. Even that was a struggle. I was producing so much milk and my daughter would end up soaked.

Latching on problems and hormones everywhere not a good combo.

I’d try expressing and there was blood once in the milk.

Far too painful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Free will. Next.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I breastfed our first for 13 months. I was criticised for continuing too long. . New parents particularly mothers are judged, criticised and asked to justify their actions whatever they do. I try whenever I can go tell them what a bloody excellent job they're doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had to give up breastfeeding after 2 months as I wasn't producing enough milk.

Personally, I think the pregnancy books have a lot to answer for, they make breastfeeding out to be something super glorious when it can be far from it.

My ex did very little to support me when I was breastfeeding so I found it hell. Constantly exhausted, drinking 4 lites plus a day, feeling like I was always sat with my boobs out and because I was doing 99.5% of raising our daughter and breastfeeding, it's a massive change to get used too which mentally took its toll.

If I were to have any further children, I would breastfeed for 2 weeks and then put them on to bottle.

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

I breast fed all 4 of mine, some longer than others but I’m telling you it is exhausting and can be extremely painful. It’s not just a case of pop the baby on. I’m fortunate I’m pretty stubborn and kept it up even when one nipple split. It’s not something to take likely and hearing horror stories people choose not to. Plus some women see their breasts as more of a sexual thing and don’t comfortable. It’s all about people’s personal choice and what’s best for them

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"I did but I knew a lot of women who found it really difficult. Sympathetic midwives, health visitors and partners encouraged them to bottle feed of they found it too difficult. Having a new baby is hard and as long as they are getting enough nourishment and love it doesn't matter how.

"
You are right there and yes so some could be as well influenced by the midwifes, yes, that is what matters the most too, the love

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Humans are the only kind that bottle feed their babies if breast is not viable, in the natural world it's do or die, or maybe surrogate breast feeding from another.

Yeh breast is best but not fun if you get sore.

A friend of mine used to say bottle fed babies grow up to be grumpy facist dictators.

I don't think that's true."

True but farmers bottle feed lambs for example if their mothers aren't producing enough milk, else they will die.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wanted to with my first but he just wouldn't take and after 18 hours of trying and crying a nice midwife brought some formula. Some babies just latch on and off they go but it isnt always that easy. With my second I went straight to formula and had a much less stressful time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did it for 18 months ..helped lose baby weight quicker ..I was 13 and half stone pregnant

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.

I did, but it's not as easy as it looks to men, and for some it can be extremely painful. Quite a few days I spent crying in pain as it hurt so much.

Some don't breast feed as they can go back to smoking and drinking alcohol quicker without it effecting babies food supply.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"A whole multitude of reasons. Some women struggle with breastfeeding, some want their bodies back after 9 months of not being able to eat and drink and do certain things and don't want to continue that due to breastfeeding, some don't want to be the one responsible for all the day AND night feeds as the one with the boobs, for some it doesn't work for them due to returning to work, some don't feel up to it after a draining pregnancy/birth, for some it's just personal preference, some have issues such as invertered nipples, some don't want to deal with how some people can be offended by seeing breastfeeding, etc, etc."

There are so many reasons why women don't and I don't think women should be ashamed or shamed for breastfeeding or bottle feeding - there's nothing wrong with either and it's about doing what's best for mum and baby.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"A whole multitude of reasons. Some women struggle with breastfeeding, some want their bodies back after 9 months of not being able to eat and drink and do certain things and don't want to continue that due to breastfeeding, some don't want to be the one responsible for all the day AND night feeds as the one with the boobs, for some it doesn't work for them due to returning to work, some don't feel up to it after a draining pregnancy/birth, for some it's just personal preference, some have issues such as invertered nipples, some don't want to deal with how some people can be offended by seeing breastfeeding, etc, etc.

There are so many reasons why women don't and I don't think women should be ashamed or shamed for breastfeeding or bottle feeding - there's nothing wrong with either and it's about doing what's best for mum and baby."

Absolutely. Fed and happy is best!

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I think bitty

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Simple thinking = woman has boobs, baby is born, baby feeds and grows, happy ever after.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah. My favourite topic. So many misconceptions around. That doesn't help to get right information. Lots of myths and goody advice do some harm too. And most importantly support. Women who got a good support are more likely to continue. It can be a painful and exhausting journey but also amazingly rewarding. In a country where less than 1% woman breastfeed to a year, it is hard to find your tribe who will give you the encouragement by example. Breastfeeding in public is covered now by Equality Act 2010 against discrimination, but women still hesitate in a fear of being judged. Or are actively discouraged by family or partners. To breastfeed in these circumstances is a challenge bigger than for those who were lucky to have minimal obstacles, correct information(not few conflicting advices) and non judgemental support on her journey as a new mother.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I did with both mine for a short while only. I went to work just weeks after they were born and it was not pratical to continue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Someone we know have got a new born and he thought it was strange why his partner didnt want to do it, whilst there could be several reasons behind it like they might not like it, what do you think and did you do it? "

So, he thought it was strange his partner didn’t want to, surely they’ve discussed this and will know the reason, surely he will support his partner with whatever she feels comfortable doing, also why discuss this with other people, why is it anybody else’s business but their own ?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many reasons, some cant and some don't want to and both those reasons are perfectly acceptable.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Someone we know have got a new born and he thought it was strange why his partner didnt want to do it, whilst there could be several reasons behind it like they might not like it, what do you think and did you do it?

So, he thought it was strange his partner didn’t want to, surely they’ve discussed this and will know the reason, surely he will support his partner with whatever she feels comfortable doing, also why discuss this with other people, why is it anybody else’s business but their own ?!"

I think it's important that we really dig deep and get right underneath the baby feeding choices of this family ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A whole multitude of reasons. Some women struggle with breastfeeding, some want their bodies back after 9 months of not being able to eat and drink and do certain things and don't want to continue that due to breastfeeding, some don't want to be the one responsible for all the day AND night feeds as the one with the boobs, for some it doesn't work for them due to returning to work, some don't feel up to it after a draining pregnancy/birth, for some it's just personal preference, some have issues such as invertered nipples, some don't want to deal with how some people can be offended by seeing breastfeeding, etc, etc.

There are so many reasons why women don't and I don't think women should be ashamed or shamed for breastfeeding or bottle feeding - there's nothing wrong with either and it's about doing what's best for mum and baby.

Absolutely. Fed and happy is best! "

There was actually a big campaign from breastfeeding charities discouraging use of that statement. Similarly as going away from outdated "breast is best". Fed is minimum standard but breastmilk is optimal - I believe that was their message. So you don't feel enormous pressure aiming for some breast is best impossible standard which is not needed in these vulnerable days, but also not to diminish the amazing things that breastmilk has and cannot be replicated. I guess just trying to find happy medium rather than polarise people? It's a sensitive subject to many.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A whole multitude of reasons. Some women struggle with breastfeeding, some want their bodies back after 9 months of not being able to eat and drink and do certain things and don't want to continue that due to breastfeeding, some don't want to be the one responsible for all the day AND night feeds as the one with the boobs, for some it doesn't work for them due to returning to work, some don't feel up to it after a draining pregnancy/birth, for some it's just personal preference, some have issues such as invertered nipples, some don't want to deal with how some people can be offended by seeing breastfeeding, etc, etc."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried on my first, I really wanted to be able to do it. But omg the pain added to that the fact my boobs were bigger than the child's head so it was difficult to get into a comfortable position for feeding as I worried I would smother him! I gave up after a few days sadly. But he thrived on the bottle and is now a healthy 7 year old. I didn't even try on my second. I had been so ill throughout the pregnancy, lost 3 stone in weight, so I was thankful to even have the energy to hold a bottle for him!

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"A whole multitude of reasons. Some women struggle with breastfeeding, some want their bodies back after 9 months of not being able to eat and drink and do certain things and don't want to continue that due to breastfeeding, some don't want to be the one responsible for all the day AND night feeds as the one with the boobs, for some it doesn't work for them due to returning to work, some don't feel up to it after a draining pregnancy/birth, for some it's just personal preference, some have issues such as invertered nipples, some don't want to deal with how some people can be offended by seeing breastfeeding, etc, etc.

There are so many reasons why women don't and I don't think women should be ashamed or shamed for breastfeeding or bottle feeding - there's nothing wrong with either and it's about doing what's best for mum and baby.

Absolutely. Fed and happy is best!

There was actually a big campaign from breastfeeding charities discouraging use of that statement. Similarly as going away from outdated "breast is best". Fed is minimum standard but breastmilk is optimal - I believe that was their message. So you don't feel enormous pressure aiming for some breast is best impossible standard which is not needed in these vulnerable days, but also not to diminish the amazing things that breastmilk has and cannot be replicated. I guess just trying to find happy medium rather than polarise people? It's a sensitive subject to many. "

I don't really understand how it's polarising. Breast is best would be polarising. As would formula is best. Fed does not specify how. Breastfed babies are fed. Formula fed babies are fed. In the nicest way possible, I don't really care if breastfeeding charities dislike if I say it. They're speaking from their own perspective and bias towards breastfeeding and are going to dislike anything that doesn't actively encourage breastfeeding even a neutral statement that could equally apply to breastfeeding or formula feeding.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"A whole multitude of reasons. Some women struggle with breastfeeding, some want their bodies back after 9 months of not being able to eat and drink and do certain things and don't want to continue that due to breastfeeding, some don't want to be the one responsible for all the day AND night feeds as the one with the boobs, for some it doesn't work for them due to returning to work, some don't feel up to it after a draining pregnancy/birth, for some it's just personal preference, some have issues such as invertered nipples, some don't want to deal with how some people can be offended by seeing breastfeeding, etc, etc.

There are so many reasons why women don't and I don't think women should be ashamed or shamed for breastfeeding or bottle feeding - there's nothing wrong with either and it's about doing what's best for mum and baby.

Absolutely. Fed and happy is best!

There was actually a big campaign from breastfeeding charities discouraging use of that statement. Similarly as going away from outdated "breast is best". Fed is minimum standard but breastmilk is optimal - I believe that was their message. So you don't feel enormous pressure aiming for some breast is best impossible standard which is not needed in these vulnerable days, but also not to diminish the amazing things that breastmilk has and cannot be replicated. I guess just trying to find happy medium rather than polarise people? It's a sensitive subject to many. "

Was just about to mention That campaign.

When I had my 3 I felt there was so much pressure to breast feed from the midwife, the health visitor and my in laws. That in itself put me off but I done it for around 3 months because I felt it was the right thing to do. I don't believe it makes much difference to the baby's health and development. I could only do it for that long because I wasn't making enough milk and my flip top nipples were screaming at me for hours a day!

We were all much happier when the formula was in the cupboard.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Someone we know have got a new born and he thought it was strange why his partner didnt want to do it, whilst there could be several reasons behind it like they might not like it, what do you think and did you do it?

So, he thought it was strange his partner didn’t want to, surely they’ve discussed this and will know the reason, surely he will support his partner with whatever she feels comfortable doing, also why discuss this with other people, why is it anybody else’s business but their own ?!"

Yes I thought the word ‘strange’ to be odd. At end of the day they are her breasts. Think the guy seems a bit weird!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A whole multitude of reasons. Some women struggle with breastfeeding, some want their bodies back after 9 months of not being able to eat and drink and do certain things and don't want to continue that due to breastfeeding, some don't want to be the one responsible for all the day AND night feeds as the one with the boobs, for some it doesn't work for them due to returning to work, some don't feel up to it after a draining pregnancy/birth, for some it's just personal preference, some have issues such as invertered nipples, some don't want to deal with how some people can be offended by seeing breastfeeding, etc, etc.

There are so many reasons why women don't and I don't think women should be ashamed or shamed for breastfeeding or bottle feeding - there's nothing wrong with either and it's about doing what's best for mum and baby.

Absolutely. Fed and happy is best!

There was actually a big campaign from breastfeeding charities discouraging use of that statement. Similarly as going away from outdated "breast is best". Fed is minimum standard but breastmilk is optimal - I believe that was their message. So you don't feel enormous pressure aiming for some breast is best impossible standard which is not needed in these vulnerable days, but also not to diminish the amazing things that breastmilk has and cannot be replicated. I guess just trying to find happy medium rather than polarise people? It's a sensitive subject to many.

I don't really understand how it's polarising. Breast is best would be polarising. As would formula is best. Fed does not specify how. Breastfed babies are fed. Formula fed babies are fed. In the nicest way possible, I don't really care if breastfeeding charities dislike if I say it. They're speaking from their own perspective and bias towards breastfeeding and are going to dislike anything that doesn't actively encourage breastfeeding even a neutral statement that could equally apply to breastfeeding or formula feeding. "

It's not about dislike or like I think. Just promoting facts about breastmilk and nursing benefits. They also support women with formula feeding and expressing and combining. So infant feeding. In its best form possible for particular family.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ah. My favourite topic. So many misconceptions around. That doesn't help to get right information. Lots of myths and goody advice do some harm too. And most importantly support. Women who got a good support are more likely to continue. It can be a painful and exhausting journey but also amazingly rewarding. In a country where less than 1% woman breastfeed to a year, it is hard to find your tribe who will give you the encouragement by example. Breastfeeding in public is covered now by Equality Act 2010 against discrimination, but women still hesitate in a fear of being judged. Or are actively discouraged by family or partners. To breastfeed in these circumstances is a challenge bigger than for those who were lucky to have minimal obstacles, correct information(not few conflicting advices) and non judgemental support on her journey as a new mother.

"
Its even harder once they are over 6 months, I fed until mine was over 3 and there was a lot of judgement and lack of understanding.

The worst offenders being family.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ah. My favourite topic. So many misconceptions around. That doesn't help to get right information. Lots of myths and goody advice do some harm too. And most importantly support. Women who got a good support are more likely to continue. It can be a painful and exhausting journey but also amazingly rewarding. In a country where less than 1% woman breastfeed to a year, it is hard to find your tribe who will give you the encouragement by example. Breastfeeding in public is covered now by Equality Act 2010 against discrimination, but women still hesitate in a fear of being judged. Or are actively discouraged by family or partners. To breastfeed in these circumstances is a challenge bigger than for those who were lucky to have minimal obstacles, correct information(not few conflicting advices) and non judgemental support on her journey as a new mother.

Its even harder once they are over 6 months, I fed until mine was over 3 and there was a lot of judgement and lack of understanding.

The worst offenders being family."

I feel you. I just did what I want. After all you are the one who needs to deal with consequences of all your parenting choices not them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Ah. My favourite topic. So many misconceptions around. That doesn't help to get right information. Lots of myths and goody advice do some harm too. And most importantly support. Women who got a good support are more likely to continue. It can be a painful and exhausting journey but also amazingly rewarding. In a country where less than 1% woman breastfeed to a year, it is hard to find your tribe who will give you the encouragement by example. Breastfeeding in public is covered now by Equality Act 2010 against discrimination, but women still hesitate in a fear of being judged. Or are actively discouraged by family or partners. To breastfeed in these circumstances is a challenge bigger than for those who were lucky to have minimal obstacles, correct information(not few conflicting advices) and non judgemental support on her journey as a new mother.

Its even harder once they are over 6 months, I fed until mine was over 3 and there was a lot of judgement and lack of understanding.

The worst offenders being family."

And other women, especially older women. That sour "I know what's best for your baby even though I'm a complete stranger" face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shag have you ever tried breastmilk?

You can buy it for bodybuilding!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ah. My favourite topic. So many misconceptions around. That doesn't help to get right information. Lots of myths and goody advice do some harm too. And most importantly support. Women who got a good support are more likely to continue. It can be a painful and exhausting journey but also amazingly rewarding. In a country where less than 1% woman breastfeed to a year, it is hard to find your tribe who will give you the encouragement by example. Breastfeeding in public is covered now by Equality Act 2010 against discrimination, but women still hesitate in a fear of being judged. Or are actively discouraged by family or partners. To breastfeed in these circumstances is a challenge bigger than for those who were lucky to have minimal obstacles, correct information(not few conflicting advices) and non judgemental support on her journey as a new mother.

Its even harder once they are over 6 months, I fed until mine was over 3 and there was a lot of judgement and lack of understanding.

The worst offenders being family.

And other women, especially older women. That sour "I know what's best for your baby even though I'm a complete stranger" face "

It works both ways. Why don't you top up formula. Why don't you express so we can give a bottle. Why you aren't using dummy. Why this Why that..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Shag have you ever tried breastmilk?

You can buy it for bodybuilding!"

I heard of it from a bodybuilder friend. I think he was just testing waters

I think in Mongolia it's quite common for some wrestles to do it too and for some mothers to find their expressed milk missing from the fridge. Totally different view in their culture. At least based on article I read years ago.

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

I was lucky enough to be able to feed all of my babies for an extended period. It was challenging, exhausting & painful at times, but also one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. There are many reasons why a woman can't, or chooses not to, breastfeed & she shouldn't be judged for it.

Ultimately the most important thing is that the baby is nourished and loved.

K

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Ah. My favourite topic. So many misconceptions around. That doesn't help to get right information. Lots of myths and goody advice do some harm too. And most importantly support. Women who got a good support are more likely to continue. It can be a painful and exhausting journey but also amazingly rewarding. In a country where less than 1% woman breastfeed to a year, it is hard to find your tribe who will give you the encouragement by example. Breastfeeding in public is covered now by Equality Act 2010 against discrimination, but women still hesitate in a fear of being judged. Or are actively discouraged by family or partners. To breastfeed in these circumstances is a challenge bigger than for those who were lucky to have minimal obstacles, correct information(not few conflicting advices) and non judgemental support on her journey as a new mother.

Its even harder once they are over 6 months, I fed until mine was over 3 and there was a lot of judgement and lack of understanding.

The worst offenders being family.

I feel you. I just did what I want. After all you are the one who needs to deal with consequences of all your parenting choices not them. "

Me too. Someone once said to me "you just seem to do things your own way" and it wasn't a compliment.

Why on earth we can't just support new parents to do what's best for all the family I really don't know.

When we had our second child the health visitor was incredible. She walked in to chaos, a two year old still in pyjamas at midday, an untidy house, washing on the radiators and dishes in the sink. I was on the sofa and the two year old was next to me with the baby on their lap. The health visitors first words were "amazing mother". I could have kissed her.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Ah. My favourite topic. So many misconceptions around. That doesn't help to get right information. Lots of myths and goody advice do some harm too. And most importantly support. Women who got a good support are more likely to continue. It can be a painful and exhausting journey but also amazingly rewarding. In a country where less than 1% woman breastfeed to a year, it is hard to find your tribe who will give you the encouragement by example. Breastfeeding in public is covered now by Equality Act 2010 against discrimination, but women still hesitate in a fear of being judged. Or are actively discouraged by family or partners. To breastfeed in these circumstances is a challenge bigger than for those who were lucky to have minimal obstacles, correct information(not few conflicting advices) and non judgemental support on her journey as a new mother.

Its even harder once they are over 6 months, I fed until mine was over 3 and there was a lot of judgement and lack of understanding.

The worst offenders being family.

And other women, especially older women. That sour "I know what's best for your baby even though I'm a complete stranger" face

It works both ways. Why don't you top up formula. Why don't you express so we can give a bottle. Why you aren't using dummy. Why this Why that.. "

Yep. Why are you feeling on demand, why don't you leave the baby to cry, why are you letting your baby cry for so long. Basically why aren't you the perfect mother shown in the ads, drifting serenely into the spotless nursery in a negligee.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Mine were rubbish at latching on so I expressed for as long as I could. Youngest vomited after every feed & ended up on a specialist prescription only formula. I refuse to be made to feel guilty for doing what I felt was best for my babies. Breastfeeding is not as easy as people think & bottle feeding with all the washing & sterilising is a ballache. Having a healthy, happy baby is what is important however they are fed.

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ah. My favourite topic. So many misconceptions around. That doesn't help to get right information. Lots of myths and goody advice do some harm too. And most importantly support. Women who got a good support are more likely to continue. It can be a painful and exhausting journey but also amazingly rewarding. In a country where less than 1% woman breastfeed to a year, it is hard to find your tribe who will give you the encouragement by example. Breastfeeding in public is covered now by Equality Act 2010 against discrimination, but women still hesitate in a fear of being judged. Or are actively discouraged by family or partners. To breastfeed in these circumstances is a challenge bigger than for those who were lucky to have minimal obstacles, correct information(not few conflicting advices) and non judgemental support on her journey as a new mother.

Its even harder once they are over 6 months, I fed until mine was over 3 and there was a lot of judgement and lack of understanding.

The worst offenders being family.

I feel you. I just did what I want. After all you are the one who needs to deal with consequences of all your parenting choices not them.

Me too. Someone once said to me "you just seem to do things your own way" and it wasn't a compliment.

Why on earth we can't just support new parents to do what's best for all the family I really don't know.

When we had our second child the health visitor was incredible. She walked in to chaos, a two year old still in pyjamas at midday, an untidy house, washing on the radiators and dishes in the sink. I was on the sofa and the two year old was next to me with the baby on their lap. The health visitors first words were "amazing mother". I could have kissed her. "

I have quite few little statements engraved in my head like that.. just makes all the difference when you feel like you are failing at everything and the mini world is collapsing. Zero control and embrace the chaos. And someone says its OK! And it happened to them too. And that's when you can actually get people to listen to you and be receptive of any parenting guidance..

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Ah. My favourite topic. So many misconceptions around. That doesn't help to get right information. Lots of myths and goody advice do some harm too. And most importantly support. Women who got a good support are more likely to continue. It can be a painful and exhausting journey but also amazingly rewarding. In a country where less than 1% woman breastfeed to a year, it is hard to find your tribe who will give you the encouragement by example. Breastfeeding in public is covered now by Equality Act 2010 against discrimination, but women still hesitate in a fear of being judged. Or are actively discouraged by family or partners. To breastfeed in these circumstances is a challenge bigger than for those who were lucky to have minimal obstacles, correct information(not few conflicting advices) and non judgemental support on her journey as a new mother.

Its even harder once they are over 6 months, I fed until mine was over 3 and there was a lot of judgement and lack of understanding.

The worst offenders being family.

I feel you. I just did what I want. After all you are the one who needs to deal with consequences of all your parenting choices not them.

Me too. Someone once said to me "you just seem to do things your own way" and it wasn't a compliment.

Why on earth we can't just support new parents to do what's best for all the family I really don't know.

When we had our second child the health visitor was incredible. She walked in to chaos, a two year old still in pyjamas at midday, an untidy house, washing on the radiators and dishes in the sink. I was on the sofa and the two year old was next to me with the baby on their lap. The health visitors first words were "amazing mother". I could have kissed her.

I have quite few little statements engraved in my head like that.. just makes all the difference when you feel like you are failing at everything and the mini world is collapsing. Zero control and embrace the chaos. And someone says its OK! And it happened to them too. And that's when you can actually get people to listen to you and be receptive of any parenting guidance.."

Exactly!

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

I had my children a decade apart (youngest is 10 now, so add another on).

When i had my eldest i was 15, standard stay in hospital was 4 days(min 7day for c section), within those 4 days, you had midwifes on hand to help with any issues, they made sure you knew how to bath, change a nappy, breastfeed which was highly recommended or bottle feed or even a mix if you or baby struggled or milk took days to come in, they would even help you bathe etc. That was everyone in the ward, still had tv room, which you were encouraged to visit when baby was sleeping too. Dads too btw if they wished (most didn't on my ward). Breastfeed for 8 mths, everywhere, no issues. Early 00's.

My youngest however, much worse birth, taken for a c section but was too late, major struggle to get her out despite only being 6,3. With her i woke up in recovery alone, was ages before anyone came in, given toast & tea, released next day. Even first time mums were unless there was serious issues & no time to settle or encourage mums into new roles.

What i see between the 2 is less staff/more patients, its caused issues for sure.

Many women arent supported these days to breastfeed.

One way to encourage a babies suck is to use your pinky (clean obviously), they should auto latch on & suck, some take time to get a grip of it.

As for your misses, only she knows how she feels as in pain wise and mentally, she should not feel embarassed by breastfeeding or bottle feeding, do what's best for you. the baby needs fed.

if she is breast feeding...cabbage leafs in freezer , helps with pain, moisturier for nipples and breast pads for leaks, she'll also to take time to extract milk usually via a pump (can help bring on flow) which need to be accepted by partner but by doing this it can allow the other parent the bond built during feeding and baby gets best of both.

Any way do what's good for you, forget the haters

And just for a bit of a giggle, breast full of milk will spray across the room.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

[Removed by poster at 22/03/21 10:47:13]

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By *reat me rightWoman
over a year ago

Rotherham

My daughter got my colostrum but that was it. No amount of anything would get her to latch on. Due to being shamed I then tried a breast pump. Despite producing hardly any milk. I was much happier- and my child much better fed from the moment I threw the pump out of the upstairs window.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

It's amazing how much scrutiny mother's undergo with what she decides what is best for her and her baby. May this be from general public or family members.

If you raise a happy child I salute you all. Motherhood is tough end of, we're all winging it. Xxx

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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

As long as a baby is fed, that's the ONLY important thing to worry about.

Too much pressure put on new Mums to breast feed.

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By *elethWoman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Relentless undermining of breastfeeding by formula companies, to the point where it is so rare in wealthy countries that children and adults, us, people, hardly ever see it or think about it, or have it modelled to us. This combined with patriarchal taboos around exposure of breasts in public has led to UK breastfeeding rates being some of the lowest in the world, with 1% of babies being exclusively breastfed at 6mos (the WHO's minimum recommendation).

I was surprised to discover that 81% of new parents initiate breastfeeding. The fact that that has dropped to 24% of new parents still breastfeeding at 6 weeks is a damning indictment of our society's approach to breastfeeding given that 8 of 10 breastfeeders' breastfeeding journey ends before they wanted it to.

For those interested, figures can be found at UNICEF's Baby Friendly Initiative website.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Relentless undermining of breastfeeding by formula companies, to the point where it is so rare in wealthy countries that children and adults, us, people, hardly ever see it or think about it, or have it modelled to us. This combined with patriarchal taboos around exposure of breasts in public has led to UK breastfeeding rates being some of the lowest in the world, with 1% of babies being exclusively breastfed at 6mos (the WHO's minimum recommendation).

I was surprised to discover that 81% of new parents initiate breastfeeding. The fact that that has dropped to 24% of new parents still breastfeeding at 6 weeks is a damning indictment of our society's approach to breastfeeding given that 8 of 10 breastfeeders' breastfeeding journey ends before they wanted it to.

For those interested, figures can be found at UNICEF's Baby Friendly Initiative website. "

Have you seen Tigers movie? By D. Tanovic. Worth the watch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Shag have you ever tried breastmilk?

You can buy it for bodybuilding!

I heard of it from a bodybuilder friend. I think he was just testing waters

I think in Mongolia it's quite common for some wrestles to do it too and for some mothers to find their expressed milk missing from the fridge. Totally different view in their culture. At least based on article I read years ago. "

I think I read that, its normal to feed until their palette changes and they lose their milk teeth around 8-10 years old.

I was a peer supporter, so I could go into many comments above and explain reasons why bf didnt work for these ladies, but I dont want to preach!

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

Parenting is one of those areas where there are absolutes right & wrong, but most is lifestyle choice and done right regardless will result in a well rounded capable adult.

In my house there is no limit of subject, so everything is spoken about and discussed, opinions and reasons behind & if they are wrong, corrected and why(news & dinner table is good for this), there are rules like look after your stuff, learn to be independent (cook, clean etc) (never know when i'll be gone, morbid but true), don't hurt others etc other than that my kids are a bit free rein in terms of allowed activities that dont involve screens...those are limited. If they get into wrong crowd or wrong activities the key is finding the root reason why, often it is trying to fit in.

Can be a bit wild in here but we've all got adhd ha ha

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

To summarise an essay I wrote; ultimately lack of support from professionals, support network and society. But within that there’s a million of reasons but most could be resolved from varying forms of support such as education for birthing people and their support network. Only 2% of birthing people are physiologically unable to produce milk.

I’m proud to have breastfed in total 4.5 years and aim for more soon. But that was not without challenges, especially with my first - I was fighting lack of support, being told breasts for sex therefore felt ashamed, lack of education. With my second I was much more self assured

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Someone we know have got a new born and he thought it was strange why his partner didnt want to do it, whilst there could be several reasons behind it like they might not like it, what do you think and did you do it? "

Shag what is it like in Sweden if you know? In terms of feeding in public or amongst family?

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land


"Someone we know have got a new born and he thought it was strange why his partner didnt want to do it, whilst there could be several reasons behind it like they might not like it, what do you think and did you do it? "

I did.

It's not always painfree, even before they get teeth. You learn their position is wrong, the hard way (seriously split nipple is a hard lesson)

It's all consuming. Even if you express milk it's still a 24 hour gig. Even if your breast are not really sore expressing milk can hurt. Breast pads and extra tops, you need lots, as milk leaks from you with the slightest movement. (Breathing counts)

It can be uncomfortable breast feeding when you're out of home. Yes there are laws now but I got tutted and pointed at in a Macdonald's, whilst discreetly feeding my daughter and drinking water because thirst

My son wouldn't take a bottle, not even my milk expressed, permanent day and night shift for me. That's hard for the first few months until they sleep a little longer.

So whilst I personally fed all of mine, I can understand new mums that don't want to and I sympathise with those that can't

Me, fixed in 2012

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By *elethWoman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire


"Relentless undermining of breastfeeding by formula companies, to the point where it is so rare in wealthy countries that children and adults, us, people, hardly ever see it or think about it, or have it modelled to us. This combined with patriarchal taboos around exposure of breasts in public has led to UK breastfeeding rates being some of the lowest in the world, with 1% of babies being exclusively breastfed at 6mos (the WHO's minimum recommendation).

I was surprised to discover that 81% of new parents initiate breastfeeding. The fact that that has dropped to 24% of new parents still breastfeeding at 6 weeks is a damning indictment of our society's approach to breastfeeding given that 8 of 10 breastfeeders' breastfeeding journey ends before they wanted it to.

For those interested, figures can be found at UNICEF's Baby Friendly Initiative website.

Have you seen Tigers movie? By D. Tanovic. Worth the watch. "

No not yet, I did have a go at getting it screened locally, but it didn't come off sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Relentless undermining of breastfeeding by formula companies, to the point where it is so rare in wealthy countries that children and adults, us, people, hardly ever see it or think about it, or have it modelled to us. This combined with patriarchal taboos around exposure of breasts in public has led to UK breastfeeding rates being some of the lowest in the world, with 1% of babies being exclusively breastfed at 6mos (the WHO's minimum recommendation).

I was surprised to discover that 81% of new parents initiate breastfeeding. The fact that that has dropped to 24% of new parents still breastfeeding at 6 weeks is a damning indictment of our society's approach to breastfeeding given that 8 of 10 breastfeeders' breastfeeding journey ends before they wanted it to.

For those interested, figures can be found at UNICEF's Baby Friendly Initiative website.

Have you seen Tigers movie? By D. Tanovic. Worth the watch.

No not yet, I did have a go at getting it screened locally, but it didn't come off sadly."

Yeah I went to first screening in London. The man who inspired the man character was present for Q & A. It was amazing and shocking. We tried getting it screened more locally, but they were on pause then for some reasons and not organising anything. I hope it keeps being viewed.

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

My little one was born early so had to be tube fed. I did, however, express milk for him. I left hospital before he did and my milk declined to a point where I didn't produce enough so he was bottle fed.

I did my best but bottle was better.

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow


"My little one was born early so had to be tube fed. I did, however, express milk for him. I left hospital before he did and my milk declined to a point where I didn't produce enough so he was bottle fed.

I did my best but bottle was better. "

This is really common, there's something about the separation that dries a mum up, which is unfortunate, still baby needs fed so that's what's best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fed both of mine for a while, but I just didn’t produce enough milk.

You wouldn’t look into a classroom and point out which ones were breast or bottle fed would you, it should be what’s best for the child and the mum.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It's amazing how much scrutiny mother's undergo with what she decides what is best for her and her baby. May this be from general public or family members.

If you raise a happy child I salute you all. Motherhood is tough end of, we're all winging it. Xxx"

Amen.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I wanted to, I had a c-section so was in hospital 5 days. On day 2 my partners parents turned up at visiting time and at that time my newborn wanted feeding. I was still learning, visiting time was limited, and in that moment I made a pressured snap decision. Have them seeing my tits and possibly judging how bad I was doing, moaning that they didn't get a chance to hold their grandson (ya know, with him being attached to my boob) or having them moan that they made the journey to the hospital and I didn't want them in at that time. So I caved and asked for a bottle to save all of that.

Looking back now I feel ridiculous that I didn't have the guts to say "I'm really sorry, but he needs feeding and I'm uncomfortable and still learning, now isn't a good time"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 22/03/21 12:00:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are many reasons why a mother might not want to and some of them can be down to circumstances not making it easy.

OP would you breast feed and then return to work and have to go off to pump milk every so many hours and during the night?

1st child I managed to breast feed for 2 weeks. I produced milk for twins apparently, I was well over a DD cup and engorged with it. I had no support, my mum walked out and disappeared not so long beforehand so I didn't have her either.

Second child I fed 11 weeks.

Had breast implants done.

Third child I fed 10 months. Aided by groups on the book page and a supportive partner

Fourth child 2 and a half years.

Breast feeding is hard, keeping up the food intake and water while sleep deprived can be tough.

Cluster feeding can be uteer hell.

Sore nipples that bleed and you still have to feed..... Bloody painful.

But it's also very rewarding and convenient once you've established it.

Teeth hurt.

Would you want to OP?

My 4th child has a condition and breast feeding her probably saved her from a world of hell as she got my antibodies. I'm glad I did it.

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By *elethWoman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire


"I wanted to, I had a c-section so was in hospital 5 days. On day 2 my partners parents turned up at visiting time and at that time my newborn wanted feeding. I was still learning, visiting time was limited, and in that moment I made a pressured snap decision. Have them seeing my tits and possibly judging how bad I was doing, moaning that they didn't get a chance to hold their grandson (ya know, with him being attached to my boob) or having them moan that they made the journey to the hospital and I didn't want them in at that time. So I caved and asked for a bottle to save all of that.

Looking back now I feel ridiculous that I didn't have the guts to say "I'm really sorry, but he needs feeding and I'm uncomfortable and still learning, now isn't a good time"

"

Ahh Peach, you were a new mum recovering from major surgery! You shouldn't have felt the need to fight to do what you felt was right for your family, amidst physical trauma and the disorienting upheaval of birth hormones. We failed you and your son, and I'm so sorry for that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I wanted to, I had a c-section so was in hospital 5 days. On day 2 my partners parents turned up at visiting time and at that time my newborn wanted feeding. I was still learning, visiting time was limited, and in that moment I made a pressured snap decision. Have them seeing my tits and possibly judging how bad I was doing, moaning that they didn't get a chance to hold their grandson (ya know, with him being attached to my boob) or having them moan that they made the journey to the hospital and I didn't want them in at that time. So I caved and asked for a bottle to save all of that.

Looking back now I feel ridiculous that I didn't have the guts to say "I'm really sorry, but he needs feeding and I'm uncomfortable and still learning, now isn't a good time"

"

And this time without auto correct.

Don't feel ridiculous for being a young, post-operative, new mother who needed time, understanding and patience.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I did for the first one, didn't produce enough for the other two so had to supplement with a bottle. My daughter has just had a baby and her milk didn't come in, so unable to breastfeed.

Breast is best, but mother's shouldn't be shamed if they don't want to or can't.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I wanted to, I had a c-section so was in hospital 5 days. On day 2 my partners parents turned up at visiting time and at that time my newborn wanted feeding. I was still learning, visiting time was limited, and in that moment I made a pressured snap decision. Have them seeing my tits and possibly judging how bad I was doing, moaning that they didn't get a chance to hold their grandson (ya know, with him being attached to my boob) or having them moan that they made the journey to the hospital and I didn't want them in at that time. So I caved and asked for a bottle to save all of that.

Looking back now I feel ridiculous that I didn't have the guts to say "I'm really sorry, but he needs feeding and I'm uncomfortable and still learning, now isn't a good time"

Ahh Peach, you were a new mum recovering from major surgery! You shouldn't have felt the need to fight to do what you felt was right for your family, amidst physical trauma and the disorienting upheaval of birth hormones. We failed you and your son, and I'm so sorry for that."

I was mad at myself for caving, not because it was what I wanted, but I really felt I let my son down at that time, for the sake of his grandparents being able to hold him right there and then and not have them moan.

I was so upset.

I don't think grandparents realise the invisible pressure.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I wanted to, I had a c-section so was in hospital 5 days. On day 2 my partners parents turned up at visiting time and at that time my newborn wanted feeding. I was still learning, visiting time was limited, and in that moment I made a pressured snap decision. Have them seeing my tits and possibly judging how bad I was doing, moaning that they didn't get a chance to hold their grandson (ya know, with him being attached to my boob) or having them moan that they made the journey to the hospital and I didn't want them in at that time. So I caved and asked for a bottle to save all of that.

Looking back now I feel ridiculous that I didn't have the guts to say "I'm really sorry, but he needs feeding and I'm uncomfortable and still learning, now isn't a good time"

And this time without auto correct.

Don't feel ridiculous for being a young, post-operative, new mother who needed time, understanding and patience."

For a ballsy bitch, mine had vanished

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

It can be very painful. I used to pump to give myself some relief and the milk was pink!

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By *elethWoman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire


"I wanted to, I had a c-section so was in hospital 5 days. On day 2 my partners parents turned up at visiting time and at that time my newborn wanted feeding. I was still learning, visiting time was limited, and in that moment I made a pressured snap decision. Have them seeing my tits and possibly judging how bad I was doing, moaning that they didn't get a chance to hold their grandson (ya know, with him being attached to my boob) or having them moan that they made the journey to the hospital and I didn't want them in at that time. So I caved and asked for a bottle to save all of that.

Looking back now I feel ridiculous that I didn't have the guts to say "I'm really sorry, but he needs feeding and I'm uncomfortable and still learning, now isn't a good time"

Ahh Peach, you were a new mum recovering from major surgery! You shouldn't have felt the need to fight to do what you felt was right for your family, amidst physical trauma and the disorienting upheaval of birth hormones. We failed you and your son, and I'm so sorry for that.

I was mad at myself for caving, not because it was what I wanted, but I really felt I let my son down at that time, for the sake of his grandparents being able to hold him right there and then and not have them moan.

I was so upset.

I don't think grandparents realise the invisible pressure."

I can only imagine. And I so wish your experience was rare. So many hugs for you, amazing woman

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By *elethWoman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire


"It can be very painful. I used to pump to give myself some relief and the milk was pink!"

It can be blue or green too, depending on what you've eaten

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It can be very painful. I used to pump to give myself some relief and the milk was pink!

It can be blue or green too, depending on what you've eaten "

And let's not forget liquid gold aka colostrum

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I'll add my tuppence worth later...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I wanted to, I had a c-section so was in hospital 5 days. On day 2 my partners parents turned up at visiting time and at that time my newborn wanted feeding. I was still learning, visiting time was limited, and in that moment I made a pressured snap decision. Have them seeing my tits and possibly judging how bad I was doing, moaning that they didn't get a chance to hold their grandson (ya know, with him being attached to my boob) or having them moan that they made the journey to the hospital and I didn't want them in at that time. So I caved and asked for a bottle to save all of that.

Looking back now I feel ridiculous that I didn't have the guts to say "I'm really sorry, but he needs feeding and I'm uncomfortable and still learning, now isn't a good time"

And this time without auto correct.

Don't feel ridiculous for being a young, post-operative, new mother who needed time, understanding and patience.

For a ballsy bitch, mine had vanished "

. The first few days of being a mother are really difficult. I think some of the pressure comes from ourselves but a lot of it comes from outside. When our second was born Mr N wouldn't let anyone in the house for a week except the doctor and midwife .

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I wanted to, I had a c-section so was in hospital 5 days. On day 2 my partners parents turned up at visiting time and at that time my newborn wanted feeding. I was still learning, visiting time was limited, and in that moment I made a pressured snap decision. Have them seeing my tits and possibly judging how bad I was doing, moaning that they didn't get a chance to hold their grandson (ya know, with him being attached to my boob) or having them moan that they made the journey to the hospital and I didn't want them in at that time. So I caved and asked for a bottle to save all of that.

Looking back now I feel ridiculous that I didn't have the guts to say "I'm really sorry, but he needs feeding and I'm uncomfortable and still learning, now isn't a good time"

And this time without auto correct.

Don't feel ridiculous for being a young, post-operative, new mother who needed time, understanding and patience.

For a ballsy bitch, mine had vanished

. The first few days of being a mother are really difficult. I think some of the pressure comes from ourselves but a lot of it comes from outside. When our second was born Mr N wouldn't let anyone in the house for a week except the doctor and midwife . "

Oh it most certainly comes from ourselves too. Trying to keep everyone happy and all that.

I really don't blame him at all, given the chance to go back I'd have put the same rule in place!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Humans are the only kind that bottle feed their babies if breast is not viable, in the natural world it's do or die, or maybe surrogate breast feeding from another.

Yeh breast is best but not fun if you get sore.

A friend of mine used to say bottle fed babies grow up to be grumpy facist dictators.

I don't think that's true.

True but farmers bottle feed lambs for example if their mothers aren't producing enough milk, else they will die. "

I've also tought calves to drink out of buckets.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

I fed both of mine for a couple of months, and expressed to bottle feed for as long as my supply stayed. I had latch issues and both being prem they were tiny compared to my boobs, coupled that with an unsupportive partner when it came to helping me when I needed it I was just sheer exhausted and reluctantly gave in and formula fed exclusively when my supply ran dry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody needs a reason if they don't want to, they don't want to.

It is their body.

Sounds like a really supportive partner she has there

If someone questioned me on the choices of my body I would kindly inform him of the sacrifices my body had already made to produce a child whilst he stayed exactly the same.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"It can be very painful. I used to pump to give myself some relief and the milk was pink!

It can be blue or green too, depending on what you've eaten "

And it can change colour depending on antibodies present, when you've last expressed, how full your breasts are, the composition of it... I find it fascinating in a slightly weird way.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I wanted to, I had a c-section so was in hospital 5 days. On day 2 my partners parents turned up at visiting time and at that time my newborn wanted feeding. I was still learning, visiting time was limited, and in that moment I made a pressured snap decision. Have them seeing my tits and possibly judging how bad I was doing, moaning that they didn't get a chance to hold their grandson (ya know, with him being attached to my boob) or having them moan that they made the journey to the hospital and I didn't want them in at that time. So I caved and asked for a bottle to save all of that.

Looking back now I feel ridiculous that I didn't have the guts to say "I'm really sorry, but he needs feeding and I'm uncomfortable and still learning, now isn't a good time"

And this time without auto correct.

Don't feel ridiculous for being a young, post-operative, new mother who needed time, understanding and patience.

For a ballsy bitch, mine had vanished

. The first few days of being a mother are really difficult. I think some of the pressure comes from ourselves but a lot of it comes from outside. When our second was born Mr N wouldn't let anyone in the house for a week except the doctor and midwife .

Oh it most certainly comes from ourselves too. Trying to keep everyone happy and all that.

I really don't blame him at all, given the chance to go back I'd have put the same rule in place!"

I was more than happy. Someone told me before I had my first baby to stay in my dressing gown for the first two weeks. Visitors then assume you are unable to make their tea, get them biscuits etc and do it themselves, they also offer to help because they connect nightwear in the day with illness. I tell every newly pregnant woman to do this .

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

i get a lot of enquiries for guys wanting to suckle on me. done it a few times, but my nipples start to get very sensitive and sore

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Choice...people are allowed to make their own choices for their own reasons whether anyone thinks it's strange of not OP.

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

I know that my ex suffered with cracked nipples,but she wouldn't stop. I fully understand why someone would choose not to,it's entirely the woman's choice, and I fully respect that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a bit of bitty

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Why would any woman have to explain to anyone other than their partner why they chose to breastfeed or not. It's surely their own decision and there is a variety of reasons why women decide not to. Either decision is right for them no matter what anyone else thinks.

For me I've never had to decide either way as I've never had children .

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By *elethWoman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire


"I wanted to, I had a c-section so was in hospital 5 days. On day 2 my partners parents turned up at visiting time and at that time my newborn wanted feeding. I was still learning, visiting time was limited, and in that moment I made a pressured snap decision. Have them seeing my tits and possibly judging how bad I was doing, moaning that they didn't get a chance to hold their grandson (ya know, with him being attached to my boob) or having them moan that they made the journey to the hospital and I didn't want them in at that time. So I caved and asked for a bottle to save all of that.

Looking back now I feel ridiculous that I didn't have the guts to say "I'm really sorry, but he needs feeding and I'm uncomfortable and still learning, now isn't a good time"

And this time without auto correct.

Don't feel ridiculous for being a young, post-operative, new mother who needed time, understanding and patience.

For a ballsy bitch, mine had vanished

. The first few days of being a mother are really difficult. I think some of the pressure comes from ourselves but a lot of it comes from outside. When our second was born Mr N wouldn't let anyone in the house for a week except the doctor and midwife .

Oh it most certainly comes from ourselves too. Trying to keep everyone happy and all that.

I really don't blame him at all, given the chance to go back I'd have put the same rule in place!

I was more than happy. Someone told me before I had my first baby to stay in my dressing gown for the first two weeks. Visitors then assume you are unable to make their tea, get them biscuits etc and do it themselves, they also offer to help because they connect nightwear in the day with illness. I tell every newly pregnant woman to do this . "

Yep, I advocate similar. It sometimes gets called the 4th trimester, and is all about promoting breastfeeding and mother and baby bonding as a whole. Other cultures have traditional practices involving 40 or so days when the new mother is cared for, while she cares solely for the baby. I've also heard "1st week in the bed, 2nd week on the bed, 3rd week around the bed."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wanted to, I had a c-section so was in hospital 5 days. On day 2 my partners parents turned up at visiting time and at that time my newborn wanted feeding. I was still learning, visiting time was limited, and in that moment I made a pressured snap decision. Have them seeing my tits and possibly judging how bad I was doing, moaning that they didn't get a chance to hold their grandson (ya know, with him being attached to my boob) or having them moan that they made the journey to the hospital and I didn't want them in at that time. So I caved and asked for a bottle to save all of that.

Looking back now I feel ridiculous that I didn't have the guts to say "I'm really sorry, but he needs feeding and I'm uncomfortable and still learning, now isn't a good time"

And this time without auto correct.

Don't feel ridiculous for being a young, post-operative, new mother who needed time, understanding and patience.

For a ballsy bitch, mine had vanished

. The first few days of being a mother are really difficult. I think some of the pressure comes from ourselves but a lot of it comes from outside. When our second was born Mr N wouldn't let anyone in the house for a week except the doctor and midwife .

Oh it most certainly comes from ourselves too. Trying to keep everyone happy and all that.

I really don't blame him at all, given the chance to go back I'd have put the same rule in place!

I was more than happy. Someone told me before I had my first baby to stay in my dressing gown for the first two weeks. Visitors then assume you are unable to make their tea, get them biscuits etc and do it themselves, they also offer to help because they connect nightwear in the day with illness. I tell every newly pregnant woman to do this .

Yep, I advocate similar. It sometimes gets called the 4th trimester, and is all about promoting breastfeeding and mother and baby bonding as a whole. Other cultures have traditional practices involving 40 or so days when the new mother is cared for, while she cares solely for the baby. I've also heard "1st week in the bed, 2nd week on the bed, 3rd week around the bed." "

Love the concept. and Mothering the mother too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Someone we know have got a new born and he thought it was strange why his partner didnt want to do it, whilst there could be several reasons behind it like they might not like it, what do you think and did you do it?

So, he thought it was strange his partner didn’t want to, surely they’ve discussed this and will know the reason, surely he will support his partner with whatever she feels comfortable doing, also why discuss this with other people, why is it anybody else’s business but their own ?!

I think it's important that we really dig deep and get right underneath the baby feeding choices of this family ... "

I’ll get the overhead projector out.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Why would any woman have to explain to anyone other than their partner why they chose to breastfeed or not. It's surely their own decision and there is a variety of reasons why women decide not to. Either decision is right for them no matter what anyone else thinks.

For me I've never had to decide either way as I've never had children ."

It’s the woman’s body, it’s up to her. I’ve two sisters who had babies in the same year. 1 sister gave in to pressure from midwives to breast feed, it lasted 2 weeks and they discovered baby was not getting enough milk and mum was exhausted. My other sister decided on day 1 it wasn’t for her and stood up to pressure refusing to breast feed. Both babies are in their 20s now and it caused them no harm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It can be very painful. I used to pump to give myself some relief and the milk was pink!

It can be blue or green too, depending on what you've eaten

And it can change colour depending on antibodies present, when you've last expressed, how full your breasts are, the composition of it... I find it fascinating in a slightly weird way. "

Theres also the fact that the saliva from baby can transmit to the mums immune system if baby is ill and within 4 hours, that baby is receiving antibodies for whatever baby has in the milk!

Oh and in hotter temperatures the milk is thinner, with more water in it, to thirst quench and rehydrate.

Studies into breast milk as a cure for some cancers are ongoing.

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

Its not as straightforward as it seems. When my son was born, my then wife couldn't get him to latch on no matter how much she tried. I remember how she would just keep trying and just sat pumping each day as she really wanted to make it a success. It was heartbreaking to see her try so hard and nothing was working but at this point, my son was losing weight so she made the decision to give him formula milk to ensure he gets enough. I do think all new mums are encouraged to breastfeed but they should also be supported if they choose not to or can't also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Their body their choice as in everything else. A lot try but for various are unable to

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I tried but not very successfully as have inverted nipples which then lead to mastitis would love to have been able to x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you think that women who choose not to breast feed are looked down on by women that do (or society in general)?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its not as straightforward as it seems. When my son was born, my then wife couldn't get him to latch on no matter how much she tried. I remember how she would just keep trying and just sat pumping each day as she really wanted to make it a success. It was heartbreaking to see her try so hard and nothing was working but at this point, my son was losing weight so she made the decision to give him formula milk to ensure he gets enough. I do think all new mums are encouraged to breastfeed but they should also be supported if they choose not to or can't also "

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By *elethWoman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire


"It can be very painful. I used to pump to give myself some relief and the milk was pink!

It can be blue or green too, depending on what you've eaten

And it can change colour depending on antibodies present, when you've last expressed, how full your breasts are, the composition of it... I find it fascinating in a slightly weird way.

Theres also the fact that the saliva from baby can transmit to the mums immune system if baby is ill and within 4 hours, that baby is receiving antibodies for whatever baby has in the milk!

Oh and in hotter temperatures the milk is thinner, with more water in it, to thirst quench and rehydrate.

Studies into breast milk as a cure for some cancers are ongoing."

I find it so fascinating, it has stem cells in it amongst hundreds of other ingredients that we know of, and an unknown amount that we don't yet know about! We're only just scratching the surface of what we know about breast milk.

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By *candiumWoman
over a year ago

oban

The thought of breastfeeding makes me feel, at best queasy, and generally fills me with horror. One of the many reasons I don't have children

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you think that women who choose not to breast feed are looked down on by women that do (or society in general)? "

Hell yes! I think every mother knows breast is best, but to shame someone for deciding to go with formula is so obnoxious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many reasons why a mother may not choose, want or be able to breastfeed.

I don’t get why other people shame mothers for not breastfeeding (not saying the OP is). Having interviewed many parents in my work it’s just sad how much stigma is placed on it and then how much pressure mothers face to act one way or another.

I have noticed people can’t let mums be mums and always have to butt in. Yes if children are in danger or being neglected it’s different but even in those cases helping mums to understand, from one or two genuine people, is needed. Not getting remarks thrown at them.

Sorry a bit of a rant but I just think mothers are set up to fail because of the standards people put on them. Let people live and learn at their own pace.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I have mixed breastfeeding experience. I wasn't successful with my first child. I was 16, I tried, got bilateral mastitis on a Bank Holiday and was in agony. He ended up on formula but I felt super guilty. He always had loads of ear infections and tonsil problems and I think I convinced myself it was my fault for bottle feeding him. Anyway, at 18, he's perfectly fine!

My second took to breastfeeding like a duck to water and it was so straightforward! So easy! Apart from my leg was crippled, I was in agony from that and the solution offered to me was pregabalin. They told me (incorrectly) that if I breastfed on pregabalin, my baby would die etc so I stopped breastfeeding and took the nerve pain meds. I was discharged home on crutches and with pregabalin and left to work it out for myself.

What that meant was I was completely reliant on my husband (Mr KC) and my then-14yo son. I couldn't ascend or descend stairs safely for months, I still need crutches for that 4 years later. I couldn't prepare bottles myself because I couldn't stand up without crutches and so I had no free hands. I finally got my wits back together, did my own research about breastfeeding and pregabalin and realised that the pain team were wrong.

I worked with an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) and the local breastfeeding support NHS people. I borrowed a hospital grade pump and commenced Operation Relactate when my daughter was about 6 weeks old. A month of pumping dry, then drops etc lead to my supply coming back (bear in mind I stopped breastfeeding before it had come in) and we weaned off bottles for a bit. Life was so much easier not having to worry about bottles, for me.

I went back to work when she was 4 months old, 2 days from home with her here and strapped to my front at first, then she went to nursery when she was 8 months. I rocked up on crutches with my breast pump in tow and I basically worked FT and pumped at work or at home for 18 months. She only stopped breastfeeding for comfort in lockdown 1 when she was 3.

I'm super pro breastfeeding but I've experienced both sides of it and I'd much rather see women and babies happy and healthy. I do think more women could breastfeed successfully if there was more support and education around how breastfeeding works (cluster feeding is normal, dummies are unhelpful etc) and more than anything, the attitude that women should be up and doing the hoovering within a few days is not only detrimental to breastfeeding, but also to the wider physical health of women. No matter what delivery she's had, the pelvic floor needs to heal and carting round cleaning tools, carrying shopping, car seats and the like is TERRIBLE for the pelvic floor. Take it from someone who has or had triple pelvic organ prolapse that it's better to have an untidy house. Better still, get the in-laws doing the shopping rather than sitting cooing over the baby and whinging about you breastfeeding!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was to sore and some babies wont latch on to nipple,mother might have post natal depression there so many reason why we dont

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Mum was still breast feeding me when I was 32.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My Mum was still breast feeding me when I was 32....."

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By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

I tried for 4 weeks with my son. He was nearly 10lbs. He was on my tit literally 24/7. It was so painful. Don't think I slept at all for the whole time. He sucked a layer of skin off and now my nipples are really sensitive because of it. When I made the decision to stop it was pure relief. If you are a new mother there's enough pressure so don't judge cos it's fucking hard enough

R

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By *elethWoman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire


"I have mixed breastfeeding experience. I wasn't successful with my first child. I was 16, I tried, got bilateral mastitis on a Bank Holiday and was in agony. He ended up on formula but I felt super guilty. He always had loads of ear infections and tonsil problems and I think I convinced myself it was my fault for bottle feeding him. Anyway, at 18, he's perfectly fine!

My second took to breastfeeding like a duck to water and it was so straightforward! So easy! Apart from my leg was crippled, I was in agony from that and the solution offered to me was pregabalin. They told me (incorrectly) that if I breastfed on pregabalin, my baby would die etc so I stopped breastfeeding and took the nerve pain meds. I was discharged home on crutches and with pregabalin and left to work it out for myself.

What that meant was I was completely reliant on my husband (Mr KC) and my then-14yo son. I couldn't ascend or descend stairs safely for months, I still need crutches for that 4 years later. I couldn't prepare bottles myself because I couldn't stand up without crutches and so I had no free hands. I finally got my wits back together, did my own research about breastfeeding and pregabalin and realised that the pain team were wrong.

I worked with an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) and the local breastfeeding support NHS people. I borrowed a hospital grade pump and commenced Operation Relactate when my daughter was about 6 weeks old. A month of pumping dry, then drops etc lead to my supply coming back (bear in mind I stopped breastfeeding before it had come in) and we weaned off bottles for a bit. Life was so much easier not having to worry about bottles, for me.

I went back to work when she was 4 months old, 2 days from home with her here and strapped to my front at first, then she went to nursery when she was 8 months. I rocked up on crutches with my breast pump in tow and I basically worked FT and pumped at work or at home for 18 months. She only stopped breastfeeding for comfort in lockdown 1 when she was 3.

I'm super pro breastfeeding but I've experienced both sides of it and I'd much rather see women and babies happy and healthy. I do think more women could breastfeed successfully if there was more support and education around how breastfeeding works (cluster feeding is normal, dummies are unhelpful etc) and more than anything, the attitude that women should be up and doing the hoovering within a few days is not only detrimental to breastfeeding, but also to the wider physical health of women. No matter what delivery she's had, the pelvic floor needs to heal and carting round cleaning tools, carrying shopping, car seats and the like is TERRIBLE for the pelvic floor. Take it from someone who has or had triple pelvic organ prolapse that it's better to have an untidy house. Better still, get the in-laws doing the shopping rather than sitting cooing over the baby and whinging about you breastfeeding!"

Wow!!! You relactated after all that?! That's just astonishing, you should be so proud of yourself! That's so many battles won right there!

Medication and breastfeeding misinformation is sadly rife, even amongst healthcare professionals. The pharmacist Wendy Jones' website is the go to source for accurate and up-to-date information on medications and breastfeeding.

I absolutely agree with your point that better education and support (for healthcare professionals as well as mothers) would allow more women to have the breastfeeding journeys they would choose.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"

Wow!!! You relactated after all that?! That's just astonishing, you should be so proud of yourself! That's so many battles won right there!

Medication and breastfeeding misinformation is sadly rife, even amongst healthcare professionals. The pharmacist Wendy Jones' website is the go to source for accurate and up-to-date information on medications and breastfeeding.

I absolutely agree with your point that better education and support (for healthcare professionals as well as mothers) would allow more women to have the breastfeeding journeys they would choose.

"

I did indeed. I'm really pleased we managed 3 years in the end. Relactation was made much easier by a super supportive husband (Mr KC is AMAZING), my son (also AMAZING) and some industrial strength pumps! Wendy Jones has been a huge help to me (she was recommended by the IBCLC) but I had to do my own legwork in researching. I know I'm fortunate to have a scientific background which lets me do that. Operation Relactate gave me something to focus on at a crazy difficult time and the fact I managed to breastfeed was one small tick in the box of "normal parenting" when I felt like an alien in Parent-land. By the way, Dr Jack Newman's resources and Kellymom were also invaluable.

My employer was also hugely supportive - I was the first person to pump at work so they took on board the advice from various sources, added blinds to meeting rooms and block booked them for me at various times. They provided a small fridge and such things. All my colleagues were supportive too, never once batting an eyelid when I set off to pump, nor if I was rinsing the parts in the staff kitchen etc.

I think education and support are the absolute benchmarks of successful breastfeeding and with better of both, women would be empowered to genuinely choose. At the moment, it's often not a true choice, it's "I'm stressed, in pain, my baby doesn't seem to be thriving, let's use bottles" and it can be more an "emergency" decision for many people (like me first time around).

Also the knowledge of doctors on breastfeeding is absolutely shocking, bordering on disgraceful. Without knowing Wendy was there for advice, I'd have stopped breastfeeding so many times (nerve root injections, MRI scans - contrast free) etc. My daughter is now 4, raised on 2x 200mg pregabalin breastmilk for 3 years and she is absolutely thriving and happy. I'm glad I listened to my gut.

I'm well aware my experience is not everyone's experience by the way.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fake boobs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fake boobs "

Huh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve just had a coffee and bun.

(Cows milk in the coffee)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried it with both my babies neither of them latched on

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

I don’t breast feed. I don’t have kids so would be weird if I did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""

Way to further the debate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never wanted to breastfeed mine, I was anxious enough becoming a Mum and one of my friends struggled to bond with her baby because she had difficulty latching

It just couldn't put myself through that. I wanted to spend the early days enjoying my baby not worrying about feeding him....

I never breastfed my 2nd either. Tbh the midwives were really good and so was my GP, I just think if you can great but don't feel any less if you don't. Personal choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife had too many mouths to feed!

A few of you will understand! Most wont!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve just had a coffee and bun.

(Cows milk in the coffee) "

Poor calves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's my body and my choice.

I couldn't despite trying with my first son and didn't even attempt it with my second and third.

I wish the midwives had been more accepting of this choice.

The important thing is that baby is fed.

There's enough pressure on new mums without that on top. Often dammed if you do or if you don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Wow!!! You relactated after all that?! That's just astonishing, you should be so proud of yourself! That's so many battles won right there!

Medication and breastfeeding misinformation is sadly rife, even amongst healthcare professionals. The pharmacist Wendy Jones' website is the go to source for accurate and up-to-date information on medications and breastfeeding.

I absolutely agree with your point that better education and support (for healthcare professionals as well as mothers) would allow more women to have the breastfeeding journeys they would choose.

I did indeed. I'm really pleased we managed 3 years in the end. Relactation was made much easier by a super supportive husband (Mr KC is AMAZING), my son (also AMAZING) and some industrial strength pumps! Wendy Jones has been a huge help to me (she was recommended by the IBCLC) but I had to do my own legwork in researching. I know I'm fortunate to have a scientific background which lets me do that. Operation Relactate gave me something to focus on at a crazy difficult time and the fact I managed to breastfeed was one small tick in the box of "normal parenting" when I felt like an alien in Parent-land. By the way, Dr Jack Newman's resources and Kellymom were also invaluable.

My employer was also hugely supportive - I was the first person to pump at work so they took on board the advice from various sources, added blinds to meeting rooms and block booked them for me at various times. They provided a small fridge and such things. All my colleagues were supportive too, never once batting an eyelid when I set off to pump, nor if I was rinsing the parts in the staff kitchen etc.

I think education and support are the absolute benchmarks of successful breastfeeding and with better of both, women would be empowered to genuinely choose. At the moment, it's often not a true choice, it's "I'm stressed, in pain, my baby doesn't seem to be thriving, let's use bottles" and it can be more an "emergency" decision for many people (like me first time around).

Also the knowledge of doctors on breastfeeding is absolutely shocking, bordering on disgraceful. Without knowing Wendy was there for advice, I'd have stopped breastfeeding so many times (nerve root injections, MRI scans - contrast free) etc. My daughter is now 4, raised on 2x 200mg pregabalin breastmilk for 3 years and she is absolutely thriving and happy. I'm glad I listened to my gut.

I'm well aware my experience is not everyone's experience by the way."

She is a star. I went to a conference where she was one of the speakers. And yes GPs do not receive enough training regarding lactation but that might change with more universities gaining Baby Friendly Initiative accreditation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was a big part of what I wanted to do as a mum, but it was incredibly hard the first time around and I suffered awful cracked nipples so much so I just had to pump on one side for a few weeks whilst it healed. I remember actually bracing myself for the physical pain of the latch one and the cold sweats. Sounds awful and it was for a bit but I was stubborn and really wanted to do it. First baby carried on for about 9 mths before teeth put paid to it. Was much easier with second, experience really is everything and she carried on for about 14 mths. I got plenty of throwaway comments mainly from the mil who thòught it was all a bit unnecassary and there are bottles you know, they always seem hungry you should fill them up. Made all the pain and hurtful comments worthwile with a sweet comment from my health visitor, exclaiming from across the room that baby must be breastfed as she looked the perfect weight. Any nice comment is taken during those hormonal times, and was a two fingers up to the mil and her poor hungry thin baby remarks. Anyway, you are bollocksed either way with what you choose, and other peoples opinions rarely stop at just feeding choices. Why people can assume they can offer so much unwanted 'advice' around something so personal astounds me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a traumatic birth and didn't produce enough milk. The failure I felt triggered postnatal depression which followed me for years afterward. The pressure from everyone to breastfeed made me spiral to a VERY dark place.

I have been a peer support for maternal mental health and hear that breastfeeding was a trigger for postnatal depression/anxiety in probably 80% cases.

Bearing in mind that suicide is the leading cause of death for new mums in the year following birth, I think we should look to empower mums to make the best decision for all concerned, whether that is breast or bottle.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I breastfed mine for about a month before I had to give up, as I wasn't producing enough milk.

No problems with the actual feeding, apart from REALLY sore nipples. It's exhausting though.

My Health Visitor was brilliant and supported me throughout.

Bottle feeding was loads easier and I would always support any mother to do whatever they want to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a man I probably don’t have the right to comment on this. I think every mother should try breast feeding. All the evidence is it’s best for the baby. I do struggle a bit with mothers who just decide it’s not for them without giving it a go, but like I say it’s a personal complicated issue and not for me to judge. What’s important is if a mother can’t or doesn’t get on with it then there should be support not pressure. Bottle feeding is definitely easier whether expressed milk or formula and lets partners share the load. I certainly really valued doing feeds (even at 3am though more in retrospect) ad it was great for my bonding.

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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle


"As a man I probably don’t have the right to comment on this. I think every mother should try breast feeding."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a man I probably don’t have the right to comment on this. I think every mother should try breast feeding. All the evidence is it’s best for the baby. I do struggle a bit with mothers who just decide it’s not for them without giving it a go "

Have you even read the replies to this?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Do you think that women who choose not to breast feed are looked down on by women that do (or society in general)? "

There'll always be someone ready and prepared to look down on others for a myriad of reasons.

Trick is to not give a fuck! Fools errand trying to please everyone.

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By *reat me rightWoman
over a year ago

Rotherham


"Do you think that women who choose not to breast feed are looked down on by women that do (or society in general)? "

I felt I was and even now *8 years later, if Small gets a cold, as she does, regularly!!! Its my fault because I didn't feed her. I won't have another child as I'm too old now but if I had had then I would give my colostrum again (the only time my Small latched) then formula. As others have said, its not really anyone else's business (my partner didn't understand how demeaned I felt attached to a machine and producing about an ounce if that a day) and likened me to a cow hooked up to a milking machine. Looking back, I'm surprised he lasted until she was 6 months old with that (and other) pearlers surrounding my inability to even feed her - or smell when she needed changing - or how id let myself go. Funnily enough, he didn't seem to have a problem with me doing everything including swilling the balcony down regularly 5 days post section. I do hope he was better with his younger baby mama.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Do you think that women who choose not to breast feed are looked down on by women that do (or society in general)?

There'll always be someone ready and prepared to look down on others for a myriad of reasons.

Trick is to not give a fuck! Fools errand trying to please everyone. "

Very true.

You'd think anyone with an ounce of empathy would be nothing but supportive to new parents though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you think that women who choose not to breast feed are looked down on by women that do (or society in general)? "

Could not care if anyone looked down at me or not. Did not make me less of a Mum, I was happy so were my babies who were also very healthy and stay that way. Their lives were not impacted in anyway from MY decisions...

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading


"It can be very painful. I used to pump to give myself some relief and the milk was pink!

It can be blue or green too, depending on what you've eaten

And it can change colour depending on antibodies present, when you've last expressed, how full your breasts are, the composition of it... I find it fascinating in a slightly weird way. "

In my case it was from the blood. Its amazing that none of them became vampires.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"It can be very painful. I used to pump to give myself some relief and the milk was pink!

It can be blue or green too, depending on what you've eaten

And it can change colour depending on antibodies present, when you've last expressed, how full your breasts are, the composition of it... I find it fascinating in a slightly weird way.

In my case it was from the blood. Its amazing that none of them became vampires."

It happened to me a couple of times. It does freak you out a bit, no?!

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