FabSwingers.com forum: Bad joke as non pc

By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Just had a text from a mate saying that the head of the Somali Olympic Squad has apologised to officials on behalf of their team after realising that shooting and sailing were two separate events.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had a text from a mate saying that the head of the Somali Olympic Squad has apologised to officials on behalf of their team after realising that shooting and sailing were two separate events.

I like that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the first few days of the Olympics Romania have taken

GOLD

SILVER

BRONZE

Copper, Lead and anything else they can get their hands on

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

"Just had a text from a mate saying that the head of the Somali Olympic Squad has apologised to officials on behalf of their team after realising that shooting and sailing were two separate events.

I like that one "

Not often I type in a joke to my phone to send out, but this one I did, brilliant

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

If the Olympics has taught me anything it’s that China may have a population of over 1 billion… but they only have two hair styles.

There has been speculation that 16-year-old Chinese swimming sensation Ye Shiwen used performance-enhancing drugs to achieve her Olympic gold medal. However, a semen sample she provided after the race has shown that this is untrue

Getting fucking married next week. I told my boyfriend I'd set a date the day I saw the Queen jump out of a helicopter

The first medals in the sailing events have been decided...

USA snatched gold

Russian took silver

And Somalia took a middle aged English couple called Elsie and Fred and are holding out for a ransom

*nods to sickipedia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wouldn't steal a car.

You wouldn't steal a film.

So why download a movie?

Because I don't like getting shot at whilst eating popcorn...

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

"Just had a text from a mate saying that the head of the Somali Olympic Squad has apologised to officials on behalf of their team after realising that shooting and sailing were two separate events.

I like that one

Not often I type in a joke to my phone to send out, but this one I did, brilliant"

Cut and paste

Lazy and ingenious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You wouldn't steal a car.

You wouldn't steal a film.

So why download a movie?

Because I don't like getting shot at whilst eating popcorn..."
lmfo

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"Just had a text from a mate saying that the head of the Somali Olympic Squad has apologised to officials on behalf of their team after realising that shooting and sailing were two separate events.

pmsl..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prayed to god for a new car. Then realized thats not how it works.

So i stole one and prayed for forgiveness

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I was having a wank watching the men's gymnastics yesterday.......apparently that's unacceptable behaviour when you're judging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Breaking Olympic News

Over now to the Westfield Shopping Centre in Stratford where the Romanian Women's Team has just won Gold in the Synchronised Shoplifting event

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spent most of my day watching Dave's coverage of the Olympics.

That was such a close race I am gutted Linford only got silver.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The first medals in the sailing events have been decided...

USA snatched gold

Russian took silver

And Somalia took a middle aged English couple called Elsie and Fred and are holding out for a ransom."

Love this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"personally i don't think olympians should get penalised for being on drugs, they were fucked and they still got a medal!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant. Another silver medal for team GB

Andy Murray got to the tennis final.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

As a country in it's own right,the Vatican is entitled to enter a team in the olympics,but they never have.

They believe that they would win gold in every event,so,they don't actually have to prove it.

Trying to find a news story about something other than the Olympics is harder than finding a women's book club that isn't reading 50 shades of grey

I could be an Olympic weightlifter as I frequently battle to keep a 250 kilogram weight aloft with all my strength. Its called Reverse Cowgirl with the wife.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sick of hearing about the Olympics.

If I wanted to see a bunch of cunts that haven't worked for 4 years parading in tracksuits I'd move to (insert appropriate town)

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

Enjoying these !

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Can I have one as well please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sick of hearing about the Olympics.

If I wanted to see a bunch of cunts that haven't worked for 4 years parading in tracksuits I'd move to (insert appropriate town)"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Olympic fanny farting!-looks like she's blown it.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Chinese swimmer Ye Shiwen has tested positive for an outboard engine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spent half an hour waiting for the women's snatch - how disappointed!

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By *hmeohmyMan
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/08/12 17:47:31]

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

There is no evidence of doping in the China swimmimg team said their spokesman Che ting fuk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Brazilian hurdles team are shitting themselves.

The last time a Brazilian jumped over a hurdle in London the police shot the poor fucker!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just got my tickets to the Olympic women’s beach volleyball final! Unfortunately, it’s Iran versus Saudi Arabia.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The government have advised people to watch out that they’re not being sold fake 2012 Olympic tickets. I think I’ll be alright though. My tickets for the men’s wheelchair triple jump seem genuine enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gold Medal in shooting for Team GB. We just need to get Stabbing, Stealing & Getting Pissed to be olympic sports now, we'd own it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Olympic Gymnast: Jumps 20 feet in the air, defies all laws of physics, does 10 backflips, defeats voldemort, comes back down and lands perfectly on the balance beam while fireworks go off in the background.

ME: I fall on my face as I try putting my knickers on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A new study suggests British people spend over a year of their lives in the pub.

My mate's Scottish.He spent more than a year in the pub last year.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

Chinese swimming team has come on leaps and bounds since Morecombe Bay...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not gonna join in for fear of getting kicked off the site and. becoming a pariah.........oh so many jokes that would get me in sooo much trouble

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By *ocialchameleonMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Have you heard about the festival celebrated by Welsh Muslims?

It's called Ramalamb.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"I'm not gonna join in for fear of getting kicked off the site and. becoming a pariah.........oh so many jokes that would get me in sooo much trouble

you big wuss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not gonna join in for fear of getting kicked off the site and. becoming a pariah.........oh so many jokes that would get me in sooo much trouble

you big wuss

I know to many "wrong" joke lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one of the chinese table tennis players is called Ding Ning

everytime the commentator mentioned her i thought my lasagne was ready

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So this is where I'm accused of being a liberal or one of the politically correct brigade, but some of these jokes are thoroughly offensive and downright racist. You can dress them up to be jokes but is it really funny to be laughing at events where real people died? I don't think it is.

I read the 'class' thread earlier and wasn't surprised to see that many people don't want anyone from a higher 'class' looking down on them, yet it's ok to look down on people from different religions or ethnicities and make jokes about it. Complete double standards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah but to be fair the apologies were upfront

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yeah but to be fair the apologies were upfront

No more Scottish jokes from you ....... we are a downtrodden and disadvantaged race.

At least that was the IRA's reason for not bombing us.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

the title of the thread says a bit about the content to be fair..

having a moan about it is like going into a specific food themed restaurant, ordering something then moaning about what you are served..

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"So this is where I'm accused of being a liberal or one of the politically correct brigade, but some of these jokes are thoroughly offensive and downright racist. You can dress them up to be jokes but is it really funny to be laughing at events where real people died? I don't think it is.

i dont see why people cant see jokes as just that.

jokes!

no hidden meaning

no nastiness behind them

they are truths told in a funny way.

its people like you that get insulted on behalf of others which is making this country intolerable to live in.

winterval?

an old lady not being able to have her pig ornaments on her window sill for fear of offense?

oh purleese!

as far as comedy is concerned, take me back to the 70s when people werent scared to make fun of others.

would rather listen to that than people talking about their bodily functions as modern comedy seems obsessed with!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yeah but to be fair the apologies were upfront

So if you apologise for being racist its ok?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yeah but to be fair the apologies were upfront

So if you apologise for being racist its ok?! "

words aren't racist. context and intent can be tho. which reminds me..

I don't know what the fuss is about with this genetic engineering. You know, planting DNA in to sheep.

The fucking Welsh have been doing it for years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont see why people cant see jokes as just that.

jokes!

no hidden meaning

no nastiness behind them

they are truths told in a funny way.

its people like you that get insulted on behalf of others which is making this country intolerable to live in.

winterval?

an old lady not being able to have her pig ornaments on her window sill for fear of offense?

oh purleese!

as far as comedy is concerned, take me back to the 70s when people werent scared to make fun of others.

would rather listen to that than people talking about their bodily functions as modern comedy seems obsessed with!"

I bet the people who lost family and friends in the Aurora shootings wouldnt be laughing, nor would the honourable and every day Somalis and muslims who aren't pirates or suicide bombers. You can laugh because the jokes aren't about you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So it's expected we all hang our heads in sorrow for the rest of our lives? Laughter is better medicine than crying. Call me un pc, I really don't mind, long as I can laugh I am happy, even if the joke is on me which it frequently is, given my ethnic background.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" You can laugh because the jokes aren't about you. "

To be fair there were some ABOUT Welsh and Scottish .... but they weren't DIRECTED at anyone.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"I bet the people who lost family and friends in the Aurora shootings wouldnt be laughing, nor would the honourable and every day Somalis and muslims who aren't pirates or suicide bombers. You can laugh because the jokes aren't about you. "

accepted.

and when a joke about a fat englishman, with an irish missus and Dutch history, who drives a truck comes along, and i dont laugh, i will be right there behind you.

hugging trees and flying my PC brigade banner.

until then, if you dont like near the knuckle jokes, stop reading them, for christs sake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" You can laugh because the jokes aren't about you.

To be fair there were some ABOUT Welsh and Scottish .... but they weren't DIRECTED at anyone. "

no,just sterotyping

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And this I why I decided not to post any jokes, somebody allways gets offended.

Personally I am a believer in the intent is the key.

I have told and laughed at jokes that are distasteful.....do u feel bad when I tell them or laugh at them? Not even a little but I know who I can and cant say them to, that's the problem with a public forum like this dispite the fact the title says what to expect somone will allways read it, just so they can be offended.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

you know what they say.

some people are never happy unless they have something to complain about.

maybe a name change to mary whitehouse is in order )oh for admin powers right now!!! lol)

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

I really enjoyed the Olympics opening ceremony, especially how it told the history of Great Britain.

My favourite bit was the parade with all the different countries we've conquered.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

accepted.

and when a joke about a fat englishman, with an irish missus and Dutch history, who drives a truck comes along, and i dont laugh, i will be right there behind you.

hugging trees and flying my PC brigade banner.

until then, if you dont like near the knuckle jokes, stop reading them, for christs sake."

And now taking our Lord's name in vain.......... stone him......

There was a Scotsman, an chunky Englishman (of Dutch descent) and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped. The Englishman was thinking: "The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead". Claudia Schiffer was thinking "The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it". And the Scotsman was thinking: "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise and slap that English bastard again".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

did you know that. adolf hitler never committed suicide ..he died from a heart attack....after reading a letter....it was his gas bill...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" You can laugh because the jokes aren't about you.

To be fair there were some ABOUT Welsh and Scottish .... but they weren't DIRECTED at anyone. "

Apart from the Welsh and Scottish.....

As this is a public forum I can read any thread I chose, if it's offensive then I'm not just going to ignore it, I have an opinion that I've shared, in the vain hope that the ignorant posters think twice about the things they've said. However it seems that people have a number of ways to defend their racism and ignorance so I'll leave it there.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

accepted.

and when a joke about a fat englishman, with an irish missus and Dutch history, who drives a truck comes along, and i dont laugh, i will be right there behind you.

hugging trees and flying my PC brigade banner.

until then, if you dont like near the knuckle jokes, stop reading them, for christs sake.

And now taking our Lord's name in vain.......... stone him......

thats disgraceful.

creating a joke to insult an englishman (of dutch decent) just for your meglomaniacal self needs.

im disgusted at you!!

to think, how much coal was wasted in the creation of this joke, and how much damage it has done to the planet. lol

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

What do you call a Welshman with a flock of sheep?

A pimp

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"And this I why I decided not to post any jokes, somebody allways gets offended.

Personally I am a believer in the intent is the key.

Go on, put a couple on, she sez she's not coming back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" You can laugh because the jokes aren't about you.

To be fair there were some ABOUT Welsh and Scottish .... but they weren't DIRECTED at anyone.

Apart from the Welsh and Scottish.....

I think I can safely say on behalf of my Scottish body that it didn't take offence .... it took the gate and run like fuck.

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By *utumnWoman
over a year ago

leeds

"so I'll leave it there"

thank god for that...... Please keep a grip on reality jokes in all languages about all races have been with us and will stay with us forever.....Laugh or Pass!

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

" You can laugh because the jokes aren't about you.

To be fair there were some ABOUT Welsh and Scottish .... but they weren't DIRECTED at anyone.

Apart from the Welsh and Scottish.....

aving the ability to laugh about EVERYTHING including ourselves is NOT ignorant, racist, sexist or anything else-ist.

its called being British and we can laugh in the face of adversity.

our humour is envied around the world (especially by the yanks (sorry americans) and the jerries (sorry, germans)

my god we got through 2 world wars by being able to laugh (admittedly there was a little fighting going on, but it was mostly laughing im sure).

to say you are right and everyone else is wrong, and an ist of some description makes you small minded and opinionated.

as said, how can YOU be right and everyone else wrong?

is that how it works?

is that not how a meglomaniac sees the world?

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

how do you get a gay to fuck a woman?

shit in her cunt!

be offended.

be VERY offended!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think us welsh mind being called sheepshaggers, although I think you'll find the term animal lovers is more pc! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

German Humour

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital.

A man walks into a pub.

He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

What's blue and never fits properly?

ANS: A dead epileptic.

how bad taste do you want them?

i've got all night!!!!! lol

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

accepted.

and when a joke about a fat englishman, with an irish missus and Dutch history, who drives a truck comes along, and i dont laugh, i will be right there behind you.

hugging trees and flying my PC brigade banner.

until then, if you dont like near the knuckle jokes, stop reading them, for christs sake.

And now taking our Lord's name in vain.......... stone him......

thats disgraceful.

creating a joke to insult an englishman (of dutch decent) just for your meglomaniacal self needs.

im disgusted at you!!

to think, how much coal was wasted in the creation of this joke, and how much damage it has done to the planet. lol"

Oh it's always a joy to get through a day and insult and disgust a few people.....I feel I should be punished now.....Here at Castle Anthrax we

have but one punishment for insulting and disgusting people....you must tie me down on a bed and spank me

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

accepted.

and when a joke about a fat englishman, with an irish missus and Dutch history, who drives a truck comes along, and i dont laugh, i will be right there behind you.

hugging trees and flying my PC brigade banner.

until then, if you dont like near the knuckle jokes, stop reading them, for christs sake.

And now taking our Lord's name in vain.......... stone him......

thats disgraceful.

creating a joke to insult an englishman (of dutch decent) just for your meglomaniacal self needs.

im disgusted at you!!

to think, how much coal was wasted in the creation of this joke, and how much damage it has done to the planet. lol

Oh it's always a joy to get through a day and insult and disgust a few people.....I feel I should be punished now.....Here at Castle Anthrax we

have but one punishment for insulting and disgusting people....you must tie me down on a bed and spank me

lol.

you have a very good film collection if that too is part of it lol

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

Sure Jesus loves you, but does he swallow?

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?

Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands!

Jesus is coming, but he pulled out.

yeah, Christians now!!!

no ones safe, ya hear me!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And this I why I decided not to post any jokes, somebody allways gets offended.

it's not even political correctness in most cases, it's just over sensitivity

i wouldn't mind, but generally it is over sensitivity on the behalf of other people

superheroes used to wear capes and jazzy outfits to save the world

now they wear recycled clothing, carry a bag for life and track down criminals on a bike with a basket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

actually it would be interesting if someone posted a joke that even others on this thread said 'woah,that's a bit much'

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By *amslam1000Man
over a year ago

willenhall

accepted.

and when a joke about a fat englishman, with an irish missus and Dutch history, who drives a truck comes along, and i dont laugh, i will be right there behind you.

hugging trees and flying my PC brigade banner.

until then, if you dont like near the knuckle jokes, stop reading them, for christs sake.

And now taking our Lord's name in vain.......... stone him......

thats disgraceful.

creating a joke to insult an englishman (of dutch decent) just for your meglomaniacal self needs.

im disgusted at you!!

to think, how much coal was wasted in the creation of this joke, and how much damage it has done to the planet. lol

Oh it's always a joy to get through a day and insult and disgust a few people.....I feel I should be punished now.....Here at Castle Anthrax we

have but one punishment for insulting and disgusting people....you must tie me down on a bed and spank me

A spanking a spanking theres going to be a spanking

sad i know all the words

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By *icplforbimalebarrowCouple
over a year ago

barrow in furness cumbria

what u call a cop with two brain cells

pregnant

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"actually it would be interesting if someone posted a joke that even others on this thread said 'woah,that's a bit much'"

i have just read a couple and thought, erm... no lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this better ?

A jew, a black and an asian at a bus stop

What a fine example of racial integration !

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Here at Castle Anthrax we

have but one punishment for insulting and disgusting people....you must tie me down on a bed and spank me

lol.

you have a very good film collection if that too is part of it lol"

I love a bit of Python (fnar, fnar)....and after the spanking.....the oral sex

I might even let you come at me with a banana

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"Here at Castle Anthrax we

have but one punishment for insulting and disgusting people....you must tie me down on a bed and spank me

lol.

you have a very good film collection if that too is part of it lol

I love a bit of Python (fnar, fnar)....and after the spanking.....the oral sex

I might even let you come at me with a banana

apart from the meaning of life, i have the pythin films.

they are an excellent watch.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

one persons 'offensive' joke is someone elses favourite..

thats the way humour works, its different as are we all..

if humour which may or might offend someone were 'banned' just in case it did so would make this a sadder and poorer country..

humour helps us cope with real life..

anyway, did you hear the one about....

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By *amslam1000Man
over a year ago

willenhall

what would you do if you found a spastic having a fit in the bath?

Jump in its a jacussi !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tra has so many pairs of shoes our house looks like a holocaust museum

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

A twenty-something disabled girl with no arms or legs is sitting in her wheelchair one day in a park. All of a sudden she starts to cry. A man walking by sees this and walks up to her. He then asks her why she is crying. She replies "I'm nearly thirty years old and I've never been fucked! Will you help me?"

The man can't resist her, she's weak, helpless and bawling her eyes out. So he agrees.

He proceeds to push the chair and says that they're going to go somewhere special. They soon arrive at a nearby beach and the man hires a small boat. "How romantic", the girl says. The man lifts the girl out of her chair and seats her in the boat. They then row out some distance.

"I told you I would help you and now I will." The man gets up and the girl has a look of excitement on her face. The man picks her up and throws her overboard. "NOW your fucked!" he says and starts to row away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/08/12 22:11:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what would you do if you found a spastic having a fit in the bath?

Jump in its a jacussi !!

Or throw in the washing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife and kids are leaving me due to my obsession with horse racing...

There at the gate now...

And there off!!!

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

I was very surprised that Hillsborough wasn't selected as an Olympic venue, given its experience with football, squash and fencing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So that's a Somalian born winner, a mixed-race female winner and a ginger winner. The Daily Mail must be furious

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I live in Cumbria, and when Derek Bird went on his rampage, when the lockdown was lifted at my workplace and we were able to go home, we had to drive past two of the bodies to get home which wasn't nice.....next day gets the text "What's the quickest way to Scotland - just shoot through Cumbria" I laughed at it and forwarded it to friends....a lot of our humour is very black (as in dark, not a racist comment)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some of you are going too far now

not that i don't find some of the stuff amusing

just because jokes are being posted purely to cause offence as opposed to having any reference to the initial japery of the thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's Cus ur black saffer

I have a black friend who looks and sounds just like u do I bet!!!

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Here at Castle Anthrax we

have but one punishment for insulting and disgusting people....you must tie me down on a bed and spank me

lol.

you have a very good film collection if that too is part of it lol

I love a bit of Python (fnar, fnar)....and after the spanking.....the oral sex

I might even let you come at me with a banana

apart from the meaning of life, i have the pythin films.

they are an excellent watch."

My God, were we separated at birth??? I too don't have Meaning of Life - never thought much of it

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"I live in Cumbria, and when Derek Bird went on his rampage, when the lockdown was lifted at my workplace and we were able to go home, we had to drive past two of the bodies to get home which wasn't nice.....next day gets the text "What's the quickest way to Scotland - just shoot through Cumbria" I laughed at it and forwarded it to friends....a lot of our humour is very black (as in dark, not a racist comment)

its like a relief valve, some will never grasp that fact or understand it..

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By *amslam1000Man
over a year ago

willenhall

"some of you are going too far now

not that i don't find some of the stuff amusing

just because jokes are being posted purely to cause offence as opposed to having any reference to the initial japery of the thread "

yes mut you mancs aint got any humour thr scousers have nicked it all

calm down calm down

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"Here at Castle Anthrax we

have but one punishment for insulting and disgusting people....you must tie me down on a bed and spank me

lol.

you have a very good film collection if that too is part of it lol

I love a bit of Python (fnar, fnar)....and after the spanking.....the oral sex

I might even let you come at me with a banana

apart from the meaning of life, i have the pythin films.

they are an excellent watch.

My God, were we separated at birth??? I too don't have Meaning of Life - never thought much of it"

you are like the sister i never wanted lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"some of you are going too far now

not that i don't find some of the stuff amusing

just because jokes are being posted purely to cause offence as opposed to having any reference to the initial japery of the thread

yes mut you mancs aint got any humour thr scousers have nicked it all

calm down calm down

i'm dead calm

my humour is in full fettle

just don't like to see people pushing the boundaries just for the sake of it

especially when it serves to satisfy the minds of the already narrow minded

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

I was gutted earlier, I had tickets to watch Jessica Ennis, but they were fakes.

How was I supposed to know that front row Tickets for the Ladies Showers don't really exist?

I always like to put music on to enhance the mood when I'm having sex.

Usually Whitesnake's 'Here I Go Again On My Own'.

My girlfriend was looking through my DVD collection. "What's 'Fight Club'? I've never heard of it," she said.

It's good to see the system's working.

I really enjoyed the Olympics opening ceremony, especially how it told the history of Great Britain.

My favourite bit was the parade with all the different countries we've conquered.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"some of you are going too far now

not that i don't find some of the stuff amusing

just because jokes are being posted purely to cause offence as opposed to having any reference to the initial japery of the thread

yes mut you mancs aint got any humour thr scousers have nicked it all

calm down calm down

i'm dead calm

my humour is in full fettle

just don't like to see people pushing the boundaries just for the sake of it

especially when it serves to satisfy the minds of the already narrow minded "

narrow minds never get fed.

they are anorexic lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Chinese girl swimming in finals today is expected to smash the world record by 10 seconds. Chi Ting Twat said she is very optimistic!

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

"some of you are going too far now

not that i don't find some of the stuff amusing

just because jokes are being posted purely to cause offence as opposed to having any reference to the initial japery of the thread "

agree.

don't mind a giggle but some are just out to antagonise and are well and truly out of order!

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

"some of you are going too far now

not that i don't find some of the stuff amusing

just because jokes are being posted purely to cause offence as opposed to having any reference to the initial japery of the thread

yes mut you mancs aint got any humour thr scousers have nicked it all

calm down calm down

"
hilarious

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

"I was very surprised that Hillsborough wasn't selected as an Olympic venue, given its experience with football, squash and fencing"

not even remotely funny!

just totally sick and uncalled for!

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

Why did Helen Keller’s dog commit suicide?

It couldn’t live with the name “aaaoouuueuuueaaoaa” any longer

Why did the feminist cross the road?

To suck my dick.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change the lightbulb, the other to suck my dick.

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog.

Four nuns are killed and arrive at the Gates of Heaven. They line up in front of St Peter.

The first nun says “St Peter, I once saw a man’s penis. May I still enter?”

St Peter replies “Wash your eyes in this font of holy water and proceed.”

The second nun says “St Peter, I once touched a man’s penis. May I still enter?”

St Peter replies “Wash your hands in this font of holy water and proceed.”

St Peter suddenly notices a scuffle between the last two nuns. The fourth nun is trying to cut in front of the third nun. “What is going on?” he asks the fourth nun.

“I’m trying to go first so I can wash my mouth out before she sticks her arse in the font”

What’s the best way to tell if your roommate is gay?

His dick tastes like shit.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I'm not a muff-muncher, but my girlfriend is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess when I joined Fab by its very nature I expected a fairly liberal minded community given that by our very nature we live outside of societal norms. How wrong I was.

I love dark humour. I'm very proud to be Britsh and love that comedy, light and dark, is a great national export as confirmed by Danny Boyle in his amazing Opening Ceremony.

Buta lot of these 'jokes' and particularly the latter ones are vile and have only been posted to create offence and not humour.

I'm also proud of free speech and would defend the right to tell these jokes (several but 2 specifically would have had you in prison in several European countries) but you must also respect mine and others right to stand appalled.

With the exception of Bussy the forum reads as a bit of a pack/mentality with any offence taken being railroaded over rather than ignored.

I once read a Daily Mail forum that equally horrified me. And what was it about? Not child abuse or rape victims as this was. Well sort of, it was about Swinging and how it was a gateway to sexual deviancy such as well child abuse and rape. Make of that what you will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LIFES A JOKE.....DEATH IS THE PUNCHLINE......someone kill this thread now before someone gets hurt...there's people getting angry now...

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"I guess when I joined Fab by its very nature I expected a fairly liberal minded community given that by our very nature we live outside of societal norms. How wrong I was.

I love dark humour. I'm very proud to be Britsh and love that comedy, light and dark, is a great national export as confirmed by Danny Boyle in his amazing Opening Ceremony.

Buta lot of these 'jokes' and particularly the latter ones are vile and have only been posted to create offence and not humour.

With the exception of Bussy the forum reads as a bit of a pack/mentality with any offence taken being railroaded over rather than ignored.

so the ability to make light of many subjects suggests you are able to carry out the henious crimes?

hardly.

humour is humour.

i have a very dark one, almost pitch black, doesnt mean i dont know the difference between right and wrong.

in my search for bad taste jokes i have come across ones that i feel have been too far (mostly about children i actually must say) yet personally, i found the joke, not the action itself, quite funny.

and thats it.

i find jokes funny, not subjects.

i dont sit watching the news pissing my pants at people being mugged, raped or murdered.

humour has its place.

if you cant differentiate that then i feel for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hear Crimewatch are releasing their 50 most wanted! Their calling it 50 shades of Black!

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

i find jokes funny, not subjects.

i dont sit watching the news pissing my pants at people being mugged, raped or murdered.

humour has its place.

you said it! humour does have its place!

but some of the shite you have spouted on here tonight is FAR from being humorous and is just down right offensive and sick with it!

there is dark humour and there is nasty, offensive and sick comments which you have made.

And as I said before, you are totally out of order!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has gone from bad to utterly sick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll never forget my wife's last words.

"Enough," she said. "That hole's twice the size we need for my mother's body."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hear hear Lulu. Am all for humour but not everyone has our boundaries x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This has gone from bad to utterly sick.

Agreed, I am all for a good joke, but some of the later jokes are just downright sick/offensive.

I hope admin remove and delete this thread soon.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

i find jokes funny, not subjects.

i dont sit watching the news pissing my pants at people being mugged, raped or murdered.

humour has its place.

you said it! humour does have its place!

but some of the shite you have spouted on here tonight is FAR from being humorous and is just down right offensive and sick with it!

there is dark humour and there is nasty, offensive and sick comments which you have made.

And as I said before, you are totally out of order! "

i appreciate you dont share my humour.

differences are what makes the world go round.

how can you say anything i post is nasty, sick or offensive when you have no idea who i am or what im about?

like i said earlier, give me comedy of years gone by when people didnt get offended by everything, any day.

leave your mamby pamby 'im on my period' jokes for those that dont like dark humour and thats fine.

as has been said, we are british.

we laugh at adversity.

we scoff at bleakness

we tweak the nose of death.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some peoples fun ends when another persons begins.....I do find it funny how some people on here think the jokes are getting sicker...like drowning while cockle picking....or getting shot in a cinema was ok...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Olympic Gymnast: Jumps 20 feet in the air, defies all laws of physics, does 10 backflips, defeats voldemort, comes back down and lands perfectly on the balance beam while fireworks go off in the background.

ME: I fall on my face as I try putting my knickers on."

that's so me! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely the more people protest about their distaste to some jokes the worse they're going to get just to wind people up!

Say nothing and let it run it's course

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

i appreciate you dont share my humour.

differences are what makes the world go round.

how can you say anything i post is nasty, sick or offensive when you have no idea who i am or what im about?

like i said earlier, give me comedy of years gone by when people didnt get offended by everything, any day.

leave your mamby pamby 'im on my period' jokes for those that dont like dark humour and thats fine.

as has been said, we are british.

we laugh at adversity.

we scoff at bleakness

we tweak the nose of death."

"I was very surprised that Hillsborough wasn't selected as an Olympic venue, given its experience with football, squash and fencing"

hmmm how can I say that what you have posted is not nasty, sick or offensive when you have no idea who i am or what im about?

Thankfully I do not know you. Do you know anyone who was affected by Hillsborough???

As I aforementioned, there is dark humour and there is some completely inappropriate comments made here, mainly by you!

oh and just for the record, I'm not british, so do not assume EVERY reader will be British, nor assume every British person will find you humorous.

I personally find your remarks offensive and nasty. not remotely funny at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/08/12 23:24:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You mention 'comedy of years gone by' and in a previous post asserted that despite a few battles the 2 world wars were fuelled/won by our comedy. As proud as I am about the British sense of humour this is laughable in itself. Through very sad, traumatic and bleak times we may have refined our black sense of humour but it was a war for gods sake. And a war against fascism at that.

I don't know you no. Only the written record you've left on here tonight as if its an Olympic race to out offend each other. There are some fantastic comics out there in the UK who are clever enough to get away with dark humour. But believe me you aren't one of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i find jokes funny, not subjects.

i dont sit watching the news pissing my pants at people being mugged, raped or murdered.

humour has its place.

you said it! humour does have its place!

but some of the shite you have spouted on here tonight is FAR from being humorous and is just down right offensive and sick with it!

there is dark humour and there is nasty, offensive and sick comments which you have made.

And as I said before, you are totally out of order!

i appreciate you dont share my humour.

differences are what makes the world go round.

how can you say anything i post is nasty, sick or offensive when you have no idea who i am or what im about?

like i said earlier, give me comedy of years gone by when people didnt get offended by everything, any day.

leave your mamby pamby 'im on my period' jokes for those that dont like dark humour and thats fine.

as has been said, we are british.

we laugh at adversity.

we scoff at bleakness

we tweak the nose of death."

i am a mickey taker

sometimes i say things that are inappropriate

sometimes i say things that are offensive

sometimes i say things that leave people taking a sharp intake of breath and saying 'oooh fkin ell steve, you're sailing close to the wind with that one'

like you, i also get somewhat annoyed by people taking offence easily to things that are intended in jest and like you, i don't think despite my humour that i am a bad person and yes i also know the difference between right and wrong

however, things i say, comments i make are generally stand alone comments and are in context to the person involved and or the situation concerned

how this thread has developed is a whole different thing all together with you being the main contributor to the decline

others have joined in, whereas you have persisted in what i believe to be nothing more than driving home a point because someone wound you up with 'politically correct' comments

what you have done is show a side to your persona that isn't a very attractive one

that is a shame, because i know you are a regular forums contributor and i (and no doubt others) enjoy your threads and your postings on a daily basis.

by driving home your point, your comments have come across as not only distasteful, but also have appeared to be offensive purely for the sake of it rather than having any particular intent.

it was almost like the naughty schoolboy who gets told off by teacher but persists in being naughty because he doesn't want to look little in front of his mates, but by then by persisting in his campaign he actually does just that, but without the teachers help

i am sincerely sorry if that seems personal and i assure you i won't let it affect my view of you as a contributor, but tonight i can't help but feel you have made a bit of a show of yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've liked some of these jokes because they are funny, well-crafted jokes. Some of them are appalling. Not because of the content but because they lack any wit or insight. The joke about the black/blue rape victim just isn't funny. Not because it's about rape but because it's a poor joke.

Jokes can come from a good or bad place and it is hard to tell which one it is on an internet forum. Most of, if not all, of the irony is lost as irony tends to come from the delivery. Therefore it comes down to whether the joke is witty and insightful. A joke from Jimmy Carr sounds very different when said by Jim Davidson. One will be ironic and knowing with a dash of post-modernism while the other will be hateful and derogative.

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By *cottishrichMan
over a year ago

Here and there

"Q)What did the the hotdog vendor at the bottom of the WTC say?

A)Who ordered the 2 jumbo's?

Q)How do you stop a gay from drowning?

A)Take your foot of his head!

Q)Whats blue and fucks grannys?

A)hyperthermia "

Q) what's blue and fucks granny's?

A) me, in my lucky blue coat.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

If anyone thinks jokes about child abuse and rape is acceptable you are on the wrong site.

Admin don't want this type of chat on here if you read the rules.

Now as this has turned into a "let's see who I can offend the most" and really disguting child abuse "jokes" I am shutting this.

Please read the forum rules before you post any "bad taste" "jokes"

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Bad joke as non pc - apologies upfront