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Favourite Funny TV Quote.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Bonus for identifying where the quote is from.

"Then why is there a Vagina in the Sink!!!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bonus for identifying where the quote is from.

"Then why is there a Vagina in the Sink!!!!"

"
Love a bit of Archer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a Kind of Midget, Isn't that a Queen song

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can’t trust people, Jez"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


""People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can’t trust people, Jez" "

Peep Show?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Bonus for identifying where the quote is from.

"Then why is there a Vagina in the Sink!!!!"

Love a bit of Archer "

It's the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can’t trust people, Jez"

Peep Show? "

Yeah, that was the easy one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem."

I'm still waiting for the opportunity to use this one in real life

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool


""People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can’t trust people, Jez" "

Peep show

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You wouldn't recognise a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing 'subtle plans are here again'."

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool


""Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem."

I'm still waiting for the opportunity to use this one in real life "

Frasier

Great quote

I've been dying to use it in the forums

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

What's your favourite beatles album?

Tough one..I'd say the best of the Beatles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" "You wouldn't recognise a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing 'subtle plans are here again'.""

Black adder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't tell him Pike

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't tell him Pike"

Dads Army

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

"It's over there between the land and the sky!".

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By *anfiona2Couple
over a year ago

ramsgate

“Do you want to be skinned alive and buggered?”

“I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!!”

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip


""It's over there between the land and the sky!"."

I was going to say that one!

Flowery Twats, or Watery Fowls.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

These are both from the same comedy, one of my all time favourites.

1

After socially-awkward Jeff tries to chat up a woman in a bar.. .

Patrick: How did it go?

Jeff: She thinks I collect women's ears in a bucket.

2

Jeff tries to chat up a woman on a train and ends up lying by saying he has a wooden leg.

Woman: What was wrong with your leg? Why did you have to have it amputated?

Jeff: Because it was... rubbish.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

We are on a winner ere Trig, play it nice and cool son, nice and cool, you know what I mean..........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's a Kind of Midget, Isn't that a Queen song"

Max & Paddy Road to Nowhere

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"We are on a winner ere Trig, play it nice and cool son, nice and cool, you know what I mean.......... "

A classic.

So why do they call you Dave.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing


""It's over there between the land and the sky!".

I was going to say that one!

Flowery Twats, or Watery Fowls. "

lol classic and my all time favourite comedy.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Super! Great!

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"We are on a winner ere Trig, play it nice and cool son, nice and cool, you know what I mean..........

A classic.

So why do they call you Dave. "

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UVYPE7NGbnw

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

[Removed by poster at 19/03/21 14:34:13]

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

I'm getting the word...nonce

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm getting the word...nonce"
Phoenix Nights

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where am from people are hospitable to strangers, but you lot have made us feel as welcome as a fart in an astronaut suit"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“I know they’ve sent monkeys into space, but do you really think they’ll have one driving a fire engine?”

And, different show, same writers;

“It says here that, when they arrested him, they found a man’s willy in his kettle!”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's because the cows over there are far far away...

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"I'm getting the word...noncePhoenix Nights "

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By *heeky wiggles2020Man
over a year ago

near the seaside

“I know, He’s as much use as a marzipan dildo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's because the cows over there are far far away... "

Thats the one I was gonna put lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crouching tiger hidden douche.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool


""Where am from people are hospitable to strangers, but you lot have made us feel as welcome as a fart in an astronaut suit" "

Auf wiedersen pet

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool


"I'm getting the word...noncePhoenix Nights "

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool


"That's because the cows over there are far far away... "

Father Ted?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pheeeeeeeeeb!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“What happens in the event that figure ‘A’ is attracted to figure ‘B’ and wants to get married. But figure ‘A’ is already married to figure ‘C’ and figure ‘B’ is engaged to figure ‘D’ but figure ‘A’ can’t keep his hands of figure ‘B’ because she’s got such a great figure.”

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By *uyfrombristolMan
over a year ago

Bristol


"Bonus for identifying where the quote is from.

"Then why is there a Vagina in the Sink!!!!"

"

Are we still doing phrasing? As Ripley said to the android Bishop.

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By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

the vale

Your not fooling anyone with that top knot.

Bald cunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ruud Gullit sitting on a shed"

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

‘ Yoooou dirrrty ole man’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"‘ Yoooou dirrrty ole man’"

Steptoe and Son

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" its a shit business....you'll find out"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“What happens in the event that figure ‘A’ is attracted to figure ‘B’ and wants to get married. But figure ‘A’ is already married to figure ‘C’ and figure ‘B’ is engaged to figure ‘D’ but figure ‘A’ can’t keep his hands of figure ‘B’ because she’s got such a great figure.”"

I am guessing no one knows this one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"" its a shit business....you'll find out""

League of gentlemen

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"What's your favourite beatles album?

Tough one..I'd say the best of the Beatles

"

I'm Alan Partridge

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Brian: Do you think I should lose the waistcoat?

Tim: I think you should burn it. Because if you lose it, you might find it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“What happens in the event that figure ‘A’ is attracted to figure ‘B’ and wants to get married. But figure ‘A’ is already married to figure ‘C’ and figure ‘B’ is engaged to figure ‘D’ but figure ‘A’ can’t keep his hands of figure ‘B’ because she’s got such a great figure.”

I am guessing no one knows this one"

I want to say Mash but I'm not 100 per cent on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“What happens in the event that figure ‘A’ is attracted to figure ‘B’ and wants to get married. But figure ‘A’ is already married to figure ‘C’ and figure ‘B’ is engaged to figure ‘D’ but figure ‘A’ can’t keep his hands of figure ‘B’ because she’s got such a great figure.”

I am guessing no one knows this one

I want to say Mash but I'm not 100 per cent on it "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“What happens in the event that figure ‘A’ is attracted to figure ‘B’ and wants to get married. But figure ‘A’ is already married to figure ‘C’ and figure ‘B’ is engaged to figure ‘D’ but figure ‘A’ can’t keep his hands of figure ‘B’ because she’s got such a great figure.”

I am guessing no one knows this one

I want to say Mash but I'm not 100 per cent on it

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know my feelings on asthma, take a deep breath and get over it"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Phoenix Nights, but there’s soo many!

Got to be Brian Potter ‘well I want to moonwalk son, but life’s a shithouse’

Would no doubt get plenty of PC complaints nowadays.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once""

?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once"

?????"

Allo allo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slaps money down on counter

"I'm out"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" "You wouldn't recognise a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing 'subtle plans are here again'.""

Blackadder?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's one big pile of shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Nostalgia isn't what it used to be'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I have first use of that Jacqueline.... yerrrrr, just give it a good rinse afterwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Born free.

Till somebody caught me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once a cunt always a cunt

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By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

If it's a girl they are calling it Sigourney, after an actress

If it's a boy they're calling it Rodney, after Dave

R

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One more facelift on this one, and she’ll have a beard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been so worried I haven't buffed my shoes in two days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Well may I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically across the plain!”

Basil Fawlty - Ledgend !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""It's over there between the land and the sky!"."

What do you expect to see? Herds of wildebeest flocking majestically

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I didn't get where I am today by selling ice cream tasting of bookends, pumice stone and West Germany"

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular


"Super! Great!"

Marvellous terrific!

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular


"Born free.

Till somebody caught me. "

Is that why they call him arsenic?

No that’s because he sat on a razor blade

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular


""Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once""

Good moaning

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By *ndecidedMan
over a year ago

London

Really? What are the chances of you running into a bald headed, anti apartheid Bros fan, who like Romanian reisling, has a Betamax video player and who's name is Gary??

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