FabSwingers.com forum: Health issues

By *imi_Rouge OP Woman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Following on from another post I've just seen about "honest descriptions"

When would you tell people about any health issues?

I have chronic pain/fatigue, an invisible illness. So I look ok... But my body can be a bit fragile.

I no longer want to be thrown round the bedroom or have hard and fast/rough sex.

Also my partner would have to be careful with positions

Partly why I'm on here, because I don't have the energy for a full time relationship.

What do you think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the health issues are invisible, I think they will come about quite naturally in conversation

I don't think a big deal needs to be made of them, but gauging reactions can be very telling

A lot of people like to put the idea over that they are some sort of sexual athlete

In reality, the majority of us are average shags - the extra dimension comes from how much you listen beforehand and how good you are at responding to body language when you are having sex with someone

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By *imi_Rouge OP Woman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"If the health issues are invisible, I think they will come about quite naturally in conversation

I don't think a big deal needs to be made of them, but gauging reactions can be very telling

A lot of people like to put the idea over that they are some sort of sexual athlete

Thanks x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from another post I've just seen about "honest descriptions"

When would you tell people about any health issues?

I have chronic pain/fatigue, an invisible illness. So I look ok... But my body can be a bit fragile.

I no longer want to be thrown round the bedroom or have hard and fast/rough sex.

Also my partner would have to be careful with positions

Partly why I'm on here, because I don't have the energy for a full time relationship.

What do you think?

Yes always best to be honest in my opinion - BUT - not to lead with it in first message as it gives the impression of being all there is about you.

I have creaky knees that in the winter get painful so once I am interested in a man and we start talking a bit deeper about kinks then I mention it. Not a huge disability but does affect positions and energy at times.

There is a couples profile on Fab where the woman is mostly in a wheelchair. I find her comments so uplifting to read - she is matter of fact about her disability but it doesn’t stop her from being a full on Fab member and living her life.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I say something right away, as I'm limited at the moment. There are some positions I can't get in and my legs don't open very wide now.

Big men are a problem for me as I can't open my hips wide to ride them.

I even struggled during my mammogram last week as they put your arms in awkward positions.

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

I have type one diabetes and I’m upfront about it’s I’m insulin dependant so wouldn’t want to need to inject in front of a meet without prior warning x

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By *imi_Rouge OP Woman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I say something right away, as I'm limited at the moment. There are some positions I can't get in and my legs don't open very wide now.

Big men are a problem for me as I can't open my hips wide to ride them.

I even struggled during my mammogram last week as they put your arms in awkward positions.

I have this same issue with guys who are wide!!

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I say something right away, as I'm limited at the moment. There are some positions I can't get in and my legs don't open very wide now.

Big men are a problem for me as I can't open my hips wide to ride them.

I even struggled during my mammogram last week as they put your arms in awkward positions.

I have this same issue with guys who are wide!! "

It's painful trying to accommodate a wide frame inside my legs .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Anybody who has penetrative sex with me needs to be careful, know that only certain positions are possible and that I may need to stop before they have cum and carry on without penetration. This is all too difficult to explain to casual partners hence we are soft swing nowadays. I say if it's relevant, mention it, if it isn't, don't.

I think it's very easy to read all the glowing reports of sexual prowess and imagine that you're the only one limited by ability or health but you're not.

Quite honestly I'm very happy with an erotic experience and not particularly concerned if it's not achieved in the way loads of people think it should be.

I also think that physical limits encourage imagination, inventiveness and can lead to untold pleasure and much joy.

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By *imi_Rouge OP Woman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Anybody who has penetrative sex with me needs to be careful, know that only certain positions are possible and that I may need to stop before they have cum and carry on without penetration. This is all too difficult to explain to casual partners hence we are soft swing nowadays. I say if it's relevant, mention it, if it isn't, don't.

I think it's very easy to read all the glowing reports of sexual prowess and imagine that you're the only one limited by ability or health but you're not.

Quite honestly I'm very happy with an erotic experience and not particularly concerned if it's not achieved in the way loads of people think it should be.

I also think that physical limits encourage imagination, inventiveness and can lead to untold pleasure and much joy.

Thanks x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think it's very easy to read all the glowing reports of sexual prowess and imagine that you're the only one limited by ability or health but you're not.

Quite honestly I'm very happy with an erotic experience and not particularly concerned if it's not achieved in the way loads of people think it should be.

I also think that physical limits encourage imagination, inventiveness and can lead to untold pleasure and much joy.

Thanks x"

Mr N has chronic pain too. It's horrible isn't it

. I'm just post menopause with a dodgy episiotomy scar.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I think that it depends on the person and the issues.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of but in general terms, if it will impact on the ‘type’ of meet, then it needs to be addressed fairly early into the conversation.

I think that most people are considerate and accommodating with pretty much any issue, so long as it’s openly discussed. I’ve met a number of people with varying degrees of ‘issues’ from physical ailments, chronic conditions, mental illness and physical impairment. It’s the person that matters

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By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

When I feel the time is right to tell them. I try not let my illness control me having funny.

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By *imi_Rouge OP Woman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I think that it depends on the person and the issues.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of but in general terms, if it will impact on the ‘type’ of meet, then it needs to be addressed fairly early into the conversation.

I'm always very clear about the type of meet and what I'm looking for before I even mention any health issues.

Thanks x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd want to know straight away, I'd hate to think was chasing any pain or discomfort to my partner just because they want to keep me happy. Mutual enjoyment always makes for the best experience anyway

In terms of when I would tell them, I would just say that even though I look slim, my stamina is shit

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I'm upfront about the fact I'm gonna turn up in a wheelchair, will use crutches to move on foot and can't do certain things/positions BUT continue to have very satisfying and fulfilling sex

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

With what we do, before any play we need to be aware if any health issues, physical limitations and in some cases what medication they may be taking.

This allows us to ensure that all play is safe and does not lead to or exacerbate any issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people should be upfront and honest about anything that could impact a meet. Anything else I'm not bothered about as I'm not looking for a life partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My body looks nice so I’m told but inside the pain in my lower back makes my body a unpleasant place to be stuck in at times

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I wouldn’t put it on my profile because it’s only relevant to some types of play, and I would only do those things with someone I trust. If I’ve got to a point with someone that I trust them enough for that kind of play, then telling them about my health problems is natural as well as necessary. And with some other people, we’re friendly enough that it’s not weird to talk about things like that. But with most people I wouldn’t bother mentioning it as it’s not relevant. If I had an issue that would impact on vanilla sex, then I’d tell people before a meet, but I still wouldn’t put it on my profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Likewise, my hobbies and pastimes have left me with occasional chronic back issues.

Yes I'm for and during but there are days I couldn't lift my cat up. This can happen any time and I rarely have any warning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty is best way forward, when the time is right for that honest conversation to be held, so certain things about me im open n honest about, but only when I feel its the correct time to expose it....but also when I don't feel like ill be judged for it, thats a big one for me that the person/s will receive it with an open mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from another post I've just seen about "honest descriptions"

When would you tell people about any health issues?

I have chronic pain/fatigue, an invisible illness. So I look ok... But my body can be a bit fragile.

I no longer want to be thrown round the bedroom or have hard and fast/rough sex.

Also my partner would have to be careful with positions

Partly why I'm on here, because I don't have the energy for a full time relationship.

What do you think?

I hope you are ok? It can be tricky can't it?

Anyone I'm close enough to have sex with knows about my condition.

Never had any negativity from it. It is a good measure of attitudes and attributes from the start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from another post I've just seen about "honest descriptions"

When would you tell people about any health issues?

I have chronic pain/fatigue, an invisible illness. So I look ok... But my body can be a bit fragile.

I no longer want to be thrown round the bedroom or have hard and fast/rough sex.

Also my partner would have to be careful with positions

Partly why I'm on here, because I don't have the energy for a full time relationship.

What do you think?

I hope you are ok? It can be tricky can't it?

Anyone I'm close enough to have sex with knows about my condition.

Never had any negativity from it. It is a good measure of attitudes and attributes from the start.

If any one was to be negative they'd be showing they're not interested in the you as a person wouldn't it?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I’d hope to be told stuff but not if it doesn’t affect sex any.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from another post I've just seen about "honest descriptions"

When would you tell people about any health issues?

I have chronic pain/fatigue, an invisible illness. So I look ok... But my body can be a bit fragile.

I no longer want to be thrown round the bedroom or have hard and fast/rough sex.

Also my partner would have to be careful with positions

Partly why I'm on here, because I don't have the energy for a full time relationship.

What do you think?

I hope you are ok? It can be tricky can't it?

Anyone I'm close enough to have sex with knows about my condition.

Never had any negativity from it. It is a good measure of attitudes and attributes from the start.

If any one was to be negative they'd be showing they're not interested in the you as a person wouldn't it?

Exactly that, or have any regard for my health and welfare.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have two hidden illnesses and at a certain point with someone I'll tell them about them before it gets any further. If they continue to chat then all is good. Later I say how the land lies with the illnesses and how could affect anything of it gets that far.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Can I be really nosey and know what condition people have got?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think the only answer to the "when" question is when it feels right for you, simple as that - now that may be guided by circumstance, the other person and more but when you feel comfortable enough to discuss it is all that really matters.

As others have said there's a lot of misperception on here about peoples abilities and indeed expectations - simple truth is good sex is about two compatible people coming together, going with the flow and enjoying their time together regardless of the mechanics - so anyone that doesn't get that or understand your needs (in terms of what is possible as opposed to sexual "needs") wouldn't be compatible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mention my arthritis in my profile because blokes like to tell me they want me to ride their cock, before they've even bought me a coffee

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

It’s good to be honest but it’s up to you when you to decide when to tell someone.

If it is something that could manifest itself at a social or a meet, I think it’s best they are forewarned so they know how to deal with it, if it arises.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"It’s good to be honest but it’s up to you when you to decide when to tell someone.

If it is something that could manifest itself at a social or a meet, I think it’s best they are forewarned so they know how to deal with it, if it arises. "
line projectile vomiting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chronic back pain causes me s lot of issues especially when in doggy as some people want you at contortionist levels of arched and I cant cope with it.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Can I be really nosey and know what condition people have got? "

Nerve injury from pregnancy which has buggered the muscles in my left leg, loads of bust lumbar and sacral discs, pelvic organ prolapse. Nowt much.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Can I be really nosey and know what condition people have got?

Nerve injury from pregnancy which has buggered the muscles in my left leg, loads of bust lumbar and sacral discs, pelvic organ prolapse. Nowt much."
blimey!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Can I be really nosey and know what condition people have got?

Nerve injury from pregnancy which has buggered the muscles in my left leg, loads of bust lumbar and sacral discs, pelvic organ prolapse. Nowt much. blimey! "

Meh, I trundle on

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"It’s good to be honest but it’s up to you when you to decide when to tell someone.

If it is something that could manifest itself at a social or a meet, I think it’s best they are forewarned so they know how to deal with it, if it arises.

line projectile vomiting.

It has been known if I get a whiff of a fart

I’m useless with bad smells and need to escape the area quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I be really nosey and know what condition people have got? "

Atrial fibrillation caused by a leaking heart valve.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Can I be really nosey and know what condition people have got?

Atrial fibrillation caused by a leaking heart valve."
I hope my photo hasn’t worsened things.

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By *imi_Rouge OP Woman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Lots of lower back problems.... I'm definitely in that club.

Fractured my coccyx many years ago and was never right after that.

Got a dodgy disc at L5/S1, affects my left leg.

So chronic pain/fatigue.

Hypermobile... But more stiff than bendy these days lol

Also B12/vit D deficient. So I do my own B12 injections and take lots of supplements (happy to help people with recommendations for these) they've helped my fatigue.

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By *imi_Rouge OP Woman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I hope you are ok? It can be tricky can't it?

Anyone I'm close enough to have sex with knows about my condition.

Never had any negativity from it. It is a good measure of attitudes and attributes from the start.

Thanks for asking, I'm not too bad! Missing my regular sports massage which is one thing that really helps!

I warned my last partner and he was very accommodating.

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By *imi_Rouge OP Woman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"My body looks nice so I’m told but inside the pain in my lower back makes my body a unpleasant place to be stuck in at times "

I know that feeling!!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I dont go straight into it with ne meets ( i know longer have knew meets). bur after a while of taalking i

and can see im not a fruit bat i drop it into conersation.

Everyone has been thoughtful and considerate and asked me how they can make the meet better.

But in fairness if i meet im well if im not then i simply dont meet

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