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How many does it take to change a lightbulb?

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

To complement the lightbulb thread, here is a thread to post your “how many” lightbulb jokes to

I’ll go first

How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?

52

One to change the lightbulb

One to hold the ladder

50 more to say “that should be me up there!”

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

How many pilots/ MPs/ celebrities etc does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. They just hold it up and the world revolves around them

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, because we are very efficient, and this isn't a humorous activity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/03/21 11:16:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[ removed by poster at 17/03/21 11:16:17]"

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

How many taxi drivers does it take to change a light bulb?

What? All the way up there, mate, at this time of night? You must be joking.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle


"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, because we are very efficient, and this isn't a humorous activity."

I thought you were going to say nein

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don’t like to share the spotlight.

..........................................................................

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2 but nobody knows how they got in there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change. "

Slick

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb?

.

Whats a lightbulb?

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

How many existentialist does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two.

One to replace the bulb and the other to observe how the bulb symbolises a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a nether world of endless absurdity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How many existentialist does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two.

One to replace the bulb and the other to observe how the bulb symbolises a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a nether world of endless absurdity. "

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By *P994Man
over a year ago

Travelling

How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

How many sound engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One

Two

One two

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

Lots.

One to change the bulb,

one to say how much better Eric Clapton would have done it,

one to say how much better David Gilmour would have done it,

one to say how much better Mark Knopfler would have done it,

one to say how much better Gary Moore would have done it,

... you get the picture.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon


"How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

Lots.

One to change the bulb,

one to say how much better Eric Clapton would have done it,

one to say how much better David Gilmour would have done it,

one to say how much better Mark Knopfler would have done it,

one to say how much better Gary Moore would have done it,

... you get the picture. "

Then all the above would say Jeff Beck does it best.

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular


"How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

Lots.

One to change the bulb,

one to say how much better Eric Clapton would have done it,

one to say how much better David Gilmour would have done it,

one to say how much better Mark Knopfler would have done it,

one to say how much better Gary Moore would have done it,

... you get the picture.

Then all the above would say Jeff Beck does it best."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many fabs members does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answers on the back of a postcard ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?

Toucan do it

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

According to the 7 page directive on changing lightbulbs,from the HR department of my old company- At least 2. Any light bulb over shoulder height required 1 to hold the ladder and one to change the bulb. Preferably with a 3rd person guarding and controlling the mains switch. All should be wearing insulating gloves and footwear. As well as eye protection. Etc. Unless the lightbulbs were over 2.7m which then required a scaffold.....

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Sex.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many can you afford?

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?

If the lightbulb needed changing, the market would have already done it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but only if the lightbulb really wants to change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

A Brazilian

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero.

They will tell you the correct nomenclature is lamp and that bulbs go in the fucking ground.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

How many cats does it take to change a lightbulb?

*Clears throat..... Excuse me, cats don’t change lightbulbs, people change light bulbs.

So, the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many Brexiters does it take to replace a lightbulb?

One to promise a brighter future and one to screw it up.

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