FabSwingers.com forum: Eggshells

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you feel as if you're treading on eggshells lately with the world?

Not just fab life but real life. Thinking before you open your mouth when you never use to incase you offended that 1 person.

Wanting to raise a topic but you're worried you'll be burnt down for your words?

Lately things have made me stop and not say what's on my mind. And I never use to be like that.

Me personally I blame social media..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people are too scared to comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup...

Her x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think people are too scared to comment

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Not really, but my real life friend circle is small and we are all like minded

On here if I want to say it I just do, if I have offended anymore they generally dm me to tell me, but I'm not going to tone down for others or I may as well not open my mouth

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

Nope I always say it as I see it if people don’t agree then ... meh.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

Yep, I barely post anything on my social media accounts anymore unless it's something I know is completely neutral and I don't comment on others posts either. It's not even like I have any extreme views either but the internet/social media stopped being a fun place years ago and I can't be arsed getting dragged into bitter spats with friends or strangers over throwaway comments meant as banter or for offering a difference of opinion for debate.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

"Not really, but my real life friend circle is small and we are all like minded

On here if I want to say it I just do, if I have offended anymore they generally dm me to tell me, but I'm not going to tone down for others or I may as well not open my mouth

Yep exactly this

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

I actually do think it’s more a male thing especially at the moment - can’t do right for doing wrong maybe? I feel for men a lot of the time to be honest. (Haha no pun intended) hopefully when we all can have more freedom the frustrations will lessen.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

I go to comment and then think what’s the point it will only get derailed by the usual suspects..

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I say what I think, I might not always share it in platforms like this, as the toxicity twists everything.

My circle of friends might not all think alike, but we manage to have a healthy discussion of topics without shouting down each other’s views, seeing both sides with an open mind.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I actually do think it’s more a male thing especially at the moment - can’t do right for doing wrong maybe? I feel for men a lot of the time to be honest. (Haha no pun intended) hopefully when we all can have more freedom the frustrations will lessen. "

I don't think you're wrong there.

And sure I understand the lockdown has heighten our feelings. I just don't know how to communicate on certain things I use to be able too these days.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Do you feel as if you're treading on eggshells lately with the world?

Not just fab life but real life. Thinking before you open your mouth when you never use to incase you offended that 1 person.

Wanting to raise a topic but you're worried you'll be burnt down for your words?

Lately things have made me stop and not say what's on my mind. And I never use to be like that.

Me personally I blame social media.."

I kind of get where you are coming from - it does seem as if we have to be a bit more cautious when expressing an opinion. I have found myself saying the "wrong" thing with the most sincere intentions, inadvertently offending where I was trying to help.

Maybe we are a little sensitive at the moment for a number of reasons including feeling a tad more vulnerable (Covid, Brexit etc) than usual.

I also think that it is not such a bad idea to think before we speak - when amongst people we know well perhaps this is not so much of an issue but with people we do not know well, where we do not know their story - maybe it is a good idea to think how what we say could be taken the wrong way?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Some people seem to only be on social media for the arguments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah totally get what your saying. Maybe it’s this lockdown and everyone has nothing else to focus on

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By *osey WalesMan
over a year ago

Surrey

"Do you feel as if you're treading on eggshells lately with the world?

Not just fab life but real life. Thinking before you open your mouth when you never use to incase you offended that 1 person.

Wanting to raise a topic but you're worried you'll be burnt down for your words?

Lately things have made me stop and not say what's on my mind. And I never use to be like that.

Me personally I blame social media.."

I would like to agree but a little anxious about doing so

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

"Do you feel as if you're treading on eggshells lately with the world?

Not just fab life but real life. Thinking before you open your mouth when you never use to incase you offended that 1 person.

Wanting to raise a topic but you're worried you'll be burnt down for your words?

Lately things have made me stop and not say what's on my mind. And I never use to be like that.

Me personally I blame social media..

I would like to agree but a little anxious about doing so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you feel as if you're treading on eggshells lately with the world?

Not just fab life but real life. Thinking before you open your mouth when you never use to incase you offended that 1 person.

Wanting to raise a topic but you're worried you'll be burnt down for your words?

Lately things have made me stop and not say what's on my mind. And I never use to be like that.

Me personally I blame social media..

I would like to agree but a little anxious about doing so

Be careful... You might get called out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apart from work, I'm seriously glad I don't do social media and haven't for years!

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By *luebellRacerCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

I think we are all heightened at the moment, but I do also think it's a good thing that people are assessing their behaviours and being more aware of how they speak or acts affects others.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

It's a tough one because maybe being more aware of what you say isnt necessarily a bad thing but on the flip side is quite easy to make a throwaway comment,and it causes offence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's unwise to think before you speak or input onto social media. Things are a bit heightened at the moment. One can debate with respect for others. If i feel that I'm not going to at least make another person think then I give up. Not trying to win just an acknowledgement that they have at least considered what I've said and not just a knee jerk reaction. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree. If it gets abusive then I block

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Trouble is there is too much of a finger pointing blame culture currently on both sides of the fence and people tend to focus too much on that rather than trying to see other perspectives or work together to find a middle ground.

Add to that that it can sometimes be difficult to know what is acceptable and what isn't, when you get a variety of views on certain subjects that swing from the extremely offended to the not at all offended and it can be a minefield at times, and eggshells is a good way of describing it.

Personally I know my opinions and the things I believe in are ideologically sound (even if my articulation of them can be flawed or misunderstood sometimes) and I have nothing to be ashamed of in any of them so where relevant and I feel comfortable to do so I have no problem airing them.

That said on here more and more lately I find myself avoiding posting as there are too many polarised views with no middle ground or acceptance of working together to find a solution to be found, where any suggestion of doing that or going against certain viewpoints is dismissed with fingerpointing and a refusal to accept an alternate opinion, regardless of how balanced, reasoned and sound that opinion might be - so not so much a case of walking on eggshells as avoiding completely as there really is no point commenting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Trouble is there is too much of a finger pointing blame culture currently on both sides of the fence and people tend to focus too much on that rather than trying to see other perspectives or work together to find a middle ground.

I wish I could steal your mind when i want to write something.

Can I borrow you in the future

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Eloquently put.

The only thing I will say is sometimes there is no middle ground,and it only takes 1 person to say something provocative, deliberately or otherwise, and the battle lines are drawn.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

It does create echo chambers though, people with different opinions don't make them known because of the abuse they get from the other side, so it gives the false impression that everyone is on the same page.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"It does create echo chambers though, people with different opinions don't make them known because of the abuse they get from the other side, so it gives the false impression that everyone is on the same page. "

True

I think it's a polarising debate though.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

I haven't read all of the comments but I think it's to do with the times we live in. Some people think it's empowering to be offended, but the opposite is the case.

It also makes you very unpopular. I used to get on great with a friend of mine, we had great craic. However, I once decided to be offended by something he said and he has treated me differently ever since, despite my apologising. It was a hard lesson learned I must say. Mrs

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"The only thing I will say is sometimes there is no middle ground,and it only takes 1 person to say something provocative, deliberately or otherwise, and the battle lines are drawn."

Middle ground doesn't always have to be compromise or a point between two views though, sometimes it can be agreeing to disagree, or taking an adult approach and respecting another's opinion even if you can't agree with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yep.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"The only thing I will say is sometimes there is no middle ground,and it only takes 1 person to say something provocative, deliberately or otherwise, and the battle lines are drawn.

Yep true

Cant argue with that

I think it's also obvs an emotive subject aswell.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Not really. I've always been taught to think before I speak and I don't want to hurt people. If people are upset by my language and I can easily express what I mean differently in a way that doesn't hurt them then I'd rather do so. It can be uncomfortable to inadvertently offend but it's all part and parcel of learning how to socially navigate the world and I'm always open to learning how I can do better. I'm not always going to understand things I've never experienced and I find it helpful to listen to those who have so I can try to empathise with them more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won’t even get into conversations when unknown people are trying to bait me. And lately, a lot (a lot) of people think they are journalists trying to create a debate...they are not, they are just pushing their agenda, looking for an argument.

*woodyb walks away and orders a beer

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not really. I've always been taught to think before I speak and I don't want to hurt people. If people are upset by my language and I can easily express what I mean differently in a way that doesn't hurt them then I'd rather do so. It can be uncomfortable to inadvertently offend but it's all part and parcel of learning how to socially navigate the world and I'm always open to learning how I can do better. I'm not always going to understand things I've never experienced and I find it helpful to listen to those who have so I can try to empathise with them more. "

One thing I do need to do more is try and remember I cant understand things I've never experienced too.

I guess my way of putting things across sometimes stops me because I haven't got a vast knowledge of words and expressing things through written stuff.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I won’t even get into conversations when unknown people are trying to bait me. And lately, a lot (a lot) of people think they are journalists trying to create a debate...they are not, they are just pushing their agenda, looking for an argument.

*woodyb walks away and orders a beer

Order me one too while you're there please?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Do you feel as if you're treading on eggshells lately with the world?

Not just fab life but real life. Thinking before you open your mouth when you never use to incase you offended that 1 person.

Wanting to raise a topic but you're worried you'll be burnt down for your words?

Lately things have made me stop and not say what's on my mind. And I never use to be like that.

Me personally I blame social media.."

That's how it feels 24/7 in an abusive relationship.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Do you feel as if you're treading on eggshells lately with the world?

Not just fab life but real life. Thinking before you open your mouth when you never use to incase you offended that 1 person.

Wanting to raise a topic but you're worried you'll be burnt down for your words?

Lately things have made me stop and not say what's on my mind. And I never use to be like that.

Me personally I blame social media.."

No because I know how to word my opinions without causing offence (mostly

). It seems to me that too many people have adopted 'I am who I am, like me or leave me' approaches and gobb off at any opportunity..... Especially online and especially to grab attention.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

One thing I do need to do more is try and remember I cant understand things I've never experienced too.

I guess my way of putting things across sometimes stops me because I haven't got a vast knowledge of words and expressing things through written stuff. "

The fact you acknowledge you can't understand things you haven't experienced is awesome tho. There's plenty of stuff I can possibly imagine, but not understand.

There's fuck all wrong with trying to understand tho, or accepting you don't and maybe never will.

We also have to remember that even though we may have had similar experiences, how we personally experience them may be totally different.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

One thing I do need to do more is try and remember I cant understand things I've never experienced too.

I guess my way of putting things across sometimes stops me because I haven't got a vast knowledge of words and expressing things through written stuff. "

Words very often feel imperfect and they're very open to interpretation which certainly can be a problem.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

One thing I do need to do more is try and remember I cant understand things I've never experienced too.

I guess my way of putting things across sometimes stops me because I haven't got a vast knowledge of words and expressing things through written stuff.

The fact you acknowledge you can't understand things you haven't experienced is awesome tho. There's plenty of stuff I can possibly imagine, but not understand.

There's fuck all wrong with trying to understand tho, or accepting you don't and maybe never will.

We also have to remember that even though we may have had similar experiences, how we personally experience them may be totally different.

Absolutely agree!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you feel as if you're treading on eggshells lately with the world?

Not just fab life but real life. Thinking before you open your mouth when you never use to incase you offended that 1 person.

Wanting to raise a topic but you're worried you'll be burnt down for your words?

Lately things have made me stop and not say what's on my mind. And I never use to be like that.

Me personally I blame social media..

That's how it feels 24/7 in an abusive relationship. "

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