FabSwingers.com forum: Vulnerable woman

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Watching the news over the past couple of days, it really upsets me that so many woman feel vulnerable around men. I work in a industry where I’ve heard stories of men acting in such a way, which angers me. Although it’s not all men no woman in this age should feel like that. No person should feel unsafe. Are we going backwards ? I often think this world is getting worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Watching the news over the past couple of days, it really upsets me that so many woman feel vulnerable around men. I work in a industry where I’ve heard stories of men acting in such a way, which angers me. Although it’s not all men no woman in this age should feel like that. No person should feel unsafe. Are we going backwards ? I often think this world is getting worse. "

Hold on to your hat,OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's getting worse. We're just more aware of it thanks to social media and 24 hour news.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

As a race we are destructive, from time beginning to time end we seek to hurt others.

It won't change in my life time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it's getting worse. We're just more aware of it thanks to social media and 24 hour news.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I fear that you’re right, it feels like we won’t be happy until we are all segregated and broken

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

I was also shocked to see women feel threatened, I was of the impression women were feeling more empowered and in charge over recent years. I am saddened that we have to hear such stupid comments as men having a curfew imopsed on them albeit from some looney but all the same for it to even be discussed is shocking.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

It’s made me think about my behaviour and how I can mitigate how I act when out and about to appear less threatening. Looking like Rory McCann looking out the darkness is enough for anybody.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

All this has done is made me realise how 'blind' and 'indifferent' men are towards attitudes to women per se. Come to think of it , women too.

The stats, the news reports have been around since time began ..... and yet it is taken as just everyday occurrences that none of us ,and I mean women too , need to bother our pretty heads with. Too busy, not about me, someone elses wife, mother , daughter, g/f

When I said on here that I couldn't watch all the murder series that are put on for entertainment purposes and that the victimes are more often than not women and that they are more often than not killed by men , I get responses that portray me as some kind of nutter.......

Murder porn... society loves it.

Don't confuse those with the documentaries that report on a murder or the detection or the history or psychology ......... I mean the ones that are just gore, gore, sensationalised - glorification.

Lovely way to spend ninety minutes.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The way women are viewed is ingrained in our society...... and women help perpetuate it. We are all unwilling upholders of the ideology we live under.

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

It is still the case that children are still mainly brought up by their mothers. Little boys spend a large portion of their childhood with their mothers whos views and values are in stilled into them as little boys,young men.It is therefore quite surprising that we are being led to believe that a large portion of men in society do not respect women and treat them so badly. Where did it all go so wrong?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think we have become desensitised over the years. We watch films and tv of sexual assault murder and violence, and that’s for entertainment. The music is so sexualised now the wet ass pussy song for instance. Then our children play video games that include all of the above. It’s only a matter of time before those behaviours are accepted because the consequences and reality of the acts of them has been reduced due to being desensitised.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately it’s just the next online Twitter cause and I’m sure next week it will be another outrage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All this has done is made me realise how 'blind' and 'indifferent' men are towards attitudes to women per se. Come to think of it , women too.

Murder porn... society loves it.

Don't confuse those with the documentaries that report on a murder or the detection or the history or psychology ......... I mean the ones that are just gore, gore, sensationalised - glorification.

Lovely way to spend ninety minutes. "

I agree - many of the tv programmes are so violent and porn like in the way they depict murders that I often have to look away. My daughter’s generation (30’s) tell me of sexual assault on the underground and men treating them like free porn stars to use and abuse - things have definitely not improved for women over my lifetime.

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

If we look at men in society generally, then no, no I don't believe for a second that men are worse than in the past.

On average we are quite a bit improved on previous models.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I think we have become desensitised over the years. We watch films and tv of sexual assault murder and violence, and that’s for entertainment. The music is so sexualised now the wet ass pussy song for instance. Then our children play video games that include all of the above. It’s only a matter of time before those behaviours are accepted because the consequences and reality of the acts of them has been reduced due to being desensitised. "

I don't buy into this theory, most of the harassment I faced was in the 90's and early 00's. It is not that we are desensitised it's just women don't see the point in reporting it and it happens so much we forget all the incidents and they merge into one. Been chatting with my mates this weekend who I used to go clubbing with. And if was literally do you remember the time...... And it was a oh I forgot about that one do you remember..

And even if when we report it nothing is done so we stop talking about it accepting it. It's just that with the tragedy of the last week, it's opened up the conversation.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"If we look at men in society generally, then no, no I don't believe for a second that men are worse than in the past.

On average we are quite a bit improved on previous models. "

I think this is true, a male colleague made some inappropriate comments towards me. I reported it to my male boss and another male colleague. And it was dealt with swiftly and professionally.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I do not know if society is getting worse or not - we would need evidence for that. Does it FEEL as if things are deteriorating? Possibly.

Do I feel safe walking home on my own? It depends but by and large, I try to avoid it, always have done.

I think it is important to call out bad behaviour, irrespective of the perpetrator.

I do not believe that the man accused of Sarah Everhard's murder suddenly turned. There are likely to have been inappropriate behaviours, actions, remarks about and towards women that in isolation might have been just about tolerable (or not?) and that should have been called out each time.

Until we nip such things in the bud, until we recognise and implement a respectful attitude towards everybody, society is unlikely to improve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do not know if society is getting worse or not - we would need evidence for that. Does it FEEL as if things are deteriorating? Possibly.

Do I feel safe walking home on my own? It depends but by and large, I try to avoid it, always have done.

I think it is important to call out bad behaviour, irrespective of the perpetrator.

Until we nip such things in the bud, until we recognise and implement a respectful attitude towards everybody, society is unlikely to improve. "

Yes I am sure he has not gone from zero to 100 in one person. I hope we don’t find that he has killed before.

My step daughter is in the Met and the force does attract a certain type of guy for some posts, some of the things she told me about female officer harassment and racism shocked me. I can’t believe that he had been cleared for gun holding posts even after being found not medically fit before working at the US Embassy - especially as he had only been in the force for 2 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The way women are viewed is ingrained in our society...... and women help perpetuate it. We are all unwilling upholders of the ideology we live under. "

Powerful !

Indeed, women's subjectivities are highly dependent on society's perspectives.

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

I do not know if society is getting worse or not - we would need evidence for that. Does it FEEL as if things are deteriorating? Possibly.

Do I feel safe walking home on my own? It depends but by and large, I try to avoid it, always have done.

I think it is important to call out bad behaviour, irrespective of the perpetrator.

Until we nip such things in the bud, until we recognise and implement a respectful attitude towards everybody, society is unlikely to improve.

Yes I am sure he has not gone from zero to 100 in one person. I hope we don’t find that he has killed before.

There's more to it definitely. He's either had a psychotic breakdown of some rare description, or he's done serious stuff before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually do think it is getting worse.

And I think it has a lot to do with social media, I’ve watched women try to speak up about their experiences and then show screenshots of abuse they’ve received from men 5 minutes after.

It’s now easier to harass people because we have the internet and these days everyone has access to it. I’ve lost count of the amount of sexual messages unprovoked I receive on my personal social media accounts.

As women we tend to put up with it because it happens so often it’s become normal.

I remember when I wanted to report a sexual assault, it was actually stealthing (look it up) and I ended up getting pregnant and having to have an abortion, the police officer who came to my home to get a statement actually asked me if I have one night stands often & if I have “got myself into this situation” before.

Bearing in mind this wasn’t a one night stand, but he assumed it was. The blame was already put on me when he said the above.

Women have to deal with being blamed all the time, being asked what we were wearing, did we give out any signals that may have prompted the man to act a certain way etc.

This is what stops those who experience sexual assault/harassment and all the rest from reporting it, and then the perpetrators get away with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually do think it is getting worse.

And I think it has a lot to do with social media, I’ve watched women try to speak up about their experiences and then show screenshots of abuse they’ve received from men 5 minutes after.

As women we tend to put up with it because it happens so often it’s become normal.

Bearing in mind this wasn’t a one night stand, but he assumed it was. The blame was already put on me when he said the above.

Women have to deal with being blamed all the time, being asked what we were wearing, did we give out any signals that may have prompted the man to act a certain way etc.

This is what stops those who experience sexual assault/harassment and all the rest from reporting it, and then the perpetrators get away with it. "

That’s dreadful and I am sorry you experienced that.

I believe now that is classed as r*pe because he did not have your consent. Of course proving it is problematic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a sad state of affairs that I don't know a single woman who hasn't experienced some level of sexual harrasmemt, most have experienced some level of violent sexual assault too, myself I experience sexual harrasmemt daily at work by men you would consider nice guys, fathers to young daughters, would help out anyone who needed it... But also don't see the harm in making sexual remarks about a woman's body.. To her despite her obvious discomfort, who will message a woman every day for over a year despite not getting replies back.. The fact is they don't see that that behaviour is problematic so how do you go about changing it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think because of social media being the driving forces behind a lot of campaigns, We are now more aware than ever of what goes on.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"The way women are viewed is ingrained in our society...... and women help perpetuate it. We are all unwilling upholders of the ideology we live under. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" most have experienced some level of violent sexual assault too"

I don't think statements like that are particularly helpful or accurate

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"It's a sad state of affairs that I don't know a single woman who hasn't experienced some level of sexual harrasmemt, most have experienced some level of violent sexual assault too, myself I experience sexual harrasmemt daily at work by men you would consider nice guys, fathers to young daughters, would help out anyone who needed it... But also don't see the harm in making sexual remarks about a woman's body.. To her despite her obvious discomfort, who will message a woman every day for over a year despite not getting replies back.. The fact is they don't see that that behaviour is problematic so how do you go about changing it? "

I'm not sure you can..like you said.. the dont think they are doing anything wrong.

The only solution I can think off Is this type of thing needs to be taught at school.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"I actually do think it is getting worse.

And I think it has a lot to do with social media, I’ve watched women try to speak up about their experiences and then show screenshots of abuse they’ve received from men 5 minutes after.

As women we tend to put up with it because it happens so often it’s become normal.

Bearing in mind this wasn’t a one night stand, but he assumed it was. The blame was already put on me when he said the above.

Women have to deal with being blamed all the time, being asked what we were wearing, did we give out any signals that may have prompted the man to act a certain way etc.

This is what stops those who experience sexual assault/harassment and all the rest from reporting it, and then the perpetrators get away with it. "

I was reading something yesterday where it was saying the allegations of sexual harassment which are actually investigated is tiny.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

As much as I may be a gobby little cunt, I have to be a fool not to admit.... I AM vulnerable around men.

I'm under 5ft, and even though I like to think I'd have a decent scrap, I'm physically very vulnerable.

I've had many experiences growing up and in recent years that have made me extremely uncomfortable. I've been assaulted on more than one occasion.

Unfortunately some folks on here don't help. They'll send messages saying things to get your attention. Things that are really bloody creepy because (I'm hoping) they simply want to be acknowledged and wouldn't actually do the things they say.

There's stuff that gets openly admitted on the forums too. Workmen saying they enjoy going through women's dirty laundry looking for knickers so they can have a sniff.

Gym goers admitting to leering over women whilst they're working out.

The list is endless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ? "

I don't think anyone realised how bad it is. I know I didn't. I knew my own experiences but had no clue I wasn't simply just really fucking unlucky and there's not been a single woman I've spoken to over the last week who hasn't experienced harassment/assault/intimidation by the male humans.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ? "

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ? "

In a world where all women are taught from a relitivky young age try not to go out alone, especially at night, don't make eye contact with men or smile as this can be seen as flirting, don't get in a taxi alone without taking a photo of the drivers badge and sending it to a friend, if walking alone at night pretend to be talking on the phone, learn alternative routs home incase your being followed, carry a tape whistle but don't use it as no one wants to interfear with that so instead shout fire as people like to help with things like that, don't dress provocatively, don't drink to much etc etc etc I think it is worse than people realise, why els would women be taught to basically adjust there whole life and how they do things to reduce the risk to them, and when something does happen the police and cps are shocking and getting justice

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By *lamorousBeautyLondonWoman
over a year ago

London

The biggest problem is that it still is, just like it has been, for so many years and centuries, too many men. This is the biggest problem.

So first of all, inner attitudes need to be addressed - we need to address the rot within ourselves. The small, insignificant judgements we hold inside which morph into bigger ones collectively.

Second of all, we need to not accept it and stand up to it every single time within our circle of influence. It all adds up - just like harrassment and gradual intimidation is cummulative, so is resistance.

We need to resist and we need to do it every single time as far as it is safe. In 2018 I made a New Year's resolution to stand up to harrassment in public against me or another woman that I can see and identify every single time and it has made for an uncomfortable year because quite a few times it wasn't really safe but I did it anyway. I have since continued, just more conscious about my safety. I am only one person but I believe that it makes some small impact and imagine if ten of us or twenty of us resisted every time then we would be making a significant impact. This is how change happens but we do have to delve into our own absorbed toxic attitudes first and work from there.

Also, there are ways how to make people more accountable even in public. For example, contacting a construction company whose workers are harrassing and making a complaint. There are so many ways and not all of them super difficult but we have to perservere.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number."

I am picking up your post but I am really asking every body...

What do people think of things like being sent UNINVITED (I stress uninvited) ....

-sexually charged texts, pictures of genitalia, receive phone calls or worse, see a guy wank over them during a social media call?

Is this acceptable?

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number.

I am picking up your post but I am really asking every body...

What do people think of things like being sent UNINVITED (I stress uninvited) ....

-sexually charged texts, pictures of genitalia, receive phone calls or worse, see a guy wank over them during a social media call?

Is this acceptable? "

I asked that the other day.

I've read plenty of profiles where people say no unsolicited cock pics..but practically every person I've chatted too ,says they get swamped with them.

Maybe people think because it's a sex site..its acceptable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesnt help that women put themselves into situations they cant control by drinking themselves to oblivion,wearing next to nothing and wondering around deserted towns in the early hours of the morning.

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"It doesnt help that women put themselves into situations they cant control by drinking themselves to oblivion,wearing next to nothing and wondering around deserted towns in the early hours of the morning.

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1."

Jesus wept

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Some times you cant tell if people are serous ..or taking the piss.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number.

I am picking up your post but I am really asking every body...

What do people think of things like being sent UNINVITED (I stress uninvited) ....

-sexually charged texts, pictures of genitalia, receive phone calls or worse, see a guy wank over them during a social media call?

Is this acceptable?

I asked that the other day.

I've read plenty of profiles where people say no unsolicited cock pics..but practically every person I've chatted too ,says they get swamped with them.

Maybe people think because it's a sex site..its acceptable?"

And that's where conversation needs to happen. I don't think it's acceptable but in truth, got used to it and that's a huge part of why I don't read messages.

It isn't restricted to here alone, not by a long shot.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1.

Jesus wept "

Standard statement from the poster in question. Don't bite, that's what he wants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1."
I hope you are joking with that comment... Its not the responsibility of a woman to not get r***d it's the responsibility of the descusting human beings to not attack people... Maybe instead of women changing how they live to accommodate people who can't control their violent impulses we should just hold the animals accountable for there actions

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1."

What the hell!?!?! I could stand naked and nobody would have the right to put their hands on me.

I could wear anything and get heckled by someone for their own enjoyment.

Point missed completely.

People need to be responsible for their own actions.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number.

I am picking up your post but I am really asking every body...

What do people think of things like being sent UNINVITED (I stress uninvited) ....

-sexually charged texts, pictures of genitalia, receive phone calls or worse, see a guy wank over them during a social media call?

Is this acceptable?

I asked that the other day.

I've read plenty of profiles where people say no unsolicited cock pics..but practically every person I've chatted too ,says they get swamped with them.

Maybe people think because it's a sex site..its acceptable?

And that's where conversation needs to happen. I don't think it's acceptable but in truth, got used to it and that's a huge part of why I don't read messages.

It isn't restricted to here alone, not by a long shot.

Echo this - it is not just on here and I would imagine that most women feel a bit "violated" in want of a better word. I do not think it is acceptable and I agree with you that more conversations need to be had around this.

And this isn't about being prude, dramatic or oversensitive. It is about respectful boundaries towards another human being.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number.

I am picking up your post but I am really asking every body...

What do people think of things like being sent UNINVITED (I stress uninvited) ....

-sexually charged texts, pictures of genitalia, receive phone calls or worse, see a guy wank over them during a social media call?

Is this acceptable?

I asked that the other day.

I've read plenty of profiles where people say no unsolicited cock pics..but practically every person I've chatted too ,says they get swamped with them.

Maybe people think because it's a sex site..its acceptable?

And that's where conversation needs to happen. I don't think it's acceptable but in truth, got used to it and that's a huge part of why I don't read messages.

It isn't restricted to here alone, not by a long shot.

Nope

I'm on match aswell and it happens on there aswell apparently.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1."

I'm glad that most of humanity doesn't have the mindset that you do.

That you even think this way is disgusting and this is far from your first post of this kind.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1.

What the hell!?!?! I could stand naked and nobody would have the right to put their hands on me.

I could wear anything and get heckled by someone for their own enjoyment.

Point missed completely.

People need to be responsible for their own actions. "
Absolutely agree with you. Sadly reality is a bit different.

I do feel for men who were brought up with ideas that "posh women like it a bit rough" or "when she said no she really meant "yes". If you are brought up in a way that sees women as objects then you won't learn what is right and what is not. I do think it can be hard for men sometimes to know but in principle I agree. And, if in doubt whether something is ok or not... ask the person to whom you want to do it. And listen to her/ his answer.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1.

Jesus wept

Standard statement from the poster in question. Don't bite, that's what he wants."

Some people just crave attention

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1."

Like the poor woman who was murdered - she did everything that she had been advised to do, as the police acknowledge, but she was an innocent victim of a policeman.

As a man you have no idea!!!!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Since the lockdown I've been watching a lot of YouTube. What I've found truly sad is the amount of derogatory videos about women.

The shocking thing is these men have no qualms about posting their interactions. A woman was assaulted and bitten by a group of men because she declined his offer to pay for her drink. The men in the "manosphere" said they were wrong "but" she shouldn't have embarrassed him in front of his homies by turning him down!

This is the problem. The entitlement of some men, and their aggressive response if denied. Also, sadly the mentality of some women, you see it her too.

A man will post about BBWs not being beautiful, up their own arses etc and instead of being told no likey no lighty slender women join in and large women seek validation.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1."

I have heard this so many times, which does not make it true or justifiable.

It would mean turning the victim into the perpetrator - after all she "asked for it"

She didn't.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number.

I am picking up your post but I am really asking every body...

What do people think of things like being sent UNINVITED (I stress uninvited) ....

-sexually charged texts, pictures of genitalia, receive phone calls or worse, see a guy wank over them during a social media call?

Is this acceptable? "

Do you mean on here or as a result of initial communication from here or in normal life?

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1.

What the hell!?!?! I could stand naked and nobody would have the right to put their hands on me.

I could wear anything and get heckled by someone for their own enjoyment.

Point missed completely.

People need to be responsible for their own actions. Absolutely agree with you. Sadly reality is a bit different.

Tbh there is no excuse for any man who thinks.. she said no when she really meant yes.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

To answer the OP, I do think it's getting worse due to the Internet.

Females would only get flashed in public. There were no sending of photos to unsuspecting eyes.

Now it happens on almost every form of social media. Some have no idea or care of the age of the person they're sending pictures to, whether that person has consented to seeing those images or not, they just send them regardless.

Ultimately, what has become "normal" (sending of dick pics) is, when you think about it, "cyber flashing"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1.

What the hell!?!?! I could stand naked and nobody would have the right to put their hands on me.

I could wear anything and get heckled by someone for their own enjoyment.

Point missed completely.

People need to be responsible for their own actions. Absolutely agree with you. Sadly reality is a bit different.

Tbh there is no excuse for any man who thinks.. she said no when she really meant yes."
I agree completely but it still happens.

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

"As much as I may be a gobby little cunt, I have to be a fool not to admit.... I AM vulnerable around men.

I'm under 5ft, and even though I like to think I'd have a decent scrap, I'm physically very vulnerable.

I've had many experiences growing up and in recent years that have made me extremely uncomfortable. I've been assaulted on more than one occasion.

There's stuff that gets openly admitted on the forums too. Workmen saying they enjoy going through women's dirty laundry looking for knickers so they can have a sniff.

Gym goers admitting to leering over women whilst they're working out.

The list is endless

It would help if Fab started banning people based on these private messages and forum posts however I think the problem is they will open a new profile to do it all over again .

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number.

I am picking up your post but I am really asking every body...

What do people think of things like being sent UNINVITED (I stress uninvited) ....

-sexually charged texts, pictures of genitalia, receive phone calls or worse, see a guy wank over them during a social media call?

Is this acceptable?

Do you mean on here or as a result of initial communication from here or in normal life? "

I have made a statement in my profile that I do not like to be sent cock pics as most are a turn off for me - I know personal choice. I think there is a difference though when this happens outside Fabs (and the likes) - I do not want to receive a cock pic on my laptop or mobile for a host of reasons. to me it is a transgression if that makes sense? I understand some people feel different about it.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1.

What the hell!?!?! I could stand naked and nobody would have the right to put their hands on me.

I could wear anything and get heckled by someone for their own enjoyment.

Point missed completely.

People need to be responsible for their own actions. Absolutely agree with you. Sadly reality is a bit different.

Tbh there is no excuse for any man who thinks.. she said no when she really meant yes."

Or a woman who thinks a man saying no, means he is just playing hard to get and how would he not want me, it’s a sad ‘show’ to watch play out.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1.

What the hell!?!?! I could stand naked and nobody would have the right to put their hands on me.

I could wear anything and get heckled by someone for their own enjoyment.

Point missed completely.

People need to be responsible for their own actions. Absolutely agree with you. Sadly reality is a bit different.

Tbh there is no excuse for any man who thinks.. she said no when she really meant yes.

Or a woman who thinks a man saying no, means he is just playing hard to get and how would he not want me, it’s a sad ‘show’ to watch play out. "

Absolutely - it works both ways.

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By *lamorousBeautyLondonWoman
over a year ago

London

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1."

The real lesson here - and one you seem to badly need unless this is a terribly joke - is that women are not things or advertisement boards. We are humans, just like you. Would you say to a man that what he needs in order not to get attacked would be to wear more concealing clothes? I doubt that you would because it wouldn't make any sense. Or if man is stabbed, would he be questioned how much he had to drink and what he was wearing?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"As much as I may be a gobby little cunt, I have to be a fool not to admit.... I AM vulnerable around men.

I'm under 5ft, and even though I like to think I'd have a decent scrap, I'm physically very vulnerable.

I've had many experiences growing up and in recent years that have made me extremely uncomfortable. I've been assaulted on more than one occasion.

There's stuff that gets openly admitted on the forums too. Workmen saying they enjoy going through women's dirty laundry looking for knickers so they can have a sniff.

Gym goers admitting to leering over women whilst they're working out.

The list is endless

It would help if Fab started banning people based on these private messages and forum posts however I think the problem is they will open a new profile to do it all over again ."

And the problem is also, until now, it's never been properly spoken about on a mass scale the way it is now. We're just at the tip of the iceberg.

Hopefully once people understand the impact, what others have already been subjected to, they'll hopefully rethink their approach and actions. They'll take into account they've been part of the problem until now and want to become part of the solution.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

"I fear that you’re right, it feels like we won’t be happy until we are all segregated and broken "

Grew up in a segregated world, doesn't work

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1.

I suspect it was a get a reaction type of post.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number.

I am picking up your post but I am really asking every body...

What do people think of things like being sent UNINVITED (I stress uninvited) ....

-sexually charged texts, pictures of genitalia, receive phone calls or worse, see a guy wank over them during a social media call?

Is this acceptable?

Do you mean on here or as a result of initial communication from here or in normal life?

I’m the same. My profiles clear, I don’t even like cock avatars. However we both know most don’t read a word. I think this could be resolved easily by removing the photo option until multiple messages had been exchanged. I don’t see why there’s a need for it when profiles have friends only options.

I think the site isn’t clear on how it should be approached and used and those stumbling across it see hook ups and don’t think. There’s education missing here for sure.

I do also find it rather ironic that I often see posts from women moaning about cock pics when they have hundreds of graphic photos of themselves that they tirelessly promote and change. So I do think we all have a responsibility here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1.

I suspect it was a get a reaction type of post."

It always is, it’s boring. He does it just to wind people up.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"To answer the OP, I do think it's getting worse due to the Internet.

Females would only get flashed in public. There were no sending of photos to unsuspecting eyes.

Ultimately, what has become "normal" (sending of dick pics) is, when you think about it, "cyber flashing"

Exactly oh it's only a dick picture don't so prudish. No it's "cyber flashing". Just because it's thought of as acceptable by many doesn't mean it's right. It's time to acknowledge it for what it is, I'm a grown woman I can handle it, would I be able when I was younger no. Would I feel obliged to send a nude back possibly. So isn't it better to alter the story and ask for consent before sending such pictures?

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number.

I am picking up your post but I am really asking every body...

What do people think of things like being sent UNINVITED (I stress uninvited) ....

-sexually charged texts, pictures of genitalia, receive phone calls or worse, see a guy wank over them during a social media call?

Is this acceptable?

Do you mean on here or as a result of initial communication from here or in normal life?

I think the site isn’t clear on how it should be approached and used and those stumbling across it see hook ups and don’t think. There’s education missing here for sure.

I always find it a bit unnerving when you reply to someone who has a cock pick as an avatar.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number.

I am picking up your post but I am really asking every body...

What do people think of things like being sent UNINVITED (I stress uninvited) ....

-sexually charged texts, pictures of genitalia, receive phone calls or worse, see a guy wank over them during a social media call?

Is this acceptable?

Do you mean on here or as a result of initial communication from here or in normal life?

I think the site isn’t clear on how it should be approached and used and those stumbling across it see hook ups and don’t think. There’s education missing here for sure.

See for me, yes I expect to see graphic images when I'm navigating the site. That is the nature of the site, and I do like the freedom of expression or whatnot for peoples photo galleries.

My inbox. ... That's my private area of the site. To me "lock down your filters to prevent being sent things you don't want" is no fucking different to telling women not to go out after dark.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"To answer the OP, I do think it's getting worse due to the Internet.

Females would only get flashed in public. There were no sending of photos to unsuspecting eyes.

Ultimately, what has become "normal" (sending of dick pics) is, when you think about it, "cyber flashing"

*throws doves into the air*

100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1.

Well, yes on the second bit. When investigating such an assault, especially where there is no suspect in custody, all the surrounding circumstances may be relevant.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number.

I am picking up your post but I am really asking every body...

What do people think of things like being sent UNINVITED (I stress uninvited) ....

-sexually charged texts, pictures of genitalia, receive phone calls or worse, see a guy wank over them during a social media call?

Is this acceptable?

Do you mean on here or as a result of initial communication from here or in normal life?

I think the site isn’t clear on how it should be approached and used and those stumbling across it see hook ups and don’t think. There’s education missing here for sure.

See for me, yes I expect to see graphic images when I'm navigating the site. That is the nature of the site, and I do like the freedom of expression or whatnot for peoples photo galleries.

My inbox. ... That's my private area of the site. To me "lock down your filters to prevent being sent things you don't want" is no fucking different to telling women not to go out after dark."

Yeah I get that and totally agree. I think the nature of the site for message exchange for sex is flawed. Those that join en mass think it’s this is my sausage can we shag? The forum is a whole different ballgame. Those that join need to be informed what and how and it could all be stopped by removing the send photo. I don’t think the cock pics are malicious. It’s just the way most new guys clearly think so that’s what should be addressed by the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually do think it is getting worse.

And I think it has a lot to do with social media, I’ve watched women try to speak up about their experiences and then show screenshots of abuse they’ve received from men 5 minutes after.

As women we tend to put up with it because it happens so often it’s become normal.

Bearing in mind this wasn’t a one night stand, but he assumed it was. The blame was already put on me when he said the above.

Women have to deal with being blamed all the time, being asked what we were wearing, did we give out any signals that may have prompted the man to act a certain way etc.

This is what stops those who experience sexual assault/harassment and all the rest from reporting it, and then the perpetrators get away with it.

That’s dreadful and I am sorry you experienced that.

I believe now that is classed as r*pe because he did not have your consent. Of course proving it is problematic."

Yes it’s a strange one, it’s considered both sexual assault and r*pe, I did report it but after being treated like that by the police officer I left it, which in turn made me feel guilty because I wonder who else he may have done it to.

Police officers make it harder when they treat sexual assault victims like that. X

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

See for me, yes I expect to see graphic images when I'm navigating the site. That is the nature of the site, and I do like the freedom of expression or whatnot for peoples photo galleries.

My inbox. ... That's my private area of the site. To me "lock down your filters to prevent being sent things you don't want" is no fucking different to telling women not to go out after dark."

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1."

Wow what a way to blame women.

Can you tell me, what can children do better to not get sexually assaulted how does your “prevention is better than cure” like work on those?

When I got sexually assaulted at 16 I was sober and wearing a tracksuit & trainers and it was 5pm in the winter... so how does your “lesson” work here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1."

Okay so I've had just about all the abuses a woman can be handed bar FGM, Gang r**e & trafficked/forced sex work.

Spiked in a bar, I only had literally one drink a bottle of red square & left to go to the club. Unfortunately the Marble sinks met my head soon after when I collapsed in women's toilet.

Are you telling me when at college wrecked, practically comatosed on a bed, that it was my fault that a guy decided it was a good idea to stick his fingers in my mouth....which got bit and me called a psycho despite the obvious state of abuse and merely being self defense?

what about the partner I though I could trust and let him handcuff me to the bed only to dry unprepped anal r**e me? was that my fault too? i did scream never mind shout NO, the whole time.

what about the partner who thought it was acceptable to put his hand round my throat whilst pregnant?

or how about the one raised his game after I split from him to literally stalked, lots revenge porn and endangering my life?

the police have never helped me in reporting any of it, never protected me in anyway and all that have ever harmed have got away with it because of the systemic issues in blaming the women for what MEN do!

I DID NOT DO THESE THINGS TO MYSELF!!

will it stop me from living my life, FUCK NO! then they really win. I've give to my last.

as for how come boys who are raised solely/mainly by women also have these views, well womens rights are fairly recent, the men in those women's lives usually committed the abuses in comment and/or treatment and therefore the boys see it as acceptable/what's done because they see/know no other way.

women propitiate it by not believing one another and resorting to the exact same victim shaming as the men do (even if behind closed doors),

'oh but you know she likes to meet with different men don't ya?'

'yeah, but her skirt really need to be that short?'

'she should really learn to handle her drink'

shut up & put up is not the answer and nor is this sticking attitude!

footnote 99% of my mates are males, yet i'm very aware that even by them i am looked at on the sly, I'll watch what i wear around them especially if other females are there because then the abuse comes from them and allegations that just didn't happen, I'm aware of the mysogonitic jokes and ever thing they do & think is perfectly ok and yes I do open my mouth and correct them, I also know it all works both ways....very disppointed they get when I tell them being work up with a blowjob is r**e.

stay in, happens there, go out happens there to.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

Go look at (word beginning with r) crisis Wales and England website, before you keep making yourself look even more foolish than you are already. Only 1 in 10 sexual attacks are carried out by a stranger. So let's not try and be clever and controversial for fun. Go educate yourself

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By *nked_kittenWoman
over a year ago

Ankh Morpork

In the last few years some of those situations have come about because of fab meets. Because of the attitude of guys on here that see themselves as entitled for sex because I’ve spoken to them, because I’ve agreed to meet them for a social, because I choose who and when I sleep with someone.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

Not sure if serious.

Wearing a mini skirt doesnt mean you expect to be sexually assaulted.

Should woman walk round covered head to toe just to be on the safe side?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

We’re not saying it is, we’re saying it SHOULD be safe for women!

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1.

Okay so I've had just about all the abuses a woman can be handed bar FGM, Gang r**e & trafficked/forced sex work.

Spiked in a bar, I only had literally one drink a bottle of red square & left to go to the club. Unfortunately the Marble sinks met my head soon after when I collapsed in women's toilet.

what about the partner I though I could trust and let him handcuff me to the bed only to dry unprepped anal r**e me? was that my fault too? i did scream never mind shout NO, the whole time.

what about the partner who thought it was acceptable to put his hand round my throat whilst pregnant?

or how about the one raised his game after I split from him to literally stalked, lots revenge porn and endangering my life?

I DID NOT DO THESE THINGS TO MYSELF!!

will it stop me from living my life, FUCK NO! then they really win. I've give to my last.

women propitiate it by not believing one another and resorting to the exact same victim shaming as the men do (even if behind closed doors),

'oh but you know she likes to meet with different men don't ya?'

'yeah, but her skirt really need to be that short?'

'she should really learn to handle her drink'

shut up & put up is not the answer and nor is this sticking attitude!

stay in, happens there, go out happens there to. "

Jesus christ

That's horrific.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

How do you police children and “prevent” them from getting sexually assaulted?

And men?

I want to hear this...

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'll give an example of that sense of vulnerability.

Group of 3 females going to the shop walk past a group of 3 males.

The males make comments, perhaps whistle, and give the "oioi sexy" that we've all seen and heard. The females may respond, ignore, or even laugh it off among themselves.

Items purchased and now the females are heading home. 2 live one direction, 1 needs to walk back past the lads.

Can you see how that would make her now feel vulnerable and intimated?

How easily a bit of innocent fun can turn into something that's now not so fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prevention is always better than cure.

You cant educate men intent on violence but you can educate women in avoiding it.

There's lesson number 1."

Most ridiculous thing I ever did hear!

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

I'm presuming no woman has ever been attacked ,who has been dressed 'conservatively?

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

"I was also shocked to see women feel threatened, I was of the impression women were feeling more empowered and in charge over recent years. I am saddened that we have to hear such stupid comments as men having a curfew imopsed on them albeit from some looney but all the same for it to even be discussed is shocking. "

Really ? Women have been told to stay home in the past when a man has been attacking women

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

No. I'd try to persuade her that she's had too much too drink and should consider staying home.

Then. In the event that some cunt took advantage of her and sexually assaulted her. I'd stand by her and get her medical and police help.

The police help would be to deal with the predatory cunt that did wrong. Sexual assault is wrong. That's indisputable. Drinking too much is careless and usually results in learning about substance control ..... that is not wrong. Wearing clothes that don't cover her entire body is a choice not wrong.

What you are saying is that 'she asked for it' ......

So ... if I go to Tesco can I take all of the items I want for free because I could ? Is that stealing or is that Tesco's fault for putting it in front of my eyes.....

Some men like to pretend to be dick led as it excuses their piss poor behaviour , not to mention their machismo and ego.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I know these discussions are emotive.

Thing is, due to people speaking of their own personal experiences in detail, they keep getting pulled and the lesson isn't being heard.

The OPs question will soon have disappeared and he will be none the wiser.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I know you want to talk about your experiences and it's really hard not to bite when people are baiting you. But if we talk about things that are illegal the thread will be pulled.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I know you want to talk about your experiences and it's really hard not to bite when people are baiting you. But if we talk about things that are illegal the thread will be pulled. "

Jinx!

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

I remember many moons ago a fella getting off with r@@@, cos the judge said the girl was provocatively dressed.

Nice to see such prehistoric ideas have vanished.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

So let's say tomorrow I decide to move in to your front garden and everytime you leave your house I decide to punch you in your face and after a week of getting punched in the face you start to feel a bit shit about the situation, what happens next should I maybe get advised to move on and stop punching you in your face and face potential prosocution for my wrong doing or should we maybe just educate you that if only you didn't try to leave your house your wouldent get punched so maybe you should try harder to stay inside away from the risk of getting punched because technically by leaving your house knowing it will lead to you getting punched your kind of consenting to it happening so you shouldent blaim me when you keep making your face so available to punch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

that is just the worst of them.

there is a reason not on my pics are not public.

even with just that eye pic or even none at all I still get lude messages and cock pics on the daily despite my profile asking not to.

there isn't any place or area in my life where these things haven't or don't happen all the time other than when I'm entirely alone.

I only have responsibility for my own behavior and I don't go around behaving how I've been treated.

none the above were from fab btw, never had a threatening experience from here! only 1 of above post, the spiking was done by a stranger, all the others I knew. I've never been attacked on the street/public place beyond a grope or call so I have a bizarre sense of safety compared to most.

I've tried police vetting only shows if they've been convicted before which is highly unlikely given how difficult it is to prosecute any thing like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know you want to talk about your experiences and it's really hard not to bite when people are baiting you. But if we talk about things that are illegal the thread will be pulled. "

People also need to consider that some types of people will get off on the tales of abuse.

And some will pretend to be empathetic about such issues as a way to get the person to trust them.

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

In all honesty I think it is the exact same as it has always been for women in particular (LGBT also targets as seen as soft targets).

what is happening is more are talking about it instead of hiding in the shadows thinking it is their faults!

we are finally taking a stand and saying enough, you cannot blame a victim for the actions of the perpetrator! women are in one of the strongest positions they have ever been in politically in recent history.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

Nice try.but a poor analogy.

As I said,maybe its easier to educate women on their own safety than to educate a disturbed man going out looking for vulnerable women not in control.

But hey! Have it your way,if you feel a woman can go anywhere at anytime then you can rely your poor analogy to her.it makes no odds to me,I'm just off to Brixton wearing a KKK tshirt.in your scheme of things that's perfectly acceptable and if I get attacked that's their fault and not mine no?

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

Nice try.but a poor analogy.

As I said,maybe its easier to educate women on their own safety than to educate a disturbed man going out looking for vulnerable women not in control.

You criticise her for a poor analogy and then compare wearing a racist outfit to wearing a short skirt?

Poor effort.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

Nice try.but a poor analogy.

As I said,maybe its easier to educate women on their own safety than to educate a disturbed man going out looking for vulnerable women not in control.

So only 10% of attacks are by strangers. So what about the other 90%? Or does that not fit your narrative?

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

Nice try.but a poor analogy.

As I said,maybe its easier to educate women on their own safety than to educate a disturbed man going out looking for vulnerable women not in control.

I think your t shirt might be considered a racially motivated aggravating act and be illegal so let is know where you are going so we can report it .

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

Nice try.but a poor analogy.

As I said,maybe its easier to educate women on their own safety than to educate a disturbed man going out looking for vulnerable women not in control.

did you ask to be attacked....NO!

is that group a natural thing like a woman's body...erm no!

we were born this way, at no point in our life's have we asked to be attacked or abused in any way.

can't control yourself....I'll happily put you in a cell and throw away the key.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"As a race we are destructive, from time beginning to time end we seek to hurt others.

It won't change in my life time"

That’s true and where you see the true nature is in war and genocide , it always happens , nearly every single war since the start of time ,large scale abuse of women, due to male dominated gods, war/politics and capitalism. And that’s the cause of all inequality for the past 9000 or so years, until women are equal and share control no one else can be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

No. I'd try to persuade her that she's had too much too drink and should consider staying home.

Then. In the event that some cunt took advantage of her and sexually assaulted her. I'd stand by her and get her medical and police help.

What you are saying is that 'she asked for it' ......

So ... if I go to Tesco can I take all of the items I want for free because I could ? Is that stealing or is that Tesco's fault for putting it in front of my eyes.....

Some men like to pretend to be dick led as it excuses their piss poor behaviour , not to mention their machismo and ego.

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

Nice try.but a poor analogy.

As I said,maybe its easier to educate women on their own safety than to educate a disturbed man going out looking for vulnerable women not in control.

Still ignoring my question?

Interesting...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s safe to say some people will always blame the victim for various reasons, maybe for sinister reasons sometimes.

Some will be empathetic, some won’t care. This thread alone proves there needs to be more education and awareness.

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By *umslaveTV/TS
over a year ago

Sheffield

I love the fact that Boris has convened a meeting to discuss violence against women. The invitees? Five men and one woman!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was watching a documentary last night about the disappearance of Suzy Lamplugh...The prime suspect in her disappearance will be released in 3yrs time after serving 35yrs for another murder and he is suspected in two over murders of women...after watching the documentary you get the feeling that he will strike again on his release just like he did in the past after his release from prison sentences for attacking women.

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By *ocoa89Man
over a year ago

Camberwell

Statistically, we aren't getting worse.

We are become more aware of the spectrum of things that impact individuals in society. So we are becoming more conscious, which I think is actually the result of things getting better (brutal crimes overall being on the decrease).

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

oh it's okay they are now proposing laws to protect statues that would result in a higher jail term for statue damage than for a serious sexual assault on a woman!!

begger belief! please remind me how men rule the world exactly? [slaps head]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

Nice try.but a poor analogy.

As I said,maybe its easier to educate women on their own safety than to educate a disturbed man going out looking for vulnerable women not in control.

Absolutely comical hearing you call my analogy poor because you don't have a real come back for it and then use such a piss poor one yourself, do you truly believe that waring a dress or a skirt (normal every day clothing the equivalent of a man waring shorts and t-shirt) is in any way the same as off going out in racially charged clothing the sole purpose of which would be to cause upset and offence to people seeing it

. The point is we as women ARE educated on how to avoid violance, we are asked and told daily how to adjust our lives to reduce the risk of being asulted but why should we alter how we live, stop normal behaviours to try to accomidate the fact we live amongst monsters, we don't want to be told don't go there, don't ware that because why should we just the same as you wouldemt want to be told don't leave your house if you don't want to get punched we don't want to hear don't ware a skirt if you don't want tk be r***d... Its mens attitudes that need to change not woman's clothes

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By *ocoa89Man
over a year ago

Camberwell

"I actually do think it is getting worse.

And I think it has a lot to do with social media, I’ve watched women try to speak up about their experiences and then show screenshots of abuse they’ve received from men 5 minutes after.

As women we tend to put up with it because it happens so often it’s become normal.

Bearing in mind this wasn’t a one night stand, but he assumed it was. The blame was already put on me when he said the above.

Women have to deal with being blamed all the time, being asked what we were wearing, did we give out any signals that may have prompted the man to act a certain way etc.

This is what stops those who experience sexual assault/harassment and all the rest from reporting it, and then the perpetrators get away with it. "

How horrible, sorry to hear that.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"oh it's okay they are now proposing laws to protect statues that would result in a higher jail term for statue damage than for a serious sexual assault on a woman!!

begger belief! please remind me how men rule the world exactly? [slaps head]"

Under the new legislation you can get a heavier sentence for defacing a statue than the starting point for a r@@@ sentence.

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By *ocoa89Man
over a year ago

Camberwell

Some of the victim blaming comments are wild. I've worked with rehabilitating offenders and aiding victims.

I do find these devils advocate scenerio's, lazy and trashy. It's not hypotheticals, this is very much every day occurrences.

We don't need hypotheticals, there is plenty of research and data.

Even if you opt not to listen to women's voices (which I'd take issue with), you can find numerous peer reviewed papers on the matter spanning decades.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Some of the victim blaming comments are wild. I've worked with rehabilitating offenders and aiding victims.

I do find these devils advocate scenerio's, lazy and trashy. It's not hypotheticals, this is very much every day occurrences.

We don't need hypotheticals, there is plenty of research and data.

Even if you opt not to listen to women's voices (which I'd take issue with), you can find numerous peer reviewed papers on the matter spanning decades. "

Some of the victim blaming comments are by known trolls who get off on it. They're best left in the wilderness, not responded to.

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By *ocoa89Man
over a year ago

Camberwell

"Some of the victim blaming comments are wild. I've worked with rehabilitating offenders and aiding victims.

I do find these devils advocate scenerio's, lazy and trashy. It's not hypotheticals, this is very much every day occurrences.

We don't need hypotheticals, there is plenty of research and data.

Even if you opt not to listen to women's voices (which I'd take issue with), you can find numerous peer reviewed papers on the matter spanning decades.

Some of the victim blaming comments are by known trolls who get off on it. They're best left in the wilderness, not responded to. "

Appreciate that insight, relatively new to the fab world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the victim blaming comments are wild. I've worked with rehabilitating offenders and aiding victims.

I do find these devils advocate scenerio's, lazy and trashy. It's not hypotheticals, this is very much every day occurrences.

We don't need hypotheticals, there is plenty of research and data.

Even if you opt not to listen to women's voices (which I'd take issue with), you can find numerous peer reviewed papers on the matter spanning decades.

Some of the victim blaming comments are by known trolls who get off on it. They're best left in the wilderness, not responded to. "

Good to know, thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After reading what has been wrote on here,one would say their is a lot to take in and am still a little confused as to the high number of women that have been mistreated by a man in some way! Obviously physically or violently being attack is straightforward but are ladies saying how a man looks or what he says counts too ?

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By *1011Woman
over a year ago

Barnsley

R**e myth number 1 right there. Statistically women are r***d by someone they know in what they deem to be a safe place so your assumption that being out d*unk, wearing certain items of clothing etc is completely irrelevant.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Sexual harassment is a form of unlawful discrimination under the Equality Act 2010. The law says it’s sexual harassment if the behaviour is either meant to, or has the effect of:

violating your dignity, or

creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment.

So yes words can count as harassment. Imagine having a stranger whisper in your ear in a club exactly what he's going to follow you home and what he's going to do to you once you leave the club.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Kneejerk reaction from those who think the world is a utopia of goodwill to all.

So your hammered 18year old daughter comes home at 1am.

Shes wearing a tiny mini and a boobtube.shes ringing for a taxi and wants to go to an area in another city alone to meet "someone"

Looking at most of the answers on here,none of you would stop her as 'it's her right' to wear what she wants and go wherever,whenever.

So you have a choice.

Either try to dissuade her or have that chat tomorrow in the hospital after shes been sexually assaulted saying "she did nothing wrong and it was her right".

Nice try.but a poor analogy.

As I said,maybe its easier to educate women on their own safety than to educate a disturbed man going out looking for vulnerable women not in control.

That would be you going dressed to incite an angry reaction though.

If you went out in a muscle top and tight running shorts would you be asking to be attacked?

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"After reading what has been wrote on here,one would say their is a lot to take in and am still a little confused as to the high number of women that have been mistreated by a man in some way! Obviously physically or violently being attack is straightforward but are ladies saying how a man looks or what he says counts too ? "

I’m not sure what you mean by “how a man looks” - whether you mean his appearance or how he looks at women - so I can’t answer that part.

But what he says? Definitely. Most sexual harassment is probably verbal. Catcalling is sexual harassment, so are comments like the ones my ex-boss made about ejaculating on me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count?

I’m not sure what you mean by “how a man looks” - whether you mean his appearance or how he looks at women - so I can’t answer that part.

But what he says? Definitely. Most sexual harassment is probably verbal. Catcalling is sexual harassment, so are comments like the ones my ex-boss made about ejaculating on me."

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count? "

If you actually need telling why that’s not acceptable, you have a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count?

If you actually need telling why that’s not acceptable, you have a problem."
I think you’ve misinterpreted what am saying ! I know it’s not acceptable to say such things, what am trying to understand is are woman classing this as some sort of attack which would then explain the high numbers !

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count?

If you actually need telling why that’s not acceptable, you have a problem. I think you’ve misinterpreted what am saying ! I know it’s not acceptable to say such things, what am trying to understand is are woman classing this as some sort of attack which would then explain the high numbers ! "

If someone shouted slag or whore at your sister or mother in the street, what would you describe that as?! Politely passing the time of day or verbal assault with sexualised language?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count?

Yes of course its is an attack. Its verbally abusing someone.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count?

I, personally wouldn't include verbal only,but many women would. That doesn't devalue how they felt, though. And as to the "high numbers", many, including me, have been violated on way more than one occasion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count?

I think the majority of women will say that they have had verbal comments made to them by men they dont know that have made them feel uncomfortable so that adds to the fear and feelings of being unsafe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the solution I can not wrap my head around how men treat you ladies without some sort of self defense. It's mind boggling for me. Everyone screams men are misoginists. But yet nothing to counter a threat if it escalates. I feel for you all it pisses me off.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Yes, I agree LornaJo. I was just saying that it never affected ME that way - guys shouting or catcalling in the street. It was never anything more insidious. Not compared to the violations of guys grabbing me, or on one occasion, not taking no for an answer. Xx

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"What's the solution I can not wrap my head around how men treat you ladies without some sort of self defense. It's mind boggling for me. Everyone screams men are misoginists. But yet nothing to counter a threat if it escalates. I feel for you all it pisses me off."

I do not think men are misogynists. I think some of them need to treat ALL women as they would expect their wife/mother/daughter to be treated. That's all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm genuinely interested - is there any commonality between the men who do these things? Are they usually dru*nk? Or are they not very intelligent-seeming men? Not originally British or always been British? Labourers or business guys?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count?

Yes of course its is an attack. Its verbally abusing someone."

Is there *anyone* who hasn't been verbally abused walking down the street?

I'd say most of the men that I know have been physically attacked too.

I don't think it's right to make comparisons or get into point scoring. The experience for women may well be quite different. When looking at statistics and talking about women exclusively as the victims you need to be mindful about what you're including.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count?

If someone shouted slag or whore at your sister or mother in the street, what would you describe that as?! Politely passing the time of day or verbal assault with sexualised language? "
Definitely and this probably explains the high numbers am hearing about ! Think I read yesterday saying 97% of woman had had some form of abuse

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By *eparrain1Man
over a year ago

Stone

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count?

If someone shouted slag or whore at your sister or mother in the street, what would you describe that as?! Politely passing the time of day or verbal assault with sexualised language? Definitely and this probably explains the high numbers am hearing about ! Think I read yesterday saying 97% of woman had had some form of abuse "

Yes you are correct.. that is a scary statistics

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I'm genuinely interested - is there any commonality between the men who do these things? Are they usually dru*nk? Or are they not very intelligent-seeming men? Not originally British or always been British? Labourers or business guys? "

No commonality from what I've seen. The stereotype is cat calling from building sites, but anywhere where men think they can score man points or something seems to be it. I've seen business men in suits out after work behave just as badly as the university rugby club on a night out or a bunch of builders ogling from some scaffolding. I'm fortunate that verbal crap is pretty much all I've encountered really, bar the odd "accidental" grope in clubs (but sharp elbows or sharp heels sort that out quickly).

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

In my experience, they've been both d*unken idiots and professional business guys; both British and foreign. Apart from the catcalls in the street, which are just idiots, the more serious incidents were followed by profuse apologies when I called them out, with the excuse that they "read the signals wrong".

That's the worrying thing, I fear.

One was an older man, the other was younger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are from different countries. Different views. You are all special fight for equality at all costs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count?

If someone shouted slag or whore at your sister or mother in the street, what would you describe that as?! Politely passing the time of day or verbal assault with sexualised language? Definitely and this probably explains the high numbers am hearing about ! Think I read yesterday saying 97% of woman had had some form of abuse

Yes you are correct.. that is a scary statistics "
The point being when you actually look at that percentage it can’t be true ! And unfortunately just like social media now days FB news and facts get distorted ! I’ve been called names by a lady before ! Does that make me a victim ? I think what happened is terrible but some of the stuff I’ve read and heard on here the last few days is unbelievable and truly shocking.

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

all of the above, that's the issue....there is no way for a woman to tell by any of that, you know since this guy is a cop, many are in positions of power, many are supposed to be our partners, some are the incel driven, some are the religious driven.

there is no one size fits all it's why the narrative needs changed.

we are not sluts, whores, bitches, ice queens, sirens, black widows or what ever gaud awful names that blokes grow up call us,

we are not property that you can do as you please with when ever you will,

we are not sex objects nor sex toys, we are not here to serve.

we are women and we are humans.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

If someone verbally attacks you and you feel under threat, then yes, you are a victim of verbal abuse. The issue under discussion is that verbal abuse of a insidious and often highly sexualised nature is so common, that almost all women, of all ages (including school girls) have been victims. Sexualised verbal abuse quite rightly makes the victim think "what could this person do next?" and so the fear is further heightened. Will it just be some sort of comment about my boobs or will they grope? Will they just shout out "what they want to do to me (note the word TO) or will they actually have a go at doing "it" TO me?

Can you see the issue?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not for me there isn’t.

It’s been from all kinds, the only thing they all have in common is that they’re men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not for me there isn’t.

It’s been from all kinds, the only thing they all have in common is that they’re men. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not for me there isn’t.

It’s been from all kinds, the only thing they all have in common is that they’re men.

Of course if it is all men, or even the vast majority of men, then it must be a consequence of being a man, and therefore men can't be to blame as we did not choose to be men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not for me there isn’t.

It’s been from all kinds, the only thing they all have in common is that they’re men.

Of course if it is all men, or even the vast majority of men, then it must be a consequence of being a man, and therefore men can't be to blame as we did not choose to be men."

Who said it was all men?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not for me there isn’t.

It’s been from all kinds, the only thing they all have in common is that they’re men.

Of course if it is all men, or even the vast majority of men, then it must be a consequence of being a man, and therefore men can't be to blame as we did not choose to be men."

Nobody has said it is all men!

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

What sort of self defence would you use if a man makes inappropriate comments?

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count?

I’m not sure what you mean by “how a man looks” - whether you mean his appearance or how he looks at women - so I can’t answer that part.

But what he says? Definitely. Most sexual harassment is probably verbal. Catcalling is sexual harassment, so are comments like the ones my ex-boss made about ejaculating on me."

The slag bit!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"It’s made me think about my behaviour and how I can mitigate how I act when out and about to appear less threatening. Looking like Rory McCann looking out the darkness is enough for anybody.

That's a great outcome.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count?

If someone shouted slag or whore at your sister or mother in the street, what would you describe that as?! Politely passing the time of day or verbal assault with sexualised language? Definitely and this probably explains the high numbers am hearing about ! Think I read yesterday saying 97% of woman had had some form of abuse

Yes you are correct.. that is a scary statistics The point being when you actually look at that percentage it can’t be true ! And unfortunately just like social media now days FB news and facts get distorted ! I’ve been called names by a lady before ! Does that make me a victim ? I think what happened is terrible but some of the stuff I’ve read and heard on here the last few days is unbelievable and truly shocking. "

Why can't it be true? Why don't you go ask you female relatives and friends, if they have been harassed. Get it from the horse's mouth so to speak.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Ok just say I called a lady a slag or a whore would that count?

If someone shouted slag or whore at your sister or mother in the street, what would you describe that as?! Politely passing the time of day or verbal assault with sexualised language? Definitely and this probably explains the high numbers am hearing about ! Think I read yesterday saying 97% of woman had had some form of abuse

Shocking in what way?

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Wow. You make a lot of extremely nasty insinuations there. And I’m sorry to disappoint you, but all of the worst incidents I’ve experienced have been white, British men. Most of whom have been highly educated professionals who would be deemed intelligent by most measures. Usually completely sober.

The commonality is usually the type of man a woman is mostly surrounded by. I’ve always worked in professional circles, therefore most of the harassment and assaults have been by professionals.

And let me tell you something about d*unk men (or d*unk people generally). Alcohol doesn’t change someone’s personality or turn them into a monster. Alcohol simply removes their inhibitions and lets them act the way they deep down wish they always could. So if a man assaults women when he’s d*unk, that is because of his own nature, not the alcohol.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

The point being when you actually look at that percentage it can’t be true ! And unfortunately just like social media now days FB news and facts get distorted ! "

So who do you think is lying? The body that carried out the research, or the women who responded?

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

The point being when you actually look at that percentage it can’t be true ! And unfortunately just like social media now days FB news and facts get distorted !

So who do you think is lying? The body that carried out the research, or the women who responded?"

To put that 97% into context is more appropriate than saying it’s true / not true.

It is based on data from a YouGov survey of 1,089 women, commissioned by UN Women Uk in January 2021. The 97% relates to the 18-24 age group replying that they had experienced some type of sexual harassment. The total survey respondents indicated, that 71% of those women had experienced some type of harassment in their life time, from cat calling, being stared at and to the extreme of physically being attacked.

Full report available to read at UN Women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The point being when you actually look at that percentage it can’t be true ! And unfortunately just like social media now days FB news and facts get distorted !

So who do you think is lying? The body that carried out the research, or the women who responded?"
I think information sometimes gets distorted to suit an agenda ! Wouldn’t be the first time in history

And just so you know am all for women feeling safe am just not to keen on the lynch mob behaviour I see

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

The point being when you actually look at that percentage it can’t be true ! And unfortunately just like social media now days FB news and facts get distorted !

So who do you think is lying? The body that carried out the research, or the women who responded? I think information sometimes gets distorted to suit an agenda ! Wouldn’t be the first time in history

And just so you know am all for women feeling safe am just not to keen on the lynch mob behaviour I see "

What agenda?

I've seen no lynch mobs truth be told.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The point being when you actually look at that percentage it can’t be true ! And unfortunately just like social media now days FB news and facts get distorted !

So who do you think is lying? The body that carried out the research, or the women who responded?

To put that 97% into context is more appropriate than saying it’s true / not true.

Full report available to read at UN Women.

I hope the ladies in question weren’t on a club 18-30 holiday

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

The point being when you actually look at that percentage it can’t be true ! And unfortunately just like social media now days FB news and facts get distorted !

So who do you think is lying? The body that carried out the research, or the women who responded?

To put that 97% into context is more appropriate than saying it’s true / not true.

Full report available to read at UN Women.

Thanks, I googled it quickly but didn’t have time to go into it in detail. I think there have been similar ones before as I’ve seen similar things in the past suggesting that the numbers are higher amongst younger women. I suspect that’s more because younger women are more likely to call it what it is, rather than that they’re oversensitive or making it up.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I hope the ladies in question weren’t on a club 18-30 holiday

And what if they were? Does being on a holiday like that mean it’s ok for them to be assaulted or harassed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s scary how easily and quickly people can expose themselves with their comments when it comes to sexual assault & abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number.

I am picking up your post but I am really asking every body...

What do people think of things like being sent UNINVITED (I stress uninvited) ....

-sexually charged texts, pictures of genitalia, receive phone calls or worse, see a guy wank over them during a social media call?

Is this acceptable?

Do you mean on here or as a result of initial communication from here or in normal life?

I think the site isn’t clear on how it should be approached and used and those stumbling across it see hook ups and don’t think. There’s education missing here for sure.

the only difference between public pics snd getting then in the inbox for me is if i want to see public pics i go looking for them (with the exception of a small avatar obviously) - if i don’t want to look at pictures i wont to looking at galleries

when its in the inbox, that choice has been removed from you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The commonality is usually the type of man a woman is mostly surrounded by. I’ve always worked in professional circles, therefore most of the harassment and assaults have been by professionals.

Do you think that there any female victims who would give inaccurate information to police because they fear groundless counter accusations against them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"May I ask is it really as bad as people are saying. You would think all men are the devil reading what’s been said the last few days ?

From reading the forums the last few days ,it seems pretty widespread.

Its obviously not all men,but a significant number.

I am picking up your post but I am really asking every body...

What do people think of things like being sent UNINVITED (I stress uninvited) ....

-sexually charged texts, pictures of genitalia, receive phone calls or worse, see a guy wank over them during a social media call?

Is this acceptable?

Do you mean on here or as a result of initial communication from here or in normal life?

I think the site isn’t clear on how it should be approached and used and those stumbling across it see hook ups and don’t think. There’s education missing here for sure.

See for me, yes I expect to see graphic images when I'm navigating the site. That is the nature of the site, and I do like the freedom of expression or whatnot for peoples photo galleries.

My inbox. ... That's my private area of the site. To me "lock down your filters to prevent being sent things you don't want" is no fucking different to telling women not to go out after dark.

while i don’t think you are wrong , by saying “its just the way new guys think” gives them an out and says to women its going to happen regardless so best just to ignore

the point of these discussions is we need to change “just how they think” , be that about dick pics, verbal or physical harassment

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

The commonality is usually the type of man a woman is mostly surrounded by. I’ve always worked in professional circles, therefore most of the harassment and assaults have been by professionals.

Do you think that there any female victims who would give inaccurate information to police because they fear groundless counter accusations against them?"

Would you like to elaborate on what you mean by “inaccurate information”?

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

when its in the inbox, that choice has been removed from you "

Precisely - I would like to have that CHOICE as to what lands in my inbox (btw not just cock pictures but also the cut n paste scenarios of what somebody wants to do to do me). Incidentally on here, and because I do not have a choice of banning pics, I always look at a profile before I decide open a message as the profile already tells me whether it is worth opening the message.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"It’s scary how easily and quickly people can expose themselves with their comments when it comes to sexual assault & abuse.

^^^This. It's a good filter though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The commonality is usually the type of man a woman is mostly surrounded by. I’ve always worked in professional circles, therefore most of the harassment and assaults have been by professionals.

Do you think that there any female victims who would give inaccurate information to police because they fear groundless counter accusations against them?

Would you like to elaborate on what you mean by “inaccurate information”?"

No, I can see where you're trying to head and I'm not really interested in playing your game. Best of luck with everything

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

The commonality is usually the type of man a woman is mostly surrounded by. I’ve always worked in professional circles, therefore most of the harassment and assaults have been by professionals.

Do you think that there any female victims who would give inaccurate information to police because they fear groundless counter accusations against them?

Would you like to elaborate on what you mean by “inaccurate information”?

No, I can see where you're trying to head and I'm not really interested in playing your game. Best of luck with everything

As if we can’t all see where you’re trying to head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen woman act just as badly as men. In fact when they get found out to be just as violent they pull the 'he made me do it' and the ' I'm a woman and should always be believed' card out.

Just like Tracie Andrew. And that other woman who was dumping guys bodies in rivers.

Nobody in this world is perfect. All sexes can and do kill.

If any women feels she is in any danger or fear of men then she shouldn't be on the internet looking for meets with strangers. You can't have your cake and eat it. Stay at home and stick to slagging us off on Facebook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen woman act just as badly as men. In fact when they get found out to be just as violent they pull the 'he made me do it' and the ' I'm a woman and should always be believed' card out.

Just like Tracie Andrew. And that other woman who was dumping guys bodies in rivers.

Nobody in this world is perfect. All sexes can and do kill.

Wow!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think am starting to learn more by reading all these comments and how woman feel about this ! I guess it’s really hard for a guy with no worries in the world to get to grips with. Literally 15 minutes ago I was walking to the shop reading the news on my phone and saw a lady walking the other way and she crossed the road ! It did actually make me feel quite sad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think am starting to learn more by reading all these comments and how woman feel about this ! I guess it’s really hard for a guy with no worries in the world to get to grips with. Literally 15 minutes ago I was walking to the shop reading the news on my phone and saw a lady walking the other way and she crossed the road ! It did actually make me feel quite sad "

I currently cross the road or walk in the road to keep social distance due to covid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The commonality is usually the type of man a woman is mostly surrounded by. I’ve always worked in professional circles, therefore most of the harassment and assaults have been by professionals.

Do you think that there any female victims who would give inaccurate information to police because they fear groundless counter accusations against them?

Would you like to elaborate on what you mean by “inaccurate information”?

No, I can see where you're trying to head and I'm not really interested in playing your game. Best of luck with everything

As if we can’t all see where you’re trying to head

Perhaps you should check my profile before making pointless assumptions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody has said it is all men!"

The phrase I keep seeing is "not all men", which for practical purposes means the same thing but does it in a dishonest way.

The unstated claim here is "it *is* most men". If you want to make that argument, fine, make it.

If you're not saying that, and you think it is a minority of men then that needs to be made clear because of lot of people do seem to be suggesting it's most men and that's a very different argument. One which starts down a path to that uncomfortable conclusion I made (and don't personally agree with).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen woman act just as badly as men. In fact when they get found out to be just as violent they pull the 'he made me do it' and the ' I'm a woman and should always be believed' card out.

Just like Tracie Andrew. And that other woman who was dumping guys bodies in rivers.

Nobody in this world is perfect. All sexes can and do kill.

How many times have you seen women act as badly as men?

I mean, I know some women are terrible, but I really don’t believe men are getting assaulted at the scale women are.

I’m sorry but to blame women for being on the internet “meeting” strangers and claim she shouldn’t be if she’s scared is exactly why so many people don’t report sexual assault and brush it off, because rather than address the problem you blame the innocent party.

If I keep getting robbed every-time I walk outside my house, should I just stay in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing needs to be made any clearer than it already is because most decent men understand when we speak of the bad guys we are not talking about “all men”.

Only men who feel they have done wrong or are now questioning how they are with women are the ones who feel that they are also being targeted. You need to look at yourself.

We all have men in our lives, I’ve spoken about this with my brothers, my dad when he was alive and my cousins and not one of them have ever taken this defensive approach, because they know they’re not the type of man I’m talking about.

If you’re not that type of man, you wouldn’t get defensive, pretty simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody has said it is all men!

The phrase I keep seeing is "not all men", which for practical purposes means the same thing but does it in a dishonest way.

The unstated claim here is "it *is* most men". If you want to make that argument, fine, make it.

the problem is we actually do mean most men

now granted we don’t mean most men are attackers, but we do mean most men consciously or subconsciously intimidate us in certain scenarios, most men have at least some level of misogyny (so do many many women because its such a huge factor of society) , most men are not doing enough to call out their mates that take it too far, most men are possibly not even sure where the line between banter and harassment lies, most men are not getting involved with the conversation in a positive way because they either don’t want to engage at all or only want to chime in with #notallmen

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