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"Are you a Goldfish? " The Clown fish can change sex... | |||
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"Is it mine ? " I told you to finish on my tummy! What a mess. | |||
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"Are you a Goldfish? " I hope so. I won’t remember this in ten minutes then. | |||
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"Is it mine ? I told you to finish on my tummy! What a mess." You loved it | |||
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"I'll stick a finger in. I'm generous like that." I hope you’ve got well filed nails. I’m very sensitised right now. | |||
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"Are you a Goldfish? The Clown fish can change sex... " Only Transexual ones though | |||
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"Congratulations " Thank you wonky. I’d of preferred celebrations though. | |||
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"I'll stick a finger in. I'm generous like that. I hope you’ve got well filed nails. I’m very sensitised right now." I'll be gentle with you | |||
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"I think its twins.. " Ok but please be gentle, I’ve never had two digits in there before. | |||
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"Are you a Goldfish? The Clown fish can change sex... " I can’t juggle. | |||
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"I think its twix's.. Ok but please be gentle, I’ve never had two digits in there before." That's what happens when you're greedy | |||
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"Is it a food baby? " No. It’s a real baby. I’m thinking about calling it pasta. If I roll on my right side during labour then I could have pasta baby on the left hand side. | |||
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"I've got some sounding rods I can check with if you want? " That doesn’t sound good for the baby. | |||
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"Is it mine ? I told you to finish on my tummy! What a mess. You loved it " I know how Madonna felt when she sang pappa don’t preach now. | |||
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"I think its twins.. Ok but please be gentle, I’ve never had two digits in there before." Then how did you get pregnant no use lying now | |||
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"Is it mine ? I told you to finish on my tummy! What a mess. You loved it I know how Madonna felt when she sang pappa don’t preach now." Shouldn’t that be “papa its breach” | |||
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"Is it mine ? I told you to finish on my tummy! What a mess. You loved it I know how Madonna felt when she sang pappa don’t preach now. Shouldn’t that be “papa its breach” " Touché | |||
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"Totes emosh " He needs a birthing partner. | |||
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"Oh hang on..... Where are you dilating " How the fuck am I supposed to know!!!! I can’t even see my feet anymore and the whole of my lower body has been taken over by this alien growing in me. Now get me some monster munch. | |||
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"Are you a Goldfish? The Clown fish can change sex... Only Transexual ones though " Get that clock away from me. I don’t wanna see any more clocks ever again. | |||
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"I'll stick a finger in. I'm generous like that. I hope you’ve got well filed nails. I’m very sensitised right now. I'll be gentle with you " It’s that kind of talk that got me into this mess. | |||
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"Look, I've told you before Sam, if you don't use protection you'll end up getting pregnant. That's what happens when you're a fertile young man. So irresponsible. " The femedon split, it wasn’t my fault, she said she’d done this before. | |||
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"Congratulations " I want my baby shower. You didn’t throw me a baby shower. | |||
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"Has your water broken yet? Do we need a sharp object?" I can neither confirm or deny this. No sharp objects but if you could just dab my forehead with a damp flannel | |||
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"Who's gonna tell H you've been having an affair with Mr Hankey? Poor woman." Please tell me that’s not a South Park reference | |||
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"Who's gonna tell H you've been having an affair with Mr Hankey? Poor woman. Please tell me that’s not a South Park reference " What other potential poo fathers named Mr Hankey can you think of? | |||
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"Who's gonna tell H you've been having an affair with Mr Hankey? Poor woman. Please tell me that’s not a South Park reference What other potential poo fathers named Mr Hankey can you think of? " So he’s not just for Christmas?!? | |||
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"Ew" Didn’t I see you on mum’s net ? Yes, you were selling that lilac maternity dress. | |||
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"Who's gonna tell H you've been having an affair with Mr Hankey? Poor woman. Please tell me that’s not a South Park reference What other potential poo fathers named Mr Hankey can you think of? So he’s not just for Christmas?!? " Mindy the Mothers Day Turd surely? It's gonna be a girl | |||
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"I think its twins.. Ok but please be gentle, I’ve never had two digits in there before. Then how did you get pregnant no use lying now " I don’t really know. One minute we were discussing the best way to make a papier mache’ dog and the next I was naked, sweating and craving a cigarette. | |||
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"Is it mine ? I told you to finish on my tummy! What a mess. You loved it I know how Madonna felt when she sang pappa don’t preach now. Shouldn’t that be “papa its breach” " You’re witty. Wanna have a baby with me? | |||
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"Totes emosh He needs a birthing partner. " Someone to hold my hand and tell me it’s gonna be ok, I can do it, don’t look down. | |||
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"Is it mine ? I told you to finish on my tummy! What a mess. You loved it I know how Madonna felt when she sang pappa don’t preach now. Shouldn’t that be “papa its breach” You’re witty. Wanna have a baby with me?" Yeah, we could sing “papa don’t preach” while it’s popping out ya pooper | |||
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"Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl? " It’s gonna be a surprise. | |||
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"Who's gonna tell H you've been having an affair with Mr Hankey? Poor woman." The miserable darts player that throws plastic bats into the crowd for his walk on? That’s a lie! I don’t even like bats. | |||
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"Will you need plunging " Plunge me with your clunge. | |||
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"Who's gonna tell H you've been having an affair with Mr Hankey? Poor woman. Please tell me that’s not a South Park reference What other potential poo fathers named Mr Hankey can you think of? " Well, ... no, you have a point there. | |||
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"Run yourself a nice hot bath " Good plan. Just leave yours in and I’ll add a bit of hot water later. Thanks Belle. | |||
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"Hang on. Does this mean you had a penis up your arse?? " So far up my arse it very nearly popped out my belly button. | |||
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"Hang on. Does this mean you had a penis up your arse?? So far up my arse it very nearly popped out my belly button." Feels better going up than coming down doesn't it. | |||
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"You lot are all, mad as a bag of ferrets" Sorry pal, I missed your comment somehow. Anyways... I hope you’re enjoying my pregnancy. We should share knitting patterns sometime. | |||
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"Hang on. Does this mean you had a penis up your arse?? So far up my arse it very nearly popped out my belly button. Feels better going up than coming down doesn't it." You’re thinking of the log flume. It’s that nervous feeling just before you reach the summit. | |||
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"Waterbirth?" That was about gridiron. I’m a rugby union boy. | |||
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"I think its twins.. Ok but please be gentle, I’ve never had two digits in there before. Then how did you get pregnant no use lying now I don’t really know. One minute we were discussing the best way to make a papier mache’ dog and the next I was naked, sweating and craving a cigarette." So the important question is.... did you decide on the best way to make a paper mache dog - asking for a friend | |||
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"I think its twins.. Ok but please be gentle, I’ve never had two digits in there before. Then how did you get pregnant no use lying now I don’t really know. One minute we were discussing the best way to make a papier mache’ dog and the next I was naked, sweating and craving a cigarette. So the important question is.... did you decide on the best way to make a paper mache dog - asking for a friend " Patience and Self raising flower. | |||
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"You lot are all, mad as a bag of ferrets Sorry pal, I missed your comment somehow. Anyways... I hope you’re enjoying my pregnancy. We should share knitting patterns sometime." I have a lovely one for a Christmas Teddy. Perfect for little Sammy Junior. | |||
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"Hang on. Does this mean you had a penis up your arse?? So far up my arse it very nearly popped out my belly button. Feels better going up than coming down doesn't it. You’re thinking of the log flume. It’s that nervous feeling just before you reach the summit. " I'm proud of you for having a natural home birth with no painkillers Sam. | |||
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"You should have done star jumps after, I hear that helps" Squatting on an exercise ball helps. | |||
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"How's the new arrival Sam ? " Doing well thank you. It certainly made a splash on its entrance to the world. | |||
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