FabSwingers.com forum: Where could it be?

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

Tonight I have a craving for a very garlicky, chorizo laden chicken and rice concoction (I know, I know it's not a paella).

I can't find the bleedin' chorizo though, where could it be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tonight I have a craving for a very garlicky, chorizo laden chicken and rice concoction (I know, I know it's not a paella).

I can't find the bleedin' chorizo though, where could it be? "

Where have you been looking? Waitrose always has it.

Sound delicious, can I get a just eat?

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Back in Surrey, Dahlings!

I tried a “vegan chorizo” recipe my friends had been raving about.

I shouldn’t have.

It has scarred me for life.

It should be hiding in a takeaway tub in my fridge somewhere...

As for your -proper, I hope!- chorizo, hopefully it is sitting at the back of the fridge? Hopefully not frozen!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really like chorizo, chicken and rice in a tomato sauce ... I hope you find the chorizo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is an in-joke with someone who has either stunk it up his jacksy, or their (or your) front bottom, isn’t it?

Where could it be?!?

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By *ittleteaseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

I'm just having spicy chorizo with beansprouts but don't know where your is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nora's anus probably, I know she loves a good sausage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is an in-joke with someone who has either stunk it up his jacksy, or their (or your) front bottom, isn’t it?

Where could it be?!? "

Stunk!? That’s an apt autocarrot!!

*stuck

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Ours is in the bottom of the fridge! It doesn't last long in this house. Small Child A likes it chopped up for a snack.... She is also a massive fan of chicken and chorizo paella

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You have been using it for erm "alternative" purposes have you? Was is already sliced or still sausage shaped?

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Tonight I have a craving for a very garlicky, chorizo laden chicken and rice concoction (I know, I know it's not a paella).

I can't find the bleedin' chorizo though, where could it be?

Where have you been looking? Waitrose always has it.

Sound delicious, can I get a just eat?"

I could go to Waitrose but it requires me wearing a bra... that's a lot of effort.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I tried a “vegan chorizo” recipe my friends had been raving about.

I shouldn’t have.

It has scarred me for life.

It should be hiding in a takeaway tub in my fridge somewhere...

As for your -proper, I hope!- chorizo, hopefully it is sitting at the back of the fridge? Hopefully not frozen! "

It is the proper chorizo stuff, I shelled out a proper penny for it. And now I can't find it behind all the spinach and feta and creme fraiche (that sounds better than smoothies and chocolates).

Vegan chorizo, and I'm sorry to those vegans I like, sounds absolutely disgusting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm. What a pickle. Is it behind that?

In order to categorise your search, you should organise the three shelves in the pantry into sections (for this purpose, we'll call them classes).

I assume the lower one is functional so we'll call that the working class.

Have you tried the upper and middle ones? Maybe it's fallen from the top one and is stuck between the upper and middle.

Judged by the list of items in your pantry, I'd say it could easily be in the upper-middle class.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Chorizo slices or a sausage? You need to find it or it will go off

I bet you ate it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tonight I have a craving for a very garlicky, chorizo laden chicken and rice concoction (I know, I know it's not a paella).

I can't find the bleedin' chorizo though, where could it be?

Where have you been looking? Waitrose always has it.

Sound delicious, can I get a just eat?

I could go to Waitrose but it requires me wearing a bra... that's a lot of effort. "

They do a click and collect where they deliver to your car

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tonight I have a craving for a very garlicky, chorizo laden chicken and rice concoction (I know, I know it's not a paella).

I can't find the bleedin' chorizo though, where could it be? "

Could you be any more middle class.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Back in Surrey, Dahlings!

"I tried a “vegan chorizo” recipe my friends had been raving about.

I shouldn’t have.

It has scarred me for life.

It should be hiding in a takeaway tub in my fridge somewhere...

As for your -proper, I hope!- chorizo, hopefully it is sitting at the back of the fridge? Hopefully not frozen!

It is the proper chorizo stuff, I shelled out a proper penny for it. And now I can't find it behind all the spinach and feta and creme fraiche (that sounds better than smoothies and chocolates).

Vegan chorizo, and I'm sorry to those vegans I like, sounds absolutely disgusting."

It was!! haha

Spinach and feta.. spanakopita.... mmm...

Better get on with my run. Bon appetit!

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Back in Surrey, Dahlings!

Or “Buen provecho”!

(I am really putting off this run!)

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"This is an in-joke with someone who has either stunk it up his jacksy, or their (or your) front bottom, isn’t it?

Where could it be?!? "

No it's not, I really wish I had chorizo and someone stuck it up their "jacket for me" now though. As it is I have neither chorizo or a man filled with it.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Nora's anus probably, I know she loves a good sausage "

If it's up there it's lost for good.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"You have been using it for erm "alternative" purposes have you? Was is already sliced or still sausage shaped?

Sliced? What is this monstrosity? Sliced chorizo? For cooking?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where oh where did that choriz-go?

I'll see myself out

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Hmmm. What a pickle. Is it behind that?

In order to categorise your search, you should organise the three shelves in the pantry into sections (for this purpose, we'll call them classes).

I assume the lower one is functional so we'll call that the working class.

Have you tried the upper and middle ones? Maybe it's fallen from the top one and is stuck between the upper and middle.

Judged by the list of items in your pantry, I'd say it could easily be in the upper-middle class. "

This is the sort of easy to follow logic the forum needs. I knew I could count on your classifying credentials.

I shall scout the upper middle class and see if I can find my much needed chorizo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've taken it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've taken it"

Sideways

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"Tonight I have a craving for a very garlicky, chorizo laden chicken and rice concoction (I know, I know it's not a paella).

I can't find the bleedin' chorizo though, where could it be? "

I bought some yesterday in M&S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tonight I have a craving for a very garlicky, chorizo laden chicken and rice concoction (I know, I know it's not a paella).

I can't find the bleedin' chorizo though, where could it be? "

I have some in my fridge, bought it an hour ago, gonna make cheese and chorizo twist

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I've taken it

Sideways

Tart.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Did the chorizo make it home from the shops?

Have you checked the car, in case it rolled out?

If you go to Waitrose to get some more you will definitely find the one you already have.

Enjoy.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

You ate it already?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you checked your sock?

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Did the chorizo make it home from the shops?

Have you checked the car, in case it rolled out?

If you go to Waitrose to get some more you will definitely find the one you already have.

Enjoy.

I've checked the car and I've found my collection of Costa coffee cups. Now I'm a slob who doesn't own chorizo. Clearly not as middle class as I thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you asked the butler to check down the back of the chaise longue in the library?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Did the chorizo make it home from the shops?

Have you checked the car, in case it rolled out?

If you go to Waitrose to get some more you will definitely find the one you already have.

Enjoy.

I've checked the car and I've found my collection of Costa coffee cups. Now I'm a slob who doesn't own chorizo. Clearly not as middle class as I thought.

Call the collection an art installation and middle class credentials restored.

Have you got some Nduja in a jar you could use as a substitute flavour?

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

Check the bottom of the fridge. If not I could pop round with a sausage for you! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s plan B?

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Oh gosh Meli! Have you left it up there?

That will be a very meaty foof

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By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Stockport

There's a lovely looking recipe for Caldo Verde in the guardian today. That doesn't help you but hey chorizo x

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"What’s plan B?"

Well I've found umami paste and as inspired by Lickety some 'Nduja paste. It won't quite be the same but I guess I'll cope.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Oh gosh Meli! Have you left it up there?

That will be a very meaty foof

It might be up there, I'll brush aside the cobwebs and give it a quick check.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"There's a lovely looking recipe for Caldo Verde in the guardian today. That doesn't help you but hey chorizo x"

Caldo Verde! My favourite

Good chourizo is mandatory.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"There's a lovely looking recipe for Caldo Verde in the guardian today. That doesn't help you but hey chorizo x

Caldo Verde! My favourite

Good chourizo is mandatory."

And a soft, Portuguese bread roll to dip in it as the icing on the cake.

Fuck...i'm hungry now!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

What have you cooked since you bought it? Could it have been used already but forgotten it got used already?

I piss myself off when I do that.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"There's a lovely looking recipe for Caldo Verde in the guardian today. That doesn't help you but hey chorizo x

Caldo Verde! My favourite

Good chourizo is mandatory.

And a soft, Portuguese bread roll to dip in it as the icing on the cake.

Fuck...i'm hungry now!

Another thing I can't make. Chillout, you're not helping!

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By *an hjCouple
over a year ago

Stowmarket

"Tonight I have a craving for a very garlicky, chorizo laden chicken and rice concoction (I know, I know it's not a paella).

I can't find the bleedin' chorizo though, where could it be? "
it will be in the last place you look, so try to look there first

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"There's a lovely looking recipe for Caldo Verde in the guardian today. That doesn't help you but hey chorizo x

Caldo Verde! My favourite

Good chourizo is mandatory.

And a soft, Portuguese bread roll to dip in it as the icing on the cake.

Fuck...i'm hungry now!

Another thing I can't make. Chillout, you're not helping!

I'm buying a Portuguese Chorizo next week and may attempt this actually! Been a long time. Can't forget the bread rolls too

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"There's a lovely looking recipe for Caldo Verde in the guardian today. That doesn't help you but hey chorizo x

Caldo Verde! My favourite

Good chourizo is mandatory.

And a soft, Portuguese bread roll to dip in it as the icing on the cake.

Fuck...i'm hungry now!

Another thing I can't make. Chillout, you're not helping!

I'm buying a Portuguese Chorizo next week and may attempt this actually! Been a long time. Can't forget the bread rolls too

Meli- you want me to kidney punch him?

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Check the bottom of the fridge. If not I could pop round with a sausage for you! X

Ha! That's an offer I've not had in a long time - make sure it's chorizo please!

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"There's a lovely looking recipe for Caldo Verde in the guardian today. That doesn't help you but hey chorizo x

Caldo Verde! My favourite

Good chourizo is mandatory.

And a soft, Portuguese bread roll to dip in it as the icing on the cake.

Fuck...i'm hungry now!

Another thing I can't make. Chillout, you're not helping!

I'm buying a Portuguese Chorizo next week and may attempt this actually! Been a long time. Can't forget the bread rolls too

Meli- you want me to kidney punch him? "

So tempting but I know what a good wistful reminisce about epic food is like so leave the dad dancer be.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"There's a lovely looking recipe for Caldo Verde in the guardian today. That doesn't help you but hey chorizo x

Caldo Verde! My favourite

Good chourizo is mandatory.

And a soft, Portuguese bread roll to dip in it as the icing on the cake.

Fuck...i'm hungry now!

Another thing I can't make. Chillout, you're not helping!

I'm buying a Portuguese Chorizo next week and may attempt this actually! Been a long time. Can't forget the bread rolls too

Meli- you want me to kidney punch him?

So tempting but I know what a good wistful reminisce about epic food is like so leave the dad dancer be."

Okaaaaaaaaaay

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"There's a lovely looking recipe for Caldo Verde in the guardian today. That doesn't help you but hey chorizo x

Caldo Verde! My favourite

Good chourizo is mandatory.

And a soft, Portuguese bread roll to dip in it as the icing on the cake.

Fuck...i'm hungry now!

Another thing I can't make. Chillout, you're not helping!

I'm buying a Portuguese Chorizo next week and may attempt this actually! Been a long time. Can't forget the bread rolls too

Meli- you want me to kidney punch him?

So tempting but I know what a good wistful reminisce about epic food is like so leave the dad dancer be."

Aww thanks. I'll send a picture of the finished product

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

"Oh gosh Meli! Have you left it up there?

That will be a very meaty foof

It might be up there, I'll brush aside the cobwebs and give it a quick check."

Im with you with the cobwebs

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"What have you cooked since you bought it? Could it have been used already but forgotten it got used already?

I piss myself off when I do that. "

Hmmm. No; I've definitely not used it and the other half is very much a meat and two veg sort so wouldn't have touched it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They normally have it next to the fridge with different ones or in tescos in the aisle with all the olives and thins like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you looked in your freezer _eli?

That’s the sort of thing my absentminded self does sometimes xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meli... lost sausage... my first thoughts are have you looked in your vag?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What’s plan B?

Well I've found umami paste and as inspired by Lickety some 'Nduja paste. It won't quite be the same but I guess I'll cope."

Sounds good to me. I’ll bring wine

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Have you looked in your freezer _eli?

That’s the sort of thing my absentminded self does sometimes xx"

I checked my freezer, no luck sadly, Henriette.

If I send you a crying audio you know the lack of chorizo has got to me.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"What’s plan B?

Well I've found umami paste and as inspired by Lickety some 'Nduja paste. It won't quite be the same but I guess I'll cope."

You are the first person to take my recipe advice.

When you buy another Chorizo and then find the other one, please let me know.

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By *oreno0969Man
over a year ago

Rugby

Meli, I may know where it is let me ask a certain lady I am sure she may have taken it

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Meli, I may know where it is let me ask a certain lady I am sure she may have taken it

Please may you ask her

a) for my chorizo back

and

b) tell her I need her chaotic, basic bitch energy back in my life.

Thank you Moreno.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Meli... lost sausage... my first thoughts are have you looked in your vag?"

Cobwebbed over Sam.

Cob. Webbed. Over.

So much so that if I try and do the pull my pants down Saturday an avalanche of cobwebs will come tumbling out. Sorry my beautiful friend.

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By *oreno0969Man
over a year ago

Rugby

"Meli, I may know where it is let me ask a certain lady I am sure she may have taken it

Please may you ask her

a) for my chorizo back

and

b) tell her I need her chaotic, basic bitch energy back in my life.

Thank you Moreno.

For you Meli consider it done and please call me Martyn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you found it yet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tonight I have a craving for a very garlicky, chorizo laden chicken and rice concoction (I know, I know it's not a paella).

I can't find the bleedin' chorizo though, where could it be? "
oops ! I think I used it to make my chicken and chorizo risotto.

Sorry x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

Welli Meli ....

I think it went in your left ear n came out of the right .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meli... lost sausage... my first thoughts are have you looked in your vag?

Cockwebbed over Sam.

Cock. Webbed. Over.

So much so that if I try and do the pull my pants down Saturday an avalanche of cockwebs will come tumbling out. Sorry my beautiful friend."

I’ve never heard it called that before.

Reckon it has a lovely aroma when it comes tumbling out...

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Have you found it yet? "

No I didn't find it. I didn't even get some rubbish french wine as promised by Citizen.

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