FabSwingers.com forum: Women feeling safe...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So there's been quite a lot on the news this morning about how a large majority of women have said they don't feel safe walking alone in the street at night.

I was thinking about this and on the whole i do, I actually prefer to go out for a walk or to shop later in the evening as it's quieter.

Over the years quite a few friends have said they wouldn't do it unless absolutely necessary.

So a question for the woman, do you feel safe walking alone at night and if not what would make you feel safer?

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I do but only because I can handle myself if trouble shows, growing up on a rough estate provides certain street smarts

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Where I live, yes. Most other areas, no. Keys in hand, high alert sort of thing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I do but only because I can handle myself if trouble shows, growing up on a rough estate provides certain street smarts

Yes I agree with this.

When I'm at home in Southampton I feel fairly safe however when I've been in London at Ash's I don't feel as safe but I think that's more to do with not knowing the area and usually there's more people about.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I think it depends a lot on where you live...I will happily walk alone at night where I live, but where my nan lives in East London? Not a chance in hell.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it depends a lot on where you live...I will happily walk alone at night where I live, but where my nan lives in East London? Not a chance in hell. "

As I've just said above it's exactly that for me.

I've been thinking about that and I wonder if statistically I am any less safe or whether it's just the perception.

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By *elethWoman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I'm confident walking at night alone generally, though as others have said knowing the area helps, as does its reputation.

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Yes mostly where I live. I do sometimes feel a bit vulnerable when I go out running on my own as it's very quiet country roads where I go and sometimes there is no-one about.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I must say I've always avoided walking on the streets at night on my own. I learned to drive at 18 and chose to drive to friend's houses, parties etc and didn't drink if others were. I preferred that. I sometimes am out in my wheelchair after dark on my own but rarely. Generally only in busy places. I've never felt under threat (not even the time a d*unk guy seized my wheelchair and started to push me into the road - I was with JoelDorian and he stepped in

)

My son was mugged at knifepoint (machete-point?) in August 2020 at about 22:30, so it was dark. It was in a supermarket car park just after it had closed. So, it's not a gender specific thing. I worry massively about my son being out at night and he's 18 now...

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

Even as a bloke who can look after himself I don't feel safe walking alone at night so I can only imagine it's a lot worse for women. I was badly beaten by a pack of teenagers when waiting for a taxi on my own years ago at the end of a night out and I know of another lad who was sadly killed in similar circumstances so it can happen to any of us. Everyone should always be vigilant male and female as there are sadly an awful lot of people out there with dubious intentions towards others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a panic alarm since a certain incident. You pull it and it makes a horrible noise alarming people around. Never had to use it. Well, yet. I have been always brave, could even say reckless! I feel mostly safe despite of some history, as I was always able to get out or risky situation. Which is silly.. as there might be one time when my chit chat and thinking on my feet won't work.

I recall hitchhiking years ago and the driver started masturbating himself in front of me. After the lecture I have given him, he took a detour to drop me closer to where I needed to be (not exact location for safety) and was full of apologies.

I think I can mostly handle myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to get locked out at night as a child. I'd have no choice but to walk around in the dark. I took to having my Walkman on and used to find it peaceful, no one around and I felt safer than I did at home. So I'm not bothered by walking around alone at night as I was used to it when I was young. I was more unsafe at home.

I think some places would make me feel uneasy now but Id also have a phone in me which I didn't gave as a child.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Even as a bloke who can look after himself I don't feel safe walking alone at night so I can only imagine it's a lot worse for women. I was badly beaten by a pack of teenagers when waiting for a taxi on my own years ago at the end of a night out and I know of another lad who was sadly killed in similar circumstances so it can happen to any of us. Everyone should always be vigilant male and female as there are sadly an awful lot of people out there with dubious intentions towards others."

Statistically men, particularly young men, are most at risk of violence, but the fear is mostly instilled into women.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

It does not bother me. Bad things can happen day and night. I walk with my dogs in very quiet places qs i refuse to live my life in fear.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I used to get locked out at night as a child. I'd have no choice but to walk around in the dark. I took to having my Walkman on and used to find it peaceful, no one around and I felt safer than I did at home. So I'm not bothered by walking around alone at night as I was used to it when I was young. I was more unsafe at home.

I think some places would make me feel uneasy now but Id also have a phone in me which I didn't gave as a child.

The phone is a massive reassurance. Even if - and I've done this - it's just a text "I'm at the corner of X Street and Y Road in Exampletown. Text me in 20 minutes and if you don't hear from me within ten minutes of that, call the police"

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Yes and no would be my honest answer. The park I walk in has had several day time attacks this last week. So I'm currently more cautious than I was.

I've been shot at with an air gun by a bunch of boys in a car walking back from work years ago. So I guess I would say life is unpredictable. And that if I like it or not if someone really wanted to do me harm they could. Me alone versus a gang of men or women is never going to end well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some places would make me feel uneasy now but Id also have a phone in me which I didn't gave as a child.

Exactly and there's also Apps where you can just shake the phone and it sets off an alarm etc.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"It does not bother me. Bad things can happen day and night. I walk with my dogs in very quiet places qs i refuse to live my life in fear."

On saying this i have stopped walking with my earplugs in listening to music as i want to hear if someone is behind me and i will not wear a scarf as do not want it pulled tight round my neck if attacked.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Being a wheelchair user now, even though I know I'm incredibly strong and could handle myself IF I could stand up and not fall over, I've recognised that I AM now more vulnerable (hate saying it) so I'm even more careful than I was before. I've always always been in the habit of not walking in the dark on my own. Perhaps bizarre??

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

Statistically men, particularly young men, are most at risk of violence, but the fear is mostly instilled into women."

Indeed, as a young lad you sometimes only have to glance at another lad or bloke wrong in a nightclub or outside afterwards for them to flip and launch into a savage attack over it. And mixed gangs of teenagers are the worst if you're a lad walking home on your own, desperate to prove how "hard" they are in front of their mates and the screeching girls who encourage it further. Generally it is safe but you've always got to have your guard up just in case.

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By *elethWoman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Statistically men, particularly young men, are most at risk of violence, but the fear is mostly instilled into women."

I was thinking just this, that isn't it men who suffer more violence on the street? I don't know whether to feel outraged that it's women who are told they shouldn't go out at night because of the danger. I'm leaning towards I am.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Statistically men, particularly young men, are most at risk of violence, but the fear is mostly instilled into women.

I'm too tired. There's just so much to deal with to be outraged by everything

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Statistically men, particularly young men, are most at risk of violence, but the fear is mostly instilled into women.

I absolutely agree with this.

I remember a headline a couple of years ago a about a judge I think or a senior police officer saying that women shouldn't wear heasphones when walking alone as it makes them more vulnerable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's wise that everyone is on alert status when they go out at night, particularly women

I live in an OK area, but feel much better when the dog has his bedtime walk, if there are two of us

If I take him out on my own at night, I stick to the main road and populated streets as opposed to taking him on the field or into the woods

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it's wise that everyone is on alert status when they go out at night, particularly women

I live in an OK area, but feel much better when the dog has his bedtime walk, if there are two of us

If I take him out on my own at night, I stick to the main road and populated streets as opposed to taking him on the field or into the woods "

Can I ask why you think women Particularly should be alert?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Statistically men, particularly young men, are most at risk of violence, but the fear is mostly instilled into women."

Yep, good way of keeping women in their place.

I refuse to be afraid of going out alone/at night whatever.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

As a runner I'm constantly told that I shouldn't go running after dark or in secluded places. No one tells my best friend that. He's male, why should they?

I'm confident I can out run or out talk anyone looking to harm me. I grew up on a rough estate, and spent a few years working various doors in the same rough area. I perhaps need to acknowledge that I am some 20 years older though.

I think it's shit that women are taught fear, when working in a male prison I've seen so many lives devastated by young male violence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's wise that everyone is on alert status when they go out at night, particularly women

I live in an OK area, but feel much better when the dog has his bedtime walk, if there are two of us

If I take him out on my own at night, I stick to the main road and populated streets as opposed to taking him on the field or into the woods

Can I ask why you think women Particularly should be alert?

From a being randomly attacked and found dead perspective, I think they're more at risk than a bloke

I have no evidence for that, that's just what I think (from what we see)

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I feel safer walking the streets of London, always people about no matter the time of day or night, obviously not right now) than I do at my parents locations in the countryside, as there it is too deathly quiet, dark and too many bushes / trees for individuals to skulk in.

Have your wits about you, pay attention to those around you and don’t look just in front of you, look 300 yards in front of you, gives you time to adjust your path

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I don’t feel safe walking alone anywhere, night or day. I’m not even really sure why to be fair. It’s just a feeling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For the most part, I'd say I feel safe if I'm out on my own.

There are certain routes I won't take if it's dark though

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think it's wise that everyone is on alert status when they go out at night, particularly women

I live in an OK area, but feel much better when the dog has his bedtime walk, if there are two of us

If I take him out on my own at night, I stick to the main road and populated streets as opposed to taking him on the field or into the woods

Can I ask why you think women Particularly should be alert?

From a being randomly attacked and found dead perspective, I think they're more at risk than a bloke

I have no evidence for that, that's just what I think (from what we see)

I believe that beyond childhood, risk of violence disproportionately affects men.

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman
over a year ago

Colchester

This.

To imply that women who don’t feel safe alone at night simply don’t have 'street smarts', or martial arts training, is at best glib and at worst deeply offensive.

I was assaulted by a group of teens whilst out running, several years back. I can’t imagine that 'street smarts' would have been useful in this situation. For reference, I live in a tiny, semi rural market town.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

This.

To imply that women who don’t feel safe alone at night simply don’t have 'street smarts', or martial arts training, is at best glib and at worst deeply offensive.

Blame the attackers. End

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's wise that everyone is on alert status when they go out at night, particularly women

I live in an OK area, but feel much better when the dog has his bedtime walk, if there are two of us

If I take him out on my own at night, I stick to the main road and populated streets as opposed to taking him on the field or into the woods

Can I ask why you think women Particularly should be alert?

From a being randomly attacked and found dead perspective, I think they're more at risk than a bloke

I have no evidence for that, that's just what I think (from what we see)

I believe that beyond childhood, risk of violence disproportionately affects men."

Yeah I saw that on the other thread

Thanks

I'd best start looking for a lady to accompany me on late night walks

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think it's wise that everyone is on alert status when they go out at night, particularly women

I live in an OK area, but feel much better when the dog has his bedtime walk, if there are two of us

If I take him out on my own at night, I stick to the main road and populated streets as opposed to taking him on the field or into the woods

Can I ask why you think women Particularly should be alert?

From a being randomly attacked and found dead perspective, I think they're more at risk than a bloke

I have no evidence for that, that's just what I think (from what we see)

I believe that beyond childhood, risk of violence disproportionately affects men.

Yeah I saw that on the other thread

Thanks

I'd best start looking for a lady to accompany me on late night walks

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By *nked_kittenWoman
over a year ago

Ankh Morpork

I go where I need to as i won’t stop living my life because I’m on my own however sometimes I do get nervous and I’ve also had issues and been frightened.

One of those times was actually something that I bet a lot of guys on here have done.

I was walking home from the train station and saw a guy up ahead on his phone. He was just standing there in the shadows blocking the path. I debated turning round but that would have meant walking back and adding another 20 minutes to me getting home and having to walk through the deserted town centre.

The problem wasn’t that he was on his phone, or that he was on the path, it was because he had his cock out and was wanking and I had to walk past him.

I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve got my keys out, or turned off my music. Anyone can go past 1000 people in the course of their lives but if just 1 of those is a dangerous person then you don’t worry about the other 999.

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By *lamorousBeautyLondonWoman
over a year ago

London

I feel reasonably safe where I live and in London generally. Ironically, someone tried to mug me just outside my previous house and I was pretty shaken but it was helpful that the police arrived as soon as I called them and drove me around to see if I could identify the attacker. I think I might put him off by screeching like a banshee and as soon as he saw that there was no cash in my handbag he dropped it and ran.

In general I won't allow anyone to intimidate me easily and will make it known loudly that it is not OK but sometimes also have to walk very fast and move away swiftly if the person looks out of control.

What is already helpful is that even late at night there will some people around and cars going by.

What would help even more would be if random strangers would stop making comments about my appearance and/or speak to me from a car when I am walking past and it is dark

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, as someone above said, about growing up somewhere rough, teaches you to handle yourself.

I am rarely out late though because I am a single mum.

And I sm not naive enough to think that if someone had a serious intent, I would be safe. But I can't and wont live in fear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not where I live. I live in a very small town where people are pretty nosey and incidents of violence are rare. I also have self defence training and a lot of internal aggression.

Generally if I'm out at night though, I am with my dogs, who are reactive towards strangers so I am never particularly afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope not a chance. Would only feel safer if someone was with me.

Her x

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By *konCouple
over a year ago

cardiff

It’s totally situational . Most of the time I feel totally at ease . Other times I feel totally scared witless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not where I live. I live in a very small town where people are pretty nosey and incidents of violence are rare. I also have self defence training and a lot of internal aggression "

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I do but only because I can handle myself if trouble shows, growing up on a rough estate provides certain street smarts

this! well almost, but very similar

still I don't always feel safe, however, I have had an full blown nasty ass stalker/terroriser...that cops did nowt about...cos they couldn't prove it for any one of the hundreds of things he did (literally hundreds).

strangers I rarely fear because I also know most are known to us (family/partners etc) & those who have hurt me I knew (thought I knew).

actually makes it worse as it puts fear in relationships themselves.

I remember the wolf whistles and constant groping in clubs etc when younger, most resulted in a swift slap for the insult.

I'm very sensitive to touch so i'm not a fan of folk touching me in general (sex is different, brings a whole new game into it)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try living in South Africa ladies, a bloody nightmare there! Honestly, since I’ve been holidaying here in the uk since 2004, I have seen a huge change here...not in a good way. Ladies, do take care out there. Xxx

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By *il sub princessWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

I only walk at night if necessary however when I was younger I didn't have a care in the world. I would ofter walk miles home from friends at silly hours. We can't live in fear, just be aware & sensible x

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I find myself on edge at times yes. Grab my bag a little tighter as I'm passing someone "just in case". Adrenaline starts to build and being able to breathe out once you're past them is a big ole relief. I do keep checking behind me to to make sure they're still going the opposite direction and hadn't tried to trick me into feeling safe then grabbing me from behind.

Sometimes I finish work after the buses have stopped running and it's a 3 mile walk home with hardly any traffic on the roads, dark streets with nit enough lighting, a train station underpass and a fair amount of hidey holes.

I think I've just become more aware of my vulnerabilities. Yes I'd give a decent scrap going down, but ultimately I'd struggle big time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only walk at night if necessary however when I was younger I didn't have a care in the world. I would ofter walk miles home from friends at silly hours. We can't live in fear, just be aware & sensible x"

Yep same here, when I was younger too.

Her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d like them to explain why they arrested a police officer in connection with Sarah’s disappearance?!

I’d certainly be more aware of my surroundings and being approached by strangers but if it turns out someone she knew or thought wasn't a threat actually harmed her, where does that leave us?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I don't feel safe walking alone and avoid it wherever possible, I've had bad experiences in the past so I know it can be dangerous.

Having my husband/ a friend etc helps me to feel safe. And if that can't happen, being on the phone or at least pretending to, keeping to well lit areas etc helps.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"I’d like them to explain why they arrested a police officer in connection with Sarah’s disappearance?!

I’d certainly be more aware of my surroundings and being approached by strangers but if it turns out someone she knew or thought wasn't a threat actually harmed her, where does that leave us? "

Whether true or not is still to be determined, but they were suggesting earlier he used his warrant card to foster a sense of trust.

There is little you can do to protect yourselves, when the protectors are the ones instigating harm. People in positions of trust and authority are still just people ultimately.

I have no suggestions other than the ones I tell my wife, situational awareness, don't make yourself a target and I’d rather she got a cab than walk home, but even cabs are not always a safe bet.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I’d like them to explain why they arrested a police officer in connection with Sarah’s disappearance?!

I’d certainly be more aware of my surroundings and being approached by strangers but if it turns out someone she knew or thought wasn't a threat actually harmed her, where does that leave us? "

They arrested a police officer because presumably there is evidence linking him to the disappearance. That's about all we can say. People in positions of trust go rogue, it happens, I'm sure they do go through thorough vetting, but vetting only shows what has gone before and it's possible to lie on things like personality tests...

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

" I have no suggestions other than the ones I tell my wife, situational awareness, don't make yourself a target and I’d rather she got a cab than walk home, but even cabs are not always a safe bet.

The amount of people I have seen released from prison and go back to working for Uber, Ubereats and Deliveroo is utter madness.

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire

"So there's been quite a lot on the news this morning about how a large majority of women have said they don't feel safe walking alone in the street at night.

I was thinking about this and on the whole i do, I actually prefer to go out for a walk or to shop later in the evening as it's quieter.

Over the years quite a few friends have said they wouldn't do it unless absolutely necessary.

So a question for the woman, do you feel safe walking alone at night and if not what would make you feel safer?"

I often go out for a walk with the dog on a night n never felt scared ... but now this thread makes me feel anxious

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So there's been quite a lot on the news this morning about how a large majority of women have said they don't feel safe walking alone in the street at night.

I was thinking about this and on the whole i do, I actually prefer to go out for a walk or to shop later in the evening as it's quieter.

Over the years quite a few friends have said they wouldn't do it unless absolutely necessary.

So a question for the woman, do you feel safe walking alone at night and if not what would make you feel safer?

I often go out for a walk with the dog on a night n never felt scared ... but now this thread makes me feel anxious

Oh im sorry lovely, that wasn't the aim.

It was just have having a conversation and how safe people felt. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" I have no suggestions other than the ones I tell my wife, situational awareness, don't make yourself a target and I’d rather she got a cab than walk home, but even cabs are not always a safe bet.

The amount of people I have seen released from prison and go back to working for Uber, Ubereats and Deliveroo is utter madness."

I Don't understand that as you need a DBS check to work for Uber.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’d like them to explain why they arrested a police officer in connection with Sarah’s disappearance?!

I’d certainly be more aware of my surroundings and being approached by strangers but if it turns out someone she knew or thought wasn't a threat actually harmed her, where does that leave us?

Whether true or not is still to be determined, but they were suggesting earlier he used his warrant card to foster a sense of trust.

There is little you can do to protect yourselves, when the protectors are the ones instigating harm. People in positions of trust and authority are still just people ultimately.

I have no suggestions other than the ones I tell my wife, situational awareness, don't make yourself a target and I’d rather she got a cab than walk home, but even cabs are not always a safe bet.

Sorry how does a woman make herself a target?

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"I’d like them to explain why they arrested a police officer in connection with Sarah’s disappearance?!

I’d certainly be more aware of my surroundings and being approached by strangers but if it turns out someone she knew or thought wasn't a threat actually harmed her, where does that leave us?

Whether true or not is still to be determined, but they were suggesting earlier he used his warrant card to foster a sense of trust.

There is little you can do to protect yourselves, when the protectors are the ones instigating harm. People in positions of trust and authority are still just people ultimately.

I have no suggestions other than the ones I tell my wife, situational awareness, don't make yourself a target and I’d rather she got a cab than walk home, but even cabs are not always a safe bet.

Sorry how does a woman make herself a target? "

Good question.

To answer your original question, no I don’t feel safe walking alone at night, and depending on the location and circumstances, sometimes not during the day either. Being catcalled from building sites at such a young age that I’d only just started puberty guaranteed that.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

This.

To imply that women who don’t feel safe alone at night simply don’t have 'street smarts', or martial arts training, is at best glib and at worst deeply offensive.

Same for me, it wasn't the one who was squaring up to me that hit me, it was one of his mates stood to the side who punched me so I had no chance of defending myself as didn't even see it coming, I was on the floor before I knew what had happened and the whole gang including the girls with them piled in and gave me a kicking. I was livid afterwards that as an adult man I'd been beaten up by a gang of kids! But at least they didn't stab me or give me any fatal injuries.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d like them to explain why they arrested a police officer in connection with Sarah’s disappearance?!

I’d certainly be more aware of my surroundings and being approached by strangers but if it turns out someone she knew or thought wasn't a threat actually harmed her, where does that leave us? "

Women are killed by their partners/ husbands every week.

Where does that leave us?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I've always felt safe walking alone at night. It's something I've always done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish I felt safe walking around at night, but sadly I don't. Not unless I'm with someone else.

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By *ch WellMan
over a year ago

Scotland

Can I ask those women who don't feel safe, now I'm not belittling anyone's fear but how many have actually had an incident to give them this fear or is it just the feeling that something could happen?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can I ask those women who don't feel safe, now I'm not belittling anyone's fear but how many have actually had an incident to give them this fear or is it just the feeling that something could happen?"

Many probably have actually.

It doesn't necessarily mean all the women that feel unsafe have been attacked, iv definitely been inappropriately approached in the street my a man several times.

I've had a man put his arm around me who I have never met before on a bus and asked are you all right love, smile you would look pretty if you smile! It doesn't have to be violence that makes you feel unsafe.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I’ve been followed at night, that’s enough for me to feel unsafe. Also although I haven’t been attacked, there have been plenty of scary incidents during the day as well.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I've had a d*unk man grab my wheelchair and he started trying to push me into the road and that was when I was with a guy off Fab stood with me. I was fortunate Joel stepped in because the d*unk guy wasn't letting go, despite my protestations. Not that it's relevant, but I was sober as a church mouse and modesty dressed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I walk at night and I'm relatively relaxed. i live in a nice area of a big city

I am usually uber aware of my surroundings and used to keep a heavy duty steel hair spike in my hand in my pocket

I also know some basic self defence, but reckon I'd forget it all in the panic if i was attacked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why? If they have never been attacked are they just worrying about nothing?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yes, I have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t really know. Can’t remember the last time I walked alone at night. I usually drive or get a cab

. Lazy!

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By *ch WellMan
over a year ago

Scotland

Why? If they have never been attacked are they just worrying about nothing?"

I'm just trying to get an idea of what it is that gives women their fears. I can understand someone who has been attacked in some way probably always having that fear but I'm just trying to understand where the fear comes from for those who haven't been attacked in anyway. Not judging, or dismissing, just trying to get an understanding that I as a man doesn't have

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I was flashed at when I was stood alone at a bus stop when I was 18. That was possibly the start.

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By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

no i never would after a incident years ago, cabs all the way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why? If they have never been attacked are they just worrying about nothing?

Fair enough.

Most women have had an incident of some sort with a man at some time in their life. Probably more than one incident. So they have personal experience to be wary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This whole sorry saga has made me feel just awful. The thought that a woman could see me and feel threatened actually makes me feel physically ill. I don't have a solution to this problem but I hate it so much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This whole sorry saga has made me feel just awful. The thought that a woman could see me and feel threatened actually makes me feel physically ill. I don't have a solution to this problem but I hate it so much.

We aint to fond either

Not five minutes ago my ex kicked me

And before anyone tells me to reach out for help, feel free to pm me and i'll tell you my story

You may see things differently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We aint to fond either

Not five minutes ago my ex kicked me

And before anyone tells me to reach out for help, feel free to pm me and i'll tell you my story

You may see things differently"

He literally kicked you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We aint to fond either

Not five minutes ago my ex kicked me

And before anyone tells me to reach out for help, feel free to pm me and i'll tell you my story

You may see things differently

He literally kicked you?"

Yup

And yes

Ive reached out for help

Mental health services have offered me zoom calls

Despite the fact that i have told them i am fighting to get out of an abusive relationship

I dont think she quite grasped what abusive relationship means. Bless

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By *ch WellMan
over a year ago

Scotland

I can think of 1 instance where my innocent actions for want of a better description could cause alarm. I used to go out mountain biking and this particular day I was cycling through my local woods. The woods are notorious for a couple of high profile murders in the late 70s early 80s aswell as an attempted murder of a woman a 3 or 4 years ago. Anyway, I was cycling up a particularly steep path and was starting to struggle and was really needing to stop for a breather but felt I couldn't as there was a lone female also walking up the path with nobody else around. I tried to keep going so I could pass her but I had to give up when I was rather close to her. I was very aware of how it could seem so reassured her she was safe and I didn't have a choice but to stop for a breather. She seemed absolutely fine about it but it was an instant that made me think about how a women could feel in an isolated area.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I absolutely do not. Its scary enough being harrassed or followed in the daytime.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I usually feel safe when out and about. Even walking in London at night didn’t bother me any time I’ve visited.

We should be able to go out and feel safe. Guys can be attacked too.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

It's really not safe at all, my niece witnessed an attempted abduction a few weeks ago and then last week a guy grabbed her arm and then said things in her ear before she managed to get away.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Why? If they have never been attacked are they just worrying about nothing?

Men. That’s what gives us our fears.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I usually feel safe when out and about. Even walking in London at night didn’t bother me any time I’ve visited.

We should be able to go out and feel safe. Guys can be attacked too. "

Of course men can be attacked but this isn't so much about being physically attacked it's about perception a feeling safe.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I’ve walked at night and when on the rare occasion I’ve seen a line woman walking I’ve crossed the road away from her to make her feel safer. I hope.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Over a decade of incidents of varying degrees. Strangers cornering me, following me, putting their hands on me, getting uncomfortably close to deliberately intimidate me and obviously enjoying my discomfort, making comments about my body and clothing, loudly telling their friends explicit things they want to do to me.

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By *oxyVikingCouple
over a year ago

East Anglia

"So there's been quite a lot on the news this morning about how a large majority of women have said they don't feel safe walking alone in the street at night.

I was thinking about this and on the whole i do, I actually prefer to go out for a walk or to shop later in the evening as it's quieter.

Over the years quite a few friends have said they wouldn't do it unless absolutely necessary.

So a question for the woman, do you feel safe walking alone at night and if not what would make you feel safer?"

No, never. But then I’m an absolute whimp who sleeps with the light on when Od is away. I think of all the things that could possible go wrong..(we live in a quiet village and the likelihood is pretty small someone is waiting to attack, but still)

We used to have a big dog before and he was very protective over me and that’s the only time I felt safe at night. Freya

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually feel safe when out and about. Even walking in London at night didn’t bother me any time I’ve visited.

We should be able to go out and feel safe. Guys can be attacked too. "

Guys can be attacked but we don't get sexist stuff shouted at us everday. We don't have car horns beeped at us and stuff shouted at us as they drive past if we are wearing tight clothing.

How some guys act towards women is appalling and I worry sites like this attract them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some places would make me feel uneasy now but Id also have a phone in me which I didn't gave as a child.

This is a good tip.

Another one someone on here suggested when on a meet:

Arrange to text a friend something daft like "having a shit time, he looks like a frog!!" If you text anything else, or don't text, your friend will call for help.

If you are attacked they may force you to reply "I'm having fun and doing ok". So make sure your confirmation text reply isn't anything like that.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I’ve walked at night and when on the rare occasion I’ve seen a line woman walking I’ve crossed the road away from her to make her feel safer. I hope. "

Thank you.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I think some places would make me feel uneasy now but Id also have a phone in me which I didn't gave as a child.

This is a good tip.

Another one someone on here suggested when on a meet:

Arrange to text a friend something daft like "having a shit time, he looks like a frog!!" If you text anything else, or don't text, your friend will call for help.

If you are attacked they may force you to reply "I'm having fun and doing ok". So make sure your confirmation text reply isn't anything like that. "

When I first came on fab I used to chat to a lady and it was her first time going to a club with a guy from here so I was her secret virtual safe buddy and she texted a daft message which translated as ‘all good’ whereas anything else like ‘I’m ok’ was a sign to send the car reg number she got a lift in to the police.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some places would make me feel uneasy now but Id also have a phone in me which I didn't gave as a child.

This is a good tip.

Another one someone on here suggested when on a meet:

Arrange to text a friend something daft like "having a shit time, he looks like a frog!!" If you text anything else, or don't text, your friend will call for help.

If you are attacked they may force you to reply "I'm having fun and doing ok". So make sure your confirmation text reply isn't anything like that.

I think it was Diamondsmiles who suggested it on here. Years ago but I still remember.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I think some places would make me feel uneasy now but Id also have a phone in me which I didn't gave as a child.

This is a good tip.

Another one someone on here suggested when on a meet:

Arrange to text a friend something daft like "having a shit time, he looks like a frog!!" If you text anything else, or don't text, your friend will call for help.

If you are attacked they may force you to reply "I'm having fun and doing ok". So make sure your confirmation text reply isn't anything like that.

I think it was Diamondsmiles who suggested it on here. Years ago but I still remember. "
yes I believe you’re right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walking home at night in my uni city, I had to walk past a large group of 40-something men and got catcalled.. when I didn't react they started shouting at me and then threw the bottles of beer they were drinking at me.

When it hit the pavement next to me and exploded I broke into a flat out sprint and they laughed.

So yes I am scared to walk alone at night because some men like to make women feel scared an vulnerable.

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By *ingle Beds LassWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

I'm a big lass... but not a chance I would walk whilst it's dark outside on my own.... OK a tad OTT...I would think twice before walking in the dark in my own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I've had a few incidents that have made me feel unsafe, one where I was physically hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didnt mean to blurt out my stuff

Up there ^^

Ive just had the day from hell and my fingers typed it before i had a chance to stop them

Once again wonderful Fab people came to my rescue

Thankyou x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I'm very careful both when out as male and as female. I've definitely felt very uneasy at times when presenting male, but it's only when presenting female that I've actually been assaulted. Fortunately never seriously, and have always escaped with no physical damage, but things could easily have turned very nasty.

The three occasions that I can think of have all been in Manchester city centre, in the gay village area, by people specifically targeting trans women. Once a gang of youths hanging around a side street being verbally transphobic and threatening. Once a group of very d*unk women thinking it a great laugh to grab at hair, clothing etc. Once a street beggar who suddenly jumped up, ran at me and tried to grab my bag and knock me over - only to be floored himself within 5 steps by a door man from the pub that I happened to be walking past.

Fortunately I make a rule of never going drinking on nights out, all three situations could have had very different outcome if I had been intoxicated. Too often I have seen other trans women tottering round bad areas in 5 inch heels, wearing very little, three sheets to the wind. It shouldn't matter, women and men shouldn't have to fear assault whatever. But people I've known have been attacked and badly hurt. I have heard cases of tv girls being assaulted by their taxi driver, and not reporting it because their lifestyle would then be revealed to their family. One girl I knew was found drowned in the Canal Street canal - the police suggested that she might have been d*unk and just fell in, we were all sure that yes she would have been d*unk, but also very certain that it was no accident.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I wouldn’t walk around on my own at night now. Years ago I used to and feel fine, but as times have changed I’ve become more wary x

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

Just a couple of things have read / seen on news. A Peer has suggested they may put amendment to a bill soon stating all males must have 6pm curfew. This on my news feed now.

On another news a suggestion was made by someone from a spokesperson from a campaign group, again saying that extra law be brought in to existing laws. That if a male even smiles / winks at female in public place , ie on bus then could be reported as harassment. This on BBC news channel today. Forum comments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not a woman but thought I'd give my take. As a bloke who keeps himself to himself, iv been jumped on 3 diffrent occasions by groups of lads. Yet my 3 sisters have all grown up unscathed so id say lads are more vulnerable than girls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just a couple of things have read / seen on news. A Peer has suggested they may put amendment to a bill soon stating all males must have 6pm curfew. This on my news feed now.

The same peer also in favour of self defined gender identity, so after 6pm I'm a woman...sorted.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

No I don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where I live yeah I’d work anywhere on my own at any time of night but I live in a small village where most people know me or know of me. I wouldn’t walk alone in a city or somewhere I’m not familiar.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When it hit the pavement next to me and exploded I broke into a flat out sprint and they laughed.

So yes I am scared to walk alone at night because some men like to make women feel scared an vulnerable."
I think men are worse when all in s group eggin each other on..need to grow up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never felt completely safe alone at night, I'm not a wimp, I'm trained in C&R and self defence but I'm always wary and avoid being out alone.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I've only lived here for two years. Most of this didn't happen here. Some has but its happened everywhere I've lived and I've lived in a lot of places.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Why? If they have never been attacked are they just worrying about nothing?

Christ where do you want me to start?

Couple off the top of my head.

Not long after I'd left school I walked to my friends house who lived about 20 mins away. Geezer started following me, got to my friends house and started walking up the drive, he shouted "where are you going, I haven't finished yet"

I turned round and he was cock in hand having a good ole shuffle.

Countless comments shouted at me from cars, workmen, groups of lads.

Been on a bus and had a random come and sat next to me so I was wedged against the window and he started telling me to "go on, show me your pussy" and badgering me for my number.

Been on a train and had a bloke wanking opposite

Had blokes grabbing me at work coz they've had too much to drink.

House opposite was having a party, it got to about 3am and I went over to ask them to keep the noise down a bit coz it would only be a matter of time before the police were called, one of the lads came out and was telling me to come in and have a dance. As I was walking away he grabbed my arse and fanny and told me I was lovely before licking my ear.

Yeah, I felt REAL lovely at that moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After reading these horror stories I am glad I can conceal carry.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Women and men should be able to walk the streets safely..

Absolutely...

But what is the solution?

We cannot post a cop on every street...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dozens of incidents over the years. Ranging from relatively minor to very full on assault.

I don't trust anyone now, for good reason.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I am not sure this is a new thing..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it depends a lot on where you live...I will happily walk alone at night where I live, but where my nan lives in East London? Not a chance in hell.

As I've just said above it's exactly that for me.

I've been thinking about that and I wonder if statistically I am any less safe or whether it's just the perception. "

i think most of us feel the same - its probably mostly perception but even know the streets and a potential escape route myst make you a little safer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's wise that everyone is on alert status when they go out at night, particularly women

I live in an OK area, but feel much better when the dog has his bedtime walk, if there are two of us

If I take him out on my own at night, I stick to the main road and populated streets as opposed to taking him on the field or into the woods

Can I ask why you think women Particularly should be alert?

From a being randomly attacked and found dead perspective, I think they're more at risk than a bloke

I have no evidence for that, that's just what I think (from what we see)

I believe that beyond childhood, risk of violence disproportionately affects men."

thats the statistics but what are the stories ? is there data on what was happening immediately preceding the violence? my gut would tell me more women than men experience violence merely for being on the street alone

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think it's wise that everyone is on alert status when they go out at night, particularly women

I live in an OK area, but feel much better when the dog has his bedtime walk, if there are two of us

If I take him out on my own at night, I stick to the main road and populated streets as opposed to taking him on the field or into the woods

Can I ask why you think women Particularly should be alert?

From a being randomly attacked and found dead perspective, I think they're more at risk than a bloke

I have no evidence for that, that's just what I think (from what we see)

I believe that beyond childhood, risk of violence disproportionately affects men.

I don't know, I really don't. I think both the risk and the fear are issues.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Why? If they have never been attacked are they just worrying about nothing?

Christ where do you want me to start?

Couple off the top of my head.

I turned round and he was cock in hand having a good ole shuffle.

Countless comments shouted at me from cars, workmen, groups of lads.

Been on a bus and had a random come and sat next to me so I was wedged against the window and he started telling me to "go on, show me your pussy" and badgering me for my number.

Been on a train and had a bloke wanking opposite

Had blokes grabbing me at work coz they've had too much to drink.

Yeah, I felt REAL lovely at that moment "

Fucking hell

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Why? If they have never been attacked are they just worrying about nothing?

Christ where do you want me to start?

Couple off the top of my head.

I turned round and he was cock in hand having a good ole shuffle.

Countless comments shouted at me from cars, workmen, groups of lads.

Been on a bus and had a random come and sat next to me so I was wedged against the window and he started telling me to "go on, show me your pussy" and badgering me for my number.

Been on a train and had a bloke wanking opposite

Had blokes grabbing me at work coz they've had too much to drink.

Yeah, I felt REAL lovely at that moment

Fucking hell

I don't think any of these are "out of the ordinary" for your average woman.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Best advice...stay in after dark but then.there is lobby saying it's victim shaming..

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Best advice...stay in after dark but then.there is lobby saying it's victim shaming.."

This shit happens in the day too.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Why? If they have never been attacked are they just worrying about nothing?

Christ where do you want me to start?

Couple off the top of my head.

I turned round and he was cock in hand having a good ole shuffle.

Countless comments shouted at me from cars, workmen, groups of lads.

Been on a bus and had a random come and sat next to me so I was wedged against the window and he started telling me to "go on, show me your pussy" and badgering me for my number.

Been on a train and had a bloke wanking opposite

Had blokes grabbing me at work coz they've had too much to drink.

Yeah, I felt REAL lovely at that moment

Fucking hell

I don't think any of these are "out of the ordinary" for your average woman."

The stock response for a fella I guess is to say I wouldnt dream of doing anything like that,but evidently there are plenty around who do.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Best advice...stay in after dark but then.there is lobby saying it's victim shaming.."

How do I get home from work in the winter if I can’t go out after dark? Why should I stay at home, why can’t men control themselves? And what about all the daytime incidents?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why? If they have never been attacked are they just worrying about nothing?

Christ where do you want me to start?

Couple off the top of my head.

I turned round and he was cock in hand having a good ole shuffle.

Countless comments shouted at me from cars, workmen, groups of lads.

Been on a bus and had a random come and sat next to me so I was wedged against the window and he started telling me to "go on, show me your pussy" and badgering me for my number.

Been on a train and had a bloke wanking opposite

Had blokes grabbing me at work coz they've had too much to drink.

Yeah, I felt REAL lovely at that moment

Fucking hell

I don't think any of these are "out of the ordinary" for your average woman.

The stock response for a fella I guess is to say I wouldnt dream of doing anything like that,but evidently there are plenty around who do."

part of the issue and this isnt aimed at you lionel more general... we need men to not just be passive or saying well this is terrible but i would never , we need them to be actively calling out their mates misogynistic behaviour before it ever gets to this stage

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Fucking hell

I don't think any of these are "out of the ordinary" for your average woman.

The stock response for a fella I guess is to say I wouldnt dream of doing anything like that,but evidently there are plenty around who do.

Yes. Absolutely yes to all of this

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Best advice...stay in after dark but then.there is lobby saying it's victim shaming.."

I always start my worst story with "it was broad daylight, I was in a public place where I was supposed to be, I wasn't intoxicated, I was dressed from collarbone to wrist to ankle in loose clothing, and it started when I answered someone's request for directions..."

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Best advice...stay in after dark but then.there is lobby saying it's victim shaming.."

You don't truly believe this.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Why? If they have never been attacked are they just worrying about nothing?

Christ where do you want me to start?

Couple off the top of my head.

I turned round and he was cock in hand having a good ole shuffle.

Countless comments shouted at me from cars, workmen, groups of lads.

Been on a bus and had a random come and sat next to me so I was wedged against the window and he started telling me to "go on, show me your pussy" and badgering me for my number.

Been on a train and had a bloke wanking opposite

Had blokes grabbing me at work coz they've had too much to drink.

Yeah, I felt REAL lovely at that moment

Fucking hell

I don't think any of these are "out of the ordinary" for your average woman.

The stock response for a fella I guess is to say I wouldnt dream of doing anything like that,but evidently there are plenty around who do.

Its hard to know how to respond because I've never gone out with mates who has done anything like that.

But obviously this type of shit goes on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucking hell

I don't think any of these are "out of the ordinary" for your average woman.

The stock response for a fella I guess is to say I wouldnt dream of doing anything like that,but evidently there are plenty around who do.

Yes. Absolutely yes to all of this"

it starts with overlooking what is seen as silly banter , normalising the disrespect and perpetuating the thinking that women are inferior, or sexual property of men ... and the note normal that becomes the more it escalatas

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Its hard to know how to respond because I've never gone out with mates who has done anything like that.

But obviously this type of shit goes on."

As Girlinlingerie says.

And also, if you notice what looks like a man talking to a woman who's uncomfortable, go start conversation with him. You thought he was X you used to work with. Distract him - if you're mistaken the woman will likely join in or continue the conversation. If you're right, you've given her a chance to escape.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go on walks at night with my dog go through the woods in pitch black go round the streets and to be honest I never see a soal so I have no reason to get worried.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I go on walks at night with my dog go through the woods in pitch black go round the streets and to be honest I never see a soal so I have no reason to get worried."

That's good the..... Totally on topic lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?"

No. We use house keys wedged between our index and middle fingers. Car keys used to work, but keycards aren't as helpful nowadays. Actually, I can't do the key thing anymore, I need both hands for self-propelling.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?"

The point is they shouldn't have to.

Also, I may be wrong and I'm sure someone will tell me lol but I think it's about intent. You can't carry things with the intent to hurt someone. I'm sure I got told that that's why we can't wear things like knuckle dusters etc.

I'm off to Google.

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

Yeah because it only happens in Liverpool

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Its hard to know how to respond because I've never gone out with mates who has done anything like that.

But obviously this type of shit goes on.

As Girlinlingerie says.

Someone mentioned something before about when you see a man shouting at a woman to go and intervene but how many times of you hearing that happen,and the couple turning on the man?

Its a fucking minefield.

I wouldn't know where to start

School probally.

Where men are taught not to act like cunts but its possibly something you pick up at home

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google. "

I believe anything brought for the purposes of attacking - as opposed to what you happen to have, like keys - can be classed as an offensive weapon and enhance criminal charges.

Mace and pepper spray are specifically illegal for public use.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Its hard to know how to respond because I've never gone out with mates who has done anything like that.

But obviously this type of shit goes on.

As Girlinlingerie says.

Someone mentioned something before about when you see a man shouting at a woman to go and intervene but how many times of you hearing that happen,and the couple turning on the man?

Its a fucking minefield.

I wouldn't know where to start

School probally.

Where men are taught not to act like cunts but its possibly something you pick up at home"

It's true. What I've seen is suggestions that men who'll hurt women won't attack men.

I wish I knew how to help other than hardening my own heart and minimising my own risk.

But me minimising my risk just means someone else will cop it.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Yeah because it only happens in Liverpool

Funnily enough, most of my incidents actually happened not too far from the person who commented that's location rather than Liverpool. I don't personally see it as a reflection of the area however, it just happened to be where I spent most of my early 20s.

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

Yeah because it only happens in Liverpool

Exactly chick, it can happen anywhere sadly

Sorry you went through that xx

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Its hard to know how to respond because I've never gone out with mates who has done anything like that.

But obviously this type of shit goes on.

As Girlinlingerie says.

Someone mentioned something before about when you see a man shouting at a woman to go and intervene but how many times of you hearing that happen,and the couple turning on the man?

Its a fucking minefield.

I wouldn't know where to start

School probally.

Where men are taught not to act like cunts but its possibly something you pick up at home"

I was on a train once with a man verbally abusing a woman. Seemed to be a couple in a domestic. My tactic was to not engage him at all, make eye contact only with the woman and ask her if she was okay. She thanked me and said she was, he sulked for the rest of the journey. Probably risky on my part but it just really got to me how he was clearly so comfortable to speak to her like that in front of a crowd of people desperately trying to look everywhere but in their direction.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Its hard to know how to respond because I've never gone out with mates who has done anything like that.

But obviously this type of shit goes on.

As Girlinlingerie says.

Someone mentioned something before about when you see a man shouting at a woman to go and intervene but how many times of you hearing that happen,and the couple turning on the man?

Its a fucking minefield.

I wouldn't know where to start

School probally.

Where men are taught not to act like cunts but its possibly something you pick up at home

I think the problem just goes deeper

What type of fruit loop would find it acceptable to wank on a train by a woman?

I don't know if its education or maybe symptomatic of the type of society we live in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Best advice...stay in after dark but then.there is lobby saying it's victim shaming..

This shit happens in the day too."

And in very public places- I had 2 lads crowding in on me and grabbing at me on a train station-I proudly asked them to leave me alone and people just watched.

I got onto the train and they followed me and penned me into a set of seats- it took one very kinda father and son to challenge them for them to leave me alone!

They also kindly walked me off my train and straight to a taxi home!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Its hard to know how to respond because I've never gone out with mates who has done anything like that.

But obviously this type of shit goes on.

As Girlinlingerie says.

Someone mentioned something before about when you see a man shouting at a woman to go and intervene but how many times of you hearing that happen,and the couple turning on the man?

Its a fucking minefield.

I wouldn't know where to start

School probally.

Where men are taught not to act like cunts but its possibly something you pick up at home

I think the problem just goes deeper

What type of fruit loop would find it acceptable to wank on a train by a woman?

I don't know if its education or maybe symptomatic of the type of society we live in?"

Fuck knows.

It's fucking sick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

I believe anything brought for the purposes of attacking - as opposed to what you happen to have, like keys - can be classed as an offensive weapon and enhance criminal charges.

Mace and pepper spray are specifically illegal for public use."

So women are left with just keys for self defense. Influx of immigration that has a different culture twords women you are basically a moving target if someone has intent.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

I believe anything brought for the purposes of attacking - as opposed to what you happen to have, like keys - can be classed as an offensive weapon and enhance criminal charges.

Mace and pepper spray are specifically illegal for public use.

So women are left with just keys for self defense. Influx of immigration that has a different culture twords women you are basically a moving target if someone has intent."

Why is immigration relevant?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

I believe anything brought for the purposes of attacking - as opposed to what you happen to have, like keys - can be classed as an offensive weapon and enhance criminal charges.

Mace and pepper spray are specifically illegal for public use.

So women are left with just keys for self defense. Influx of immigration that has a different culture twords women you are basically a moving target if someone has intent."

People generally aren't carrying weapons and scumbags can be of all nationalities.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

I believe anything brought for the purposes of attacking - as opposed to what you happen to have, like keys - can be classed as an offensive weapon and enhance criminal charges.

Mace and pepper spray are specifically illegal for public use.

So women are left with just keys for self defense. Influx of immigration that has a different culture twords women you are basically a moving target if someone has intent."

Did you miss the bit where the alleged perpetrator of this crime is a middle aged white British male? Race has sweet FA to do with anything.

I have no desire to carry or use firearms, sprays etc. We have a problem with certain sections of youth carrying knives for "self defense". They're more likely to be stabbed with their own knife than one belonging to another "G".

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Its hard to know how to respond because I've never gone out with mates who has done anything like that.

But obviously this type of shit goes on.

As Girlinlingerie says.

Someone mentioned something before about when you see a man shouting at a woman to go and intervene but how many times of you hearing that happen,and the couple turning on the man?

Its a fucking minefield.

I wouldn't know where to start

School probally.

Where men are taught not to act like cunts but its possibly something you pick up at home

I think the problem just goes deeper

What type of fruit loop would find it acceptable to wank on a train by a woman?

I don't know if its education or maybe symptomatic of the type of society we live in?"

My dad once told me a story of my mum coming home an emotional wreck after going out for a walk with me in the pram when I was little and a man in the park flashing her and wanking.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google. "

Yeah I think that’s true. Even keys through the fingers can get you into trouble, as your “intent” is to use them as a weapon.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Its hard to know how to respond because I've never gone out with mates who has done anything like that.

But obviously this type of shit goes on.

As Girlinlingerie says.

Someone mentioned something before about when you see a man shouting at a woman to go and intervene but how many times of you hearing that happen,and the couple turning on the man?

Its a fucking minefield.

I wouldn't know where to start

School probally.

Where men are taught not to act like cunts but its possibly something you pick up at home

I think the problem just goes deeper

What type of fruit loop would find it acceptable to wank on a train by a woman?

I don't know if its education or maybe symptomatic of the type of society we live in?

My dad once told me a story of my mum coming home an emotional wreck after going out for a walk with me in the pram when I was little and a man in the park flashing her and wanking. "

I think for a long time flashing was seen as a bit of a joke

There was a story recently where a fella had flashed the girl.she reported it to the police but nothing happened.a few weeks later he had murdered her.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

I believe anything brought for the purposes of attacking - as opposed to what you happen to have, like keys - can be classed as an offensive weapon and enhance criminal charges.

Mace and pepper spray are specifically illegal for public use.

So women are left with just keys for self defense. Influx of immigration that has a different culture twords women you are basically a moving target if someone has intent."

Don’t. Don’t do that. Every single incident I’ve experienced has been white British men, so don’t start that.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I do not feel afraid being out after after dark.

Maybe I'd feel differently if I lived elsewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it all interesting, I have an old friend who runs a very similar route to where sadly the incident happened. It really struck her. She recognises it isn’t as common as it feels right now, but it’s clearly a worry.

It is something I can’t comprehend, the level of fear or anger towards another within this case, hopefully none of us can. I find this very interesting but so, so sad. I also loathe the whole idea of fear being experienced by anyone, particularly women, within the general wider public world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

I believe anything brought for the purposes of attacking - as opposed to what you happen to have, like keys - can be classed as an offensive weapon and enhance criminal charges.

Mace and pepper spray are specifically illegal for public use.

So women are left with just keys for self defense. Influx of immigration that has a different culture twords women you are basically a moving target if someone has intent.

Did you miss the bit where the alleged perpetrator of this crime is a middle aged white British male? Race has sweet FA to do with anything.

If she had some type of self defense don't you think the outcome could have been different ? I agree some men are misoginists I have them here but I refuse to be a victim.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

I believe anything brought for the purposes of attacking - as opposed to what you happen to have, like keys - can be classed as an offensive weapon and enhance criminal charges.

Mace and pepper spray are specifically illegal for public use.

So women are left with just keys for self defense. Influx of immigration that has a different culture twords women you are basically a moving target if someone has intent.

Did you miss the bit where the alleged perpetrator of this crime is a middle aged white British male? Race has sweet FA to do with anything.

If she had some type of self defense don't you think the outcome could have been different ? I agree some men are misoginists I have them here but I refuse to be a victim. "

No. I do not.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"I find it all interesting, I have an old friend who runs a very similar route to where sadly the incident happened. It really struck her. She recognises it isn’t as common as it feels right now, but it’s clearly a worry.

It’s true that being snatched off the street and murdered isn’t common, but the catcalling etc is very common, and we have no way of knowing who will “just” catcall and who will do something much worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

Yeah I think that’s true. Even keys through the fingers can get you into trouble, as your “intent” is to use them as a weapon."

An offensive weapon, in law is anything "Made adapted or intended to cause injury".

Made and adapted is straight forward .... intended would have to be proved.

It's also unlawful to possess anything that has a blade or is sharply pointed (without reasonable excuse)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly you do not know someone's intent you are not a mind reader.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

I believe anything brought for the purposes of attacking - as opposed to what you happen to have, like keys - can be classed as an offensive weapon and enhance criminal charges.

Mace and pepper spray are specifically illegal for public use.

So women are left with just keys for self defense. Influx of immigration that has a different culture twords women you are basically a moving target if someone has intent.

Did you miss the bit where the alleged perpetrator of this crime is a middle aged white British male? Race has sweet FA to do with anything.

If she had some type of self defense don't you think the outcome could have been different ? I agree some men are misoginists I have them here but I refuse to be a victim. "

Look, I’ve just sat through a documentary about the Dunblane shooting 25 years ago. I remember it all too well anyway, but watching it was hard. I don’t want to hear your pro-gun lobbying at any time, but especially not now.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

For me the gun thing falls down - if I can have a gun, so can the bad guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

Yeah I think that’s true. Even keys through the fingers can get you into trouble, as your “intent” is to use them as a weapon.

An offensive weapon, in law is anything "Made adapted or intended to cause injury".

Made and adapted is straight forward .... intended would have to be proved.

It's also unlawful to possess anything that has a blade or is sharply pointed (without reasonable excuse)"

So basically women are neutered you have 0 ability to defend against anything a man will do except waiting for the police and pray the get there in time.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

Yeah I think that’s true. Even keys through the fingers can get you into trouble, as your “intent” is to use them as a weapon.

An offensive weapon, in law is anything "Made adapted or intended to cause injury".

Made and adapted is straight forward .... intended would have to be proved.

It's also unlawful to possess anything that has a blade or is sharply pointed (without reasonable excuse)

So basically women are neutered you have 0 ability to defend against anything a man will do except waiting for the police and pray the get there in time."

Shout, run, push off, use your body. That's not nothing.

This isn't a thread about guns or weapons. We get it, you like guns. We don't generally have guns here, and this is a spin off of an event that happened here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

I believe anything brought for the purposes of attacking - as opposed to what you happen to have, like keys - can be classed as an offensive weapon and enhance criminal charges.

Mace and pepper spray are specifically illegal for public use.

So women are left with just keys for self defense. Influx of immigration that has a different culture twords women you are basically a moving target if someone has intent.

Did you miss the bit where the alleged perpetrator of this crime is a middle aged white British male? Race has sweet FA to do with anything.

If she had some type of self defense don't you think the outcome could have been different ? I agree some men are misoginists I have them here but I refuse to be a victim.

I didn't say gun. I think you should have the ability to defend yourself. Mace is not lethal.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

Yeah I think that’s true. Even keys through the fingers can get you into trouble, as your “intent” is to use them as a weapon.

An offensive weapon, in law is anything "Made adapted or intended to cause injury".

Made and adapted is straight forward .... intended would have to be proved.

It's also unlawful to possess anything that has a blade or is sharply pointed (without reasonable excuse)

So basically women are neutered you have 0 ability to defend against anything a man will do except waiting for the police and pray the get there in time."

What happens when your gun or whatever is wrestled off you? Now you're staring down the barrel.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Can't women there carry mace atleast ?

The point is they shouldn't have to.

I'm off to Google.

Yeah I think that’s true. Even keys through the fingers can get you into trouble, as your “intent” is to use them as a weapon.

An offensive weapon, in law is anything "Made adapted or intended to cause injury".

Made and adapted is straight forward .... intended would have to be proved.

It's also unlawful to possess anything that has a blade or is sharply pointed (without reasonable excuse)

So basically women are neutered you have 0 ability to defend against anything a man will do except waiting for the police and pray the get there in time.

What happens when your gun or whatever is wrestled off you? Now you're staring down the barrel. "

Or the bad guy has a gun and he gets there first.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

In a civilised society women shouldnt have to walk around with an ak-47

And even then...that wouldn't solve the problem of some sex case wanking by you on the train.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They can try I practice alot. But I not saying you to have a gun. I am saying as a woman you should be able to defend yourself against threats. Mace is non lethal it's all I saying. Yes we have guns here it's a part of my life. But to sit back and let men treat you like you are vulnerable is crazy.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"They can try I practice alot. But I not saying you to have a gun. I am saying as a woman you should be able to defend yourself against threats. Mace is non lethal it's all I saying. Yes we have guns here it's a part of my life. But to sit back and let men treat you like you are vulnerable is crazy. "

I'm a manual wheelchair user. I haven't got any free hands when I'm out and about to deploy mace, a gun or anything else. I also don't want to carry or use such things.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

The problem is the mans

Not the womans.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Who's sitting back? Weapons are not the answer to all life's problems, even non lethal weapons. We've discussed various ways of mitigating risk through this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i really really pray nothing bad ever happens to you , but please don’t let the fact you are able to carry something for self defence fool you into thinking you will never be a victim and also stop suggesting that women are allowing men to treat them like they are vulnerable - you are literally perpetuating the exact thinking we are talking about that lets these scumbags think it is acceptable - women vulnerable man strong bla bla, victims fault for not protecting herself bla bla ,

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Who's sitting back? Weapons are not the answer to all life's problems, even non lethal weapons. We've discussed various ways of mitigating risk through this thread "

I sit down, but not back

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Who's sitting back? Weapons are not the answer to all life's problems, even non lethal weapons. We've discussed various ways of mitigating risk through this thread

I sit down, but not back

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Who's sitting back? Weapons are not the answer to all life's problems, even non lethal weapons. We've discussed various ways of mitigating risk through this thread

I sit down, but not back

You're better with a slight forward lean, get the weak and feeble shoulders over the wheels more...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its hard to know how to respond because I've never gone out with mates who has done anything like that.

But obviously this type of shit goes on.

As Girlinlingerie says.

Someone mentioned something before about when you see a man shouting at a woman to go and intervene but how many times of you hearing that happen,and the couple turning on the man?

Its a fucking minefield.

I wouldn't know where to start

School probally.

Where men are taught not to act like cunts but its possibly something you pick up at home

She probably got the shit kicked out of her later for showing him up.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No when I walk home from work , it’s dark, I use my torch on my phone as there’s no lighting but I’m considering pepper spray xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its hard to know how to respond because I've never gone out with mates who has done anything like that.

But obviously this type of shit goes on.

As Girlinlingerie says.

Someone mentioned something before about when you see a man shouting at a woman to go and intervene but how many times of you hearing that happen,and the couple turning on the man?

Its a fucking minefield.

I wouldn't know where to start

School probally.

Where men are taught not to act like cunts but its possibly something you pick up at home"

totally right here, it needs to start very young and much simpler. standing up doesn’t need to be approaching an unknown male who is getting violent , its starts with checking your mate making the inappropriate comments about some women’s arse or tits while stood at the bar having a pint , or telling him enough is enough when you can see him d*unk and overbearing coming onto a woman who clearly has no interest, telling him he is out of line when he jokes about women’s body count meaning she is no good to date

you might not have the friend that openly cat calls in the street or attacks women, but all men have at least one friend who is more subtly misogynistic

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