FabSwingers.com forum: What the sent message tab can tell you...

By *rOral OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

This may sound silly, I know that but...As a single str8 man in Fab ain’t no secret about the men/women ratio, and the struggle trying to get in touch with couples/single ladies as a single man. Most of our messages get ignored (whatever the reason is, that ok, I get that). Nonetheless, I think that taking a peak into the Sent message tab, and seeing any given Message read/deleted, feels okish,and I prefer it that way in terms of courtesy from that profile. Because now I will know that I'm not of any interest on for these profiles, and I'll also understand that those profiles don’t have the time to reply every single message they received, so I move on.

On the other hand, there are those who just Read a message, and do not delete it, do not say a single thing, nothing...I don’t know but it kinda feels rude-ish, is like a Fab’s ghosting lol

So I was wondering, if I am the only one thinking that?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting left on read is just something men on here need to make peace with. Happens to everyone dude. I just take it as "not interested, but too lazy to even delete my message"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feeling of left hanging, better off deleting the message then just reading. Some newbies mightn't know where the delete or block button is yet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

The best thing to do is once you have sent a message just assume that you are done with it, or possibly delete all your sent messages.

People will use their accounts however they want, they might mass delete all the messages once in awhile, or leave them forever undeleted and read, it's totally up to them.

It's only rude on here if you are actually rude. To not reply to a message doesn't include that.

It would be far more rude to to keep you hanging on if they knew they weren't interested.

Replying to a message even if it's with a no thank you gets all kinds of responses from the original sender, I've even had ones that said as I've taken the time to reply to say no thank you so I must be at least a little bit interested.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rOral OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Getting left on read is just something men on here need to make peace with. Happens to everyone dude. I just take it as "not interested, but too lazy to even delete my message""

Hahaha “too lazy to even delete the msg” on point

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

I very rarely delete messages. As per the site rules, if I'm interested I will reply, if I'm not I won't.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rOral OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"The best thing to do is once you have sent a message just assume that you are done with it, or possibly delete all your sent messages.

People will use their accounts however they want, they might mass delete all the messages once in awhile, or leave them forever undeleted and read, it's totally up to them.

It's only rude on here if you are actually rude. To not reply to a message doesn't include that.

It would be far more rude to to keep you hanging on if they knew they weren't interested.

Facts, ppl use their account however they want, period. I was just wondering if read/not deleted msg feel ok-ish or not for the rest. However, thats a good point what you mentioned there about The “massive delete option” could be a good explanation, if I think on the ton of msg’s some profiles can receive on a daily basis

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Stop. Obsessing. over. Your. Sent. Mail. Box

I genuinely think fab need to remove this bloody thing as all it does is wind people up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stop. Obsessing. over. Your. Sent. Mail. Box

I genuinely think fab need to remove this bloody thing as all it does is wind people up. "

This is the way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Just waving hello to a fellow wheelie (I'm PT) *waves*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lueEyesEnigmaMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"Stop. Obsessing. over. Your. Sent. Mail. Box

I genuinely think fab need to remove this bloody thing as all it does is wind people up.

This is the way"

Yes, far too many people read into this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you feel better if the women looked at your message, marked it as unread again and then deleted it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rOral OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Just waving hello to a fellow wheelie (I'm PT) *waves*"
Hello there! *waves back*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rOral OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Stop. Obsessing. over. Your. Sent. Mail. Box

I genuinely think fab need to remove this bloody thing as all it does is wind people up. "
Actually, I think this is a great adivise!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rOral OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Would you feel better if the women looked at your message, marked it as unread again and then deleted it? "
Indeed, I think this would mark out the thanks-but-no-thanks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Would you feel better if the women looked at your message, marked it as unread again and then deleted it? Indeed, I think this would mark out the thanks-but-no-thanks."

Any non reply marks out the thanks but no thanks regardless of if it sits in her inbox or not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please stop.

You send a message, you get no reply.... They aren't interested.

Why feel the need to berate people calling them lazy because they haven't deleted a message, is that really what we've come to? If it bothers a person that much then perhaps they should delete their sent mail and that way they won't be bothered by it... Solved

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I never check sent mail, if people reply they reply, if they don't they don't. Plenty of people on here to chat to

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

OP do you answer ever phishing text you receive about the ‘recent accident you’ve just had’ or your ‘telecom’ provider has failed to process ‘your’ latest bill and you need to contact this number immediately?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly I absolutely don't mind if I have sent a message to someone I don't know but try to get her/his/they attention and they don't reply, it is a reply in itself so I know where I stand.

I only get the feeling of hanging describe above with ppl I do know and have talked with before. Especially if we have made it to Kik and that one I don't like it. If myself I haven't time to read the message or even don't want to reply because I am doing something else, which happens, I just don't open it. Or if I opened by mistake, and can't reply I either leave a quick message to may that j reply later or will apology in my reply later.

Some ppl just love leaving others hanging, especially when they are the ones starting the conversation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"Stop. Obsessing. over. Your. Sent. Mail. Box

I genuinely think fab need to remove this bloody thing as all it does is wind people up. "

This 100% this. All the threads over messages being deleted, not deleted, answered not answered is rude, makes me just want to scream ffs. If someone doesn't answer saying hey I'm really interested, I assume that they arent, and move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rettygoodMan
over a year ago

Whitwick

If you don't see a reply, the conversation is done.

Whether they heard you or not is immaterial, right?

Just focus on the replies you do get, not the messages you've already sent. You'll just drive yourself nuts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

When I was a single fem on here, I started out trying to send a polite 'sorry, not for me' type message to all unwanted mails. I soon got blocked by Admin from sending messages for a few hours, to cool off, meaning I couldn't message those I wanted. Lesson learned.

Once I'd deleted the unsavouries, I'd start to look through others and sometimes didn't have time to reply but wanted to, so I'd leave them in my inbox - which then would get flooded with more mails. Those read but unactioned mails would fall off the bottom, never to be seen again. I wished sometimes those mailers would have sent another message, rather than make assumptions about women being rude/lazy/even disinterested.

There are many ways of managing fabmin, so we don't all approach it the same way, so just note -

It's relentless on here for single women. Every day. Hours and hours of sifting.

The worst is when you rejoice at eventually finding that almost lost golden nugget from the depths of your inbox, only to find they've blocked you, because they've wrongly assumed stuff. Now they'll never know.

It may be frustrating for you guys that don't get a reply but it doesn't make it any less frustrating for us fem's.

Stay positive. Stay polite. Send decent messages. Invest time in your profile. Find a way to accept that your timing isn't necessarily good for someone else.

Accept that and life will become happier.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

When I was single male on here I never ever re-visited the sent box. Ever!

It didn’t exist...as it’s the path to madness wondering why someone hasn’t replied or straight deleted.

If they are interested they will reply, if no reply just move on.

Make FAB work for you...that way you get a better experience out of it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread