FabSwingers.com forum: Most hideous "sexy" purchase

By *ewforestguy OP Man
over a year ago

England

What is your most hideous "sexy" purchase??

I Once bought a pair of mesh style boxers thinking my ex-gf would like me in them. Tried them on and they were hilarious. Didn't even show them to her they were that bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Post a pic!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A male g string . Bollocks kept hanging out . Seems it was a wish special . Designed for micro people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A male g string . Bollocks kept hanging out . Seems it was a wish special . Designed for micro people "

Were you wearing it back to front?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A pvc bodysuit that was very revealing at the front. Safe to say every roll on my tummy poked through and it looked awful. Never saw the light of day after I tried it on

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By *otrockWoman
over a year ago

Essex

A strap on..

The elastic belt bit between my legs cut into my pussy so much and the strap round my hips cut in that much I thought it was going to cut of my circulation, struggled to get the bloody thing off... And it was a large size, I guess my arse and hips are bigger than I thought..

Went straight in the bin.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

A peekaboo quarter cup bra. My breasts didn't just gracefully pop over the top of it, they overflowed and weren't contained in the slightest. Luckily it was able to be returned.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

A dress that lots of ladies wear in clubs. They look sexy & confident. I looked like I was bursting out of a bin bag

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A male g string . Bollocks kept hanging out . Seems it was a wish special . Designed for micro people

Were you wearing it back to front?

There’s a thought !!! It didn’t have fitting instructions so it could be possible . X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A strap on but couldn’t find a willing party so when in next doors bin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Post a pic!

I second this motion!

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I was bought a lovely see-thru bra and knickers set, the knickers had a little frill round them and I looked like one of those dancing elephants from Fantasia

we did laugh about it tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bought a gorgeous burgundy bodysuit from Lovehoney... Fit perfectly from under the boobs down. Despite it being plus size, it seemed the top bra section was made for someone that definitely wasn't a G Cup... Maybe a D at most. Wasn't even a sexy cleavage heavy look just looked too small.

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By *ewforestguy OP Man
over a year ago

England

[Removed by poster at 05/03/21 15:14:15]

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By *ewforestguy OP Man
over a year ago

England

these answers are brilliant. lol

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

A body stocking, one size doesn’t fit all, with its highlights and gathered wrinkles all in the wrong places - I felt like a giant Nora Batty

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By *nNylonCouple
over a year ago

stay now

A latex hood.... "Made to measure"

It bloody wasn't, ended up looking like Rocky Dennis

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

I have a number of “one size fits all” items, proving quite the opposite

Lex

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

faux leather bodysuit with crotchless tights+ gloves set

I don’t know where to start but I learned not to order any sexy looking PVC/leather set from wish!

tights looked like baggy pants with fins, bodysuit upper part have 2 size smaller than the bottom and not even talk about gloves... Don’t know what kind of body that they had measured for that but definitely wasn’t any human

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

King Cock 10.5” long, 8” girth, 9” penetration. Can’t ride it or get more than 3” down throat without risk of dislocating jaw. Never previously owned and or liked playing with toys but gave in to craving due to shielding and went ahead with purchase. On arrival almost fell of my chair it’s that huge. Girth being the issue length not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh god I have so much underwear that looks amazing on the model online - them I put it on

I think my worst one was a peekaboo bra and crotchless knickers with ruffles on the arse.

The ruffles on the knickers made my arse even bigger it could eclipse the sun and the bra was so big my whole boob came out of the bit for the nipple

Awful

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

being petite in height, weight and short in the torso does not equal easy to get clothes especially sexy ones....

I bought a see through dom style bodice which is too long in the body meaning it either hung at my crotch or ruffles on my torso....thankfully I have needle & thread

Had a nightmare recently trying to buy a trench cost, they just drowned me to the point I looked like a 8 yr old with her dad's jacket on! even had to stand on a chair it was that long!!

so I sent my own duffel coat down to use as a measurement guide (with a paid return bag incase there wasn't one)...got a perfect fit (maybe take up an inch so I can wear with flats too as its only centimeters off the ground)

before you say how is a trench coat sexy...its floor length

This is why I hate online shopping!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Been there with the mesh boxers OP - they live in the bottom of the draw along with the lace up ones I bought at the same time - both from the LH "For Him" lingerie range - looked totally ridiculous on and weren't that comfortable either!!

I also misunderstood the 5.5" description on the "large" butt plug I bought from them, thinking it was the circumference - was actually the length, the circumference was 7.5"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A fetish purchase online. A black shiny all in 1 morph suit.

I was careful to give my accurate measurements but it still was 2 sizes to big all over! And these things are meant to be skin tight.

An absolute waste of money!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"faux leather bodysuit with crotchless tights+ gloves set

I don’t know where to start but I learned not to order any sexy looking PVC/leather set from wish!

Ah. The joy of Wish.com!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Funniest thread today. Thanks for the belly laughs.

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

There have been various cheap ebay lingerie purchases which have caused much hilarity when they have eventually arrived from far off lands, most completely unwearable

oh & there was a pair of nipple pasties once which were clearly designed for nipples considerably smaller than mine

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By *ewforestguy OP Man
over a year ago

England

This has properly made me chuckle today people. Thanks for all the replies.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

A body stocking. It was cheap and nasty and I looked like a whale caught in a fisherman's net.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A black chemise thing that my boobs wouldn't fit into properly. The bottom of it was so big that it would billow like a sail and the top bit too small to accommodate my boobs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread has made me laugh so much - thank you everyone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loads, I think the best one was when I was treated to an underwear advent calendar which contained some bodystockings, not exactly a mermade, more like a whale!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Most types of body with po-ppers at the crotch. I'm not that tall, but they're never long enough in the body and because I'm always seated, the po-ppers pop open

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By *ewforestguy OP Man
over a year ago

England

"This thread has made me laugh so much - thank you everyone! "

Been very funny. And I was worried about posting to start with.

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

"faux leather bodysuit with crotchless tights+ gloves set

I don’t know where to start but I learned not to order any sexy looking PVC/leather set from wish!

Ah. The joy of Wish.com!"

...and my wishful thinking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some pvc stockings.. My legs are that little, they look like baggy bin bags.. Not sexy at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A corset for an ex from Amazon. Incredibly sexy on the model, we took one look at it and threw it in the bin. No idea what the model was wearing, but what turned up, apart from being the same col, had no resemblance at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also bought a prostrate vibrator about 4 weeks ago. I have yet to ‘hit the spot’

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I've learned never to buy stockings from China. Either I can barely get them past my knee, or they are so long, they'd easily reach my armpits if my torso allowed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is your most hideous "sexy" purchase??

I Once bought a pair of mesh style boxers thinking my ex-gf would like me in them. Tried them on and they were hilarious. Didn't even show them to her they were that bad. "

Stumbled on this thread this morning...I'm in bed wetting myself. Some brilliant honest stories...omg. I can't stop laughing...

Had those fishnet boxers bought for me OP. Didn't work out to bad. I've posted them

Hope you weren't to hasty...

. Have a great day.

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By *ewforestguy OP Man
over a year ago

England

"What is your most hideous "sexy" purchase??

I Once bought a pair of mesh style boxers thinking my ex-gf would like me in them. Tried them on and they were hilarious. Didn't even show them to her they were that bad.

Stumbled on this thread this morning...I'm in bed wetting myself. Some brilliant honest stories...omg. I can't stop laughing...

Had those fishnet boxers bought for me OP. Didn't work out to bad. I've posted them

Hope you weren't to hasty...

. Have a great day."

Oh I've I still have them, somewhere buried in the deaths of one of my drawers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ordered a red and black 3 piece set when it arrived I laid it out snapped it and sent it off to the guy who would see me in it the following week.

Looked amazing quality was impressed then comes the time to put it on the knickers wouldn't go over my thigh and my boobs couldn't be contained in the bra and the waspi kept falling down. He didn't get the surprise he was anticipating

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

[Removed by poster at 06/03/21 09:38:56]

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

I have the mesh trunks rather than boxers and they’re received very well whenever worn..

The ones that went straight back though were the latex boxers that looked great in the ad but when they arrived resembled the worst incontinence pants you’ve ever seen..

Too much hilarity to do anything sexy after that and I’m glad the photos were all deleted.!!

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