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Reluctant female

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By *onk and Nun OP   Couple
over a year ago

Grimsby

Hi Steve here.

Me and Mel have played with couples in the past, but Mel is a big girl and gets a little green eyed and insecure around other ladies.

She is very happy for us to entertain single guys, but throw a female in the equation for me and its a big no no.

Has anyone else had this and managed to get around it and if so how.... Thanks

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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago

south west

Does she find females sexually attractive is the obvious question?

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

I'd be exactly the same. Give me hoards of guys, not a problem or walking around a naturist spa, throw a woman in, I walk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/02/21 16:34:02]

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

In the past I have had meets where the female of the couple has obviously not been 100% happy with the idea of her partner playing with another woman and as soon as I get that vibe I won't get involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does she actually want to get round this issue or is she content as she is?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Talk to her. That's the only way.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I guess ultimately it comes down to her being comfortable - not nitpicking here nor criticising but I think your use of "for me" in the following phrase "throw a female in the equation for me" is quite telling.

Perhaps if your partner is picking up the vibe (consciously or sub-consciously) that meeting another woman would be "for you" that may further fuel her doubts and insecurities, rather than the experience being about meeting others "for both of you".

Talking things through together can only help, with both of you trying to understand the others perspective - perhaps something as simple as agreeing boundaries will help - maybe agreeing soft play only and no kissing for example - it may limit your options when it comes to play partners but will maybe be a good first slow step towards potentially more as she becomes more comfortable.

Insecurity and self-doubt are difficult things to get past and while there are certainly things you can do to try and help with that by reassuring and agreeing boundaries (and sticking to them) you may also have to accept that what you'd like is not for her.

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By *onk and Nun OP   Couple
over a year ago

Grimsby


"Does she find females sexually attractive is the obvious question?"

She is curious but finds it hard to express it openly

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Wen I ad my 1st fmf we used an escort .I ad no imput 2 wot she looked like or size .I left it all 2 my wife .didn't want her 2 think she slimmer.sexier . Thats why uv picked her ....maybe let her choose who u play with x

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By *onk and Nun OP   Couple
over a year ago

Grimsby


"Does she actually want to get round this issue or is she content as she is?"
yes she would really like to get around it but struggles

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"I guess ultimately it comes down to her being comfortable - not nitpicking here nor criticising but I think your use of "for me" in the following phrase "throw a female in the equation for me" is quite telling.

Perhaps if your partner is picking up the vibe (consciously or sub-consciously) that meeting another woman would be "for you" that may further fuel her doubts and insecurities, rather than the experience being about meeting others "for both of you".

Talking things through together can only help, with both of you trying to understand the others perspective - perhaps something as simple as agreeing boundaries will help - maybe agreeing soft play only and no kissing for example - it may limit your options when it comes to play partners but will maybe be a good first slow step towards potentially more as she becomes more comfortable.

Insecurity and self-doubt are difficult things to get past and while there are certainly things you can do to try and help with that by reassuring and agreeing boundaries (and sticking to them) you may also have to accept that what you'd like is not for her."

This ^^^^^^ I think you have a lot to talk about

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By *errysMan
over a year ago

milton keynes and kent

The way around it is for you to enjoy being part of a cuck couple.

Or perhaps she could find a woman for you that she could trust you with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does she actually want to get round this issue or is she content as she is? yes she would really like to get around it but struggles"

Maybe let her choose the lady...let her do the chatting...possibly meet alone to start with.

Just a suggestion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess ultimately it comes down to her being comfortable - not nitpicking here nor criticising but I think your use of "for me" in the following phrase "throw a female in the equation for me" is quite telling.

Perhaps if your partner is picking up the vibe (consciously or sub-consciously) that meeting another woman would be "for you" that may further fuel her doubts and insecurities, rather than the experience being about meeting others "for both of you".

Talking things through together can only help, with both of you trying to understand the others perspective - perhaps something as simple as agreeing boundaries will help - maybe agreeing soft play only and no kissing for example - it may limit your options when it comes to play partners but will maybe be a good first slow step towards potentially more as she becomes more comfortable.

Insecurity and self-doubt are difficult things to get past and while there are certainly things you can do to try and help with that by reassuring and agreeing boundaries (and sticking to them) you may also have to accept that what you'd like is not for her."

This is 11/10 advice

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling


"I guess ultimately it comes down to her being comfortable - not nitpicking here nor criticising but I think your use of "for me" in the following phrase "throw a female in the equation for me" is quite telling.

Perhaps if your partner is picking up the vibe (consciously or sub-consciously) that meeting another woman would be "for you" that may further fuel her doubts and insecurities, rather than the experience being about meeting others "for both of you".

Talking things through together can only help, with both of you trying to understand the others perspective - perhaps something as simple as agreeing boundaries will help - maybe agreeing soft play only and no kissing for example - it may limit your options when it comes to play partners but will maybe be a good first slow step towards potentially more as she becomes more comfortable.

Insecurity and self-doubt are difficult things to get past and while there are certainly things you can do to try and help with that by reassuring and agreeing boundaries (and sticking to them) you may also have to accept that what you'd like is not for her.

This is 11/10 advice "

Couldn’t have said it better x

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I didn't get jealous as such, but what I was was insecure.

I understand swinging, I understand sex, I understand sex without love or whatever but when it came to me and I fell for my ex, I wasn't really interested in anyone else and found it frustrating that he was "enough" for me so why wasn't I "enough" for him?

You see, you can get it, you can understand the scene but when your own emotions are involved what you *know* and what you feel don't always match up.

I could have had sex with other people and had no romantic feelings towards them whatsoever, just fun. Yet when it came to him because I couldn't feel what he felt, I couldn't be 100% certain he felt EXACTLY the same as I did, I was insecure.

There are also people who get off on causing problems in relationships and I really didn't want us to have issues because of someone else.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is she knows how she feels and reacts to other men, but when it comes to you she will never truly know how you will feel and react, all she has is hope and if her hope has been blown to pieces in the past, she might not have much faith in hope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess ultimately it comes down to her being comfortable - not nitpicking here nor criticising but I think your use of "for me" in the following phrase "throw a female in the equation for me" is quite telling.

Perhaps if your partner is picking up the vibe (consciously or sub-consciously) that meeting another woman would be "for you" that may further fuel her doubts and insecurities, rather than the experience being about meeting others "for both of you".

Talking things through together can only help, with both of you trying to understand the others perspective - perhaps something as simple as agreeing boundaries will help - maybe agreeing soft play only and no kissing for example - it may limit your options when it comes to play partners but will maybe be a good first slow step towards potentially more as she becomes more comfortable.

Insecurity and self-doubt are difficult things to get past and while there are certainly things you can do to try and help with that by reassuring and agreeing boundaries (and sticking to them) you may also have to accept that what you'd like is not for her."

Great advice as always

Her x

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