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If your pet was a criminal

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What would their crime be?

My cats would be planning a heist of the next delivery of Dreamies. What the heck's in those things? They go mad for them.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

My English bull terrier would have simply been "thief"

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By *ervent_fervourMan
over a year ago

Halifax

Mewling with intent.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Pooch would have been " The Licker "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cat is a psychopath and quite likely to be a serial killer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stealer of food items left low enough, and avid snoozer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My 4 legged angel would be a stalker...she stalks all who has treats while walking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My English bull terrier would have simply been "thief"

"

Woof and its gone.

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By *ervent_fervourMan
over a year ago

Halifax


"My English bull terrier would have simply been "thief"

Woof and its gone. "

Shaggy dog story.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My cat is a psychopath and quite likely to be a serial killer "

Is your feline companion also named 'blackwidow'?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My 4 legged angel would be a stalker...she stalks all who has treats while walking."

Shameless

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By *oxyVikingCouple
over a year ago

East Anglia

Our dog would definitely be a thief. Or perhaps shoplifter? Mostly shoes, children’s toys and food

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My rabbit would be just a typical hooligan. Destroying it's own property and others

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Sock thieves... pesky little rugs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stalker. Constantly keeping an eye on me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Our dog would definitely be a thief. Or perhaps shoplifter? Mostly shoes, children’s toys and food "

Yeah, that old chestnut. You've trained it to swipe those items.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Stalker. Constantly keeping an eye on me. "

No that's me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My rabbit would be just a typical hooligan. Destroying it's own property and others "

You know what rabbits get upto. Your lucky you don't have hundreds.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sock thieves... pesky little rugs."

That's why they're missing.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

I can only say what Cuthbert the cat WON'T be......a cat burglar. Cos he huge & clumsy. Not an ounce of stealth in him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My rabbit would be just a typical hooligan. Destroying it's own property and others "

Yayyyyyy another bunnie owner xx

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Away for Christmas

What is this IF you speak of?

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Our gsd who be useless at any thing criminal.

Maybe assult and battery due to his size, he does knock people over.

Or maybe an asbo for shouting!

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By *oxyVikingCouple
over a year ago

East Anglia


"Our dog would definitely be a thief. Or perhaps shoplifter? Mostly shoes, children’s toys and food

Yeah, that old chestnut. You've trained it to swipe those items. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I can only say what Cuthbert the cat WON'T be......a cat burglar. Cos he huge & clumsy. Not an ounce of stealth in him "

My Tom is a big well lunched loafer. Ridiculous striped bushy tail. Could have been a movie star but far too lazy.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"I can only say what Cuthbert the cat WON'T be......a cat burglar. Cos he huge & clumsy. Not an ounce of stealth in him

My Tom is a big well lunched loafer. Ridiculous striped bushy tail. Could have been a movie star but far too lazy. "

Aw, I love Toms. So much more affectionate that queens - who are basically bitches

Is your Tom also a scaredy-cat? Cuthbert gets bullied by the kittens next door

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By *P994Man
over a year ago

Travelling

My two American bulldogs would be in an insane asylum, both daft beyond belief. There crime would be assault by slobber

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" Stealer of food items left low enough, and avid snoozer."

I think avid snoozing is in a pet's job description.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Throwing spiders at unsuspecting women having a wee.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Medication thieves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stalker. Constantly keeping an eye on me.

No that's me. "

I bet you didn't notice that...

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

I think shes plotting to take over the world

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Stalker. Constantly keeping an eye on me.

No that's me.

I bet you didn't notice that... "

I'm no stalker. I stand on two legs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stalker. Constantly keeping an eye on me.

No that's me.

I bet you didn't notice that...

I'm no stalker. I stand on two legs. "

Guess what. She is capable of that too..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Throwing spiders at unsuspecting women having a wee.

"

Only if they're having a wee?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I can only say what Cuthbert the cat WON'T be......a cat burglar. Cos he huge & clumsy. Not an ounce of stealth in him

My Tom is a big well lunched loafer. Ridiculous striped bushy tail. Could have been a movie star but far too lazy.

Aw, I love Toms. So much more affectionate that queens - who are basically bitches

Is your Tom also a scaredy-cat? Cuthbert gets bullied by the kittens next door "

Oh yes. His sister Tabby is the boss.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

My cat is a stalker and has a thing for boobs.....crazy little lesbian thing

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Ma last Border Collie was called Spider, he was not only a "Houdini ", but also a kleptomaniac. I got him to take most things back that he had robbed off ma neighbours in the village, but nobody accepted a garden gnome back, which I had to keep for the next 15 years

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My cat is a stalker and has a thing for boobs.....crazy little lesbian thing "

Any videos? Actually no, to Pervy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my dogs is too stupid and would get caught shop lifting in a sweet shop

The other is a master. Distraction burglary is his thing. And I think he'd never get caught

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ma last Border Collie was called Spider, he was not only a "Houdini ", but also a kleptomaniac. I got him to take most things back that he had robbed off ma neighbours in the village, but nobody accepted a garden gnome back, which I had to keep for the next 15 years "

Did he have his way with the gnome?

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

My twin bulldogs are always plotting something... their crime would be akin to gangster style dealings of bonios and kibble...

Mob bosses of biscuits if you will. They have a staffy henchman and a frenchie dogsbody (It's the little ones you have to look out for!)

It's an organisation I tell you!

If I don't check in in 24 hours send help! I'll probably have been buried in the garden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My GSD would instigate a riot, but then he'd abandon it for snoozles as the chaos unfolded

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"One of my dogs is too stupid and would get caught shop lifting in a sweet shop

The other is a master. Distraction burglary is his thing. And I think he'd never get caught "

Could he do a man a kindness and steal your assets to me for a few hours.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My GSD would instigate a riot, but then he'd abandon it for snoozles as the chaos unfolded "

Ohh, a cause trouble and watch from safety sort. Cunning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My GSD would instigate a riot, but then he'd abandon it for snoozles as the chaos unfolded

Ohh, a cause trouble and watch from safety sort. Cunning. "

That would be him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dog for letting off stink bombs.

One of my cats for being a trip hazard!

My kitten would need an asbo cos he's a little shit. Let him out and he cries to come in. Get him in and he cries to go out! Hoons round like a loon, steals things, you name it! Then falls asleep on my chest!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

My cat would be a drug dealer.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"My GSD would instigate a riot, but then he'd abandon it for snoozles as the chaos unfolded "

I don't believe you. He looks far too innocent! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My GSD would instigate a riot, but then he'd abandon it for snoozles as the chaos unfolded

I don't believe you. He looks far too innocent! X"

Oh Red, don't be fooled by his big brown eyes and cute fuzzy face! He is the master of malarkey.

He lights the fuse then off to snooze

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My dog for letting off stink bombs.

One of my cats for being a trip hazard!

My kitten would need an asbo cos he's a little shit. Let him out and he cries to come in. Get him in and he cries to go out! Hoons round like a loon, steals things, you name it! Then falls asleep on my chest!"

Ah, your kitten is no fool. Sleeping on your chest, genius.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stalking and harrassment.

She is layed with me now, she goes to the toilet with me, she is my biggest fan when I eat even though she hardly ever wants any, and she nudges and bumps into me.

If I do anything like sewing, she comes and bats things off the table

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My cat is a stalker and has a thing for boobs.....crazy little lesbian thing "

Hahahaha see my post above on her

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By *elleshellsCouple
over a year ago

North Manchester

My new puppy would be the one who dug them all out of prison, considering the size of the holes she’s made in the garden!!!!

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By *ightkitty4uWoman
over a year ago

Epsom

My two ferrets already are

ferret means theif - and yes they live up to there name, I find my belongings in the most random places. one even took the mop for a walk, god know's what he was intending to do with it, wish he'd learn how to use it instead of try and hide it

Anything that moves is far game to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As much as I love my cats, I do not think I can credit them with having the necessary intelligence to be master criminals. Henchcats maybe, but not the top cat. Dave would make a great gangster's moll though

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

Our dog would be far too lazy to do anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a beabull and a daschund the beabull more gangster like Al Capone. The daschund well he is classified as crimes against sausage products.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got a mad chicken that keeps breaking out it pen

Think she be a safe cracker

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"Ma last Border Collie was called Spider, he was not only a "Houdini ", but also a kleptomaniac. I got him to take most things back that he had robbed off ma neighbours in the village, but nobody accepted a garden gnome back, which I had to keep for the next 15 years

Did he have his way with the gnome? "

No, but think a random pigeon crapped on his head

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"Our dog would be far too lazy to do anything "

Get down Shep

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Our dog would be far too lazy to do anything

Get down Shep "

Hey, that's a line from Bottom Live1'

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"My GSD would instigate a riot, but then he'd abandon it for snoozles as the chaos unfolded

I don't believe you. He looks far too innocent! X

Oh Red, don't be fooled by his big brown eyes and cute fuzzy face! He is the master of malarkey.

He lights the fuse then off to snooze "

I'm not having it, Dreavus. He's adorable!!!!!!!

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

My chocolate lab is gorgeous but a total idiot. He chews and destroys things that I need to walk him - like my wellies (he’s ‘customised’ the tops - but recently chewed a bloody big hole near the bottom too) - all insoles on every shoe and boot I own - the list is endless.

I think he’d be arrested for trying to break into a prison - because he really is an idiot!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"What would their crime be?

My cats would be planning a heist of the next delivery of Dreamies. What the heck's in those things? They go mad for them. "

Rolling in fix sh1t and if it's not that it's various other dead animals !

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By *bi_AstrayTV/TS
over a year ago

Plymouth

Nothing much apart from the occasional bit of thievery, my staffy is just the stereotypical lovable rogue...

Just turned 14 and off to the vet tomorrow, he's been puking all over the house today

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"What would their crime be?

My cats would be planning a heist of the next delivery of Dreamies. What the heck's in those things? They go mad for them.

Rolling in fix sh1t and if it's not that it's various other dead animals !"

*fox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/02/21 10:21:01]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cat burglar

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