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Dreadful chat up lines (post your worst)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hoping this may be a giggle. Let me set the scene:

You spy a hot Women/man at the bar and move in to engage them in conversation. What would your opener be, funnier the better. I'll start off:

I spot a sexy busty lady at the bar. I wait beside her and order a pear cider. When it's poured and placed in front of me I say. 'It seems we share something in common. I've got a nice pair too.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does she then turn and ask if you have a time machine that's transported you back to the 70s?

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘Madam; Might I entreat thee for a fuck?’

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Does she then turn and ask if you have a time machine that's transported you back to the 70s?"

Big phat raspberry in your general direction madam.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My one attempt was I said to a woman who was eating an apple that she must have good bowel movement, she was not impressed, but she laughed Eventually.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"‘Madam; Might I entreat thee for a fuck?’ "

Have you photoshoped your pecs? That's just intimidating.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"‘Madam; Might I entreat thee for a fuck?’

Have you photoshoped your pecs? That's just intimidating. "

No, they’re real - and I can bounce them in time to music (whilst simultaneously uttering dreadful chat up lines)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"‘Madam; Might I entreat thee for a fuck?’

Have you photoshoped your pecs? That's just intimidating.

No, they’re real - and I can bounce them in time to music (whilst simultaneously uttering dreadful chat up lines) "

So, 'Right said Fred karaoke' whilst flexing left then right in time to the beat. Guaranteed success!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My one attempt was I said to a woman who was eating an apple that she must have good bowel movement, she was not impressed, but she laughed Eventually."

Unusual, but quirky can work.

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By *andiniMan
over a year ago

dorchester

Do you like whales?..... fancy a humpback at mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got asked this last week in a message

If covid doesn't take you out can I

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Got asked this last week in a message

If covid doesn't take you out can I

"

Mmmm, yeah. At least its a current affairs topic. But nah.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Do you like whales?..... fancy a humpback at mine. "

Perhaps after enough tipples I'd try that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"‘Madam; Might I entreat thee for a fuck?’

Have you photoshoped your pecs? That's just intimidating.

No, they’re real - and I can bounce them in time to music (whilst simultaneously uttering dreadful chat up lines) "

Video or didn't happen!

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