FabSwingers.com forum: Is an orgasm needed for a great experience?

By *enks OP Man
over a year ago

hereford

So I'm talking about sex with a partner or others and not bondage/humiliation as that can be part of that scene.

I do enjoy achieving orgasm (who would not) but I can still enjoy a sexual experience without achieving orgasm, I dont generally have any issues becoming aroused and the times I have not achieved orgasm I have actively taken part but some times despite a long session I have not cum but I dont feel I have been left out or missed out, there is one condition to my enjoyment and that is that the lady concerned must have orgasmed and preferably more than once.

I think its fair to say I have never suffered from premature ejaculation, I have always cum with a partner so I guess something may be missing occasionally when with a stranger but not always so cannot say what.

I guess the ladies pleasure is more important to me than my orgasm, I enjoy the process of bringing a woman to orgasm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm with you on that one, on more than one occasion I've bought the woman to orgasm and then I've stopped as I'm satisfied at just that.

It can however give the woman a bit of a complex. but as soon as I explain I'm happy to not cum, and I could of if I wanted to but held back there more than happy to receive all the pleasure lol

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"The lady must have orgasmed".

So for you, your enjoyment is based on her orgasming. Maybe that's where her pleasure lies - your orgasm. I don't think an orgasm is essential for either me or the person I'm with, I enjoy the journey (other cliched statements are available). Having typed that, it doesn't take much for me to orgasm and now I'm at the point where I've typed orgasm too often and it looks weird.

Anyway, no I don't think an orgasm is essential for either of us, as long as we both enjoy it and are smiling, I'm happy. Too much emphasis is placed on the man's act being this great big climax of it all, when really, it shouldn't be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you take the pressure off yourself but put it on the woman.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

No. It’s not needed but it it good

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By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago

A little village

Not necessarily... as long as we’re both having fun

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Orgasm for me isn't easy so it can't be the "be all and end all".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all. Jen has orgasamed where i have not. I get my enjoyment from seeing her enjoying the play. I dont have to cum to enjoy the sex.

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By *enks OP Man
over a year ago

hereford

"So you take the pressure off yourself but put it on the woman."

Sorry but no pressure on the woman at all, have not met one yet who has not although it can take some time and totally open to pointers as to any particular stimulation may help. I guess I have been lucky with the ladies/couples I have met so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It shouldn't be expected on either side, as it can lead to feelings of disappointment or inadequacy. Just have fun, and if it happens then that's a bonus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

80% or more of the meets I've had over the years I haven't had an orgasm. I struggle due to medication and make this clear before we meet.

One lady I didn't mention it to very early on in my time here and she was a bit upset about it as she thought it was because I didn't fancy her etc. Hence why I now highlight it.

Doesn't reduce the amount of enjoyment I get from sex though, it's nice when it happens but not needed to fully enjoy it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t have to cum to enjoy the sex but I usually do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, orgasm isn't that important. For me or for them. Its super nice if it happens. Sometimes I can get frustrated being on the edge of one and realise I'm not going to tip over it. Most of the time I'll enjoy the fuckery for simply that. I never worry if a guy doesn't come, its rarely because of me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I want an orgasm I have a wank. Sex meets no orgasm. Ever.

If they want a woman that does, there's millions of others he can meet.

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By *oingallknightMan
over a year ago

norwich

Not always, I was invited to a gang any with a smoking hot couple, didn’t cum because I’d blatantly d*unk too much and just “went all knight” so they invited me back for a one on one with the hotwife. Bonus or what!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you take the pressure off yourself but put it on the woman.

No pointers needed, I don't reach orgasm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah, orgasm isn't that important. For me or for them. Its super nice if it happens. Sometimes I can get frustrated being on the edge of one and realise I'm not going to tip over it. Most of the time I'll enjoy the fuckery for simply that. I never worry if a guy doesn't come, its rarely because of me

This is the best attitude. More often than not if I didn't cum in the past it was due to nerves or pressure, not that I've not found my partner attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely orgasm on first meets but mostly have a great time. I'd be really turned off if my meet partner made it his mission to make me orgasm, that's too much pressure. If they're so insecure that me not having an orgasm dents their pride I'd really rather not bother. If he doesn't come it's not an issue. One of the most fun meets I ever had neither of us orgasmed and we fell off the bed twice!

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I orgasm very easily, so if I don’t have at least one on a meet it leaves me upset and feeling used. I’ve never had enjoyable sex without an orgasm, because if I’m enjoying it I’ll definitely have an orgasm. So if I don’t have one, or have to do it myself because the person I’m with can’t be bothered, I don’t meet that person again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In recreational sex, orgasm is not a "goal", if it happens it happens.

I enjoy the intimacy, and often will deliberately avoid an orgasm to prolong the experience.

It happens a timeout for a cup of tea and a chat at a natural pause can add to the experience

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

It’s not sex if you both don’t cum

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"It’s not sex if you both don’t cum

Crap, I've not had much sex then

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"It’s not sex if you both don’t cum

Crap, I've not had much sex then

That right, you haven’t

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"It’s not sex if you both don’t cum

Crap, I've not had much sex then

That right, you haven’t

If you can make me cum, you'll win a prize

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not essential for a good experience overall but I would personally feel a little disappointed

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"It’s not sex if you both don’t cum

Crap, I've not had much sex then

That right, you haven’t

If you can make me cum, you'll win a prize

A squirt in the face?

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Nope. Sometimes more adventurous things make having an orgasm harder but they're so much fun. Sometimes quickies or sneaky public fun means no orgasm but lots of fun. Sometimes it just doesn't happen. Personally with a regular sexual partner I enjoy a mix of some sessions that are fun but orgasms are less likely and other sessions where we stick to stuff that's very likely to get me off. Sometimes we'll do both in the same day. Usually an itial more experimental fuck followed by sex later with more tried and tested stuff

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

Not at all , it's the icing on the cake but a detail in the grand scheme for me .

I don't always cum but am still having a ball and the last thing I want is to be put under pressure and having to fake it so "he" doesn't feel bad.

It's a body not a machine and I'm of the thought that we should concentrate on enjoying each other rather than keeping counts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really is not the be all and end all about sex.

If I cum that’s great but it can still be equally great if I don’t.

I also would not take offence or be disappointed if a guy didn’t cum. As long as you have both had a good time & got that exhausted warm fuzzy feeling afterwards all is good in my book.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've thought deeply about this for several days now, and have concluded that, given my recent sexual experiences have all been solo affairs, orgasm is indeed the goal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t need to. But more often than not I do.

If I can see her having pleasure, that’s sometimes enough.

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By *omesticated_VixenWoman
over a year ago

sw London

Sex is more than just orgasms although I never say no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't need to climax everytime and it most certainly doesn't mean that I haven’t enjoyed the fun.

Sometimes I don't even want or need to feel penetration or oral to be satisfied. I can enjoy giving my partner sexual fulfillment in all manor of ways, which stimulates all of my own senses and my mind without the need to feel anything inside me. Because at that time that's my decision and choice and fulfills a kink for me.

Her x

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I never chase orgasms for me or him, we just bask in each others pleasure, enjoying the time we have together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never chase orgasms for me or him, we just bask in each others pleasure, enjoying the time we have together"

That is a beautiful way to describe it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/03/21 13:38:42]

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

No not at all. I've had amazing sex that I just couldn't cum from, and I'm not going to hold it against anyone for something that just happens sometimes.

LvM

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By *rive u crazyMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I wouldn't say that the travel is more important than the destination but I enjoy all the time spent together not just the orgasms. Then, her orgasms are more important than mine, even better if loud and spectacular

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While I wouldn't say it was needed, I do enjoy a partner's orgasm. But I also do enjoy the journey to get to that point and even if it doesn't happen, the entire experience of exploring and pleasuring each other is as much fun.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I think that they key point is communication. There’s no ‘one size fits all’ answer (as there never is regarding people), so it’s just a case of talking about it and expressing your physical wants and needs.

In my experience, I think that a key point is personal ownership. If a partner decides that your orgasm isn’t important, that’s where disappointment lies, if you decide that your orgasm isn’t going to happen or isn’t important, then you focus on other aspects.

It’s all about expectations and personal expression.

If I was with someone who didn’t care enough to want me to orgasm, then it’s probably going to be disappointing anyway, even if I did

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

I don't mind. Its nice to cum but I wouldn't think a good session was any less good just because of that, so long as we both enjoyed it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't need to climax everytime and it most certainly doesn't mean that I haven’t enjoyed the fun.

Her x"

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