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inalienable facts

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

When driving if a bird comes too close to the window screen you duck down!

Know any more?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed

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By *andG4moreCouple
over a year ago

Dunbartonshire


"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed "

lmao its like they have a sixth sense.

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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed "

Used to hurry ours over to Sunday School at the chapel across the road, perform the crippled, three-legged with anticipation run back, and dive between the wife's thighs like a salmon into an otter's pocket! We'd get an hour to shag and scream ourselves silly... happy days (c;

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you spoon feed a baby you can't help opening your own mouth with each spoonful too.

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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

When 2 cars approach one-another from opposite directions on a narrow lane, they shall always meet at the point in the road already occupied by a cyclist...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed

lmao its like they have a sixth sense."

... but now I'm single they would snore till 12 ..... if I let em

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when people are looking at the sky u cant help look up yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed

lmao its like they have a sixth sense.

... but now I'm single they would snore till 12 ..... if I let em "

Saying, "ohhhh,owww" never lessens the pain of a kid falling flat on its face"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Refusing a plastic bag to save the environment usually means you drop what you bought trying to open car door!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

rocking a supermarket trolley as if you a pram........ been there done that !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The time available to complete the task in hand is exactly half the length of time required .... and the tools and materials purchased for said task have always disappeared from that safe place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"rocking a supermarket trolley as if you a pram........ been there done that !! "

"As if you have a pram"

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By *gentprovocateurWoman
over a year ago

leeds

being surprised again when the imps at ikea have deliberately left out the tiny but vital part!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

If you put 100 people individually on their own with a tea cozy and left them around 75 will put it on their head

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By *smCouple
over a year ago

Liskeard

if a toddler hands you a toy phone.. you pretend to answer it.. no matter where you are..

if you plan on having a quiet lazy day , people that you havent seen in ages will phone or call round ...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

When waiting an absolute fooking age for a bus - light a cigarette! This always brings at least 3 buses round the corner...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When waiting an absolute fooking age for a bus - light a cigarette! This always brings at least 3 buses round the corner...

"

...and if you light it within the confines of the bus shelter you are sure of getting a seat as all the non-smokers mutter and whine as they move out of the shelter leaving you first in the queue.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

ten minutes in the dentist's chair = ten seconds in your lovers arms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you tie a piece of toast, buttered side up, on the back of a cat... It'll never hit the ground...;-)

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

When left alone with a tea cosy, the temptation to put it on your head is always too hard to resist

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"If you put 100 people individually on their own with a tea cozy and left them around 75 will put it on their head"

When posting humorous comments on forums, some bastard will always beat you to the punch

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed

Used to hurry ours over to Sunday School at the chapel across the road, perform the crippled, three-legged with anticipation run back, and dive between the wife's thighs like a salmon into an otter's pocket! We'd get an hour to shag and scream ourselves silly... happy days (c;"

You do realise that the baby Jesus knew all about your sordid little scheme and was not the least bit pleased

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont you hate modern technology, especially the weather forecast being bloody accurate!

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London


"If you put 100 people individually on their own with a tea cozy and left them around 75 will put it on their head

When posting humorous comments on forums, some bastard will always beat you to the punch "

Didn't realise it was always

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By *rs and mr sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

Boldon


"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed

Used to hurry ours over to Sunday School at the chapel across the road, perform the crippled, three-legged with anticipation run back, and dive between the wife's thighs like a salmon into an otter's pocket! We'd get an hour to shag and scream ourselves silly... happy days (c;

You do realise that the baby Jesus knew all about your sordid little scheme and was not the least bit pleased"

Noooooo, it was all a ploy by the churches - allow the parents time for nookie meant that there would be more kids made to increase the numbers in the sunday school!!!!

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY


"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed

Used to hurry ours over to Sunday School at the chapel across the road, perform the crippled, three-legged with anticipation run back, and dive between the wife's thighs like a salmon into an otter's pocket! We'd get an hour to shag and scream ourselves silly... happy days (c;

You do realise that the baby Jesus knew all about your sordid little scheme and was not the least bit pleased

Noooooo, it was all a ploy by the churches - allow the parents time for nookie meant that there would be more kids made to increase the numbers in the sunday school!!!! "

oiiii !!!!!! i just told you that

hate fast typers

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"

oiiii !!!!!! i just told you that

hate fast typers "

see my comment about 6 posts ago

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

If you decide to answer the door it was the energy company bastards. If you don't open the door it was George Clooney with your lottery win.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"If you put 100 people individually on their own with a tea cozy and left them around 75 will put it on their head

When posting humorous comments on forums, some bastard will always beat you to the punch "

Great minds think alike, that one always has me in stitches

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By *dinMan
over a year ago

Nr Biggleswade

No matter how many times you tap your winkle the last drop goes inside your pants and down your leg

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By *dinMan
over a year ago

Nr Biggleswade


"If you decide to answer the door it was the energy company bastards. If you don't open the door it was George Clooney with your lottery win."

Wouldn't they need to get past your rabid bears guarding your moat Granny ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When driving if a bird comes too close to the window screen you duck down!

Know any more?

'Get off the pavement and back on the road' she must have caught my eye!

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By *oonytoonMan
over a year ago

derby

When dropping something the chance of breakage is directly relative to cost or sentimental value of said item

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as soon as you organise friend round for a barbie it will rain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

During a family meal the kids will want something from the kitchen ten seconds after you've sat down and started eating.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"If you decide to answer the door it was the energy company bastards. If you don't open the door it was George Clooney with your lottery win.

Wouldn't they need to get past your rabid bears guarding your moat Granny ?

"

I'd give you the day off dear....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When you spoon feed a baby you can't help opening your own mouth with each spoonful too. "

Oh yeah do this too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That little bit of fluff on the floor was a HUGE spider when you saw it out of the corner of your eye.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smile and the world stands with you.

Fart and you stand alone

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

You always open your mouth to put mascara on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Smile and the world stands with you.

Fart and you stand alone "

*that should be smiles with you, not stand with you*

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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"On Sunday mornings "that look" is immediately rewarded with the kids waking up and jumping on your bed

Used to hurry ours over to Sunday School at the chapel across the road, perform the crippled, three-legged with anticipation run back, and dive between the wife's thighs like a salmon into an otter's pocket! We'd get an hour to shag and scream ourselves silly... happy days (c;

You do realise that the baby Jesus knew all about your sordid little scheme and was not the least bit pleased"

I always figured he'd put the chapel there 'cos he he liked to watch

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