FabSwingers.com forum: Absorbing negative thoughts....

By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

we still have a choice not to do that.

Far from trying to create a "happy clappy" false impression, I think it is important to stay positive and respond to other people's sadness with comforting and encouraging words rather than allowing ourselves to be dragged down further.

I know this does not work for everybody, nor do I want to deny that some people are having an incredibly tough time right now.

All I am saying is... if we have positive energy left in us... we could try spreading it a little?

Thoughts?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

I am annoyingly happy most of the time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I am annoyingly happy most of the time

There's always the one

Welcome

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I think we need nudging to firstly be aware we are thinking negatively.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I think we need nudging to firstly be aware we are thinking negatively.

Good point, sometimes we are not even aware of it! How do we do that?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"I am annoyingly happy most of the time

There's always the one

Welcome

But I do spread my positivity whether they want it or not

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"we still have a choice not to do that.

I know this does not work for everybody, nor do I want to deny that some people are having an incredibly tough time right now.

All I am saying is... if we have positive energy left in us... we could try spreading it a little?

Thoughts?

You can acknowledge sadness without being dragged down by it. Sometimes people don't want words of comfort, they want someone to just say "I know, it's crap isn't it"

I do understand what you're saying though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I think we need nudging to firstly be aware we are thinking negatively.

Good point, sometimes we are not even aware of it! How do we do that? "

Inspirational quotes on the wall or post it notes?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's a difficult balance. Being aware and not dismissing real problems, being empathetic, but not being sucked into it and emotionally incapacitated yourself.

I try to take time every day to remind myself of the positives. I've got a daily alarm in my phone. It helps.

I focus on the positive in the negative. I'm listening to someone, I'm being there, I'm hopefully being part of the solution. Negative news, I'm empowering myself to make informed choices. Etc.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Remaining positive in the face of relentless negativity is far more difficult than the other way round. A key part of my decision to retire early was the toxicity of my work environment due to negative colleagues.

All you can do is be as positive as possible, as empathetic as possible and take no sh*t.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can acknowledge sadness without being dragged down by it. Sometimes people don't want words of comfort, they want someone to just say "I know, it's crap isn't it"

I do understand what you're saying though "

The majority of moaners just want to moan.

They don't want a solution or positive quotes

We can choose to remove ourselves away from Negative Nancy types- it's a lot simpler than trying to change who they are.

I like to give people a chance - we all have our bad days - but if it's a constant draining tirade of negativity then I have to get away.

The same applies to people that are fake positive- that's sometimes worse!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread