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Playing on first meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Following on from another thread out of interest how many couples are happy to play on the first meet without spending time conversing ? We’re not knocking that but sometimes we feel if all we want to do is drink and chit chat we can just nip down to the local.

We travel about an hour to go to a club so would rather play to make the most out of it particularly as we only go monthly.

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By *J swingCouple
over a year ago

North

If we meet and get on we play, never just turn up at a meet and hit the bedroom ,we like to have the time to social 1st.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always have sex on a first meet, but usually after a chat, drinks, food, etc. I have had sex with people within minutes of meeting them for the first time but that's the exception rather than the rule xx

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

There’s no right or wrong way if it works for you then great.For us we are not going to have sex just for the sake of it we have to feel comfortable and enjoy there company and there has to be a 4 way attraction and not just physically.

We have found in the past having sex with couples we have got to know and understand the dynamics of there relationship a much better experience than just getting down to it with strangers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve tried the play with strangers thing, it doesn’t suit me x I like to have a social meet. Then if it goes well we’d meet again on a different date to play. We like to get to know each other build up intensity and play multiple times. The social side is just as important to us as playing x helps me relax more which makes the sex even better. xx but that’s just me xx

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

We always have a no play social. I (Lily) can get anxious or feel under pressure if I have to play when meeting someone new. We like to talk to the person, get to know them a bit and see if there is a connection. We then like to go home and discuss if they are right for us and us for them. We have chatted and played before and I am never as relaxed or have as much fun. This is just us though, others are of course different.

Lily

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"Following on from another thread out of interest how many couples are happy to play on the first meet without spending time conversing ? We’re not knocking that but sometimes we feel if all we want to do is drink and chit chat we can just nip down to the local.

We travel about an hour to go to a club so would rather play to make the most out of it particularly as we only go monthly. "

We would rarely play on the first meet only a few times over the years and only after dialog getting to know them. People who want to meet and play doesn't do anything for us and usually a disappointment. Our strategy is get to know people maybe meet for a drink and then a meal and if we are getting on progress from there, in our experience it makes for much better sexual experience.

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By *on-snowedMan
over a year ago

harlow

Big fantasy of mine is to do that.

No small talk, just agreed sex if you like the look of them.

Itll never happen as I'm not that confident.

But the whole "woman takes the delivery guy" thing has always been a massive turn on.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I'm happy to play on a first meet if everyone is comfortable but don't mind social to get to know someone in person first

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By *assunachWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere over the rainbow...

I’m happy to play on a first meet if there’s chemistry. I find it really off putting if a guy or couple is too pushy, so it’s not always the case. I definitely decide in the moment depending on the chemistry and connection.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Must admit some of my social meets have ended up in bed but it was never been my initial intentions. We are all adults so why waste time going back home to arrange another meet when the opportunity to get physical is there at that moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always chat à few weeks first, then organise a dinner and chat with the agreement that if we click or have a sexual connection, then the guy will ask for my underwear, if I hand them over we will have sex, if I do t it's because I have not felt the connection and we agree no pressure.. I have to say I am usually good at knowing what I want before the dinner and only a couple of times walked away.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"Must admit some of my social meets have ended up in bed but it was never been my initial intentions. We are all adults so why waste time going back home to arrange another meet when the opportunity to get physical is there at that moment."
Can totally understand that as your a single women but as a couple we have to make sure everyone is on same page and all 4 of us are attracted to each other which probably takes more than 1 social.

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"Must admit some of my social meets have ended up in bed but it was never been my initial intentions. We are all adults so why waste time going back home to arrange another meet when the opportunity to get physical is there at that moment."

Interesting point but if you go home and arrange another meet then there is a genuine connection and a desire that will potentially enhance the experience rather than "Lets just fuck" and get it over with an move on to the next. But that is what many are looking for and everyone has their own preferences. One of the interesting things about the scene is the diversity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s no right or wrong way if it works for you then great.For us we are not going to have sex just for the sake of it we have to feel comfortable and enjoy there company and there has to be a 4 way attraction and not just physically.

We have found in the past having sex with couples we have got to know and understand the dynamics of there relationship a much better experience than just getting down to it with strangers."

This totally agree with you there guys.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Must admit some of my social meets have ended up in bed but it was never been my initial intentions. We are all adults so why waste time going back home to arrange another meet when the opportunity to get physical is there at that moment."

Our sentiments exactly.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Personally, I insist on a social first and will never play on the same day, I’ll go away and arrange a play meet another time. Doing it that way avoids the other person/people being able to pressure me. If someone expected play to be a possibility straight after the social, I wouldn’t agree to the social. Besides, I like the anticipation ahead of the meet proper. I wouldn’t get that if it was straight after the social.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"Must admit some of my social meets have ended up in bed but it was never been my initial intentions. We are all adults so why waste time going back home to arrange another meet when the opportunity to get physical is there at that moment.

Interesting point but if you go home and arrange another meet then there is a genuine connection and a desire that will potentially enhance the experience rather than "Lets just fuck" and get it over with an move on to the next. But that is what many are looking for and everyone has their own preferences. One of the interesting things about the scene is the diversity "
spontanious sex can be really exciting and planned sex is sometimes more staged.

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"Must admit some of my social meets have ended up in bed but it was never been my initial intentions. We are all adults so why waste time going back home to arrange another meet when the opportunity to get physical is there at that moment.

Interesting point but if you go home and arrange another meet then there is a genuine connection and a desire that will potentially enhance the experience rather than "Lets just fuck" and get it over with an move on to the next. But that is what many are looking for and everyone has their own preferences. One of the interesting things about the scene is the diversity spontanious sex can be really exciting and planned sex is sometimes more staged."

Already having a rapport developed with with others does allow for a lot more spontaneity and definitely not staged. Scenario. 3rd meeting with a couple in a pub few drinks nice meal, partner slips her hand between the other ladies legs under the table. Such spontaneity couldn't even be conceived on first meeting - so from our point building a rapport definitely leads to a better and more fulfilling experiences.

As said it is all down to personal choice in the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s no right or wrong way if it works for you then great.For us we are not going to have sex just for the sake of it we have to feel comfortable and enjoy there company and there has to be a 4 way attraction and not just physically.

We have found in the past having sex with couples we have got to know and understand the dynamics of there relationship a much better experience than just getting down to it with strangers."

Exactly as above. Cold sex is not for us. But there are loads who will play on first meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally, I insist on a social first and will never play on the same day, I’ll go away and arrange a play meet another time. Doing it that way avoids the other person/people being able to pressure me. If someone expected play to be a possibility straight after the social, I wouldn’t agree to the social. Besides, I like the anticipation ahead of the meet proper. I wouldn’t get that if it was straight after the social."

This is what we will be doing. Social first. Then after get home and chat to see if we are both happy to play. Neither of us is taking one for the team ever!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Must admit some of my social meets have ended up in bed but it was never been my initial intentions. We are all adults so why waste time going back home to arrange another meet when the opportunity to get physical is there at that moment."

With a cpl it is also about not taking one for the team just to get a fuck. Nothing worse than fucking someone you are not attracted to just so your partner gets a fuck.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"There’s no right or wrong way if it works for you then great.For us we are not going to have sex just for the sake of it we have to feel comfortable and enjoy there company and there has to be a 4 way attraction and not just physically.

We have found in the past having sex with couples we have got to know and understand the dynamics of there relationship a much better experience than just getting down to it with strangers.

Exactly as above. Cold sex is not for us. But there are loads who will play on first meet. "

Never had cold sex on a first meet only very hot sex.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

The very least we'd want is a chat. There has to be chemistry there. It may only take a few minutes to work out if it is or not, but it does have to be there.

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By *wistedbambi69Woman
over a year ago

Somerset


"I’ve tried the play with strangers thing, it doesn’t suit me x I like to have a social meet. Then if it goes well we’d meet again on a different date to play. We like to get to know each other build up intensity and play multiple times. The social side is just as important to us as playing x helps me relax more which makes the sex even better. xx but that’s just me xx "

This is exactly what I would have written. I have tried to play with strangers, but it doesn't work for me either x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Majority of the time we prefer a social first but on the odd occasion we have met a guy without a social first.

It has felt naughty, we enjoyed, the guy enjoyed and that was the whole point of it.

Her x

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By *on-snowedMan
over a year ago

harlow


"Majority of the time we prefer a social first but on the odd occasion we have met a guy without a social first.

It has felt naughty, we enjoyed, the guy enjoyed and that was the whole point of it.

Her x"

Nice to know the fantasy can be real and come true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s no right or wrong way if it works for you then great.For us we are not going to have sex just for the sake of it we have to feel comfortable and enjoy there company and there has to be a 4 way attraction and not just physically.

We have found in the past having sex with couples we have got to know and understand the dynamics of there relationship a much better experience than just getting down to it with strangers.

Exactly as above. Cold sex is not for us. But there are loads who will play on first meet.

Never had cold sex on a first meet only very hot sex."

Without chemistry or attraction it is just cold.

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

I've done both. When it's been play on the first meet though we've spoken a lot before so it's clear there is mutual attraction.

But mainly I much prefer a social meet first! It builds it up a little too if there is flirting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s no right or wrong way if it works for you then great.For us we are not going to have sex just for the sake of it we have to feel comfortable and enjoy there company and there has to be a 4 way attraction and not just physically.

We have found in the past having sex with couples we have got to know and understand the dynamics of there relationship a much better experience than just getting down to it with strangers.

Exactly as above. Cold sex is not for us. But there are loads who will play on first meet.

Never had cold sex on a first meet only very hot sex.

Without chemistry or attraction it is just cold. "

Sometimes things work others they don’t, but why come here if you meet for a coffee first? Is that not why people join here because we don’t want the coffee?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have played on a first meet, but there has been socialising first.

I want to have a drink and a chat to make sure the chemistry is there and there are no obvious creepy vibes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its good yo talk, whilst playing on a first meet...

It might even lead to a second meet, then a third meet, then....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also prefer a social, no expectations meet because I have met up with people after chatting for a while, and there's been no connection. And it's easier to go our separate ways after a drink, than to say "sorry but I'm not feeling this..." when they are actually in my house and potentially expecting sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also prefer a social, no expectations meet because I have met up with people after chatting for a while, and there's been no connection. And it's easier to go our separate ways after a drink, than to say "sorry but I'm not feeling this..." when they are actually in my house and potentially expecting sex. "

That’s just Pof then? A drink then sex if you feel the spark or drink a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also prefer a social, no expectations meet because I have met up with people after chatting for a while, and there's been no connection. And it's easier to go our separate ways after a drink, than to say "sorry but I'm not feeling this..." when they are actually in my house and potentially expecting sex.

That’s just Pof then? A drink then sex if you feel the spark or drink a lot. "

I don't think so. I think that socialising is a very normal part of swinging. I also think that, as a single woman, I have to take certain precautions for my safety. A social meet first allows for that - if all goes well then we have fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also prefer a social, no expectations meet because I have met up with people after chatting for a while, and there's been no connection. And it's easier to go our separate ways after a drink, than to say "sorry but I'm not feeling this..." when they are actually in my house and potentially expecting sex.

That’s just Pof then? A drink then sex if you feel the spark or drink a lot.

I don't think so. I think that socialising is a very normal part of swinging. I also think that, as a single woman, I have to take certain precautions for my safety. A social meet first allows for that - if all goes well then we have fun."

Socialising is a normal part of life. I’m just wondering what would be different on a dating site? I don’t want to date so on here that isn’t a thing or is it?

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…


"I also prefer a social, no expectations meet because I have met up with people after chatting for a while, and there's been no connection. And it's easier to go our separate ways after a drink, than to say "sorry but I'm not feeling this..." when they are actually in my house and potentially expecting sex.

That’s just Pof then? A drink then sex if you feel the spark or drink a lot.

I don't think so. I think that socialising is a very normal part of swinging. I also think that, as a single woman, I have to take certain precautions for my safety. A social meet first allows for that - if all goes well then we have fun.

Socialising is a normal part of life. I’m just wondering what would be different on a dating site? I don’t want to date so on here that isn’t a thing or is it?"

I wouln't say this is a datng site and I wouldn't class first meets as dates. I agree with the above comment that a first meet is also for safety reasons. If you agree to meet the first time at your house then anything can potentially happen. On the forums there's loads of horror stories from both women & males.

I think if you are coming on this site thinking it's a sex site you may be disappointed as it's a swingers site and the social side is a big part of this. Just because you sign up that doesn't mean there's a queue of ladies waiting with their legs open waiting or a FAF message to agree to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also prefer a social, no expectations meet because I have met up with people after chatting for a while, and there's been no connection. And it's easier to go our separate ways after a drink, than to say "sorry but I'm not feeling this..." when they are actually in my house and potentially expecting sex.

That’s just Pof then? A drink then sex if you feel the spark or drink a lot.

I don't think so. I think that socialising is a very normal part of swinging. I also think that, as a single woman, I have to take certain precautions for my safety. A social meet first allows for that - if all goes well then we have fun.

Socialising is a normal part of life. I’m just wondering what would be different on a dating site? I don’t want to date so on here that isn’t a thing or is it?

I wouln't say this is a datng site and I wouldn't class first meets as dates. I agree with the above comment that a first meet is also for safety reasons. If you agree to meet the first time at your house then anything can potentially happen. On the forums there's loads of horror stories from both women & males.

I think if you are coming on this site thinking it's a sex site you may be disappointed as it's a swingers site and the social side is a big part of this. Just because you sign up that doesn't mean there's a queue of ladies waiting with their legs open waiting or a FAF message to agree to "
. You wrote just what I was thinking

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…


"I also prefer a social, no expectations meet because I have met up with people after chatting for a while, and there's been no connection. And it's easier to go our separate ways after a drink, than to say "sorry but I'm not feeling this..." when they are actually in my house and potentially expecting sex.

That’s just Pof then? A drink then sex if you feel the spark or drink a lot.

I don't think so. I think that socialising is a very normal part of swinging. I also think that, as a single woman, I have to take certain precautions for my safety. A social meet first allows for that - if all goes well then we have fun.

Socialising is a normal part of life. I’m just wondering what would be different on a dating site? I don’t want to date so on here that isn’t a thing or is it?

I wouln't say this is a datng site and I wouldn't class first meets as dates. I agree with the above comment that a first meet is also for safety reasons. If you agree to meet the first time at your house then anything can potentially happen. On the forums there's loads of horror stories from both women & males.

I think if you are coming on this site thinking it's a sex site you may be disappointed as it's a swingers site and the social side is a big part of this. Just because you sign up that doesn't mean there's a queue of ladies waiting with their legs open waiting or a FAF message to agree to . You wrote just what I was thinking "

Great minds eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also prefer a social, no expectations meet because I have met up with people after chatting for a while, and there's been no connection. And it's easier to go our separate ways after a drink, than to say "sorry but I'm not feeling this..." when they are actually in my house and potentially expecting sex.

That’s just Pof then? A drink then sex if you feel the spark or drink a lot.

I don't think so. I think that socialising is a very normal part of swinging. I also think that, as a single woman, I have to take certain precautions for my safety. A social meet first allows for that - if all goes well then we have fun.

Socialising is a normal part of life. I’m just wondering what would be different on a dating site? I don’t want to date so on here that isn’t a thing or is it?

I wouln't say this is a datng site and I wouldn't class first meets as dates. I agree with the above comment that a first meet is also for safety reasons. If you agree to meet the first time at your house then anything can potentially happen. On the forums there's loads of horror stories from both women & males.

I think if you are coming on this site thinking it's a sex site you may be disappointed as it's a swingers site and the social side is a big part of this. Just because you sign up that doesn't mean there's a queue of ladies waiting with their legs open waiting or a FAF message to agree to "

It’s certainly not a sex site. I enjoy the chat on here, I’m just saying it’s whatever people want it to be for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also prefer a social, no expectations meet because I have met up with people after chatting for a while, and there's been no connection. And it's easier to go our separate ways after a drink, than to say "sorry but I'm not feeling this..." when they are actually in my house and potentially expecting sex.

That’s just Pof then? A drink then sex if you feel the spark or drink a lot.

I don't think so. I think that socialising is a very normal part of swinging. I also think that, as a single woman, I have to take certain precautions for my safety. A social meet first allows for that - if all goes well then we have fun.

Socialising is a normal part of life. I’m just wondering what would be different on a dating site? I don’t want to date so on here that isn’t a thing or is it?"

For me, when I was on a dating site, I was looking for a potential long term relationship. I wasn't focused so much on the immediate attraction and chemistry, I was looking at things like overall compatibility. And I would often go on at least three or four dates with a guy before any sex stuff happened.

On here, I'm not looking for someone to date, I'm looking for someone to have sexual fun with. But that's not just *anyone*. The chemistry has to be there and I have to feel safe and comfortable with them, which is where the social meet comes in.

Again, speaking just for me, the difference between this site and a dating site about long term goals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also prefer a social, no expectations meet because I have met up with people after chatting for a while, and there's been no connection. And it's easier to go our separate ways after a drink, than to say "sorry but I'm not feeling this..." when they are actually in my house and potentially expecting sex.

That’s just Pof then? A drink then sex if you feel the spark or drink a lot.

I don't think so. I think that socialising is a very normal part of swinging. I also think that, as a single woman, I have to take certain precautions for my safety. A social meet first allows for that - if all goes well then we have fun.

Socialising is a normal part of life. I’m just wondering what would be different on a dating site? I don’t want to date so on here that isn’t a thing or is it?

For me, when I was on a dating site, I was looking for a potential long term relationship. I wasn't focused so much on the immediate attraction and chemistry, I was looking at things like overall compatibility. And I would often go on at least three or four dates with a guy before any sex stuff happened.

On here, I'm not looking for someone to date, I'm looking for someone to have sexual fun with. But that's not just *anyone*. The chemistry has to be there and I have to feel safe and comfortable with them, which is where the social meet comes in.

Again, speaking just for me, the difference between this site and a dating site about long term goals. "

Perfectly explained and I agree.

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By *offee27Man
over a year ago

Wiltshire

Most meets I've had have ended up with sex. Would still go for a social and want to build that chemistry

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"There’s no right or wrong way if it works for you then great.For us we are not going to have sex just for the sake of it we have to feel comfortable and enjoy there company and there has to be a 4 way attraction and not just physically.

We have found in the past having sex with couples we have got to know and understand the dynamics of there relationship a much better experience than just getting down to it with strangers.

Exactly as above. Cold sex is not for us. But there are loads who will play on first meet.

Never had cold sex on a first meet only very hot sex.

Without chemistry or attraction it is just cold. "

I would never have sex with someone on a meet if there was no chemistry or attraction.

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

I believe socials are quite important as that is when you can see if there is a general chemistry or connection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a couple, always a chat in a pub then all back to the hotel to fuck.

As a single, only a chat on the first meet. No sexual contact at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s no right or wrong way if it works for you then great.For us we are not going to have sex just for the sake of it we have to feel comfortable and enjoy there company and there has to be a 4 way attraction and not just physically.

We have found in the past having sex with couples we have got to know and understand the dynamics of there relationship a much better experience than just getting down to it with strangers.

Exactly as above. Cold sex is not for us. But there are loads who will play on first meet.

Never had cold sex on a first meet only very hot sex.

Without chemistry or attraction it is just cold.

I would never have sex with someone on a meet if there was no chemistry or attraction."

One thing I've noticed about these forums is the tendancy to not just express one's personal preferences but to follow that up with judgemental statements about the preferences/behavoir of others.

I can totally understand the idea of an enforced no play rule adding sexual tension but I also see your point that if the chemistry is there then it can be very hot to play on first meet.

There's nothing wrong with preferring one thing or another but I do wonder if we were all a little more open to the idea that our preferences may be what is best for us but that doesn't mean that others are somehow less than us, we would all be happier

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I assume playing on the first meet is akin to a one-night stand after a night out?

I think it comes down to what everyone is comfortable with, but honesty up front would be the best way and then nobody has any unrealistic expectations

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By *lthomasMan
over a year ago

Wolves

If the chemistry and connection are there on the 1st meet and the opportunity is for play is available then yes you should play.

Some meets were only ever going to be social, others social and see how it goes but most seem to be "yes we're going to play meets."

I've only ever had 2 that were 100% social and several social and see how it goes. I've only had one say thanks but no thanks and I've said the same once.

It is what is and that's what makes us all differnt/

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By *scouple07Couple
over a year ago

louth, Ireland

We have done this in the past, if we met and got along and there was a connection/attraction then it could be a possibility from our experience. But saying that, anyone we have met we have been messaging a bit before a meet is arranged

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"There’s no right or wrong way if it works for you then great.For us we are not going to have sex just for the sake of it we have to feel comfortable and enjoy there company and there has to be a 4 way attraction and not just physically.

We have found in the past having sex with couples we have got to know and understand the dynamics of there relationship a much better experience than just getting down to it with strangers.

Exactly as above. Cold sex is not for us. But there are loads who will play on first meet.

Never had cold sex on a first meet only very hot sex.

Without chemistry or attraction it is just cold.

Sometimes things work others they don’t, but why come here if you meet for a coffee first? Is that not why people join here because we don’t want the coffee?"

What kind of site do you think this is? You know if you just want a woman to turn up, fuck you, and leave there are more appropriate ways of getting that? I suppose you’ll come back with “it’s a sex site” ( ) For a lot, if not the majority, of people here it’s not a “sex site” (WTF is a “sex site” anyway?), it’s for swinging and swinging has a huge social component.

Personally, I won’t have sex with someone I don’t like. That means their personality at least as much as their looks. I chat for a while first, usually at least a few weeks, then have a social. This helps me get to know them and get a feel for whether a) there’s chemistry and b) they’re a safe person to play with. It’s not foolproof, but it’s better than turning up at some rando’s house, finding they’re 20 years older than their photos, then discovering they don’t understand the word “no”.

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland

We’d have a few drinks before hand and some light flirting to see if everyone got on.

Would hate to be in or put anyone else in the position that we were just meeting to play, that’s not for us.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"If the chemistry and connection are there on the 1st meet and the opportunity is for play is available then yes you should play.

Some meets were only ever going to be social, others social and see how it goes but most seem to be "yes we're going to play meets."

I've only ever had 2 that were 100% social and several social and see how it goes. I've only had one say thanks but no thanks and I've said the same once.

It is what is and that's what makes us all differnt/"

I really don’t like hearing “should” in this context. What “should” happen is that neither party puts pressure on the other. You can’t say anyone “should” play on the first meet, and saying “if the chemistry and connection are there” doesn’t make it sound any better because one person might think it is while the other is desperately looking for an excuse to leave. I’m not sure if you realise how hard it can be for a woman to turn a man down when he comes on too strong, but it can be difficult and sometimes dangerous to do so. I prefer to avoid any possibility of that happening, by making it clear that the social will be just a coffee and no more. It’s safer to turn them down from a distance via a message.

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By *ultonfuncoupleCouple
over a year ago

oulton broad, suffolk

Well said, couldn't agree more. I (female) always insist on a purely social first. This has worked well for us and we have gone on to have multiple meets with some couples, and nothing further with others. It would be awful to have someone turn up expecting sex, then have to say no. Better to meet, go away and then make a decision as a couple. No regrets so far.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Visiting Blackpool

Playing without even talking?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well said, couldn't agree more. I (female) always insist on a purely social first. This has worked well for us and we have gone on to have multiple meets with some couples, and nothing further with others. It would be awful to have someone turn up expecting sex, then have to say no. Better to meet, go away and then make a decision as a couple. No regrets so far."

This is us exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the chemistry and connection are there on the 1st meet and the opportunity is for play is available then yes you should play.

Some meets were only ever going to be social, others social and see how it goes but most seem to be "yes we're going to play meets."

I've only ever had 2 that were 100% social and several social and see how it goes. I've only had one say thanks but no thanks and I've said the same once.

It is what is and that's what makes us all differnt/

I really don’t like hearing “should” in this context. What “should” happen is that neither party puts pressure on the other. You can’t say anyone “should” play on the first meet, and saying “if the chemistry and connection are there” doesn’t make it sound any better because one person might think it is while the other is desperately looking for an excuse to leave. I’m not sure if you realise how hard it can be for a woman to turn a man down when he comes on too strong, but it can be difficult and sometimes dangerous to do so. I prefer to avoid any possibility of that happening, by making it clear that the social will be just a coffee and no more. It’s safer to turn them down from a distance via a message."

Totally agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the chemistry and connection are there on the 1st meet and the opportunity is for play is available then yes you should play.

Some meets were only ever going to be social, others social and see how it goes but most seem to be "yes we're going to play meets."

I've only ever had 2 that were 100% social and several social and see how it goes. I've only had one say thanks but no thanks and I've said the same once.

It is what is and that's what makes us all differnt/"

Should play? Dam thats an entitled responce

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I believe socials are quite important as that is when you can see if there is a general chemistry or connection "

A man that understands. Well done sir

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s no right or wrong way if it works for you then great.For us we are not going to have sex just for the sake of it we have to feel comfortable and enjoy there company and there has to be a 4 way attraction and not just physically.

We have found in the past having sex with couples we have got to know and understand the dynamics of there relationship a much better experience than just getting down to it with strangers.

Exactly as above. Cold sex is not for us. But there are loads who will play on first meet.

Never had cold sex on a first meet only very hot sex.

Without chemistry or attraction it is just cold.

I would never have sex with someone on a meet if there was no chemistry or attraction."

Exactly what i was getting at

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its good yo talk, whilst playing on a first meet...

It might even lead to a second meet, then a third meet, then...."

Nobody is guaranteed a play on first meet, if you expect that then this site is not for you. Also the cpl may be might just want you for a one off meet. Never expect anything on fab.

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By *ornyharry39Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

Social first if all get on then to the bedroom doesn’t have to be fun on first meet but usually all goes well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Following on from another thread out of interest how many couples are happy to play on the first meet without spending time conversing ? We’re not knocking that but sometimes we feel if all we want to do is drink and chit chat we can just nip down to the local.

We travel about an hour to go to a club so would rather play to make the most out of it particularly as we only go monthly. "

I prefer a conversation/social before the fun simply because fun and frolics aren’t always on the cards plus it’s good to chat and flirt first

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

We always do a social meet 1st as mrs4 is very uncomfortable with the thought of people assuming or demanding or expecting sex just because she happens to be on a site like this as for both of us there has to be a spark/attraction to the other person ! and we do make that quite easy to understand but sadly people have turned up expecting that after a few minutes she'll be stripping naked and leaping on them and if you are in to just get them off type of meets fair play to you but we aren't and we never rule out playing on 1st meets but as most have stated that has normally happened after a few hours of chatting ..eating ..drinking and most of laughing !! and we do tell the single male who pester us for "FUN" if they do want 100% sex every single time there are other sites for that but ...and mrs4 has never had a desire to be a unpaid sex worker !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always a social first and if there’s more then it’s a bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think in 10 years I have been playing I have had only 3 socials. The reason I am on fab as I enjoy sex but what to waste time chatting. Also what is there to chat about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its good yo talk, whilst playing on a first meet...

It might even lead to a second meet, then a third meet, then....

Nobody is guaranteed a play on first meet, if you expect that then this site is not for you. Also the cpl may be might just want you for a one off meet. Never expect anything on fab. "

Sense of humour bypass?

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By *ricoupleCouple
over a year ago

London

We always meet somewhere public first for a coffee or drink, if all happy then we move to home/hotel and play. We’ve traveled a lot around the world and perhaps only have one opportunity to meet so go to the meet ready. We’ve had some wonderful experiences from another site, unfortunately not had that many meets from Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also prefer a social, no expectations meet because I have met up with people after chatting for a while, and there's been no connection. And it's easier to go our separate ways after a drink, than to say "sorry but I'm not feeling this..." when they are actually in my house and potentially expecting sex.

That’s just Pof then? A drink then sex if you feel the spark or drink a lot.

I don't think so. I think that socialising is a very normal part of swinging. I also think that, as a single woman, I have to take certain precautions for my safety. A social meet first allows for that - if all goes well then we have fun."

That makes good sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think in 10 years I have been playing I have had only 3 socials. The reason I am on fab as I enjoy sex but what to waste time chatting. Also what is there to chat about? "

I do like some chat, but I know what you're saying. We're here for sex. If I meet you then fuck me, or I'll be going home upset xx

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By *aseMan
over a year ago

Gourock

If you hit it off, And feel comfortable why not...

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By *layful Couple For YouCouple
over a year ago

Lust

We always state that first time meets are ‘socials with options’. You never really know till you meet someone if that sexual spark is gonna be there or not, so we never guarantee playing on a first meet. That being said though, as we tend to do a fair bit of chatting on here before we get around to meeting anyone, then we’re 99% of the way there anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we always happy to play first meet--not easy find couples that are happy to do and arrange as such

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously not met anyone for a while but I’ve generally met on here in homes. If I’m not feeling it then I don’t do it. I’ve been in some situations that haven’t felt comfortable so I’ve gone home.

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