FabSwingers.com forum: Should you tell a friend....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

...they look awful in what they wear? Following on from the leggings thread over in the swinging lounge, I wondered if you had a friend who wasn't doing herself/himself any favours, would you tell them. If so how and if not, why not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all depends on what her personality is like and how she reacts to whether to say or not.

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By *uby In StockingsTV/TS
over a year ago

Cheadle

Yes, can you really be a true friend if you are not honest with said???, however fashion is purely a matter of opinion and taste so it might be better to be diplomatic and say "I couldn't wear that/those because etc etc etc", then at least your friend might start to think about your opinion a little more, xxx

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

yes... for sure

My sister married last year after living with her partner for many years... she brought her outfit to let me see.

my reaction was 'what the fuck is that'

it was returned the next day and a much nicer one purchased. We still laugh about it.

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By *uby In StockingsTV/TS
over a year ago

Cheadle

aye but siblings are easier to be straight with, x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"aye but siblings are easier to be straight with, x

depends on the relationship you have with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your a true friend ...............yes.

Just choose your words wisely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always tell the truth with my friends as they do with me especially if we are going out together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...they look awful in what they wear? Following on from the leggings thread over in the swinging lounge, I wondered if you had a friend who wasn't doing herself/himself any favours, would you tell them. If so how and if not, why not? "

Fashion is an individual thing. Some like to follow "convention" some dont care.

I would never tell someone what they looked like - it's not my place - however if they did ask what i thought, i would give them my honest opinion based on my own fashion preferences.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This friend of mine (no way would she ever be on here so I can be honest!) is a big girl and very top heavy...through the day she's dowdy with cardi's and t shirts with black trousers that have seen better days, with a safety pin in place of a button and the bottoms of them are frayed. Even though she has a good job in a busy office.

When we go out, it's very low cut tops with strappy sleeves and tight jeans that roll under her stomach. The more d*unk she gets, the more she forgets to roll them back! I adore her and despite the odd gentle hint still no change!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IF it was the wife I would say that doesn't suit you, if it was one of my mates I would keep my mouth shut to them and then join in in the piss taking which is bound to come there way lol,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, so long as it's not too late lol! I was at a family wedding recently and my sister arrived in the most awful dress, made her look like an old lady :/ and the shoes didn't match. Obviously I couldn't say so cos it was too late and would've ruined here evening.

If I'd seen it when she bought it I would've said something for sure.

Same with friends and I'd expect the same from my friends

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If someone asked me I'd be honest but otherwise I'd keep my mouth shut, none of my business what people choose to wear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the friend and how she'd take it. I like to mix up what I wear and sometimes I can look like a right moron, but it makes me laugh to see people's reaction.

I like the 'oh my gawd what the heck has she got on' faces, especially when they say 'you look nice'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be frank - although thats not my name - id be compled to tell them in same id hope they tell me ; the last thing id like is people sniggering at me behind my back because the bright pink flashing thong was showing through my see through pants ....ops did i say that out loud lol hehehhe

ps; no i dont ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In fairness when I see such a disaster happening I normally think,, do they not have any friends ?

So yes I always say Xx

If they're out already I'd tell them after and ease the blow, but if its a what do you think ?

Then its a no Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How fragile are they? Hoe open to advice are they? Its a minefield and you are more than likley to experience a little backlash. If you do tell them think of a kind way of doing it.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

yes i would, do, and will continue to do,and my friend is exactly the same with me,if you cant be honest with your friends then who can you be honest with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" yes i would, straight n direct"

Well I say I looked jolly smart in me dog tooth jacket....;-)

You, on ya back, howlin like a hyena was too subtle fa me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would definitely tell my GF if what she wanted to wear didn't suit her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course but with diplomacy.

Whe I was bigger, I was wearing a pair of leggings (for the last time until I lost weight) ... and my husband just said ' Oh darling ... so many shapes!' ... that was enough.

You can say that it doesn't make the most of her figure or she's better off making more of her legs, boobs, arse or other. Say, needs to be longer, shortr etc, comes in just the wrong place with waistlines.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i wouldnt no

What looks good is down to personal choice and what rights have i got to tell someone they dont look good in something they obviously like and feel good in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would definitely tell my GF if what she wanted to wear didn't suit her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup

and I'd want to be told too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends on the friend and how she'd take it. I like to mix up what I wear and sometimes I can look like a right moron, but it makes me laugh to see people's reaction.

I like the 'oh my gawd what the heck has she got on' faces, especially when they say 'you look nice'.

Hey !

I thought u looked hot

It's not everyone that can rock a vivid pink leather catsuit, especially with clogs on !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would definitely tell my GF if what she wanted to wear didn't suit her.

but what if she really liked it and felt good in it, wouldnt you rather her wear something she felt good and confidant in even if you didnt think it suited her than something you liked that she didnt feel so good in?"
last time i went shopping with a gf she could tell if i liked something on her by the look on my face. She was a 'larger lady' and we ended up looking in half a dozen places. She tried on a black maxi dress and when she came out she could see i wanted to lift it up and bang her brains out there n then. While with other things i had said "yeah that looks ok" all i said with that dress was "yep..." and i bought it for her...lets not be silly, pepple can tell if their partner likes them in some thing pretty easily. I almonwt always wore what she bought for me (she wasnt too keen on my dress sense...) not because i liked it but because she liked me in it.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would definitely tell my GF if what she wanted to wear didn't suit her.

but what if she really liked it and felt good in it, wouldnt you rather her wear something she felt good and confidant in even if you didnt think it suited her than something you liked that she didnt feel so good in?last time i went shopping with a gf she could tell if i liked something on her by the look on my face. She was a 'larger lady' and we ended up looking in half a dozen places. She tried on a black maxi dress and when she came out she could see i wanted to lift it up and bang her brains out there n then. While with other things i had said "yeah that looks ok" all i said with that dress was "yep..." and i bought it for her...lets not be silly, pepple can tell if their partner likes them in some thing pretty easily. I almonwt always wore what she bought for me (she wasnt too keen on my dress sense...) not because i liked it but because she liked me in it....."

I wear what i like and feel good in, if i try something on and like it i will buy it, i have eyes in my head if i look shit in it it goes back

If i bought something and i wore it and a partner told me he didnt like it id tell him he best stay in then and id go out alone lol

But to be fair im the same with other id never dream of telling someone i didnt think they looked good in what they was wearing, my ex used to drive me nut, he always used to tuck his t shirt in his jeans

i never got why because to me you dont tuck t shirts in it looking flipping stupid but i never told him he was old enough to dress himself as am i

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no i never would. my older sister and mum used to critisise me a lot and i wouldnt like to be like them.

i think its up to people to wear what they like, and if they dont know what suits them, then thats their problem.

i do tell my hubby though because i know he doesnt mind, as he is a lot older than me and when i first met him he dressed like an old man.

he only wears something if he likes it as well as me though.

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By *ace212Man
over a year ago

London

Two Women should be easy-take her shopping. Ask her for her help to choose something for you, go shopping and suggest she try be a bit more adventurous, pick out the odd thing and be complimentary. No point doing it away from clothes she'll become self conscious

and stay in her safe zone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always told my mates if they look awful in clothes or make up or hair. I think i would expect my mates to do the same and they do. I have had one mate have a right old huff but then after she had asked a few more mates she realised she looked like a multi coloures twat lol.

My friends know me and i will always tell what i think. My mates dont get offended as im mainly polite but straight to the point.

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