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Modesty vs humility

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

“Modesty is a learned affectation” Maya Angelou

“You want humility, humility comes from inside out” Oprah Winfrey

Playing weak, dumb and silly is a disservice to yourself and to me, and to the world, every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully, don’t mistake modesty for humility, modesty is a giggly lie, an act, a mask, a fake game, we have no time for it” Glennon Doyle - Untamed.

This really resonated with me, I’m interested in people’s opinions, are you modest, do you practice humility, do you step into your power and own it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because someone famous says something doesn’t make it word.

If it resonates with you then that’s fine, for you.

I’m perfectly comfortable with the way I portray myself to people.

Those that take the time to get to know me... know me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Evening Mable

I think it honestly depends on the situation. Most of us know when and how to play the game.

I am mostly a wall flower (humble and modest) but can adapt if I need to, due to life experiences I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has a lot to do with perception too, it's a relationship between two or more people. Some folk are just shy or awkward or not very good at showing off. We're often quick to judge when people are so damn complicated and changeable

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just because someone famous says something doesn’t make it word.

If it resonates with you then that’s fine, for you.

I’m perfectly comfortable with the way I portray myself to people.

Those that take the time to get to know me... know me."

I should have said, it’s about women, making themselves small and weak, so as not to be criticised for being too much.

It’s about not tearing down strong women because we’re uncomfortable with them being strong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Famous people and quotes... well it obviously worked for them so if you get some comfort from their lives and predicaments then good for you. Personally I believe you need to own your shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they just don't know how to take credit when it's due? Another perspective.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’m not saying I’m following what a famous person does, I’m saying it resonated with me, and I’m interested in people’s opinions, do you agree, not agree, etc...

the bit that resonated was, “every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully”

I know I’ve done this, and I’m sure some others have done too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think referring to Oprah as just a celebrity isn't really doing her justice. Not trying to start an argument but I'd rather listen to her where she lived and thrived in a time when someone who's black was barely accepted in the entertainment sector.

Just my 2 cents.

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By *ambozaMan
over a year ago

kilburn park

My understanding of humility is being rightsized... not too much or too little.

Humility isn’t humiliating it’s liberating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think humility is important in life. More than the feeling of "winning". But some of us never grow up to that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Famous people and quotes... well it obviously worked for them so if you get some comfort from their lives and predicaments then good for you. Personally I believe you need to own your shit."

This. I think maybe we should ditch whatever quote some random famous person says and critically analyse ourselves and our own behaviours before judging others for their behaviours. In other words like Incie says "own your shit"

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Fuck knows.

I know I'm pretty awesome yet I'm aware that I won't be to everyone ....but at the same time I'm genuinely blown away and end up in tears when people do nice things for me or thank me for things that I do naturally. I'm always shocked and surprised that I've been noticed even though I'm gobby and come across confident.

It's difficult for me to explain. I think it's about appreciation and gratitude in a way, and understanding that although I know I'm awesome (sometimes), I'm not superior at all and other people are just as awesome as me.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I see where you're coming from, OP. I think it's a conversation we have with ourselves over the course of our lives. To what extent we follow our conditioning, the expectations put upon us, etc. What we teach or model for others.

Not just gender, but also culture, potentially class, also family norms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm glad you found your strength in someone's words. If we can take a word and make it a torch for us, that's a positive step for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just because someone famous says something doesn’t make it word.

If it resonates with you then that’s fine, for you.

I’m perfectly comfortable with the way I portray myself to people.

Those that take the time to get to know me... know me.

I should have said, it’s about women, making themselves small and weak, so as not to be criticised for being too much.

It’s about not tearing down strong women because we’re uncomfortable with them being strong.

"

The idea applies equally to mankind.

Many of us ‘dumb down’ in many ways as to avoid confrontation and ridicule.

I stand by my statement above.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Where have i said I live by celebrities quotes, and where have I said I don’t own my shit?

I posted as a part of it resonated (as stated above) and I thought it might be an interesting general discussion, it was not meant to be “pull apart the op”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read this thread as applicable to all the sexes?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I think it's also how you view yourself. Modesty can look like you're not "taking the power" I'll call it, batting it away as though it's undeserved. however some people genuinely don't believe the compliment they're being given because to accept it means stepping out of their own mind and into someone else's, otherwise it can be awkward and the whole embarrassed at being paid that compliment can be real. They don't believe in it. It doesn't live up to their view of how they should be, how they should look in their own mind.

Oh god. I don't think I'm making any sense but totally can't get it on paper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where have i said I live by celebrities quotes, and where have I said I don’t own my shit?

I posted as a part of it resonated (as stated above) and I thought it might be an interesting general discussion, it was not meant to be “pull apart the op”

"

Who is pulling you apart? I just see people's opinions and responses to a thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to think i am confident , but have humility

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just because someone famous says something doesn’t make it word.

If it resonates with you then that’s fine, for you.

I’m perfectly comfortable with the way I portray myself to people.

Those that take the time to get to know me... know me.

I should have said, it’s about women, making themselves small and weak, so as not to be criticised for being too much.

It’s about not tearing down strong women because we’re uncomfortable with them being strong.

The idea applies equally to mankind.

Many of us ‘dumb down’ in many ways as to avoid confrontation and ridicule.

I stand by my statement above.

"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it's also how you view yourself. Modesty can look like you're not "taking the power" I'll call it, batting it away as though it's undeserved. however some people genuinely don't believe the compliment they're being given because to accept it means stepping out of their own mind and into someone else's, otherwise it can be awkward and the whole embarrassed at being paid that compliment can be real. They don't believe in it. It doesn't live up to their view of how they should be, how they should look in their own mind.

Oh god. I don't think I'm making any sense but totally can't get it on paper "

I know what you mean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where have i said I live by celebrities quotes, and where have I said I don’t own my shit?

I posted as a part of it resonated (as stated above) and I thought it might be an interesting general discussion, it was not meant to be “pull apart the op”

"

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire


"Where have i said I live by celebrities quotes, and where have I said I don’t own my shit?

I posted as a part of it resonated (as stated above) and I thought it might be an interesting general discussion, it was not meant to be “pull apart the op”

"
dont think anyone pulling u apart, they just not agreeing with you, and you didnt expect everyone to sing from the same song sheet surely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I understand the quotes it’s about the difference between natural modesty (that’s some people’s nature, men and women) and false modesty which mostly occurs with women playing down their abilities to be accepted or fit in.

Natural humility can be a very attractive quality and many of the most impressive people (both sexes) I’ve known possessed it. But unfortunately there is still a lot of pressure on gifted women to underplay their talents and I get those who want to kick back against this with force.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Modesty is artificial, inauthentic, modesty can be mistaken for humility but it’s nothing like humility, it can hide a greater ambition, it’s deceptive, nearly all modesty is faux, or a form of attention seeking or self pity, in a more subtle but Subversive way. If you have modesty, then you won’t know it and if you think you it, then you don’t.

Humility comes from a different place, it knows that we are insignificant and that everything is fleeting and ultimately pointless, it doesn’t care if it offends. Humility is the willingness to accept our position in the grander scheme.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's also how you view yourself. Modesty can look like you're not "taking the power" I'll call it, batting it away as though it's undeserved. however some people genuinely don't believe the compliment they're being given because to accept it means stepping out of their own mind and into someone else's, otherwise it can be awkward and the whole embarrassed at being paid that compliment can be real. They don't believe in it. It doesn't live up to their view of how they should be, how they should look in their own mind.

Oh god. I don't think I'm making any sense but totally can't get it on paper "

It does make sense. I was thinking along similar lines.. struggling to take a credit. Not really believing its face value.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Where have i said I live by celebrities quotes, and where have I said I don’t own my shit?

I posted as a part of it resonated (as stated above) and I thought it might be an interesting general discussion, it was not meant to be “pull apart the op”

dont think anyone pulling u apart, they just not agreeing with you, and you didnt expect everyone to sing from the same song sheet surely "

It’s not about agreeing with me.

I was interested in a discussion about the quotes, and a debate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I understand the quotes it’s about the difference between natural modesty (that’s some people’s nature, men and women) and false modesty which mostly occurs with women playing down their abilities to be accepted or fit in.

Natural humility can be a very attractive quality and many of the most impressive people (both sexes) I’ve known possessed it. But unfortunately there is still a lot of pressure on gifted women to underplay their talents and I get those who want to kick back against this with force."

My father's advice was always to play bit more stupid than you actually are, so people underestimate you.. but I think he applied it to himself (a male) too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As I understand the quotes it’s about the difference between natural modesty (that’s some people’s nature, men and women) and false modesty which mostly occurs with women playing down their abilities to be accepted or fit in.

Natural humility can be a very attractive quality and many of the most impressive people (both sexes) I’ve known possessed it. But unfortunately there is still a lot of pressure on gifted women to underplay their talents and I get those who want to kick back against this with force."

Yes!!! Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully”

I'm not comfortable with this, it's very victim-blamey. So many women have been conditioned to make themselves small and 'less than' they really are. Becoming aware of that conditioning and overriding it is a huge feat that, if accomplished, should be applauded, but to place responsibility of liberating all woman-kind onto a single damaged individual lacks compassion and understanding of why that person is self effacing in the first place. I'm all for people building each other up, but without compassion, for self and others, that's not going to be achievable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"“every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully”

I'm not comfortable with this, it's very victim-blamey. So many women have been conditioned to make themselves small and 'less than' they really are. Becoming aware of that conditioning and overriding it is a huge feat that, if accomplished, should be applauded, but to place responsibility of liberating all woman-kind onto a single damaged individual lacks compassion and understanding of why that person is self effacing in the first place. I'm all for people building each other up, but without compassion, for self and others, that's not going to be achievable. "

I hadn’t thought about it from that point of view. That’s a very good point.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"Where have i said I live by celebrities quotes, and where have I said I don’t own my shit?

I posted as a part of it resonated (as stated above) and I thought it might be an interesting general discussion, it was not meant to be “pull apart the op”

"

I may be wrong but I don't think they meant you personally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read this thread as applicable to all the sexes? "

Fine, clearly I entered the wrong changing room....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I read this thread as applicable to all the sexes?

Fine, clearly I entered the wrong changing room.... "

Interested in your opinion though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read this thread as applicable to all the sexes?

Fine, clearly I entered the wrong changing room.... "

I’m here with you bro.

You can hang your towel on this...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read this thread as applicable to all the sexes?

Fine, clearly I entered the wrong changing room....

I’m here with you bro.

You can hang your towel on this..."

I'm far too modest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read this thread as applicable to all the sexes?

Fine, clearly I entered the wrong changing room....

Interested in your opinion though "

3rd reply in love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always felt like I didnt really fit in, conform, or whatever, since early childhood.

As such, the societal norms, or conditioning were something I rejected, although I have mellowed a little since then. I have never considered the need for labels probably because I am unappologetically me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Has a lot to do with perception too, it's a relationship between two or more people. Some folk are just shy or awkward or not very good at showing off. We're often quick to judge when people are so damn complicated and changeable "

You make a good point too, perception is important too.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London


"

the bit that resonated was, “every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully”

."

I don't understand this.

Why when you act 'modest', you steal permission from another woman to exist fully?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

the bit that resonated was, “every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully”

.

I don't understand this.

Why when you act 'modest', you steal permission from another woman to exist fully?"

The more we shrink ourselves to fit, rather than allowing ourselves to be strong, the more women feel they need to shrink.

*some, not all!*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully".

I have to disagree, everyone has the right to present themselves as who they are or how they wish to. it does not take away from another, because you choice a different way.

I dont believe in tearing another down woman or man but that's completely different yo presenting your own self how you wish to do so. You cant steal someone else permission to live how they wish, just for living how you wish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/02/21 21:47:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not weak or modest in any way but sometimes it’s quite a turn on sexually to role play a modest ingénue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

the bit that resonated was, “every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully”

.

I don't understand this.

Why when you act 'modest', you steal permission from another woman to exist fully?"

Exactly. It should never be a competition.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London


"

the bit that resonated was, “every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully”

.

I don't understand this.

Why when you act 'modest', you steal permission from another woman to exist fully?

The more we shrink ourselves to fit, rather than allowing ourselves to be strong, the more women feel they need to shrink.

*some, not all!*"

Thank you.

I never thought being modest is similar to pretending to be weak or shrink.

I always thought being modest is the opposite of being arrogant or 'loud'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

the bit that resonated was, “every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully”

.

I don't understand this.

Why when you act 'modest', you steal permission from another woman to exist fully?

The more we shrink ourselves to fit, rather than allowing ourselves to be strong, the more women feel they need to shrink.

*some, not all!*

Thank you.

I never thought being modest is similar to pretending to be weak or shrink.

I always thought being modest is the opposite of being arrogant or 'loud'. "

Its does also mean to act without vanity or arrogance.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

the bit that resonated was, “every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully”

.

I don't understand this.

Why when you act 'modest', you steal permission from another woman to exist fully?

Exactly. It should never be a competition."

Surely it’s the opposite of a competition?

I know I’ve been guilty of shrinking to fit in the past. It’s not about not owning shit, or not being myself, it’s a confidence and conditioning thing, and no one knows what people have been through to make them what they are?

It resonated because I’ve done it, and the more of us that don’t do that, the more women will feel they don’t have to.

That’s where I was coming from.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London


"

Its does also mean to act without vanity or arrogance. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just because someone famous says something doesn’t make it word.

If it resonates with you then that’s fine, for you.

I’m perfectly comfortable with the way I portray myself to people.

Those that take the time to get to know me... know me.

I should have said, it’s about women, making themselves small and weak, so as not to be criticised for being too much.

It’s about not tearing down strong women because we’re uncomfortable with them being strong.

"

My mrs is a strong woman. Can put me in my place if ever needed. But she is also the most loving and passionate woman i have ever known. Id not want her to be weak. I rather her strength.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“Modesty is a learned affectation” Maya Angelou

“You want humility, humility comes from inside out” Oprah Winfrey

Playing weak, dumb and silly is a disservice to yourself and to me, and to the world, every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully, don’t mistake modesty for humility, modesty is a giggly lie, an act, a mask, a fake game, we have no time for it” Glennon Doyle - Untamed.

This really resonated with me, I’m interested in people’s opinions, are you modest, do you practice humility, do you step into your power and own it?

"

As I understand the difference between humility and modesty is that while modesty is merely a moderate stance that an individual embraces, humility is a virtue that allows the individual to look into themself and accept their limitations and flaws, which makes humility the greater virtue in comparison to modesty.

I actually don't understand what either has to do with stealing permission or denying anyone anything?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I'm a strong woman who is modest when I want to be.

For instance: at school, in the top set, I would constantly get top marks in every subject.

Now, no one was ever really nasty about it but one day, in English, someone said I bet Jo gets the highest mark.

I remember looking at my classmates and wondering if anyone felt inadequate (unhappy?) that they never got high marks.

I never celebrated or made a thing about getting top marks; I didn't need to.

I don't need to validate myself by making others feel lesser than me.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London


"

I know I’ve been guilty of shrinking to fit in the past. It’s not about not owning shit, or not being myself, it’s a confidence and conditioning thing, and no one knows what people have been through to make them what they are?

It resonated because I’ve done it, and the more of us that don’t do that, the more women will feel they don’t have to.

That’s where I was coming from."

Do you think it has to do with certain culture or upbringing?

Whenever I look at the word "modest", older Japanese/Korean/Malay women or even older English housewives springs to my mind (most from tv shows I guess).

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London


"

As I understand the difference between humility and modesty is that while modesty is merely a moderate stance that an individual embraces, humility is a virtue that allows the individual to look into themself and accept their limitations and flaws, which makes humility the greater virtue in comparison to modesty.

"

I like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“Modesty is a learned affectation” Maya Angelou

“You want humility, humility comes from inside out” Oprah Winfrey

Playing weak, dumb and silly is a disservice to yourself and to me, and to the world, every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully, don’t mistake modesty for humility, modesty is a giggly lie, an act, a mask, a fake game, we have no time for it” Glennon Doyle - Untamed.

This really resonated with me, I’m interested in people’s opinions, are you modest, do you practice humility, do you step into your power and own it?

As I understand the difference between humility and modesty is that while modesty is merely a moderate stance that an individual embraces, humility is a virtue that allows the individual to look into themself and accept their limitations and flaws, which makes humility the greater virtue in comparison to modesty.

I actually don't understand what either has to do with stealing permission or denying anyone anything? "

Personally I take it as another way women put responsibility on other women to act in one accordance to better all women, rather than accepting the individuals and allowing and normalising of different character types. It just fine to be who you are and you being who you are doesnt take away from another, as another doesnt take away from you for being who they are.

But I'm on some pretty strong painkillers and may have missed the point entirely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think modesty is seen as a strength by some, particularly if they do not wish to be perceived as arrogant, but when overdone it becomes self effacing when they are unwilling to take credit for or promote our abilities. Others who see their self-confidence as a strength may view modesty as a weakness particularly if they perceive it as overdone or some how faked. However there’s a good chance that those who value modesty will see those who exude self confidence as arrogant at times as when it is overdone, it can become arrogance.

It is also possible to see humility as something that comes from a deeper perspective than the strengths of our relative selves, as a quality someone has and their very presence is humble because while they may recognise and feel they are a whole human being, they know they just one part of an infinite universe. As CJ alluded to.

We are all unique and have something only we can bring into the world. Often as human we are probably most afraid of our potential and allowing our light to shine. Culturally in Britain, letting our light shine is valued much less than it could be.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think modesty is seen as a strength by some, particularly if they do not wish to be perceived as arrogant, but when overdone it becomes self effacing when they are unwilling to take credit for or promote our abilities. Others who see their self-confidence as a strength may view modesty as a weakness particularly if they perceive it as overdone or some how faked. However there’s a good chance that those who value modesty will see those who exude self confidence as arrogant at times as when it is overdone, it can become arrogance.

It is also possible to see humility as something that comes from a deeper perspective than the strengths of our relative selves, as a quality someone has and their very presence is humble because while they may recognise and feel they are a whole human being, they know they just one part of an infinite universe. As CJ alluded to.

We are all unique and have something only we can bring into the world. Often as human we are probably most afraid of our potential and allowing our light to shine. Culturally in Britain, letting our light shine is valued much less than it could be."

Perfect

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"“Modesty is a learned affectation” Maya Angelou

“You want humility, humility comes from inside out” Oprah Winfrey

Playing weak, dumb and silly is a disservice to yourself and to me, and to the world, every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully, don’t mistake modesty for humility, modesty is a giggly lie, an act, a mask, a fake game, we have no time for it” Glennon Doyle - Untamed.

This really resonated with me, I’m interested in people’s opinions, are you modest, do you practice humility, do you step into your power and own it?

As I understand the difference between humility and modesty is that while modesty is merely a moderate stance that an individual embraces, humility is a virtue that allows the individual to look into themself and accept their limitations and flaws, which makes humility the greater virtue in comparison to modesty.

I actually don't understand what either has to do with stealing permission or denying anyone anything?

Personally I take it as another way women put responsibility on other women to act in one accordance to better all women, rather than accepting the individuals and allowing and normalising of different character types. It just fine to be who you are and you being who you are doesnt take away from another, as another doesnt take away from you for being who they are.

But I'm on some pretty strong painkillers and may have missed the point entirely. "

Precisely everyone is an individual, just be who you are and not who you think people want you to be.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"

the bit that resonated was, “every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully”

.

I don't understand this.

Why when you act 'modest', you steal permission from another woman to exist fully?"

Maybe it's like the "all the crap men on Fab ruin the site for the decent guys" schtick we hear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“Modesty is a learned affectation” Maya Angelou

“You want humility, humility comes from inside out” Oprah Winfrey

Playing weak, dumb and silly is a disservice to yourself and to me, and to the world, every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully, don’t mistake modesty for humility, modesty is a giggly lie, an act, a mask, a fake game, we have no time for it” Glennon Doyle - Untamed.

This really resonated with me, I’m interested in people’s opinions, are you modest, do you practice humility, do you step into your power and own it?

As I understand the difference between humility and modesty is that while modesty is merely a moderate stance that an individual embraces, humility is a virtue that allows the individual to look into themself and accept their limitations and flaws, which makes humility the greater virtue in comparison to modesty.

I actually don't understand what either has to do with stealing permission or denying anyone anything?

Personally I take it as another way women put responsibility on other women to act in one accordance to better all women, rather than accepting the individuals and allowing and normalising of different character types. It just fine to be who you are and you being who you are doesnt take away from another, as another doesnt take away from you for being who they are.

But I'm on some pretty strong painkillers and may have missed the point entirely.

Precisely everyone is an individual, just be who you are and not who you think people want you to be. "

This exactly, build yourself up without looking to others for validation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“Modesty is a learned affectation” Maya Angelou

“You want humility, humility comes from inside out” Oprah Winfrey

Playing weak, dumb and silly is a disservice to yourself and to me, and to the world, every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully, don’t mistake modesty for humility, modesty is a giggly lie, an act, a mask, a fake game, we have no time for it” Glennon Doyle - Untamed.

This really resonated with me, I’m interested in people’s opinions, are you modest, do you practice humility, do you step into your power and own it?

As I understand the difference between humility and modesty is that while modesty is merely a moderate stance that an individual embraces, humility is a virtue that allows the individual to look into themself and accept their limitations and flaws, which makes humility the greater virtue in comparison to modesty.

I actually don't understand what either has to do with stealing permission or denying anyone anything?

Personally I take it as another way women put responsibility on other women to act in one accordance to better all women, rather than accepting the individuals and allowing and normalising of different character types. It just fine to be who you are and you being who you are doesnt take away from another, as another doesnt take away from you for being who they are.

But I'm on some pretty strong painkillers and may have missed the point entirely.

Precisely everyone is an individual, just be who you are and not who you think people want you to be. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

the bit that resonated was, “every time you pretend to be less than you are, you steal permission from another woman to exist fully”

.

I don't understand this.

Why when you act 'modest', you steal permission from another woman to exist fully?

Maybe it's like the "all the crap men on Fab ruin the site for the decent guys" schtick we hear "

Stop making everything about Men, none of this applies to Men apparently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In conclusion, stop holding back on your shine. May it be a blinding one x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"In conclusion, stop holding back on your shine. May it be a blinding one x"

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone


"Whenever I look at the word "modest", older Japanese/Korean/Malay women or even older English housewives springs to my mind (most from tv shows I guess)."

It seems most of the contributions thus far (except the one above) are from a Western feminist perspective. There are others.

I am from a Chinese Malaysian culture and being an older full time Trans Woman I get bullied / side-lined by assertive younger ambitious women at work. I don't have any problems with them being ambitious but they are unaware they are being sexist and ageist.

Also, I've had extensive conversations about modesty and humility (social conditioning) with both Trans Women and Trans Men. Particularly the latter, where they've been conditioned as (formerly) female to behave in a certain way, then observe "male privileged", transition - thinking it's a magic bullet, and then hating that masculinity can also be toxic.

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