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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What kind of opening chat are women looking for what do they want to see in a message ? Any help would be great to help me be a better man ! X

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

There is no magic "catch all" formula that works for all - the only consistent rule of thumb is to be polite, respectful and considerate and accept a lack of reply with good grace.

When I sent "cold" messages I found that a brief intro, telling them a little about yourself and why you're messaging them (including why you think you'd be a good match based on their profile), asking a couple of questions for them to respond to (if they wanted) and inviting them to look at my profile and respond if they were interested in chatting further, usually worked to at least get a reply.

Remember people will often look at your profile before even considering opening a message so make sure yours reads well.

It's also worth remembering there are other ways to get chatting to people without having to send a "cold" message to someone you've not interacted with before - the forums and chat rooms are great for getting to know people and them you and sparking conversations.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yesterday I did an experiment with my profile. I got 186 messages in 10 hours. I replied to them all.

The ones that caught my eye were respectful and funny. "Hi luv" makes my minge cringe.

Because it took me almost 2 hours to reply to them all I didn't initially bother looking at profiles. If the profile pic or message put me off it was a no.

If the message was decent and/ or had an interesting pic (not a cock) then I looked at the profile.

My profile just had 1 pic and 'fill in later' as text. Any woman with actual decent pics will be getting many more messages than I did.

After replying to about 50 messages I was sick of it but forced myself to carry on because I initiated the experiment so it was only fair to reply.

So for most women, your message will be in a sea of many. It's entirely up to you what you choose to say.

I did like that many addressed me by my profile name (it was Karen yesterday). Showed they at least glanced at my profile. Another interesting thing was that many had actually paid attention to my Interests list.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to meet them in the end. So, if your not being yourself in messages then that's gonna be awkward

Experiment a little maybe but just say what you'd like.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

See I can get messages and have had and met some nice people here but with lockdown it’s so hard to maintain a decent convo when I’ve just been stuck in like I’ve run out of things to say haha

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"See I can get messages and have had and met some nice people here but with lockdown it’s so hard to maintain a decent convo when I’ve just been stuck in like I’ve run out of things to say haha "

I just take running out of things to say as a sign of no compatibility with someone and let it fizzle - if the conversation is forced then it will be false and not for me.

Put another way, if you can't maintain a conversation via messages, would you be able to maintain a conversation face to face? It's no different really.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

lock down or not, if you run out of things to say, then it would be the same over a coffee or a meal.

if a guy can only talk 'sex' with me, then I'm bored very quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd suggest if you're finding life so boring to the point of having nothing to say to a woman on here then you should tackle that first before wasting time on an approach. It's like when you see status updates saying "bored" - so they really work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd suggest if you're finding life so boring to the point of having nothing to say to a woman on here then you should tackle that first before wasting time on an approach. It's like when you see status updates saying "bored" - so they really work? "

Do*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"See I can get messages and have had and met some nice people here but with lockdown it’s so hard to maintain a decent convo when I’ve just been stuck in like I’ve run out of things to say haha

I just take running out of things to say as a sign of no compatibility with someone and let it fizzle - if the conversation is forced then it will be false and not for me.

Put another way, if you can't maintain a conversation via messages, would you be able to maintain a conversation face to face? It's no different really."

I would agree with all you have said above about content and tone, but would add that the messaging “platform” on this site is clunky to say the least and it’s far nicer to use another platform like Kik or WhatsApp (assuming the other person is comfortable with it), because the conversation flows more naturally and there isn’t this feeling of writing to a foreign exchange pen friend like when I was 12!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yesterday I did an experiment with my profile. I got 186 messages in 10 hours. I replied to them all.

The ones that caught my eye were respectful and funny. "Hi luv" makes my minge cringe.

Because it took me almost 2 hours to reply to them all I didn't initially bother looking at profiles. If the profile pic or message put me off it was a no.

If the message was decent and/ or had an interesting pic (not a cock) then I looked at the profile.

My profile just had 1 pic and 'fill in later' as text. Any woman with actual decent pics will be getting many more messages than I did.

After replying to about 50 messages I was sick of it but forced myself to carry on because I initiated the experiment so it was only fair to reply.

So for most women, your message will be in a sea of many. It's entirely up to you what you choose to say.

I did like that many addressed me by my profile name (it was Karen yesterday). Showed they at least glanced at my profile. Another interesting thing was that many had actually paid attention to my Interests list.

Good luck. "

Great social experiment. Keep it going. You could probably produce some interesting stats, assuming you have the time!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are the one on your adventure and you are the person that wishes to meet the profile you have messaged so my only suggestion would to basically be you and if they like you then great and if they don’t like you then just move on!!

For example if you sent us a witty well thought out message having read our profile and my wife doesn’t like the look of your profile/picture/eyes then it’s a no thank you from her.

Be you

Be safe

Be lucky

T

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah I agree

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