FabSwingers.com forum: Are you good at judging someone by its cover?

By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

So no one first impression can give the full picture of who a person is, just how they choose to be on that particular day, having said that. I would say that in general I am pretty good at picking up on signals of how someone is like the feeling you get. I think it is a good quality to have

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By *imis3Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

I always thought I was great at judging people on first impressions but I have come to realise I am not. To know someone you have to let them know you and that can often be too scary for me. But I am getting better

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Face to face I'm very good, but not as good when it comes to text.

I've been bitten on here a couple of times those who want to be friends, but then treat you badly.

Oh well. I am who i am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simply No.

And as I am not I find it hard to read if I have made a good impression when I first meet/ chat to people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the general idea of the type of person someone is after a very short time - but I try my best to give people a chance before my preconceived ideas kick in.

As I'd like people to do the same for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought I was.

Just since joining here, I'm really not!

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I always thought I was great at judging people on first impressions but I have come to realise I am not. To know someone you have to let them know you and that can often be too scary for me. But I am getting better

"
Yes, you are right there as they have to know you too

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I’m not good at doing it quickly, but eventually I figure it out.

Usually just too late....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been in the past. Came away thinking that person is a dick. Turned out they were!

Our problem was we listened to "friends" and judged some people based on their opinions. We tend not to listen to others now and judge people how we find them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a useful quality to have certainly.

I thought I was a good judge, and to a certain degree I am, but over time you really get to know someone, and in times of crisis even more. I've got it wrong on more than one occasion, and recently especially so.

I'm trusting, kind and optimistic by nature. At times, that's taken advantage of, often when least expected.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

[Removed by poster at 08/02/21 11:36:39]

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"We have been in the past. Came away thinking that person is a dick. Turned out they were!

Our problem was we listened to "friends" and judged some people based on their opinions. We tend not to listen to others now and judge people how we find them."

Same here. I may bear it in mind, but always make my own decisions on how said person treats me.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

I'm crap at it, and my downfall as well is I'm too trusting of everyone and I've got my fingers burned and heart heart a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you’ve got your idioms mixed up Shag.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

I'm quite good at working people out after meeting them just once. I'm a good judge of character and go with my gut instincts about people and they never usually let me down. I do think experience of meeting a wide variety of different people from different walks of life helps with this too.

I'm not 'taken in' easily by words. Some people are very good with the 'gift of the gab' and will easily influence others, whereas I look beneath at what isn't said.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m very good judge, I can read someone quickly and accurately. I trust my own judgement implicitly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, sometimes I give them a chance but sadly rarely do they prove me wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely useless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My instincts are unusually spot on with people on first meeting them, but I always allow for someone to change my first impression.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes yes, sometimes not. In general I try not to go by first impressions because some people are better for knowing. The socially awkward and shy, for instance. There have been a couple of times when I've suppressed an 'off' feeling about someone because I've not seen any evidence to suggest that feeling was justified, then very much regretted it later.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Cover as just by looking at photos a snapshot of a person? No definitely not

Quick to figure them out when I'm getting to know them? That's a totally different thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I judge all the time, based on information as it gets updated. It's not an initial thing.

Someone could be an absolute cunt when I first meet them. Later I may find out their parent had died that day.

But what if I didn't find out about their parent, I'd just forever assume they are a cunt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You can tell certain things about people just by looking at them. The way they present themselves says a lot about certain characteristics or their circumstances. You can't tell someone's true personality just by what's in front of you in a short space of time though I don't think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can't tell someone's true personality just by what's in front of you in a short space of time though I don't think"

Oh so true!

I knew someone here previously. An FWB, and I thought we had connected in the best way possible. Then, out of the blue, ghosted! Given how well she knew my views on ghosting, her actions were especially cruel.

I get things end, and people change their minds, and I can deal with that. What I struggled with (and still do if I'm honest) was the cruelty in ghosting, not least as she knew my views on it, shared the same opinion, and has been on the receiving end of it.

Had a transformational effect on me, in a negative way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've no idea because I'm not likely to find out in a lot of cases

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Generally yes I am, regardless of in person or on-line - can usually tell fairly quickly if I've warmed to someone or not.

Occasionally get it wrong, especially on-line where people can hide their true persona quite easily - but it usually comes out over time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you’ve got your idioms mixed up Shag."

Well you know what they say. One man's meat is another hand in the bush.

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By *enuinecpl101Couple
over a year ago

Co armagh

Fab really not that different from "real life" loads on here full of shit

fact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mostly my spidey sense is fairly accurate, both good + bad!

I tend to keep my own counsel and don't let others influence me, or try to influence others

Some that I've intensely disliked upon first impression have eventually become really good friends.. I'm very much someone who needs to see deeper into the soul

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

I try and not judge people straight away, some people have a knack of surprising you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In person, yes I think I’m a good judge.

On here it’s harder. However, it’s always a great help if they post on the forums.

It’s amazing how useful the green arrow is. Always reveals far more than a profile does. Sometimes good, sometimes ......avoid like the plague!

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By *ottoncandy42Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

"It's a useful quality to have certainly.

I'm trusting, kind and optimistic by nature. At times, that's taken advantage of, often when least expected."

I’m going to agree with you on that, that’s just how I feel, well said x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In person, yes I think I’m a good judge.

On here it’s harder. However, it’s always a great help if they post on the forums.

It’s amazing how useful the green arrow is. Always reveals far more than a profile does. Sometimes good, sometimes ......avoid like the plague!

Yes, the people being nice and glittery on the forums aren't ever in a group of backbiting gossipmongers in offline chat groups.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In person, yes I think I’m a good judge.

On here it’s harder. However, it’s always a great help if they post on the forums.

It’s amazing how useful the green arrow is. Always reveals far more than a profile does. Sometimes good, sometimes ......avoid like the plague!

Yes, the people being nice and glittery on the forums aren't ever in a group of backbiting gossipmongers in offline chat groups."

I have seen this mentioned a few times now. I had no idea they even existed.

Why would anyone even be interested? There’s enough of that going on in these forums

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By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago

A little village

Usually through one or two interactions, yes. And my first instinct is rarely too far off.

However when I’m feeling particularly emotionally vulnerable, I’m not so good at this and can be pulled in by a seemingly lovely person, only to realise a little further down the line that I made an error of judgement.

But hey. You live and learn.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Usually through one or two interactions, yes. And my first instinct is rarely too far off.

But hey. You live and learn.

So long as we do learn and not keep making the same mistakes. Xx

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Yes.

However I like to give people opportunities to prove me wrong.

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By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago

A little village

"Usually through one or two interactions, yes. And my first instinct is rarely too far off.

But hey. You live and learn.

So long as we do learn and not keep making the same mistakes. Xx"

I like to think I do, yes.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Usually through one or two interactions, yes. And my first instinct is rarely too far off.

But hey. You live and learn.

So long as we do learn and not keep making the same mistakes. Xx

I like to think I do, yes.

Good girl. xx

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

"In person, yes I think I’m a good judge.

On here it’s harder. However, it’s always a great help if they post on the forums.

It’s amazing how useful the green arrow is. Always reveals far more than a profile does. Sometimes good, sometimes ......avoid like the plague!

Yes, the people being nice and glittery on the forums aren't ever in a group of backbiting gossipmongers in offline chat groups."
they have nothing better to do, however with a group like this if they can all sit and slag ppl of on here thdy can do it btw themselves about ppl in the group ,i be very wary of ppl like that

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By *ambozaMan
over a year ago

kilburn park

My working life requires me to notice and assess the physical and emotional affect of a range of people.... however it’s just one facet of the whole person.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

No, only books

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty good at working folk out, problems always been I let my cock do the thinking and ignored all the red flags telling me to run like the clappers and don't look back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Generally read people well but will always give the benefit of doubt if I get a bad vibe from them, if they turn out to be a wrong un that's OK, it's their gig and yes I've been stung a couple of times but I'd rather that than be cynical and assume everyone's bad till they show otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People always misjudge me they seem to think I am someone that I am not.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i honestly try not to judge people right away i prefer to get to know people better and then make a call, but that being said there are a few people i've met that just rubbed me the wrong way so i avoid that crap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you think about its just a "cover up" they present to the world. But yes I guess I do judge what they chose to "wear" with little regrets.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Generally yes very good ! Even on here! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good judging someone by it's cover everyone.

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By *ungdrawnandquarteredMan
over a year ago

Redbourn

"No. I judge all the time, based on information as it gets updated. It's not an initial thing.

Someone could be an absolute cunt when I first meet them. Later I may find out their parent had died that day.

But what if I didn't find out about their parent, I'd just forever assume they are a cunt.

Could be both as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK, it's their gig and yes I've been stung a couple of times but I'd rather that than be cynical and assume everyone's bad till they show otherwise. "

Me too, but I try to not let it shape me, as I feel I win more as an optomomist than I'd lose as a cynic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK, it's their gig and yes I've been stung a couple of times but I'd rather that than be cynical and assume everyone's bad till they show otherwise.

Me too, but I try to not let it shape me, as I feel I win more as an optomomist than I'd lose as a cynic."

Definately

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