FabSwingers.com forum: 'Friends'

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This isn't about what's right or wrong, or being judgemental but I'm interested in what other people think about those on their friends list.

Being friends gives us access to more pics which is great if that's all you want.

But am I the only one who treats friends like they are more than just random people we can see naked?

Is it weird that I regularly ask them how their day is, if they are ok, and just make conversation and get to know them better.

I have had long in-depth chats with people but get annoyed it's always you messaging them and they just respond rather than make any effort themselves to start a chat, or maybe ask how u are once in a blue moon. And if you left they wouldn't notice.

Judge me people, am I being needy and stupid because I think I must be

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's a difficult one. We are guilty of not contacting many people on our friends list and they don't contact us. In fact we deleted a few the other day.

I think friend has a different meaning for many on the internet.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We have a few people who consider to be actual friends on the list, but generally our friends list is just a useful place to keep an eye on people we like to meet, they will show in friends updates which makes it easier to spot if they're going to a club close by.

Cal

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

OP - I'm very much the same.

I've become closer to some than others.

I ain't want friends on here just to look at their pics.

I much prefer the fact that i see their updates and statuses.

I get to a stage that i feel like im pestering them, if it's me that instigates the conversation all the time.

You do end up with people you may like (even platonically) blending into the background.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want my friends to actively interact with me and one day hope to meet them all at socials / clubs etc etc

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I want my friends to actively interact with me and one day hope to meet them all at socials / clubs etc etc

Give them a hug.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to think that people on my friends list want to be friends. If I don't get a message for a while from someone I will kick them out. It's nothing unusual for me to get so down about things that I'll kick them all out

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I try to keep it to men I’ve met. I find it easier to chat to men who I’ve met, who like me, who find me sexy and who have an interest in me beyond my sexual repertoire.

My very first meet from 2016 is on my friends list and we check in occasionally. There’s an easy comfortableness (for me) because he has met me and that awkwardness I get with new people has gone.

Also I keep my friends list small because I uppad a fuck ton of photos and I don’t want to spam someone’s updates.

Also I’m rubbish at initiating contact. I don’t like to bother folk, assuming that there will always be someone else they would rather hear from than me.

I think I’ve probably lost the art of keeping up a conversation because really I’m a loner.

And I struggle with sexy chat with men I’ve not met. My flirting is rubbish.

So, in summary, I don’t make a great online friend.

Ps. I’m great at navel gazing waffle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm. Thought provoking. My friends list is just -there. People I like and talk to sporadically more than most other fabbers. But fab friends are not everyday life friends to me. Sorry if that sounds harsh to anyone on my friends list! I'm aware people do make strong connections and friends on here, but thats not what I'm looking for.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"OP - I'm very much the same.

I've become closer to some than others.

I ain't want friends on here just to look at their pics.

I much prefer the fact that i see their updates and statuses.

I get to a stage that i feel like im pestering them, if it's me that instigates the conversation all the time.

You do end up with people you may like (even platonically) blending into the background.

Exactly the same, man! Totally get that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wouldnt know noone has added me yet

and I wont throw out requests. But in reality I would be the same as you. If I had friends there it will generally be for a reason and I will genuinely ask the same questions you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a small number of ‘Friends’ I regularly exchange messages with as well as chatting in the Forum. If I felt our conversations were one way I hope I’d take the hint and not message again.

I would like to think I might meet some of them in real life but that seems so far off that I don’t give it much thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never felt so insignificant and lonely as I did once standing in the middle of Grand Central Station NYC.

So many people bustling around in mass like ants, I was invisible to them totally and I felt quite lonely. In fairness of course nobody knew me.

On fab as guys we are often ignored or made to feel that exact same way, nothing worse than wanting to join in a fun thread that requires an "I'm in" post only to be ignored by everyone including those on our friends list.

I work very long hours over the weekends and quite often message friends only to see them online all day but no response.

I guess it puts fab into perspective and a reality check regarding my expectations of it.

That said I've got one or two thats really been there for me and for that I love them dearly...

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

There's threads i don't join in now because i know I'll be ignored too, even if i try to make a funny post.

Oh well - NEXT!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess it puts fab into perspective and a reality check regarding my expectations of it.

That said I've got one or two thats really been there for me and for that I love them dearly..."

I think I’m real life if you’ve got two or three genuine friends then you’re winning. Same principle here, concentrate on the ones who reciprocate and accept that others are maybe looking for something different than you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's threads i don't join in now because i know I'll be ignored too, even if i try to make a funny post.

Oh well - NEXT!

CG the force is strong in you. your posts display the quickest and sharpest humour and I've always read them with a smile...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's threads i don't join in now because i know I'll be ignored too, even if i try to make a funny post.

Oh well - NEXT!

CG the force is strong in you. your posts display the quickest and sharpest humour and I've always read them with a smile...

Me too, just because people don’t reply doesn’t mean you’re not noticed, honestly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's threads i don't join in now because i know I'll be ignored too, even if i try to make a funny post.

Oh well - NEXT!

I know the feeling brother but I seen it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Generalising here but you’re not a friendship works both ways if you feel you’re putting effort in and they’re not then ask yourself if they’re worth your time. This applies to life generally and not just fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, if I'm reading this correctly, then you're upset because other people excerise their freedom of choice and have different preferences from you and use the site differently from you? I'd say maybe choose your "friends" more wisely in that case and ask them how they view being a friend before you add them fella?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Generalising here but you’re not a friendship works both ways if you feel you’re putting effort in and they’re not then ask yourself if they’re worth your time. This applies to life generally and not just fab. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi

This isn't about what's right or wrong, or being judgemental but I'm interested in what other people think about those on their friends list.

Being friends gives us access to more pics which is great if that's all you want.

But am I the only one who treats friends like they are more than just random people we can see naked?

Is it weird that I regularly ask them how their day is, if they are ok, and just make conversation and get to know them better.

Judge me people, am I being needy and stupid because I think I must be

You use the site as you like and you’ll naturally find and stay in contact with those who want similar.

I don’t mind check ins but not here for friends. I use it for sex and the odd forum browse.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"There's threads i don't join in now because i know I'll be ignored too, even if i try to make a funny post.

Oh well - NEXT!

CG the force is strong in you. your posts display the quickest and sharpest humour and I've always read them with a smile...

Me too, just because people don’t reply doesn’t mean you’re not noticed, honestly. "

You guys are awesome.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't feel so bad now, just had 'a moment'(probably because my football team lost)

I'm glad I'm not the only one like this though. As I said I'm not judging, we all have our own reasons for being 'friends'

I guess it's upto me to be more selective of the friends I invite/accept

Or just spend more time in forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to try and keep my friends list to people I have contact with away from Fab too because I'm rubbish with my inbox. I'm more likely to contact someone by phone or on telegram than I am on Fab.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I don't feel so bad now, just had 'a moment'(probably because my football team lost)

I'm glad I'm not the only one like this though. As I said I'm not judging, we all have our own reasons for being 'friends'

I guess it's upto me to be more selective of the friends I invite/accept

Or just spend more time in forums "

One note from me you (& others) - you'll probably lose more 'friends' than you'll keep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, if I'm reading this correctly, then you're upset because other people excerise their freedom of choice and have different preferences from you and use the site differently from you? I'd say maybe choose your "friends" more wisely in that case and ask them how they view being a friend before you add them fella?

They act like friends to start with it's only in time that you find out if they are or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep it to people I’ve met or very likely to meet / arranged to meet when we can.

I have a long hotlist of friends too... I have some that are very close and we talk daily about all sorts. I have some that haven’t spoke for a while and usually when we do start speaking again we’re both apologising for not keeping in touch just been busy etc.

But it doesn’t bother me if we don’t speak either for a amount of time there are so many reasons why it’s completely understandable to me especially over the last year

try not to over think it. I think you can generally tell who is your “friend”.

I like the quote -

“Friends are like stars... You don’t always see them but you know they are always there...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happy to be friends with anyone.

Not sure why they are friends with me though

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I don't feel so bad now, just had 'a moment'(probably because my football team lost)

I'm glad I'm not the only one like this though. As I said I'm not judging, we all have our own reasons for being 'friends'

I guess it's upto me to be more selective of the friends I invite/accept

Or just spend more time in forums "

Fuck it OP, we all have moments when things are disproportionately upsetting, x

Spend more time in the forum talking to people, don't instigate all the conversations and questions in your friendships, it's a two way thing. Maybe their way of being Fab friends isn't compatible with yours, it doesn't make either wrong, just not suited. Fingers crossed you find friends who do bring you happy.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"There's threads i don't join in now because i know I'll be ignored too, even if i try to make a funny post.

Oh well - NEXT!

CG the force is strong in you. your posts display the quickest and sharpest humour and I've always read them with a smile...

I second that. I don't reply to them but never fail to make me smile from the feel good factor behind them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Happy to be friends with anyone.

Not sure why they are friends with me though "

Because you are actually a nice person. You make me smile. Oh yes,and you owe me a drink

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By *razzyhorseMan
over a year ago

cambridge

OP you've summed it up superbly.

Consider any friends on here to be "actual friends" and all that it brings.

Maybe I'm being a little naive but I'm not going to change the way I consider or respect those on my friends list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people have very different ideas about this don't they?

Foe me.. I'll add people as friends if we have chatted, and are considering meeting.. And then, regardless of whether we do, they will stay on the friends list.. And I'll usually catch-up with a few messages with them every now and again.. Although.. if we do meet, then it's likely I will have them on WhatsApp or something anyway, so no need to message on here.

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

Most on our friends list are friends we have met and still stay in touch with, there’s only a couple of people on it who we haven’t met but we have chatted to for years. Only got face pics on there anyway so when we get asked to be friends randomly by people we just tell them there’s no porno pics on there anyway

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

My friends list is people I've met, or people I like chatting to. It's not very long and I clear it out now & then if they don't chat.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Nearly all of my friends list I have met or have plans in place to meet in the future, I'll add a occasional one if a new connection is made but am equally happy to strip them out If the natural fade occurs.

I do chat to most of my friends on other platforms rather than fab though, here is mostly forum games and general chit chat messages

Use your friends list as best it suit you and having a clear out can be sooo refreshing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had people accept my friends request but ignore me when messaging them

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I think some people get far too emotional about Fab. I’ve got friends on my list I’ve met and some I’ve not met. I find that some in my friends list will only message me if I’ve sent them a message first. I’ve no friends only pics as men were sending me FRs just to see pics but I’ve none so it doesn’t happen now. I wouldn’t send friends messages every day as I simply haven’t the time, I have a life away from Fab.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I deleted most"friends" recently, not because they have done anything wrong or I am disappointed but because I am no longer in touch with them and so, to me, it makes no sense to share intimate pictures any longer.

It was a practical rather than an emotional decision.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"I deleted most"friends" recently, not because they have done anything wrong or I am disappointed but because I am no longer in touch with them and so, to me, it makes no sense to share intimate pictures any longer.

It was a practical rather than an emotional decision. "

Exactly this

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