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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'm gonna to have a shower. I do do that cleaning thing on my body, it's just my mouth that needs washing out with soap.

Fuck knows why people get that impression. Bunch o' cunts.

Anywhooooo, I'm all regal.... and lazy, so I'm taking applications for a back and crack washer, not forgetting the important task of rubbing me all over with coconut oil afterwards.

Hit me up buttercup

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Not sure what to write here other than your post made me laugh. Thank you.

Some of you ladies are so funny. It's such a good quality to have.

Mrs

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Not sure what to write here other than your post made me laugh. Thank you.

Some of you ladies are so funny. It's such a good quality to have.

Mrs"

Without my humour and shoes, I have nothing

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

Ahh ffffsssss

Does it have to be coconut oil?????

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Ahh ffffsssss

Does it have to be coconut oil????? "

Yo, this is me, it ain't gonna be fucking virgin oil is it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha very funny post

I would like to fill out a application forum

My qualifications is

I am meant to be really good at back massages

And I promise not to steal you knickers lol

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Ha ha very funny post

I would like to fill out a application forum

My qualifications is

I am meant to be really good at back massages

And I promise not to steal you knickers lol "

I know what you're like Nat, I'll leave a gusset slug in my undercrackers as an extra de-thievery precaution

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ha ha very funny post

I would like to fill out a application forum

My qualifications is

I am meant to be really good at back massages

And I promise not to steal you knickers lol

I know what you're like Nat, I'll leave a gusset slug in my undercrackers as an extra de-thievery precaution "

Ha ha lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll fetch the turps from the shed

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ll fetch the turps from the shed"

What a fucking liberty!

And mighty good plan. Can't be too careful, bring a nose peg too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to apply for this job

I have my own uniform of hot pants, fishnet vest and fur trimmed marigolds

I’ll also make you toast after

And a 15min head massage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ll fetch the turps from the shed

What a fucking liberty!

And mighty good plan. Can't be too careful, bring a nose bag too."

Jeez, nose bag!

It’s a big job if I need a packed lunch.

How fucking bigs your arse got in lockdown??

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I have an annoying tuft of hair on my gooch. So if I scratch your back you can attend to mine if that’s ok?

You just need to get right up there please.

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Not got coconut oil will Malibu do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like to apply for this job

I have my own uniform of hot pants, fishnet vest and fur trimmed marigolds

I’ll also make you toast after

And a 15min head massage. "

Any chance of toast and a head massage?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I would like to apply for this job

I have my own uniform of hot pants, fishnet vest and fur trimmed marigolds

I’ll also make you toast after

And a 15min head massage. "

Oh my.. Will you also scratch my back and make me replicate a sealion? I think I got a damp gusset.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh "

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have coconut smelling sun cream will that do?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ll fetch the turps from the shed

What a fucking liberty!

And mighty good plan. Can't be too careful, bring a nose bag too.

Jeez, nose bag!

It’s a big job if I need a packed lunch.

How fucking bigs your arse got in lockdown??"

Well these darkened days have fuck all to do with it being winter put it that way.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I have an annoying tuft of hair on my gooch. So if I scratch your back you can attend to mine if that’s ok?

You just need to get right up there please.

"

Gaffa tape alright?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Not got coconut oil will Malibu do "

Hmmm, so long as there's also pineapple and flowers.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I have coconut smelling sun cream will that do?"

You trying to remind me of my last holiday? 2003... ahhh the good old days.

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

That will be for the others in that shower

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you like to borrow my sexy new young man to help out?

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks


"I have an annoying tuft of hair on my gooch. So if I scratch your back you can attend to mine if that’s ok?

You just need to get right up there please.

Gaffa tape alright?"

Ah a connoisseur I see before me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ll fetch the turps from the shed

What a fucking liberty!

And mighty good plan. Can't be too careful, bring a nose bag too.

Jeez, nose bag!

It’s a big job if I need a packed lunch.

How fucking bigs your arse got in lockdown??

Well these darkened days have fuck all to do with it being winter put it that way. "

Short stuff...forget the shower.

I’d gladly lick your sweaty crack clean, wrap you up in a warm blanket then make you a luxurious pot noodle.

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara


"Ahh ffffsssss

Does it have to be coconut oil?????

Yo, this is me, it ain't gonna be fucking virgin oil is it!

"

no true, what about tea tree or something like that, or home made oils with a hi t of Ginger

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Would you like to borrow my sexy new young man to help out?"

It's fine. I have Samuel as my slave boy now.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I have an annoying tuft of hair on my gooch. So if I scratch your back you can attend to mine if that’s ok?

You just need to get right up there please.

Gaffa tape alright?

Ah a connoisseur I see before me. "

You know it babe!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I have felt pretty shitty for a bit and Sophie the darling ran my bath and plonked me in it earlier, then washed my back. I can lend her to you if you like?

Bath running skills 8/10

Back washing 10/10

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ll fetch the turps from the shed

What a fucking liberty!

And mighty good plan. Can't be too careful, bring a nose bag too.

Jeez, nose bag!

It’s a big job if I need a packed lunch.

How fucking bigs your arse got in lockdown??

Well these darkened days have fuck all to do with it being winter put it that way.

Short stuff...forget the shower.

I’d gladly lick your sweaty crack clean, wrap you up in a warm blanket then make you a luxurious pot noodle."

I think my clitorati just got tasered.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Ahh ffffsssss

Does it have to be coconut oil?????

Yo, this is me, it ain't gonna be fucking virgin oil is it!

no true, what about tea tree or something like that, or home made oils with a hi t of Ginger "

Tea tree?! I ain't got cunting fleas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would you like to borrow my sexy new young man to help out?

It's fine. I have Samuel as my slave boy now."

Well

I was expecting a feistier response than that!!

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Well I have felt pretty shitty for a bit and Sophie the darling ran my bath and plonked me in it earlier, then washed my back. I can lend her to you if you like?

Bath running skills 8/10

Back washing 10/10

"

Can't knock 10/10 back washing skillage. Radox me up!

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By *d4funtimesMan
over a year ago

Cambridge


"I'm gonna to have a shower. I do do that cleaning thing on my body, it's just my mouth that needs washing out with soap.

Fuck knows why people get that impression. Bunch o' cunts.

Anywhooooo, I'm all regal.... and lazy, so I'm taking applications for a back and crack washer, not forgetting the important task of rubbing me all over with coconut oil afterwards.

Hit me up buttercup "

mmmm fingers flirting on your sexy curves with all the coconut oil. Very inviting.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Fuck sake...we're mates and all and you know I'd do fucking anything for you....but I'm making like Meatloaf right now!!

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I'm gonna to have a shower. I do do that cleaning thing on my body, it's just my mouth that needs washing out with soap.

Fuck knows why people get that impression. Bunch o' cunts.

Anywhooooo, I'm all regal.... and lazy, so I'm taking applications for a back and crack washer, not forgetting the important task of rubbing me all over with coconut oil afterwards.

Hit me up buttercup

mmmm fingers flirting on your sexy curves with all the coconut oil. Very inviting. "

Oh I wouldn't be able to feel your fingers. You've seen the gloves up to the shoulder when a farmer births a calf right?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Fuck sake...we're mates and all and you know I'd do fucking anything for you....but I'm making like Meatloaf right now!! "

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Not sure what to write here other than your post made me laugh. Thank you.

Some of you ladies are so funny. It's such a good quality to have.

Mrs

Without my humour and shoes, I have nothing "

Nah. You have hair. Really cool hair

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Not sure what to write here other than your post made me laugh. Thank you.

Some of you ladies are so funny. It's such a good quality to have.

Mrs

Without my humour and shoes, I have nothing

Nah. You have hair. Really cool hair "

Really heavy when wet hair.

I also need a Barnet carrier

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Did not know they had showers in Tooting learn something every day

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I’ve got a toilet brush to use as a crack washer. How picky are you about it being clean?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ve got a toilet brush to use as a crack washer. How picky are you about it being clean? "

I was thinking more along the line of a hay bale. Don't wanna lose the toilet brush

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Did not know they had showers in Tooting learn something every day "

Meteor ones

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By *iscreteSteMan
over a year ago

Blackpool


"I'm gonna to have a shower. I do do that cleaning thing on my body, it's just my mouth that needs washing out with soap.

Fuck knows why people get that impression. Bunch o' cunts.

Anywhooooo, I'm all regal.... and lazy, so I'm taking applications for a back and crack washer, not forgetting the important task of rubbing me all over with coconut oil afterwards.

Hit me up buttercup "

I hereby apply for the position advertised!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can offer a bag o' chips and a porn star martini and that's my final offer.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I'm gonna to have a shower. I do do that cleaning thing on my body, it's just my mouth that needs washing out with soap.

Fuck knows why people get that impression. Bunch o' cunts.

Anywhooooo, I'm all regal.... and lazy, so I'm taking applications for a back and crack washer, not forgetting the important task of rubbing me all over with coconut oil afterwards.

Hit me up buttercup

I hereby apply for the position advertised! "

Do you have a cowboy hat, nose bag, malibu, flowers, pineapple, hay bale, gaffa tape, meatloaf album, toast, radox, flea spray, Barnet carrier and a cuddly toy?

There may be more but that's all I could remember off the top of my head

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"I’ve got a toilet brush to use as a crack washer. How picky are you about it being clean?

I was thinking more along the line of a hay bale. Don't wanna lose the toilet brush "

I’m on it!

The local drive through car wash is closing down so they’ve got some of those massive blue bristle spinning things for sale. What do you think - go big or go home?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I can offer a bag o' chips and a porn star martini and that's my final offer."

Oooooooooo, keep the chips as a tip.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ve got a toilet brush to use as a crack washer. How picky are you about it being clean?

I was thinking more along the line of a hay bale. Don't wanna lose the toilet brush

I’m on it!

The local drive through car wash is closing down so they’ve got some of those massive blue bristle spinning things for sale. What do you think - go big or go home? "

Just the job them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can offer a bag o' chips and a porn star martini and that's my final offer.

Oooooooooo, keep the chips as a tip."

Bargain

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I can offer a bag o' chips and a porn star martini and that's my final offer.

Oooooooooo, keep the chips as a tip.

Bargain"

We're talking a pitcher rather than a glass tho yeah?

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Lady you do make me laugh a lot sometimes!

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"I’ve got a toilet brush to use as a crack washer. How picky are you about it being clean?

I was thinking more along the line of a hay bale. Don't wanna lose the toilet brush

I’m on it!

The local drive through car wash is closing down so they’ve got some of those massive blue bristle spinning things for sale. What do you think - go big or go home?

Just the job them!"

Cool, I’ll bring a cotton bud to do your arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can offer a bag o' chips and a porn star martini and that's my final offer.

Oooooooooo, keep the chips as a tip.

Bargain

We're talking a pitcher rather than a glass tho yeah?"

No point making just one. What do you take me for. If you're gonna get wet you may as well go swimming.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooooft what a dream job that would be

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Lady you do make me laugh a lot sometimes! "

ohhhhh go on then, I'll let you talc my toosh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall "

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ve got a toilet brush to use as a crack washer. How picky are you about it being clean?

I was thinking more along the line of a hay bale. Don't wanna lose the toilet brush

I’m on it!

The local drive through car wash is closing down so they’ve got some of those massive blue bristle spinning things for sale. What do you think - go big or go home?

Just the job them!

Cool, I’ll bring a cotton bud to do your arse "

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I can offer a bag o' chips and a porn star martini and that's my final offer.

Oooooooooo, keep the chips as a tip.

Bargain

We're talking a pitcher rather than a glass tho yeah?

No point making just one. What do you take me for. If you're gonna get wet you may as well go swimming. "

I'll even leave the armbands in the shed.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Oooooft what a dream job that would be "

Normal people say nightmare. That means you're not right in the noggin.

Welcome aboard the crazy train. Choo fucking chooooooooo

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Are you all soft and tucked up now? All this talk of coconut oil I've had to have a bounty bar....at 11.15pm....want a bit? (You cunt)

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"Lady you do make me laugh a lot sometimes!

ohhhhh go on then, I'll let you talc my toosh "

With a fluffy puff pad?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it "

My shed fell down and blew away. How bizarre of it, I'm sure it heard me talking about turning it into an outdoor sex room.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Are you all soft and tucked up now? All this talk of coconut oil I've had to have a bounty bar....at 11.15pm....want a bit? (You cunt) "

Nah, I've been too busy doing my own bloody admin. Gonna be midnight before I get steamy!

I'll share it cheers cunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it

My shed fell down and blew away. How bizarre of it, I'm sure it heard me talking about turning it into an outdoor sex room. "

I’m sorry. I’m out. Sheds are beneath me

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Lady you do make me laugh a lot sometimes!

ohhhhh go on then, I'll let you talc my toosh

With a fluffy puff pad? "

Yes yes yes make my arse look like a geisha girl

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it

My shed fell down and blew away. How bizarre of it, I'm sure it heard me talking about turning it into an outdoor sex room.

I’m sorry. I’m out. Sheds are beneath me "

fine, I'll bust my kitchen instead

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By *iscreteSteMan
over a year ago

Blackpool


"I'm gonna to have a shower. I do do that cleaning thing on my body, it's just my mouth that needs washing out with soap.

Fuck knows why people get that impression. Bunch o' cunts.

Anywhooooo, I'm all regal.... and lazy, so I'm taking applications for a back and crack washer, not forgetting the important task of rubbing me all over with coconut oil afterwards.

Hit me up buttercup

I hereby apply for the position advertised!

Do you have a cowboy hat, nose bag, malibu, flowers, pineapple, hay bale, gaffa tape, meatloaf album, toast, radox, flea spray, Barnet carrier and a cuddly toy?

There may be more but that's all I could remember off the top of my head "

I can acquire all the aforementioned items

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oooooft what a dream job that would be

Normal people say nightmare. That means you're not right in the noggin.

Welcome aboard the crazy train. Choo fucking chooooooooo "

Choo fucking chooooooo indeed All aboard the crazy train

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it

My shed fell down and blew away. How bizarre of it, I'm sure it heard me talking about turning it into an outdoor sex room.

I’m sorry. I’m out. Sheds are beneath me

fine, I'll bust my kitchen instead "

You want a new kitchen now

This all started with mutual washterbation. Xx

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I'm gonna to have a shower. I do do that cleaning thing on my body, it's just my mouth that needs washing out with soap.

Fuck knows why people get that impression. Bunch o' cunts.

Anywhooooo, I'm all regal.... and lazy, so I'm taking applications for a back and crack washer, not forgetting the important task of rubbing me all over with coconut oil afterwards.

Hit me up buttercup

I hereby apply for the position advertised!

Do you have a cowboy hat, nose bag, malibu, flowers, pineapple, hay bale, gaffa tape, meatloaf album, toast, radox, flea spray, Barnet carrier and a cuddly toy?

There may be more but that's all I could remember off the top of my head

I can acquire all the aforementioned items"

Excellent, there's also now a crazy train, geisha girl, cotton bud, big blue car wash brush, half eaten bounty, pitcher of pornstar martini, outdoor sex room and a new kitchen.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Oooooft what a dream job that would be

Normal people say nightmare. That means you're not right in the noggin.

Welcome aboard the crazy train. Choo fucking chooooooooo

Choo fucking chooooooo indeed All aboard the crazy train "

Kapow, get off at Mingeville. It's the stop before Pile Street. Bring yer damn boots too, I wanna end up in A&E my first fuck back after being practically monogamous for 2 years and heart broken for 1.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it

My shed fell down and blew away. How bizarre of it, I'm sure it heard me talking about turning it into an outdoor sex room.

I’m sorry. I’m out. Sheds are beneath me

fine, I'll bust my kitchen instead

You want a new kitchen now

This all started with mutual washterbation. Xx"

Mutual washterbation. That's fucking cracking that.

Being as I like you you can just help me hang a few doors. They're still off after my carpet being laid. I think they need shaving

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it

My shed fell down and blew away. How bizarre of it, I'm sure it heard me talking about turning it into an outdoor sex room.

I’m sorry. I’m out. Sheds are beneath me

fine, I'll bust my kitchen instead

You want a new kitchen now

This all started with mutual washterbation. Xx

Mutual washterbation. That's fucking cracking that.

Being as I like you you can just help me hang a few doors. They're still off after my carpet being laid. I think they need shaving "

Can I pluck them? I’m big into plucking nowadays.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it

My shed fell down and blew away. How bizarre of it, I'm sure it heard me talking about turning it into an outdoor sex room.

I’m sorry. I’m out. Sheds are beneath me

fine, I'll bust my kitchen instead

You want a new kitchen now

This all started with mutual washterbation. Xx

Mutual washterbation. That's fucking cracking that.

Being as I like you you can just help me hang a few doors. They're still off after my carpet being laid. I think they need shaving

Can I pluck them? I’m big into plucking nowadays. "

Pluck what ya like. Could be an ingrower right next to my balloon knot that needs extracting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it

My shed fell down and blew away. How bizarre of it, I'm sure it heard me talking about turning it into an outdoor sex room.

I’m sorry. I’m out. Sheds are beneath me

fine, I'll bust my kitchen instead

You want a new kitchen now

This all started with mutual washterbation. Xx

Mutual washterbation. That's fucking cracking that.

Being as I like you you can just help me hang a few doors. They're still off after my carpet being laid. I think they need shaving

Can I pluck them? I’m big into plucking nowadays.

Pluck what ya like. Could be an ingrower right next to my balloon knot that needs extracting "

I get in close and concentrate on that then.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it

My shed fell down and blew away. How bizarre of it, I'm sure it heard me talking about turning it into an outdoor sex room.

I’m sorry. I’m out. Sheds are beneath me

fine, I'll bust my kitchen instead

You want a new kitchen now

This all started with mutual washterbation. Xx

Mutual washterbation. That's fucking cracking that.

Being as I like you you can just help me hang a few doors. They're still off after my carpet being laid. I think they need shaving

Can I pluck them? I’m big into plucking nowadays.

Pluck what ya like. Could be an ingrower right next to my balloon knot that needs extracting

I get in close and concentrate on that then. "

Purrrrrfect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it

My shed fell down and blew away. How bizarre of it, I'm sure it heard me talking about turning it into an outdoor sex room.

I’m sorry. I’m out. Sheds are beneath me

fine, I'll bust my kitchen instead

You want a new kitchen now

This all started with mutual washterbation. Xx

Mutual washterbation. That's fucking cracking that.

Being as I like you you can just help me hang a few doors. They're still off after my carpet being laid. I think they need shaving

Can I pluck them? I’m big into plucking nowadays.

Pluck what ya like. Could be an ingrower right next to my balloon knot that needs extracting

I get in close and concentrate on that then.

Purrrrrfect "

Mmmm. Love it when she purrrrs. You must teach me how to. I’m still untouched.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it

My shed fell down and blew away. How bizarre of it, I'm sure it heard me talking about turning it into an outdoor sex room.

I’m sorry. I’m out. Sheds are beneath me

fine, I'll bust my kitchen instead

You want a new kitchen now

This all started with mutual washterbation. Xx

Mutual washterbation. That's fucking cracking that.

Being as I like you you can just help me hang a few doors. They're still off after my carpet being laid. I think they need shaving

Can I pluck them? I’m big into plucking nowadays.

Pluck what ya like. Could be an ingrower right next to my balloon knot that needs extracting

I get in close and concentrate on that then.

Purrrrrfect

Mmmm. Love it when she purrrrs. You must teach me how to. I’m still untouched. "

Oh Rach, I try to roll my rrrrrrs. My chuff is more of a growl than a purr. I'm not sure if it's angry, hungry or letting off a warning in all honesty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it

My shed fell down and blew away. How bizarre of it, I'm sure it heard me talking about turning it into an outdoor sex room.

I’m sorry. I’m out. Sheds are beneath me

fine, I'll bust my kitchen instead

You want a new kitchen now

This all started with mutual washterbation. Xx

Mutual washterbation. That's fucking cracking that.

Being as I like you you can just help me hang a few doors. They're still off after my carpet being laid. I think they need shaving

Can I pluck them? I’m big into plucking nowadays.

Pluck what ya like. Could be an ingrower right next to my balloon knot that needs extracting

I get in close and concentrate on that then.

Purrrrrfect

Mmmm. Love it when she purrrrs. You must teach me how to. I’m still untouched.

Oh Rach, I try to roll my rrrrrrs. My chuff is more of a growl than a purr. I'm not sure if it's angry, hungry or letting off a warning in all honesty."

You’d have to be gentle with me. I’m delivery mileage

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I’ll join you in the shower if you’re up for it.

I’m pretty sure we’ll have a right laugh

Damn straight. I got a gran rail and everything. Did have 2 but yanked one off during coitus and had to replace the wall

Ah. Well, as you know, if we break anything I can fix it

My shed fell down and blew away. How bizarre of it, I'm sure it heard me talking about turning it into an outdoor sex room.

I’m sorry. I’m out. Sheds are beneath me

fine, I'll bust my kitchen instead

You want a new kitchen now

This all started with mutual washterbation. Xx

Mutual washterbation. That's fucking cracking that.

Being as I like you you can just help me hang a few doors. They're still off after my carpet being laid. I think they need shaving

Can I pluck them? I’m big into plucking nowadays.

Pluck what ya like. Could be an ingrower right next to my balloon knot that needs extracting

I get in close and concentrate on that then.

Purrrrrfect

Mmmm. Love it when she purrrrs. You must teach me how to. I’m still untouched.

Oh Rach, I try to roll my rrrrrrs. My chuff is more of a growl than a purr. I'm not sure if it's angry, hungry or letting off a warning in all honesty.

You’d have to be gentle with me. I’m delivery mileage "

Gentle. I can do gentle.

I CAN do gentle.

Just giving myself a pep talk.

Softly softly .....

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By *iscreteSteMan
over a year ago

Blackpool


"I'm gonna to have a shower. I do do that cleaning thing on my body, it's just my mouth that needs washing out with soap.

Fuck knows why people get that impression. Bunch o' cunts.

Anywhooooo, I'm all regal.... and lazy, so I'm taking applications for a back and crack washer, not forgetting the important task of rubbing me all over with coconut oil afterwards.

Hit me up buttercup

I hereby apply for the position advertised!

Do you have a cowboy hat, nose bag, malibu, flowers, pineapple, hay bale, gaffa tape, meatloaf album, toast, radox, flea spray, Barnet carrier and a cuddly toy?

There may be more but that's all I could remember off the top of my head

I can acquire all the aforementioned items

Excellent, there's also now a crazy train, geisha girl, cotton bud, big blue car wash brush, half eaten bounty, pitcher of pornstar martini, outdoor sex room and a new kitchen."

Consider it done!

I might have to "borrow" a couple of the itemsa though LOL

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I'm gonna to have a shower. I do do that cleaning thing on my body, it's just my mouth that needs washing out with soap.

Fuck knows why people get that impression. Bunch o' cunts.

Anywhooooo, I'm all regal.... and lazy, so I'm taking applications for a back and crack washer, not forgetting the important task of rubbing me all over with coconut oil afterwards.

Hit me up buttercup

I hereby apply for the position advertised!

Do you have a cowboy hat, nose bag, malibu, flowers, pineapple, hay bale, gaffa tape, meatloaf album, toast, radox, flea spray, Barnet carrier and a cuddly toy?

There may be more but that's all I could remember off the top of my head

I can acquire all the aforementioned items

Excellent, there's also now a crazy train, geisha girl, cotton bud, big blue car wash brush, half eaten bounty, pitcher of pornstar martini, outdoor sex room and a new kitchen.

Consider it done!

I might have to "borrow" a couple of the itemsa though LOL"

I think that sounds highly likely

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By *iscreteSteMan
over a year ago

Blackpool


"I'm gonna to have a shower. I do do that cleaning thing on my body, it's just my mouth that needs washing out with soap.

Fuck knows why people get that impression. Bunch o' cunts.

Anywhooooo, I'm all regal.... and lazy, so I'm taking applications for a back and crack washer, not forgetting the important task of rubbing me all over with coconut oil afterwards.

Hit me up buttercup

I hereby apply for the position advertised!

Do you have a cowboy hat, nose bag, malibu, flowers, pineapple, hay bale, gaffa tape, meatloaf album, toast, radox, flea spray, Barnet carrier and a cuddly toy?

There may be more but that's all I could remember off the top of my head

I can acquire all the aforementioned items

Excellent, there's also now a crazy train, geisha girl, cotton bud, big blue car wash brush, half eaten bounty, pitcher of pornstar martini, outdoor sex room and a new kitchen.

Consider it done!

I might have to "borrow" a couple of the itemsa though LOL

I think that sounds highly likely "

Almost 100%, but I can allow that to detere me hahaha

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I'm gonna to have a shower. I do do that cleaning thing on my body, it's just my mouth that needs washing out with soap.

Fuck knows why people get that impression. Bunch o' cunts.

Anywhooooo, I'm all regal.... and lazy, so I'm taking applications for a back and crack washer, not forgetting the important task of rubbing me all over with coconut oil afterwards.

Hit me up buttercup

I hereby apply for the position advertised!

Do you have a cowboy hat, nose bag, malibu, flowers, pineapple, hay bale, gaffa tape, meatloaf album, toast, radox, flea spray, Barnet carrier and a cuddly toy?

There may be more but that's all I could remember off the top of my head

I can acquire all the aforementioned items

Excellent, there's also now a crazy train, geisha girl, cotton bud, big blue car wash brush, half eaten bounty, pitcher of pornstar martini, outdoor sex room and a new kitchen.

Consider it done!

I might have to "borrow" a couple of the itemsa though LOL

I think that sounds highly likely

Almost 100%, but I can allow that to detere me hahaha"

Exactly, it's only a little bit of theft. I mean, who's gonna miss a big blur car wash brush?!

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By *iscreteSteMan
over a year ago

Blackpool


"I'm gonna to have a shower. I do do that cleaning thing on my body, it's just my mouth that needs washing out with soap.

Fuck knows why people get that impression. Bunch o' cunts.

Anywhooooo, I'm all regal.... and lazy, so I'm taking applications for a back and crack washer, not forgetting the important task of rubbing me all over with coconut oil afterwards.

Hit me up buttercup

I hereby apply for the position advertised!

Do you have a cowboy hat, nose bag, malibu, flowers, pineapple, hay bale, gaffa tape, meatloaf album, toast, radox, flea spray, Barnet carrier and a cuddly toy?

There may be more but that's all I could remember off the top of my head

I can acquire all the aforementioned items

Excellent, there's also now a crazy train, geisha girl, cotton bud, big blue car wash brush, half eaten bounty, pitcher of pornstar martini, outdoor sex room and a new kitchen.

Consider it done!

I might have to "borrow" a couple of the itemsa though LOL

I think that sounds highly likely

Almost 100%, but I can allow that to detere me hahaha

Exactly, it's only a little bit of theft. I mean, who's gonna miss a big blur car wash brush?! "

Exactly! I'll buy them a new one, if it means that much to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure what to write here other than your post made me laugh. Thank you.

Some of you ladies are so funny. It's such a good quality to have.

Mrs

Without my humour and shoes, I have nothing "

Well .... the shoes, yes ....

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Not sure what to write here other than your post made me laugh. Thank you.

Some of you ladies are so funny. It's such a good quality to have.

Mrs

Without my humour and shoes, I have nothing

Well .... the shoes, yes ...."

Squeeze me? Le chiq!

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By *andRCouple
over a year ago

barry

We missed the boat on this one but hereby apply to be your future back and crack (and other bits) scrubbers.

He will stick to the back and crack whilst she concentrates on the front and applying the coconut oil as appropriate.

Although it will have to be at your coz we don't own a shower ( she has been banned from owning one as always gets carried away whilst under a power shower and ends up having a cheeky rub)

Xx G

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