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If the Queen has an itchy bum hole would you scratch it for her.

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By *iddlesticks OP   Man
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

Surely it’s your civic duty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it’s your civic duty. "

If I used my tongue would she taste like a postage stamp?

Her x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Would it be classed as an essential journey? Hasn't she got a groom of the stool to do that for her?

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

With a long handled implement. Sure

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By *iddlesticks OP   Man
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"Surely it’s your civic duty.

If I used my tongue would she taste like a postage stamp?

Her x"

Bound to.

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By *iddlesticks OP   Man
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"Would it be classed as an essential journey? Hasn't she got a groom of the stool to do that for her? "

Haha what a job.

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By *iddlesticks OP   Man
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"With a long handled implement. Sure "

She deserves the personal touch don’t you think.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

If you don’t, she’ll chop your ‘head’ off

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights


"With a long handled implement. Sure

She deserves the personal touch don’t you think. "

Nooooooooo

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I’d rim her. Not many folk could have that on their gravestone

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By *iddlesticks OP   Man
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"With a long handled implement. Sure

She deserves the personal touch don’t you think.

Nooooooooo "

I once saw on antiques roadshow a bone handle bum hole scratcher that had been given to Queen Victoria by the people of Manchuria.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Would it be classed as an essential journey? Hasn't she got a groom of the stool to do that for her?

Haha what a job. "

I believe it's where the sayings "the wrong end of the stick" and "getting the shitty end of the stick" come from

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d rim her. Not many folk could have that on their gravestone "

By Royal Appointment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d rim her. Not many folk could have that on their gravestone

By Royal Appointment "

You could get the crest tattooed on your bum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For a million and cup of royal tea

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

the title very nearly fits the tune

if i said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me ...

.

.

bet thats stuck in your head now you're welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thought that's what the corgi's were for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thought that's what the corgi's were for? "

I’m laughing so much on this thread I’m going to end up in the tower!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this not one of Philips duties

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By *iddlesticks OP   Man
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"I’d rim her. Not many folk could have that on their gravestone

By Royal Appointment "

Regal Rectum Reliever.

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By *iddlesticks OP   Man
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"the title very nearly fits the tune

if i said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me ...

.

.

bet thats stuck in your head now you're welcome "

It is

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By *iddlesticks OP   Man
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"Is this not one of Philips duties "

He’s getting a bit old for it now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this not one of Philips duties

He’s getting a bit old for it now "

Andrew needs something to do now I hear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it’s your civic duty.

If I used my tongue would she taste like a postage stamp?

Her x"

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By *iddlesticks OP   Man
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"Is this not one of Philips duties

He’s getting a bit old for it now

Andrew needs something to do now I hear "

He’d probably end up fisting her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this not one of Philips duties

He’s getting a bit old for it now

Andrew needs something to do now I hear

He’d probably end up fisting her. "

Well, that's certainly one way to get rid of a rectal itch

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By *d4fun73Man
over a year ago

Shipley

Henry the viii had a arse wiper so she's probably got that covered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this not one of Philips duties

He’s getting a bit old for it now

Andrew needs something to do now I hear "

Right up his street x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this not one of Philips duties

He’s getting a bit old for it now

Andrew needs something to do now I hear

Right up his street x "

To be fair, she might be a bit too old now

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Surely there's no end of flunkies wanting to crawl up her arse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Henry the viii had a arse wiper so she's probably got that covered. "

Yes it was regarded the highest honour a lot of people sought after the position as it was said they were able to influence and manipulate him on political agendas while he was deep in thought on the toilet

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By *iddlesticks OP   Man
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"Surely there's no end of flunkies wanting to crawl up her arse?"

If that’s what started the itch, she’s trying to get them out.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"I’d rim her. Not many folk could have that on their gravestone

By Royal Appointment

You could get the crest tattooed on your bum "

Here lies Mystique. Once rimmed Her Majesty.

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By *iddlesticks OP   Man
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"Henry the viii had a arse wiper so she's probably got that covered.

Yes it was regarded the highest honour a lot of people sought after the position as it was said they were able to influence and manipulate him on political agendas while he was deep in thought on the toilet "

There is some sense in that.

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By *d4fun73Man
over a year ago

Shipley


"Henry the viii had a arse wiper so she's probably got that covered.

Yes it was regarded the highest honour a lot of people sought after the position as it was said they were able to influence and manipulate him on political agendas while he was deep in thought on the toilet "

What makes me chuckle about this, is that there will be some Duke /duchess Earl etc of wherever that can trace their history back to being an arse wiper!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d rim her. Not many folk could have that on their gravestone

By Royal Appointment

You could get the crest tattooed on your bum

Here lies Mystique. Once rimmed Her Majesty. "

What an accolade lol

... and his parents were so proud ... had a photo of said event on their fireplace

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By *dam and slutCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

I'd scratch it with a cactus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awww don’t lol

She’s lovely ... well when Olivia Colman plays her (there’s something about her mouth )

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By *iddlesticks OP   Man
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.


"Awww don’t lol

She’s lovely ... well when Olivia Colman plays her (there’s something about her mouth )"

I’d scratch Olivia Colman’s bum. I bet she’d make it a funny experience.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Surely it’s your civic duty. "

You’ve a weird mind that’s for sure

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By *errero RochelleWoman
over a year ago

Chocoville

Nah. I only scratch my ass.

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