FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Alcohol

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all. I realise Alcohol is a large part of people's lives.

Well my question is this.when is Alcohol too much in a relationship. Please share your experiences, good or bad and has it ever broken up your relationship. Im sure there's plenty of stories to tell us about.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, alcohol was part of the reason the relationship with my ex failed.

When he was d*unk he'd get abusive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Yep!

I won't meet people that drink regularly now based on the behaviour of my ex, and I'm genuinely fearful of those who drink and consider it "the norm"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford

I don't know exactly but I would think if one partner is going straight to the drink cabinet after work, insists on getting bladdered every night and can't go a day without a glass of wine gin or beer inside them .. Then you have trouble brewing ..often getting d*unk is a good way of avoiding talking about or facing things that are really bothering you.. Especially for us men.. So we drink to avoid it.. And the irony is that your partner does the same for the same reason.. If it happened to me I would leave.. Pointless trying to continue..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alcohol was the sole reason I left my ex. Nightmare. Functioning alcoholic is so much harder to identify and making them see the alcoholism still isn’t ok just because they function.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I don't know exactly but I would think if one partner is going straight to the drink cabinet after work, insists on getting bladdered every night and can't go a day without a glass of wine gin or beer inside them .. Then you have trouble brewing ..often getting d*unk is a good way of avoiding talking about or facing things that are really bothering you.. Especially for us men.. So we drink to avoid it.. And the irony is that your partner does the same for the same reason.. If it happened to me I would leave.. Pointless trying to continue..

"

It's not about getting d*unk.

Sometimes it's prioritising alcohol. You don't need to get pissed up to have a problem.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Have no personal experience with alcohol as I don't drink and never have done ever but I've seen too many people over the years who use it as a crutch.

I know people who have lost jobs and families as a result including a friend who told me 35 years ago that I wasn't a real man if I didn't have a drink. That was while I was rescuing him from yet another fuck up and getting him home safely.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

The first guy i lived with was an alcoholic. Violent and abusive. He was dead at 50

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can never understand why people drink if they know it makes them violent or abusive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Alcohol was the sole reason I left my ex. Nightmare. Functioning alcoholic is so much harder to identify and making them see the alcoholism still isn’t ok just because they function. "

This absolutely.

It's worse and you get accused of overreacting because that person can't possibly have an issue, they work they function normally. It is a lonely road to walk down with someone because alcohol comes first, your own needs when it suits.

Alchohol is a far more dangerous than any class A narcotic out there imho

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay

I'm in a relationship with alcohol, have been for years. I don't get violent or have mood swings but yes I probably am an alcoholic but it's always a question of degrees

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yep!

I won't meet people that drink regularly now based on the behaviour of my ex, and I'm genuinely fearful of those who drink and consider it "the norm"

I've always considered drinking something you do socially if meeting with friends.

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well a bit off piste but my dad who’s 71 who lives with me drinks a litre of vodka a day it’s his thing his vice and as he always tells me it’s his choice hes lived his life and now has nothing else to do so that’s his thing vodka, westerns and old movies he dose it mainly through boredom but there’s nothing he can do during lockdown although even when out of lockdown he still drinks a lot

He’s not violent just struggles a little but when it’s your thing it’s your thing just glad he’s no longer got his licence or a car lol

So I guess what I’m saying is for some it’s a way to survive the days and get through the rest of there life as long as it dosent hurt or affect others then it’s there choice and really no one should judge as the same could be said for smokers drug takers and alike each to there own vice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Alcohol was the sole reason I left my ex. Nightmare. Functioning alcoholic is so much harder to identify and making them see the alcoholism still isn’t ok just because they function.

This absolutely.

It's worse and you get accused of overreacting because that person can't possibly have an issue, they work they function normally. It is a lonely road to walk down with someone because alcohol comes first, your own needs when it suits.

Alchohol is a far more dangerous than any class A narcotic out there imho "

Yes it’s very draining and you lose a lot of yourself trying to help someone who doesn’t see their issue. Horse to water xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Alcohol was the sole reason I left my ex. Nightmare. Functioning alcoholic is so much harder to identify and making them see the alcoholism still isn’t ok just because they function.

This absolutely.

It's worse and you get accused of overreacting because that person can't possibly have an issue, they work they function normally. It is a lonely road to walk down with someone because alcohol comes first, your own needs when it suits.

Alchohol is a far more dangerous than any class A narcotic out there imho

Yes it’s very draining and you lose a lot of yourself trying to help someone who doesn’t see their issue. Horse to water xx "

So true, hope you are taking care of yourself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Wow I knew there would be some messages sent. I rarely drink really and don't understand people who drink to excess and then need a baby sitter at the end of the night.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband was an alcoholic. When we first met I knew he liked a drink, but it got progressively worse over the years. He lost work, got into fights was volatile and I spent my life tip toeing around not to provoke him. He’d promise me he’d stop, which he would do for a while. Then he’d start again and it would be worse. He died 8 years ago at the age of 42.

I always hoped he would stop, get it under control, anything. I tried to get him help but you can’t unless they want it.

Alcohol is insidious and creeps into your life and destroys it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"I don't know exactly but I would think if one partner is going straight to the drink cabinet after work, insists on getting bladdered every night and can't go a day without a glass of wine gin or beer inside them .. Then you have trouble brewing ..often getting d*unk is a good way of avoiding talking about or facing things that are really bothering you.. Especially for us men.. So we drink to avoid it.. And the irony is that your partner does the same for the same reason.. If it happened to me I would leave.. Pointless trying to continue..

It's not about getting d*unk.

Sometimes it's prioritising alcohol. You don't need to get pissed up to have a problem.

"

Not sure what you mean? The point of the thread is about alcohol having an impact on relationships.not whether you have an alcohol problem? . Though I do disagree with you I suggest a lot of people do need to do that to avoid problems in the home .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *luebellRacerCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

Not something I have to worry about. Mr Racer doesn't drink. I have the odd tipple, but very conscious of drinking habits thanks to alcoholic parent.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My husband was an alcoholic. When we first met I knew he liked a drink, but it got progressively worse over the years. He lost work, got into fights was volatile and I spent my life tip toeing around not to provoke him. He’d promise me he’d stop, which he would do for a while. Then he’d start again and it would be worse. He died 8 years ago at the age of 42.

I always hoped he would stop, get it under control, anything. I tried to get him help but you can’t unless they want it.

Alcohol is insidious and creeps into your life and destroys it."

Sorry to hear that and such a young age Aswell xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

My ex only drank in the evenings but it was every night of the 25yrs we were together. Fag in one hand, drink in the other sprawled across our 3 searer sofa in front of the tv. Most nights he would fall asleep there and i went to bed alone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When it brings out nasty, aggressive side of you and makes you not care for your responsibilities. That's when you know they lost it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My ex only drank in the evenings but it was every night of the 25yrs we were together. Fag in one hand, drink in the other sprawled across our 3 searer sofa in front of the tv. Most nights he would fall asleep there and i went to bed alone. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

I've been clean and sober for 15 years, don't miss it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Hi OP

If this post is a sounding board for something you’re starting to experience in your own relationship then I would urge you to seek the help of those who know the untold damage it can do. Seek some advice to help you recognise warning signs and how to handle it.

More importantly... how to recognise where the line is

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham


"My ex only drank in the evenings but it was every night of the 25yrs we were together. Fag in one hand, drink in the other sprawled across our 3 searer sofa in front of the tv. Most nights he would fall asleep there and i went to bed alone. "

Hope you've moved on to much happier times and have more of the life you deserve x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"My ex only drank in the evenings but it was every night of the 25yrs we were together. Fag in one hand, drink in the other sprawled across our 3 searer sofa in front of the tv. Most nights he would fall asleep there and i went to bed alone.

Hope you've moved on to much happier times and have more of the life you deserve x"

Thanks. I was having a blast before the pandemic so hopefully this will continue once it calms down.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alcohol has a lot to answer for. In moderation it's ok. But it's a demon and a marriage breaker and wrecks lifes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I very rarely drink and even when I do I'll have maybe 2 or 3 glasses of wine. Touch wood I've never had the experience with a partner who relied on alcohol.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your relationship with alcohol is your own.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anyone find themselves drinking a lot more than usual with this pandemic or am I the only one

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When it brings out nasty, aggressive side of you and makes you not care for your responsibilities. That's when you know they lost it. "

Very true.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Alcohol has a lot to answer for. In moderation it's ok. But it's a demon and a marriage breaker and wrecks lifes "

I agree very much.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alcohol ended my relationship with my dad. It can consume a person and destroy lives. There's only so much a person can take before you have no choice but to remove that toxicity from your life. If they don't want help, they can't be helped

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *raveller_87Man
over a year ago

Rossendale

I'm a recovering alcoholic. Alcohol steals so much from you. I haven't been in a relationship whilst dealing with this issue as it's all consuming and I'm 'smart' enough (maybe the wrong word) to know that I wouldn't want someone else to have to deal with that. I can see how easily it would destroy relationships.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a few alcoholics who still drink but not regularly. Alcohol, Gambling or taking drugs are the release for people who have problems. Then they deal with what made them unhappy but the addiction is still there like a crutch.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a recovering alcoholic. Alcohol steals so much from you. I haven't been in a relationship whilst dealing with this issue as it's all consuming and I'm 'smart' enough (maybe the wrong word) to know that I wouldn't want someone else to have to deal with that. I can see how easily it would destroy relationships. "

Wishing you all the luck and strength in your recovery

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ruebameMan
over a year ago

from the womb and tryout to get back

I Don't drink therfore have know comment other than it can turn the nicest of people dark

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top