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How do I dice a swede

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By *ob Carpe Diem OP   Man
over a year ago

Torquay

I mean what if you don't have power tools, what do you do, boil the damn thing whole and then cut the purple bits off?

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

Peel it with a Sharp knife then cut it with a sharp knife. Or buy it already diced.

Lou x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patience is the key.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put the whole thing in it’s skin in microwave, when it’s cooked just scoop it out and it’s ready mashed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Patience is the key."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Decent knives.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"I mean what if you don't have power tools, what do you do, boil the damn thing whole and then cut the purple bits off?"

I buy the pre packed mashed stuff which takes 5mins in the microwave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Put the whole thing in it’s skin in microwave, when it’s cooked just scoop it out and it’s ready mashed "

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By *ob Carpe Diem OP   Man
over a year ago

Torquay

Thanks, oh and it smells like cow poo, maybe not as much as the"special cheese" I was given in Belgium once, not sure that came from the udder to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I grow my own on my allotment.

Lancashire peeler and sharp kitchen knives should you want to slice n dice.

If you think you need power tools then your knives are too blunt my friend.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Was it wrong to wonder why you would want to dice up someone from Sweden?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was it wrong to wonder why you would want to dice up someone from Sweden? "

Not shag I hope!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Put the whole thing in it’s skin in microwave, when it’s cooked just scoop it out and it’s ready mashed "

They call this singing swede as it makes quite a noise while cooking I'm told.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby


"Was it wrong to wonder why you would want to dice up someone from Sweden?

Not shag I hope! "

I had no idea he was Swedish....have you seen him around lately

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Buy it diced. Life is too short. You’ll only end up cutting into it and it’ll skid across the counter top and take out your best tea cup. Nobody needs those bad vibes in their life.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I buy mine ready diced.

I stopped fighting the bloody things years ago, before I cut a finger off.

I buy diced sweet potato too.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Don't bother feed it to sheep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chop off the root and use a potato peeler on the skin. Chop into chunks and boil. Don't over-boil or it will disintegrate.

Easy innit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was it wrong to wonder why you would want to dice up someone from Sweden?

Not shag I hope!

I had no idea he was Swedish....have you seen him around lately "

Yes I think so. Doesn’t he do the “what are your Friday night plans” thread? I assume it’s him as he usually does it! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/01/21 00:02:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a decent chefs knife

Nisbets do some decent ones at ok prices, i recommend Wusthof

Cut the top and bottom off then you have a flat surface to work from using the knife to peel the skin

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By *tudiousPipWoman
over a year ago

W Yorks

I have shit knives, but manage OK! Top and tail it so it sits on the chopping board. Halve vertically. From the cut end slice diagonally to take off the skin from the top half, twizzling as you go. Turn it over and repeat. You'll now have half a swede that's mostly peeled on the top and bottom halves. The middle bit will now peel like a potato cos it's not tethered either side.

Then cut into dice chunks.

Lovely in a stew!

And if you need a dumpling tutorial I'm your gal. Super cheap, super easy!

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I have shit knives, but manage OK! Top and tail it so it sits on the chopping board. Halve vertically. From the cut end slice diagonally to take off the skin from the top half, twizzling as you go. Turn it over and repeat. You'll now have half a swede that's mostly peeled on the top and bottom halves. The middle bit will now peel like a potato cos it's not tethered either side.

Then cut into dice chunks.

Lovely in a stew!

And if you need a dumpling tutorial I'm your gal. Super cheap, super easy!"

Ask shag tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Decent knives are they key , I can’t be having people buying ready chopped vegetables, what is the world coming to !

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By *ritladMan
over a year ago

Taunton

Was really hoping that was a euphemism

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By *tudiousPipWoman
over a year ago

W Yorks


" Ask shag tonight"

I really don't understand this reply!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Honey roast swede with chilli

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"Decent knives are they key , I can’t be having people buying ready chopped vegetables, what is the world coming to ! "

To me it makes more sense and less hassle. Frozen veg is great too and has all the goodness of fresh.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss


"Put the whole thing in it’s skin in microwave, when it’s cooked just scoop it out and it’s ready mashed "

I do this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First you have to be the swede, know what it’s thinking, it’s hopes and desires only then will the swede Acquiesce with you.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham


"Buy it diced. Life is too short. You’ll only end up cutting into it and it’ll skid across the counter top and take out your best tea cup. Nobody needs those bad vibes in their life.

"

Hahaha this made me laugh. Totally understand this, been there a few times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only realised this Burn's Night that the 'neeps' in neeps and tatties is actually swede, rather than turnips.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I feel a sense of pride when I’ve tackled a full swede and it’s all sliced and diced in nice little cubes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Ask shag tonight

I really don't understand this reply! "

He’s Swedish, hope this helps

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Decent knives are they key , I can’t be having people buying ready chopped vegetables, what is the world coming to !

To me it makes more sense and less hassle. Frozen veg is great too and has all the goodness of fresh."

Frozen vegetables are the way forward. Except carrots and mushrooms. Frozen fruit is pretty good too.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

As a kid, I was given a swede instead of a pumpkin for making a Halloween lantern. The blisters on my hands were incredible

C

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

We had this too. Impossible.

Kids today with pumpkins don't know how lucky they are.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"I mean what if you don't have power tools, what do you do, boil the damn thing whole and then cut the purple bits off?"

The only sensible answer is to donate it to the food bank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am only permitted to buy swede at crimbo as it's given my boyfriend PTSD to peel and chop it following a horrific culinary incident when got a blister on the palm of his hand from holding the knife handle so tight whilst trying to cut through a swede.... I practically pissed myself laughing

Christmas last year I came home with 2 small swedes which I thought would be helpful for him when he chops them and I am likened to a piss taking cow bag...

Her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't bother feed it to sheep "

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"Don't bother feed it to sheep "

Noooooo

Sheep lives matter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

knowing the hard work it took to cut it up did you enjoy your swede more ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Decent knives are they key , I can’t be having people buying ready chopped vegetables, what is the world coming to ! "

Blunt knives are dangerous knives

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas


"Put the whole thing in it’s skin in microwave, when it’s cooked just scoop it out and it’s ready mashed "

I really wanna know if this works

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

And it’s turnip

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By *ob Carpe Diem OP   Man
over a year ago

Torquay


"I have shit knives, but manage OK! Top and tail it so it sits on the chopping board. Halve vertically. From the cut end slice diagonally to take off the skin from the top half, twizzling as you go. Turn it over and repeat. You'll now have half a swede that's mostly peeled on the top and bottom halves. The middle bit will now peel like a potato cos it's not tethered either side.

Then cut into dice chunks.

Lovely in a stew!

And if you need a dumpling tutorial I'm your gal. Super cheap, super easy!"

I think most wouldn't say no to a dumpling tutorial

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"Put the whole thing in it’s skin in microwave, when it’s cooked just scoop it out and it’s ready mashed

I really wanna know if this works "
It does work I do it all the time best thing I have ever been told ..

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

How did you catch Ulrika Johnsson in the first place?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Buy it diced. Life is too short. You’ll only end up cutting into it and it’ll skid across the counter top and take out your best tea cup. Nobody needs those bad vibes in their life.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only realised this Burn's Night that the 'neeps' in neeps and tatties is actually swede, rather than turnips. "

are swede and turnip not just 2 names for the same thing

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By *luebellRacerCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

Put it in the bin and have sweet potato instead

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

are swede and turnip not just 2 names for the same thing "

Apparantly Swedes are frost proof but turnips are not

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By *octor DeleriumMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

Only prepere-a deeced svede-a using fresh ourguonic pruduoce-a. Insuore-a zeet yuou hefe-a a fery sherp keetchee-a kniffe-a und a cleuon chupping buerd, svede-a cuon ilsu be-a greted. Remember tu vesh yuour huonds beffure-a itteckeeng zee-a fegeteble-a. Bork Bork Bork!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 30/01/21 15:02:13]

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas


"Put the whole thing in it’s skin in microwave, when it’s cooked just scoop it out and it’s ready mashed

I really wanna know if this works It does work I do it all the time best thing I have ever been told .."

Now I need to try it

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"How did you catch Ulrika Johnsson in the first place? "

Place a contract for a rubbish tv game show in a human sized mouse trap

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By *S2505Couple
over a year ago

lon

Not sure but probably tie him down so he dont struggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Put the whole thing in it’s skin in microwave, when it’s cooked just scoop it out and it’s ready mashed

"

Ting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Put the whole thing in it’s skin in microwave, when it’s cooked just scoop it out and it’s ready mashed

I really wanna know if this works It does work I do it all the time best thing I have ever been told ..

Now I need to try it "

It actually does work

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By *hanthukTV/TS
over a year ago

by tbe seaside n.wales

Carefully, they are hard muthafs

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