FabSwingers.com forum: Closeted men and female biphobia

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi. Lately it seems like all I get is messages from men who are very secretive about what they’re into.

I know from talking to plenty of women in real life that a large number of them would not get with men who are openly bisexual. I’ve even seen bi women on here say some horrible things about bi men. Many women will outwardly claim to be allies of the lgbt community, but turn their noses up at bi men because of stigmas around STDs. Some may love having gay friends, but they don’t want them anywhere near their boyfriends.

I also know men who are secretly bisexual and will laugh with their friends at gay and trans people.

Why do you lot think so many bi men are happy to throw gay and trans people under the bus? And what’s so repulsive about bi men to some women? Gents, our lives might be a little easier if you told your friends you’re bi and to stop laughing at us. To be quite frank, closeted people are not allies of the lgbt community, they’re part of the problem.

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By *westUKguyMan
over a year ago

Southport

I have noticed this, i am bisexual and found most women dont reply to my messages even though they are also bi or would have bi encounters, double standards as such, i posted something similar when i started up a post, but got loads of negative feedback (basically get over it)...unfortunately i dont have the answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have noticed this, i am bisexual and found most women dont reply to my messages even though they are also bi or would have bi encounters, double standards as such, i posted something similar when i started up a post, but got loads of negative feedback (basically get over it)...unfortunately i dont have the answer"

It’s down to that annoying old world preference again. I find 2 women together a turn on. I do not find 2 men together a turn on. I disagree that it’s double standards. That makes no sense to me at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And how do you know that’s why most women don’t reply to your messages?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

And how do you know that’s why most women don’t reply to your messages?"

I was just about to say the same thing, I can 99.9% guarantee that's not the reason for lack of replies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/01/21 23:20:37]

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

Op , everybody have diferent preferences and we all feel atraction in diferent way from individual to a individual

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

It's very unfortunate that guys can't be open about themselves sexually, but it could also be said about their management of finances, gambling, substances, the list goes on.

Possibly they are conditioned not to air their views and are genuinely afraid. I only go for bi guys because I;m not threatened by him seeing guys, but super insecure about a straight guy because then I'm in competition with another woman, and I always lose

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

When you say women being outwardly supportive of the lgbt community but turn their nose up at bi men, do you mean as in turn them down as sexual partners?

That's their decision.

I have friends that I really get on with but I ain't fucking em coz I know where they're cock's been. That ain't me saying I think they're dirty or diseased, it means I can't get past the fact they've had sex with certain people and it's made me shudder. One of them being my sisters ex from many many many years ago.

As for the STD thing, I believe that is people genuinely looking after their own health as best they can.

As a woman, going to the gum clinic for routine testing they ask you outright if you've had sexual contact with bi guys.

If you say yes you're then offered the course of hep jabs and you're informed by NHS staff that the risk is higher among that group. Now if that information is wrong, it needs changing and the NHS need to stop telling people that. But you can't expect people not to dismiss others based on that info. It's human nature.

And I'm saying that as a woman who HAS had 2 courses of the hep jabs coz my body won't retain antibodies, who's best friends are TVs and attends bi nights when clubs are open.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

In my experience as a bisexual guy on here OP I've actually found the opposite of what you're suggesting - yes there are those that won't meet me because of my sexuality, but the vast majority either aren't bothered in the slightest by it, or openly encourage it.

I think the perception that the majority won't meet bisexual guys comes from a number of angles - firstly the guys that blame their bisexuality for a lack of responses or meets, when the truth lies closer to home, then you have the fact that those that *won't* meet bisexual guys tend to advertise the fact on their profiles, don't stands out more.

I also don't buy the "double standards" thing about bisexual women not meeting bisexual men - it's like comparing apples with oranges, two totally different things with the word "bisexual" being the only common factor.

I don't deny that there is still a stigma around bisexual men, and one that should be addressed when it is appropriate to do so (e.g. bigotry or ignorance lies behind it) but I'm also not sure it's as prevalent as some would make out - I fully accept that someone might hold a preference not to meet me because of my sexuality, and that preference may have nothing to do with bigotry or hatred, and I totally respect peoples right to that preference so long as they do not express it in derogatory terms, or hold it for derogatory reasons.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When you say women being outwardly supportive of the lgbt community but turn their nose up at bi men, do you mean as in turn them down as sexual partners?

That's their decision.

As for the STD thing, I believe that is people genuinely looking after their own health as best they can.

As a woman, going to the gum clinic for routine testing they ask you outright if you've had sexual contact with bi guys.

And I'm saying that as a woman who HAS had 2 courses of the hep jabs coz my body won't retain antibodies, who's best friends are TVs and attends bi nights when clubs are open."

I may not have explained what I mean properly, everyone is entitled to their preferences and I would never argue against that. To an extent yes I do mean by discounting them as sexual partners, being bi doesn’t always mean multiple partners, a man could be in a monogamous relationship with another man for years and be disease free when they split but that would still preclude him from being suitable for you? It is absolutely a woman’s decision and if it’s based purely on the other things you say then that’s fine, but I don’t believe it always is. I believe it’s often to do with men who have sex with men being seen as less masculine.

Also, some of the most brutal discrimination I’ve seen towards bi men has been from women. In real life I mean. Laughing at them and calling them a faggot for example and encouraging the guys mates to join the ridicule. Preferences are fine but discrimination and ridicule are never fine.

Interesting about the hep thing, I’ve never been offered the hep jabs when I’ve visited a gum clinic and I’ve always been honest about my encounters. From what I can gather hep and HIV are spread in the same way, it has to go into the blood. The most recent data on HIV shows that almost half of new cases occur in straight sexual relationships so it seems peculiar that hep wouldn’t follow suit, but I’m absolutely no expert. Regardless, being blasé about sexual health is definitely not exclusive to men, be they bi or straight, neither are other factors like drug use. So there is risk involved in any encounter. I guess people have to balance that risk in their own way.

Out of interest, what do women think about men who get with trans women? Do they consider this to mean a man is bisexual or if he says he’s straight do women accept that as his identity?

It’s a fucking minefield anyway. Either way, if men think that women won’t sleep with them for being bi then that won’t stop them from sleeping with other men, all it does is make them lie about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When you say women being outwardly supportive of the lgbt community but turn their nose up at bi men, do you mean as in turn them down as sexual partners?

That's their decision.

As for the STD thing, I believe that is people genuinely looking after their own health as best they can.

As a woman, going to the gum clinic for routine testing they ask you outright if you've had sexual contact with bi guys.

And I'm saying that as a woman who HAS had 2 courses of the hep jabs coz my body won't retain antibodies, who's best friends are TVs and attends bi nights when clubs are open."

I also think that women on fab are way more clued up about stds than women who are more traditional in their approach to sex. I’ve had the conversation with women on loads of occasions (my five sisters included) and loads of the responses were about bi men being closet gay or being less masculine. That is prejudiced.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Op , everybody have diferent preferences and we all feel atraction in diferent way from individual to a individual

Yes, attraction is very personal. I wonder how many women use that to justify prejudices though? For example, bi men being closet gay or being less masculine, both very outdated ideas but something that I’ve heard on a number of occasions from women as reasons for not wanting to see bi men.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's very unfortunate that guys can't be open about themselves sexually, but it could also be said about their management of finances, gambling, substances, the list goes on.

I think you’re right there, a lot of men struggle to have conversations about their feelings and behaviours, that’s down to society expecting men to be “strong” in my opinion. I think it’s changing slowly.

Incidentally, I think other men are a bigger reason why bi men don’t come out but think this is glaringly obvious so I’m interested in what kind of impact women have on it too.

Interesting how the competition thing makes you feel personally, but I know a lot of men who’d walk over a hundred size zero girls to get close to you lady.

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By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

It’s not just bi men they won’t reply to I’m straight and hardly get a reply you just got to accept that most of the ladies in here either won’t or can’t because they get overwhelmed with messages from all men

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is true. Even as a trans woman I get more messages than I can reply to, I can only imagine what it’s like for women. Guys defo don’t help themselves, I’ve gone to great lengths to describe in detail what it is I’m looking for and I’m constantly inundated with messages from guys who wouldn’t have wasted their time if they’d just read my profile.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Op , everybody have diferent preferences and we all feel atraction in diferent way from individual to a individual

I wholeheartedly support people having preferences. I’m curious how many preferences are based on prejudices.

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By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

I do read profiles but some are like reading a novel that just never seem to end I think if they were a bit shorter more men would read them

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Op , everybody have diferent preferences and we all feel atraction in diferent way from individual to a individual

I wholeheartedly support people having preferences. I’m curious how many preferences are based on prejudices. "

That's not something you're ever likely to find out though, as some people may have a preference based in a prejudice but not realise it. And someone who is aware that it's the case is hardly likely to admit to it anyway.

Most people on fab in particular are likely to have a preference that is just that, and not rooted in prejudice, at least I would hope that would be the case.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I do read profiles but some are like reading a novel that just never seem to end I think if they were a bit shorter more men would read them "

A guys attention span is his problem and his problem only.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Op , everybody have diferent preferences and we all feel atraction in diferent way from individual to a individual

I wholeheartedly support people having preferences. I’m curious how many preferences are based on prejudices.

Most people on fab in particular are likely to have a preference that is just that, and not rooted in prejudice, at least I would hope that would be the case."

Without questioning things we’ll never find anything out.

I agree that people on fab are not a representation of people as a whole.

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By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

I do read profiles but some are like reading a novel that just never seem to end I think if they were a bit shorter more men would read them

A guys attention span is his problem and his problem only. "

Your perfectly right and even I’ve been out off reading a profile because it’s to long. Who els really likes reading a CV cos in some cases that’s what it feels like sometimes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I do read profiles but some are like reading a novel that just never seem to end I think if they were a bit shorter more men would read them

A guys attention span is his problem and his problem only.

Your perfectly right and even I’ve been out off reading a profile because it’s to long. Who els really likes reading a CV cos in some cases that’s what it feels like sometimes "

For me, writing it once on my profile saves me writing it 50 times a day in a message.

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By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

I do read profiles but some are like reading a novel that just never seem to end I think if they were a bit shorter more men would read them

A guys attention span is his problem and his problem only.

Your perfectly right and even I’ve been out off reading a profile because it’s to long. Who els really likes reading a CV cos in some cases that’s what it feels like sometimes

For me, writing it once on my profile saves me writing it 50 times a day in a message. "
I totally understand that as I get slightly annoyed when on my profile it says I’m straight yet I get messages from gay or bi men wanting to blow me

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Op , everybody have diferent preferences and we all feel atraction in diferent way from individual to a individual

I wholeheartedly support people having preferences. I’m curious how many preferences are based on prejudices.

Most people on fab in particular are likely to have a preference that is just that, and not rooted in prejudice, at least I would hope that would be the case.

Without questioning things we’ll never find anything out.

I agree that people on fab are not a representation of people as a whole. "

I'm not saying you shouldn't question, I'm just saying it's unlikely you'll actually get an accurate answer, as it is doubtful anyone would stand up and say here that they have a prejudice against bisexual men.

It does concern me that you seem to know so many people in the real world with such a prejudice. I've never known any women of my acquaintance to be anti bi men, although a couple of them would not be interested in being intimate with a bi man due to their own insecurities, but not prejudices.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I do read profiles but some are like reading a novel that just never seem to end I think if they were a bit shorter more men would read them

A guys attention span is his problem and his problem only.

Your perfectly right and even I’ve been out off reading a profile because it’s to long. Who els really likes reading a CV cos in some cases that’s what it feels like sometimes

For me, writing it once on my profile saves me writing it 50 times a day in a message. I totally understand that as I get slightly annoyed when on my profile it says I’m straight yet I get messages from gay or bi men wanting to blow me "

You have the option to block single guys. Gay and bi men message straight men on here because so many of the men who say they’re straight shag men.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Op , everybody have diferent preferences and we all feel atraction in diferent way from individual to a individual

I wholeheartedly support people having preferences. I’m curious how many preferences are based on prejudices.

Most people on fab in particular are likely to have a preference that is just that, and not rooted in prejudice, at least I would hope that would be the case.

Without questioning things we’ll never find anything out.

I agree that people on fab are not a representation of people as a whole.

Yes, response bias. Impossible to know if the data is accurate.

To be fair it’s anecdotal evidence from years of having stay behinds in pubs I’ve run up and down the country. Perhaps there’s a higher prevalence of prejudice amongst those who like the drink? That’s another thread

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Op , everybody have diferent preferences and we all feel atraction in diferent way from individual to a individual

I wholeheartedly support people having preferences. I’m curious how many preferences are based on prejudices.

Most people on fab in particular are likely to have a preference that is just that, and not rooted in prejudice, at least I would hope that would be the case.

Without questioning things we’ll never find anything out.

I agree that people on fab are not a representation of people as a whole.

Yes, response bias. Impossible to know if the data is accurate.

Possible, but again, not in my experience, and I know and have known many who like the drink.

Really that's like saying that any random group of people are more inclined to prejudice, and seems quite far fetched to me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Op , everybody have diferent preferences and we all feel atraction in diferent way from individual to a individual

I wholeheartedly support people having preferences. I’m curious how many preferences are based on prejudices.

Most people on fab in particular are likely to have a preference that is just that, and not rooted in prejudice, at least I would hope that would be the case.

Without questioning things we’ll never find anything out.

I agree that people on fab are not a representation of people as a whole.

Yes, response bias. Impossible to know if the data is accurate.

Possible, but again, not in my experience, and I know and have known many who like the drink.

Really that's like saying that any random group of people are more inclined to prejudice, and seems quite far fetched to me."

It was a joke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi. Lately it seems like all I get is messages from men who are very secretive about what they’re into.

I also know men who are secretly bisexual and will laugh with their friends at gay and trans people.

Maybe they are a bit scared of the competition? Also I think bisexual people tend to be seen and labelled as “greedy” ... (wrongly so btw) Like, an anything goes type of people. And I think that might scare women off on different levels. From STDs and what if I can’t compete.

For the most ignorant ones I guess it’s the classic, they are closeted gay and eventually will come out. I mean in some cases, some gay men do use it as their first card to enter their sexuality.

Fully bisexual people do obviously exist and I like to think we are all on a scale of shade of grey

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Op , everybody have diferent preferences and we all feel atraction in diferent way from individual to a individual

I wholeheartedly support people having preferences. I’m curious how many preferences are based on prejudices.

Most people on fab in particular are likely to have a preference that is just that, and not rooted in prejudice, at least I would hope that would be the case.

Without questioning things we’ll never find anything out.

I agree that people on fab are not a representation of people as a whole.

Yes, response bias. Impossible to know if the data is accurate.

Possible, but again, not in my experience, and I know and have known many who like the drink.

Really that's like saying that any random group of people are more inclined to prejudice, and seems quite far fetched to me.

It was a joke "

Apologies, as that wasn't immediately obvious.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Op , everybody have diferent preferences and we all feel atraction in diferent way from individual to a individual

I wholeheartedly support people having preferences. I’m curious how many preferences are based on prejudices.

Most people on fab in particular are likely to have a preference that is just that, and not rooted in prejudice, at least I would hope that would be the case.

Without questioning things we’ll never find anything out.

I agree that people on fab are not a representation of people as a whole.

Yes, response bias. Impossible to know if the data is accurate.

Possible, but again, not in my experience, and I know and have known many who like the drink.

Really that's like saying that any random group of people are more inclined to prejudice, and seems quite far fetched to me.

It was a joke

Apologies, as that wasn't immediately obvious.

Lol. Nor was it terribly amusing

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

It was a joke

Apologies, as that wasn't immediately obvious.

Lol. Nor was it terribly amusing

On this we do agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi. Lately it seems like all I get is messages from men who are very secretive about what they’re into.

I also know men who are secretly bisexual and will laugh with their friends at gay and trans people.

This is a really cohesive point. However, it can't be underestimated how difficult it is for men to come out and/or accept they are Bi in the first place.

Amongst social circles comprised of mostly or entirely straight men, you're made to feel like there's nothing worse than 'being gay'. Behaviour that is considered "gay", even if it is not directly recognised as such, is often pointed out, condemned and ridiculed. This leaves bisexual men feeling ostracised, so instead of speaking up, they bury their feelings about it below the surface in order to maintain friendships (no matter how toxic they may be) and so they don't have to confront that part of their identity *as a part of their identity*. They convince themselves, sometimes repeatedly, that "it's just a phase" or "I like women more anyway so I'm not really Bi".

Unfortunately, it is drilled into us from a young age that:

Gay (and, by association, everything that comes under the LGBTQ+ umbrella) = Bad

This subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle indoctrination can happen at home, at school, when you're out with friends, when you watch TV or a film...anywhere. It can be a combination of all of those influences - for many it is.

I would never condone laughing along with heterosexual people at the expense of gay/trans people etc. but often I think it isn't necessarily done out of malicious intent or internalised homophobia, but as a self-preservation instinct. In this instance, they're preserving their image as what is typically reinforced as 'normal' in society by disassociating themselves from people and/or things that are brandished 'gay'. As with all forms of prejudice, it is learned behaviour.

Whilst I agree to an extent that Bi men are part of the problem by disassociating themselves from the LGBT community, and contributing to the normalisation of mocking people who are a part of that community, I think it derives from a deeply complex set of circumstances and lifelong exposure to the idea that Straight = Normal. I don't condone their attitude if it is toxic or harms people either directly or indirectly, but as someone who lived their life as a straight man not all that long ago, I do understand and sympathise with people who feel trapped by long established societal norms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi. Lately it seems like all I get is messages from men who are very secretive about what they’re into.

I also know men who are secretly bisexual and will laugh with their friends at gay and trans people.

This is a really cohesive point. However, it can't be underestimated how difficult it is for men to come out and/or accept they are Bi in the first place.

Unfortunately, it is drilled into us from a young age that:

Gay (and, by association, everything that comes under the LGBTQ+ umbrella) = Bad

Very well put

I think newer generations are a bit more open (maybe), so there’s hope

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

"Hi. Lately it seems like all I get is messages from men who are very secretive about what they’re into.

I also know men who are secretly bisexual and will laugh with their friends at gay and trans people.

This is a really cohesive point. However, it can't be underestimated how difficult it is for men to come out and/or accept they are Bi in the first place.

Unfortunately, it is drilled into us from a young age that:

Gay (and, by association, everything that comes under the LGBTQ+ umbrella) = Bad

Well said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi. Lately it seems like all I get is messages from men who are very secretive about what they’re into.

I also know men who are secretly bisexual and will laugh with their friends at gay and trans people.

This is a really cohesive point. However, it can't be underestimated how difficult it is for men to come out and/or accept they are Bi in the first place.

Unfortunately, it is drilled into us from a young age that:

Gay (and, by association, everything that comes under the LGBTQ+ umbrella) = Bad

Yes. I’m familiar with the thought processes that come with it, having been through the bi/gay thing and now working out issues around gender. It’s incredibly difficult for men of a certain age, incidentally I think that for a lot of lads who are much younger it’s a better experience than for older guys because it has been normalised to an extent for them. My nephew was 14 when he told us he’s bi, but I also think that’s a very middle class thing too and in some homes it wouldn’t be the same.

I feel a certain amount of guilt for not automatically giving bi men the benefit of the doubt. But I’ve been called a faggot over the bar by lads who’ve later spoken to me on Grindr.

Let’s face it, the all too common denominator in sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia Is straight white men (I know this doesn’t apply to all straight white men) and actually we need to build alliances because we outnumber them. I can’t help but feel that a lot of women view gay and bi men as competitors as opposed to allies.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

Is all about peoples preference , like myself i have my own preferences you also have your own preferences.

None of us would sleep with everybody right ? So why should everybody sleep with us ?

Once more is all about respect peoples preference

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is all about peoples preference , like myself i have my own preferences you also have your own preferences.

None of us would sleep with everybody right ? So why should everybody sleep with us ?

Once more is all about respect peoples preference

It’s not all about preferences. Nor is it about expecting everyone to sleep with us. Preferences are part of the picture. Where those preferences are based on prejudices it is absolutely not ok to let women or men off the hook with that. I think there seems to be a tone around the conversation about women which says if we challenge some of their attitudes that we’re trying to take away their choice. For me I think everyone is capable of prejudice, women included.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi. Lately it seems like all I get is messages from men who are very secretive about what they’re into.

I also know men who are secretly bisexual and will laugh with their friends at gay and trans people.

This is a really cohesive point. However, it can't be underestimated how difficult it is for men to come out and/or accept they are Bi in the first place.

Unfortunately, it is drilled into us from a young age that:

Gay (and, by association, everything that comes under the LGBTQ+ umbrella) = Bad

I feel a certain amount of guilt for not automatically giving bi men the benefit of the doubt. But I’ve been called a faggot over the bar by lads who’ve later spoken to me on Grindr.

The technological age has certainly ushered in more education on issues around sexuality, race, gender etc. and younger people are more receptive to learning about them as a result.

I was going to mention social class as a factor (I'm working class myself) but then it really would have become a social studies essay and, let's face it, this is hardly the platform for anything that in-depth.

Whilst I think your guilt is probably normal, I completely understand it. Nobody deserves to be ridiculed and abused for who they are. The more time goes on, the more I realise how insidious "banter" about LGBT people (and other marginalised groups) is. What is regarded as harmless by so many is anything but.

Straight white men are probably the biggest problem group for all forms of prejudice, but I don't think straight white women are far behind at all. Men are just more overt and were taught that their opinion matters at a younger age, so we hear their shitty opinions on everything more than any other group. I think straight white men were almost as loud as black people during the BLM protests, voicing discontent for anything from methods of protest to whether or not they were even necessary in the first place.

Indeed, I have noticed a few comments in this thread that raised an eyebrow, but I'm not about to enter into a debate with people who nailed their flag to the mast long ago. People are often just unaware of their bias and/or prejudices.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"Is all about peoples preference , like myself i have my own preferences you also have your own preferences.

None of us would sleep with everybody right ? So why should everybody sleep with us ?

Once more is all about respect peoples preference

When you say "everyone is capable of prejudice " already includes everyone " right? When you add "women included " you are mentioning women twice , i could read that as a prejudice against women's .

No matter what gender people is , we all have our own preferences , you wouldn't sleep with everybody because you have your own preference same nit everybody wouldn't want sleep with you because they have their own preferences .

I'm sure if there was an orgy with all users of this site together i bet you wouldn't touch some of them and vice versa ,because people have their own preferences and not forget atraction is very important when comes to sex .

Wait i just mentioned the word orgy?

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

are you aware you statement saying straight man are the biggest prejudice and straight women's don't stay behind , is a statement of prefudice against them also ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is all about peoples preference , like myself i have my own preferences you also have your own preferences.

None of us would sleep with everybody right ? So why should everybody sleep with us ?

Once more is all about respect peoples preference

When you say "everyone is capable of prejudice " already includes everyone " right? When you add "women included " you are mentioning women twice , i could read that as a prejudice against women's .

Wait i just mentioned the word orgy?

Well in that case you’d be reading what you want to read.

I haven’t said once that everyone should want to sleep with everyone. I’m suggesting that some people’s preferences may be based on discriminating factors. Say if we had a sample of a hundred white men whose “preference” was white women, I don’t think it would be unreasonable to assume that a percentage of those men preferred white women because they’re racist. Similarly I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that some women aren’t attracted to bi men because of biphobia.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"are you aware you statement saying straight man are the biggest prejudice and straight women's don't stay behind , is a statement of prefudice against them also ?

This is like saying black people can be racist. They can’t. Racism is based on power, sexism is based on power, homophobia is based on power. In all of those scenarios straight white men overwhelmingly have power over the other.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"Is all about peoples preference , like myself i have my own preferences you also have your own preferences.

None of us would sleep with everybody right ? So why should everybody sleep with us ?

Once more is all about respect peoples preference

When you say "everyone is capable of prejudice " already includes everyone " right? When you add "women included " you are mentioning women twice , i could read that as a prejudice against women's .

Wait i just mentioned the word orgy?

Well in that case you’d be reading what you want to read.

If they choose to sleep with who they prefer yes is unreasonable say they are racist and also is unreasonable say women aren't atracted to bi men because biphobia .

All is about preferences and people is entitled to their own preferences .

Unless you are trying to say sex is the prejudice of all bad thing are happening in the world

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"are you aware you statement saying straight man are the biggest prejudice and straight women's don't stay behind , is a statement of prefudice against them also ?

Racism homophobia etc etc exist in both sides

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is all about peoples preference , like myself i have my own preferences you also have your own preferences.

None of us would sleep with everybody right ? So why should everybody sleep with us ?

Once more is all about respect peoples preference

When you say "everyone is capable of prejudice " already includes everyone " right? When you add "women included " you are mentioning women twice , i could read that as a prejudice against women's .

Wait i just mentioned the word orgy?

Well in that case you’d be reading what you want to read.

If they choose to sleep with who they prefer yes is unreasonable say they are racist and also is unreasonable say women aren't atracted to bi men because biphobia .

All is about preferences and people is entitled to their own preferences .

Unless you are trying to say sex is the prejudice of all bad thing are happening in the world

Again, you’re reading what you want to read. It’s entirely fair to assume that SOME are racist and biphobic, not all. People are entitled to their preferences, I’m entitled to question whether those preferences are based on falsely held beliefs about the subject.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"are you aware you statement saying straight man are the biggest prejudice and straight women's don't stay behind , is a statement of prefudice against them also ?

Racism homophobia etc etc exist in both sides

This is factually incorrect. Racial discrimination and racism are two different things. Black people can discriminate against white people, but lack the institutional power for it to be racism. This is not opinion, that’s what racism means.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

"are you aware you statement saying straight man are the biggest prejudice and straight women's don't stay behind , is a statement of prefudice against them also ?

So let me get this straight, only whit men can be prejudiced and show racism, sexism etc?

Do you realise just how ludicrous that statement is?

There is not a single race, gender, creed or any other demographic of the human race that is not capable of holding prejudice against another and for you do decree that only white males can have prejudice against another is quite simply racism and sexism at its most pure.

I understand completely that you feel you are in a minority group of people as I am also in one myself but to think that only white males have an issue with either of us is downright wrong.

I have been subjected to ridicule and prejudice by one of the smallest and most sidelined groups of people there is, trans women. Do I believe for a moment that all trans women feel this way? Absolutely not. Do I feel that only trans women or white men have an issue with me being a crossdresser? Also absolutely not. Is anyone capable of being prejudice towards me? Yes.

I think you may need to reasses your views on racism, sexism and prejudice as it clearly doesn't tie in with the facts of it all.

It is far less clear cut than you believe and a lot more complex than many would ever be able to fathom.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"Is all about peoples preference , like myself i have my own preferences you also have your own preferences.

None of us would sleep with everybody right ? So why should everybody sleep with us ?

Once more is all about respect peoples preference

When you say "everyone is capable of prejudice " already includes everyone " right? When you add "women included " you are mentioning women twice , i could read that as a prejudice against women's .

Wait i just mentioned the word orgy?

Well in that case you’d be reading what you want to read.

If they choose to sleep with who they prefer yes is unreasonable say they are racist and also is unreasonable say women aren't atracted to bi men because biphobia .

All is about preferences and people is entitled to their own preferences .

Unless you are trying to say sex is the prejudice of all bad thing are happening in the world

I'm just trying to say, people is entitled to their own preferences when comes to sex .

You wouldn't seep with everybody so why would you ask to everybody to sleep with you ?

People choose with who they prefer to share their sexually because the factor atraction and they are entitled to choose

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"are you aware you statement saying straight man are the biggest prejudice and straight women's don't stay behind , is a statement of prefudice against them also ?

So let me get this straight, only whit men can be prejudiced and show racism, sexism etc?

Do you realise just how ludicrous that statement is?

I understand completely that you feel you are in a minority group of people as I am also in one myself but to think that only white males have an issue with either of us is downright wrong.

I think you may need to reasses your views on racism, sexism and prejudice as it clearly doesn't tie in with the facts of it all.

It is far less clear cut than you believe and a lot more complex than many would ever be able to fathom."

Racism and sexism are based on power. Straight white men hold the power. This isn’t a difficult concept. Absolutely any person is capable of holding abhorrent views about a group of people, only one group is really capable of using their power to force inequality on those marginalised groups and that is straight white men.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is all about peoples preference , like myself i have my own preferences you also have your own preferences.

None of us would sleep with everybody right ? So why should everybody sleep with us ?

Once more is all about respect peoples preference

When you say "everyone is capable of prejudice " already includes everyone " right? When you add "women included " you are mentioning women twice , i could read that as a prejudice against women's .

Wait i just mentioned the word orgy?

Well in that case you’d be reading what you want to read.

If they choose to sleep with who they prefer yes is unreasonable say they are racist and also is unreasonable say women aren't atracted to bi men because biphobia .

All is about preferences and people is entitled to their own preferences .

Unless you are trying to say sex is the prejudice of all bad thing are happening in the world

I'm just trying to say, people is entitled to their own preferences when comes to sex .

You wouldn't seep with everybody so why would you ask to everybody to sleep with you ?

People choose with who they prefer to share their sexually because the factor atraction and they are entitled to choose

When have I asked everyone to sleep with me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another angle, I’m gay and i hate with a passion when I see gay men on here asking for straight cock to suck ,

1) if a “straight “ man let’s you suck hes cock he ain’t really straight at all

2) is this straight man homophobic , if he lets gays. Suck him off why can’t he say he’s bisexual or bi curious, he really ain’t helping the cause by hiding under the straight umbrella

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"Is all about peoples preference , like myself i have my own preferences you also have your own preferences.

None of us would sleep with everybody right ? So why should everybody sleep with us ?

Once more is all about respect peoples preference

When you say "everyone is capable of prejudice " already includes everyone " right? When you add "women included " you are mentioning women twice , i could read that as a prejudice against women's .

Wait i just mentioned the word orgy?

Well in that case you’d be reading what you want to read.

If they choose to sleep with who they prefer yes is unreasonable say they are racist and also is unreasonable say women aren't atracted to bi men because biphobia .

All is about preferences and people is entitled to their own preferences .

Unless you are trying to say sex is the prejudice of all bad thing are happening in the world

I'm just trying to say, people is entitled to their own preferences when comes to sex .

You wouldn't seep with everybody so why would you ask to everybody to sleep with you ?

People choose with who they prefer to share their sexually because the factor atraction and they are entitled to choose

When have I asked everyone to sleep with me? "

You haven't asked is just a way to say in other words people is entitled to have their own preferences

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Another angle, I’m gay and i hate with a passion when I see gay men on here asking for straight cock to suck ,

1) if a “straight “ man let’s you suck hes cock he ain’t really straight at all

2) is this straight man homophobic , if he lets gays. Suck him off why can’t he say he’s bisexual or bi curious, he really ain’t helping the cause by hiding under the straight umbrella "

To be fair I think one could argue that sexuality is about who you’re attracted to as opposed to being defined by who you engage with sexually. If a man doesn’t fancy men then he’s not gay or bisexual. It’s the same as a man going out and shagging a woman he’s not attracted to. Sexuality is by definition about who a person is attracted to. I personally can’t have sex with someone I’m not attracted to, some people can. Obviously some are in denial.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another angle, I’m gay and i hate with a passion when I see gay men on here asking for straight cock to suck ,

1) if a “straight “ man let’s you suck hes cock he ain’t really straight at all

2) is this straight man homophobic , if he lets gays. Suck him off why can’t he say he’s bisexual or bi curious, he really ain’t helping the cause by hiding under the straight umbrella

Another example on here is a profile by a straight male not looking for men etc yeh in another site I’m on , the same person is on there as gay and is a bottom looking for straight and bi men to do him bare , best of both worlds ? Playing with peoples life’s , there’s also another straight man on here who is a well known male escort on the gay scene, he’s photos on here are off him fucking ladies bare , and on the other app he’s doing the same to men , no wonder so many people get confused on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a woman who is attracted to bi men and has had sex with a few, I fully support the prerogative of anyone to refuse sex with people they don't find attractive, for whatever reason. Overt bi/ homophobia described in the thread has nothing to do with sexual preferences and everything to do with being a cunt. If the thought of two men together is a turn off for some women that's ok. I am not aroused by some sexual practices and would not be attracted to anyone who engages in them, dogging for example. It just so happens that the gender of a potential meets' previous sexual partners isn't one of those things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of this is due our unitegrated sexual shadows as humans. We all contribute to it, because what we see is a reflection of us. Our rational relative selves repressing the primitive and instinctual urges of our primitive selves through the cultural conditioning, social systems and mores and habitual ways of thinking of modern society and because we are yet to throw the light of consciousness on the unfolding mystery of how we integrate it all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive found the opposite tbh

I get a fair amount more messages now ive come out as Bisexual x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trying to understand why people do things is only going to give you a headache OP.

Closeted behaviour will never go away because for some people what other people think is paramount.

Websites like Fab are full of secret lives and lies.

But it's also an opportunity to meet people that you are compatible with - concentrate on them x

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I find chatting with people at clubs helps dispel transphobia to some degree. It's hard not to see you as a real human being after spending half an hour chatting

Still no autographs, though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just find the idea of two men having sex to be a turn off, so I wouldn't sleep with a bi man. I think everyone should be free to be themselves and be open with their sexuality, but that doesn't mean everyone has to want to sleep with them.

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By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

I do read profiles but some are like reading a novel that just never seem to end I think if they were a bit shorter more men would read them

A guys attention span is his problem and his problem only.

Your perfectly right and even I’ve been out off reading a profile because it’s to long. Who els really likes reading a CV cos in some cases that’s what it feels like sometimes

You have the option to block single guys. Gay and bi men message straight men on here because so many of the men who say they’re straight shag men. "

I know there’s that option but I do chat to some straight men on here from time to time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always believe alot of this is base in toxic masculinity. Where the idea of men being with other men is seem a symbol weakness or femininity. It just have look at some profile that use words like "straight acting" or "real men".

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By *nique_78Woman
over a year ago

Home, somewhere in Norfolk

[Removed by poster at 28/01/21 10:02:56]

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I have spent all morning pondering this question as I am biphobic for my sexual lifestyle and wanted to understand the reasons why. Reading through this thread has helped me to process that ultimately its down to stereotypes and trust. I implicitly trust myself and stablemates to make wise choices and protect all of our sexual health, whether we bareback or not. I've not made a connection sexually further than chatting to any bi guys in the past as they have not earned my trust due to unsafe practices that they openly admitted to, one day that may change I don't know, but for now I keep my bi male friends as just that friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have spent all morning pondering this question as I am biphobic for my sexual lifestyle and wanted to understand the reasons why. Reading through this thread has helped me to process that ultimately its down to stereotypes and trust. I implicitly trust myself and stablemates to make wise choices and protect all of our sexual health, whether we bareback or not. I've not made a connection sexually further than chatting to any bi guys in the past as they have not earned my trust due to unsafe practices that they openly admitted to, one day that may change I don't know, but for now I keep my bi male friends as just that friends"

Is not better for bi guy to admit to having unsafe sex than say straight guy who lies about it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally know of a few incidents where couples have invited a bisexual man to join them - with the understanding that the male half of the couple is straight - only to have the bi guy attempt to instigate sexual contact with the male.

I have also seen/spoken to a fair number of bisexual men who do not practise safe sex with men because "I'm on PrEP so it's fine".

While I am not against dating/fucking a bisexual man personally, if the chemistry was there... some of them don't really do themselves any favours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always believe alot of this is base in toxic masculinity. Where the idea of men being with other men is seem a symbol weakness or femininity. It just have look at some profile that use words like "straight acting" or "real men". "

And a lot of those terms are used by gay & bi men on their profiles

So are they not re-enforcing the stereotype?

I have been pillaried for this in the past, but some of the most casually homophobic people I know are LGBT

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"To be quite frank, closeted people are not allies of the lgbt community, they’re part of the problem.

I was with you until this part. No-one has the right to demand that anyone comes out, as we don’t know other people’s circumstances and whether it might be dangerous for them to do so. Closeted people are part of the community (not allies) even if they can’t publicly own it, and to say they’re part of the problem is unfair and again fails to take into account their personal circumstances.

A little story for you - in my last job, I wasn’t out (I’ve never been out at any job I’ve had and probably never will be). I had to listen to horrible jokes and comments about gay, trans, and bi people, but was too scared to say anything because they were coming from the directors. When I did eventually tell my boss, in confidence, that I’m bi - within weeks I was on a trumped-up gross misconduct charge and ultimately had to leave the job and bring a discrimination tribunal against them. For a lot of people, being out is unsafe in many different ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also another thing to keep in mind. When I was 'assaulted' and had to go for an STI test, they asked me if I knew whether the man in question was also having sex with men. Apparently the medical profession still consider bisexual men to be at higher risk of catching/spreading HIV.

I don't know how accurate that is statically or morally, but it probably goes some way to accounting for the stigma that bi men experience.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

"I just find the idea of two men having sex to be a turn off, so I wouldn't sleep with a bi man."

That's a reason not to have a bi MMF threesome, not a reason to not have sex one on one with a bi man.

Unless the mere fact of someone ever having had sexual contact with another man makes a guy inherently off putting.

Which sounds kinda bi/homophobic.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I personally know of a few incidents where couples have invited a bisexual man to join them - with the understanding that the male half of the couple is straight - only to have the bi guy attempt to instigate sexual contact with the male.

I have also seen/spoken to a fair number of bisexual men who do not practise safe sex with men because "I'm on PrEP so it's fine".

While I am not against dating/fucking a bisexual man personally, if the chemistry was there... some of them don't really do themselves any favours. "

I understand completely what you're saying, but that's not necessarily a "bisexual man" thing as opposed to an "individual person" thing - we hear daily about people who overstep boundaries or who have the wrong expectations and senses of entitlement etc regardless of sexuality.

As someone pointed out further up, which is worse a bisexual man who is open and honest about his bisexuality and sexual activities - or a straight man that lies about his?

I'm not saying you're wrong about how perceptions are formed, but perhaps if people looked at individuals rather than a collective generalisation it would be a step in the right direction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And a lot of those terms are used by gay & bi men on their profiles

So are they not re-enforcing the stereotype?

I have been pillaried for this in the past, but some of the most casually homophobic people I know are LGBT"

I believe that are re-enforcing stereotypes. Because implies that being male and the on the lgbtq+ spectrum makes a some type effeminate drama queen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have also seen/spoken to a fair number of bisexual men who do not practise safe sex with men because "I'm on PrEP so it's fine".

While I am not against dating/fucking a bisexual man personally, if the chemistry was there... some of them don't really do themselves any favours.

As someone pointed out further up, which is worse a bisexual man who is open and honest about his bisexuality and sexual activities - or a straight man that lies about his?

I'm not saying you're wrong about how perceptions are formed, but perhaps if people looked at individuals rather than a collective generalisation it would be a step in the right direction."

I believe in safe sex out off a monogamous relationship. I would rather have a bi pan queer or gay guy to honest about about having unprotected sex than have straight women lie to me about it. It just that it's my health I could be putting on the line.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Is not better for bi guy to admit to having unsafe sex than say straight guy who lies about it?"

Both bi and straight men can lie about encounters, Its down to personal judgement of whether I can trust them or not and that is earned over a long period of time but is not infallible unfortunately, but thats the risk you take in meeting anyone. I trust my stable mates and they trust me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is not better for bi guy to admit to having unsafe sex than say straight guy who lies about it?

I completely agree with you on that it's alway about trust. It's way like to take my time and get know someone before doing anything

I just think that someone sexuality doesn't make them more or less trustworthy that all.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Is not better for bi guy to admit to having unsafe sex than say straight guy who lies about it?

I completely agree with you on that it's alway about trust. It's way like to take my time and get know someone before doing anything

I just think that someone sexuality doesn't make them more or less trustworthy that all."

I agree and my example is only what I personally have experienced and doesn't cover anyone else's experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just find the idea of two men having sex to be a turn off, so I wouldn't sleep with a bi man.

That's a reason not to have a bi MMF threesome, not a reason to not have sex one on one with a bi man.

Unless the mere fact of someone ever having had sexual contact with another man makes a guy inherently off putting.

Which sounds kinda bi/homophobic.

Whether you like it or not, people can decide not to sleep with whomever the like for whatever reason they choose.

Bi/homophobic implies some sort of fear or hate, which isn't the case, it's a preference.

Just like if I knew a man liked to dress in women's clothes I wouldn't sleep with him even if he wasn't doing it at the time.

People like and dislike different things in sexual partners. Just focus on those who you're compatible with rather than vilifying those who prefer different things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree and my example is only what I personally have experienced and doesn't cover anyone else's experience "

I understand. All we can do most most time base are decisions on what we experience and lean in life

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just find the idea of two men having sex to be a turn off, so I wouldn't sleep with a bi man.

That's a reason not to have a bi MMF threesome, not a reason to not have sex one on one with a bi man.

Unless the mere fact of someone ever having had sexual contact with another man makes a guy inherently off putting.

Which sounds kinda bi/homophobic.

Whether you like it or not, people can decide not to sleep with whomever the like for whatever reason they choose.

Bi/homophobic implies some sort of fear or hate, which isn't the case, it's a preference.

Just like if I knew a man liked to dress in women's clothes I wouldn't sleep with him even if he wasn't doing it at the time.

People like and dislike different things in sexual partners. Just focus on those who you're compatible with rather than vilifying those who prefer different things

You can say that biphobia isn’t the case in your case, but you absolutely can’t say that that’s the case with everyone.

Some women don’t sleep with bi men because their preference is based on stereotypes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just find the idea of two men having sex to be a turn off, so I wouldn't sleep with a bi man.

That's a reason not to have a bi MMF threesome, not a reason to not have sex one on one with a bi man.

Unless the mere fact of someone ever having had sexual contact with another man makes a guy inherently off putting.

Which sounds kinda bi/homophobic.

Whether you like it or not, people can decide not to sleep with whomever the like for whatever reason they choose.

Bi/homophobic implies some sort of fear or hate, which isn't the case, it's a preference.

Just like if I knew a man liked to dress in women's clothes I wouldn't sleep with him even if he wasn't doing it at the time.

People like and dislike different things in sexual partners. Just focus on those who you're compatible with rather than vilifying those who prefer different things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just find the idea of two men having sex to be a turn off, so I wouldn't sleep with a bi man.

That's a reason not to have a bi MMF threesome, not a reason to not have sex one on one with a bi man.

Unless the mere fact of someone ever having had sexual contact with another man makes a guy inherently off putting.

Which sounds kinda bi/homophobic.

Whether you like it or not, people can decide not to sleep with whomever the like for whatever reason they choose.

Bi/homophobic implies some sort of fear or hate, which isn't the case, it's a preference.

Just like if I knew a man liked to dress in women's clothes I wouldn't sleep with him even if he wasn't doing it at the time.

People like and dislike different things in sexual partners. Just focus on those who you're compatible with rather than vilifying those who prefer different things

You can say that biphobia isn’t the case in your case, but you absolutely can’t say that that’s the case with everyone.

Some women don’t sleep with bi men because their preference is based on stereotypes. "

Then it's a good job I'm not speaking for everyone. =)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just find the idea of two men having sex to be a turn off, so I wouldn't sleep with a bi man.

That's a reason not to have a bi MMF threesome, not a reason to not have sex one on one with a bi man.

Unless the mere fact of someone ever having had sexual contact with another man makes a guy inherently off putting.

Which sounds kinda bi/homophobic.

Whether you like it or not, people can decide not to sleep with whomever the like for whatever reason they choose.

Bi/homophobic implies some sort of fear or hate, which isn't the case, it's a preference.

Just like if I knew a man liked to dress in women's clothes I wouldn't sleep with him even if he wasn't doing it at the time.

People like and dislike different things in sexual partners. Just focus on those who you're compatible with rather than vilifying those who prefer different things

You can say that biphobia isn’t the case in your case, but you absolutely can’t say that that’s the case with everyone.

Some women don’t sleep with bi men because their preference is based on stereotypes. "

100% agree with that statement.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Some women don’t sleep with bi men because their preference is based on stereotypes. "

The operative word there being "some" - and that's why I have such a problem with these threads, too often all encompassing catch all's are thrown out and applied to the majority when truth is they only apply to a minority.

As I said way up above, my experience here as a bisexual man is that the overwhelming majority either aren't phased by my sexuality in the slightest or positively encourage it.

And of those that won't meet me because of it, the vast majority have not been in the slightest bit "phobic" or assuming stereotypes - and it's really no skin off my nose if their preference is not to meet me because of my sexuality, any more than it would be if they didn't want to meet me because of my age, my shoe size or any other of the myriad preferences people express.

The *only* time it would be an issue would be if it were expressed in a derogatory way.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"When you say women being outwardly supportive of the lgbt community but turn their nose up at bi men, do you mean as in turn them down as sexual partners?

That's their decision.

As for the STD thing, I believe that is people genuinely looking after their own health as best they can.

As a woman, going to the gum clinic for routine testing they ask you outright if you've had sexual contact with bi guys.

And I'm saying that as a woman who HAS had 2 courses of the hep jabs coz my body won't retain antibodies, who's best friends are TVs and attends bi nights when clubs are open.

Out of interest, what do women think about men who get with trans women? Do they consider this to mean a man is bisexual or if he says he’s straight do women accept that as his identity?

I honestly can't speak on behalf of all women to answer those questions.

The gum clinic I go to is within the local hospital, I don't know if that has a baring on the hep thing or perhaps if it's based on regional statistics who knows. All I know is that's what happens at my hospital.

HIV testing is part of my routine test, that's why I never mentioned it.

I will confirm like like someone else mentioned that I've also heard "I'm on prep" a fair amount, which don't get me wrong I see as a good thing, however it seems to be seen as a get out of jail free card and I'd much prefer to hear "and I also use protection" in the same sentence.

I will also add that my most recent gum clinic nurse is a bi guy who's fucking awesome. Think about it. This dude is saying that the group he pigeon holes himself in is in the riskiest group. You're not gonna argue that are ya, you're going to believe him even if you thought well maybe the other women nurses are somewhat phobic and just saying that coz they don't agree with the behaviours or are part of the god squad trying to scare ya away from those heathens.

A trans woman in my eyes is a fucking woman. Pre-op, regardless of how they may identify, if we're talking risks (as stated by the NHS when you're there for testing) then I would, if I was that way inclined, categorise them in the bi male group until their surgery was complete purely based on anatomy, and I would, based on what goes where class men who fuck pre-op trans women as bi, yes.

Ultimately tho, I do wholeheartedly believe the majority does come from preference and turn ons. 2 guys going at it and it's 2 guys going at it. Does nothing for me.

A guy and a TV where I find them both attractive.... ooohhhh hello what we got going on here then? Yes, same anatomy as the 2 guys which did nowt for me, but a difference in look and it changes how I feel about it and how my body reacts.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I won’t get into the bit about liking trans women making a man bi. But I will point out that there are plenty of trans women who aren’t into men at all.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I won’t get into the bit about liking trans women making a man bi. But I will point out that there are plenty of trans women who aren’t into men at all."

Oh absolutely. I was just trying to answer the questions based on the sexual act itself if I simply HAD to categorise based on risk factors according to the gum clinic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have also seen/spoken to a fair number of bisexual men who do not practise safe sex with men because "I'm on PrEP so it's fine".

While I am not against dating/fucking a bisexual man personally, if the chemistry was there... some of them don't really do themselves any favours. "

So it becomes fair to tarnish everyone within that group with the same brush because of the practices of others within that group? That's called Biphobia.

I'm not suggesting people shouldn't be careful - with anyone - nor am I denying those Bi men exist, but this idea that you're safer with some more than others is plain wrong. HIV and other STI's now spread equally amongst heterosexual people as they do amongst the LGBT community. Hiding behind the fact that the NHS still ask people if they've slept with Bi men (which is an outdated practice given the transmission statistics in the present day) isn't an excuse. If you really want to stay safe, you'll scrutinise everyone thoroughly and equally and you'll get them to wear a condom. Simple as that.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I have also seen/spoken to a fair number of bisexual men who do not practise safe sex with men because "I'm on PrEP so it's fine".

While I am not against dating/fucking a bisexual man personally, if the chemistry was there... some of them don't really do themselves any favours.

So it becomes fair to tarnish everyone within that group with the same brush because of the practices of others within that group? That's called Biphobia.

Who is saying people don't scrutinise? Nobody.

However, you cannot deny having a health professional in front of you, offering you a course of hep treatment due to getting jiggy with an in their words "higher risk category" would have an impact. Outdated or not, it isn't HIDING behind the NHS, it's listening to what you're being told.... by a healthcare professional. I'm saying this as someone who has met bi guys, someone who has no issue whatsoever with bi guys.

Oh, and I caught chlamydia from my ex partner who was cheating on me, I've never caught anything from a bi guy. (Just in case you think I'm being naive or I really don't get it)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Oh and the argument about it being fair to tarnish everyone with the same brush.

Sex isn't about being 'fair'

Sex IS about being comfortable.

Call me a cunt or pathetic if you want, but I won't fuck people called Stuart. My arsehole cunt of an ex was called Stuart and I simply don't want to say that name out loud in a bedroom sense ever again, I ain't gonna apologise for that, it's my choice based on what I'm comfy with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh and the argument about it being fair to tarnish everyone with the same brush.

Sex isn't about being 'fair'

Sex IS about being comfortable.

What are you talking about?

I'm saying it isn't fair to assume that all Bi guys are the same way inclined because that's homophobic, just as it would be racist to assume people of a particular ethnic origin are all the same. You seem to be having an entirely different conversation and half of it seems to be with yourself, so I'm not really sure what to say to the rest of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Assuming all people of certain genders, races, sexualites etc .. are the same is ridiculous.

We all judge people on experiences and the people we have met.

If that is sexist, racist or bi phobic then it is what it is.

Getting angry with people about it is pointless - especially on a swingers site - we all have the right to fuck who we want to fuck.

Some people don't fancy me, I'm black, Bi and chubby ( and mad but that's another thread

)

I'm not going to waste my energy on giving any fucks about why people don't want me.

It's pointless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have also seen/spoken to a fair number of bisexual men who do not practise safe sex with men because "I'm on PrEP so it's fine".

While I am not against dating/fucking a bisexual man personally, if the chemistry was there... some of them don't really do themselves any favours.

So it becomes fair to tarnish everyone within that group with the same brush because of the practices of others within that group? That's called Biphobia.

Of course it's not fair. I never said it was.

But the fact is that people are going to see things, hear things, have their own experiences and then form a judgement. Sometimes a negative judgement. It might not be fair or right, but it's a part of life.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Oh and the argument about it being fair to tarnish everyone with the same brush.

Sex isn't about being 'fair'

Sex IS about being comfortable.

What are you talking about?

I'm using that as an example. I don't assume all people called Stuart are the same, in fact I'm 100% certain that they aren't. I still won't fuck one though. That's what I'm getting at. I'm not Stu-phobic and won't diss anyone called Stuart.

You can't erase people's pasts, and that's sometimes what leads them to make the decisions/choices they make now. It's life.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Assuming all people of certain genders, races, sexualites etc .. are the same is ridiculous.

We all judge people on experiences and the people we have met.

If that is sexist, racist or bi phobic then it is what it is.

Getting angry with people about it is pointless - especially on a swingers site - we all have the right to fuck who we want to fuck.

Some people don't fancy me, I'm black, Bi and chubby ( and mad but that's another thread

)

I'm not going to waste my energy on giving any fucks about why people don't want me.

It's pointless."

I'm short, stupid and I talk to myself apparently coz I make no sense. People won't go near me based on that, based on they like blondes and I'm not one, based on they want sub and I ain't one, they want big tits and I ain't got them either.

Yes, raise awareness and do good things for the plethora of sexualities, identities, ethnicities etc, but by arguing the case it ain't fair to be considered as a sexual partner because of certain behaviours or whatever is narrow-minded in itself.

We ain't talking being mates with, eating at the same table with, respecting as a person, breaking fucking bread with, we're talking sex. Something very personal, and for some people, extremely specific.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's great being bi

That way I can convince myself that's why people won't meet me

It has nothing to do with being short, fat or 50

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Assuming all people of certain genders, races, sexualites etc .. are the same is ridiculous.

We all judge people on experiences and the people we have met.

If that is sexist, racist or bi phobic then it is what it is.

Getting angry with people about it is pointless - especially on a swingers site - we all have the right to fuck who we want to fuck.

Some people don't fancy me, I'm black, Bi and chubby ( and mad but that's another thread

)

I'm not going to waste my energy on giving any fucks about why people don't want me.

It's pointless.

Well said Peachy!

You're not stupid at all - but definitely a short arse

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By *ervent_fervourMan
over a year ago

Halifax

"Op , everybody have diferent preferences and we all feel atraction in diferent way from individual to a individual

I wholeheartedly support people having preferences. I’m curious how many preferences are based on prejudices. "

In aa nutshell. To a large extent I agree.

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