FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Prompted By Another Thread

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Is it possible to too nice and gentlemanly on here? Genuine question as I've been often told I seem really nice and a gentleman just prior to be told "not for me"

Possibly they're being too nice themselves or I'm too sensitive!

What's your view?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay


"Is it possible to too nice and gentlemanly on here? Genuine question as I've been often told I seem really nice and a gentleman just prior to be told "not for me"

Possibly they're being too nice themselves or I'm too sensitive!

What's your view? "

Yeah but your a doctor, not the same for us mere mortals

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

In my opinion...no but others may disagree.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a gentle let down

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it possible to too nice and gentlemanly on here? Genuine question as I've been often told I seem really nice and a gentleman just prior to be told "not for me"

Possibly they're being too nice themselves or I'm too sensitive!

What's your view? "

No I like that. But it’s probably some ladies are being polite and saying you’re not for me in a nice way x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes... It's an utter turn off when someone slides into my DM talking about how nice they are etc.. It immediately puts me on defensive as its like 'you have to interact with me 'cos I'm so nice blah blah blah'

It reeks of zero personality to me .. I'd rather they were themselves and let me get to know them / draw my own opinion

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I would go with a yes,sometimes it can look false

( not you in particular, men we have spoken to in the past )

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I like the gentlemen

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes... It's an utter turn off when someone slides into my DM talking about how nice they are etc.. It immediately puts me on defensive as its like 'you have to interact with me 'cos I'm so nice blah blah blah'

It reeks of zero personality to me .. I'd rather they were themselves and let me get to know them / draw my own opinion "

Savage

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Let your posts and behaviour speak for you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ate_BMan
over a year ago

London

I don't know about being too nice but there is trying too hard and it is cringing. It's that 'holier than thou approach'. Not directed at you OP

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss selectiveWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

I think gents on here. Are gone I don't see out wrong with being a gent at all keep doing wat your doing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes... It's an utter turn off when someone slides into my DM talking about how nice they are etc.. It immediately puts me on defensive as its like 'you have to interact with me 'cos I'm so nice blah blah blah'

It reeks of zero personality to me .. I'd rather they were themselves and let me get to know them / draw my own opinion "

It's not a fake persona, I assure you it's just naturally me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *educerMan
over a year ago

Brentwood

Always be yourself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

They are your values, keep to them and perhaps be aware of incongruent people.

Nothing wrong with being a gentleman in domestic life, and something different sexually.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes... It's an utter turn off when someone slides into my DM talking about how nice they are etc.. It immediately puts me on defensive as its like 'you have to interact with me 'cos I'm so nice blah blah blah'

It reeks of zero personality to me .. I'd rather they were themselves and let me get to know them / draw my own opinion

It's not a fake persona, I assure you it's just naturally me. "

But that will come out through the conversation naturally

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

You can be nice but still have a personality, a sense of humour and a thoroughly deviant side to you.

Being nice doesn't mean you're a wet blanket

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes... It's an utter turn off when someone slides into my DM talking about how nice they are etc.. It immediately puts me on defensive as its like 'you have to interact with me 'cos I'm so nice blah blah blah'

It reeks of zero personality to me .. I'd rather they were themselves and let me get to know them / draw my own opinion

Savage "

Wow i didn't even put the bit i really wanted to include haha

... I think i have a strong personality so i just don't match with that kind of message.. I like sparring partners who have something about them lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Is it possible to too nice and gentlemanly on here? Genuine question as I've been often told I seem really nice and a gentleman just prior to be told "not for me"

Possibly they're being too nice themselves or I'm too sensitive!

What's your view? "

I think when people (esp women) are looking for a pure fuck as opposed to something meaningful they prefer an arsehole (1) because there's minimal risk of developing feelings of their own and (2) they can absolve themselves of any responsibility for hurting their feelings of the other party.

If you come across as sensitive, you stay on the shelf IMO.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's used to soften the blow of a knock back

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes... It's an utter turn off when someone slides into my DM talking about how nice they are etc.. It immediately puts me on defensive as its like 'you have to interact with me 'cos I'm so nice blah blah blah'

It reeks of zero personality to me .. I'd rather they were themselves and let me get to know them / draw my own opinion

Savage

Wow i didn't even put the bit i really wanted to include haha

... I think i have a strong personality so i just don't match with that kind of message.. I like sparring partners who have something about them lol"

I can see you don't hold your punches I like that fire in women it's a turn on but it's a balancing act

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is it possible to too nice and gentlemanly on here? Genuine question as I've been often told I seem really nice and a gentleman just prior to be told "not for me"

Possibly they're being too nice themselves or I'm too sensitive!

What's your view?

I think when people (esp women) are looking for a pure fuck as opposed to something meaningful they prefer an arsehole (1) because there's minimal risk of developing feelings of their own and (2) they can absolve themselves of any responsibility for hurting their feelings of the other party.

If you come across as sensitive, you stay on the shelf IMO."

I think you are so right on that. I've posted threads about how I believe women on here prefer the leather clad, cigarette smoking motorcyclist type than romantic dinner types.

Hey ho, I'll plough on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

If bien a gentleman is who u are thats fine ..just cos its a sex site some ladies like 2 av normal conversation as well as flirting u don't av 2 b crude in ur 1st sentence

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Different women want different things at different times in their life.

I must say I'm likely to get bored faster with someone nice than with someone with a bit of attitude to them, but then it's also a delicate balance of not just being a dick.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Is it possible to too nice and gentlemanly on here? Genuine question as I've been often told I seem really nice and a gentleman just prior to be told "not for me"

Possibly they're being too nice themselves or I'm too sensitive!

What's your view?

I think when people (esp women) are looking for a pure fuck as opposed to something meaningful they prefer an arsehole (1) because there's minimal risk of developing feelings of their own and (2) they can absolve themselves of any responsibility for hurting their feelings of the other party.

If you come across as sensitive, you stay on the shelf IMO.

I think you are so right on that. I've posted threads about how I believe women on here prefer the leather clad, cigarette smoking motorcyclist type than romantic dinner types.

Hey ho, I'll plough on. "

Gotta keep on keepin' on

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.

Is it possible to too nice and gentlemanly on here? No,

But people will say they're nice, A Dom, A amazing fuck, multi millionaire etc etc, More then likely its just a polite thanks but no thanks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it possible to too nice and gentlemanly on here? Genuine question as I've been often told I seem really nice and a gentleman just prior to be told "not for me"

Possibly they're being too nice themselves or I'm too sensitive!

What's your view? "

It's interesting because I think women say that to be polite but if a woman specifically says you're too nice then they're maybe into other types of guys. But different strokes for different folks.

When I asked the question a couple of months ago about flowers on a first meet most women here said no. Then when I was actually on a meet the woman said bringing flowers was lovely, so you have to be yourself and trust that the right person will find you or you find them. Don't try to please everyone be true to yourself and always have good intentions and you'll be just fine mate.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is it possible to too nice and gentlemanly on here? Genuine question as I've been often told I seem really nice and a gentleman just prior to be told "not for me"

Possibly they're being too nice themselves or I'm too sensitive!

What's your view?

I think when people (esp women) are looking for a pure fuck as opposed to something meaningful they prefer an arsehole (1) because there's minimal risk of developing feelings of their own and (2) they can absolve themselves of any responsibility for hurting their feelings of the other party.

If you come across as sensitive, you stay on the shelf IMO.

I think you are so right on that. I've posted threads about how I believe women on here prefer the leather clad, cigarette smoking motorcyclist type than romantic dinner types.

Hey ho, I'll plough on.

Gotta keep on keepin' on "

Six years in, I'm resilient!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I think you can be to nice. Its boring. Im always wary of people who harp on anout how nice they are. I will be the judge of whether i think your nice or not

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

Ultimately just be your true self, some will like you & some wont. A gentleman can be a very attractive thing, as long as he has a bit of personality about him. I've had a few messages where the sender seems just too 'nice' & overly polite & it doesn't feel genuine.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Too nice, too nasty...neither of those actually matter overly...the one thing you can never be is too genuine...

...and by that I mean being genuinely yourself and sticking to who you are rather than trying to fit what people want and tick their boxes in some way - accept that you won't appeal to *everyone*, but that by being genuinely you the chances are that you will appeal to *someone*

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think you can be to nice. Its boring. Im always wary of people who harp on anout how nice they are. I will be the judge of whether i think your nice or not"

Okay

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be you, there will always be someone who will pick apart even the good in people. Nice is good, kind is great and being yourself is the best thing you can be

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Always be a gent.

The rest is open to interpretation

C

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t be something your not

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just be you, there will always be someone who will pick apart even the good in people. Nice is good, kind is great and being yourself is the best thing you can be "

It appears to be a somewhat solitary road but, thank you and I agree

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it possible to too nice and gentlemanly on here? Genuine question as I've been often told I seem really nice and a gentleman just prior to be told "not for me"

Possibly they're being too nice themselves or I'm too sensitive!

What's your view? "

Look on the positive side. Your niceness has paid off by getting a polite decline. Thats more than you get for not being nice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can be nice but still have a personality, a sense of humour and a thoroughly deviant side to you.

Being nice doesn't mean you're a wet blanket "

Couldn’t have said it better myself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s in a word ? If nice means being bland or submissive then I guess that could be a negative, if it means being considerate and treating people well then I think many would find that attractive, and if they don’t then move on to someone who does. Good luck Doc.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is it possible to too nice and gentlemanly on here? Genuine question as I've been often told I seem really nice and a gentleman just prior to be told "not for me"

Possibly they're being too nice themselves or I'm too sensitive!

What's your view?

Look on the positive side. Your niceness has paid off by getting a polite decline. Thats more than you get for not being nice "

Actually, that so true, thank you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *luebellRacerCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

As long as you just be yourself, what anyone else thinks doesn't matter

Don't compromise yourself for anyone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As long as you just be yourself, what anyone else thinks doesn't matter

Don't compromise yourself for anyone "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As long as you just be yourself, what anyone else thinks doesn't matter

Don't compromise yourself for anyone "

Thank You, x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top