FabSwingers.com forum: Only Human

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

We all have flaws and insecurities to some extent or another - how comfortable are you with your own? Are they something you consciously work on or just an inevitable part of who you are? Are you able to be open about those?

For me, I think my overthinking is my biggest flaw and definitely the most grating one, for myself and others.

I'm a work in progress and for the most part I do well but some days it kicks in again, the endless lockdown doesn't help in that concern.

And yes, it's navel-gazing, I'm embracing that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am fully aware of my faults and hate them haha

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By *ear in the chairMan
over a year ago

yeah there

"We all have flaws and insecurities to some extent or another - how comfortable are you with your own? Are they something you consciously work on or just an inevitable part of who you are? Are you able to be open about those?

For me, I think my overthinking is my biggest flaw and definitely the most grating one, for myself and others.

I'm a work in progress and for the most part I do well but some days it kicks in again, the endless lockdown doesn't help in that concern.

And yes, it's navel-gazing, I'm embracing that."

Without your flaws you wouldn't be you, nobbly bits and all. And as many will say on the forums, we like ya just as you are x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all have flaws..."

Nah.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I would say that overthinking is my fatal flaw as well, as it affects so many areas of my life and of my interactions.

It's also the thing that adds to my insecurities, physical, emotional and mental.

I do work on the negative thoughts, and these days try to hear the positive thoughts better, along with positive comments, but even that adds to the overthinking. So I'm just hoping that one day the overthinking becomes more positive a thing in my life I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My greatest asset is my biggest flaw but it’s apart off me that I will never change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fairly comfortable with me

And if I find that my thinking is turned inwards, I try to busy myself doing something

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I’ve got them and while I’m working on them, it still hurts when they’re exposed.

It’s fortunate that friends, good friends, still like us even with our flaws. That’s worth remembering sometimes when we’re hard on ourselves

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I am fully aware of my faults and hate them haha"

Do you ever try and change them Lil? Or are they something you accept as being part of you so no point trying to?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Honestly it depends on what's going on in my life at the time.

Sometimes I'm good at being my own friend and treating myself the way I treat others (the whole "you're human, shit happens") however..... it can be a massive double edged sword for me.

I base a lot of that on "what were my intentions?" when something happens.

Now... you'd think that if the answer was "good" or at least "not bad" then that would be the end of it. Ohhhhhh no, I then go through berating myself and questioning myself.

My brain fights with itself and this thought process happens....

"Well if you couldn't see that coming you must have been stupid"

"If that was the outcome then maybe your heart isn't as pure as you thought it was, and if you can't see that it must mean you're in denial, and if you're in denial that must make you one of those evil people that can't see their evil or take responsibility for their actions and go round blaming everyone else. Best go get yourself sectioned because you're a danger to others and you can't even acknowledge it you piece of shit"

So yeah, I do overthink and sometimes it's really unhealthy.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

And yes, it's navel-gazing, I'm embracing that.

Without your flaws you wouldn't be you, nobbly bits and all. And as many will say on the forums, we like ya just as you are x"

Aaww thank you but that is because you get the far more tolerable Meli. The real me is even more insufferable than I am on here

Besides, I wanted to hear how others view things their twuntery. It's a welcome distraction to things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not! I’m not at all comfortable. I dress to hide them...I don’t really do naked, don’t like to be touched around my stomach either. But it’s my issue and no one else’s..it’s about how I see myself.... as for my psychological flaws...I’m aware of them, I know triggers and I’m ok with them and talking about them ...I am me.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

For me, I think my overthinking is my biggest flaw and definitely the most grating one, for myself and others.

I'm a work in progress and for the most part I do well but some days it kicks in again, the endless lockdown doesn't help in that concern.

And yes, it's navel-gazing, I'm embracing that."

Great thread - and definitely worth thinking about from time to time.

I would like to add the perception of flaws is often based upon what others think or what we assume they think, whether it is about character traits or physical appearance.

I have found that the older I become the less I worry about how I look or come across when I meet new people. I try to be respectful and kind to others.

I guess I have grown to accept myself for who I am. Does not mean I will not question myself from time to time! After all, we are human.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

No one person is perfect. I have numerous flaws that I see in myself and I'm sure others could point out several others. Does it make me a bad person not really. I'm embracing being adequate at thd moment, and that's kind of enough. Doesn't mean I don't have bad days etc but if I take the average of me being me I'm adequate and that's good enough for me. Not entirely sure that makes sense? But it does to me

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"We all have flaws...

Nah.

You're channelling the energy of Kravitz through that sexy nose ring, of course you wouldn't have flaws.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think that my biggest flaw, if it can be counted as one and it probably can is not thinking enough about my possible flaws. I seem to coast through life imagining that I'll do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm aware of mine and will occasionally think about improving myself, but then I get distracted by food or kittens and lose the self-improvement momentum. My biggest flaw is that I'm a lazy friend. I have to set reminders to contact people so I don't leave it for months. I know it's shitty, but I like my own company and forget about social interaction and that other people need others to show an interest in their lives. Fortunately my best friends are similar in that respect and we just pick up where we left off with no hard feelings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If anything I’m too good in bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a complete narcissist, no that can’t be right cause narcissist’s don’t recognise they’re own Narcissism, so I can’t be one, but wait, if I think I can’t be one then maybe I am.

As Voltaire once said ‘Doubt is an uncomfortable condition, but certainty is a ridiculous one.’

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I would say that overthinking is my fatal flaw as well, as it affects so many areas of my life and of my interactions.

It's also the thing that adds to my insecurities, physical, emotional and mental.

The positives are definitely worth listening to. I sometimes stop myself when I'm about to start a daft line of thinking by reading something to the contrary, that can help a lot. I hope it does become a positive part of your life, x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t particularly work on them these days, When I become aware of something I usually engage in dialogue with my inner audience to find out what is going on from different perspectives and then see what I need to integrate. It doesn’t feel like work anymore, more play. However if I find something deeply repressed then a bit of cathartic work usually does the trick. I also have a few thought experiments I use as well to gain perspective quickly on emotional stuff.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I never think about flaws. If someone asked me what mine were I would say I don't have any. I look at myself through my eyes, not someone else's.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I don’t view overthinking as a flaw.

Uninformed decision making is, so acting on an assumption can be the wrong thing to do.

Other than that, I am happy with who I am.

I have done a lot of soul searching and self analysis so know most of my flaws and am fascinated when I learn or discover something new about how or why I behave in certain ways.

The Johari Window is good for learning about yourself.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I don’t particularly work on them these days, When I become aware of something I usually engage in dialogue with my inner audience to find out what is going on from different perspectives and then see what I need to integrate. It doesn’t feel like work anymore, more play. However if I find something deeply repressed then a bit of cathartic work usually does the trick. I also have a few thought experiments I use as well to gain perspective quickly on emotional stuff."

Isn't that psychologically and emotionally tiring?

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By *ohnsnowmanMan
over a year ago

Don't Go Back to Sexville

I got to a place a few years ago where I knew who I was and was happy. Moved away from that a bit now. Partly lockdown and partly work has knocked it out of me a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never think about flaws. If someone asked me what mine were I would say I don't have any. I look at myself through my eyes, not someone else's."

Be weird if you looked at you through another pair of eyes, dunno how that would work.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Honestly it depends on what's going on in my life at the time...

So yeah, I do overthink and sometimes it's really unhealthy. "

I understand this - certain times I'm an utter 'mare and a simple sentence leads me down the overthinking path, it's not particularly healthy at all. The next time you find yourself starting on a negative stream of consciousness, you can always message me P P! And cook something nice instead.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I never think about flaws. If someone asked me what mine were I would say I don't have any. I look at myself through my eyes, not someone else's."

Yes, I do that too. It might account for my completely unrealistic impression of myself.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

My physical flaws I've long since accepted , no issue there .

My main if you like , mental or emotional flaws are usually targeted at myself anyway so that nobody else gets hurt by them .

But I've give my head a wobble and kicked myself up the arse and I know I'm better than the self inflicted crap I've bought upon myself .

If that made sense good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/01/21 16:24:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn't that psychologically and emotionally tiring?

Nah. It was 26 years ago when I began, now it’s just part of a way of being.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I would say that overthinking is my fatal flaw as well, as it affects so many areas of my life and of my interactions.

It's also the thing that adds to my insecurities, physical, emotional and mental.

You will get there in your own time hopefully xxx

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Honestly it depends on what's going on in my life at the time...

So yeah, I do overthink and sometimes it's really unhealthy.

You can teach me about cheeses and foods I've never heard of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If anything I tend to underthink OP.

I've not even really given this reply much thought.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"No one person is perfect. I have numerous flaws that I see in myself and I'm sure others could point out several others. Does it make me a bad person not really. I'm embracing being adequate at thd moment, and that's kind of enough. Doesn't mean I don't have bad days etc but if I take the average of me being me I'm adequate and that's good enough for me. Not entirely sure that makes sense? But it does to me

It makes perfect sense Frida. I've been trying to frame it in that way today. Most of the time I'm not too shabby.

If I have a bad day every now and again, I'm going to stop beating myself up about it because the average me on the whole is pretty darn awesome and I'm certain the same is true for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have plenty of flaws, most days i accept most of them.

But other days they’re all I can think about and they consume most my thoughts those days.

I try to work on the ones I think I could change but somethings I’ve learnt you just have to try and accept.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"If anything I tend to underthink OP.

I've not even really given this reply much thought. "

Bollocks. You would have spent a good twenty minutes composing this ensuring it had just the right amount of nonchalance.

P.S Good to see your avatar.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can’t believe I haven’t got a reply and quote for my Voltaire quote, last time I read about history and stuff.

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

Overthinking is definitely my biggest flaw and I’m my own worst enemy at times. I try to use different strategies to help sometimes they work, sometimes not so much x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If anything I tend to underthink OP.

I've not even really given this reply much thought.

Draft #247

Very Nonchalant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can’t believe I haven’t got a reply and quote for my Voltaire quote, last time I read about history and stuff. "

He was a paedophile.

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By *estcountryDadBodMan
over a year ago

Exeter

I would say I have insecurities but not necessarily flaws, all image related. Flaws implies it’s an issue which it isn’t for some but do to me which makes me insecure.

This is normally because I compare myself to others and I whilst I know that isn’t healthy it’s natural.

I am happy with my personality though, just not how I look.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I think that my biggest flaw, if it can be counted as one and it probably can is not thinking enough about my possible flaws. I seem to coast through life imagining that I'll do."

I don't know if that's a flaw, I think it's a fantastic attitude and one I need to foster. I might start doing memos with "you'll do" over my mirrors.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I don’t view overthinking as a flaw.

Uninformed decision making is, so acting on an assumption can be the wrong thing to do.

Other than that, I am happy with who I am.

I have done a lot of soul searching and self analysis so know most of my flaws and am fascinated when I learn or discover something new about how or why I behave in certain ways.

The Johari Window is good for learning about yourself."

I've never heard about the Johari Window! I'm very happy I have something new to learn about this evening, thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Johari Window is good for learning about yourself."

I can see Floella!*

*niche reference for the over 40s

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

For me, I think my overthinking is my biggest flaw and definitely the most grating one, for myself and others.

I'm a work in progress and for the most part I do well but some days it kicks in again, the endless lockdown doesn't help in that concern.

And yes, it's navel-gazing, I'm embracing that."

I’m aware of my flaws, some I know cannot be changed and some I’ve actively tried to and believe progress has been made

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By *picsome12Man
over a year ago

birmingham

My biggest flaw/ character defect would have to be people pleasing. Funny though really...i thought i was being kind but its actually just selfish, self centred oh and dishonest. That sounds like im completely character assassinating myself. Im not just something i notice in myself and work on daily x

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

I'm a bad sulker .I know this is a terrible flaw in who I am .I try not 2 let it over take me and try 2 controll it .

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I’m a complete narcissist, no that can’t be right cause narcissist’s don’t recognise they’re own Narcissism, so I can’t be one, but wait, if I think I can’t be one then maybe I am.

As Voltaire once said ‘Doubt is an uncomfortable condition, but certainty is a ridiculous one.’"

Oh this is so funny. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Please stop City, my kegels aren't strong enough for this amazingness.

P.S I am touched you went through the effort of Googling a Voltaire quote for my thread, thank you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think that my biggest flaw, if it can be counted as one and it probably can is not thinking enough about my possible flaws. I seem to coast through life imagining that I'll do.

I don't know if that's a flaw, I think it's a fantastic attitude and one I need to foster. I might start doing memos with "you'll do" over my mirrors."

It doesn't half get on people's nerves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m a complete narcissist, no that can’t be right cause narcissist’s don’t recognise they’re own Narcissism, so I can’t be one, but wait, if I think I can’t be one then maybe I am.

As Voltaire once said ‘Doubt is an uncomfortable condition, but certainty is a ridiculous one.’

Oh this is so funny. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Please stop City, my kegels aren't strong enough for this amazingness.

P.S I am touched you went through the effort of Googling a Voltaire quote for my thread, thank you."

This sounds totally genuine, I will take this at face value and not presume there’s any ridicule or scoffing here whatsoever, because that would be a flaw she didn’t mention.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"My physical flaws I've long since accepted , no issue there .

My main if you like , mental or emotional flaws are usually targeted at myself anyway so that nobody else gets hurt by them .

But I've give my head a wobble and kicked myself up the arse and I know I'm better than the self inflicted crap I've bought upon myself .

If that made sense good luck

It did make sense Slim, a lot of sense. You can't really wallow in self pity and there's this habit of making things a Big Thing. What if your flaws aren't actually that important and you get on with life without indulging in self pity?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Yes I’m aware of my numerous flaws.

I’m not really keen to do anything about them because they’re just like a mark on a clean piece of paper. They show I’ve been through life and I’ve not been left untouched by things that have happened to me.

Whether that be depression, failed romances, death, etc.

The experiences (and subsequent flaws) are what made me who I am today, which is generally a nice person, just with a few issues (trust issues mostly) and I am prone to navel gazing which I think is caused by anxiety - I over think everything and catastrophes. I also have control issues and have to micro manage everything but I think that is my way of dealing with my personal situation and home life.

But other than that I’m fine

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I have flaws and failings as much as the next person and am mostly aware of mine, but for the most part I embrace them and accept that they're a part of what makes me, me - deep down I know I'm a decent person with mostly decent values and that's what matters most.

I beat myself up at times when some of my self-perceived failings come to the fore, but they don't usually keep me down for long.

I don't think they could be changed, they're far too ingrained and would take a monumental effort and probably professional help to make a significant difference, and honestly when I weigh them up they're not that major to be worth the effort - or to make that big an impact at this stage in my life.

I just accept me as me, and that when you weigh the pros up against the cons that on balance the pros win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are only human I’m always saying I’m a work in progress learning all the time and overthinking things too much I just embrace it as life x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just waiting for some people to turn up and say they haven’t got any flaws, then I can tick off my lists of things I predict will get said and by whom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m in a permanent state of transformation and growth,

I journal, observe my thoughts and examine triggers/reactions.

That sounds really boring, but part of my growth is to just be, and to just allow so, I do that too

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"My physical flaws I've long since accepted , no issue there .

My main if you like , mental or emotional flaws are usually targeted at myself anyway so that nobody else gets hurt by them .

But I've give my head a wobble and kicked myself up the arse and I know I'm better than the self inflicted crap I've bought upon myself .

If that made sense good luck

Exactly, that is now my aim Meli , thankyou x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m in a permanent state of transformation and growth,

I journal, observe my thoughts and examine triggers/reactions.

That sounds really boring, but part of my growth is to just be, and to just allow so, I do that too

Do you meditate H?

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I think that my biggest flaw, if it can be counted as one and it probably can is not thinking enough about my possible flaws. I seem to coast through life imagining that I'll do.

I don't know if that's a flaw, I think it's a fantastic attitude and one I need to foster. I might start doing memos with "you'll do" over my mirrors.

It doesn't half get on people's nerves

Sod it. You're never going to please everyone and removing that worry of trying to do so must be freeing. Not nitpicking at yourself because you're happy with who you are. I think it's a great attitude and yeah, I love myself most of the time but that should change to all the time. It's a good way to be Nicecouple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m in a permanent state of transformation and growth,

I journal, observe my thoughts and examine triggers/reactions.

That sounds really boring, but part of my growth is to just be, and to just allow so, I do that too

Do you meditate H?"

In my own special way, yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m in a permanent state of transformation and growth,

I journal, observe my thoughts and examine triggers/reactions.

That sounds really boring, but part of my growth is to just be, and to just allow so, I do that too

Do you meditate H?

In my own special way, yes

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I never think about flaws. If someone asked me what mine were I would say I don't have any. I look at myself through my eyes, not someone else's.

Be weird if you looked at you through another pair of eyes, dunno how that would work. "

Do I have to womansplain it to you CJ?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Just waiting for some people to turn up and say they haven’t got any flaws, then I can tick off my lists of things I predict will get said and by whom. "

I've already said it

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By *ovelaughliveCouple
over a year ago

Oldham

For me its body insecurities. Weve been together a long time and know I turn him on and he loves my curves. But if chatting I always say I'm a bbw so if they're not into bigger girls they know.

I'm much better in club settings as x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just waiting for some people to turn up and say they haven’t got any flaws, then I can tick off my lists of things I predict will get said and by whom.

I've already said it

I didn’t predict you saying it, this has come as quite a shock.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

For me, I think my overthinking is my biggest flaw and definitely the most grating one, for myself and others.

I'm a work in progress and for the most part I do well but some days it kicks in again, the endless lockdown doesn't help in that concern.

And yes, it's navel-gazing, I'm embracing that."

Most people aren’t strong enough even to be self aware of them so any form of awareness or working on them puts you in the minority.

Someone asked me recently , but how do you know you’re aware of “all”your faults and weaknesses. Good question, only by reflecting/journaling and asking for 360 will you know.

I work on flaws and manage weaknesses, it’s a normal part of life

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

My main flaw is I don’t share thoughts and feelings. Although I’m quite good at listening, talking and helping others through their issues I struggle with the reverse.

I’ve always been of the mindset if someone can’t solve the problem, then there is no point sharing it. It is something I’m trying to work on and do share some stuff with a couple of people, but I know I hold back to.... I’m not sure if that will ever change.

I’ve got a strong filing cabinet in my head, write it down, get it out and then lock it away - that’s my way

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Yes I’m aware of my numerous flaws.

Whether that be depression, failed romances, death, etc.

But other than that I’m fine

You are fine Luna.

We don't need to be clean sheets of paper, there's nothing wrong with a bit of a smudge or a slightly crumpled edge (I'm on a roll with the paper analogy clearly).

Overthinking does lead to catastrophizing, sometimes I do the And Then What game if I'm in an odd mood, where you repeatedly say and then what until you realise how absurd your being. It's like a quick self wobble.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I am happy with my flaws, they make me who I am but it took a lot of meditation to work through them

My biggest one is impatientness.

I want it now, why can't I have it now, I am going to make a way so I can have it now.

Its a common occurrence in my life

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Just waiting for some people to turn up and say they haven’t got any flaws, then I can tick off my lists of things I predict will get said and by whom.

I've already said it

I didn’t predict you saying it, this has come as quite a shock. "

You think you know someone eh...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure my flaws matter as I live alone so there is no one around to disappoint.

I love my own space and prefer not to feel judged or compromise.

I keep time spent with others short so its fun and not enough time for personality differences and difficulties to affect anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just waiting for some people to turn up and say they haven’t got any flaws, then I can tick off my lists of things I predict will get said and by whom. "

Well I was an easy guess to be fair so you only get half a star for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure my flaws matter as I live alone so there is no one around to disappoint.

I love my own space and prefer not to feel judged or compromise.

I keep time spent with others short so its fun and not enough time for personality differences and difficulties to affect anyone."

This, I’m gone before I start getting on anyones tits or they start getting on mine.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

Most people aren’t strong enough even to be self aware of them so any form of awareness or working on them puts you in the minority.

Someone asked me recently , but how do you know you’re aware of “all”your faults and weaknesses. Good question, only by reflecting/journaling and asking for 360 will you know.

I work on flaws and manage weaknesses, it’s a normal part of life

Aww thanks! Sometimes you can be too aware of them though can't you? I don't view my friends as a composition of their flaws, I don't really register them. For me to work on them I should probably stop giving as much of a f*** about them and spend that energy on positive thoughts. No one else really cares about them as much as I do because I have boobs and a great voice.

Does journaling work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My main flaw is I don’t share thoughts and feelings. Although I’m quite good at listening, talking and helping others through their issues I struggle with the reverse.

I’ve got a strong filing cabinet in my head, write it down, get it out and then lock it away - that’s my way "

I could have written this! That’s me too. Plus stubborn so fucking stubborn!

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"My main flaw is I don’t share thoughts and feelings. Although I’m quite good at listening, talking and helping others through their issues I struggle with the reverse.

I’ve got a strong filing cabinet in my head, write it down, get it out and then lock it away - that’s my way

I could have written this! That’s me too. Plus stubborn so fucking stubborn!"

I left out stubborn, one flaw sharing is enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm always overthinking and I have very low self esteem and I am very critical of myself. It's a constant battle and I do try to tackle my issues, but my flaws definitely stop me from living my life in ways. It has always been a work in progress and I am probably better now than I've ever been, but there is still such a long way to go.

I thought once I became a mother none of this would matter anymore, but it's so much worse now. I have an extra person to worry about, more fears and I feel like I kind of lost myself somewhere along the way.

Are these flaws? I'm not sure but they seem like it to me.

I'm still amazing though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm always overthinking and I have very low self esteem and I am very critical of myself. It's a constant battle and I do try to tackle my issues, but my flaws definitely stop me from living my life in ways. It has always been a work in progress and I am probably better now than I've ever been, but there is still such a long way to go.

Are these flaws? I'm not sure but they seem like it to me.

I'm still amazing though."
Love your honesty. You are amazing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have flaws and I'm well aware of mine but I do try get better ever day. I hate being so critical of myself... Its something I don't know if i will ever stop... But I'm generally happy and healthy and that's a blessing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going to say that I'm aware of the flaws that I know about and be a little witty. But actually, I'm not sure that the things that I'm aware of I would actually class as flaws. Just personality quirks and I tend to own them. I've discovered over the last year that I'm fussier than I ever thought I was, but again, that's just knowing how I like things.

I know there is plenty in myself that I could improve upon, but I'm also quite a happy person. so it's not imperative at the same time.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

" I’ve got a strong filing cabinet in my head, write it down, get it out and then lock it away - that’s my way "

That’s a great way to describe it Spurs and very much the same here. Although mines a bit more of a heavy weight safe rather than a filing cabinet

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Most people aren’t strong enough even to be self aware of them so any form of awareness or working on them puts you in the minority.

Someone asked me recently , but how do you know you’re aware of “all”your faults and weaknesses. Good question, only by reflecting/journaling and asking for 360 will you know.

I work on flaws and manage weaknesses, it’s a normal part of life

Does journaling work? "

Because you choose your friends on their great qualities and accept the flaws. Only work on what you want to work on for you, not anyone else.

Journaling...yeah..even if you don’t write much, it’s active reflection. What went well , not so well , was I a cunt today etc

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I don't overthink and rarely second guess.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"For me its body insecurities. Weve been together a long time and know I turn him on and he loves my curves. But if chatting I always say I'm a bbw so if they're not into bigger girls they know.

I'm much better in club settings as x"

Body worries can be a bugger. I hope the clubs reopen soonish and you can work on your confidence, sometimes it's about getting out there. Also a good cocking works wonders.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fairly sure I'm aware of mine, but I don't do anything that affects anyone else so it doesn't really matter...

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By *not123Couple
over a year ago

sp1

Definitely an over thinker I do try not to be but the negative side kicks in especially with fwb.Dont like being chubby and always trying to loose it.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

Are these flaws? I'm not sure but they seem like it to me.

I'm still amazing though."

You are amazing Lemmy.

I have no doubt that one day you'll find yourself again and actually live life. Maybe overthinking isn't a flaw and coining it as such makes it seem far worse than it is, maybe if it was a quirk we'd be kinder to ourselves.

Once lockdown is lifted I'm not going to allow doubt and overthinking to stop me doing what I want, it's a dull and pointless take on life.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Over think, far too much.

Sometimes what is considered to be a flaw can also be considered to walk the line between flawed trait and positive trait.

Overthinking for example can lead to evaluating all possible outcomes resulting is the most effective solution. It can also lead to a lot of unnecessary stress and a waste of time.

That goes for lots of things, though for some things they are also just actual flaws. But whatever they are, they are what makes up a part of you.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I don't overthink and rarely second guess."

I'll pop you in the no flaws group Chilly.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I have flaws as im human but i love myself none the less im at one with myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have PLENTY! I kinda like them though, even love them to an extent, despite the trouble they cause. I think I recognise most of them even though others might think I don't (perhaps because of the above). They make me an individual and give me a certain level of personality and vulnerability which I also appreciate in others.

Perfect people aren't perfect to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are these flaws? I'm not sure but they seem like it to me.

I'm still amazing though.

You are amazing Lemmy.

Once lockdown is lifted I'm not going to allow doubt and overthinking to stop me doing what I want, it's a dull and pointless take on life."

Oh Meli thank you for being so lovely. I know I'll get there again someday, but it feels so far away right now but I think so many relate to that right now because of Covid, it feels like we are all on hold.

You're so right though, it is pointless and dull to let these things interfere with life. And if we were to die tomorrow we would think why did we let these worthless and often trivial flaws take from our lives?

I need to be more fuck it in my approach, but man it's tough sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone is flawed, but that's what makes us human and special. Some days I'm comfortable with my flaws, others I'm not and I try to hide them. Some days are dark and I find myself hating parts of myself. Then the light returns. It's a journey of self acceptance and love I guess. I'm somewhere on that journey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we all get blindsided by our goals and dreams.

we sometimes have to hurt the feelings of others to reach them.

never be afraid to do that, and if you haven't done anything wrong do not apologise or change your opinion to fit a narrative which is popular at the time.

remain true to yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meli!

You did a thread.

I’m so proud.

Yes.

I am a human and so are you.

I overthink just as much as the next human as you already know.

Now can I see your quim please?

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Meli!

You did a thread.

I’m so proud.

Yes.

I am a human and so are you.

I overthink just as much as the next human as you already know.

Now can I see your quim please?"

You're proud of me? Chuffed. So chuffed. All I want is your approval Samuel.

We are both humans, very good point well made. Your overthinking helps me feel normal, if even a bearded Adonis like yourself can do so it can't be that bad.

I would say yes to the quim but we both know lockdown is not over so I'll not give you false hope. You're welcome in advance associate. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meli!

You did a thread.

I’m so proud.

Yes.

I am a human and so are you.

I overthink just as much as the next human as you already know.

Now can I see your quim please?

You're proud of me? Chuffed. So chuffed. All I want is your approval Samuel.

We are both humans, very good point well made. Your overthinking helps me feel normal, if even a bearded Adonis like yourself can do so it can't be that bad.

I would say yes to the quim but we both know lockdown is not over so I'll not give you false hope. You're welcome in advance associate. x"

Bearded Adonis... that’s almost a compliment I think.

Are you alright?

Did your armpit hair waft over the keyboard as you typed and the result was a typo for Anus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dearest Meli

I harbour lots of insecurities, some mental, some emotional, some physical

Some days they get me down more than others

I am not scared of them, I don't hide them or deny them, infact, some of them should be celebrated

After all, they make me who I am

I like who I am

I am well rounded in more than one way

I understand that some people want to work at themselves

I have done, but not as a conscious decision, it has been more of a journey as opposed to a crusade

I am happy to just 'be'; to accept 'me' and to like 'me'

I think finding that inner peace is important, but some of that isn't found through working at it, it just becomes part of our personal evolution

If anyone has the ability to be their best, it's you

Don't sweat it

Bussy x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'm reasonably aware of myself, including insecurities. I've only 1 lifetime, as far as I'm aware, and it's generally better to have self-acceptance than a personality makeover. I've changed and will never be to everyones taste, so just change without pressure, from exploration

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My biggest flaw is now my asset.

Having cptsd makes me stronger, intolerant of abuse and takes no shite. In control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flawsome here, and I love my flaws, one of them is I always say what I'm thinking without filters. I like to think my thoughts aren't too flawed, if that makes any sense... Besides that all is where it should be. Noone else can love me more the way I am than myself, so that's what I try to do every day

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Meli!

You did a thread.

I’m so proud.

Yes.

I am a human and so are you.

I overthink just as much as the next human as you already know.

Now can I see your quim please?

You're proud of me? Chuffed. So chuffed. All I want is your approval Samuel.

We are both humans, very good point well made. Your overthinking helps me feel normal, if even a bearded Adonis like yourself can do so it can't be that bad.

I would say yes to the quim but we both know lockdown is not over so I'll not give you false hope. You're welcome in advance associate. x

Bearded Adonis... that’s almost a compliment I think.

Are you alright?

Did your armpit hair waft over the keyboard as you typed and the result was a typo for Anus."

You're not a bearded anus to me Tender, you're an Adonis of a man with the overthinking of a champion.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Dearest Meli

I harbour lots of insecurities, some mental, some emotional, some physical

Some days they get me down more than others

I am not scared of them, I don't hide them or deny them, infact, some of them should be celebrated

After all, they make me who I am

I like who I am

I am well rounded in more than one way

I understand that some people want to work at themselves

I have done, but not as a conscious decision, it has been more of a journey as opposed to a crusade

I am happy to just 'be'; to accept 'me' and to like 'me'

I think finding that inner peace is important, but some of that isn't found through working at it, it just becomes part of our personal evolution

If anyone has the ability to be their best, it's you

Don't sweat it

Bussy x"

Thank you Bussy for the candid honesty, it means a lot. And the lovely things you've said as well, they mean just as much.

And thank you to everyone who took their time to reply to this thread, even if I didn't respond. It's been interesting, helpful, amusing and comforting to read the varied responses.

For all the negatives cited about the forum, sometimes it's really not that bad a place to be. x

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Ahhhhh my biggest flaw currently is being a rubbish forum reader - I nearly missed the excitement of a thread by Meli!

Late to the party, but I've been framing flaws in a more positive way recently - as just part of who I am. I think we can be much harder on ourselves than with others. Would I say to a friend "oh you have this flaw, and that flaw"? So why do we do it to ourselves?

I have become more comfortable with myself the older I get, and also more self-aware (a lifelong work in progress!) I know how I can be and sometimes I annoy myself with falling into particular patterns of behaviour, but rather than fighting myself just being aware of it can help.

This doesn't mean I act like a total arsewipe and justify it to myself. More that I'm kinder and more accepting of myself than previously.

To quote a frequent forum phrase "I don't care what others think of me", I think that's rarely true. The way we view ourselves and the way others view us can often differ. I think both are valid in creating an honest picture of who we are. We all have our blind spots about ourselves that can be very hard to see.

Mrs kf x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ahhhhh my biggest flaw currently is being a rubbish forum reader - I nearly missed the excitement of a thread by Meli!

This doesn't mean I act like a total arsewipe and justify it to myself. More that I'm kinder and more accepting of myself than previously.

Mrs kf x

Your biggest flaw is you keep changing your username, you’ll always be Mrs Twist my Nipples to me, now change it back again cause it’s spinning me out!

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

[Removed by poster at 28/01/21 09:19:00]

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Ahhhhh my biggest flaw currently is being a rubbish forum reader - I nearly missed the excitement of a thread by Meli!

This doesn't mean I act like a total arsewipe and justify it to myself. More that I'm kinder and more accepting of myself than previously.

Mrs kf x

Your biggest flaw is you keep changing your username, you’ll always be Mrs Twist my Nipples to me, now change it back again cause it’s spinning me out!

Shan't.

You're one to talk!

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Ahhhhh my biggest flaw currently is being a rubbish forum reader - I nearly missed the excitement of a thread by Meli!

This doesn't mean I act like a total arsewipe and justify it to myself. More that I'm kinder and more accepting of myself than previously.

Mrs kf x

You posted on my thread! The urge to fangirl is strong.

You should be far kinder and more accepting of yourself Mrs kf - you're a fantastic woman with an unmatched knowledge of specialist online bakeries.

We are nicer to our friends aren't we? Today I've woken up feeling very positive, ebullient even and I'm stopping the negative framing. In a month there will be a repeat of this thread undoubtedly.

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