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Neighbours

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I went to see my neighbour and knocked on their door.

The lady of the house answered, I thought she looked a bit odd. I asked her if her husband was in. 'Johnny passed away this morning I'm afraid' she said.

'Oh dear, that's awful' I said 'What on earth happened?'

'Well he just told me that he felt a little poorly and took to his bed and that was it'

I didn't know what to say. I asked if she was with him at the end. 'Yes. I was' she sobbed. I enquired if he managed any last words. 'Well, yes a few' she said.

So I asked her, 'He didn't say anything about a tin of red paint did he?'

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

I was on a golf day with a mate the other day, and he is a real golf fanatic.

On the 14th "T", the main road to the church runs right next to it, and just as he was lining up to take his shot, a funeral cortege went passed.

He stopped, bowed his head, and stood still as the hearse passed.

"That was very considerate of you" says I.

"Well, she was a good wife to me" says he!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we need a thread dedicated to jokes, or a forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"we need a thread dedicated to jokes, or a forum. "

Yes a joke section would be good, most of the ones I get though I couldn't put on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Hotel Bill

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this...

Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.00. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00!

When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

"But we didn't use them," the man complains.

"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the man again.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replies.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.

"But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $50.00."

"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well, too bad," the man replies. "She was here and you could have."

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