FabSwingers.com forum: The most annoying thing about this site

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So not many things get under my skin I'm extremely easy going and laid back BUT.

After clearly spending a while constructing a message that is not rude at all and is covering aspects of your profile do you see the need to just delete the message.

Fair enough, I might not be your type and that's fine. I cannot be everyone's.

But my profile says I'm straight, I still get messages from guys changing it. And I reply to everyone of them to say im straight but thank you.

It doesn't take much and it's just rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So not many things get under my skin I'm extremely easy going and laid back BUT.

After clearly spending a while constructing a message that is not rude at all and is covering aspects of your profile do you see the need to just delete the message.

Fair enough, I might not be your type and that's fine. I cannot be everyone's.

But my profile says I'm straight, I still get messages from guys changing it. And I reply to everyone of them to say im straight but thank you.

It doesn't take much and it's just rude.

Fancy a bum?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So not many things get under my skin I'm extremely easy going and laid back BUT.

After clearly spending a while constructing a message that is not rude at all and is covering aspects of your profile do you see the need to just delete the message.

Fair enough, I might not be your type and that's fine. I cannot be everyone's.

But my profile says I'm straight, I still get messages from guys changing it. And I reply to everyone of them to say im straight but thank you.

It doesn't take much and it's just rude.

Fancy a bum?"

Only if you go in dry. Ahaha

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

If the person messaging has ignored the fact that they are not what my profile is looking for, in that instance I don't understand why they feel entitled to a reply.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The FAQs say that in fab it is acceptable to hit respond. The thing is that women do not owe men a response to any introduction they care to make and most of us have learned through hard experience that responding to men whose end requirement is probably sex can lead to trouble. Also, would you be happy with a number of no thanks messages as an alternative to deletes? Would that honestly be better?

I get it, it must be really frustrating and I'm sorry for that but it isn't women's fault and it doesn't make them rude.

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By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Stockport

This is the second thread on this topic in the past couple of days.

You aren't entitled to a reply and shouldn't expect one. Once you're happy with that you'll enjoy the site much more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice is to delete the message from your sent inbox right after you send it. It's just sat there taunting you if you don't.

It can be disheartening seeing your carefully crafted message not read or deleted but if you delete it straight after you send it, it's out of your mind

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If the person messaging has ignored the fact that they are not what my profile is looking for, in that instance I don't understand why they feel entitled to a reply."

I completely agree, but I always read profiles and if there is something that I'm 100% not then I just wouldn't message as I do not want to waste anyone's time.

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

We get lots of messages, it would take up all our free time if we had to message everyone back, it says in the fab rules no answer means no interest, is it not rude to join a site then criticze the users with our reading the rules

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Ps use message filters to block single men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The FAQs say that in fab it is acceptable to hit respond. The thing is that women do not owe men a response to any introduction they care to make and most of us have learned through hard experience that responding to men whose end requirement is probably sex can lead to trouble. Also, would you be happy with a number of no thanks messages as an alternative to deletes? Would that honestly be better?

I get it, it must be really frustrating and I'm sorry for that but it isn't women's fault and it doesn't make them rude. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I get it, it must be really frustrating and I'm sorry for that but it isn't women's fault and it doesn't make them rude. "

Honestly hand on heart, yeahh I would because it's an acknowledgement.

If someone held the door open for you would you walk in without at least a nod.

Maybe it's just me. Sorry if that came across as being a dick. It's not what I was intending.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ps use message filters to block single men

I don't block anyone as I post mental health threads for anyone that would like to just chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can be hard to know who to reply to and give a no thanks to and get ok thanks for your time message back or are they going to throw abuse at you for saying no

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By *amillMan
over a year ago

Warrington

I would echo what others have said and no reply means not interested. Also, I wouldn’t take it personally either as a lot of women use bulk delete on their messages, so it might not of even been a case of your message wasn’t good enough etc. But their inbox being swamped and it’s easier to clear.

As well, what you think is a good message to send is subjective as the recipient may read it and think you’re not for them, even if you had made it relevant to the the profile.

At the end of the day, a lot of the time on fab you won’t get a reply, but that’s okay just move on and keep trying. There truly is someone out there for everyone, I’m sure in time you’ll find what you’re looking for and you’ll be what they’re looking for!

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can be hard to know who to reply to and give a no thanks to and get ok thanks for your time message back or are they going to throw abuse at you for saying no "

Then I definitely apologise in behalf of my gender of the abusive messages I understand that happens quite a lot on here and yeahh I definitely do not agree with that.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Ps use message filters to block single men

I don't block anyone as I post mental health threads for anyone that would like to just chat. "

I'm with you mate. The rules may say one thing but being a kind human says something different. I got abuse on the other thread for saying the same thing. Nice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see the OP’s point tbf. Hes read the profile and messaged accordingly, which is more than can be said for most. The problem is, a profile cannot be exhaustive. There’ll be things (minor details) that arent on the profile bio. The message sender cannot know that but the message receiver will still delete the message as you’re not for them.

As said above OP delete the sent messages and try not to spare a second thought to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP it’s not rude at all for anyone to delete messages nobody has to message back. - No message/delete means no interest. Women especially get inundated with messages who has the time to reply back to hundreds of people and then get messages back saying “why” and possible abuse because they can’t take no for an answer...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I see the OP’s point tbf. Hes read the profile and messaged accordingly, which is more than can be said for most. The problem is, a profile cannot be exhaustive. There’ll be things (minor details) that arent on the profile bio. The message sender cannot know that but the message receiver will still delete the message as you’re not for them.

As said above OP delete the sent messages and try not to spare a second thought to it "

Yeahh I know what you're saying. I do agree. I think after thinking about it a bit more in relation to the fuck head guys who would send abuse I get why some people just delete. Save the risk of agro.

But now it's just raised another issue for me if why are guys such arseholes. Lol

Ruin it for the good guys.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ps use message filters to block single men

I don't block anyone as I post mental health threads for anyone that would like to just chat.

I'm with you mate. The rules may say one thing but being a kind human says something different. I got abuse on the other thread for saying the same thing. Nice! "

Sorry you got abuse from another thread dude.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

OP I can understand how it might be frustrating to you, but let me give you the view from the other side.

On a slow week I can get maybe a hundred or so messages.

On a busy week maybe a few hundred.

Lots of women get many more.

The majority haven't read my profile. Or they've read it and decided that in some alternative Universe they meet my criteria even when they blatantly don't.

If I've got time and they've put in a bit of effort I'll reply "nice but not for me".

That should be the end of it. But 9 times out of ten they either then reply with a "Why?" or they leave it a couple of days/weeks/minutes (and I'm not even kidding) and message again.

Thats generally when I hit the block button now

It says quite clearly in the site rules that a delete is a no thanks.

If only everyone understood and accepted that.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Do you reply to all the junk mail you receive OP? The one from the pizza delivery place even though you eat pizza? Or the one from the double glazing company even though you have windows in your house?

Not saying your messages are junk but it's a similar principle here really - you may send your message "thinking" you have something to offer the recipient and match their needs, but it doesn't mean they are looking for your particular blend of pizza or style of windows.

It's also easy for guys to say they respond to every message as most guys don't get that many messages (I average less than 5 a week normally) - women however, even with filters applied, can get 20 plus a day (sometimes a lot more) - now put yourself in their position - allowing 3 minutes to review each message and the senders profile to decide interest or not, and then reply to the message, that's an hour on just 20 messages which could be better spent elsewhere - would you reply to every message given that? I know I wouldn't

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

"Ps use message filters to block single men

I don't block anyone as I post mental health threads for anyone that would like to just chat.

I'm with you mate. The rules may say one thing but being a kind human says something different. I got abuse on the other thread for saying the same thing. Nice! "

We can get upto 200 messages a day (at weekends if we put a new pik on) how could we reply to all of them, we do try and message the ones who take the time to read our profile and fit what we are looking for but just impossible to get back to everyone,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to always reply, but some keep going on and on, and also, if we reply, then once we decide to put our filters on like mine are now, then they can still message.

Other reasons is a polite no thanks has resulted in an abusive message back, and that I get so many messages when my inbox is open that it would be like a full time admin job to reply to them all.

It may suck, but we do not owe anyone anything, sorry but it is the truth x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I get it, it must be really frustrating and I'm sorry for that but it isn't women's fault and it doesn't make them rude.

Honestly hand on heart, yeahh I would because it's an acknowledgement.

If someone held the door open for you would you walk in without at least a nod.

Maybe it's just me. Sorry if that came across as being a dick. It's not what I was intending. "

Of course I'd acknowledge someone who held the door open for me, it's not the same thing at all.

It isn't just you a lot of men complain that women are rude for not responding to their messages. I suspect if the roles were reversed women would complain too. The thing is though that as I said women on fab or elsewhere do not have to be nice to men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not just men!

Ive had couples delete my messages or not reply. Single ladies have also done the same. Single men have deleted my messages or nit replied. It is their prerogative, i accept they arent interested and jog on. Part and parcel of being on fab tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say bring back the happy smiley face you were showing the other week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It gets said so often in here, so I started to feel guilty.

I replied with a polite response, and then I get questions of why or whatever...

Now I’ve got fed up with it and put my filters on, but all those men that I’ve politely replied to can now message me, because I’ve replied and filters no longer apply.

In addition, I left last time because I got a few messages that were really very abusive and upsetting.

You can’t win!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I say bring back the happy smiley face you were showing the other week

Ahaha don't you worry that's still there. That'll never go away. I just hate the fact that the good guys get painted with the same brush. Guys just ruin everything. Lol.

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"So not many things get under my skin I'm extremely easy going and laid back BUT.

After clearly spending a while constructing a message that is not rude at all and is covering aspects of your profile do you see the need to just delete the message.

Fair enough, I might not be your type and that's fine. I cannot be everyone's.

But my profile says I'm straight, I still get messages from guys changing it. And I reply to everyone of them to say im straight but thank you.

It doesn't take much and it's just rude.

Right my gorgeous friend , how many messages do you get ? Let's say 10 a day ....

How many do women get a day ? Some say over 300, but let's say I get about 50 new message threads a day , I had long given up answering ( I've been on here 12 years ) but as a new year new you Resolution i have taken to replying to most with a " Thanks but I'm not meeting , not chatting , not looking for new friends . Happy Fabbing " . You'd think that would be the end of it ? But no they all reply back , most wanting to chat further ...

So by the time I have replied to the first 50 that turned into about 90 with the follow up messages, I'm likely to have received another brand new 50 message threads ...

It's endless , I'm furloughed and at home but in ordinary time I would delete 99% ....

Hugs and

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete the majority of messages I get, sometimes without reading if I see from the preview that it isnt someone I want to read. I get that it is rude, but if I reply you can almost guarantee the next message will be asking me to give a detailed reason as to why I am not interested.

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By *enuine MikeMan
over a year ago

Guildford

"Ps use message filters to block single men

I've had several meets based on men messaging me asking if I wanted to join in some group fun.

Its the bi men and bi curious who message and ask to wank me off or blow me which is most annoying.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I say bring back the happy smiley face you were showing the other week

Ahaha don't you worry that's still there. That'll never go away. I just hate the fact that the good guys get painted with the same brush. Guys just ruin everything. Lol. "

Guys don't ruin everything. Some men are horrible and rude, it's true, so are some women. The thing is you need to accept that it isn't other men's fault your messages are being deleted, it isn't women's fault either, it's the nature of the way fab works. Women get loads of !messages apparently, they know that if they respond to anyone they aren't interested in the chances are that won't be an end to it so they delete or ignore the message. The reason your message is deleted is that the woman you sent it to doesn't feel you're compatible. That isn't the fault of other men, or her fault and it certainly isn't your fault. A delete means no thank you just as a message saying it does. I'm not saying it's easy to accept but it is how it works here and nothing is going to change that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I say bring back the happy smiley face you were showing the other week

Ahaha don't you worry that's still there. That'll never go away. I just hate the fact that the good guys get painted with the same brush. Guys just ruin everything. Lol. "

They don't

The single ladies and couples here can detect a tosser or a chancer from a mile off (usually)

Decent guys get their chance to shine, but even under normal circumstances it can be a protracted and, at times, frustrating process

Sending a message is a gamble

With gambling, the odds are always stacked in the favour of the bookmaker rather than the gambler

I don't see too much difference here

Single guys are gonna be the main senders of initial messages, so they are going to be the ones most frustrated by this

I've been here for 10 years now with the exception of a few months here & there

This is a perennial frustration

It won't go away

Honestly, and I don't mean this in a patronising way, you need to accept that many messages you send will go unanswered

If you can't get your head around that, you will be in for a bumpier ride than you need to have

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Sending a message is a gamble

With gambling, the odds are always stacked in the favour of the bookmaker rather than the gambler

I don't see too much difference here

Excellent analogy and tops the junk mail one...might have to steal that for future use

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/01/21 17:01:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think of your messages as junk mail arriving in your inbox. Would you reply to all the junk mail? No

First you’d set your filters to minimise the unwanted stuff and then you’d delete anything you weren’t interested in.

As Mrs N says it’s in the FAQs that no response means no thanks.

With the amount of messages many women get and the abuse many of them receive when they actually do say no, it is perfectly understandable that they will delete unwanted mail. Especially if that mail is clearly not aligned with their preferences and wants laid out in their profile.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

Some users on this site get literally HUNDREDS of messages a day, replying to them all would be a full time job...

It’s been said before many times but hopefully people will pay attention.

Nobody is entitled to a reply... NOBODY! If you don’t like that then please leave the site so those of us that accept this fact don’t have to keep dealing with people that moan about it.

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By *ausageNmashCouple
over a year ago

Andover

Maybe you just need a thicker skin for it not to get under. I don't think anyone is intentionally rude and Rosie tries to answer all messages but mailbox just fills up quicker then she can reply so sometimes has to delete and they also just drop off the bottom of the page. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why ignore them why not say your not my type. Ignoring is rude #justsaying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anyone read the site rules / FAQ when they join the site???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why ignore them why not say your not my type. Ignoring is rude #justsaying"

Have you read the thread? Some different perspectives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why ignore them why not say your not my type. Ignoring is rude #justsaying"

Nothing wrong with ignoring or not replying, read the site rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most annoying is the females that just on here to cock tease and sell dreams. Just say what it is or am I just too straight forward. Also why do women feel like ignoring is the best way to tell someone no. But hey who am I to say a thing on the matter #justsaying

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

https://www.fabswingers.com/articles/FAQ

This might be useful

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By *ausageNmashCouple
over a year ago

Andover

"So not many things get under my skin I'm extremely easy going and laid back BUT.

After clearly spending a while constructing a message that is not rude at all and is covering aspects of your profile do you see the need to just delete the message.

Fair enough, I might not be your type and that's fine. I cannot be everyone's.

But my profile says I'm straight, I still get messages from guys changing it. And I reply to everyone of them to say im straight but thank you.

It doesn't take much and it's just rude.

Right my gorgeous friend , how many messages do you get ? Let's say 10 a day ....

So by the time I have replied to the first 50 that turned into about 90 with the follow up messages, I'm likely to have received another brand new 50 message threads ...

It's endless , I'm furloughed and at home but in ordinary time I would delete 99% ....

Hugs and

Very well put

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody owes you a reply. You chose to message them they didnt ask for the message.

A friend of mine set up a profile when i was with her last year. Within minutes she had 60 messages and within an hour that i was with her she had nearly 200.

Imagine replying to all those?

Its just not doable and as soon as guys realise this and suck it up the better.

For me a non reply is a no thanks.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Maybe the message could be not as interesting as the person who sent it but it's nothing to be upset about we don't match for everyone but then again wouldn't this tell you that you wouldn't be compatible and many ladies get 100s of messages and those sent do get pushed down so if they never found it interesting or doubt your someone their looking for remember site has loads of members so never take it personally

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Nobody owes you a reply. You chose to message them they didnt ask for the message.

A friend of mine set up a profile when i was with her last year. Within minutes she had 60 messages and within an hour that i was with her she had nearly 200.

Imagine replying to all those?

Its just not doable and as soon as guys realise this and suck it up the better.

For me a non reply is a no thanks.

I think people realise it. And I've had similar experience to you too. So I know how some of the more popular profiles get inundated. But the majority haven't read the profile or are one word. So delete them no issue. The ones who have read the profile and put some effort in... Different.

Now delete them fine.

But just because site rules say it.. Doesn't mean that it's good. I think that is all some of us are suggesting. And at the end of the day... We all like to say how marvellously friendly and lovely swingers are.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Out of interest what kind of message would men like to receive in place of a delete or no reply? It might be useful to know.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Out of interest what kind of message would men like to receive in place of a delete or no reply? It might be useful to know."

I can't speak for anyone else but I've had "xx" as a reply and that's been great. I mean it could even be whacked on as a function of the site.... They have delete and block...make it a template...its supposed to be a friendly fun site so anything that can keep it that way is surely a positive. I don't see why people should have to grow a thick skin to be on a friendly site. My opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Set the bar low, even though you’ve jumped through all the hoops they’ve asked for and put the special word in the title and sent them a well thought out message, manage your expectations, you must remember that these people have incredibly busy hectic lives and you can’t expect them to type out a short polite message, where will it end, I mean they’ve probably got a casserole on the go, who knows. So my advice is never check your sent box and just presume you won’t get a reply, you can’t control how other people behave but you can be stoic in your nature.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to reply to everything but it is hugely time consuming, and 9 to 10 times I then get asked why, or abuse, or further messages. It’s quite tiring.

The FAQ’s are clear about it. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My advice is to delete the message from your sent inbox right after you send it. It's just sat there taunting you if you don't.

It can be disheartening seeing your carefully crafted message not read or deleted but if you delete it straight after you send it, it's out of your mind

Or cut and paste it and use for the next message ...

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By *lowhands7Man
over a year ago

South Leicestershire

No pictures.

Even worse, no pics but asking for a face pic!

Otherwise, there is some great people on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask a mod to close this thread for your own sanity lol

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"So not many things get under my skin I'm extremely easy going and laid back BUT.

After clearly spending a while constructing a message that is not rude at all and is covering aspects of your profile do you see the need to just delete the message.

Fair enough, I might not be your type and that's fine. I cannot be everyone's.

But my profile says I'm straight, I still get messages from guys changing it. And I reply to everyone of them to say im straight but thank you.

It doesn't take much and it's just rude.

No. It's not rude. Just because it's not what you do doesn't make it rude.

It's just not what you wanted. Nothing else.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Out of interest what kind of message would men like to receive in place of a delete or no reply? It might be useful to know.

I don't think anyone should have to grow a thick skin but I do think it helps to be realistic

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

"So not many things get under my skin I'm extremely easy going and laid back BUT.

After clearly spending a while constructing a message that is not rude at all and is covering aspects of your profile do you see the need to just delete the message.

Fair enough, I might not be your type and that's fine. I cannot be everyone's.

But my profile says I'm straight, I still get messages from guys changing it. And I reply to everyone of them to say im straight but thank you.

It doesn't take much and it's just rude.

Yes I fully get that.

I get lots of messages and then I mostly respond, but none ever actually read my profile..

So when I say no thanks they get all shitty, sorry I can’t help it you’re not for me...

Hey it’s my choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody owes you a reply. You chose to message them they didnt ask for the message.

A friend of mine set up a profile when i was with her last year. Within minutes she had 60 messages and within an hour that i was with her she had nearly 200.

Imagine replying to all those?

Its just not doable and as soon as guys realise this and suck it up the better.

For me a non reply is a no thanks.

Now delete them fine.

I think the example of no reply in the OP is rude.

If the site rules said jump off a cliff..............

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By *nked_kittenWoman
over a year ago

Ankh Morpork

This thread is great. I think I’ve blocked like 3 people because of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As said above OP delete the sent messages and try not to spare a second thought to it

But now it's just raised another issue for me if why are guys such arseholes. Lol

Ruin it for the good guys. "

Yes they do ruin it for the decent people. They are part of the reason some don't bother replying - in case of abuse. Or they put people off meeting at all. Some even leave the site because of them.

See no reply to a decent message as a lucky escape. I wouldn't want to meet a rude person so thankfully I'll never meet them.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

I understand it's crappy to not get a reply, and I used to reply to all polite messages. But not any more.

As has been said, I tend to get "but why", "I only want to chat" or abusive messages back.

Replying also allows them to bypass any filters you then set.

Finally, I would say that just because you meet all the written criteria on a profile, it may still be that you're not for them - they may not find you attractive. I really don't like having to tell someone that I just don't fancy them. (You are lovely though, smiley head in the bath!)

Lastly, I don't lump all single guys together with the rude ones - there are way more lovely guys than idiots. I just choose not to reply anymore for the reasons stated.

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

We used to reply to every single message even if it was a no. After a huge amount of men attacking both of us we stopped. We decided to only reply if we liked them or if they send a nice message we'd politely decline.

MORE ABUSE!

So now we don't bother. It's not rude to protect yourself from negativity, especially when it's multiple times a day.

It made me hate fab and I left it all to my partner for a while because I couldn't stand it anymore.

Now we've stopped sending messages to people we don't want to meet we have way more fun on fab and more time to chat to the people we do want to meet.

When men can learn to handle rejection maybe women will reply.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"So not many things get under my skin I'm extremely easy going and laid back BUT.

After clearly spending a while constructing a message that is not rude at all and is covering aspects of your profile do you see the need to just delete the message.

Fair enough, I might not be your type and that's fine. I cannot be everyone's.

But my profile says I'm straight, I still get messages from guys changing it. And I reply to everyone of them to say im straight but thank you.

It doesn't take much and it's just rude.

Let me explain.

Mrs and I when we first started went to great lengths to reply to every message we had even if it was a simple thanks but no thanks, for the most part everything was good.

Then as we progressed with our swinging journey Mrs decided to have her own hotwife account, now as a couple those rejection messages not a problem, suddenly when guys thought that Mrs was alone, she started getting guy's who just wouldn't take not interested for an answer which resulted in lots of agro and a continuous bombardment of questions and abuse to the point of blocking.

Now this starts to get very tiring and takes away all the supposed fun which we are here for.

To have to explain over and over again to different guys why she not interested is a waste of our time and theirs, but still they just can't take rejection.

So after lots of crap she/we decided that it's simpler to not reply and delete the message, apart from the odd one or two who just don't get it, most do and move on.

It's not something she enjoys doing but when she spends an entire evening explaining to message after message why she not interested, I'm sure you will understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although I respect dating sites and Fab are different things... I've used dating sites on and off for years, but it's the norm on there to not reply to messages if you're not interested and no one gets shitty or abusive about it so why can't it just be accepted on here?

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Its a vicious cycle because you may get fed up and join the how you doing brigade and even i don't bother replying to those.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Havent read the thread, but I assume that you reply to all your junk email and snail mail, because, well its just rude?

You might need new windows, or life insurance, or a pizza, or to send some money to an African prince, or buy some Bitcoin. .....

No?

Why not, its just polite?

Ok, I exaggerated but its all about where someone draws the line.

You cant dictate how others behave, only yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP it’s not rude at all for anyone to delete messages nobody has to message back. - No message/delete means no interest. Women especially get inundated with messages who has the time to reply back to hundreds of people and then get messages back saying “why” and possible abuse because they can’t take no for an answer..."

A man who gets it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So not many things get under my skin I'm extremely easy going and laid back BUT.

After clearly spending a while constructing a message that is not rude at all and is covering aspects of your profile do you see the need to just delete the message.

Fair enough, I might not be your type and that's fine. I cannot be everyone's.

But my profile says I'm straight, I still get messages from guys changing it. And I reply to everyone of them to say im straight but thank you.

It doesn't take much and it's just rude.

Worst thing about this site is the men who whine and moan about not getting reply’s when the rule is no reply means no thank you.

Personally I have nothing but time and I reply to each and every message leaving my wife to reply to just the messages she wants to but honestly at times it’s very difficult to not just reply with “for fuck sake give your head a wobble” but I don’t even if that’s what some deserve.

Once you let go of your misplaced entitlement then I’m sure your fab adventure will be more fulfilling for you op.

Best of luck!!!!

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Are you doing that 200 times a day though?

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

OP.

Unless you are already in a conversation, almost all messages sent are unsolicited. Effectively junk mail.

Unless you reply to everything that you receive in the mail, I don't think you should be expecting a response to all your messages.

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

Well OP have you answered everyone who has posted on this thread, No! well how rude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry OP but I don’t owe anyone my attention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry OP but I don’t owe anyone my attention. "

Very succinct, and well said. I agree. My time is my own, and I choose how to use it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So not many things get under my skin I'm extremely easy going and laid back BUT.

After clearly spending a while constructing a message that is not rude at all and is covering aspects of your profile do you see the need to just delete the message.

Fair enough, I might not be your type and that's fine. I cannot be everyone's.

But my profile says I'm straight, I still get messages from guys changing it. And I reply to everyone of them to say im straight but thank you.

It doesn't take much and it's just rude.

As others have said, its numbers, if single women and hotwife/stag-vixen couples ended up replying to everyone they would need a full time secretary and a fab membership for life!

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

"If the person messaging has ignored the fact that they are not what my profile is looking for, in that instance I don't understand why they feel entitled to a reply."

Exactly this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/01/21 16:07:35]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably people who moan about getting unwanted messages/attention and don't use message filters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The most annoying thing is there's no gangs of girlies fighting to shag me lol

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.

"So not many things get under my skin I'm extremely easy going and laid back BUT.

After clearly spending a while constructing a message that is not rude at all and is covering aspects of your profile do you see the need to just delete the message.

Fair enough, I might not be your type and that's fine. I cannot be everyone's.

But my profile says I'm straight, I still get messages from guys changing it. And I reply to everyone of them to say im straight but thank you.

It doesn't take much and it's just rude.

If I’ve got the time, I might reply. But when there’s loads of other messages, I might not. Just the luck of the draw really.

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By *unnyPairCouple
over a year ago

Seminole

Pictures with dudes on toilets

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By *weety321Woman
over a year ago

nottingham

To reply to every single message would take forever and a day, half the messages are just ‘hey’ or ‘are you alright’ or even an ‘x’ and send a dick pic. If nothing stands out from the rest it’s just bulk delete. At the minute it’s not like people can meet anyway with Covid doing it’s thing!

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By *uncouple.1965Couple
over a year ago

Midlands

I get it, it must be really frustrating and I'm sorry for that but it isn't women's fault and it doesn't make them rude.

Honestly hand on heart, yeahh I would because it's an acknowledgement.

If someone held the door open for you would you walk in without at least a nod.

Maybe it's just me. Sorry if that came across as being a dick. It's not what I was intending. "

Maybe it is you, who knows.

However youou aren't holding a door open, you are making contact with someone who you are hoping will let you have sex with them.

If he or she reads your message and then decides that you are not for them then why should they need to message back.

We are all on the same site with the same rules and that is just the way it is.

Another subject that has been done to death.

We simply say if you don't like the rules, don't join in the game.

Not being sexist, but we rarely see this type of post by women....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody owes anyone anything.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"So not many things get under my skin I'm extremely easy going and laid back BUT.

After clearly spending a while constructing a message that is not rude at all and is covering aspects of your profile do you see the need to just delete the message.

Fair enough, I might not be your type and that's fine. I cannot be everyone's.

But my profile says I'm straight, I still get messages from guys changing it. And I reply to everyone of them to say im straight but thank you.

It doesn't take much and it's just rude.

Let me explain.

Mrs and I when we first started went to great lengths to reply to every message we had even if it was a simple thanks but no thanks, for the most part everything was good.

Now this starts to get very tiring and takes away all the supposed fun which we are here for.

To have to explain over and over again to different guys why she not interested is a waste of our time and theirs, but still they just can't take rejection.

So after lots of crap she/we decided that it's simpler to not reply and delete the message, apart from the odd one or two who just don't get it, most do and move on.

It's not something she enjoys doing but when she spends an entire evening explaining to message after message why she not interested, I'm sure you will understand.

Very similar journey myself and indeed my gf decided to jack it in as it became an admin hassle rather than a bit of horny fun for her (and eventually me) . So yes get it from both sides. But out of 100 messages 95 will be either three word, or not read the profile preferences (no beards, tats etc) so could go in the bin. The 5 that had bothered to read profile and write accordingly got a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody owes anyone anything."

Surely some men owe me their dick...I will be very upset if they don't

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By *uncouple.1965Couple
over a year ago

Midlands

"Nobody owes anyone anything."

I honestly wish these single guys would man up and stop complaining.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody owes anyone anything.

Surely some men owe me their dick...I will be very upset if they don't "

*puts hand in air*

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By *uncouple.1965Couple
over a year ago

Midlands

[Removed by poster at 22/01/21 16:56:35]

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