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"wise words Miss........ But Im into the whole thing. Its up to the Mistress or master how you are used. I would not be there fopr myself. but for my Mistress or master pleasure" If that's your prearranged dynamic that is fine, but not everyone seeks that kind of BDSM relationship. Hence why it's important to do your research before you engage in play | |||
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"Be very fucking careful who you trust. I had a guy who sold himself to me as the real deal, said all the right things. After a few months of chatting and one meet he then kept trying to send blokes to my house for me to "prove my submission to him and that I trusted him" I ended up getting freaked out, I was having to tell him I was at work and stuff coz he would say there's someone on their way round, be ready in an hour I told him to get fucked in the end. Anywhooo, ages later a guy messaged saying he couldn't find my master on here anymore and would it still be the same price to meet me. Yep, "master" was trying to use me as a cash cow behind my back. That's why he was so desperate to get all these randoms round to my house! " This Find out how to vet people, join a BDSMcommunity and find out who can be trusted (although not perfect as there are still abusers who hide within them). If you are developing an interest in BDSM there are quite a few online classes at the moment that you can check out (look under online events on Fet). Go slow, be vigilant with your submission and only give it to people who deserve it | |||
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"I’ve totally changed my sexual desires. I’ve recently found a love of anal sex and bdsm but I’m totally new to the wanting of these sexual desires I would love to listen to stories or fantasies and advice in exploring this world " But yourself a copy of Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" read that and sort out in your own mind what you want from a bdsm relationship. Once you're clear on that you will be in a better position to assess the type of person you're interacting with and whether they're genuine. There are an awful lot of bullies and people who think their way is the only way. | |||
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"Be very fucking careful who you trust. I had a guy who sold himself to me as the real deal, said all the right things. After a few months of chatting and one meet he then kept trying to send blokes to my house for me to "prove my submission to him and that I trusted him" I ended up getting freaked out, I was having to tell him I was at work and stuff coz he would say there's someone on their way round, be ready in an hour I told him to get fucked in the end. Anywhooo, ages later a guy messaged saying he couldn't find my master on here anymore and would it still be the same price to meet me. Yep, "master" was trying to use me as a cash cow behind my back. That's why he was so desperate to get all these randoms round to my house! " WTAF!! This is a proper warning. You had a lucky escape there Peach. Thank god you were put off and saw through him | |||
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"Be very fucking careful who you trust. I had a guy who sold himself to me as the real deal, said all the right things. After a few months of chatting and one meet he then kept trying to send blokes to my house for me to "prove my submission to him and that I trusted him" I ended up getting freaked out, I was having to tell him I was at work and stuff coz he would say there's someone on their way round, be ready in an hour I told him to get fucked in the end. Anywhooo, ages later a guy messaged saying he couldn't find my master on here anymore and would it still be the same price to meet me. Yep, "master" was trying to use me as a cash cow behind my back. That's why he was so desperate to get all these randoms round to my house! " Jesus Peach | |||
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"Be very fucking careful who you trust. I had a guy who sold himself to me as the real deal, said all the right things. After a few months of chatting and one meet he then kept trying to send blokes to my house for me to "prove my submission to him and that I trusted him" I ended up getting freaked out, I was having to tell him I was at work and stuff coz he would say there's someone on their way round, be ready in an hour I told him to get fucked in the end. Anywhooo, ages later a guy messaged saying he couldn't find my master on here anymore and would it still be the same price to meet me. Yep, "master" was trying to use me as a cash cow behind my back. That's why he was so desperate to get all these randoms round to my house! WTAF!! This is a proper warning. You had a lucky escape there Peach. Thank god you were put off and saw through him " Defo. Knocked my confidence somewhat but just proves how easily others will jump on those wanting to learn and explore as "naive and easily taken advantage of"..... which you really can be when you're thinking you want to push your boundaries. | |||
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"Be very fucking careful who you trust. I had a guy who sold himself to me as the real deal, said all the right things. After a few months of chatting and one meet he then kept trying to send blokes to my house for me to "prove my submission to him and that I trusted him" I ended up getting freaked out, I was having to tell him I was at work and stuff coz he would say there's someone on their way round, be ready in an hour I told him to get fucked in the end. Anywhooo, ages later a guy messaged saying he couldn't find my master on here anymore and would it still be the same price to meet me. Yep, "master" was trying to use me as a cash cow behind my back. That's why he was so desperate to get all these randoms round to my house! Jesus Peach " Aye, after some of the experiences and people I've come across it's a wonder I'm still here. It's little wonder I find it difficult to trust. | |||
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"so love you to DOMME me Miss...." Not sure who you were referring to - but would you really want someone to dominate you who you've not had any interaction with? Don't know the first thing about? Let alone what their BDSM interests are or whether they'd put your safety, limits and boundaries as a priority? Have you not read Princess Peach's post above, and seen the dangers of diving into something without knowing any of that? The prospective dangers of meeting can apply just as equally to men as they do women. | |||
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"I agree with many of the contributions already. I would add that it is important for the submissive to add to the dynamic most reasonable dom/mes would want to know what you want and what you add rather than just a body. Rather than reading stories I would suggest you do your homework. There are a number of good books out there. As well as Screw the Roses are: The New Bottoming Guide Dossie Eaton and Janet Hardy Bdsm for Beginners Bo Blaze SM 101 Jay Wiseman If you prefer videos Evie Lupine on YouTube has good videos Proud to be kinky is a good British Podcast. Good luck" Ooh two more titles for me to order and read. That'll add to the 6 books I need to read through already. A couple of them mentioned above. Thank you. Always love your posts. | |||
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"Be very fucking careful who you trust. I had a guy who sold himself to me as the real deal, said all the right things. After a few months of chatting and one meet he then kept trying to send blokes to my house for me to "prove my submission to him and that I trusted him" I ended up getting freaked out, I was having to tell him I was at work and stuff coz he would say there's someone on their way round, be ready in an hour I told him to get fucked in the end. Anywhooo, ages later a guy messaged saying he couldn't find my master on here anymore and would it still be the same price to meet me. Yep, "master" was trying to use me as a cash cow behind my back. That's why he was so desperate to get all these randoms round to my house! This Find out how to vet people, join a BDSMcommunity and find out who can be trusted (although not perfect as there are still abusers who hide within them). If you are developing an interest in BDSM there are quite a few online classes at the moment that you can check out (look under online events on Fet). Go slow, be vigilant with your submission and only give it to people who deserve it" could you recommend any BDSM community or apps??? | |||
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"I’ve totally changed my sexual desires. I’ve recently found a love of anal sex and bdsm but I’m totally new to the wanting of these sexual desires I would love to listen to stories or fantasies and advice in exploring this world But yourself a copy of Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" read that and sort out in your own mind what you want from a bdsm relationship. Once you're clear on that you will be in a better position to assess the type of person you're interacting with and whether they're genuine. There are an awful lot of bullies and people who think their way is the only way. " Ive still got my copy of that in the attic somewhere. I found it useful when I was trying to work out if my desires made me odd | |||
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"Be very fucking careful who you trust. I had a guy who sold himself to me as the real deal, said all the right things. After a few months of chatting and one meet he then kept trying to send blokes to my house for me to "prove my submission to him and that I trusted him" I ended up getting freaked out, I was having to tell him I was at work and stuff coz he would say there's someone on their way round, be ready in an hour I told him to get fucked in the end. Anywhooo, ages later a guy messaged saying he couldn't find my master on here anymore and would it still be the same price to meet me. Yep, "master" was trying to use me as a cash cow behind my back. That's why he was so desperate to get all these randoms round to my house! This Find out how to vet people, join a BDSMcommunity and find out who can be trusted (although not perfect as there are still abusers who hide within them). If you are developing an interest in BDSM there are quite a few online classes at the moment that you can check out (look under online events on Fet). Go slow, be vigilant with your submission and only give it to people who deserve it could you recommend any BDSM community or apps???" Can't name other sites here but try Googling for BDSM blogs or similar and am sure if you look beyond the porn you'll find some good research material - just go with an open but guarded mind | |||
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"Be very fucking careful who you trust. I had a guy who sold himself to me as the real deal, said all the right things. After a few months of chatting and one meet he then kept trying to send blokes to my house for me to "prove my submission to him and that I trusted him" I ended up getting freaked out, I was having to tell him I was at work and stuff coz he would say there's someone on their way round, be ready in an hour I told him to get fucked in the end. Anywhooo, ages later a guy messaged saying he couldn't find my master on here anymore and would it still be the same price to meet me. Yep, "master" was trying to use me as a cash cow behind my back. That's why he was so desperate to get all these randoms round to my house! This Find out how to vet people, join a BDSMcommunity and find out who can be trusted (although not perfect as there are still abusers who hide within them). If you are developing an interest in BDSM there are quite a few online classes at the moment that you can check out (look under online events on Fet). Go slow, be vigilant with your submission and only give it to people who deserve it could you recommend any BDSM community or apps??? Can't name other sites here but try Googling for BDSM blogs or similar and am sure if you look beyond the porn you'll find some good research material - just go with an open but guarded mind " As the man said there is a site which a load of kinky people are members and is usually recommended by people. We are not allowed on Fab to discuss other sites or name them. In any case I am wary of recommending it to newbie women because it is similar to Fab and I have heard that women who join are inundated with messages from men wanting to dominate them. So you have the same wheat from chaff situation. My suggestion would be to talk to the women submissives on Fab and get their views. There are many very experienced and knowledgeable subs on Fab. | |||
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"Be very fucking careful who you trust. I had a guy who sold himself to me as the real deal, said all the right things. After a few months of chatting and one meet he then kept trying to send blokes to my house for me to "prove my submission to him and that I trusted him" I ended up getting freaked out, I was having to tell him I was at work and stuff coz he would say there's someone on their way round, be ready in an hour I told him to get fucked in the end. Anywhooo, ages later a guy messaged saying he couldn't find my master on here anymore and would it still be the same price to meet me. Yep, "master" was trying to use me as a cash cow behind my back. That's why he was so desperate to get all these randoms round to my house! This Find out how to vet people, join a BDSMcommunity and find out who can be trusted (although not perfect as there are still abusers who hide within them). If you are developing an interest in BDSM there are quite a few online classes at the moment that you can check out (look under online events on Fet). Go slow, be vigilant with your submission and only give it to people who deserve it could you recommend any BDSM community or apps??? Can't name other sites here but try Googling for BDSM blogs or similar and am sure if you look beyond the porn you'll find some good research material - just go with an open but guarded mind As the man said there is a site which a load of kinky people are members and is usually recommended by people. We are not allowed on Fab to discuss other sites or name them. In any case I am wary of recommending it to newbie women because it is similar to Fab and I have heard that women who join are inundated with messages from men wanting to dominate them. So you have the same wheat from chaff situation. My suggestion would be to talk to the women submissives on Fab and get their views. There are many very experienced and knowledgeable subs on Fab. " Talking to women subs is the best advice you have been given. On the American site there is a forum purely for submissive people (if it’s still there), no lamppost pissing dom perspectives, real submissive buffalo hunters. | |||
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"Some very good advice here already OP and the best thing I'd suggest right now, is take a step back, learn as much about yourself and your desires in a BDSM perspective as you can - decide where you think you fit into it. Think about the following: Whether you're dominant, submissive or switch Whether you see your interest as a casual one to spice things up or more a 24/7 full on extreme thing - the BDSM spectrum is incredibly broad and can be as simple as the occasional spanking or complete ownership and some fairly extreme play. What kind of dynamic do you think you'd be looking for - for some D/s is simple servitude, for others a lot more defined and covering pain, humiliation and more. All that and more are things you should be thinking about no matter what role you think you'd take in it - so use the time you have now to read and research, seek out blogs and sites that cater to your areas of interest, look up on-line questionnaires on the subject that will help shape your understanding and interest. Screw The Roses is indeed a good recommendation, another is SM101 - read those and again use them to understand the subject and yourself better. Ask questions not only of others but yourself - knowing yourself and your desires really will help you, and also protect you against those that will tell you you're not a "true" whatever because you see things differently to them. " This is very good advice | |||
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"Be very fucking careful who you trust. I had a guy who sold himself to me as the real deal, said all the right things. After a few months of chatting and one meet he then kept trying to send blokes to my house for me to "prove my submission to him and that I trusted him" I ended up getting freaked out, I was having to tell him I was at work and stuff coz he would say there's someone on their way round, be ready in an hour I told him to get fucked in the end. Anywhooo, ages later a guy messaged saying he couldn't find my master on here anymore and would it still be the same price to meet me. Yep, "master" was trying to use me as a cash cow behind my back. That's why he was so desperate to get all these randoms round to my house! " This is seriously concerning! Glad you're okay now! OP, hard to find the real deal and it's sometimes too late when you find out they're not. I've always played by the rule SSC (safe, sane, and consensual) or similarly RACK (risk aware consensual kink). Explore your boundaries and push your limits, but do so within the confines of trust. Nothing needs to be hurried, and things can go quite wrong with someone who doesn't know what they're doing. | |||
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"I’ve totally changed my sexual desires. I’ve recently found a love of anal sex and bdsm but I’m totally new to the wanting of these sexual desires I would love to listen to stories or fantasies and advice in exploring this world " Becareful, attend local social events, try and avoid sub frenzy! Kink is awesome, but its easy to get carried away. Enjoy your journey | |||
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"One small piece of advice, many people enter the kink scene and act like a kid in a sweet shop and take everything given to them, over indulge, burn out and leave. If people are offering you things (play, experience etc) and are telling you that, as a submissive, you have to accept it, or it is a time limited offer, just walk away. Both a Dom and a submissive have equal power, this is a yin yang thing, without one you cannot have the other so don't let any stranger tell you otherwise. Take your time, make friends, get to know people and understand the dynamic. Kink can be quite intensive so best to take your time." This | |||
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"Hi all Does anyone have ideas on best gasmask set up for breath play ? do you need a hose and bag too ? How does that actually work and who offers that as a system and not as bits ? many thanks DR T " Breath play is considered edge play for a reason and as such you really need to do your research as it is a very risky activity. This site is sadly not the best place to do that. There are lots of gasmask/rebreather set ups, most people find one that fits the aesthetic they are after and cost. You can find them on reseller sites as well as fetish retailers. Some rubber fetishers wear gasmasks without any hose/bag as they are not engaging in breath play. Do you need a hose and bag? Hose depends on the mask/hood you choose, its attachment points and also if you want to use a hose as part of the play. The rebreather bag is there for the actual breath play as it forces the wearer to breathe in exhaled air leading to light headedness. The volume of the bag is linked to the amount of time it can safely be used before it needs to be removed/the wearer is allowed to breathe fresh air. My advice to anyone who wants to engage in edge play is first up don’t, but as you wont listen to me research research research. | |||
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"Hi all Does anyone have ideas on best gasmask set up for breath play ? do you need a hose and bag too ? How does that actually work and who offers that as a system and not as bits ? many thanks DR T Breath play is considered edge play for a reason and as such you really need to do your research as it is a very risky activity. This site is sadly not the best place to do that. There are lots of gasmask/rebreather set ups, most people find one that fits the aesthetic they are after and cost. You can find them on reseller sites as well as fetish retailers. Some rubber fetishers wear gasmasks without any hose/bag as they are not engaging in breath play. Do you need a hose and bag? Hose depends on the mask/hood you choose, its attachment points and also if you want to use a hose as part of the play. The rebreather bag is there for the actual breath play as it forces the wearer to breathe in exhaled air leading to light headedness. The volume of the bag is linked to the amount of time it can safely be used before it needs to be removed/the wearer is allowed to breathe fresh air. My advice to anyone who wants to engage in edge play is first up don’t, but as you wont listen to me research research research." | |||
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"Hi all Does anyone have ideas on best gasmask set up for breath play ? do you need a hose and bag too ? How does that actually work and who offers that as a system and not as bits ? many thanks DR T Breath play is considered edge play for a reason and as such you really need to do your research as it is a very risky activity. This site is sadly not the best place to do that. There are lots of gasmask/rebreather set ups, most people find one that fits the aesthetic they are after and cost. You can find them on reseller sites as well as fetish retailers. Some rubber fetishers wear gasmasks without any hose/bag as they are not engaging in breath play. Do you need a hose and bag? Hose depends on the mask/hood you choose, its attachment points and also if you want to use a hose as part of the play. The rebreather bag is there for the actual breath play as it forces the wearer to breathe in exhaled air leading to light headedness. The volume of the bag is linked to the amount of time it can safely be used before it needs to be removed/the wearer is allowed to breathe fresh air. My advice to anyone who wants to engage in edge play is first up don’t, but as you wont listen to me research research research." Good advice. That is one of my hard limits and always has been. Too many idiots who want to try things without doing all the necessary research and training. | |||
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