FabSwingers.com forum: A thought

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

Following on from Jim's post.

If you kept a diary and found that someone had been reading it would that be a total betrayal of trust?

If your partner, kids or whoever kept a diary would you be tempered to read it.

Maybe there are issues and you think reading it may give you a better understanding.

Would you read another's diary?

Would you forgive someone for reading yours?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I dont keep a diary and i certainly wouldnt read someone elses

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"Following on from Jim's post.

If you kept a diary and found that someone had been reading it would that be a total betrayal of trust?

If your partner, kids or whoever kept a diary would you be tempered to read it.

Maybe there are issues and you think reading it may give you a better understanding.

Would you read another's diary?

Would you forgive someone for reading yours?"

Some excellent questions here Annabelle.

I would like to think that I'd be able to have conversations with a partner about things and that I wouldn't be angry if a diary or journal was read (I journaled for a few months during my depression and it really helped).

I would also hope that a partner would have the same openness with me

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Both of us keep diaries. I keep a journal too. I don't read his and he doesn't read mine. Neither of us would dream of it.

Even within long standing relationships you have to respect that the other person is an individual whose privacy needs respecting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve journaled on and off at various times of transformational change during my life. I do much less now than I did. I would never read someone else’s, but wouldn’t worry if they read mine.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Oh and no I wouldn't forgive someone who invaded my space by reading a private document of any sort.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Putting myself in that spot, I think my action will depend on how important the other person is.

If he/she is not important to me, and I happened to see his/her diary lying around, I won't bother.

However if the other person is an important person (other half, son/daughter) and if I have some worry in my mind about them, to be honest, I am extremely tempted to open and read it.

However, I won't tell them that I read it and if I think some intervention is needed, I will find a way of tackling the issues without exposing my action of reading their diaries - even if it takes time.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

- disclaimer : if I see the diary lying around unattended/uncared for.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Do people ever read their past diaries? It wouldn’t bother me if someone read mine (if I did one)

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Oh and no I wouldn't forgive someone who invaded my space by reading a private document of any sort. "

This essentially. That being said I don't mind my fiancé reading my diaries from childhood because they were the emo ramblings of a twatty teenager and they're not that private really. If I did keep one now and someone read it without permission, I'd be incredibly upset because they are a sort of safe space and for all my waffling, there are some things I would never say out loud.

All this talk on diaries is tempting me to start one again.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Do people ever read their past diaries? It wouldn’t bother me if someone read mine (if I did one)

Yes I do.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Oh and no I wouldn't forgive someone who invaded my space by reading a private document of any sort.

All this talk on diaries is tempting me to start one again.

That sums it up really, it's a safe space, you don't impinge on that.

Start one, if nothing else it's great to look back and reminisce or be reminded of something you'd forgotten about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve journaled on and off at various times of transformational change during my life. I do much less now than I did. I would never read someone else’s, but wouldn’t worry if they read mine."

I’ll add that my most private thoughts I never write down, if I did I’d be mortified if others read it.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

Do children keep diaries anymore. I suppose the modern equivalent would be there social media accounts ,and if I felt there was a issue going on with my child I wouldn’t hesitate to go through there social media or diaries.That’s the only reason i would tho.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I used to keep a diary in my teenage years. They were mainly filled for the most part, about things that happened with my friends and how annoying my sister was. When my parents were going through the process of splitting up I did use to vent my emotions.

One day my dad found my diary, obviously didn't like what he read. He then gave me a massive row and proceeded to read out a section. Where I was essentially bitching about my sister cause she had annoyed me. This caused a massive rift that lasted a couple of years between me and her. And no I've never forgiven my father and I wouldn't if it happened now. Although now it's notes on my phone where I vent.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Do children keep diaries anymore. I suppose the modern equivalent would be there social media accounts ,and if I felt there was a issue going on with my child I wouldn’t hesitate to go through there social media or diaries.That’s the only reason i would tho."

I think the only exception is safeguarding. When our daughter was 15 she ran away, if she'd had a diary I would have read it then to try and find out where she'd gone. The police get you to look for things like that.

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By *hysoseriouslyMan
over a year ago

Kent

I found my eldest daughters diary once (she would of been 16 then).

I put it back and didn’t go near it, those were her private thoughts and I also figured that if she wanted me to know things she would of told me them.

Not sure I would say it was a betrayal to read it, but it didn’t feel right to me

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My mum has always kept a diary and keeps her old ones. She had a big sort out and reread past years and was telling me what was in them. She had about 40 years worth. Now the odd thing is there was one year missing and that was 1990 which is the year i got married and had my son so we have know idea what she had written about it especially my son being born it would of been interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I kept a diary through my teenage years up to about 25.

The only person who I knew had read it was an ex-girlfriend who got upset because she'd read an entry where I was complaining about her dad.

I was annoyed but not that annoyed as she'd got her 'comeuppance' by reading something which wasn't intended to be read by anyone else but me.

I would like to think I wouldn't read someone else's diary but never say never.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I'm going to hold my hand up here and admit to having "snooped" in the past, not for any malicious reason but out of my own insecurities at different times in my life - that need to know, driven completely by fear, perception and yes a need for personal validation to an extent.

It's not something I am proud of having done, and invariably it's achieved nothing other than fuelling anxieties further, and it's certainly not something I have done regularly, nor would do from a position of comfort and personal sense of security - just sometimes when insecurities, anxieties and indeed suspicions (founded or not) come to the fore they get the better of you and drive you to do things which you know are intrinsically wrong and likely to be harmful both to self and others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter uses a diary sometimes but no I wouldn't read it. We do go through her phone every now and then though but that was the agreement when she got a phone (she's 11)

My brother's used to ransack my room to try and find my diary and I'm sure my mum probably found it a couple of times but she never read as far as I'm aware.

Yes, I'd be angry if someone read my diary now.

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

I like to think I wouldn't read another's diary.

But...if it was my child's and I had concerns about them, then I would.

If I was in a relationship and I had felt there was a real problem between us I would talk to them.

If they couldn't or wouldn't discuss those concerns then I may be tempted.

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