FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Monday morning jokes...

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Drop your jokes in to make everyone smile...

I’ll start with a covid related joke..

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and

pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

The old ones are always the best...

But that one, OP, is the exception to the rule

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hom01Man
over a year ago

St. Albans

I've often wondered why a frisbee looks bigger the closer to you it gets ....

Then it hit me

(sorry !!)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A job cleaning mirrors is a career I can really see myself in

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Bloke buys a talking centipede for £5000 and takes it home in a small box.

After 30 minutes he opens the box and says ‘Would you like to go for a pint?’

The centipede doesn’t answer... raising his voice he repeats the question, still no answer.

Getting angry and thinking he’s been sold a fake, he shouts the question loudly.

At which point the centipede sticks his head out of the box and says ‘I heard you the first time, I’m putting my fucking shoes on’.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do gay men an ambulances have it common??

They both take it in the back an go woop woop lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An alien couple come down to earth and goes to a swingers party.

They swap partners and go to their respective bedrooms. The alien takes off his clothes revealing a one inch cock.

The human woman says, "I'm not impressed with this at all."

The alien then twists his right ear and and his cock grows ten inches.

"Now I am impressed!” says the woman.

The alien then twists his left ear and his cock becomes 2 inches thick and he gives the woman the best time of her life.

Afterwards, she meets up with her husband and asks, "How was it for you, darling?"

"Fucking shit", he replied, "All she did was keep twisting my ears!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

The Missus asked me to sync her phone for her so I threw it the river

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

The rotation of the Earth really makes my day

That's all I have sorry

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naquest321Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

Breaking news

John Travolta was hospitalised for suspected COVID-19 but doctors have now confirmed, it was only Saturday night fever and they assure everyone that he is Staying alive.

Apparently, he had the chills, that were multiplying.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

From Phil Pagett, who's well worth following on Twitter:

I know it's shallow, but I love my paddling pool.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"An alien couple come down to earth and goes to a swingers party.

They swap partners and go to their respective bedrooms. The alien takes off his clothes revealing a one inch cock.

The human woman says, "I'm not impressed with this at all."

The alien then twists his right ear and and his cock grows ten inches.

"Now I am impressed!” says the woman.

The alien then twists his left ear and his cock becomes 2 inches thick and he gives the woman the best time of her life.

Afterwards, she meets up with her husband and asks, "How was it for you, darling?"

"Fucking shit", he replied, "All she did was keep twisting my ears!" "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

When i had my clit pierced, the piercer said "i need to numb the area". He put his lips on my clit and went "numb numb numb"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said "would you please press one?"

So I did.

I don't remember much after that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said "would you please press one?"

So I did.

I don't remember much after that "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's a ghost's favourite way to finish sex?

A screampie.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what do you call two crows ?

An Attempted Murder ....

I'll get me coat

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only a genius can say these four words, four times in row really fast without getting tongue twisted. EYE ,YAM ,STEW, PEED.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top