FabSwingers.com forum: Pain

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Probably not the pain you're thinking about but how dose everyone else cope with the pain of being lonely, depressed and mental health issues in general??

I just watch a lot of porn and cry.

Now with ANOTHER lockdown im finding it even harder to find happiness and to cope with the pain that causes....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My coping mechanism is distraction.

Keep my brain active, be a fool on here, keep to a daily routine, eat at set times, exercise with fresh air.

The forums are a good way to have interaction to help combat loneliness, all be it virtually.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yea is difficult, been suspended from work due to a joke about someone whom im friends with outside of work so that's also playing on my mind. So all routine has gone atm haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There have been some really good threads about this issue. Do a forum search for MH or loneliness. I hope you find something useful x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yea is difficult, been suspended from work due to a joke about someone whom im friends with outside of work so that's also playing on my mind. So all routine has gone atm haha"

That sucks.

Hopefully your friend can back you up and come to your defence?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yea she said she has and hopefully they listen but where i work its so PC im not holding my breath

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yea she said she has and hopefully they listen but where i work its so PC im not holding my breath "

Fingers crossed for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Family? Friends? Colleagues?

As Cindi said, routine is important as is eating regularly and well

Forums are a great distraction

They are, however, not a permanent solution for loneliness and depression

BUT they DO help

If you stick around, join in threads (and not just the sex driven ones), people will notice you and engage you

They are a great source of information and help

A much better solution than wanking yourself into oblivion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably not the pain you're thinking about but how dose everyone else cope with the pain of being lonely, depressed and mental health issues in general??

I just watch a lot of porn and cry.

Now with ANOTHER lockdown im finding it even harder to find happiness and to cope with the pain that causes.... "

You can build your own self help tool box. Release from porn or cry might have been temporary fix, but I believe just by reaching out and sharing your pain, you made a first step to building on that. I use meditation app and yoga helped me too or any gentle stretching. Try writing every day one positive thing you did, noticed, experienced. It does help to hold onto these small sunrays. And most importantly, therapies and help are still available online. I know its scary asking for help and facing things but it will be worth it in the end. Fight for yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rather than get too down and depressed I have been trying to to stay positive and be thankful for what I do have, saying that I miss the gyms and my friends hahah but we all still have our health just need to stay put over this lockdown

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rather than get too down and depressed I have been trying to to stay positive and be thankful for what I do have, saying that I miss the gyms and my friends hahah but we all still have our health just need to stay put over this lockdown "

Everyone deals with things differently.. gratitude is a good self care example ! Reminding yourself of all the worth around us and inside us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone deals with things differently.. gratitude is a good self care example ! Reminding yourself of all the worth around us and inside us.

agreed, I think I need to show a better understanding of empathy and compassion but I’m getting better day at a time and being more thoughtful towards others especially at this tough tough time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are all struggling at the mo. Chin up and keep positive x

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

First major lockdown I was fine, I was living with family so not alone, this one I've moved out and on my own and not am I not coping as well as I did last time and we're only a couple of weeks in, and I've just been furloughed again so not even got work to distract my mind now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First lockdown I worked myself into the ground 50-70 hour weeks, everything I could get my hands on. I would do anything to avoid being home, where my ex partner was furloughed. I was in serious denial about how unhappy I was and worked myself to illness.

This lockdown I’m living alone, and I’m still working myself stupid to avoid being home, but this time it’s to avoid being alone in my own head for too long. I was meant to have started counselling for emotional and physical abuse, but the lockdown has pushed that back. So my coping mechanisms right now are working and exercise, although the weather means I can’t run... and my other coping mechanism is sex which I can’t do right now either because of lockdown.

So yeah, whither I’m coping or not is a complicated question.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Probably not the pain you're thinking about but how dose everyone else cope with the pain of being lonely, depressed and mental health issues in general??

I just watch a lot of porn and cry.

Now with ANOTHER lockdown im finding it even harder to find happiness and to cope with the pain that causes.... "

Does watching porn and crying actually help solve it at all? Or just a distraction and temp release.

Ultimately you have to find a solution where you are not lonely anymore and that’s going to be developing relationships with people that will support you ,and some life purpose / aims that’s much more than just distractions, but it’s two way, you have to take risks, invest yourself in people abs things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of people on this thread have mentioned distraction and that is brilliant particularly in the short term along with self care.

I will add distraction does only help in the short term and the underlying issues need to be dealt with.

It's so difficult at the moment though because as others have said mental health support Is stretched and more difficult to access when it is available.

My best advice is keep yourself as active both mentally and physically as you possibly can.

Maybe reach out to some friends especially those who you haven't spoken to for a while or maybe put on a back burner.(as long as they are healthy friendships)

Chatting on the forums can be a good distraction and comforting when feeling lonely.

I wish you and everyone else on this thread that is struggling well and just remember this will not be forever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of people on this thread have mentioned distraction and that is brilliant particularly in the short term along with self care.

I will add distraction does only help in the short term and the underlying issues need to be dealt with.

It's so difficult at the moment though because as others have said mental health support Is stretched and more difficult to access when it is available.

My best advice is keep yourself as active both mentally and physically as you possibly can.

Maybe reach out to some friends especially those who you haven't spoken to for a while or maybe put on a back burner.(as long as they are healthy friendships)

Chatting on the forums can be a good distraction and comforting when feeling lonely.

I wish you and everyone else on this thread that is struggling well and just remember this will not be forever.

Love you Lorna

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By *nked_kittenWoman
over a year ago

Ankh Morpork

I have some amazing online friends that really try and support me but I’m crippled by physical loneliness and lack of contact

I’m awake at 4am because I died in my dream. I know that things are getting bad again for me.

So by being self aware I hope to manage my depression a bit. To try and keep it from overwhelming me.

I go out and feed the local birds, pigeons and other birds in town are starving so I feed them. In the summer I was making sure I put water out for the foxes. Makes me happy to know I’m helping them.

I try and reach out to people even when I don’t want to and I make my days into smaller chunks of time so I don’t have to deal with such long stretches of being alone.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Buy lego.

It can be therapeutic to sit there and follow the instructions methodically, without needing to think about anything else.

Unlike TV your brain and body are engaged.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey OP. Hope morning is less tearful and tense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's hard OP. Just gotta keep plugging away until this shit is over. Hopefully theres light for all of us at the end of the tunnel. Hope you feel better soon.

With the gyms shut, S.A.D and our other disorders. We are both teary and struggling. My distraction is work.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Lots of people on this thread have mentioned distraction and that is brilliant particularly in the short term along with self care.

I will add distraction does only help in the short term and the underlying issues need to be dealt with.

It's so difficult at the moment though because as others have said mental health support Is stretched and more difficult to access when it is available.

My best advice is keep yourself as active both mentally and physically as you possibly can.

Maybe reach out to some friends especially those who you haven't spoken to for a while or maybe put on a back burner.(as long as they are healthy friendships)

Chatting on the forums can be a good distraction and comforting when feeling lonely.

I wish you and everyone else on this thread that is struggling well and just remember this will not be forever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have some amazing online friends that really try and support me but I’m crippled by physical loneliness and lack of contact

I’m awake at 4am because I died in my dream. I know that things are getting bad again for me.

So by being self aware I hope to manage my depression a bit. To try and keep it from overwhelming me.

I try and reach out to people even when I don’t want to and I make my days into smaller chunks of time so I don’t have to deal with such long stretches of being alone.

I think you are doing simply amazing. That must be so scary to wake up like this.

Self awareness of things spiralling out of control is crucial and you are actively counteracting it x

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By *nked_kittenWoman
over a year ago

Ankh Morpork

"I have some amazing online friends that really try and support me but I’m crippled by physical loneliness and lack of contact

I’m awake at 4am because I died in my dream. I know that things are getting bad again for me.

So by being self aware I hope to manage my depression a bit. To try and keep it from overwhelming me.

I try and reach out to people even when I don’t want to and I make my days into smaller chunks of time so I don’t have to deal with such long stretches of being alone.

I think you are doing simply amazing. That must be so scary to wake up like this.

Self awareness of things spiralling out of control is crucial and you are actively counteracting it x"

Thank you

One thing I have learnt is to take control of my depression rather than letting it control me.

Doesn’t mean it goes away but it becomes less of a monster if I can assess it a bit more rationally.

Anxiety is a bitch but doesn’t have to mean that I need to let it control my life all the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's hard OP. Just gotta keep plugging away until this shit is over. Hopefully theres light for all of us at the end of the tunnel. Hope you feel better soon.

With the gyms shut, S.A.D and our other disorders. We are both teary and struggling. My distraction is work.

What he said...

He is my distraction

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you

One thing I have learnt is to take control of my depression rather than letting it control me.

Doesn’t mean it goes away but it becomes less of a monster if I can assess it a bit more rationally.

Anxiety is a bitch but doesn’t have to mean that I need to let it control my life all the time.

No.. you hold the reigns as tight as you can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hear you, OP.

I’ve been up and down this lockdown, sometimes barely getting out of bed.

What I’ve found is exercise and having something to look forward to is a great help. I try to make exciting, healthy food and ration my favourite TV shows. Working in short bursts helps too, where possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of exercise, out for a quick run makes me always feel amazing. A bath, try being busy, make an excuse everyday to do something productive, Netflix and cuddling my dogs are my distraction tho haha xxx

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By *ove3funCouple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"Yea is difficult, been suspended from work due to a joke about someone whom im friends with outside of work so that's also playing on my mind. So all routine has gone atm haha"

That's so shitty

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By *ove3funCouple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I don't have an answer to your original question. Life is pretty low for me at the moment too. I'm trying to run and trying to be productive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sad for everyone suffering...the shittest of times...work walks and alcohol for us...worried about the latter though when it first hits and we relax makes us realise how anxious and tense we are

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By *rre786Man
over a year ago

Reading

For me, it's the power of going out for a walk. Kinda ticks the exercise box, but it's much more than that for me. I tried taking up running during the first lockdown, and while it was ok from an exercise point of view I found it did less for me from a mental wellness point of view.

Going out for a good walk really gives me the time and space to process what's on my mind, and I really feel the impact when I can't get out for a while...

Just be careful, if you are not used to walking and processing it can be quite a journey, especially if emotions are pent up...

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Watch a lot of online comedy. Not the big names, but the people who are bubbling under. Think of them as the equivalent of indies.

Scott Bennett, Simon Lomas, Diane Spencer, all three are great.

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By *razyhappyguys04Couple
over a year ago

London.

Take high dosage of vitamin d, and magnesium . That will take away depression. Also go for long walks or try jogging ,

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