Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to The Lounge |
| Jump to newest |  |
  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
  xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So far today..... I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor. Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird). Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom. And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from. My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened. Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours "Oh Posh. Have a virtual kiss on your arse to make it feel better x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm moaning about a hangover. I feel for NSP. My toilet moved quite alot last night " I now have this picture of a bog flying round the room. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That has helped . Thankyou xx"You're welcome. I do these things to bring others joy! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Thoughts of your arsenal will gladden my day x" *arse! Frikkin predictive text | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So far today..... I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor. Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird). Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom. And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from. My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened. Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours
Oh Posh. Have a virtual kiss on your arse to make it feel better x"My boobs hurt too | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm moaning about a hangover. I feel for NSP. My toilet moved quite alot last night I now have this picture of a bog flying round the room."Welcome to my world Doc  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm moaning about a hangover. I feel for NSP. My toilet moved quite alot last night "To be fair..... both our issues are self inflicted  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So far today..... I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor. Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird). Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom. And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from. My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened. Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours
Oh Posh. Have a virtual kiss on your arse to make it feel better x
My boobs hurt too "I’ll send virtual kisses for them too  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Thoughts of your arsenal will gladden my day x *arse! Frikkin predictive text" When you come to stroke my hair you should maybe do my arse too | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So far today..... I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor. Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird). Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom. And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from. My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened. Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours
Oh Posh. Have a virtual kiss on your arse to make it feel better x
My boobs hurt too
I’ll send virtual kisses for them too "Thank you Doc | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Thoughts of your arsenal will gladden my day x *arse! Frikkin predictive text When you come to stroke my hair you should maybe do my arse too "I could. I have quite big hands! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I feel bad for you. I feel bad for laughing. I feel better now." You're welcome too | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
(Sorry for laughing, I hope your arse is okay ) | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" . Oh I do love you posh. You’re so like me "I'm flattered and a little alarmed 
Love you too Nora | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Thoughts of your arsenal will gladden my day x *arse! Frikkin predictive text When you come to stroke my hair you should maybe do my arse too
I could.
I have quite big hands! "
Um..... my innuendo was either lost on you or you have plans that I'm now a little scared about....  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
and then obviously still have to use alcohol gel every 20 mins or so on shift | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Oh I love you
(Sorry for laughing, I hope your arse is okay ) "You're not sorry. And I don't blame you. I'd laugh too | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Haha, awwh, did make me laugh, sorry. But not sorry, I slammed a fire door shut on my own hand at the weekend and then obviously still have to use alcohol gel every 20 mins or so on shift "Well I'm not laughing at your story of clumsiness! (Only because I can't laugh and type at the same time so I waited until I'd finished before replying) Clumsy fools unite! We should get your sore hand and my sore arse together for therapy | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Thoughts of your arsenal will gladden my day x *arse! Frikkin predictive text When you come to stroke my hair you should maybe do my arse too
I could.
I have quite big hands!
Um..... my innuendo was either lost on you or you have plans that I'm now a little scared about.... "I meant that big hands would be handy because ... well .... erm... oh nevermind | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x" Taking notes. Masterclass in style! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x" Awwww Natalie I adore you.
However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.
When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Thoughts of your arsenal will gladden my day x *arse! Frikkin predictive text When you come to stroke my hair you should maybe do my arse too
I could.
I have quite big hands!
Um..... my innuendo was either lost on you or you have plans that I'm now a little scared about....
I meant that big hands would be handy because ... well .... erm... oh nevermind "Oh.... you were being innocent and sweet
Sorry.... yes, please, bring your big ones here  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Haha, awwh, did make me laugh, sorry. But not sorry, I slammed a fire door shut on my own hand at the weekend and then obviously still have to use alcohol gel every 20 mins or so on shift
Well I'm not laughing at your story of clumsiness!
(Only because I can't laugh and type at the same time so I waited until I'd finished before replying)
Clumsy fools unite! We should get your sore hand and my sore arse together for therapy "Yes, purely for therapeutic reasons | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x Awwww Natalie I adore you.
However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.
When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me "Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x Taking notes. Masterclass in style!" Lol thanks you x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Awww sending a warm welsh cwtch x x " Cwtches make everything better Taff xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Haha, awwh, did make me laugh, sorry. But not sorry, I slammed a fire door shut on my own hand at the weekend and then obviously still have to use alcohol gel every 20 mins or so on shift
Well I'm not laughing at your story of clumsiness!
(Only because I can't laugh and type at the same time so I waited until I'd finished before replying)
Clumsy fools unite! We should get your sore hand and my sore arse together for therapy
Yes, purely for therapeutic reasons "Obvs | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x Awwww Natalie I adore you.
However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.
When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me
Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x"Erm... about the graceful bit! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x Awwww Natalie I adore you.
However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.
When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me
Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x"
Marry me?
Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
only having fun...promise x
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Are you still stuck on the floor by the toilet?" Um. Yes
And this is why you should always take your phone to the bathroom with you.
A) so you can summon help when you're an idiot
B) so you can share your comedy twattishness with fab | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"#No one does it like you do! You daft mare! Hope you’re ok x " I should give lessons..... 
I'll be fine, thanks DC. Eventually xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You ever thought of a bungalow with an adapted w/c and possibly a carer only having fun...promise x
"I'm seriously considering it.... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So far today..... I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor. Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird). Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom. And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from. My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened. Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours "I hope your day gets a whole lot better but I am desperately sorry for admitting you made me giggle  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
,
From a fellow clumsy idiot who managed to burn herself in on a bagel straight out of the toaster this morning | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x Awwww Natalie I adore you.
However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.
When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me
Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x
Marry me?
Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly "I read the story but in my eyes you are graceful as it’s ur loveble quirkyness that makes you graceful in my eyes And marry you would be my pleasure as you make me the luckiest person in the world to have married someone as amazing and as glamorous and beautiful as you are x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So far today..... I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor. Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird). Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom. And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from. My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened. Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours
I hope your day gets a whole lot better but I am desperately sorry for admitting you made me giggle "It’s the way she tells ‘em | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Sorry, it just tickled me
As you were x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So far today..... I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor. Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird). Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom. And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from. My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened. Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours
I hope your day gets a whole lot better but I am desperately sorry for admitting you made me giggle "Don't be sorry.... tis my raison d'etre. Or at least my raison d'being on the fab forum | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
""B" is the preferred option. "I shall continue to share | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I snorted my can of pepsi reading that "You're welcome.... although I hate when it comes out through the nose! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I feel your pain, sorry you hurt yourself ,
From a fellow clumsy idiot who managed to burn herself in on a bagel straight out of the toaster this morning "They let you near hot stuff??
This seems like a bad plan | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It’s not you Posh. You’ve clearly been the victim of night gremlins. They shifted your position in bed. Moved your crutch and toilet. Keep an ear open for childish giggling. " I love your faith in me Jim.... but I'm pretty sure I'm clumsy and the childish giggling is coming from the forumites.... Would you tend to my bruises please | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x Awwww Natalie I adore you.
However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.
When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me
Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x
Marry me?
Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly
I read the story but in my eyes you are graceful as it’s ur loveble quirkyness that makes you graceful in my eyes
And marry you would be my pleasure as you make me the luckiest person in the world to have married someone as amazing and as glamorous and beautiful as you are
x"I'm not wearing a long dress though. That's dangerous | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So far today..... I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor. Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird). Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom. And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from. My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened. Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours "You’ve just made me laugh so much, not at your misfortune of course. This thread has totally lifted my spirits on this damp and cold day. Then I peeped at your profile and it raised something else. A real beauty and deserving of the marriage proposal in the thread .
Could I maybe squeeze in in the other side of the toilet? That would so make my day,
Kisses xxx
Ashley | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I rang Mum & Dad at the wrong time earlier Both are in their early 80's They were getting dressed and Dad (who has early stage dementia) was, apparently, trying to squeeze himself into Mums slim fit jeans The conversation stopped and I just heard "You won't get them on, they're only a Size 10"
Sorry, it just tickled me
As you were x"
That's made me chuckle.
Thank you x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x Awwww Natalie I adore you.
However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.
When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me
Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x
Marry me?
Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly
I read the story but in my eyes you are graceful as it’s ur loveble quirkyness that makes you graceful in my eyes
And marry you would be my pleasure as you make me the luckiest person in the world to have married someone as amazing and as glamorous and beautiful as you are
x
I'm not wearing a long dress though. That's dangerous "That’s ok ware what ever you feel comfortable in as no matter what clothes you have on you still be beautiful x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So far today..... I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor. Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird). Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom. And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from. My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened. Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours
You’ve just made me laugh so much, not at your misfortune of course. This thread has totally lifted my spirits on this damp and cold day.
Then I peeped at your profile and it raised something else.
A real beauty and deserving of the marriage proposal in the thread .
Could I maybe squeeze in in the other side of the toilet? That would so make my day,
Kisses xxx
Ashley"Aww thanks Ashley.... and you're welcome. I love my idiocy bringing joy to others
Couple of points here...
A) if you were here I'd be pissed off if you squeezed in at the other side of the toilet because I kinda need help getting off the floor rather than company.
B) I had to ask Natalie to marry me! She's too shy
C) always a pleasure to be uplifting | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x Awwww Natalie I adore you.
However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.
When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me
Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x
Marry me?
Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly
I read the story but in my eyes you are graceful as it’s ur loveble quirkyness that makes you graceful in my eyes
And marry you would be my pleasure as you make me the luckiest person in the world to have married someone as amazing and as glamorous and beautiful as you are
x
I'm not wearing a long dress though. That's dangerous
That’s ok ware what ever you feel comfortable in as no matter what clothes you have on you still be beautiful x" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x Awwww Natalie I adore you.
However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.
When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me
Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x
Marry me?
Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly
I read the story but in my eyes you are graceful as it’s ur loveble quirkyness that makes you graceful in my eyes
And marry you would be my pleasure as you make me the luckiest person in the world to have married someone as amazing and as glamorous and beautiful as you are
x
I'm not wearing a long dress though. That's dangerous
That’s ok ware what ever you feel comfortable in as no matter what clothes you have on you still be beautiful x
"I am Glad I could make you smile to day x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x Awwww Natalie I adore you.
However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.
When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me
Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x
Marry me?
Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly
I read the story but in my eyes you are graceful as it’s ur loveble quirkyness that makes you graceful in my eyes
And marry you would be my pleasure as you make me the luckiest person in the world to have married someone as amazing and as glamorous and beautiful as you are
x
I'm not wearing a long dress though. That's dangerous
That’s ok ware what ever you feel comfortable in as no matter what clothes you have on you still be beautiful x
I am Glad I could make you smile to day x "Always do darling | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Are you still stuck on the floor by the toilet? Um. Yes
And this is why you should always take your phone to the bathroom with you.
A) so you can summon help when you're an idiot
B) so you can share your comedy twattishness with fab"Are Dyno Rod on the way to assist? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Are you still stuck on the floor by the toilet? Um. Yes
And this is why you should always take your phone to the bathroom with you.
A) so you can summon help when you're an idiot
B) so you can share your comedy twattishness with fab
Are Dyno Rod on the way to assist? "
My sister will be along. I think she needs to stop laughing first. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I feel your pain, sorry you hurt yourself ,
From a fellow clumsy idiot who managed to burn herself in on a bagel straight out of the toaster this morning
They let you near hot stuff??
This seems like a bad plan "I’m unattended, it’s scarey stuff .
Might go and get the cheese grater out. Send help | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
look on the bright side - you haven't broken a mirror.... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I feel your pain, sorry you hurt yourself ,
From a fellow clumsy idiot who managed to burn herself in on a bagel straight out of the toaster this morning
They let you near hot stuff??
This seems like a bad plan
I’m unattended, it’s scarey stuff .
Might go and get the cheese grater out. Send help "Step away from the hot and the sharp. Far, far away. Have you learnt nothing from my mishaps? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I snorted my can of pepsi reading that
You're welcome.... although I hate when it comes out through the nose!"Only Posh could make that sound naughty. Are you really still trapped? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I broke a glass lampshade this morning
look on the bright side - you haven't broken a mirror...."Yet. It's always yet with me
I hope you didn't hurt yourself. Or have a particular fondness for the lampshade | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I knew by the title this would be you NSP! Don't worry, I walked into my door last night by trying to open it the wrong way "I'm infamous. And now laughing at your dumbassery too | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I snorted my can of pepsi reading that
You're welcome.... although I hate when it comes out through the nose!
Only Posh could make that sound naughty.
Are you really still trapped? "I am really still trapped. I tried a shuffle forward but it hurt so I stopped. Being pulled out of this one is going to be hard. And I just realised.... I did the same making it sound naughty thing again | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So far today..... I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor. Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird). Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom. And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from. My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened. Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours
You’ve just made me laugh so much, not at your misfortune of course. This thread has totally lifted my spirits on this damp and cold day.
Then I peeped at your profile and it raised something else.
A real beauty and deserving of the marriage proposal in the thread .
Could I maybe squeeze in in the other side of the toilet? That would so make my day,
Kisses xxx
Ashley
Aww thanks Ashley.... and you're welcome. I love my idiocy bringing joy to others
Couple of points here...
A) if you were here I'd be pissed off if you squeezed in at the other side of the toilet because I kinda need help getting off the floor rather than company.
B) I had to ask Natalie to marry me! She's too shy
C) always a pleasure to be uplifting "Good point well made. I’m on my way with a shoe horn and some gel! Only joking. I don’t possess a shoe horn. Hugs xx ?? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So far today..... I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor. Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird). Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom. And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from. My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened. Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours
You’ve just made me laugh so much, not at your misfortune of course. This thread has totally lifted my spirits on this damp and cold day.
Then I peeped at your profile and it raised something else.
A real beauty and deserving of the marriage proposal in the thread .
Could I maybe squeeze in in the other side of the toilet? That would so make my day,
Kisses xxx
Ashley
Aww thanks Ashley.... and you're welcome. I love my idiocy bringing joy to others
Couple of points here...
A) if you were here I'd be pissed off if you squeezed in at the other side of the toilet because I kinda need help getting off the floor rather than company.
B) I had to ask Natalie to marry me! She's too shy
C) always a pleasure to be uplifting
Good point well made. I’m on my way with a shoe horn and some gel! Only joking. I don’t possess a shoe horn.
Hugs xx ?? "That's maybe a better plan. Thank you. I can't open the door though. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I broke a glass lampshade this morning
look on the bright side - you haven't broken a mirror....
Yet. It's always yet with me
I hope you didn't hurt yourself. Or have a particular fondness for the lampshade "No I am in one piece am pleased to report. Hope you are ok? It's trying to find new angles for photos that caused the problem lol | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So far today..... I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor. Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird). Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom. And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from. My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened. Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours
You’ve just made me laugh so much, not at your misfortune of course. This thread has totally lifted my spirits on this damp and cold day.
Then I peeped at your profile and it raised something else.
A real beauty and deserving of the marriage proposal in the thread .
Could I maybe squeeze in in the other side of the toilet? That would so make my day,
Kisses xxx
Ashley
Aww thanks Ashley.... and you're welcome. I love my idiocy bringing joy to others
Couple of points here...
A) if you were here I'd be pissed off if you squeezed in at the other side of the toilet because I kinda need help getting off the floor rather than company.
B) I had to ask Natalie to marry me! She's too shy
C) always a pleasure to be uplifting
Good point well made. I’m on my way with a shoe horn and some gel! Only joking. I don’t possess a shoe horn.
Hugs xx ??
That's maybe a better plan. Thank you. I can't open the door though. "Hopefully your sister has a key. Otherwise it’ll need to be a forced entry! Not a fan of those. Got to go to do a shift at our vaccination clinic. Just a steward, nothing medically exciting. Hope you are ok. I trust you’ll post an outcome. Love Ashley xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I broke a glass lampshade this morning
look on the bright side - you haven't broken a mirror....
Yet. It's always yet with me
I hope you didn't hurt yourself. Or have a particular fondness for the lampshade
No I am in one piece am pleased to report. Hope you are ok?
It's trying to find new angles for photos that caused the problem lol"I'm glad to hear you're in one piece. I appear to at least have all the important parts attached. The photo angle issue.... tis dangerous! I applaud your dedication
Remind me to tell you about the time we did the "elegance" challenge and I fell off my heels and down the stairs.... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Hopefully your sister has a key. Otherwise it’ll need to be a forced entry! Not a fan of those. Got to go to do a shift at our vaccination clinic. Just a steward, nothing medically exciting. Hope you are ok. I trust you’ll post an outcome. Love Ashley xx " She has a key. Worryingly this is not our first rodeo
Good luck at the clinic! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
I do hope you've managed to get yourself up off the floor now and plonked your ass on the sofa instead | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What did you want to go and do that for Posh
I do hope you've managed to get yourself up off the floor now and plonked your ass on the sofa instead "I figured would make a fun tale. Plus, I'm all about helping people and this was one thing I've not tested yet. Result of test..... tis a bad idea. Don't do it. You're welcome. And I'm kinda still sat here. My sister shouldn't be long now and I found a delightful unicorn toilet seat on amazon to replace the newly broken one. I'm hoping someone wants to buy it for my birthday | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What did you want to go and do that for Posh
I do hope you've managed to get yourself up off the floor now and plonked your ass on the sofa instead
I figured would make a fun tale.
Plus, I'm all about helping people and this was one thing I've not tested yet.
Result of test..... tis a bad idea. Don't do it. You're welcome.
And I'm kinda still sat here. My sister shouldn't be long now and I found a delightful unicorn toilet seat on amazon to replace the newly broken one. I'm hoping someone wants to buy it for my birthday "You actually want it for your birthday?? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What did you want to go and do that for Posh
I do hope you've managed to get yourself up off the floor now and plonked your ass on the sofa instead
I figured would make a fun tale.
Plus, I'm all about helping people and this was one thing I've not tested yet.
Result of test..... tis a bad idea. Don't do it. You're welcome.
And I'm kinda still sat here. My sister shouldn't be long now and I found a delightful unicorn toilet seat on amazon to replace the newly broken one. I'm hoping someone wants to buy it for my birthday
You actually want it for your birthday?? "I kinda want it for tomorrow. Sitting on the loo without a seat will be uncomfortable | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Update. I have been saved from the floor and have now got a 3 year old and a 6 year old guarding me as I recline on the settee. In case I fall off it apparently "Awww | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Update. I have been saved from the floor and have now got a 3 year old and a 6 year old guarding me as I recline on the settee. In case I fall off it apparently "I was about to ask, are you off the floor or do we need to send a rescue party?! Crutches are a bastard. I hate mine. They fall over all the time | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Update. I have been saved from the floor and have now got a 3 year old and a 6 year old guarding me as I recline on the settee. In case I fall off it apparently
Awww "Don't awww them. The younger one ran into the bathroom and just said "Auntie Posh, that's not where you are meant to have a wee wee". Cheeky bugger | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Update. I have been saved from the floor and have now got a 3 year old and a 6 year old guarding me as I recline on the settee. In case I fall off it apparently
I was about to ask, are you off the floor or do we need to send a rescue party?!
Crutches are a bastard. I hate mine. They fall over all the time "They're so annoying! Useful though, obviously. I have been rescued indeed. But thanks for the offer! Next time, send some burly men in uniforms would you? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Update. I have been saved from the floor and have now got a 3 year old and a 6 year old guarding me as I recline on the settee. In case I fall off it apparently
Awww
Don't awww them. The younger one ran into the bathroom and just said "Auntie Posh, that's not where you are meant to have a wee wee".
Cheeky bugger " kids | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Hopefully your sister has a key. Otherwise it’ll need to be a forced entry! Not a fan of those. Got to go to do a shift at our vaccination clinic. Just a steward, nothing medically exciting. Hope you are ok. I trust you’ll post an outcome. Love Ashley xx She has a key. Worryingly this is not our first rodeo
Good luck at the clinic!"Glad you find your way out of your predicament and hope you’re recovered now? Thank your for your amazingly uplifting thoughts, at a time you were the one who needed uplifting. You have an amazing personality and it would be a privilege to count you as a friend. PM me anytime. It will always be a pleasure to chat. I can’t pm you as I’m out of your age range sadly. More importantly, do take care. Hugs xxx Ashley | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Update. I have been saved from the floor and have now got a 3 year old and a 6 year old guarding me as I recline on the settee. In case I fall off it apparently
I was about to ask, are you off the floor or do we need to send a rescue party?!
Crutches are a bastard. I hate mine. They fall over all the time
They're so annoying! Useful though, obviously.
I have been rescued indeed. But thanks for the offer! Next time, send some burly men in uniforms would you?"Sorry only just seen this after a manic day! Yes, crutches are useful. But also fecking annoying. I have a mainly hate-hate relationship with mine
Hmmmm, Mr KC is a slimline version but very strong - I'll DPD him over next time  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
