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Pain..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Do I have the right to feel grief and pain through self inflicted behaviours?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Yes.

Hopefully those feelings will help you learn

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Of course you do. You have the right to feel whatever you want.

Hope things get better.

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By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Stockport

Of course. Just be aware that people may point out the self inflicted bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do I have the right to feel grief and pain through self inflicted behaviours? "

All your feelings are valid. If you’re struggling, reach out for help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absofuckinglutely!

Your feeling matter. But your response to them is what really counts.

Hope you're ok OP.

Lu

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Remember to forgive yourself and learn though .. It is not good to ruminate and endlessly torture yourself

It is also good to learn so you don't make same mistake again

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Some wise answers, self inflicted meaning I slipped up and made a mistake and in doing so lost pretty much 7 great years over a few bad months of regret. It happens and I know I can’t change it but I need to learn how to grow and move on past it! Thanks for the reply’s!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some wise answers, self inflicted meaning I slipped up and made a mistake and in doing so lost pretty much 7 great years over a few bad months of regret. It happens and I know I can’t change it but I need to learn how to grow and move on past it! Thanks for the reply’s! "

Great inward reflection and very pragmatic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/01/21 12:45:43]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’m open to admit I made mistakes, I can’t in no way justify my wrong doings however I slept with a close friend whilst in a relationship with my ex. Things were bad and like your example I invited a friend over through time of comfort and one thing led to another. My hatred towards myself can be so overwhelming at times because it wasn’t just a one time thing I couldn’t help but taste the forbidden fruit especially knowing how cold my ex was at the time! As I said I can’t justify it but it’s how I can move on from it (happened over a year ago but yet still beat myself up)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Absolutely! It's often additionally painful when you recognise your own responsibility in it. I had an ex who had a bit of a breakdown a few years after we broke up as he grew up and reflected a little and didn't like what he saw. However, instead of working on these things to improve his future, he became hyper focused on it and continued to beat himself up and try to get me back in order to "right his wrongs". Meanwhile I had moved on and harboured no ill feeling for him as I recognised that we were young and naive and that while the end of the relationship had been pretty terrible, overall it was positive and we were happy for most of the 4 years we were together. So while yes, you are fully entitled to feel pain and grief over a situation of your own doing, try not to get too hung up on what has already been done as that you cannot change. Try to use the experience to learn from and grow so that you can avoid this pain again in the future. Good luck OP .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely! It's often additionally painful when you recognise your own responsibility in it. I had an ex who had a bit of a breakdown a few years after we broke up as he grew up and reflected a little and didn't like what he saw. However, instead of working on these things to improve his future, he became hyper focused on it and continued to beat himself up and try to get me back in order to "right his wrongs". Meanwhile I had moved on and harboured no ill feeling for him as I recognised that we were young and naive and that while the end of the relationship had been pretty terrible, overall it was positive and we were happy for most of the 4 years we were together. So while yes, you are fully entitled to feel pain and grief over a situation of your own doing, try not to get too hung up on what has already been done as that you cannot change. Try to use the experience to learn from and grow so that you can avoid this pain again in the future. Good luck OP . "

Wise words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you are okay OP, all feelings are valid. Hope you are able to work through them. Whatever it is, remember, it will pass. Forgive yourself and try to let go.

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